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1
00:00:06,701 --> 00:00:08,133
(EXCLAIMS)
2
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:09,767
You okay?
3
00:00:09,834 --> 00:00:13,300
I need you to kiss me
like no man
has ever been kissed.
4
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:19,234
Nah. I've been
kissed like that.
5
00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,234
Done that, too.
6
00:00:28,300 --> 00:00:30,000
All right.
Come here.
7
00:00:39,968 --> 00:00:41,501
All right then.
8
00:00:54,467 --> 00:00:58,300
* Tell me whyI love you like I do
9
00:00:58,367 --> 00:01:02,467
* Tell me whocan stop my heartas much as you
10
00:01:02,534 --> 00:01:04,200
* Let's take each other's hand
11
00:01:04,267 --> 00:01:07,367
* As we jump intothe final frontier
12
00:01:08,534 --> 00:01:11,133
* I'm mad about you, baby
13
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:12,601
* Yeah!
14
00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:17,701
PAUL: All right,
close your eyes.
15
00:01:17,767 --> 00:01:19,267
Honey, I don't have time
for this.
16
00:01:19,334 --> 00:01:21,634
I understand.
Close your eyes.
17
00:01:21,701 --> 00:01:23,901
My eyes are closed.
All right.
18
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,634
Now open them.
19
00:01:34,667 --> 00:01:37,000
Why are you
dressed like that?
20
00:01:37,067 --> 00:01:39,834
I told you,
I'm doing this piece
on the milkman.
21
00:01:39,901 --> 00:01:41,234
What milkman?
22
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:44,367
The Milkman, Pete,
the last milkman
in New York.
23
00:01:44,434 --> 00:01:47,267
It's like the Mohican,
but with milk.
24
00:01:47,334 --> 00:01:48,834
He makes you wear that?
25
00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:50,701
Not making me.
I'm gonna be on the truck
with him all week.
26
00:01:50,767 --> 00:01:52,300
So it makes him
feel better.
27
00:01:52,367 --> 00:01:54,367
All week?
Well, every night.
28
00:01:54,434 --> 00:01:55,868
Why didn't you
tell me?
29
00:01:55,934 --> 00:01:56,968
I did.
30
00:01:57,067 --> 00:01:58,434
Really?
31
00:01:58,501 --> 00:02:00,067
Possibly.
32
00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:02,200
Oh, great.
What is the problem?
33
00:02:02,267 --> 00:02:04,067
Oh, I just wish
you'd said something
last night.
34
00:02:04,133 --> 00:02:07,033
We could've had sex
or a conversation
or something.
35
00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:08,968
Well,
I got two minutes.
36
00:02:09,033 --> 00:02:10,367
Well, you know,
not even enough time
for a conversation.
37
00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:12,968
But, you know what?
Hey, I'm actually serious.
38
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:14,701
What? I'll see you--
I'll see you
during the daytime.
39
00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:16,300
I have meetings
all week.
40
00:02:16,367 --> 00:02:19,234
So, like tomorrow.
How about tomorrow
at breakfast?
41
00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:21,901
I have my presentation.
You want to have dinner
Wednesday?
42
00:02:21,968 --> 00:02:23,968
I can't. I'm in film lab.
How about Thursday?
43
00:02:24,033 --> 00:02:25,834
Fran and I seeing
the rug people.
44
00:02:25,901 --> 00:02:27,567
I saw that.
With Vincent Price.
Yeah, that was good.
45
00:02:27,634 --> 00:02:29,601
They're clients.
So Friday.
46
00:02:29,667 --> 00:02:31,501
I have school.
The weekend?
47
00:02:31,567 --> 00:02:33,033
I'm editing.
48
00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:35,801
Well, we've had
four great years.
Thanks for everything.
49
00:02:35,868 --> 00:02:38,701
Let me see. Tuesday.
Next Tuesday,
like 5:00, 5:00 to 6:00.
50
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:40,434
Pizza.
You and me. Pizza.
51
00:02:40,501 --> 00:02:42,400
Yippee.
There you go.
52
00:02:43,968 --> 00:02:45,701
How am I even gonna know
it's you?
53
00:02:45,767 --> 00:02:50,267
Because I'll be the guy
who goes like this.
54
00:02:50,334 --> 00:02:53,501
It's hard to resist a man
in uniform, isn't it?
Mmm-hmm.
55
00:02:54,868 --> 00:02:56,767
Please,
don't do that.
56
00:03:02,067 --> 00:03:03,167
Good, huh?
Mmm-hmm.
57
00:03:03,234 --> 00:03:04,400
You know
how many pancakes
58
00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:06,033
we sell here
at Ralphy's
every year?
59
00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:07,901
Ralphy, well,
I can sure see why.
60
00:03:07,968 --> 00:03:11,434
All right,
try my clams now.
61
00:03:11,501 --> 00:03:14,934
You know what?
We're just so darn anxious
to get down to business.
62
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,467
Fran and I have
worked up some ideas.
63
00:03:16,534 --> 00:03:18,834
I was thinking
that we should wait
till the kid comes in.
64
00:03:18,901 --> 00:03:21,601
What kid?
This kid I hired
to do some graphics.
65
00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:24,501
Come on, eat up.
They're double fried.
Okey-dokey.
66
00:03:26,033 --> 00:03:27,434
Mmm.
