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[Jeremy] Hello and welcome
to The Grand Tour,
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00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:53,760
which is not coming
to you this time
from the top
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00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,440
of a volcano or the bottom
of the sea.
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00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,680
No. We are in
Berwick-upon-Tweed,
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00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:00,840
the most northerly town
in England.
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00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:04,600
And our mission is to
set off across the border
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00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:07,800
and then drive all the way
across Scotland
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00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,720
to the Outer Hebrides.
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00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:11,360
Now, this promises to be
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00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:15,360
one of the most
beautiful drives
we have ever done.
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00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:16,920
And on the way,
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00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:21,120
we will be attempting
to answer a very
important question.
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00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:22,640
Yeah. It's this...
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00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,640
In Europe we listen
to American music,
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00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,680
we buy American clothes,
we drink American beer,
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00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,880
we wear American sunglasses.
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00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:35,240
But American cars
have never caught on.
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00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:37,240
Why?
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00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:42,600
To try and find out,
each of us bought
an American car.
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00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:47,280
And this is what I chose,
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00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:52,360
a 19-foot-long
Lincoln Continental Mark V.
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00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,880
Remember Jock Ewing
out of Dallas?
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00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:04,640
He had one of these.
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00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,000
Fat Frank Cannon,
the TV detective,
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00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:08,280
he had something very similar,
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00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,520
a Mark IV, basically the same.
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00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,760
And what this means is,
is that when I was growing up,
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00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,200
I would see a Lincoln
on TV every week
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00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:17,600
and then I'd turn
to my dad and say,
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00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:20,160
"Dad, can we have
a Ford Cortina?"
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00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,840
Why didn't I want
one of these?
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00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:24,320
Why didn't he?
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00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:26,560
Ooh, hello.
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00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,360
It's a... a Buick Riviera.
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00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,360
Oh, yeah!
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00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,840
With a...
with a self-opening boot.
Shall I shut that?
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00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:48,960
When did that happen?
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00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,320
-Just now as you pulled up.
-Yeah, okay,
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00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,600
that's a feature of the model.
This is the legendary
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00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:56,960
1971 Buick Riviera,
the boattail.
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00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,080
What?
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00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:02,240
No, I'm just...
I'm just... I'm stunned.
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00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,320
Well, no, the thing is,
is we said,
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00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,280
"Why did American cars
not catch on in Europe?"
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00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,360
Yeah.
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00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,720
Did this even
catch on in America?
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00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,320
Well, that's the thing.
You see, the Riviera
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00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:12,280
was Buick's answer
to the Ford Thunderbird.
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00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:15,040
So from '63
they were making Rivieras.
And it was doing well.
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00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:16,360
They were selling quite a few,
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00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:17,920
-not as many as
the Thunderbird.
-Yeah.
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00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:21,040
So in '71 they said,
"Let's make something
really striking."
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00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,280
Really new,
really out there.
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00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,720
And they made this
and everybody hated it.
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00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:26,840
[Jeremy laughs]
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00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,240
[Richard] Literally!
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00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:31,320
Their advertising material said,
"It's like nothing else."
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00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,800
And Americans went,
"Good." [chuckles]
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00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:38,840
But... Jock Ewing,
Fat Frank Cannon,
celebrity all over it.
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00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:39,880
[Richard clears throat]
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00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:41,640
Clint Eastwood.
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00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,880
-Really?
-Jeff Bridges.
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00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:45,120
-Really?
-Yes.
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00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:46,520
What, they both had this?
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00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,280
-Bruce Willis.
-Bruce... Really?
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00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,080
-So, Frank and Jock?
-Yes.
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00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,840
Bruce, Clint and Jeff?
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00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:52,920
[Richard] Yes!
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00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,920
And we still ran around
in Europe going,
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00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,560
"I don't know,
shall we have
an Allegro or...
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00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,680
We had an Allegro Estate,
when this existed!
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00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:01,800
What do you
suppose May's got?
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00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,320
No, let me rephrase that.
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00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,440
What sort of Cadillac
do you suppose
May's bought?
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00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,360
[Jeremy] Eventually...
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00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,760
after 20 feet of waiting,
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00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:28,000
we got the answer.
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00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:33,520
The car now arriving
at platforms four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine and ten...
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00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:36,920
-May?
-Yes, sir?
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00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,440
We guessed you'd
have a Cadillac.
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00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,520
Not just a Cadillac.
This is a Cadillac
Coupe DeVille.
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00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,280
-[Jeremy] Is it?
-[James] The Cadillac
of Cadillacs.
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00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,960
Honestly, driving this,
I feel like Elvis Presley.
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00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,200
What, dead on a lavatory?
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00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:49,600
-[snorts]
-[laughs]
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00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,480
Oh my God,
how much burgundy
can you get in one car?
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00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:54,280
It's like an American
motel room.
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00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:58,040
They must have scraped out
all the burgundy mines
in the world.
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00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,960
[chuckles] "What color
shall we make the seats?"
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00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,520
-[Jeremy] Burgundy.
-[Richard] "What about
the dash there?"
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00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:03,320
-[Jeremy] Burgundy.
-[Richard]
"Ooh, good idea."
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00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:06,960
But... the switch,
the button on the end
of the cruise control stalk...
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00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,080
-[Richard] Burgundy
-[James] ...is burgundy.
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00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,240
[laughter]
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00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:11,320
I was hoping you
wouldn't notice that.
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00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,760
[Jeremy]
Has it fallen off?
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00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,760
Well, I'm gonna
have to admit to
being a bit of a clot.
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00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,440
I was driving here
and I noticed in my mirror
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00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,320
this piece of debris
flying away down the road.
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00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,040
And I actually
thought to myself,
"Do you know what?
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00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,200
That's remarkable.
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00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,280
That piece of debris
is the same burgundy
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00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:28,400
-as my car."
-[laughs]
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00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:29,720
But without
actually thinking,
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00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:31,480
-"I wonder if it
came from it?"
-[Richard] Oh!
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00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:32,960
I tell you what
we should do,
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00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,160
have a game
of Top Trumps.
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00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,240
Engine?
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00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:36,360
-Yes?
-[James] Mm-hmm?
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00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,400
6.6-liter V8.
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00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,640
-Aw, that's cute!
-6.6...
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00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,160
-What? It's not cute--
-What does it use to
drive the car along?
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00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,800
Is that what
starts the engine?
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00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:45,120
Well, how big's
the engine in yours?
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00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,880
[Richard] 7.5.
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00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,040
-[James] 7.5 liters?
-7.5-liter V8!
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00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:50,400
[James] Whooph!
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00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:51,440
Go on!
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00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,080
8.2.
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00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,200
[Richard] Eight?
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00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:55,880
[James] 8.2 liters.
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00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:59,040
This is the biggest V8
ever fitted to a production car.
8.2 liters.
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00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:00,280
[Jeremy] All right, then.
[clears throat]
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00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:01,760
This is more efficient,
obviously.
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00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:02,840
How many horsepower?
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00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:04,760
-Mine?
-Mm-hmm.
128
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,680
[clears throat] Hundred
and ninety.
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00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,200
I don't think
horsepower matters.
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00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:10,720
-How many horsepower?
-One hundred and eighty-one.
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00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,200
-That's it?
-Yes.
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00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,480
-From 6.6 liters.
-[clears throat]
133
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,000
I don't know
how they did that.
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00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:19,560
My seven-and-a-half-liter
V8 lump developed
250 horsepower.
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00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,240
-Two hundred and fifty?
-[Richard] Yeah.
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00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,720
So that's a rocket ship.
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00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:31,080
[Jeremy] Eager to begin
our important journey
of discovery,
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00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:35,080
we fired up
the 10,000-pound Lincoln,
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00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,880
the 17,000-pound Buick
140
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,560
and Mount Burgundy
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00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,040
and set off.
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00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:46,880
This is it.
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00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,960
[rock music playing]
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00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,920
Scottish border.
We're entering McScotland.
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00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:23,560
[Richard] This is
a homecoming for this car
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00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,760
because Mr. Buick
of Buick was Scottish.
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00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:30,960
You're going home!
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00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,240
Jeremy Clarkson,
are you aware
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00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,160
that your car appears to be
talking as it goes along?
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00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,000
[rattling]
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00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,640
[Jeremy]
No, I'm unaware of that.
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00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:58,840
The front bumper is 17 miles
in front of where I'm sitting.
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00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,280
We powered along,
dumbstruck
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00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,120
at what we'd
missed out on
in our childhoods.
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00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,560
I seem to remember
that in 1970,
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00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:17,240
the heater was
an optional extra
in an Austin.
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00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:18,560
The heater was.
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00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:22,320
Whereas this has got
electrically adjustable seats,
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00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,560
electric windows,
electric quarter light,
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00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:28,240
cruise control... I mean,
the Starship Enterprise
didn't have cruise control.
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00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:31,600
I mean, look at this,
automatic climate control.
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00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:34,040
You can set it
on economy settings
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00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,240
or an auto setting,
or bi-level.
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00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,440
I mean, bi-level.
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00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,640
We wouldn't have even
known what that meant.
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00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,240
I mean, if somebody
had showed me a window
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00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:52,920
that moved about using
electricity in the 1970s,
168
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,960
I'd have fainted.
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00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,520
Check out my lights!
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00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:01,720
I've got garage doors
for my headlights.
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00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,520
What would my childhood
have been like
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00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:06,480
if I'd wafted about
in the back of
one of these
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00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:09,280
instead of a Ford Anglia
with a hole in the floor?
174
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,760
My dad would have
been my absolute hero.
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00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,200
I'd have had a bright
and sunny outlook.
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00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:16,760
Yeah...
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00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:22,440
[Jeremy] As we approached
the outskirts of Edinburgh,
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00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,760
we were honored with
the traditional local welcome.
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00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:31,200
McRaining now.
That's predictable.
We've been in Scotland
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00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,320
for, what, 20 minutes?
181
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:37,560
Presumably
the Scottish police can't say
"You're nicked, sunshine"
182
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,520
because nobody would know
what that meant.
183
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:41,040
[laughs]
184
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,480
[squeaking]
185
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:49,040
Not good.
The news is not good.
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00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:52,040
[Jeremy] We then
decided to head
for the city center
187
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,520
to see how our cars
would cope
188
00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,760
with the steep
and narrow cobbled streets.
189
00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:10,640
Wait a minute.
190
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,240
Oh, my God!
191
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,040
[gears grinding]
192
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,600
This cannot be done.
193
00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:29,760
The issues with
my bovine differential
soon caused another problem.
194
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,640
[Richard] That's me.
That's me boiling over.
195
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,720
Chaps, I am
boiling over.
196
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:51,800
[Jeremy] Crikey.
It's like John in Mongolia.
197
00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,040
After I'd finally
conquered the hill,
198
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:57,520
Hammond topped up
with some precious
Scottish water.
199
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,920
And wondering how
Frank Cannon ever
solved anything,
200
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:08,040
we resumed our journey
through the city center.
201
00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:16,480
[Jeremy] Oh, God above.
You see what's ahead
of us here?
202
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,960
Yep. Right.
203
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,400
Mm, that is a bit
bum-squeaky there, Clarkson.
204
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:28,120
[man speaking indistinctly]
205
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,560
How close am I
to that wall?
206
00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:33,280
About that.
207
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,600
[Jeremy] Um,
right, I'm going to admit,
208
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:40,000
my car's a little bit
too big for Edinburgh.
209
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,480
I think we can
put this down
210
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:44,160
to Edinburgh's fault
rather than the cars.
211
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,640
[Jeremy] No chance.
212
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,680
What if...
we temporarily
move this bin?
213
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,440
[grunts and groans]
214
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,800
So if I back up now...
215
00:11:58,840 --> 00:11:59,960
-If you back up now...
-Yes.
216
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,160
...you can swing around,
you can just push...
217
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,000
-Mine's boiling!
-Oh, sh... It is.
218
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,600
[James] Oh dear, oh dear.
219
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,920
[Richard] Oh, no.
220
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,200
[Jeremy] It's singing
the song of death.
221
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:11,680
[Richard] Oh. Oh.
222
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,920
[radiator humming loudly]
223
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,400
Stand back.
224
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:19,400
[hums the same note
as Richard's car radiator]
225
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:25,440
[Jeremy] Leaving Hammond
to scour Scotland
for more water,
226
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,880
I squeezed through the gap
227
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:31,360
and went off
to get us all
a zesty drink.
228
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:38,880
Wooph.
229
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:51,640
Right. All right,
what's happened here,
is my door
230
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:54,560
is stopping
my door opening.
231
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:58,560
How's that happened?
Why is it doing this to me?
232
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:09,800
How did Frank Cannon get in?
I can't get in.
