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1
00:00:01,702 --> 00:00:04,671
Shel and I were
backyard sweethearts,
2
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:06,267
soul mates.
3
00:00:06,334 --> 00:00:07,871
Gross.
See ya.
4
00:00:07,937 --> 00:00:10,408
Sexual conquistadors.
5
00:00:10,475 --> 00:00:11,553
I'm back.
6
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:12,999
But then I got lost.
7
00:00:13,065 --> 00:00:15,534
Maybe I can help you
find your way, wink, wink.
8
00:00:15,601 --> 00:00:18,371
The journey back has been
long and hard.
9
00:00:18,437 --> 00:00:21,173
Speaking of, do you know
what a cloaca is?
10
00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:22,808
Would you like to see one?
11
00:00:22,875 --> 00:00:26,679
But now, after 15 years,
I feel I'm almost home.
12
00:00:26,746 --> 00:00:29,248
It's a seagull's pe
wait a minute.
13
00:00:29,315 --> 00:00:33,252
It took you 15 years to get
from this yard to that yard?
14
00:00:33,319 --> 00:00:34,654
Whoo!
Good thing you're hot.
15
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,424
And I never, ever gave up,
just like I'm sure
16
00:00:38,491 --> 00:00:40,526
Shel never gave up on me.
17
00:00:40,593 --> 00:00:42,695
And now, we can finally
be together!
18
00:00:42,762 --> 00:00:46,198
Guess who's getting
married tomorrow?
19
00:00:46,265 --> 00:00:48,868
Me!
20
00:00:48,935 --> 00:00:51,804
[upbeat music]
21
00:00:51,871 --> 00:00:54,974
[all barking musically]
22
00:00:55,041 --> 00:01:01,914
♪ ♪
23
00:01:03,649 --> 00:01:06,852
[all barking or meowing
musically]
24
00:01:06,919 --> 00:01:13,893
♪ ♪
25
00:01:22,034 --> 00:01:26,038
Ee...
26
00:01:29,275 --> 00:01:30,576
Oh, good.
Okay, you're done.
27
00:01:30,643 --> 00:01:32,812
And we still have a few minutes
left of the session.
28
00:01:32,878 --> 00:01:34,380
Sorry, I just can't believe
29
00:01:34,447 --> 00:01:36,816
I'm about to marry
the shoe of my dreams,
30
00:01:36,882 --> 00:01:39,785
but I confess, my excitement
for the impending nuptials
31
00:01:39,852 --> 00:01:42,521
has turned me
into a bit of groomzilla.
32
00:01:42,588 --> 00:01:45,424
You call this a place setting?
33
00:01:45,491 --> 00:01:47,393
Ew, tastes like garbage.
34
00:01:47,460 --> 00:01:50,529
Sometimes those kind
of big emotions
35
00:01:50,596 --> 00:01:52,865
are our way of burying doubts
36
00:01:52,932 --> 00:01:55,601
we may have
about important life decisions.
37
00:01:55,668 --> 00:01:58,537
Once again, Honey,
you've seen right through me.
38
00:01:58,604 --> 00:02:01,240
Keep talking.
I have to confess.
39
00:02:01,307 --> 00:02:02,708
I was up all night
40
00:02:02,775 --> 00:02:06,379
wondering if I'm making
a big mistake with Lindsay...
41
00:02:06,445 --> 00:02:10,049
by having our wedding color
be forest green.
42
00:02:10,116 --> 00:02:11,550
Is it too on the nose?
43
00:02:11,617 --> 00:02:14,687
I was talking about
a bigger life decision.
44
00:02:15,688 --> 00:02:17,857
Anyone else want
to jump in here?
45
00:02:17,923 --> 00:02:18,691
Shel, I'm sorry.
46
00:02:18,758 --> 00:02:20,192
I can't come
to your bachelor party.
47
00:02:20,259 --> 00:02:21,927
I have to stay home
and take care of the kittens.
48
00:02:21,994 --> 00:02:24,163
Their real bummer is, Kevin's
being a total deadbeat dad
49
00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:25,865
not helping to raise
these little trouble makers.
50
00:02:25,931 --> 00:02:28,501
You think your human, Kevin,
is the father?
51
00:02:28,567 --> 00:02:30,503
Well, I've gone over
all the possible scenarios
52
00:02:30,569 --> 00:02:32,304
of how this miracle pregnancy
could have happened.
53
00:02:32,371 --> 00:02:34,740
[purrs]
[yowls]
54
00:02:34,807 --> 00:02:36,042
[meows]
55
00:02:36,108 --> 00:02:37,176
[yowls]
56
00:02:37,243 --> 00:02:39,145
[purrs]
57
00:02:39,211 --> 00:02:40,446
Oh, hey, dude.
58
00:02:40,513 --> 00:02:41,881
You want to do
that thing again?
59
00:02:41,947 --> 00:02:43,149
Growl.
60
00:02:43,215 --> 00:02:44,350
Yeah, it's got to be Kevin.
61
00:02:44,417 --> 00:02:45,818
I have a request.
62
00:02:45,885 --> 00:02:48,621
Honey, you've always been there
for Lindsay and me.
63
00:02:48,687 --> 00:02:52,925
So would you do us the honor
of officiating our wedding?
64
00:02:52,992 --> 00:02:54,260
Oh, Shel.
65
00:02:54,326 --> 00:02:56,228
I know you're not
legally licensed,
66
00:02:56,295 --> 00:02:59,432
but you're not legally licensed
to be a therapist either,
67
00:02:59,498 --> 00:03:01,367
and we've been doing
great work here.