Mmm.
67
00:03:27,501 --> 00:03:29,868
ALAN: Hey, Ralphy.
Oh, there he is. Al.
68
00:03:29,934 --> 00:03:32,067
FRAN: Oh, God.
69
00:03:32,133 --> 00:03:34,334
Uh, Alan Tofsky,
this is...
Jamie.
70
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:35,767
Alan.
Hi.
71
00:03:35,834 --> 00:03:37,400
You two
know each other?
Yeah.
72
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:40,300
Oh, sure. We've, uh,
we've worked together before.
73
00:03:40,367 --> 00:03:41,601
And stuff. Hi, Fran.
74
00:03:41,667 --> 00:03:43,167
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
75
00:03:43,234 --> 00:03:45,400
Hey, you want a lobster?
Sure. Sure.
76
00:03:45,467 --> 00:03:47,133
Good. Have a seat.
77
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,934
So, how are you?
Good.
78
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,501
Me, too.
Good.
79
00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:58,734
Hey, my-- my comic book's
getting published
this week.
80
00:03:58,801 --> 00:03:59,901
Really?
Yeah. Yeah.
81
00:03:59,968 --> 00:04:01,834
The advance word's
been incredible.
82
00:04:01,901 --> 00:04:03,701
They're already talking
about animated series,
83
00:04:03,767 --> 00:04:05,501
and action figures,
and trading cards.
84
00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:07,133
I can't believe
you did this.
85
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,067
I--I...
I didn't know.
86
00:04:10,133 --> 00:04:11,834
Yeah. Just like
you didn't know
about that time
87
00:04:11,901 --> 00:04:15,300
we were supposed to feed
Jim and Bonita's cat.
88
00:04:15,367 --> 00:04:16,801
I told you,
I never got that message.
89
00:04:16,868 --> 00:04:20,734
Yeah, that doesn't bring
the cat back, does it?
90
00:04:20,801 --> 00:04:22,667
I can't believe
you're still
carrying that around.
91
00:04:22,734 --> 00:04:24,601
All right. Heads or tails?
What are you
talking about?
92
00:04:24,667 --> 00:04:27,000
Well, obviously, you two
can't work together.
Alan, call it.
93
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:29,000
Fran, we're fine.
Eat some clams.
94
00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:30,467
I'm not carrying
anything around.
95
00:04:30,534 --> 00:04:31,834
Good. Good.
96
00:04:33,601 --> 00:04:34,834
How's Ken?
97
00:04:34,901 --> 00:04:36,267
Who?
98
00:04:36,334 --> 00:04:37,801
Your husband...
99
00:04:37,868 --> 00:04:39,000
Paul.
100
00:04:39,067 --> 00:04:40,634
Paul.
How's-- How's Paul?
101
00:04:40,701 --> 00:04:43,300
He's-- He's wonderful.
How's Maria?
102
00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:45,701
My maid?
Whatever. How is she?
103
00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:49,033
She's fine.
Give me the pie.
104
00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:51,033
Okay. What have you kids
got for me?
105
00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:54,234
All righty. We've focused
the campaign on you, Ralphy.
106
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:57,000
We believe that the more
you personalize a campaign,
107
00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:58,400
the more people
will feel comfortable
108
00:04:58,467 --> 00:05:00,000
coming to your place
for dinner.
109
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:01,868
So we put your face
out there.
110
00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:04,968
People know you
and they--
they like you. What?
111
00:05:05,801 --> 00:05:07,067
What?
112
00:05:07,834 --> 00:05:09,534
You're breathing.
113
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:11,634
Yeah.
114
00:05:12,634 --> 00:05:14,467
Never mind. Okay.
115
00:05:14,534 --> 00:05:17,300
Anyway, Howard Johnson,
Colonel Sanders, Ralphy...
116
00:05:17,367 --> 00:05:19,601
Okay, nobody hears that
but me?
117
00:05:20,501 --> 00:05:22,167
I have sinuses.
118
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,133
Yeah, it's funny
how they only flare up
when he has something to say.
119
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,734
I don't-- I don't have
anything to say.
120
00:05:25,801 --> 00:05:27,334
Guys.
Okay. Never mind. So...
121
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,300
I would just, maybe,
consider perhaps
122
00:05:29,367 --> 00:05:31,200
going a slightly
different way.
123
00:05:31,267 --> 00:05:33,601
What way?
Well...
124
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,834
A puppy.
125
00:05:35,901 --> 00:05:37,133
A puppy?
126
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,934
Exactly.
127
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,501
Yeah. We want it
to say Ralphy.
Well, he could say Ralphy.
128
00:05:40,567 --> 00:05:42,400
He's a dog.
How can he say Ralphy?
129
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,601
I don't know.
130
00:05:43,667 --> 00:05:45,067
R-r-r-ralphy!
131
00:05:46,033 --> 00:05:47,601
Ralphy!
132
00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:48,901
What?
What?
133
00:05:48,968 --> 00:05:51,033
Guys.
I just don't see why
Ralphy can't say Ralphy?
134
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,367
Ralphy can say Ralphy.
I just think it might be
better "Ralphy!"
135
00:05:53,434 --> 00:05:55,300
Okay. Let's leave it
up to Ralphy.