[grunts and groans]
233
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,560
[woman laughing]
234
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,920
Smooth. [groans]
235
00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:18,640
Beautiful.
236
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,120
Yeah, it was because we...
It wasn't blocking the step...
237
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,080
Yeah, but that was...
It was further
along that way.
238
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,800
-Was it?
-That was further back
and this was... Yeah...
239
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,360
I think the other one
was in front of this one.
240
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,240
-Oh, just put it
that way and...
-It was.
241
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,120
How am I gonna...
242
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:33,440
I can't...
243
00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,520
Oh, sh...
244
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,880
The whole end
has come off.
245
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:43,760
[sighs]
246
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:49,960
Having established
that American cars
247
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,240
do have some issues
in city centers,
248
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:56,040
we headed back
to a three-lane highway.
249
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,320
Whoa!
Cool bridge with mist.
Look at that!
250
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:16,800
And soon we arrived
at the location for
our second test.
251
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,800
Scotland's Nurburgring.
252
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:26,960
It's Brickyard, it's Monza.
253
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,040
The fearsome Knockhill.
254
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,640
The idea is very simple.
255
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:38,920
We shall use a Scottish car
to set a benchmark time
round the track
256
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:43,680
and then we'll try
and beat it in our two-door
V8 sports coupes.
257
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:48,000
The only problem we have
is which Scottish car
shall we use?
258
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,600
The rear-engine
911-style Imp?
259
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,000
The Talbot? The Avenger?
260
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:59,480
The AC three-liter ME?
Or perhaps the little Scamp?
261
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:03,160
It's a smorgasbord
of excellence, that is.
It really is.
262
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:11,160
After much head-scratching,
we settled on the hot Hillman.
263
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:15,200
And strapped an old friend
into the driving seat.
264
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,760
Right, here we go.
It's a flying lap.
This is what we're timing.
265
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:30,280
What we've got here is
a 1.5-liter big-valve engine.
266
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:36,840
Lowered front suspension,
heavy-duty rear suspension,
93 horsepowers.
267
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,560
Top speed?
108 miles an hour.
268
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,280
[James] It needs more gears.
269
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:48,640
-It does!
-[laughter]
270
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:49,920
Yeah, I'd say...
I'd say that's what
it's lacking.
271
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:56,320
That is the cream
of Scottish excellence
in the 1970s.
272
00:15:58,320 --> 00:15:59,560
Here she comes.
273
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:08,240
Abbie crossed the line
with a time of 1:13.98.
274
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,440
And then,
with the stopwatch reset,
275
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:19,720
I unleashed my slab
of Detroit heavy metal.
276
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,880
Building up to cross
the start-finish line,
277
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,440
I'm hoping,
at about 70 miles an hour.
278
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,640
Didn't make it.
Sixty-eight. That'll do.
279
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:33,840
Turning in now.
280
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:36,840
Oh, Christ.
281
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,920
Oh, I've fallen onto
the passenger seat
slightly there.
282
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,040
That's one of the...
Oh, heavens!
283
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,480
I'm now...
284
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:47,760
I'm now rolling through there.
285
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:52,320
Oh, no, I may have
just slightly gone off.
But I'm back on again.
286
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,080
Oh, no, my seat
has collapsed.
287
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,040
Whoa!
288
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:10,560
A lot of...
A lot of lock.
289
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:18,240
Come on. Speed!
Now and power.
290
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,240
75! That was nearly 80!
291
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,440
After this festival
of roll and understeer,
292
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:32,280
we figured James'
8.2-liter Cadillac
would be faster.
293
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:34,800
However...
294
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:43,000
[chuckling] Come on!
295
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:47,040
I can't believe
an engine this big
can bog down.
296
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:51,440
[Jeremy] This issue,
coupled with James'
leisurely cornering style...
297
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,080
It says "brake."
I will follow that advice.
298
00:17:56,880 --> 00:18:00,520
...and his legendary
memory for track layout...
299
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,480
What happens here?
I can't quite remember.
300
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:07,000
...didn't result
in the hottest of laps.
301
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,080
Nice.
302
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:12,000
[Jeremy] So,
with Carroll Shelby's
work done,
303
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,800
it was up to the Buick
to make America great again.
304
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,840
Pulling a mighty
70 miles an hour.
305
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,280
And across
the line to start.
306
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,800
Let's just roll it in.
307
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:33,680
[whooping, laughs]
308
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,000
Ooh, quite a lot
of understeer.
309
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:42,760
It looks like
an American car in the movies,
which is exactly what I wanted.
310
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,160
Ooh, I've... Yeah.
311
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:55,920
[Richard]
With our laps complete,
312
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,240
it was time to see whether
American firepower
313
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,080
had beaten
the Scottish Hillman.
314
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,320
[Jeremy] The time
we have to beat...
315
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,480
-Yes?
-[Jeremy] 1:13.98.
316
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:07,560
Mm-hmm.
317
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,280
-James May...
-Yes?
318
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,800
1:31.99.
319
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:15,720
Seventeen,18 seconds slower
than a Hillman Avenger.
320
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:17,360
And you had...
321
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,720
-nearly seven liters more?
-Yes.
322
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,680
I did it in 1:21.47.
323
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,280
-Oh, dear.
-Richard Hammond...
324
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:25,400
Yes?
325
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:26,920
1...
326
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,000
-18...
-Oh!
327
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,280
...point 77.
328
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:32,960
[James] What does that prove?
329
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,680
Well, it's interesting.
I thought mine would be
faster than that.
330
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,360
I didn't think mine
would be faster.
331
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:38,920
Well, you weren't
driving very quickly.
332
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,200
Well, it's as quickly
as it would go.
333
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:41,640
And it's a comfortable...
It's just comfortable.
334
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,520
You've got one dial in your car
which is a speedometer.
335
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,560
-Yes.
-Which is the one thing
you don't need.
336
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:47,680
-[chuckles]
-Yes.
337
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,520
Well, so the car
doesn't need it.
338
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:50,880
[Richard] Not interested
in that one!
339
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,280
But what I find funny,
340
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,960
it is the first track I think
you've ever driven around
341
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,600
extensively
and not hit anything.
342
00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:59,200
-[James] Yes!
-God, I didn't.
343
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,720
And your car is
the correct way up.
I think we can all...
344
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,160
-Thank you.
-We can all applaud that.
345
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,520
Ladies and gentlemen,
Richard Hammond.
346
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,760
Many years we've done this
and... I'm delighted to...
347
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:10,040
Normally, a paramedic
would now be cutting off
his trousers...
348
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,280
-[Richard] Yeah.
-...and he'd be going
to the hospital--
349
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:14,560
-[imitates ambulance]
-I'd be on the phone
to his wife,
350
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,320
-"Hi, Mindy.
Yeah, I know, I..."
-Again.
351
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:18,560
-"He's done it again."
-[phone pings]
352
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,040
Oh.
353
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,560
A text from Mr. Wilman.
354
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,960
Um... "Apparently
there's some kind of
virus going round."
355
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,560
-Oh, no, so...
-Well, where's he been?
356
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,160
Somebody's let him
see a newspaper again,
haven't they?
357
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:31,280
[Jeremy laughs]
358
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,760
It is dangerous
when he reads the news.
359
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:34,800
Oh...
360
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:38,360
"You are not able to
stay in a hotel this evening.
361
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:42,800
I have therefore found you
alternative accommodation
at the track."
362
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:44,680
Where?
363
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,800
Oh, dear...
364
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,640
[Richard] It might be fun,
a bit of caravanning.
365
00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,960
[Jeremy]
Once we'd settled in,
366
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:12,480
we sat down to
a traditional Scottish dinner
prepared by our resident chef.
367
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,680
-[Richard] What is it?
-[James] Pork chop. That's...
368
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,360
-What's that there?
-That's peas.
369
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:20,440
What's this?
370
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,080
That's a carrot...
I think.
371
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,280
-Well, thank you very much...
-What, a deep-fried carrot?
372
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:25,520
-Yes.
-This isn't a carrot!
373
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:26,760
It's a sausage!
374
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,400
Oh, it's... Oh,
maybe it is a sausage.
375
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:29,880
There was a sausage
in there somewhere.
376
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,160
[muffled] Mm.
All right, isn't it?
377
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,360
I can feel myself
getting healthier.
378
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:36,760
-Mm.
-Yeah
379
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,480
-My heart is saying "thank you."
-What are the peas like?
380
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:39,920
-The peas?
-Well, the...
381
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,320
It's a...
It's a unit of peas.
382
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:42,480
[Richard] Oh, yeah.
383
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,080
Well, it makes it
a lot easier to eat.
384
00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:45,800
-It does. Peas
are so difficult to eat...
-Peas fall off, yeah.
385
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,960
...but when you
deep-fry them like this...
386
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:51,600
It brings out
the sweetness of the peas.
387
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,320
[Jeremy] After dinner was over
and we'd been sick,
388
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:58,680
we decided to
watch some motorsport
on Mr. Wilman's laptop.
389
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,880
How many has he ordered?
Ooh, that's never gonna fit.
390
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:07,040
Then... Have you noticed?
This is his keyboard,
Mr. Wilman's.
391
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:10,880
Look at the A,
worn down, the N
392
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:12,680
and the L.
393
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,320
Maybe he's been emailing
his friend Alan a lot.
394
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:18,840
[laughs]
395
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,360
Right!
396
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,160
[Jeremy] Anyway,
I know a lot of people
watching will think
397
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:26,040
that it was stupid to put
our big Yank tanks,
398
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:29,440
um, on a European circuit
against a European car.
399
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,440
Obviously the European car
was gonna be faster.
400
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,280
-Not so...
-There is history with this.
401
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,800
There is. And actually,
the marvelous thing is,
402
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:40,400
at Goodwood race track,
they still run races
using the cars...
403
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,040
-Yeah. And look at it...
-[Jeremy] ...from the '60s.
And here we go.
404
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,240
There's every different
type of car here.
405
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:46,840
You've got the big
Studebaker there.
406
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,840
[James] That's a heavy thing.
407
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,360
[Jeremy] That's a Ford Galaxy.
408
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:52,920
And then you've got
a Lotus Cortina.
409
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,560
Two Lotus Cortinas.
You've got Minis.
410
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,240
And the racing
is just breathtaking.
411
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:03,200
[Richard] Look at it!
412
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:07,480
[Jeremy] Look at
that four-wheel drift
in the Lotus Cortina.
413
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,920
So those Lotus Cortinas,
they had 130 horsepower?
414
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:12,600
-[Richard] Yeah.
-[Jeremy] What did
the Galaxy have?
415
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:14,400
Four hundred
and twenty-five! [chuckles]
416
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:17,320
[Jeremy] Four hundred
and twenty-five?
And you can see plain as day.
417
00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:19,120
There we go. Ready.
418
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,000
[Richard] He's just
coming up against
this great slab of Galaxy.
419
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:22,720
-"Can I get through?"
-[Jeremy] And it is...
"No, I can't."
420
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,120
[Richard] Look at it go!
He's gone!
421
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:25,880
[Jeremy] He's just gone
'cause he's got more power.
422
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:27,560
[Richard] And then
he closes up again
'cause there's another corner.
423
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,760
"Right,
I'm gonna have another go.
I'm gonna keep scrapping."
424
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,200
And then as soon as
it opens out, he's gone.
425
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,040
-[Jeremy] And then now--
-[Richard] Just solid gone.
426
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,200
Look, American cars,
is what I'm trying to say,
427
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:39,440
American cars
like ours aren't
428
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:40,920
-necessarily slower...
-No.
429
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:43,440
[Jeremy] ...round a track
than European cars,
430
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:44,720
'cause they're faster
on the straight.
431
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:46,320
[all] Oh!
432
00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:47,640
[Richard]
There's a Mini!
There's a Mini!
433
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,840
That's about 130 horsepower,
that's all he's got!
434
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:52,280
[all laugh]
435
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:57,800
That is a Terrier at a Doberman.
425 horsepower versus 130!
436
00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:59,120
Look, there he goes again.
Yeah, and a wave, yeah!
437
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:00,480
-He's actually waving to him.
-[laughs]
438
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:07,440
[Jeremy] The next morning
we were told
439
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,400
that due to the COVID issues,
440
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:14,400
we'd have to take
our caravans with us.
441
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:18,160
So, while a man
fitted the towbars,
442
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:24,280
we set about making them
as stylish as our cars.
443
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,040
What I've done to
bring out and enhance
444
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:37,440
the Americanness of my rig
is turn my caravan into...
445
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,960
well, the most American
and the only cool
caravan ever built.
446
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,040
It's an Airstream.
447
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,960
Look at that! Yeah!
448
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,800
I've gone for
the low-rider look.
449
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,320
This is a sleek rig.
It is big, though.