68
00:03:01,434 --> 00:03:03,302
Mm...
It got me where I am today.
69
00:03:03,369 --> 00:03:06,105
Oh, it has?
Oh, dear.
70
00:03:06,172 --> 00:03:10,076
Okay, Shel, before I can agree
to officiate,
71
00:03:10,142 --> 00:03:11,510
we'll need to set
72
00:03:11,577 --> 00:03:15,514
a premarital couple's session
for you and Lindsay.
73
00:03:15,581 --> 00:03:17,516
Oh, we'll be having several,
74
00:03:17,583 --> 00:03:20,119
and you're more than welcome
to join.
75
00:03:20,186 --> 00:03:21,720
I mean couple's counseling.
76
00:03:21,787 --> 00:03:22,455
Oh.
77
00:03:22,521 --> 00:03:25,291
Well, the offer still stands.
78
00:03:25,357 --> 00:03:28,494
[bright music]
79
00:03:28,561 --> 00:03:30,129
I won't lie to you, Honey.
80
00:03:30,196 --> 00:03:31,664
We find it a little silly
81
00:03:31,730 --> 00:03:33,499
to have to jump
through this hoop.
82
00:03:33,566 --> 00:03:36,936
I obviously haven't been
this happy in, what, 15 years?
83
00:03:37,002 --> 00:03:38,537
Since about the time
Darla left?
84
00:03:38,604 --> 00:03:40,639
Yes, but that's history,
85
00:03:40,706 --> 00:03:43,242
and what could be healthier
than moving on?
86
00:03:43,309 --> 00:03:44,443
Hmm, fair enough.
87
00:03:44,510 --> 00:03:46,312
Lindsay, how are you feeling
88
00:03:46,378 --> 00:03:47,813
about your relationship
right now?
89
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:50,516
She didn't come here
to be interrogated!
90
00:03:50,583 --> 00:03:52,718
Besides, I know
what's in her heart and I know
91
00:03:52,785 --> 00:03:56,255
I'm going to be the happiest
tortoise in the universe
92
00:03:56,322 --> 00:03:58,224
when I see her
walking down the aisle.
93
00:03:58,290 --> 00:03:59,425
Hold on.
94
00:03:59,492 --> 00:04:02,094
You expect her
to walk down the aisle.
95
00:04:02,161 --> 00:04:03,529
[laughs]
Of course.
96
00:04:03,596 --> 00:04:06,365
Okay, Honey.
This is your chance.
97
00:04:06,432 --> 00:04:08,901
He'll thank you in the future.
98
00:04:08,968 --> 00:04:10,636
And so on
this happy occasion,
99
00:04:10,703 --> 00:04:13,405
in front of my family
and secret family,
100
00:04:13,472 --> 00:04:16,175
I want to thank the wise
yet humble dog
101
00:04:16,242 --> 00:04:19,745
who helped me accept reality
all those years ago
102
00:04:19,812 --> 00:04:23,749
when a certain shoe bride
failed to walk down the aisle,
103
00:04:23,816 --> 00:04:27,987
my therapist and commander,
Honey.
104
00:04:28,053 --> 00:04:28,921
Thank you, Shel.
105
00:04:28,988 --> 00:04:30,656
I just wanted you
to have real love
106
00:04:30,723 --> 00:04:32,825
with somebody
who loved you back.
107
00:04:32,892 --> 00:04:35,394
But we have an incursion
in the Delta Quadrant.
108
00:04:35,461 --> 00:04:37,196
Prepare to engage.
109
00:04:37,263 --> 00:04:40,099
[whirring]
110
00:04:40,166 --> 00:04:41,934
[exciting music]
111
00:04:42,001 --> 00:04:43,369
Move out!
112
00:04:43,435 --> 00:04:44,637
This is for all the pets
who died
113
00:04:44,703 --> 00:04:47,139
before we could live forever!
114
00:04:47,206 --> 00:04:50,209
♪ ♪
115
00:04:50,276 --> 00:04:51,677
Shel, Lindsay,
116
00:04:51,744 --> 00:04:54,446
I would love to facilitate
the merging of your bio force
117
00:04:54,513 --> 00:04:57,249
I mean, to officiate
your wedding.
118
00:04:57,316 --> 00:04:58,350
Huzzah!
119
00:04:58,417 --> 00:04:59,919
And, of course, tradition holds
120
00:04:59,985 --> 00:05:02,621
that you'll also throw
her bachelorette party.
121
00:05:02,688 --> 00:05:04,256
I don't think that's
Wonderful.
122
00:05:04,323 --> 00:05:06,192
I'll just leave her here.
123
00:05:07,393 --> 00:05:09,328
"Hello,
welcome to the wedding
124
00:05:09,395 --> 00:05:10,863
"of Shel and Lindsay,
125
00:05:10,930 --> 00:05:14,600
or as I like to call her,
the Can't Runaway Bride."
126
00:05:14,667 --> 00:05:15,634
Pause for laughs.
127
00:05:15,834 --> 00:05:18,170
Oh, wait, I shouldn't start out
with a joke that strong.
128
00:05:18,237 --> 00:05:21,006
I'll save it for when Shel's
ready to laugh about this.
129
00:05:21,073 --> 00:05:22,308
"What is love?
130
00:05:22,374 --> 00:05:24,476
Is love a verb? Is it a noun?"