136
00:05:55,367 --> 00:05:56,701
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
137
00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,767
Uh, whatever
you kids decide.
138
00:05:59,834 --> 00:06:01,634
I'm gonna go get you
some beets.
139
00:06:01,701 --> 00:06:02,734
And some pudding?
140
00:06:02,801 --> 00:06:05,300
Yeah, not pudding.
How about pudding?
141
00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:12,267
(YAWNING)
142
00:06:20,367 --> 00:06:22,434
(ALARM CLOCK RINGING)
143
00:06:25,634 --> 00:06:27,234
Good morning.
144
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:30,100
I don't feel rested
at all.
145
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:33,501
How was your filming?
146
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:35,067
Milky.
147
00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:37,767
What time you want me
to set the alarm for tonight?
148
00:06:37,834 --> 00:06:40,334
I got to be back
at the dairy at 6:00.
149
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,434
How are you gonna
do this all week?
150
00:06:42,501 --> 00:06:44,634
It's easy.
Sleep till dinner,
151
00:06:44,701 --> 00:06:46,267
and that feels
like breakfast.
152
00:06:46,334 --> 00:06:48,033
Then I shoot
till sunrise,
153
00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:49,367
that feels
like twilight.
154
00:06:49,434 --> 00:06:52,000
I come home for breakfast,
that feels like dinner.
155
00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:54,834
And I watch
a little Regis,
feels like Leno.
156
00:06:56,968 --> 00:06:58,267
And that works?
157
00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:01,033
No. I'll be dragging
my ass all week.
158
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:03,501
Hey, dig me.
I'm Arlene Francis.
159
00:07:05,701 --> 00:07:07,801
Good night.
Good night.
160
00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:09,901
(EXHALES)
161
00:07:11,267 --> 00:07:13,934
So, a funny thing
happened last night.
162
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,200
(LOUDER)
So, a funny thing
happened last night.
163
00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:18,367
What?
164
00:07:18,434 --> 00:07:20,534
I ran into Alan.
165
00:07:20,601 --> 00:07:22,467
Alan--Alan...
He-who-came-before-me Alan?
166
00:07:22,534 --> 00:07:23,601
Mmm-hmm.
Huh.
167
00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:25,400
Turns out
one of my clients hired him
168
00:07:25,467 --> 00:07:26,701
to do some
graphic design,
169
00:07:26,767 --> 00:07:27,968
so we're gonna be
working together.
170
00:07:28,033 --> 00:07:29,834
Ah, that's funny, huh?
171
00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:34,734
You don't have
a problem with that?
What?
172
00:07:34,801 --> 00:07:36,501
Just want to make sure
you're okay with that.
173
00:07:36,567 --> 00:07:38,667
Sure.
Really?
174
00:07:38,734 --> 00:07:39,901
Yeah.
175
00:07:42,067 --> 00:07:44,968
Because if you do
have a problem...
All right.
176
00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:48,601
Just look me
in the eye
177
00:07:48,667 --> 00:07:50,868
and tell me
you don't have
a problem with it.
178
00:07:54,701 --> 00:07:57,234
I don't have
a problem with that.
179
00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:58,534
Why not?
180
00:07:58,601 --> 00:08:01,033
Because I love you,
and I trust you,
181
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:03,467
and I haven't slept
in 42 hours.
182
00:08:03,534 --> 00:08:05,033
All right. All right.
I was just checking.
183
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:07,601
All right.
Pizza. Tuesday.
184
00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:10,167
I will be there.
All right.
185
00:08:10,234 --> 00:08:12,701
Should I have
a problem with this?
Thank you.
186
00:08:15,634 --> 00:08:17,467
Okay. Ralphy's...
187
00:08:17,534 --> 00:08:19,334
(BARKING) Or Ralphy's?
188
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:20,934
Where you gonna eat?
189
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,033
What about Chinese food?
That's not an option.
190
00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:27,000
Chinese sounds good.
Would you just
answer the question?
191
00:08:27,067 --> 00:08:28,234
I like the dog.
192
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,100
I like
the bald guy.
193
00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:32,200
FRAN: Come on, you guys,
why don't we use them both?
194
00:08:32,267 --> 00:08:33,667
That's a good idea.
We'll just forget the dog.
195
00:08:33,734 --> 00:08:34,934
(EXCLAIMS)
Oh, it was worth a shot.
196
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,000
Can you just
give it a try?
197
00:08:37,067 --> 00:08:38,834
Well, I'll go
start up some drawings.
198
00:08:38,901 --> 00:08:39,968
All right,
I'll write up the copy.
199
00:08:40,033 --> 00:08:41,367
I'm gonna go lie down.
200
00:08:41,434 --> 00:08:43,033
See, we're doing great.
201
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:45,300
Hey, we're doing fine.
202
00:08:45,367 --> 00:08:48,100
I'll call you later.
All right.
203
00:08:48,167 --> 00:08:50,667
See, would you like to admit
that you were wrong?
204
00:08:50,734 --> 00:08:51,901
LISA: About what?
Me and Alan.
205
00:08:51,968 --> 00:08:53,801
We are working
together beautifully.
206
00:08:53,868 --> 00:08:56,200
Yeah, just like Fishy
and Mr. Carmen.
207
00:08:56,267 --> 00:08:57,534
Who?
208
00:08:57,601 --> 00:08:58,701
My guppies.