450
00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:06,800
One foot longer
than a London bus.
But less sporty.
451
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,960
You got to admit,
it's pretty retro-brilliant.
452
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:16,520
No, it looks like a caravan
covered in tin foil
for no obvious reason.
453
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,040
He really is
a deluded little man,
isn't he?
454
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,000
Now, I've had
the best idea here, viewers,
455
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:26,640
because the problem
with caravans is that
they are unsightly.
456
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,280
They all park
together in a field.
457
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:30,040
They're all a load
of white boxes.
458
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:31,640
It looks like
a load of Tupperware.
459
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:36,520
So, I've painted mine
black and white
and given it an udder.
460
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,080
[laughs]
461
00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:44,920
It does indeed
have "a" udder!
462
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,480
[laughs]
463
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,440
With our massive crew convoy
bringing up the rear,
464
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:05,560
we soldiered on
through the constant
Caledonian downpour.
465
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:15,600
Uh, can we stop for fuel soon?
I'm getting a bit low.
466
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,160
Um, I don't know how
you used it up on the track,
467
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,240
but yes, we shall find
"an" petrol station.
468
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,200
Oh, this has got
very Scottish!
469
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,600
Oh, it's...
it's really cold,
really cold now.
470
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:35,800
[Richard] Yeah.
471
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,680
[Jeremy] Having established
he'd been doing
472
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:41,120
a polar-bear-friendly
eight miles to the gallon,
473
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:44,200
James announced it was time
for his morning ablutions,
474
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:48,600
which meant he had to
put his car in the car park.
475
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,760
I need to go
that way with that arm.
476
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,080
That one goes that way,
or something like that.
477
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,520
[Jeremy]
What is he doing?
478
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,800
How has he managed
to get it so far... [laughs]
479
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:10,480
In his defense,
it is quite a tight car park.
480
00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:14,520
Having decided
that was good enough,
481
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:17,120
James went off
to do his business.
482
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,160
And we settled down
to our customary wait.
483
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:26,720
I lose about an hour a day
waiting for him to have his...
484
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:28,240
Got time for
a roast dinner, mate.
485
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:29,880
By the time
he's read The Telegraph,
done the crossword.
486
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:31,720
And if he does
the crossword.
487
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,360
Yeah, I'd say
you've got an hour.
488
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:41,560
What?
489
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,880
This is brilliant.
490
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:51,520
[pants]
491
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,960
[Jeremy] Why do they use
such long hoses
in fire engines?
492
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,520
Well, in case the fire's
a long way away.
493
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,680
[grunts with exertion]
494
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,320
Right. [grunts]
495
00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:05,800
Oh, this is...
[squeals with excitement]
496
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:07,600
We could always tell him
that the roof seal
497
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:08,680
-was leaking.
-[Jeremy] Yes.
498
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:11,840
Yes.
499
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:14,320
[Jeremy] If you've just
joined us,
500
00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:17,160
it's a difficult story
to unpack.
501
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,840
Right now he's
probably on three-down.
502
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:21,920
You know when
they used to shout "Scramble!"
in the war?
503
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,000
-Yes.
-No.
504
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:24,360
Oh, can you
imagine if he was
505
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:25,520
-a Hurricane pilot?
-No.
506
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,560
[Jeremy] I reckon
you're about there, Hammond.
507
00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:33,600
[pants with exertion]
508
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:38,920
We assumed James wouldn't
discover our mischief
until he drove off.
509
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:42,720
However, we didn't
have to wait that long.
510
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,160
[laughing]
511
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,440
[chuckling] He's got
to be cross!
512
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:02,000
[James] Jesus!
513
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,240
[Jeremy] The roof light
was open on your caravan.
514
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,640
-[Richard] Yeah.
-[James] You're so funny.
515
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,560
Well, while I admire your
ingenuity and your application,
516
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:20,920
that was a low blow
on a day like this.
517
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:24,360
I was already wet.
And you could have taken
my personal effects out.
518
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:28,680
Isn't it funny how three people
can have very different views
of the same thing?
519
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:31,480
I thought it was
a really good idea.
520
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,720
Mm. Same here.
521
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,480
And most of
your personal effects
were rubber anyway.
522
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:39,680
[laughs]
523
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:44,120
Oh, God, it's dripping water.
How can my windscreen
be leaking?
524
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,080
Like I give a toss.
525
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,000
[laughs] Ooh!
526
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:58,000
[Jeremy] A few miles later,
we turned off the main road,
527
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,040
heading for the remote
center of Scotland
528
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,800
to do some scientific research.
529
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,600
Now, yes, we do like our cars.
530
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:09,800
They're charismatic
and they're interesting.
531
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,040
And James and Richard
currently own American cars.
532
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:13,360
They've both got Teslas.
533
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,240
But we are not
suggesting for a minute
534
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:19,120
that all American cars are good
because they're not.
535
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:21,880
Some of them are terrible.
536
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:26,200
And what we're doing now
is plunging deep into
the Scottish countryside
537
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:29,320
to conduct
an important experiment,
which is this...
538
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,840
Who made the worst cars,
539
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:35,840
the Soviet Union
or the Americans?
540
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:51,360
Representing the Soviet Union,
we have the FSO Polonez 1.6,
541
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:57,040
the Lada Riva 1200
and the Zastava GTL 55.
542
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,120
And representing
the United States in America,
543
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:04,600
we have the Chrysler Voyager,
the Chrysler PT Cruiser,
544
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:10,000
which is making me feel sick,
and the Pontiac Aztek.
545
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,000
What we're gonna do
is have a race
around this field,
546
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:15,120
us three
in the American cars
547
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:20,160
and three of our most junior,
and therefore expendable,
researchers in the Soviet cars.
548
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:21,560
Rules are simple,
549
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,160
the first one out
is the winner.
550
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:25,320
[James] Hang on,
you got that wrong.
551
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:26,840
What?
552
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:28,240
It's not the first...
"The first one out
is the winner"?
553
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:30,120
-That doesn't make sense.
-Yes, it does.
554
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,320
[Jeremy] No,
there's no motor race in history
where the first one out won it.
555
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:33,840
No, we're trying
to find the worst car.
556
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:37,280
The worst car will be
the first one to conk out.
557
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:38,480
-Oh.
-Oh, no, actually...
558
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:39,760
-[Richard] Yeah.
-He's got a point, hasn't he?
559
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,640
[James] Then the loser
is the winner.
560
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:43,880
-Yes.
-[James] Got it.
561
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:44,960
-[Jeremy] Right.
-Good.
562
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,320
[Richard] And so,
under a blanket
of light drizzle,
563
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:57,680
the Cold War shootout began.
564
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,880
This, viewers,
is the world's first
minivan, in fact.
565
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,280
But the most important thing
you need to know about it
566
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:22,280
is that in the Euro NCAP
Frontal Collision Test,
567
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:26,280
it scored... Where's
the gear stick? Zero.
568
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:33,040
[Jeremy] The only people
who bought these Cruisers
were those people
569
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,520
that you find in offices
with a sign
on their desk saying,
570
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,920
"You don't have to be mad
to work here, but it helps."
571
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:47,640
I've got a 3.4-liter V6,
185 brake horsepower.
572
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,760
And that's the end
of the good news.
573
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,760
Everything else about
this car is disgusting.
574
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:02,240
At its launch in 2000,
they unveiled the first car
575
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:05,480
and the audience
gasped and then laughed!
576
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:11,840
When Walter White
in Breaking Badwas given
one of these to drive,
577
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,520
the car was as carefully cast
as the actor.
578
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,080
They wanted to
show him as a loser.
579
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,880
And nothing says "loser"
better than a Pontiac Aztek.
580
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:22,360
Ha-ha! Lada!
581
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,840
[James] I then decided
that to win this race
582
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:33,720
I'd have to hit other cars,
and hope I came off worst.
583
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:37,080
Here I go.
584
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:41,880
Oh, shit!
Didn't quite do it.
585
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:48,040
And soon, my colleagues
had the same idea.
586
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:49,240
Have some of this.
587
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,800
Hammond trying to
smash the Aztek up.
588
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:58,720
It's impossible to tell,
such is the styling.
589
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:00,800
I must somehow ram
into the Aztek
590
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:04,840
in such a way,
I break my own car.
591
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:09,040
Here it comes!
It's an accident! Here it is!
592
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:11,960
[laughing]
593
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,080
[Jeremy] Oh, no,
the PT Cruiser is alive!
594
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:20,600
[Jeremy] I continued
throwing myself
at the heavy Aztek
595
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:30,480
until I achieved
the exact opposite
of what I wanted.
596
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:34,440
[Richard] Oh! Oh!
It died. Uh-oh.
597
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:37,880
It is, I believe,
quite definitely
on fire now.
598
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:39,520
Gentlemen, we may have
a winner.
599
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:42,320
[Jeremy] Oh, no. No!
600
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:43,800
[Richard] Yes!
601
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,200
Yes!
602
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:53,120
[Jeremy] It then became
a fight to the death
for second place.
603
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,920
[James] Little commie bastard!
604
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,160
[Jeremy] Target acquired.
605
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,280
Accident!
606
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:07,360
And soon, I got
the wrong result again.
607
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:11,480
No!
608
00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:16,000
No!
609
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,160
He's broken. [groans]
610
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:25,440
[blows raspberry]
That was a bad one.
611
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:27,680
[Jeremy] Why is
my car still working?
612
00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:30,960
We all know this is
the worst thing
ever made by man.
613
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,120
Come on, take me.
Take me out.
614
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,040
That FSO is solid.
615
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,680
Yes! That's more like it.
616
00:35:42,720 --> 00:35:44,840
Ooh. That's a big hit.
617
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:48,160
But yet again...
618
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:53,920
Is that the FSO down?
The FSO down and out?
619
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:55,760
This is a disaster!
620
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,320
And to make things worse...
621
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:03,840
[James] No, May cocks it up.
622
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:09,120
[Jeremy] Now just James
and I were left.
623
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:15,200
The two Chryslers
fighting it out for
the honor of last place.
624
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:18,920
Both cars were now too damaged
to catch one another.
625
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,200
So it was a case
of waiting to see...
626
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:24,800
who would die first.
627
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:29,280
Break! Break!
628
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:33,160
Catch fire! Roll over!
I don't care! Just break!
629
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:36,520
That bonger
is the temperature.
I'm down on power.
630
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:38,160
Yes, I'm boiling.
631
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:41,640
I think I'm boiling over.
Any minute now,
the engine will seize.
632
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:44,920
[James] I seem
to have lost third gear,
633
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:46,640
which was the most
useful one round here.
634
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:51,840
Now the gear changes.
No, I think I've had it.
635
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:58,160
No! But my... Look at my
temperature gauge! No!
636
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:03,480
No, it can't be.
No, I won't have this.
637
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:06,560
Are you out or are you
just making it up?
638
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,040
No, I'm out.
639
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,640
[Jeremy] No, it's...
I wanted this to be
the worst car.
640
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:11,760
-Yes.
-And it says
641
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,520
that this has
actually come last.
642
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:16,680
It's the sixth
worst car ever made.
643
00:37:16,720 --> 00:37:18,280
Hang on, is that the...
I forgot the rules.
644
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,160
-Yes, that's the way it is.
-Yes, you've won,
so you've lost.
645
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,920
I know. I'm still running,
therefore I've lost.
But look at that...
646
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:27,120
[Jeremy] Rather than
spend an hour re-explaining
the rules to James,
647
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:30,920
we declared the Aztek
the winner,
648
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:36,720
and with Hammond navigating,
set off back to the A9.
649
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:40,800
Right, we're looking
for a bloody big road.
650
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:44,280
[Jeremy] However,
before we even
realized we were lost,
651
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:49,000
my Lincoln started to do
what the PT Cruiser wouldn't.
652
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:51,120
Why is my engine...
653
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:54,560
I'm misfiring badly now
going up this hill.
654
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:55,960
Come on.
655
00:37:57,720 --> 00:38:01,400
Come on, car, please.
656
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,440
[Jeremy] We therefore
pulled into a farmyard
657
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,640
so I could make
some repairs.
658
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,040
I'm gonna have a look
at my carb-u-rettor.
659
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:14,320
As I broke out
my extensive tool kit,
660
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:16,920
James went off
to put the kettle on.
661
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:19,520
-A cup of tea?
-Thank you.
662
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:20,720
Would you like
a... What?
663
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,120
-That's very nice.
-I've gotta say...
664
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:23,680
Would you like
a soft biscuit?
665
00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:25,240
-...that works.
-It does.
666
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:26,520
What works?
667
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:27,960
[Richard] Well, exactly.
668
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,080
[James] Oh!
That's my caravan.
669
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:31,760
That's so much better.