[slurping]
131
00:05:24,543 --> 00:05:27,313
Yeah, you're
you're losing 'em, Honey.
132
00:05:27,379 --> 00:05:28,814
You want some help?
Really?
133
00:05:28,881 --> 00:05:32,084
I'd like that, yeah.
What would you say about love?
134
00:05:32,151 --> 00:05:34,286
Lovelove is a feeling.
135
00:05:34,353 --> 00:05:37,356
It's like...
[sighs contentedly]
136
00:05:37,423 --> 00:05:38,390
You know what I mean?
137
00:05:38,457 --> 00:05:40,359
Yeah, I think I do,
138
00:05:40,426 --> 00:05:41,961
but how would you phrase that?
139
00:05:42,027 --> 00:05:42,728
It's like...
140
00:05:42,795 --> 00:05:44,563
[groans]
Does that make sense?
141
00:05:44,630 --> 00:05:46,532
I mean, I get it,
but I'm just not sure
142
00:05:46,599 --> 00:05:48,934
everyone else at the wedding
is going to understand.
143
00:05:49,001 --> 00:05:51,704
I mean, there's going to be
birds there, so...
144
00:05:51,770 --> 00:05:52,871
yeah, I'll figure it out.
145
00:05:52,938 --> 00:05:53,639
You go have fun.
146
00:05:53,706 --> 00:05:55,407
Okay, cool.
Yeah, yeah.
147
00:05:55,474 --> 00:05:57,343
Tonight's bachelor party
is gonna be like
148
00:05:57,409 --> 00:06:00,145
[burbling]
You know?
149
00:06:00,212 --> 00:06:03,482
Oh, yeah, yeah, I mean,
the bachelorette party
150
00:06:03,549 --> 00:06:06,819
is going to be
♪ Bow chicka wow wow bop ♪
151
00:06:06,885 --> 00:06:10,222
Okay, well, now you're
just talking gibberish.
152
00:06:10,289 --> 00:06:13,192
[upbeat music]
153
00:06:13,259 --> 00:06:15,661
Okay, everyone ready?
154
00:06:15,728 --> 00:06:18,230
Tonight is gonna be
full of surprises.
155
00:06:18,297 --> 00:06:20,466
I knew you were my guy.
156
00:06:20,532 --> 00:06:22,434
Well, I'll tell you what's
really full of surprises:
157
00:06:22,501 --> 00:06:25,371
the trash cans outside
of Nicky Cage's house.
158
00:06:25,437 --> 00:06:27,072
Got you again, Jeffrey!
159
00:06:27,139 --> 00:06:30,376
Oh, "Moonstruck" feels like
a lifetime ago.
160
00:06:30,442 --> 00:06:34,747
Multiple trash cans.
Must be nice.
161
00:06:34,813 --> 00:06:39,519
Okay, fellas, you ready
for some chills and thrills?
162
00:06:39,586 --> 00:06:41,371
[all scream]
Good news, fellas.
163
00:06:41,437 --> 00:06:44,841
Kevin gave away all my kittens,
so now I'm free to hang out.
164
00:06:44,908 --> 00:06:47,177
Dude, I'm sorry.
Are you okay?
165
00:06:47,243 --> 00:06:50,046
Yeah, it was a lot of work.
Bachelor party!
166
00:06:50,113 --> 00:06:52,749
Whee!
[burbling]
167
00:06:52,816 --> 00:06:54,784
Now, you're
probably wondering
168
00:06:54,851 --> 00:06:56,052
why we met in the woods.
169
00:06:56,119 --> 00:06:58,288
Because you have
a sinister plan
170
00:06:58,354 --> 00:06:59,756
and don't want any witnesses?
171
00:06:59,823 --> 00:07:03,259
What? What?
[cackles]
172
00:07:03,326 --> 00:07:04,427
No!
173
00:07:04,494 --> 00:07:06,196
We came out here to
174
00:07:06,262 --> 00:07:07,697
fast boombooms, Tchotchke.
175
00:07:07,764 --> 00:07:08,932
[tapping]
176
00:07:08,998 --> 00:07:11,835
Lick toad.
[all gasp]
177
00:07:11,901 --> 00:07:13,770
Gentlemen, this is Cane.
178
00:07:13,837 --> 00:07:15,638
Cane, these are the boys.
179
00:07:15,705 --> 00:07:20,510
Now, licking Cane will set us
all up for a wild night.
180
00:07:20,577 --> 00:07:22,512
Ah, I love licking things.
181
00:07:22,579 --> 00:07:25,715
I'm equal part terrified
and scared.
182
00:07:25,782 --> 00:07:27,350
All right, settle down.
183
00:07:27,417 --> 00:07:30,286
First timers, listen close.
Everyone gets one lick.
184
00:07:30,353 --> 00:07:33,356
You will see and feel things
that may or may not be real.
185
00:07:33,423 --> 00:07:35,525
Now, let's get started.
I have a gender reveal
186
00:07:35,592 --> 00:07:37,093
for a couple of lizards
in about an hour.
187
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,863
All right, party boy,
you're up.
188
00:07:39,929 --> 00:07:41,397
I'm a little nervous.
189
00:07:41,464 --> 00:07:44,234
This is my first
nonsexual licking.
190
00:07:46,669 --> 00:07:51,407
I don't feel anyblast off!
191
00:07:54,351 --> 00:07:57,287
Blast off!
192
00:07:57,354 --> 00:08:00,357
Enjoy your trip.