209
00:08:58,767 --> 00:09:00,501
One minute
they're swimming around
210
00:09:00,567 --> 00:09:02,501
like the happiest
little pals on earth,
next thing you know,
211
00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:05,534
Fishy is bashing
Mr. Carmen's face
into the castle.
212
00:09:05,601 --> 00:09:07,434
When did you get fish?
213
00:09:07,501 --> 00:09:09,667
That's not the point.
There's a point?
214
00:09:09,734 --> 00:09:11,534
Yeah, you guys are
a walking time bomb.
215
00:09:11,601 --> 00:09:12,934
Lisa, that's not true.
216
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,400
Tick tick tick tick.
217
00:09:14,467 --> 00:09:16,234
We are completely
different people now.
218
00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:18,934
Our lives are
totally different.
I have my life. He has his.
219
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,734
I have my business.
He has his comic book.
220
00:09:20,801 --> 00:09:23,167
I have Paul.
He has no one.
221
00:09:23,234 --> 00:09:24,334
What comic book?
222
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,567
Uh, Mega something.
223
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:29,567
Hold on just
a cotton pickin' minute.
224
00:09:29,634 --> 00:09:31,801
Alan is Alan Tofsky?
Yeah.
225
00:09:31,868 --> 00:09:34,400
Mega Void Alan Tofsky?
That's it.
226
00:09:34,467 --> 00:09:36,634
Wow.
What?
227
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,534
My friend Mikey
over at Mikey's says
that it's gonna be huge.
228
00:09:39,601 --> 00:09:42,400
What's Mikey's?
It's a comic book joint
over on 6th.
229
00:09:42,467 --> 00:09:44,834
Would they have
this thing there now?
If there's any left.
230
00:09:44,901 --> 00:09:47,534
James, I'm telling you,
it's like they're saying
bigger than X-Men.
231
00:09:47,601 --> 00:09:49,534
All right. You know
what I'm gonna do?
232
00:09:49,601 --> 00:09:51,734
I'm gonna go buy a copy,
have it framed and
give it to Alan as a present.
233
00:09:51,801 --> 00:09:52,968
What do you say to that?
234
00:09:53,033 --> 00:09:55,367
Tick tick tick tick.
Oh, fine.
235
00:09:55,434 --> 00:09:57,400
Hey, I'll walk you over.
236
00:09:57,467 --> 00:09:59,601
Hey, what about me?
What about you?
237
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,167
I don't know.
238
00:10:08,467 --> 00:10:11,167
You know, I heard
the real Spider-Man
died in Vietnam.
239
00:10:12,467 --> 00:10:14,334
What real
Spider-Man?
240
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,167
Why do you always
question me?
241
00:10:17,234 --> 00:10:18,734
Hey, hey, hey,
look at this.
242
00:10:18,801 --> 00:10:20,167
I told you
it was big.
243
00:10:20,234 --> 00:10:21,267
Good for him.
244
00:10:21,334 --> 00:10:23,334
Ira.
Hey, Mikey.
245
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,901
James, Lisa,
this is Mikey.
246
00:10:24,968 --> 00:10:26,834
Hello.
Yeah.
247
00:10:26,901 --> 00:10:28,634
We've met,
haven't we?
248
00:10:28,701 --> 00:10:30,567
I don't think so.
249
00:10:30,634 --> 00:10:32,067
Huh.
250
00:10:32,133 --> 00:10:34,834
Do you know where
we can we find Mega Void?
First rack.
251
00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:36,501
Next to The Vulcans,
right?
Thanks.
252
00:10:36,567 --> 00:10:39,167
You know, we got
Alan Tofsky in
for a signing tomorrow.
253
00:10:39,234 --> 00:10:41,334
Yeah. Good for you.
254
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:42,934
(CHUCKLING)
255
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,501
Oh, Jughead,
what have you done now?
256
00:10:52,934 --> 00:10:54,400
I have nephews.
257
00:10:55,634 --> 00:10:57,367
IRA: Look at this.
258
00:10:57,434 --> 00:10:59,934
Mega Void One,Talon EmergesFrom Her Crypt.
259
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,300
Who's Talon?
Huh?
260
00:11:02,367 --> 00:11:04,434
Near as I can tell,
the evil queen
of the universe.
261
00:11:04,501 --> 00:11:06,701
Let me see.
No, it's not that hot.
262
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,267
Hey, let's go
get Chinese.
263
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,234
Chinese. That sounds good.
What is the matter
with you two?
264
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:12,067
Hey, look at this.
265
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,367
Oh.
266
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:43,334
Wow.
I know.
267
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,767
Queen Talon.
268
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:46,634
She's just evil.
269
00:11:48,367 --> 00:11:51,434
That's got to hurt.
270
00:11:51,501 --> 00:11:55,334
I mean, all he did was
ask not to be used
as breeding stock.
271
00:11:56,334 --> 00:11:57,567
This is not good.
272
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,067
Tell me about it.
273
00:11:59,133 --> 00:12:00,334
Here's what I think.
274
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,200
I'm her husband.
You're her best friend.
So?
275
00:12:02,267 --> 00:12:03,868
So, I'm gonna leave town
276
00:12:03,934 --> 00:12:05,801
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
and you call me the minute
she's over this.