670
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:36,840
[Jeremy] Eventually,
my repairs were complete.
671
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:40,080
Broken.
672
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:43,160
Oh, that could
keep you occupied
for hours.
673
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:45,680
Why won't it go on?
That's ridiculous.
674
00:38:45,720 --> 00:38:47,920
The last thing I knew
was I was in my 30s.
675
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:49,520
-Yeah.
-Late 30s, admittedly.
676
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:51,920
And then suddenly,
I'm standing in a field
still watching...
677
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:53,520
How's this possible?
678
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,920
[laughs]
679
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:57,560
Ah, this is brilliant.
680
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:00,400
-Yeah!
-[Richard] Ah! Wow!
681
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:02,080
What a sense
of achievement.
682
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:04,400
-[Jeremy]
Now, the next thing is...
-[Richard] Where do we go.
683
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:06,480
-[Jeremy] No mobile
phone signal.
-No.
684
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,160
We've gotta find the A9.
685
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,440
-Mm. Mm.
-It...
686
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,560
One thing you
can't do in Scotland
is navigate using the sun.
687
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:17,880
-No.
-No.
688
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:19,680
[Richard] You can't
navigate by clouds, they move.
689
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:23,400
How about getting...
690
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:27,760
[Jeremy] Having decided
to go for that option,
691
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,160
I had a couple
of small accidents.
692
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:36,160
Oh, God.
693
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:39,920
[Jeremy] But soon,
we were back on the move,
694
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:44,160
with Pathfinder Hammond
once again on point.
695
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,280
Any minute now,
there'll be a T-junction,
696
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:50,560
and then a...
a small road
rather than a track,
697
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:51,880
and then a big road.
698
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,800
Then, all of that
didn't happen.
699
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:02,640
There's a hole.
700
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,920
Hammond's just brought us
on a rally special stage
by the looks of it.
701
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,040
Ow! Ow! Ow!
702
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,840
[Richard] Is this the A9?
703
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:22,720
[Jeremy] No.
704
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:26,800
No speed cameras on it.
That's how you know
it's not the A9.
705
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:29,560
Oh! No! Shit.
706
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:33,280
What?
707
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:40,120
[James chuckling]
I'm sorry! That was hilarious!
708
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:44,240
[Jeremy] So, ladies and
gentlemen, what is missing from
this picture?
709
00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:45,480
It was just epic!
710
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:46,960
I've never seen
anything like it!
711
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,440
-What, the towbar's
come off?
-Yeah.
712
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:50,240
The towbar
has come off.
713
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,080
[Richard] Oh, dear. That's...
714
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,440
[Jeremy] If you put that
in a Tom and Jerrycartoon,
it would be absurd.
715
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:56,640
-[laughs]
-What if that had
happened on the A9?
716
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:58,760
Well, that, you'd have
there'd have been shouting.
717
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:00,840
But where am I
gonna sleep tonight?
718
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:04,080
There. That's where
your caravan is.
719
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:06,640
[Jeremy] We decided
to abandon my caravan
720
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:11,840
and resumed our journey,
behind Richard Blomquist.
721
00:41:17,720 --> 00:41:20,200
So he's driving up a mountain
and he thinks
722
00:41:20,240 --> 00:41:22,800
he's going to find
the A9 at the top
of it, does he?
723
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:24,400
Oh. Oh.
724
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:30,280
Good slapper, Hammond.
725
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,360
[Richard] The tail's wagging
the dog a little bit here.
726
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,760
Ooh. Yeah.
727
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:38,120
Oh! Oh, dear, oh, dear,
something's gone wrong.
728
00:41:41,240 --> 00:41:42,280
Um...
729
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:44,840
Ooh.
730
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,640
-[Jeremy] Were you driving
too quickly on a gravel track?
-[Richard] Yes.
731
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:52,640
I can't help it.
Gravel track...
732
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:54,680
Well, if you
undo yourself...
733
00:41:54,720 --> 00:41:55,960
Yeah, he's done that.
734
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,000
-Are you...
Are you undone?
-Yeah.
735
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:01,520
So that... Yeah.
736
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,560
If you get yourself
out, Hammond...
737
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:06,040
-[Richard] Yeah? Ooh. No!
-[Jeremy] There you go.
738
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:07,160
[Richard] No!
739
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:08,640
[Jeremy] Oh, that's worked.
740
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,320
[Richard] Well,
I've unhitched it.
741
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,520
You're... you're free...
Your car will get out now.
742
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:26,800
It's stuck.
743
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:30,520
[Richard chuckling]
It's sitting on
the fuel tank! Look!
744
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:33,600
So here's the situation,
we've got one caravan
left and it's soggy.
745
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:35,560
Damp, yes, very.
746
00:42:37,240 --> 00:42:40,360
We aren't allowed
to stay in a hotel,
even if we could find one.
747
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:41,640
[James] Which we won't.
748
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:43,440
[Jeremy] Mm.
749
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:51,240
What if...
we stay in a castle?
750
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,040
There isn't a rule that says
you can't stay in a castle,
is there?
751
00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:55,640
But there isn't a castle.
752
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:58,160
Well, we're in Scotland.
There'll be one in 300 meters.
753
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:00,000
It doesn't require...
There are...
754
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,200
And they're all empty
'cause nobody's allowed
to use their second homes.
755
00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:04,160
And castles
are always second homes.
756
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:05,920
Unless you're part
of the Royal Family.
757
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:07,480
The fact is,
you could be
onto something.
758
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,040
All we've gotta do
is find a castle.
759
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:11,080
Find a castle.
760
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:12,560
[James] With that decided,
761
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,520
we got Hammond
out of the ditch...
762
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,600
...and went in search
of a castle.
763
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,640
[Jeremy] James May,
I never thought
I'd say this to you,
764
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:34,280
but your udder
has come off.
765
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:36,400
[James] Don't ever
say that to me again.
766
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:40,440
[Jeremy] The terrain
was very rough.
767
00:43:41,240 --> 00:43:42,800
[James] Bollocks.
768
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:44,520
[Jeremy] What the hell?
769
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:52,600
[Richard] Oh, brilliant.
770
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:58,920
I've done some
damage underneath.
771
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,600
[Jeremy] But mercifully,
after just two miles...
772
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:18,440
we did find what
we were looking for.
773
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:35,280
Yeah. This is ideal.
774
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:42,680
[Jeremy] We settled
down for the night
in someone else's castle,
775
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:49,160
and the next morning,
having admired their view,
776
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:56,560
James scuttled off
to the kitchen to deploy
his cooking skills again.
777
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:03,320
It's a deconstructed
and deep-fried kedgeree,
in effect.
778
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:07,120
So you have a kipper,
a rice ball and an egg.
779
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:08,960
All deep-fried?
780
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:10,520
All deep-fried. Enjoy.
781
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:11,640
I am intrigued.
782
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:13,800
[Jeremy] Um... marvelous.
Well done, you.
783
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:17,920
Now, our job
on this mission,
as you know,
784
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:20,880
was... Mm.
785
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:22,920
Mm-hmm.
786
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:25,160
-Mm.
-What?
787
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:26,960
Well, it's...
interesting flavors.
788
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:28,280
That's challenging.
789
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:29,800
[James] The kipper's
good, though, isn't it?
790
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,120
I like kippers
and I like batter.
791
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:34,560
Yeah, I love kippers.
I love batter.
792
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:36,920
I also like marshmallow
and a nice pencil.
793
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:38,240
-[Jeremy laughs]
-[James] Yeah.
794
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:40,320
But I don't want them all
in one big congealed lump.
795
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:41,760
[Jeremy] Now,
I've been thinking.
796
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,320
Our job on this was not
to steal somebody's house...
797
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:46,840
[clears throat] and deep-fry
everything we could find.
798
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:48,360
Um...
799
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:51,360
it was to work out
why American cars
800
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:53,520
-haven't... or never
caught on.
-Yes.
801
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:57,080
This scale
of not catching on...
in the 1970s,
802
00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:01,040
we in the UK bought
nine-and-a-few
thousand... [sniffs]
803
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:04,000
US-built cars, nine-and-a-bit
thousand, okay?
804
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:08,880
We bought 2,47,000
Soviet-made cars.
805
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:11,960
A big contributor
to the success of
Soviet cars in Britain
806
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:13,680
was the, uh,
People's Republic
of South Yorkshire.
807
00:46:13,720 --> 00:46:16,280
Well, it was. It was mainly
where people bought Ladas.
808
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:17,480
Yeah.
809
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:19,200
[Jeremy] And what have
we established so far?
810
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:21,400
That we like our cars...
811
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:22,720
I love my car.
812
00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:24,480
[Jeremy] Love them,
but they are flawed.
813
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:26,760
-Quite big.
-Very, very, very big.
814
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,360
Yeah, quite difficult
to maneuver in
many parts of Britain.
815
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:31,800
Yes. And yours
is very unreliable.
816
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:32,960
It's flamboyant.
817
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,040
But that's our cars.
We've also established
818
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:38,680
that slightly smaller cars,
such as the PT Cruiser...
819
00:46:38,720 --> 00:46:40,240
[clears throat]
and the Aztek and so on,
820
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:43,480
the worst cars, amongst
the worst cars ever made.
821
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:45,000
Hateful garbage.
822
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:48,400
But here's the thing,
we must never forget
823
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:52,240
America also made
some absolute corkers.
824
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:54,480
[rock music playing]
825
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:57,800
[Jeremy] Inspired by
this back catalogue,
826
00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:00,040
we chose our favorite
muscle cars,
827
00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:05,520
and then used them
to go for something else
828
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:07,520
that America populized.
829
00:48:08,240 --> 00:48:09,720
A pizza.
830
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:13,280
But you... I still say
you can have pineapple on it.
831
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:14,400
-You can't.
-With ham.
832
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:15,680
-No, you can't have.
-A Sloppy Giuseppe,
833
00:48:15,720 --> 00:48:16,720
-that's what you
have to have...
-No, with ham.
834
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:17,880
-Ooh, God!
-No, no pineapple...
835
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:19,280
I've just remembered
something.
836
00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:20,840
You know my mate, John?
837
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:22,880
Everyone calls him Tramp.
838
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:24,400
He's invited us
839
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:26,480
for a perfectly
straightforward
shooting weekend.
840
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:27,600
When?
841
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:31,400
Well, we've gotta
be there in 37 minutes.
842
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:36,840
What? Pizza Express
to Tramp's in 37 minutes?
That's not possible.
843
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:39,000
Or is it?
844
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:02,760
There have been a great many
fabulous muscle cars
over the years,
845
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:04,720
but this is my favorite,
the Mustang.
846
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:16,480
The Mustang was
the fastest-selling car
of all time.
847
00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:18,680
A record that's
never been beaten.
848
00:49:18,720 --> 00:49:23,400
They sold 22,000
on the first day!
849
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:26,560
This particular example,
the GT500,
850
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:28,680
built in 1967,
851
00:49:28,720 --> 00:49:32,560
and I cannot think of
any car that suits the mood
852
00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:35,000
of the moment more perfectly.
853
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:42,000
Color television
has just arrived.
854
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:45,800
The Apollo space program
was just beginning.
855
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:51,120
We were all listening to
Sgt. Pepper and Fleetwood Mac
and Jimi Hendrix.
856
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:55,840
But in America, the family man
could buy a seven-liter Mustang!
857
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:07,680
This, viewers, is a 1969
Chevrolet Camaro Z/28.
858
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:13,120
It was Chevrolet's
response to the Mustang,
859
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:15,680
which they thought
was a bit slabby.
860
00:50:15,720 --> 00:50:19,520
So they came up with
something more curvaceous.
861
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:22,840
This muscle car feels
particularly agricultural.
862
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:25,240
We imagine that
the Americans didn't
realize that.
863
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:27,000
But I think they did.
864
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:30,400
I think they knew
and they just thought,
"Well, sod it. It's a laugh."
865
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:34,640
That's what was great
about America in those days.
866
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:39,440
Optimism, hope,
unashamed consumption.
867
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:45,480
Britain, of course,
saw the Mustang
868
00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:48,360
and all the cars it inspired,
such as this one, and thought,
869
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:49,600
"Yeah, we'll have
a go at that,"
870
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:52,920
and gave us the Capri,
871
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:57,200
which was available
with a 1.3-liter engine.
872
00:50:57,240 --> 00:50:59,400
Why were we so meek?
873
00:51:07,240 --> 00:51:08,840
The Dodge Charger,
874
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:12,760
one of my
all-time favorite cars
and one of the greats.
875
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:16,240
Specifically this 1968
second-generation version
876
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:19,040
ofBullitt
andDukes of Hazzard fame.
877
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:21,920
I mean, just look at it,
it screams "legend."