Thank you. Next?
193
00:08:00,424 --> 00:08:01,592
Whoa.
[laughs]
194
00:08:01,658 --> 00:08:04,495
Well, that's interesting.
[laughs]
195
00:08:04,561 --> 00:08:06,163
Oh, I see.
It's dopamine.
196
00:08:06,230 --> 00:08:09,166
[funky music]
197
00:08:09,233 --> 00:08:14,972
♪ ♪
198
00:08:15,038 --> 00:08:17,775
Whoa, so trippy.
199
00:08:17,841 --> 00:08:19,143
You didn't lick me.
200
00:08:19,209 --> 00:08:20,377
I don't trust that raccoon.
201
00:08:20,444 --> 00:08:22,012
He's always got
his weird little fingers
202
00:08:22,079 --> 00:08:23,313
in everybody's pies.
203
00:08:23,380 --> 00:08:24,982
Oh!
204
00:08:25,048 --> 00:08:28,552
Am I made of moonlight
and whispers?
205
00:08:29,586 --> 00:08:31,522
Ooh, you taste familiar.
206
00:08:31,588 --> 00:08:34,558
Were you in Ibiza in 2016?
207
00:08:36,693 --> 00:08:38,595
[chuckles]
Hey, slow down, buddy.
208
00:08:38,662 --> 00:08:39,963
I get paid by the lick.
209
00:08:40,030 --> 00:08:41,965
Oh, about that.
210
00:08:42,032 --> 00:08:44,735
Okay, I'll send an invoice!
You know what?
211
00:08:44,802 --> 00:08:46,637
Let's just put
our schemes, scams,
212
00:08:46,703 --> 00:08:49,706
and animal trafficking side
hustles on hold for the night.
213
00:08:49,773 --> 00:08:51,809
I knew it!
Everybody heard that, right?
214
00:08:51,875 --> 00:08:54,144
Quiet, pretty baby.
Mwah.
215
00:08:54,211 --> 00:08:56,280
Because this is beautiful.
216
00:08:56,346 --> 00:09:00,017
This old freak is marrying
the love of his life tomorrow.
217
00:09:00,684 --> 00:09:03,353
Must be nice.
218
00:09:03,420 --> 00:09:05,422
Ah!
219
00:09:05,489 --> 00:09:07,291
Oh, Lindsay.
220
00:09:07,357 --> 00:09:10,794
[both moaning]
221
00:09:10,861 --> 00:09:12,529
Thank you for coming
222
00:09:12,596 --> 00:09:15,265
to Lindsay's
bachelorette party!
223
00:09:15,332 --> 00:09:16,567
[laughs]
224
00:09:16,633 --> 00:09:18,702
We're just a rowdy gang
of funloving
225
00:09:18,769 --> 00:09:21,839
female identifying animals
and Diablo.
226
00:09:21,905 --> 00:09:23,473
Thanks for letting me join,
guys.
227
00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:25,909
I just didn't want to wander
into the forest at night.
228
00:09:25,976 --> 00:09:29,713
Fake party for shoe with dog
in sweater in tool shed.
229
00:09:29,780 --> 00:09:31,081
I've reached my bottom.
230
00:09:31,148 --> 00:09:33,984
Yeah, I know it's unorthodox,
but I promised Shel.
231
00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:36,820
Besides, we don't get
a lot of chances to whoop it up
232
00:09:36,887 --> 00:09:38,422
outside of group, okay?
233
00:09:38,488 --> 00:09:39,723
So let's just get through it,
234
00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:41,725
and when Shel asks
if we had fun,
235
00:09:41,792 --> 00:09:44,545
we can say yes and mean it.
Whoo!
236
00:09:44,611 --> 00:09:46,880
What would be fun is,
we disappear the shoe
237
00:09:46,947 --> 00:09:47,948
once and for all.
238
00:09:48,015 --> 00:09:50,250
Enough with horny tortoise
and his delusions.
239
00:09:50,317 --> 00:09:52,119
Yeah, let's just throw her
in the trash
240
00:09:52,186 --> 00:09:53,854
and get jacked up
on this fertilizer.
241
00:09:53,921 --> 00:09:54,955
No!
242
00:09:55,022 --> 00:09:57,157
This is not how you throw
a bachelorette party,
243
00:09:57,224 --> 00:09:58,992
but I know someone
who can help.
244
00:09:59,059 --> 00:10:00,127
Wait, what?
245
00:10:00,194 --> 00:10:01,128
[with Southern accent]
Howdy, y'all.
246
00:10:01,195 --> 00:10:03,330
I'm Cowgal Elsa,
247
00:10:03,397 --> 00:10:05,866
and this ain't my first rodeo.
248
00:10:05,933 --> 00:10:10,170
I sense a new low is coming.
Do you hear that knocking?
249
00:10:10,237 --> 00:10:12,373
I think there's someone
at the door.
250
00:10:12,439 --> 00:10:14,541
Ooh, I wonder who it is.
251
00:10:14,608 --> 00:10:17,644
Hey, that's one of Jill's
groove restoration boots.
252
00:10:17,711 --> 00:10:21,648
No, it's a handsome drifter's
cowboy boot.
253
00:10:21,715 --> 00:10:23,250
He just rolled into town,
254
00:10:23,317 --> 00:10:26,420
and I think he's got his eye
on you, Lindsay.
255
00:10:26,487 --> 00:10:28,722
Okay, maybe it's time
to call it.