277
00:12:05,868 --> 00:12:07,534
Forget about it.
278
00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:11,701
Why would she wear
a bathing suit
to an execution?
279
00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:13,534
That's not
a bathing suit,
it's a thing.
280
00:12:13,601 --> 00:12:14,801
It's like
a combination
281
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:17,400
breastplate,
force field
kind of...
282
00:12:17,467 --> 00:12:19,567
You know,
thongy thing.
283
00:12:19,634 --> 00:12:21,801
It's functional,
yet fabulous.
284
00:12:22,834 --> 00:12:23,901
Hi.
Hi.
285
00:12:23,968 --> 00:12:26,367
How you doing?
Great. Oh, you saw it.
286
00:12:26,434 --> 00:12:28,100
Yeah.
Aren't I evil?
287
00:12:28,167 --> 00:12:30,100
Well, I wouldn't say evil
exactly.
Honey, come on.
288
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:32,534
I mean,
a little testy maybe.
Please, I'm pretty bad.
289
00:12:32,601 --> 00:12:34,868
You know what, sweetie?
I got recognized
at school today.
290
00:12:34,934 --> 00:12:36,667
Really?
All the way
across the quad.
291
00:12:36,734 --> 00:12:39,167
"Talon, Talon, Talon!"
292
00:12:40,601 --> 00:12:42,100
You aren't bothered
by this?
293
00:12:42,167 --> 00:12:43,634
No. There was
that one sophomore
I dismembered,
294
00:12:43,701 --> 00:12:45,834
but what the heck,
a girl's got to eat.
295
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,901
Guys, come on.
I'm kidding.
296
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:51,033
I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm fine.
297
00:12:53,601 --> 00:12:55,300
I wonder how
Cat Woman's husband
would deal with this.
298
00:12:55,367 --> 00:12:56,767
Talk to her!
299
00:12:56,834 --> 00:12:59,133
Sweetie? You know what?
You seem a little upset.
300
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:00,901
What did I just say?
301
00:13:00,968 --> 00:13:02,434
Yeah, all right.
Very good.
302
00:13:02,501 --> 00:13:03,801
Do you-- Do you
want me to go
hit this guy?
303
00:13:03,868 --> 00:13:04,968
Oh, for what?
304
00:13:05,067 --> 00:13:08,033
Was the Mona Lisa
upset at Da Vinci?
305
00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:10,534
Granted she never
crushed a planet
between her thighs,
306
00:13:10,601 --> 00:13:12,701
but, then again,
how do I know that?
Maybe she did.
307
00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:14,701
Maybe that's why
she was smiling.
308
00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:16,434
Honey, it's a joke.
I'm fine.
309
00:13:16,501 --> 00:13:19,434
If I weren't fine,
could I be
this funny?
310
00:13:19,501 --> 00:13:20,934
Okay, here's what.
311
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,901
Alan always had
to have the last word,
and this is it.
312
00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:24,834
He didn't always
have to publish it,
313
00:13:24,901 --> 00:13:26,634
but if this is
what he had to,
this is what he had to do.
314
00:13:26,701 --> 00:13:27,901
I'm fine.
315
00:13:27,968 --> 00:13:30,467
Do we have any yogurt?
I think we're all out.
316
00:13:30,534 --> 00:13:33,133
How can we be "out"?
I thought you were a milkman.
317
00:13:35,868 --> 00:13:37,167
You go.
You go.
318
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,033
(GROANS)
319
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:41,167
Okay, sweetie,
don't do this...
What?
320
00:13:41,234 --> 00:13:44,167
The "fine" thing.
I've seen this on you.
It's not pretty.
321
00:13:44,234 --> 00:13:45,701
All right, what
would you like me to do?
322
00:13:45,767 --> 00:13:47,701
Just, like, a-admit
that you're angry.
323
00:13:47,767 --> 00:13:49,934
No, no.
I'm not gonna give him
the satisfaction.
324
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,567
Yeah, but he ain't here,
and I'm the one in the path
of unpleasantries.
325
00:13:53,634 --> 00:13:57,200
Well, excuse me
for trying to take
the high ground.
326
00:13:57,267 --> 00:14:00,000
What high ground?
The high ground.
327
00:14:00,067 --> 00:14:02,767
Hey, babe,
you have webbed feet.
328
00:14:02,834 --> 00:14:04,834
Only when I need them.
329
00:14:04,901 --> 00:14:06,367
Okay, still.
I--I--I don't think
it's a compliment.
330
00:14:06,434 --> 00:14:07,501
It could be.
How?
331
00:14:07,567 --> 00:14:10,067
Because I say so
and I can melt you.
332
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,501
All right.
Hey, don't eat now.
333
00:14:13,567 --> 00:14:15,400
Why not?
What day is it?
334
00:14:15,467 --> 00:14:16,601
Tuesday.
What time is it?
335
00:14:16,667 --> 00:14:18,467
I don't know. It's 4:45.
336
00:14:18,534 --> 00:14:20,067
Yeah. So?
So?
337
00:14:20,133 --> 00:14:21,200
Pizza date.
338
00:14:21,267 --> 00:14:22,634
Oh, I'm really not
in the mood.
339
00:14:22,701 --> 00:14:24,267
Too bad.
We wrote it down.
340
00:14:24,334 --> 00:14:26,000
Come on,
want to call Carbone's?