878
00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:25,560
The Charger was aimed
at young people specifically,
879
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:28,560
which today would mean
"make it so small and bland
880
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:32,000
as to be invisible
and give it the engine
from a pencil sharpener."
881
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,200
Back then it meant
"give it a huge V8,
882
00:51:34,240 --> 00:51:36,680
bonnet scoops
and flared haunches."
883
00:51:36,720 --> 00:51:38,120
They were fun!
884
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:46,840
[James] Uh, what is
a perfectly straightforward
shooting weekend anyway?
885
00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:48,720
I've no idea.
886
00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:50,720
I don't think anyone
in the world knows
887
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:53,440
what a perfectly
straightforward
shooting weekend is.
888
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:54,880
They're all different.
889
00:51:55,360 --> 00:51:57,320
Uh-oh. Chaps?
890
00:51:58,720 --> 00:51:59,800
Yes?
891
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:03,280
-Died.
-[car backfires]
892
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:05,560
-[loud bang]
-Oh!
893
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,920
[James] Hammond,
do you mind not doing that?
I've had a heart attack.
894
00:52:10,240 --> 00:52:12,560
It turned out that
a detached brake caliper
895
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:16,440
had broken the wheel,
which had jammed the gearbox,
896
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:19,200
and that caused
the engine to explode.
897
00:52:19,240 --> 00:52:21,080
But since the clock
was running,
898
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:26,120
Jeremy and I had to leave
Britain's unluckiest driver
and press on.
899
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:34,240
This is ridiculous.
900
00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:37,400
It's like driving
to Barnard Castle to see
if your eyesight works.
901
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:48,840
[vehicle beeping]
902
00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:00,200
[Jeremy] But despite this,
we did make it
903
00:53:00,240 --> 00:53:04,800
from Pizza Express
to Tramp's in 37 minutes.
904
00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:09,280
We've made it.
We have made it.
905
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:12,000
Oh, yes.
906
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:16,360
But while we'd
made it on time,
907
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:20,400
there was a problem.
908
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:22,560
I'm not sure
we're blending in terribly well
909
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:25,640
on this perfectly
straightforward
shooting weekend.
910
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:29,000
Well... [sighs]
It could be worse.
911
00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:36,800
-[James] Oh.
-[Jeremy laughs]
912
00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:43,600
What are you wearing?
913
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:46,440
Yeah, I know, I...
I've overdone this.
914
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,880
I am sweating
with embarrassment.
915
00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:52,720
Well, you're lucky.
After what happened
in Argentina, I can't sweat.
916
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:53,960
-Really?
-No.
917
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:55,480
-You can't sweat?
-No, not a thing.
918
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:58,040
This was inspired
by my car.
It's misled me.
919
00:53:58,080 --> 00:53:59,120
[phone pings]
920
00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:02,680
A text from Mr. Wilman.
921
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:06,120
A long one.
922
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:08,840
"You have
finally uncovered
the main problem
923
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:12,600
with owning an American car
in Europe, it's embarrassing."
924
00:54:13,240 --> 00:54:15,200
Mm. [laughs]
925
00:54:15,240 --> 00:54:16,320
We don't blend.
926
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:17,560
It is a bit.
927
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,080
It doesn't fit.
928
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:22,640
"But if there was a community
where American car enthusiasts
929
00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:26,360
could live side by side
with people who shared
their passion,
930
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:28,760
it wouldn't
be embarrassing.
931
00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:31,440
So I've created a small town
in the Outer Hebrides
932
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:33,560
where people can do just that.
933
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:35,600
And that's where
you're headed now."
934
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:38,040
-So, yes, no,
what he's...
-You can actually...
935
00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:41,160
he's thinking a bit like
a sort of a drug-dependency
support group.
936
00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:43,920
You go there knowing that
everybody else is like you.
937
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:46,040
Exactly, every...
'Cause you obviously
turn up here,
938
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:48,040
cars like this,
as we've just done.
939
00:54:48,080 --> 00:54:49,440
Bollocks, isn't it?
940
00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:53,800
People go, "God above, Darren,
Gary and Kevin are here."
941
00:54:55,240 --> 00:54:57,920
But if there was
a community...
942
00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:01,280
We'll be amongst
our own kind.
943
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:03,600
You could say,
"Can I get a burger?"
944
00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:06,520
Yeah. You can have
cheese on everything.
945
00:55:06,560 --> 00:55:09,080
-And a strawberry
on your laundry...
-Yes, strawberry.
946
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:10,680
-[in American accent]
A strawberry.
-You could actually say...
947
00:55:10,720 --> 00:55:12,720
And nobody will look at you
because they're all doing it.
948
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:14,080
-Everyone is
in the same boat.
-It's brilliant.
949
00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:15,480
Well done, Mr. Wilman.
950
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:17,080
That's not
a bad idea, actually.
951
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:18,600
That's... hmm, yes,
that's inspired...
952
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:21,520
And I've just...
I've just thought...
953
00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:24,320
If we're going to this island
where everything's American
954
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:27,520
and everybody drives
an American car,
955
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:31,200
why don't we make
our cars more American?
956
00:55:31,240 --> 00:55:35,200
I know your Cadillac
is as American as
an eagle made of cheese,
957
00:55:35,240 --> 00:55:37,240
but make it more American.
958
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:40,960
We'll modify them,
and then we'll arrive
on the island
959
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,160
in very American cars.
960
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:45,560
He will be so happy.
961
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:47,840
I can only think
of an eagle
made of cheese now.
962
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:49,560
[chortles]
963
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:53,400
[Jeremy] Two days later,
964
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:58,880
we set off on
a 200-mile journey
965
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:05,080
to Mr. Wilman's Hebridean island
in our newly modified cars.
966
00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:12,400
Let me talk you
through what I've done.
967
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:14,760
I focused initially
on repairing things.
968
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:16,480
I've repaired the windscreen
wiper as best I can.
969
00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:19,880
I've used waterless coolant
to try and solve
the overheating problems.
970
00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:23,200
And then... Well, if you
look closely at the front here,
971
00:56:23,240 --> 00:56:24,960
I fitted the massive
supercharger
972
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:26,440
you can see sticking
out of the bonnet.
973
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:30,040
Gains about 100
horsepower from that.
974
00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:36,560
[exclaims]
975
00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:39,800
And having done
the supercharger
at that end,
976
00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:42,480
I needed something
visually to balance it
977
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:44,320
to make it a cohesive whole.
978
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:48,480
So I fitted the Plymouth
Road Runner-style
wing at the back.
979
00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:54,520
[chuckles maniacally]
980
00:56:56,720 --> 00:57:00,640
Hello, viewers.
I've turned my
Cadillac Coupe DeVille
981
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:03,640
into a low-ri-der.
982
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:09,120
Three inches
lower at the front.
983
00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:10,600
It's two inches
lower at the back,
984
00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:14,160
courtesy of heavy-duty
Land Rover Defender springs.
985
00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:18,800
A two-and-a-half-inch
straight-through
side-mounted exhaust.
986
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:24,720
Now, this was already
a very cool, very relaxed car.
987
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:28,400
It's now even cooler
and relaxeder.
988
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:32,680
-[thud]
-Uh-oh.
989
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:37,280
I may have overdone
the lowering a bit.
990
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:45,200
This thing is now wearing
white-letter heavy-duty boots
and it's worked well.
991
00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:53,480
I've also addressed
my power issues
by fitting nitrous injection.
992
00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,520
It's perfectly straightforward.
993
00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:02,240
Instead of mixing the petrol
with ordinary air before it
goes into the engine,
994
00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:05,760
it's mixed with a blend
of nitrogen and oxygen.
995
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:09,040
Let's try it out.
Engage system
with toggle switch.
996
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:10,280
Prime the tank.
997
00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:12,360
Firing...
998
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:23,160
That makes no diff...
Why does that not make
any difference at all?
999
00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:24,200
[clicks switch]
1000
00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:29,760
[James] Did you
make other modifications
to the fuel system
1001
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:31,920
apart from putting
the nitrous bottle in?
1002
00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:33,560
[Jeremy] Yes, I did.
1003
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:35,200
[James] What did you do?
1004
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:36,640
Many things.
1005
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:39,120
He hasn't done it, has he?
1006
00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:41,840
Did you alter the timing?
1007
00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:43,200
[Jeremy] I advanced it.
1008
00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:45,360
[laughs]
1009
00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:48,160
What would happen
if I hadn't done anything
to the timing
1010
00:58:48,200 --> 00:58:50,960
-or anything like that?
-[laughs]
1011
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:52,160
[James] I think...
1012
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:53,880
Yeah, you'd have
made the mixture lean
1013
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:55,880
and you'd probably
melt the pistons.
1014
00:58:55,920 --> 00:58:58,720
Well, I'll get a grandstand view
of the explosion from back here
1015
00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:01,840
if I can see it round
my supercharger.
1016
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:07,000
See around it?
Is your supercharger
actually in the way, then?
1017
00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:10,240
Um, only in...
in certain directions.
1018
00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:13,680
Um, if I look forwards,
for instance, yes, it...
1019
00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:15,200
it blocks the view.
1020
00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:19,040
[laughs] He can't see!
1021
00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:28,040
Later, I discovered
another issue that had been
caused by the modifications.
1022
00:59:28,080 --> 00:59:30,440
[tire squeals]
1023
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:33,320
That's my tire.
1024
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:35,080
[tire squealing]
1025
00:59:35,120 --> 00:59:37,520
[laughs]
1026
00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:43,560
The sound of my tires
catching on the bodywork.
1027
00:59:44,920 --> 00:59:46,520
[laughs]
1028
00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:49,640
I've really cocked
this up, haven't I?
1029
00:59:55,280 --> 00:59:57,320
We continued our journey north,
1030
00:59:57,360 --> 01:00:01,920
against the ever-familiar
backdrop of Scotland's weather.
1031
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:06,520
God really did mess up
with Scotland, didn't he,
1032
01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:08,920
'cause, "Oh, look at that.
It's my best work.
1033
01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:11,800
And now it's gonna
rain constantly."
1034
01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:13,600
[Richard] Yeah,
he made something
really rather beautiful
1035
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:16,960
and then covered it
with a tatty old sheet
in the form of the weather.
1036
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:19,520
It's interesting that
in the Islamic world,
1037
01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:23,840
artifacts can't be perfect
because only God
is capable of perfection.
1038
01:00:23,880 --> 01:00:26,800
But in Christian society,
we like to think that God
1039
01:00:26,840 --> 01:00:28,840
introduces some imperfection
and flaws into the world
1040
01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:32,920
lest we should be blinded
and driven mad by its beauty.
1041
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:36,600
James, are your side pipes
putting fumes into the cabin?
1042
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:39,440
He began that by saying,
"It's interesting, isn't it,"
1043
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:43,840
and then proceeded
to not be interesting
for the next ten minutes.
1044
01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:52,040
Eventually, though,
the rain eased,
1045
01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:54,920
which meant we could
enjoy a lovely view
1046
01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:59,080
while Hammond mended his car.
1047
01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:04,480
-[James] What up?
-[Richard] That's
a split fuel tank.
1048
01:01:04,520 --> 01:01:06,640
I don't think there's
any denying that.
1049
01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:09,080
Could you make it to
that village down there?
1050
01:01:09,120 --> 01:01:11,560
-Probably.
-'Cause they'll have
a petrol tank welding center,
1051
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:12,720
-I'm sure of it.
-Mm.
1052
01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:14,000
It's quite difficult
to weld a petrol tank.
1053
01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:15,560
You've gotta be
very careful with that.
1054
01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:18,560
[Richard] I need to find
something that I can
gum it up with.
1055
01:01:18,600 --> 01:01:20,280
[Jeremy] Sticky tape? Duct tape?
1056
01:01:20,320 --> 01:01:21,520
Well, it's an interesting
proposition
1057
01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:23,560
'cause petrol dissolves
most adhesives. So...
1058
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:25,680
Yes, James, it's
an interesting proposition.
1059
01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:28,160
Meanwhile, my car's
life blood is draining away.
1060
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:34,400
[Jeremy] Having solved
the problem with some of
my nicotine gum,
1061
01:01:36,320 --> 01:01:40,160
we stopped
looking at the view
and drove into it.
1062
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:45,120
[folk music playing]
1063
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:33,120
I really do like this car.
I like the way it looks now.
1064
01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:37,440
I always like the way it looks.
Now I like the way
it looks even more.
1065
01:02:37,480 --> 01:02:41,240
It's supremely comfortable
and it's got a Cartier clock,
1066
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:43,840
which is absolutely beautiful.
1067
01:02:43,880 --> 01:02:48,560
It moves me, that clock,
moves me with its beauty.
1068
01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:53,560
[Jeremy] How many cars
have we ever kept
from our television shows?