256
00:10:28,789 --> 00:10:29,690
No!
No.
257
00:10:29,757 --> 00:10:32,526
Thisthis shindig's
just getting started.
258
00:10:32,593 --> 00:10:34,528
Bachelorette parties
are about games
259
00:10:34,595 --> 00:10:37,531
designed to put you on the spot
and succumb to peer pressure.
260
00:10:37,598 --> 00:10:40,334
So, Honey, truth or dare?
261
00:10:40,401 --> 00:10:42,669
Uh, dare.
Kiss the boot.
262
00:10:42,736 --> 00:10:44,938
No, I don't want to end up
on the Internet.
263
00:10:45,005 --> 00:10:46,039
Anyone else want to try?
264
00:10:46,106 --> 00:10:47,174
I'm allergic to suede.
265
00:10:47,241 --> 00:10:48,675
Somebody kiss
the freaking boot!
266
00:10:48,742 --> 00:10:50,978
Do I have to do everything?
267
00:10:51,044 --> 00:10:52,446
Fine, I'll kiss the boot.
268
00:10:52,513 --> 00:10:55,449
both:
269
00:10:55,516 --> 00:10:56,350
Kiss the boot!
270
00:10:56,417 --> 00:10:58,852
I just can't believe
I'm doing this.
271
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:01,422
Hi, I'm Elsa.
272
00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:04,825
Are you ready?
273
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:09,229
Oh, my God, you guys,
that is so unlike me.
274
00:11:09,296 --> 00:11:10,631
But it felt so right.
275
00:11:10,697 --> 00:11:13,867
Don't get any ideas.
I licked him first.
276
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,669
Okay, Honey still
owes us a dare.
277
00:11:15,736 --> 00:11:19,106
I dare you to throw Lindsay
in the outside trash can.
278
00:11:19,173 --> 00:11:20,207
Yeah!
What?
279
00:11:20,274 --> 00:11:21,241
Rules are rules.
280
00:11:21,308 --> 00:11:23,577
Let's throw Lindsay away
for good.
281
00:11:24,611 --> 00:11:28,215
Gentlemen, it's Shel's
last night as a bachelor.
282
00:11:28,282 --> 00:11:30,384
So let's make it one
to remember
283
00:11:30,451 --> 00:11:34,721
and give it up for Amberconda!
284
00:11:34,788 --> 00:11:38,125
Ah! A cucumber?
Relax, it's just a snake.
285
00:11:38,192 --> 00:11:39,660
Oh, my God!
It's a snake!
286
00:11:39,726 --> 00:11:42,396
You must be the lucky guy.
287
00:11:42,463 --> 00:11:44,164
Hello, there.
I'm Shel.
288
00:11:44,231 --> 00:11:46,200
Sheldon for long.
289
00:11:46,266 --> 00:11:49,403
Hey, there, Shelly.
I'm Amber.
290
00:11:49,470 --> 00:11:51,972
I'm gonna take
good care of you.
291
00:11:52,039 --> 00:11:54,141
You are?
292
00:11:54,208 --> 00:11:56,877
What are you doing?
293
00:11:56,944 --> 00:11:59,379
Just relax.
294
00:11:59,446 --> 00:12:00,681
What are we watching?
295
00:12:00,747 --> 00:12:03,217
She appears to be
in the process of molting.
296
00:12:03,283 --> 00:12:05,152
Dude, are you smart now?
297
00:12:05,219 --> 00:12:06,753
I guess that's why
I'm finding
298
00:12:06,820 --> 00:12:07,821
the objectification
299
00:12:07,888 --> 00:12:10,991
of this lady of the garden
somewhat problematic.
300
00:12:11,058 --> 00:12:12,626
Are you having a good time?
301
00:12:12,693 --> 00:12:16,230
I mostly see heat,
not facial expressions.
302
00:12:16,296 --> 00:12:18,232
I'm completely gobsmacked.
303
00:12:18,298 --> 00:12:21,335
Thank you, and I enjoy
the way you move
304
00:12:21,401 --> 00:12:23,837
and that you can move
305
00:12:23,904 --> 00:12:26,306
and talk and breathe.
306
00:12:26,373 --> 00:12:28,342
My fiancée does
none of those things.
307
00:12:28,408 --> 00:12:32,279
Oh, she sounds great.
Congratulations.
308
00:12:32,346 --> 00:12:34,648
both: Push her in!
Push her in!
309
00:12:34,715 --> 00:12:36,517
Well, this is not
what I meant when I said
310
00:12:36,583 --> 00:12:38,418
I wanted us to have fun.
Wait!
311
00:12:38,485 --> 00:12:40,020
Well, at least we have
to make sure she's dead,
312
00:12:40,087 --> 00:12:42,256
or she could come back
and haunt us forever.
313
00:12:42,322 --> 00:12:44,825
I say we eat her face.
Oh, no. I can't look.
314
00:12:44,892 --> 00:12:47,861
Maybe we just bury her now
and deal with her ghost later.
315
00:12:47,928 --> 00:12:49,062
How about that?
316
00:12:49,129 --> 00:12:51,665
Listen, if we remove
the object of Shel's affection,
317
00:12:51,732 --> 00:12:55,302
then he could just transfer
that love to something else.
318
00:12:55,369 --> 00:12:57,271
Who cares?
Push her in.
319
00:12:57,337 --> 00:13:00,641
[tense music]
320
00:13:00,707 --> 00:13:04,778
♪ ♪
321
00:13:04,845 --> 00:13:06,813
Okay, push her in.