341
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:28,033
No. That delivery guy
always wants to use
our bathroom.
342
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,067
What is that about?
343
00:14:30,133 --> 00:14:31,334
You know, I'm just gonna
run down to the corner
and pick it up.
344
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,267
All right, I'll put on
way too much cologne.
345
00:14:33,334 --> 00:14:34,467
I'll be back
in 10 minutes.
346
00:14:34,534 --> 00:14:35,734
All right. Fran, she's fine.
Really?
347
00:14:35,801 --> 00:14:37,300
No, but it's your turn.
348
00:14:37,367 --> 00:14:38,767
Fran, you want to
walk me to the corner?
349
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:40,000
Sure.
350
00:14:41,367 --> 00:14:43,167
Hey, James.
How you doing?
351
00:14:43,234 --> 00:14:44,834
Good. We're just running...
Pap, pap, pap, pap, pap.
352
00:14:44,901 --> 00:14:47,434
One thing, all right?
It's totally up to you.
353
00:14:47,501 --> 00:14:49,200
But, I was talking
to this buddy of mine,
354
00:14:49,267 --> 00:14:51,133
who does these, like,
these comic book conventions,
right?
355
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,200
And again,
totally up to you.
356
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,234
But, if we wanted to
make extra money,
you know...
357
00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:56,734
I mean, just, you now,
taking your picture
358
00:14:56,801 --> 00:14:58,033
with the people.
Stuff like that...
359
00:14:58,100 --> 00:14:59,267
No.
Totally up to you.
360
00:14:59,334 --> 00:15:00,667
I know. I know.
Easy money. Really easy...
361
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:03,567
I think you should move.
Okay, so you'll
think about it.
362
00:15:07,033 --> 00:15:08,567
Maybe you should
just go talk to Alan.
363
00:15:08,634 --> 00:15:10,667
I'm not gonna give him
the satisfaction.
364
00:15:10,734 --> 00:15:12,200
He wasn't home.
365
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,901
Come on, honey.
366
00:15:18,968 --> 00:15:20,467
Hank, come on.
367
00:15:21,934 --> 00:15:24,033
(SCREAMS)
You coming or not?
368
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:32,801
Do me a favor,
talk to him.
Get it off your chest.
369
00:15:32,868 --> 00:15:37,133
Which chest?
My little human chest or
my big, huge Mega Void chest?
370
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,667
James.
Where is this thing?
371
00:15:38,734 --> 00:15:40,100
Paul has to leave
by 6:00.
372
00:15:40,167 --> 00:15:41,534
Hello, excuse me.
373
00:15:43,968 --> 00:15:45,767
Hey!
What?
374
00:15:45,834 --> 00:15:47,200
Vinnie,
come look at this!
375
00:15:47,267 --> 00:15:49,400
How much do I owe you?
376
00:15:49,467 --> 00:15:51,467
Who does she
remind you of?
377
00:15:52,501 --> 00:15:54,000
I don't know.
378
00:15:54,067 --> 00:15:55,534
Come on. Look.
379
00:15:57,601 --> 00:15:58,834
Hey!
380
00:15:58,901 --> 00:16:00,200
Okay, here's a $20.
381
00:16:00,267 --> 00:16:01,701
Uncle Angelo,
get out here!
382
00:16:01,767 --> 00:16:03,901
Can I get my change?
And bring the camera!
383
00:16:03,968 --> 00:16:05,100
You know,
I got a space open.
384
00:16:05,167 --> 00:16:07,501
Right between Alan Alda
and Brenda Vaccaro.
385
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:08,934
Hey, look, it's Talon.
386
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,267
Okay,
I'll see you later.
387
00:16:10,334 --> 00:16:12,934
Where are you going?
To destroy my creator.
388
00:16:18,033 --> 00:16:20,667
Excuse me. I'm sorry.
Just excuse me.
389
00:16:20,734 --> 00:16:21,767
Sorry. Excuse me
for one second.
390
00:16:21,834 --> 00:16:22,968
Hey, lady, there's a line.
391
00:16:23,033 --> 00:16:24,701
I know, I just have to...
Oh!
392
00:16:24,767 --> 00:16:27,300
Sorry, your majesty.
Go ahead.
393
00:16:27,367 --> 00:16:28,868
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
394
00:16:28,934 --> 00:16:30,167
Uh, A-Alan.
395
00:16:30,234 --> 00:16:31,400
Hey, you're here.
396
00:16:31,467 --> 00:16:32,934
Yeah. Listen.
Obviously you...
397
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,667
No, no, no.
I mean, no, that's
a really cool gesture.
398
00:16:35,734 --> 00:16:37,133
What?
399
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,501
Oh, when you think of
where we were
five years ago,
400
00:16:38,567 --> 00:16:40,601
or even last week,
and now you're coming
to my signing.
401
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,400
I mean, good for us, huh?
402
00:16:42,467 --> 00:16:44,067
Good for who?
403
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:46,200
Whom.
Don't do that!
404
00:16:46,267 --> 00:16:49,434
You always did that to me.
Do you have any idea
how annoying that is?
405
00:16:49,501 --> 00:16:51,634
All right,
what's the matter with you?
406
00:16:51,701 --> 00:16:53,033
What's the matter
with me?
407
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,567
Yeah.