1069
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:57,560
Uh... Well I...
well, I kept Oliver,
the Opel Kadett.
1070
01:02:57,600 --> 01:03:01,320
I've kept the Alfa,
the Bentley
and the Excellent.
1071
01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:03,960
I've only kept
my beach buggy.
1072
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:06,040
Not many, then,
out of all the hundreds.
1073
01:03:06,080 --> 01:03:09,000
I think I know what you're
thinking now.
1074
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:11,480
I really want this
Lincoln in my life.
1075
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:14,360
[Richard] I do not want
to give up my Riviera.
I love it.
1076
01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:16,120
[James] What about the Cadillac?
1077
01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:18,920
Well, I will admit
it may have, yes,
1078
01:03:18,960 --> 01:03:22,040
got under my skin a bit
and I may actually love it,
1079
01:03:22,080 --> 01:03:23,920
especially now
it's a low-rider.
1080
01:03:26,960 --> 01:03:32,200
[Jeremy] As the light faded,
we found the nearest
castle to stay in.
1081
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:35,840
And that night,
Hammond and I
1082
01:03:35,880 --> 01:03:39,560
decided to replace
James' missing wheel spat.
1083
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:48,040
And the next morning,
he was very grateful.
1084
01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:51,200
[James screaming] Clarkson!
1085
01:03:51,240 --> 01:03:53,880
That's a particularly
shoddy piece of work.
1086
01:03:53,920 --> 01:03:55,600
[Richard] Whoa, whoa,
wait a minute!
1087
01:03:55,640 --> 01:03:57,960
Two American stars
on your American car...
1088
01:03:58,000 --> 01:03:59,880
-Exactly.
-...that is
an enhanced spat.
1089
01:03:59,920 --> 01:04:01,720
[James] But you could have
made an effort to make it fit.
1090
01:04:01,760 --> 01:04:02,800
I mean, what are these...
1091
01:04:02,840 --> 01:04:04,680
Just... You've just driven
1092
01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:07,800
ugly cross-headed
self-tapping screws
into my Cadillac.
1093
01:04:07,840 --> 01:04:09,400
It's fixed, though.
1094
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:29,040
[Jeremy] As we continued
to head for Mr. Wilman's
American island,
1095
01:04:29,080 --> 01:04:32,000
we came across
an important piece of road
1096
01:04:32,040 --> 01:04:34,760
for the nation's
car enthusiasts.
1097
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:44,600
Right, this is Britain's
Stelvio Pass,
1098
01:04:47,280 --> 01:04:48,320
the Applecross.
1099
01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:50,760
That's what it's called.
1100
01:04:56,960 --> 01:04:58,720
This is an opportunity
to find out
1101
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:03,600
how our cars will manage
on an alpine road.
1102
01:05:03,640 --> 01:05:06,680
Science is about to happen.
1103
01:05:06,720 --> 01:05:10,360
[Richard] I'm with you.
A scientific experiment, yes.
1104
01:05:10,400 --> 01:05:11,960
Right, here we go.
1105
01:05:15,200 --> 01:05:16,720
[grinding]
1106
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:22,080
Gawd streuth. Oh.
1107
01:05:25,120 --> 01:05:28,640
Yeah, that... that...
that is a problem.
1108
01:05:28,680 --> 01:05:33,640
Um... I can't see
through the windscreen
because it mists up.
1109
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,400
And on the other side,
the windscreen wiper
isn't working.
1110
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:37,280
But even if I could see
through the windscreen,
1111
01:05:37,320 --> 01:05:42,000
on the other side of it
is the supercharger,
which is dominating the view.
1112
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:48,160
Impossible to see...
1113
01:05:52,400 --> 01:05:53,760
Yeah...
1114
01:05:56,760 --> 01:06:00,560
This specific American car
is struggling a little bit
1115
01:06:00,600 --> 01:06:04,320
with this specific
bit of the UK.
1116
01:06:05,920 --> 01:06:08,400
All right, coming up
to this hairpin bend.
1117
01:06:08,440 --> 01:06:11,720
Preparing myself mentally
for the challenge.
1118
01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:12,960
And here we go.
1119
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:16,360
And... braking nicely.
1120
01:06:18,960 --> 01:06:21,000
[screeching]
1121
01:06:26,240 --> 01:06:27,480
She's round!
1122
01:06:28,880 --> 01:06:30,560
[James] Quite a lot of mist.
1123
01:06:34,440 --> 01:06:35,840
Oh, dear.
1124
01:06:35,880 --> 01:06:37,000
[car horn honks]
1125
01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:38,120
What?
1126
01:06:40,480 --> 01:06:43,560
How have we ended up driving
on the other side of the road?
1127
01:06:45,040 --> 01:06:47,040
[tires screech]
1128
01:06:50,680 --> 01:06:52,640
[laughs]
1129
01:06:59,520 --> 01:07:02,040
We're about to
drive into a cloud.
1130
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:08,280
[Jeremy] Eventually,
we reached the top of the pass,
1131
01:07:08,320 --> 01:07:10,640
got out to look
at the famous view...
1132
01:07:17,440 --> 01:07:19,320
...and then set off
back down again.
1133
01:07:24,560 --> 01:07:27,480
It... Oh, sh...
I've gone off the road.
1134
01:07:29,240 --> 01:07:32,400
Oh, there we go.
Now... [exclaims]
1135
01:07:32,440 --> 01:07:35,280
Yeah. When I
thought this morning,
1136
01:07:35,320 --> 01:07:40,560
"Let's go up that
switchback mountain road
in our two-door V8 coupes,"
1137
01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:43,680
it didn't look like this
in my head.
1138
01:07:43,720 --> 01:07:46,400
I should have known
when I put a duffel coat on.
1139
01:07:46,440 --> 01:07:48,880
You don't see
a Formula 1 driver
getting into his car
1140
01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:50,600
in a duffel coat, do you?
1141
01:07:55,200 --> 01:07:58,400
Later that day,
we reached
the Isle of Skye.
1142
01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:10,000
And having crossed that,
we boarded a ferry to
the island of North Uist.
1143
01:08:12,240 --> 01:08:18,200
And once we were underway,
we engaged in some
light automotive philosophy.
1144
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:22,960
You know,
the funny thing is...
1145
01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:26,240
when you see someone
driving an American car
in Britain,
1146
01:08:26,280 --> 01:08:28,240
you know everything
about them.
1147
01:08:28,280 --> 01:08:30,960
You know that Trump
makes them plump,
1148
01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:33,080
they've got
a Confederate flag
in the garage...
1149
01:08:33,120 --> 01:08:34,800
-Yeah.
-...they only drink Bud.
1150
01:08:34,840 --> 01:08:36,640
When you see someone
driving a Fiat,
1151
01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:39,160
you don't think,
"Well, I bet he waves
his arms around
1152
01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:40,960
and has a weird relationship
with his mother."
1153
01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:42,360
Or someone in a Volvo,
you don't think,
1154
01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:43,840
"Oh, I bet he gets naked
and then rolls around
1155
01:08:43,880 --> 01:08:44,960
in the snow
with his neighbors."
1156
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:46,640
-Exactly.
-But that's what I mean,
1157
01:08:46,680 --> 01:08:48,320
you don't make assumptions
based on the car's
nationality at all.
1158
01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:50,360
No, you don't, you don't.
But with an American car...
1159
01:08:50,400 --> 01:08:52,400
-[James] You do.
-...you absolutely do.
1160
01:08:52,440 --> 01:08:53,960
You're absolutely right
because if, for example...
1161
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:55,480
I mean, let's just
take a hypothetical case,
1162
01:08:55,520 --> 01:08:59,080
if you saw a classic Mustang,
say a dark-green one,
1163
01:08:59,120 --> 01:09:00,880
and it was being driven
by Richard Hammond,
1164
01:09:00,920 --> 01:09:03,960
all you can see is his face
just sticking up above
the steering wheel,
1165
01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:06,440
but you'd still think,
"I bet he's wearing
cowboy boots."
1166
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:10,960
And he is.
The only thing he doesn't do
1167
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:13,520
that he should as
an American car enthusiast
1168
01:09:14,560 --> 01:09:16,200
is play golf.
1169
01:09:16,240 --> 01:09:17,800
Yeah. Pfft!
1170
01:09:17,840 --> 01:09:19,200
What do you mean, "Yeeah"?
1171
01:09:19,240 --> 01:09:21,280
Yeah.
1172
01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:24,600
-"Yeeah, yeeah."
-Have you got something
you'd like to share?
1173
01:09:24,640 --> 01:09:28,160
My name's Richard Hammond
and I've taken up golf recently.
I've been having lessons.
1174
01:09:35,840 --> 01:09:37,440
-Seriously?
-Yeah.
1175
01:09:37,480 --> 01:09:40,440
I bought a set of golf clubs
and I've been having lessons,
1176
01:09:40,480 --> 01:09:42,800
twice a week
at my local golf course.
1177
01:09:43,920 --> 01:09:45,840
Why have you taken up golf?
1178
01:09:45,880 --> 01:09:47,360
My mates seemed to be
really enjoying it.
1179
01:09:47,400 --> 01:09:49,080
So I went round
with them and I tried it.
1180
01:09:49,120 --> 01:09:50,800
And it was really,
really h... it's hard.
1181
01:09:50,840 --> 01:09:52,040
-It's, like, honestly,
it's really hard--
-I'm not interested.
1182
01:09:52,080 --> 01:09:53,120
And so then
I've had lessons.
1183
01:09:53,160 --> 01:09:55,560
I was having quite
an interesting...
1184
01:09:55,600 --> 01:09:57,560
thought process there
about American cars
1185
01:09:57,600 --> 01:10:00,440
and now suddenly,
my day's been ruined.
1186
01:10:00,480 --> 01:10:04,160
Somebody I've actually
enjoyed working with
for the last 15 years,
1187
01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:06,720
it turns out, is weird.
1188
01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:14,040
[Richard] Fortunately,
the conversation was
interrupted at this point
1189
01:10:14,080 --> 01:10:17,400
because we had reached
the extraordinary island
1190
01:10:17,880 --> 01:10:19,640
of North Uist.
1191
01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:31,800
We are on
an Outer Hebrides.
1192
01:10:42,200 --> 01:10:45,320
So the next island along
is where Mr. Wilman
1193
01:10:45,360 --> 01:10:50,840
has built his community
for American car enthusiasts.
1194
01:10:50,880 --> 01:10:52,640
[Richard] I'm excited
by this idea of a...
1195
01:10:52,680 --> 01:10:57,760
a place where we can go
in our American cars
and not be embarrassed.
1196
01:10:57,800 --> 01:11:00,640
It is like nudists.
1197
01:11:00,680 --> 01:11:02,280
They wanna run around
with no clothes on,
1198
01:11:02,320 --> 01:11:04,880
but you can't do that
where everybody else
is wearing clothes.
1199
01:11:04,920 --> 01:11:06,680
You'd feel silly.
1200
01:11:06,720 --> 01:11:08,760
So they go amongst
like-minded people
1201
01:11:08,800 --> 01:11:10,720
where everyone's
doing the same.
1202
01:11:13,280 --> 01:11:15,600
Eventually, we reached
the shoreline
1203
01:11:15,640 --> 01:11:17,880
on the far side
of the island.
1204
01:11:20,120 --> 01:11:22,760
Ooh, I say,
that's rather beautiful.
Look at that.
1205
01:11:22,800 --> 01:11:25,280
[James] That is
mighty pretty, isn't it?
1206
01:11:31,760 --> 01:11:33,640
What the bloody
hell's that lot?
1207
01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:40,520
What is it?
1208
01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:43,000
[James] I'm wondering
if it's some sort of
temporary stage or seating.
1209
01:11:43,040 --> 01:11:44,760
It's plastic
in the sea, is what it is.
1210
01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:46,120
-It is a lot of plastic.
-I mean, look at it.
1211
01:11:46,160 --> 01:11:48,200
Well, maybe they re-use it
when there's no COVID
1212
01:11:48,240 --> 01:11:49,800
-and they have
folk music on the beach.
-Guys?
1213
01:11:49,840 --> 01:11:51,160
-It's all washed up--
-What?
1214
01:11:51,200 --> 01:11:52,720
I had a text from Wilman.
1215
01:11:52,760 --> 01:11:55,960
Right, so, that
1216
01:11:56,000 --> 01:11:58,760
is the island where
he's built the community.
1217
01:11:58,800 --> 01:12:00,320
And I'm guessing
that spiky thing
1218
01:12:00,360 --> 01:12:02,280
over there is part of it.
Can you see that?
1219
01:12:02,320 --> 01:12:03,440
[Richard] What, over there?
1220
01:12:03,480 --> 01:12:05,040
-[Jeremy] Yeah.