322
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:08,148
[laughs]
323
00:13:08,215 --> 00:13:10,050
She's trash!
Haha.
324
00:13:10,117 --> 00:13:11,418
[all cheering]
Yay.
325
00:13:11,485 --> 00:13:14,288
Who knew fun could be
this uncomfortable?
326
00:13:14,821 --> 00:13:18,258
Oh, look how clear the Big
Poop Scooper is tonight.
327
00:13:18,325 --> 00:13:20,260
Humans used to use the stars
328
00:13:20,327 --> 00:13:22,496
to guide their ships
across the oceans.
329
00:13:22,563 --> 00:13:24,865
Now they use them to make
illadvised decisions
330
00:13:24,932 --> 00:13:27,267
about their careers
and relationships.
331
00:13:27,334 --> 00:13:31,672
I want to see the stars too.
Somebody flip me.
332
00:13:31,738 --> 00:13:33,540
Wow.
333
00:13:33,607 --> 00:13:37,311
Gents, am I fooling myself
with Lindsay?
334
00:13:37,377 --> 00:13:40,347
Licking that toad
and canoodling with that snake
335
00:13:40,414 --> 00:13:41,782
has shined a light
on some things
336
00:13:41,848 --> 00:13:45,385
that perhaps I've not been
allowing myself to see.
337
00:13:45,452 --> 00:13:48,755
Maybe Lindsay
is really just a shoe.
338
00:13:48,822 --> 00:13:51,825
Well, what if she is?
Then she's not real.
339
00:13:51,892 --> 00:13:54,995
What's real?
Consequences, man.
340
00:13:55,062 --> 00:13:56,263
[laughing]
Oh, exactly.
341
00:13:56,330 --> 00:13:59,733
No, no, actually,
what is real?
342
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,336
[trippy music]
343
00:14:02,402 --> 00:14:04,771
Mama?
Oh, hey, you guys.
344
00:14:04,838 --> 00:14:06,573
[kittens mewing]
345
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:09,309
[fireworks whistle and pop]
346
00:14:09,376 --> 00:14:11,678
I hope you all found
your Kevins.
347
00:14:11,745 --> 00:14:13,213
Bye.
348
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:14,581
Huh, closure.
349
00:14:14,648 --> 00:14:18,619
You know what is real?
Your love for Lindsay.
350
00:14:18,685 --> 00:14:20,287
I've never seen you so happy.
351
00:14:20,354 --> 00:14:23,156
I just don't know
if it makes sense anymore.
352
00:14:23,223 --> 00:14:25,192
It never made sense.
Bigger!
353
00:14:25,258 --> 00:14:27,227
[dramatically]
It never made sense!
354
00:14:27,294 --> 00:14:28,562
Honey and I don't make sense,
355
00:14:28,629 --> 00:14:31,264
but sense has
nothing to do with love.
356
00:14:31,331 --> 00:14:33,533
I mean, what holds
this universe together?
357
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,637
Probably the same thing
that holds two hearts together.
358
00:14:36,703 --> 00:14:39,740
It's magical.
It's unique for everybody.
359
00:14:39,806 --> 00:14:41,975
Yeah, and besides,
you can always get out of it.
360
00:14:42,042 --> 00:14:43,110
She's a shoe.
361
00:14:43,176 --> 00:14:44,778
Gentlemen, I must
take my leave
362
00:14:44,845 --> 00:14:48,448
to articulate my newfound
comprehension of love to Honey.
363
00:14:48,515 --> 00:14:51,652
She's going to dig smart me.
I bid you all adieudoo.
364
00:14:51,718 --> 00:14:53,220
[laughs]
[clears throat]
365
00:14:53,286 --> 00:14:54,888
Adieu.
[laughs]
366
00:14:54,955 --> 00:14:57,858
Uhoh, it's fading.
367
00:14:57,924 --> 00:14:59,359
Thank you, my friends.
368
00:14:59,426 --> 00:15:02,262
You've given me
a lot to think about.
369
00:15:02,329 --> 00:15:05,932
Oh, my God.
I am covered in fur.
370
00:15:05,999 --> 00:15:09,336
[sobbing]
371
00:15:12,906 --> 00:15:15,976
You're all so vulnerable
and honest and real.
372
00:15:16,043 --> 00:15:17,344
I want to be real.
373
00:15:17,411 --> 00:15:19,079
I want to take off this mask
374
00:15:19,146 --> 00:15:21,815
and show you guys
who I really am.
375
00:15:21,882 --> 00:15:23,216
[groans]
376
00:15:23,283 --> 00:15:24,885
Hey, hey, hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy, man.
377
00:15:24,951 --> 00:15:26,486
Why do they make everything
so hard to open?
378
00:15:26,553 --> 00:15:28,755
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Stop it.
379
00:15:28,822 --> 00:15:29,990
I can't be here.
380
00:15:30,057 --> 00:15:32,559
[panting]
381
00:15:32,626 --> 00:15:37,197
Love is magic, and like magic,
it's better leftah!
382
00:15:37,264 --> 00:15:39,099
Love islove is
383
00:15:39,166 --> 00:15:40,167
[farts]
384
00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:42,536
[laughs]
Oh, no!
385
00:15:42,602 --> 00:15:44,938
I thought that was
kind of funny.
386
00:15:45,005 --> 00:15:46,339
Pull it together, man!
387
00:15:46,406 --> 00:15:48,475
You were briefly better
than this!