Thanks for coming.
408
00:16:54,634 --> 00:16:56,868
What's the matter
with me?
409
00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:58,567
Yeah. Hi.
What's your name?
Hey.
410
00:16:58,634 --> 00:17:00,167
This. This is the matter
with me.
What? What?
411
00:17:00,234 --> 00:17:03,100
This. Her. Her.
412
00:17:03,167 --> 00:17:04,334
She looks
a little like you.
413
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,968
Yeah, that seems
to be the consensus.
414
00:17:08,067 --> 00:17:10,234
Hmm. What do you
make of that?
415
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:14,801
Alan, please! This whole comic
is like our relationship
but in outer space!
416
00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:17,567
Where do you
get that?
417
00:17:17,634 --> 00:17:19,267
Are you kidding?
Right here!
418
00:17:19,334 --> 00:17:21,701
Okay. That time that
we went to pick up
the rent-a-car,
419
00:17:21,767 --> 00:17:23,467
and found out
you forgot to
make the reservation.
420
00:17:23,534 --> 00:17:25,601
And you screamed at me
in front of that little family
from Georgia?
421
00:17:25,667 --> 00:17:27,567
Fine. So then,
we turn to page 14.
422
00:17:27,634 --> 00:17:30,267
"The Centurian general
forgets to fetch
Talon's scepter,
423
00:17:30,334 --> 00:17:33,100
"and she peels back
the layers of his brain!"
424
00:17:33,167 --> 00:17:34,734
Hi.
425
00:17:34,801 --> 00:17:36,200
I don't see it.
Okay, great.
426
00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:37,567
Then there's that time
on the subway
427
00:17:37,634 --> 00:17:40,234
when I simply requested
that you stop humming.
428
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:43,200
Terrific. Now,
we turn to page 36.
429
00:17:43,267 --> 00:17:45,133
"Talon rips out
the tongue of her slave
430
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,267
"for singing out of tune."
431
00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:50,100
Oh. Sure, yeah.
How could I miss that?
432
00:17:50,167 --> 00:17:52,434
Are you kidding me?
It's all here!
433
00:17:52,501 --> 00:17:55,501
I take a drink
of your orange juice
at some diner,
434
00:17:55,567 --> 00:17:58,300
she sucks the life force
from his soul.
435
00:17:58,367 --> 00:18:00,033
I accidently burn
a little hole in your sweater,
436
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:02,767
she destroys
the planet Cardigan!
437
00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:04,868
Face it, Alan.
You always had to
have the last word.
438
00:18:04,934 --> 00:18:07,601
Well, you know what?
You can't.
The last word was goodbye.
439
00:18:07,667 --> 00:18:09,200
I said it to you
five years ago.
440
00:18:09,267 --> 00:18:10,567
I'm saying it again now.
441
00:18:10,634 --> 00:18:13,400
Please try to remember it
this time.
442
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,367
Goodbye.
No, no, no.
See that?
443
00:18:15,434 --> 00:18:18,400
You're not following.
I say goodbye, not you.
444
00:18:18,467 --> 00:18:20,200
Goodbye.
445
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:21,434
Okay.
446
00:18:22,834 --> 00:18:24,300
I said goodbye.
447
00:18:25,067 --> 00:18:26,200
See ya.
448
00:18:28,234 --> 00:18:29,901
Goodbye, Alan.
449
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:33,434
Take care.
450
00:18:39,267 --> 00:18:40,567
Goodbye.
451
00:18:45,567 --> 00:18:47,467
Ladies and gentlemen,
Queen Talon.
452
00:18:47,534 --> 00:18:49,334
Move out. Move out.
453
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,901
(SCREAMS)
454
00:18:56,634 --> 00:18:58,968
Where did you go?
You've been gone,
like, two hours.
455
00:18:59,033 --> 00:19:01,634
Let me ask you
something.
Tell me the truth.
456
00:19:01,701 --> 00:19:03,801
Do you think I'm evil?
457
00:19:03,868 --> 00:19:06,267
No. Where is the pizza?
458
00:19:06,334 --> 00:19:07,801
What?
459
00:19:07,868 --> 00:19:10,501
Oh. I don't know.
They were out.
460
00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:12,868
Really. I won't be mad.
When you think about me,
461
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:16,501
do you think
I'm basically good
or basically wicked?
462
00:19:16,567 --> 00:19:18,801
The-- The first thing
you said.
463
00:19:18,868 --> 00:19:20,000
What do you mean
they were out?
464
00:19:20,067 --> 00:19:21,267
They were out.
Of pizza?
465
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:22,601
Yeah.
466
00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:25,267
The pizza place
was out of pizza?
Yeah.
467
00:19:25,334 --> 00:19:27,234
How could a pizza place...
They just were.
468
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,801
So in no way
do you see me
469
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:32,467
as any kind of
malevolent force
of destruction?
470
00:19:32,534 --> 00:19:34,133
What're you
doing to yourself?
471
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,534
I've just am
thinking about Alan
and-- and when I was with him,
472
00:19:37,601 --> 00:19:40,934
and I don't know,
maybe I was
a little bit like that.
473
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,667
I don't know you with him,
I only know you with me.
474
00:19:43,734 --> 00:19:45,834
And?
I like you.
475
00:19:46,901 --> 00:19:49,300
Okay?