-[Richard] Wow.
1221
01:12:05,080 --> 01:12:10,400
But to get to the island,
we have to build
a bridge out of that.
1222
01:12:10,440 --> 01:12:13,200
[James] Is it like
a pontoony-type thing,
do you think?
1223
01:12:13,240 --> 01:12:15,360
I'm just thinking
they're full of air,
so they look floaty.
1224
01:12:15,400 --> 01:12:17,160
Well, it's not gonna
hold a car up, is it?
1225
01:12:17,200 --> 01:12:20,200
I don't know,
maybe if you have
enough of them, it would.
1226
01:12:20,240 --> 01:12:21,920
-[Richard] So those...
-[Jeremy] So these ones
1227
01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:23,560
-are already joined
together, look...
-[Richard] Yeah, look, that's...
1228
01:12:23,600 --> 01:12:25,080
Yeah, that's...
that's what these...
Look, that's one of these.
1229
01:12:25,120 --> 01:12:26,440
[James] Yeah, they're screws.
1230
01:12:26,480 --> 01:12:27,800
[Richard] They screw together.
1231
01:12:27,840 --> 01:12:29,880
[Jeremy]
That's my idea of hell.
1232
01:12:29,920 --> 01:12:32,960
[Richard] Oh, it's
a giant construction set!
1233
01:12:33,000 --> 01:12:36,160
Jeremy, it's like your birthday
and Christmas all at once!
1234
01:12:36,200 --> 01:12:38,040
So is that wider...
I mean, how much wider
1235
01:12:38,080 --> 01:12:39,720
than the car
does it need to be?
1236
01:12:39,760 --> 01:12:41,160
Out of how many
of these we got.
1237
01:12:41,200 --> 01:12:43,760
And out...
we've gotta go
a long bloody way!
1238
01:12:45,760 --> 01:12:47,560
All the cars
are six-foot-seven wide.
1239
01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:52,960
Two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine.
1240
01:12:53,000 --> 01:12:54,960
-Just under ten foot.
-So your feet are foot?
1241
01:12:55,000 --> 01:12:57,120
Uh, I don't know.
1242
01:12:57,160 --> 01:12:59,440
[Jeremy] I, meanwhile,
was more interested in
1243
01:12:59,480 --> 01:13:02,040
what this community
would look like.
1244
01:13:02,080 --> 01:13:03,560
I'm guessing that...
1245
01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:04,880
[Richard] It...
1246
01:13:04,920 --> 01:13:06,200
[Jeremy] No, I'm trying
to think what there'll be.
1247
01:13:06,240 --> 01:13:08,040
There'll be a motel,
1248
01:13:08,080 --> 01:13:09,920
and in every room
there'll be two beds
1249
01:13:09,960 --> 01:13:13,400
that are far too big,
burgundy bedspreads.
1250
01:13:13,440 --> 01:13:15,960
There will be a sports bar
with hundreds of screens
1251
01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:18,640
all showing something
slightly different
but not very different.
1252
01:13:18,680 --> 01:13:20,400
[Richard] Everybody will
talk to you in the lift.
1253
01:13:20,440 --> 01:13:22,200
-Elevator. I like that.
-[Jeremy] Yes, they will...
1254
01:13:22,240 --> 01:13:23,480
[in American accent]
"Good to know you."
1255
01:13:23,520 --> 01:13:24,560
That's what they say
when you get out of a lift.
1256
01:13:24,600 --> 01:13:26,120
[Richard] Yeah,
they say good morning...
1257
01:13:26,160 --> 01:13:27,840
You... you... how...
You don't know me,
you've just met me,
1258
01:13:27,880 --> 01:13:29,960
-"Good to meet you"?
-I like that,
you have a conversation.
1259
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:31,720
[Jeremy] But that's
'cause you're American.
1260
01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:36,960
[Jeremy] We got stuck
into the work...
1261
01:13:42,200 --> 01:13:43,920
[Richard] Captain Nurk,
going in.
1262
01:13:45,200 --> 01:13:46,440
That must be
the doer-upperer.
1263
01:13:49,960 --> 01:13:52,840
[Jeremy] ...pausing only
for James and I
to have an argument.
1264
01:13:54,800 --> 01:13:55,880
That isn't going to work.
1265
01:13:55,920 --> 01:13:58,200
It is. I've done
a calculation, roughly.
1266
01:13:58,240 --> 01:14:01,400
Maths, James,
has no bearing on the sea.
1267
01:14:01,440 --> 01:14:03,400
-Of course it does.
-Do you think it'll work?
1268
01:14:03,440 --> 01:14:05,360
-No. Not really.
-[laughs]
1269
01:14:16,280 --> 01:14:17,360
[Jeremy] Going down.
1270
01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:19,040
Going down.
1271
01:14:21,360 --> 01:14:24,080
[Jeremy] Oh, God.
Right, that is secured.
1272
01:14:24,120 --> 01:14:25,240
[Richard] Good.
1273
01:14:25,280 --> 01:14:26,480
[Jeremy] You pissed
in your own Wellingtons.
1274
01:14:26,520 --> 01:14:27,560
Yes.
1275
01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:29,320
This is very manly,
this, isn't it?
1276
01:14:29,360 --> 01:14:30,440
-[Jeremy] This?
-[Richard] Yeah.
1277
01:14:30,480 --> 01:14:31,720
[Jeremy] I know.
1278
01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:44,040
[Jeremy] On the third morning
of our endeavors,
1279
01:14:44,080 --> 01:14:48,720
we'd reached the point
where we needed to borrow
a boat from a local.
1280
01:14:48,760 --> 01:14:51,160
[indistinct mumbling]
1281
01:14:51,200 --> 01:14:54,720
Okay, here's the situation.
Um, we've built this bit here.
1282
01:14:54,760 --> 01:14:56,840
Hammond is going to
bring the boat around here.
1283
01:14:56,880 --> 01:15:00,800
And we're now going to
tow it to the end of
what we've already built
1284
01:15:00,840 --> 01:15:03,080
where we can attach
our new section.
1285
01:15:05,560 --> 01:15:08,120
[Jeremy] It was a simple plan,
but then it turned out
1286
01:15:08,160 --> 01:15:11,720
that Hammond
had never used
an outboard motor.
1287
01:15:13,400 --> 01:15:15,840
Uh... uh...
1288
01:15:15,880 --> 01:15:17,120
Pull the cord.
1289
01:15:17,160 --> 01:15:18,480
Where's the cord? Oh.
1290
01:15:18,520 --> 01:15:20,200
It's in the top
of the en... There.
1291
01:15:20,240 --> 01:15:21,360
-Pull it...
-I got it.
1292
01:15:25,080 --> 01:15:26,560
It works!
1293
01:15:26,600 --> 01:15:28,200
How do I make it move?
1294
01:15:28,240 --> 01:15:31,320
Twist the thing...
There you go!
1295
01:15:32,240 --> 01:15:35,000
HMS Hammond is underway.
1296
01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:37,280
Argh!
1297
01:15:38,520 --> 01:15:41,360
In your own time.
Quick as you like.
1298
01:15:46,680 --> 01:15:47,920
Are you ready?
1299
01:15:48,680 --> 01:15:50,360
Job one, tie on.
1300
01:15:51,600 --> 01:15:53,320
Right, perfect.
1301
01:15:53,360 --> 01:15:56,080
Now, pull me along.
1302
01:15:56,560 --> 01:15:57,960
Go, go. Power.
1303
01:15:59,600 --> 01:16:01,320
[Jeremy laughs]
1304
01:16:04,720 --> 01:16:06,560
Oh, give me strength.
1305
01:16:06,600 --> 01:16:09,200
You pulled the bloody
fishing-rod holder off...
1306
01:16:09,240 --> 01:16:10,760
[Richard] I didn't tie it
to the fishing rod.
1307
01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:12,440
Why did you tie it
to the fishing...
1308
01:16:12,480 --> 01:16:15,400
[Jeremy] I didn't
tie it to the fishing rod,
you blithering idiot.
1309
01:16:15,440 --> 01:16:18,280
Right, are you ready?
We're setting off.
1310
01:16:28,080 --> 01:16:30,080
Ooh-ho!
1311
01:16:30,120 --> 01:16:32,120
[Jeremy] Hammond's gone
upside down again.
1312
01:16:36,600 --> 01:16:38,000
[laughs]
1313
01:16:38,040 --> 01:16:41,600
[James] What the f... Oh, jeez.
How has he done--
1314
01:16:42,760 --> 01:16:45,040
[Jeremy laughing]
1315
01:16:45,080 --> 01:16:48,640
[Richard shouting indistinctly]
1316
01:16:53,600 --> 01:16:55,680
[Jeremy] I'll pull you in.
1317
01:16:55,720 --> 01:16:57,720
[Jeremy] Weirdly, none of
the other locals
1318
01:16:57,760 --> 01:16:59,840
would lend us
a boat after that.
1319
01:17:01,640 --> 01:17:06,520
So, we had to drag
the new section
into place by hand.
1320
01:17:08,400 --> 01:17:11,440
Look at this, I'm moving
100 meters of bridge
1321
01:17:12,240 --> 01:17:14,520
all by myself.
1322
01:17:14,560 --> 01:17:17,000
-Water's really
slippery, isn't it?
-Yeah.
1323
01:17:18,080 --> 01:17:20,440
Ready? Look at that
for docking.
1324
01:17:20,480 --> 01:17:22,200
There you go.
1325
01:17:23,680 --> 01:17:25,760
[Jeremy] Work continued
for the rest of the day...
1326
01:17:33,360 --> 01:17:36,200
Ugh. Now, I need to pull
this corner in, don't we?
1327
01:17:38,480 --> 01:17:40,160
No, there's...
1328
01:17:40,200 --> 01:17:42,720
[Jeremy] ...until,
by late afternoon,
1329
01:17:42,760 --> 01:17:46,120
our arrow-straight
bridge was finished.
1330
01:18:02,440 --> 01:18:06,200
And since James was
the only one of us
who thought it would work,
1331
01:18:06,240 --> 01:18:09,960
Hammond and I decided
he should go first.
1332
01:18:11,520 --> 01:18:13,520
[engine revving]
1333
01:18:14,320 --> 01:18:16,400
Ts and Ps good.
1334
01:18:16,440 --> 01:18:18,000
What is the chance
1335
01:18:18,040 --> 01:18:19,040
-of him making it...
-Minimal, I'd say.
1336
01:18:19,080 --> 01:18:20,720
...across there?
Negligible.
1337
01:18:29,080 --> 01:18:32,080
[James whimpers]
1338
01:18:32,120 --> 01:18:35,320
Oh, my God, the road
is floating in front of me.
1339
01:18:38,120 --> 01:18:39,800
[Richard] Oh, my God,
look how it moves!
1340
01:18:39,840 --> 01:18:43,160
[Jeremy] It's actually sinking
as he drives along.
1341
01:18:46,760 --> 01:18:50,000
Jeez. That is weird.
1342
01:18:53,080 --> 01:18:58,520
All right, chaps,
I'm not gonna lie to you,
this feels a bit perilous.
1343
01:18:58,560 --> 01:19:00,000
That's 30-feet
of water he's driving...
1344
01:19:00,040 --> 01:19:01,120
-In a Cadillac.
-...over.
1345
01:19:04,840 --> 01:19:06,560
I know it's deep.
It was deep enough
1346
01:19:06,600 --> 01:19:07,680
-to swallow my boat.
-It was.
1347
01:19:09,640 --> 01:19:11,000
[thud]
1348
01:19:11,040 --> 01:19:12,960
[James] Shit.
1349
01:19:13,000 --> 01:19:15,600
I think my exhaust
may be dragging
on the floor.
1350
01:19:18,320 --> 01:19:19,320
Agh!
1351
01:19:22,200 --> 01:19:25,320
Now I'm crashing
into my own bridge.
1352
01:19:34,080 --> 01:19:35,360
-Oh, I think his ex...
-Oh.
1353
01:19:35,400 --> 01:19:37,760
I think he's
grounding out
where it dips.
1354
01:19:37,800 --> 01:19:39,400
[engine revs]
1355
01:19:41,120 --> 01:19:42,560
Oh, this is hilarious.
1356
01:19:51,800 --> 01:19:53,600
I don't think you'll be
able to see this, viewers,
1357
01:19:53,640 --> 01:19:56,240
but on that side of the car,
the wheels have collapsed,
1358
01:19:56,280 --> 01:19:58,880
each of them,
one of these elements.
1359
01:19:58,920 --> 01:20:00,640
So I'm now
against chocks.
1360
01:20:00,680 --> 01:20:02,360
And the...
the other side of that
1361
01:20:02,400 --> 01:20:04,640
is that the exhaust
is now down on the ground
1362
01:20:04,680 --> 01:20:07,000
and the end of the exhaust
is wedged in one of the joins.