388
00:15:54,748 --> 00:15:58,051
I hate throwing parties.
No one ever helps you clean up.
389
00:15:58,118 --> 00:16:01,054
Ow. Ow!
Oh, my God! Lindsay?
390
00:16:01,121 --> 00:16:04,057
[laughs]
391
00:16:04,124 --> 00:16:05,659
I knew it was you.
392
00:16:05,726 --> 00:16:06,860
[panting]
393
00:16:06,927 --> 00:16:07,961
Honey, I got it!
394
00:16:08,028 --> 00:16:10,764
Love is...um...gah!
395
00:16:10,831 --> 00:16:12,432
Love is...magic?
396
00:16:12,499 --> 00:16:14,968
No, wait, it had something
to do with the universe
397
00:16:15,035 --> 00:16:17,771
and all the stuff
that makes one big thing.
398
00:16:17,838 --> 00:16:18,672
Uhhuh.
399
00:16:18,872 --> 00:16:21,174
And, and, and
and what is real for some
400
00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:23,110
nope, nope, that's not it, no.
401
00:16:23,176 --> 00:16:24,478
[groans]
Sorry, I lost it.
402
00:16:24,544 --> 00:16:26,346
I should have
licked that toad again.
403
00:16:26,413 --> 00:16:29,116
You licked a toad?
His name was Cane.
404
00:16:29,182 --> 00:16:31,818
He was so nice.
I don't feel good.
405
00:16:31,885 --> 00:16:34,755
Love is
[retches]
406
00:16:34,821 --> 00:16:37,224
[snoring]
407
00:16:37,290 --> 00:16:39,626
[laughs]
This is such a great night.
408
00:16:39,693 --> 00:16:43,263
I am so glad I didn't
sell you guys to that bear,
409
00:16:43,330 --> 00:16:46,299
which is 100%
what I was gonna do.
410
00:16:46,366 --> 00:16:48,802
Never trust me.
You hear me?
411
00:16:48,869 --> 00:16:50,370
Never trust me.
412
00:16:50,437 --> 00:16:52,639
Do you guys want
to go to Tijuana?
413
00:16:52,706 --> 00:16:55,275
Someone's coming.
Let's get out of here.
414
00:16:55,342 --> 00:16:58,111
So we're just ignoring
the bear thing?
415
00:16:59,179 --> 00:17:01,114
[gasps]
Good evening, Tammy.
416
00:17:01,181 --> 00:17:02,749
Oh, you got bangs.
417
00:17:02,816 --> 00:17:04,184
Oh, that's fun.
418
00:17:04,251 --> 00:17:07,187
[light music]
419
00:17:07,254 --> 00:17:09,589
♪ ♪
420
00:17:09,656 --> 00:17:11,358
[whispering]
How did Lindsay get here?
421
00:17:11,424 --> 00:17:13,493
I told you the only way
to make sure
422
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:16,863
that something is fully dead
is to eat the face!
423
00:17:16,930 --> 00:17:18,098
She's unkillable.
424
00:17:18,165 --> 00:17:19,232
In the old country,
425
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:21,635
we have name
for creatures like her:
426
00:17:21,701 --> 00:17:22,602
Barbara.
427
00:17:22,669 --> 00:17:23,837
Is she prettier than me?
428
00:17:23,904 --> 00:17:24,771
Don't answer that.
429
00:17:24,838 --> 00:17:26,072
Let's just get through
this wedding
430
00:17:26,139 --> 00:17:27,574
and we'll talk tonight.
431
00:17:27,641 --> 00:17:30,610
Well, this is it.
Shel's big day.
432
00:17:30,677 --> 00:17:32,012
And we'll be here for him,
433
00:17:32,078 --> 00:17:35,448
ready to pick up the pieces
of his shattered heart.
434
00:17:35,515 --> 00:17:37,751
I love weddings.
435
00:17:37,818 --> 00:17:39,219
Prepare to engage.
436
00:17:39,286 --> 00:17:40,787
Thanks, Tchotch.
437
00:17:40,854 --> 00:17:43,223
[trash can bangs]
438
00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:46,493
Raccoon, you're alive!
Oh, thank goodness!
439
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,228
Wouldn't miss this
for the world.
440
00:17:48,295 --> 00:17:49,596
Are you feeling okay?
441
00:17:49,663 --> 00:17:51,164
Yeah, sure, but apparently
442
00:17:51,231 --> 00:17:54,034
I had a 0.02% blood toad level.
443
00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:56,236
Oh, yeah!
Hey, Shel.
444
00:17:56,303 --> 00:17:57,771
You sure you want
to go through with this?
445
00:17:57,838 --> 00:18:00,574
Now that I'm sober, it seems
like a whacked out idea.
446
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:04,611
Classic Raccoon.
I can't wait for your speech.
447
00:18:05,312 --> 00:18:07,080
Thank you for doing this.
448
00:18:07,147 --> 00:18:09,916
It's the only way.
Ominous.
449
00:18:09,983 --> 00:18:12,285
Save it for the ceremony.
450
00:18:12,986 --> 00:18:14,054
Welcome, everyone.
451
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:16,022
Thank you for joining us today
452
00:18:16,089 --> 00:18:18,592
to celebrate Shel and Lindsay.
453
00:18:18,658 --> 00:18:21,862
[birds whistling
"Here Comes the Bride"]
454
00:18:21,928 --> 00:18:23,530
♪ ♪
455
00:18:23,597 --> 00:18:25,799
Come to me, my love.