Okay.
476
00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:50,634
All right.
477
00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:54,400
So, you go
into the pizza place,
478
00:19:54,467 --> 00:19:55,501
you say,
"I'd like to buy a pizza..."
479
00:19:55,567 --> 00:19:56,868
You have to let this go.
480
00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:58,601
See, this is what I'm...
481
00:19:58,667 --> 00:20:01,133
'Cause now I have
a hankering for pizza,
I'm all worked up for pizza,
482
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,434
I have no pizza.
483
00:20:03,501 --> 00:20:05,934
Although.
Look how smart I am.
484
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,167
You got your English muffins,
you got your cheese,
485
00:20:08,234 --> 00:20:10,300
you got your tomato sauce.
Honey,
what are you doing?
486
00:20:10,367 --> 00:20:11,601
We're gonna improvise
a little pizza.
487
00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:14,033
It's after 6:00.
I know. But we had a date.
488
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:15,200
You have
your filming.
489
00:20:15,267 --> 00:20:18,100
It's all right.
The milk will keep.
490
00:20:18,167 --> 00:20:20,567
Besides, I'd rather
be with you.
491
00:20:20,634 --> 00:20:22,000
Really?
Yeah.
492
00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:23,767
Now, here's what you do.
It's all in the flipping.
493
00:20:23,834 --> 00:20:25,100
That's what
makes the pizza, see?
494
00:20:25,167 --> 00:20:26,868
(SCATTING)
495
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:30,100
You sing a song,
a folk tune of some sort.
496
00:20:30,167 --> 00:20:32,200
(SCATTING)
497
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,667
(JAMIE LAUGHING MALICIOUSLY)
498
00:20:39,667 --> 00:20:42,100
(JAMIE'S VOICE)
All right. The party's over.
499
00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:45,234
Bye-bye.
500
00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:50,200
(ALAN'S VOICE) See?
What?
501
00:20:50,267 --> 00:20:51,367
Tell me
that wasn't evil.
502
00:20:51,434 --> 00:20:53,968
I'm not evil.
503
00:20:54,033 --> 00:20:55,868
Face it, babe,
you got a nasty streak.
504
00:20:57,100 --> 00:20:58,467
Actually, I'm sensitive...
505
00:20:58,534 --> 00:21:01,567
(EXCLAIMING)
Caring... Insightful...
506
00:21:01,634 --> 00:21:03,934
Ambitious,
but not obnoxiously so.
507
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,501
Fun. Patient.
508
00:21:05,567 --> 00:21:07,868
Do you realize
how annoying that is?
509
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:09,667
What?
What am I doing?
510
00:21:09,734 --> 00:21:13,033
You know, I like you better
when you're
passive-aggressive.
511
00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:17,067
(SCREAMING)
You're overreacting!
512
00:21:19,634 --> 00:21:21,367
Now, who am I gonna
have dinner with?
513
00:21:22,567 --> 00:21:23,767
(PAUL'S VOICE)
So, you through?
514
00:21:23,834 --> 00:21:25,400
Don't incur my wrath.
515
00:21:25,467 --> 00:21:27,234
(CLINKING)
Oh, yeah.
I'm real scared.
516
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:29,000
Hey, don't you want
to get out of that thing?
517
00:21:29,067 --> 00:21:30,868
Don't touch the armor.
518
00:21:30,934 --> 00:21:32,567
You know,
you're really rather cute.
519
00:21:32,634 --> 00:21:34,501
I'm not cute. I'm evil.
520
00:21:34,567 --> 00:21:36,400
Not on my planet, babe.
521
00:21:39,901 --> 00:21:41,501
How did you do that?
522
00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:43,501
Nothing to it.
523
00:21:43,567 --> 00:21:44,767
So, let me
understand this.
524
00:21:44,834 --> 00:21:46,200
You walk into
the pizza place...
525
00:21:46,267 --> 00:21:48,000
You have to
let this go.
526
00:21:52,801 --> 00:21:54,300
Yeah.
527
00:21:54,367 --> 00:21:56,834
I... Well,
let me ask her.
528
00:21:56,901 --> 00:21:58,567
My mother
wants to know,
529
00:21:58,634 --> 00:22:00,801
why would you destroy
the Province of Rivers
530
00:22:00,868 --> 00:22:02,868
if you knew that
they had all the Zargon?
531
00:22:02,934 --> 00:22:05,701
Because Zargon is useless
without a silver key.
532
00:22:05,767 --> 00:22:06,868
There you go.
You hear that?
533
00:22:06,934 --> 00:22:09,801
Zargon is useless
without a silver key.
534
00:22:09,868 --> 00:22:11,367
Let me ask her.
Okay.
535
00:22:11,434 --> 00:22:12,968
Is it true that
your ability to morph
536
00:22:13,033 --> 00:22:15,033
was actually a gift
from King Bannick?
537
00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:16,667
I've never even met
King Bannick.
538
00:22:16,734 --> 00:22:19,534
It's just a rumor.
She never met him.
539
00:22:19,601 --> 00:22:21,868
She never... She says...
She just told me.
540
00:22:21,934 --> 00:22:24,167
'Cause rumors... Look,
you know how rumors are.
541
00:22:24,234 --> 00:22:25,901
Rumors just...
No, King Bannick...
40865
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