1363
01:20:07,040 --> 01:20:09,720
So it's completely stuck.
1364
01:20:09,760 --> 01:20:12,000
There is a solution,
but I don't know you'll be
prepared to do it.
1365
01:20:12,040 --> 01:20:13,080
What is it?
1366
01:20:13,120 --> 01:20:15,640
Well, you go
and help him out.
1367
01:20:15,680 --> 01:20:19,320
That would mean four tons
of American land yacht
1368
01:20:19,360 --> 01:20:21,280
on the same bit
of plastic in the ocean.
1369
01:20:21,320 --> 01:20:22,640
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
1370
01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:25,760
[Jeremy] But since
James was now
1371
01:20:25,800 --> 01:20:31,400
a huge burgundy
obstacle to our success,
there was nothing for it.
1372
01:20:40,680 --> 01:20:41,960
Power, increase speed.
1373
01:20:45,560 --> 01:20:48,800
Oh, shit. The back
of the car's dipping.
1374
01:20:48,840 --> 01:20:52,960
God, I'm completely...
I'm arse down.
I can hardly see a thing.
1375
01:20:58,160 --> 01:21:00,080
I can see Thunderbird II
approaching.
1376
01:21:01,960 --> 01:21:03,000
Air...
1377
01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:05,240
[hisses]
1378
01:21:05,280 --> 01:21:06,320
Working.
1379
01:21:08,320 --> 01:21:10,840
You're gonna have to
give me a fairly hefty shove
and keep going.
1380
01:21:11,680 --> 01:21:14,840
Right, James May,
here I come.
1381
01:21:15,640 --> 01:21:16,720
[thuds]
1382
01:21:16,760 --> 01:21:19,880
[engine revving]
1383
01:21:26,880 --> 01:21:28,920
That didn't work.
Let's try something else.
1384
01:21:29,720 --> 01:21:31,320
I'm gonna back up, yes?
1385
01:21:34,080 --> 01:21:35,960
And then I'll create a wash.
1386
01:21:36,000 --> 01:21:37,040
Yes?
1387
01:21:38,600 --> 01:21:41,920
When the wash lifts
the back of your car up,
hoof it.
1388
01:21:43,200 --> 01:21:45,320
Here it comes,
here it comes.
1389
01:21:55,240 --> 01:21:56,840
-[engine revving]
-[Jeremy] Go, go, go.
1390
01:21:59,320 --> 01:22:01,600
[James] Bollocks and arse.
1391
01:22:01,640 --> 01:22:04,000
Hammond, could you come
and offer some assistance here?
1392
01:22:08,120 --> 01:22:09,840
Right, I think I'm on.
1393
01:22:14,760 --> 01:22:17,920
I'd like to be able
to see a bit more
than I can see now.
1394
01:22:25,120 --> 01:22:28,120
Ah! Oh, God.
1395
01:22:30,120 --> 01:22:32,600
I do not wanna go
in that water again.
1396
01:22:34,120 --> 01:22:37,880
[Jeremy] Amazingly, the world's
most accident-prone driver
1397
01:22:37,920 --> 01:22:39,960
made it without incident.
1398
01:22:41,320 --> 01:22:44,480
[Richard] Jeremy, I'm here now.
Can I help?
1399
01:22:44,520 --> 01:22:47,200
[Jeremy] Hammond,
I've had a brilliant idea.
1400
01:22:47,240 --> 01:22:49,000
[Richard] Go on.
1401
01:22:49,040 --> 01:22:51,600
If we both drove
at him at high speed
1402
01:22:51,640 --> 01:22:54,160
and then braked
to create the wash,
1403
01:22:54,200 --> 01:22:56,760
that might be enough
to lift him up and on.
1404
01:22:56,800 --> 01:22:58,760
Or double the stresses
and break the bridge.
1405
01:22:58,800 --> 01:23:01,040
But it's our
only shot, isn't it?
1406
01:23:01,080 --> 01:23:03,280
Okay, I'm up for it.
You tell me when.
1407
01:23:03,320 --> 01:23:07,360
Okay, this is really...
This requires precision driving.
1408
01:23:08,760 --> 01:23:10,240
[James] I am ready.
1409
01:23:11,200 --> 01:23:12,720
Hammond, are you ready?
1410
01:23:12,760 --> 01:23:14,080
[Richard] I am ready.
1411
01:23:14,720 --> 01:23:15,920
[engine starts]
1412
01:23:16,800 --> 01:23:18,840
[engine starts]
1413
01:23:19,640 --> 01:23:20,920
[engine sputters]
1414
01:23:23,400 --> 01:23:24,920
My car won't start.
1415
01:23:26,560 --> 01:23:28,080
Oh, God.
1416
01:23:30,160 --> 01:23:31,240
What?
1417
01:23:33,520 --> 01:23:38,680
Sit rep, I am the meat
in an incompetent sandwich.
1418
01:23:41,200 --> 01:23:42,680
[engine starts]
1419
01:23:42,720 --> 01:23:45,000
It's all right, it's started.
1420
01:23:45,040 --> 01:23:49,040
[Jeremy] Right, gentlemen,
we are ready back here.
1421
01:23:53,120 --> 01:23:56,440
In three, two, one... now.
1422
01:24:10,640 --> 01:24:13,080
Braking... now!
1423
01:24:14,520 --> 01:24:16,280
Go, go, go.
1424
01:24:19,440 --> 01:24:21,000
[Richard] Yes!
1425
01:24:21,040 --> 01:24:23,360
[Jeremy] It worked.
It bloody worked.
1426
01:24:23,400 --> 01:24:25,880
[whooping]
1427
01:24:27,200 --> 01:24:29,280
[James] Very good. Thank you.
1428
01:24:39,640 --> 01:24:44,280
[Richard] Oh, I say!
My people have recognized me!
1429
01:24:44,320 --> 01:24:45,760
[Jeremy]
I think Mr. Wilman's done that.
1430
01:24:45,800 --> 01:24:47,120
[Richard] Yeah, he has.
1431
01:24:48,680 --> 01:24:51,040
I can't wait to see
our commune.
1432
01:24:54,000 --> 01:24:57,560
What we're looking for
is an American-style
town, I imagine.
1433
01:25:01,360 --> 01:25:05,160
That's like Oklahoma.
Look at that.
1434
01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:06,840
Cows.
1435
01:25:08,480 --> 01:25:11,800
That's a remarkable journey,
all the way across Scotland,
1436
01:25:11,840 --> 01:25:15,240
all the way across Skye,
all the way across...
1437
01:25:15,280 --> 01:25:16,520
[James]
I'm gonna have to stop.
1438
01:25:16,560 --> 01:25:18,840
I've got
the warning lights on
and everything.
1439
01:25:18,880 --> 01:25:21,400
Something's going wrong.
My car smell...
1440
01:25:22,320 --> 01:25:23,960
[Jeremy]
James, we're literally--
1441
01:25:24,000 --> 01:25:25,640
[James] No, I know,
but I don't want to fail
1442
01:25:25,680 --> 01:25:27,960
100 yards from our commune.
1443
01:25:28,000 --> 01:25:31,200
I want to arrive in glory.
So just give me a few minutes.
1444
01:25:33,240 --> 01:25:36,600
[Jeremy] How's he managed
to break it
on the last 100 yards?
1445
01:25:36,640 --> 01:25:38,920
What a blithering idiot he is.
1446
01:25:38,960 --> 01:25:40,480
I can't open the hood.
1447
01:25:40,520 --> 01:25:41,840
[blows raspberries]
1448
01:25:42,880 --> 01:25:44,680
[Jeremy] Um, Hammond,
I've had an idea.
1449
01:25:44,720 --> 01:25:46,640
There's literally nothing
we can do to help him
1450
01:25:46,680 --> 01:25:49,560
so let's go and have
a look at that spiky
building over there.
1451
01:25:50,440 --> 01:25:51,400
Glad to.
1452
01:25:52,440 --> 01:25:53,880
Onwards.
1453
01:25:53,920 --> 01:25:55,720
[engine sputters]
1454
01:25:55,760 --> 01:25:59,120
Oh, God, you're joking.
It can't be.
1455
01:25:59,160 --> 01:26:01,080
[Richard] Uh,
it won't start.
1456
01:26:01,120 --> 01:26:02,960
So both of them
have broken down.
1457
01:26:03,000 --> 01:26:05,320
One hundred yards
from the finish line.
1458
01:26:05,360 --> 01:26:08,000
Right, well, um, let's think.
1459
01:26:08,040 --> 01:26:09,400
Mine will.
1460
01:26:11,400 --> 01:26:13,080
And has. There it is.
1461
01:26:19,400 --> 01:26:21,200
After a short drive,
1462
01:26:23,160 --> 01:26:25,560
I arrived at our commune.
1463
01:26:30,400 --> 01:26:34,760
Crikey. Mr. Wilman's
been busy.
1464
01:26:42,720 --> 01:26:44,080
Look at that!
1465
01:26:46,200 --> 01:26:48,280
Laser Quest. Multiplex.
1466
01:26:53,000 --> 01:26:55,200
Look at this, a sports bar!
1467
01:26:58,880 --> 01:27:01,800
And 5G on my mobile.
How's that possible?
1468
01:27:03,600 --> 01:27:04,920
Weird.
1469
01:27:12,160 --> 01:27:13,760
Is that an MG?
1470
01:27:15,560 --> 01:27:17,080
What's that doing here?
1471
01:27:22,120 --> 01:27:27,560
Evening, barman. I'll have
three pints of Budweiser
with cheese, please.
1472
01:27:30,640 --> 01:27:33,760
Eventually, I was joined
by my colleagues.
1473
01:27:35,120 --> 01:27:37,240
-Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
-Ooh!
1474
01:27:37,280 --> 01:27:40,640
-Your beers await.
-Aah! Ho-ho!
And there it is!
1475
01:27:40,680 --> 01:27:42,960
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Pause.
Just savor the moment.
1476
01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:44,440
Yeah, I know what you mean.
1477
01:27:44,480 --> 01:27:46,880
Budweiser!
There you are!
1478
01:27:46,920 --> 01:27:50,160
Do you know,
they only had Tsingtao?
1479
01:27:50,200 --> 01:27:51,360
-Really?
-Yeah.
1480
01:27:51,400 --> 01:27:52,600
Well, MGD?
1481
01:27:52,640 --> 01:27:55,400
No, only Tsingtao.
1482
01:27:55,440 --> 01:27:57,120
Anyway, look,
let's get something to eat.
1483
01:27:57,160 --> 01:27:58,680
[Richard] Yes, food.
1484
01:27:58,720 --> 01:28:00,680
Food, in this.
Look, I'm in st...
1485
01:28:00,720 --> 01:28:03,160
I... I can't believe
Mr. Wilman's made this.
1486
01:28:03,200 --> 01:28:04,920
I've totally come...
I've totally come home.
1487
01:28:04,960 --> 01:28:07,200
My Buick Riviera
is parked outside
1488
01:28:07,240 --> 01:28:08,720
-and I'm in here!
-Yeah, I know!
1489
01:28:08,760 --> 01:28:10,920
-Everything is good!
-It's staggering, isn't it?
1490
01:28:10,960 --> 01:28:12,800
And I fancy...
1491
01:28:12,840 --> 01:28:15,880
surf and turf?
No, wait...
1492
01:28:15,920 --> 01:28:18,960
[in American accent]
Monterey Jack.
I want some Monterey Jack.
1493
01:28:28,480 --> 01:28:30,560
[Jeremy] What?
1494
01:28:30,600 --> 01:28:35,120
[Richard] Chaps, um, it's not...
It's not just the menu.
1495
01:28:35,160 --> 01:28:37,480
Nothing in here
feels quite right.
1496
01:28:39,600 --> 01:28:40,960
That is weird.
1497
01:28:52,200 --> 01:28:56,120
Do you know, this place
has only been open,
what, a week?
1498
01:28:56,160 --> 01:29:00,240
And already, every
single thing in here
1499
01:29:01,560 --> 01:29:02,960
is Chinese.
1500
01:29:08,680 --> 01:29:11,960
And on that
terrible disappointment
it's time to end.
1501
01:29:12,000 --> 01:29:13,400
We will be back.
1502
01:29:13,440 --> 01:29:16,120
We don't know where,
we don't know when,
but we will.
1503
01:29:16,160 --> 01:29:18,520
And we will see you then.
Thank you so much for watching.
1504
01:29:18,560 --> 01:29:19,560
Goodbye.
1505
01:29:22,840 --> 01:29:24,840
[theme music playing]
1505
01:29:25,305 --> 01:30:25,589
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