456
00:18:25,866 --> 00:18:31,338
♪ ♪
457
00:18:32,405 --> 00:18:35,809
Come on, Lindsay.
I'm right here.
458
00:18:35,876 --> 00:18:39,346
[soft dramatic music]
459
00:18:39,412 --> 00:18:41,481
What do we do?
Just vamp.
460
00:18:41,548 --> 00:18:44,784
[whistling
"Mary Had a Little Lamb"]
461
00:18:44,851 --> 00:18:47,220
♪ ♪
462
00:18:47,287 --> 00:18:49,756
Maybe you should walk to her,
I don't know.
463
00:18:49,823 --> 00:18:54,628
Honey, she's not moving.
Shel, I'm so sorry.
464
00:18:55,829 --> 00:18:58,765
[highpitched tone]
465
00:19:02,102 --> 00:19:05,038
I know this is going
to be hard, but over time
466
00:19:05,105 --> 00:19:06,573
oh, wait, here she comes.
467
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:07,774
Wait, what?
468
00:19:07,841 --> 00:19:11,311
[highpitched tone]
469
00:19:11,378 --> 00:19:13,813
[soft dramatic music]
470
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:15,448
She's walking!
471
00:19:15,515 --> 00:19:18,785
Are you seeing this?
I knew she could do it!
472
00:19:18,852 --> 00:19:19,920
Uhhuh.
473
00:19:19,986 --> 00:19:21,154
[sobbing]
474
00:19:21,221 --> 00:19:22,289
[laughter]
What's happening?
475
00:19:22,355 --> 00:19:24,224
[hisses]
Barbara!
476
00:19:24,291 --> 00:19:26,660
It's so beautiful!
477
00:19:26,726 --> 00:19:31,898
♪ ♪
478
00:19:31,965 --> 00:19:34,401
[highpitched tone stops]
479
00:19:36,836 --> 00:19:39,472
Wow, this is magical.
480
00:19:39,539 --> 00:19:43,043
I'm gonna stray
from my prepared remarks.
481
00:19:43,109 --> 00:19:44,311
Whichever's shorter!
482
00:19:44,377 --> 00:19:46,346
You know, no matter how smart
we think we are,
483
00:19:46,413 --> 00:19:48,615
we may never understand love.
484
00:19:48,682 --> 00:19:51,885
I once heard it has something
to do with the universe
485
00:19:51,952 --> 00:19:55,355
and all the stuff
that makes one big thing.
486
00:19:56,156 --> 00:19:57,857
We can all see
487
00:19:57,924 --> 00:19:58,959
Shel?
488
00:19:59,025 --> 00:20:00,860
Darla?
489
00:20:00,927 --> 00:20:03,496
Lindsay!
Honey?
490
00:20:03,563 --> 00:20:06,232
Don't rope me into this.
Darla.
491
00:20:06,299 --> 00:20:07,801
What's going on here?
492
00:20:07,867 --> 00:20:09,502
Well, he was about
to marry a shoe.
493
00:20:09,569 --> 00:20:14,040
II'm overwhelmed
with emotion.
494
00:20:14,107 --> 00:20:15,842
And here come the tears.
495
00:20:15,909 --> 00:20:18,244
[sobbing]
496
00:20:18,311 --> 00:20:20,880
I don't know what to do here.
497
00:20:20,947 --> 00:20:24,384
[sobbing]
498
00:20:24,451 --> 00:20:27,687
What do I do?
[sobbing]
499
00:20:27,754 --> 00:20:30,657
What do I do?
500
00:20:30,724 --> 00:20:33,259
You know what?
You should all probably go.
501
00:20:33,326 --> 00:20:35,829
This is going to take a while.
502
00:20:37,864 --> 00:20:40,667
Congratulations.
Bye. Thank you.
503
00:20:40,734 --> 00:20:42,936
Eh, this isn't the worst
wedding I've been to.
504
00:20:43,003 --> 00:20:46,106
Anyone remember Renee Zels
and Kenny Chess?
505
00:20:46,172 --> 00:20:48,141
Exactly.
506
00:20:48,208 --> 00:20:49,676
Technically,
we played the gig,
507
00:20:49,743 --> 00:20:51,678
so what about those worms?
508
00:20:55,982 --> 00:20:57,459
Got my animals?
509
00:20:57,526 --> 00:20:59,127
I got something better.
510
00:21:00,495 --> 00:21:01,496
[ribbits]
511
00:21:01,563 --> 00:21:02,564
This is Cane.
512
00:21:02,631 --> 00:21:04,533
He's gonna show you
a wild night.
513
00:21:04,599 --> 00:21:05,934
All right, settle down.
514
00:21:06,001 --> 00:21:08,737
First timers, listen close.
Everyone gets one lick
515
00:21:08,804 --> 00:21:10,172
[gulps]
What did you do?
516
00:21:10,238 --> 00:21:15,177
What's the big deal?
I justblast off!
517
00:21:15,243 --> 00:21:16,378
[growls]
Oof!
518
00:21:16,445 --> 00:21:19,147
[groans]
519
00:21:22,451 --> 00:21:25,387
Oof, thank you, man.
Crazy bear.
520
00:21:27,322 --> 00:21:29,391
Bento.
[all cheering]
521
00:21:29,758 --> 00:21:30,959
That's nice, Jen and Gabby.
522
00:21:31,009 --> 00:21:35,559
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