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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:08,171 Why is there a grizzly bear on the cereal box? 2 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:09,838 Ooh, is it made from bears? 3 00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:11,296 No, Crash. 4 00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,756 And those cookies you like aren't made from elf meat. 5 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,517 Oh. You ruin everything. 6 00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:18,725 [groaning] 7 00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:22,481 I feel a bad stomach flu coming on. 8 00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,864 It isn't gonna hit me today. 9 00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:27,191 It's gonna incubate till... 10 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,070 Friday. 11 00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:32,945 That's a very specific illness. 12 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,743 What can I say, Mom? I'm in tune with my body. 13 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:38,827 Yeah. I've heard his body make some nasty tunes. 14 00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:40,673 That's why I wear an air freshener. 15 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,079 [sniffs] 16 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,127 [sighs] 17 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:47,129 So your slowly approaching stomach flu has nothing to do with the fact 18 00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,843 that Tug Fly "The Bug Guy" is coming to your school? 19 00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:51,844 Who's Tug Fly "The Bug Guy"? 20 00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:53,636 He's a local portland celebrity 21 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,260 who has a huge collection of creepy crawlers 22 00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:58,218 and Wyatt nibblers. 23 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,058 [laughing] 24 00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:02,233 Bernstein, are you afraid of bugs? 25 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,772 No. I'm not afraid of anything. 26 00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:07,686 I'll swim with sharks, I'll run with bulls, 27 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:10,356 I'll even breathe in your morning breath. 28 00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:14,663 [exhales] 29 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,621 Oh! Were you built upside down? 30 00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:22,121 So what made you scared of a tiny, hairy, multi-eyed, 31 00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:24,327 disease carrying creature that bites? 32 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,037 I'm not scared. 33 00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:30,168 It happened one night, right before halloween. 34 00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:31,086 Boring! 35 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:33,183 Get to the bug part. 36 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,718 Guys, we advertised a haunted house. 37 00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,806 I don't see anything scary here. 38 00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:41,772 What do you call... 39 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:43,191 these? 40 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:45,019 Rubber cockroaches. 41 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,476 You gave me a 45 cent bug budget. 42 00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:51,436 If you want scary, we're talking paper money. 43 00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,526 Check out these bloody worms. 44 00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:57,655 That's just leftover spaghetti. 45 00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,832 Look, there's a piece of garlic bread in it. 46 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,751 That's to keep away vampires. 47 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:09,626 Oh, and who isn't afraid of a chocolate spider? 48 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:12,093 No, that's my tarantula! 49 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,551 Aah! 50 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:18,104 [both screaming] 51 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,312 Why are you screaming? 52 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,890 We're all out of grizzly flakes! 53 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,096 Grizzly flakes! 54 00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,475 No! 55 00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:29,068 Why? Why? Why? 56 00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:33,149 ♪ Let me tell you about the Bernsteins ♪ 57 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,492 ♪ Yo, I'ma let you finish ♪ 58 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,282 -♪ But ding-dong ♪ -♪ Who's that? ♪ 59 00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:38,445 ♪ Yo, it's Crash at the door ♪ 60 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:41,123 ♪ Don't wait for you to open Kick it down hard core ♪ 61 00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:43,412 ♪ A purple with a 'tude Where your mom hide the food? ♪ 62 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:46,326 -♪ In the fridge ♪ -♪ I'ma eat it then we tear it up, dude 63 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,586 ♪ No make-up or feelings Tea parties or dolls ♪ 64 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,168 ♪ Now it's ninjas and football ♪ 65 00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:51,381 -♪ And face slams ♪ -♪ Good call ♪ 66 00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:52,423 ♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪ 67 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:53,665 ♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪ 68 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:55,127 ♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪ 69 00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:56,046 ♪ What he said ♪ 70 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,804 ♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪ 71 00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:58,796 ♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪ 72 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:00,217 ♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪ 73 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:01,307 ♪ What he said ♪ 74 00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:03,849 ♪ It's war against awesome But awesome's gotta soar ♪ 75 00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:06,273 -♪ I'll be grounded forever ♪ -♪ That's what friends are for ♪ 76 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,903 ♪ Crash and Bernstein Crash and Bernstein ♪ 77 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,320 -♪ Crash and Bern... ♪ -♪ I said "Stein" ♪ 78 00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,278 ♪ What he said ♪ 79 00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:14,364 [chuckles] 80 00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:21,657 I hear Tug Fly is awesome. 81 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:22,703 My brother said last year 82 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:25,076 he brought a beetle that could break a pencil. 83 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,333 [scoffs] Dude, I can break a pencil. 84 00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:31,918 [straining] 85 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:34,802 [grunting] 86 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,221 Yeah. Plus, 87 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,510 the beetle could roll its dung into a huge ball. 88 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,814 Psh. I can do that too. 89 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,388 [straining] 90 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:45,854 No! No. 91 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,314 You don't have to show me. 92 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,694 I believe you. 93 00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:50,557 Hey, guys. 94 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,067 Hey. 95 00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:55,318 Wyatt, you gotta take me to see the Bug Guy on Friday! 96 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,862 I'm not going to that assembly. 97 00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:59,735 I plan on staging a minor woodshop accident. 98 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,913 Which one of my fingers is the least important? 99 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,236 You can't miss bug day. 100 00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:05,697 Yeah. I could understand 101 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,657 missing climb the Rope Day, 102 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:11,037 but bugs don't taunt you for not getting past the first knot. 103 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,586 A real man isn't afraid of anything. 104 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,840 Obviously you haven't seen my grandpa's toenails. 105 00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:19,005 They look like corn chips. 106 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:24,184 Bernstein, you learned this fear and I can help you unlearn it. 107 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,984 Lucky for you I was born with the power of purple. 108 00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:28,768 -I can cure you. -Okay. 109 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:31,772 Is there a man here today 110 00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,895 with a fear of bugs? 111 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,652 Yeah, Crash. It's me. 112 00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:36,574 We all know that. 113 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:38,571 Yes. Yes. 114 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:39,743 Wyatt Bernstein, 115 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,951 on my command, 116 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:45,042 you will be free of your fear of bugs. 117 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,578 -Fear be gone! -Ow! 118 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,503 -Did it work? -No. 119 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,422 Oh. Let me... 120 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,090 think of something else here. 121 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:55,709 Um... 122 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,375 -Fear be gone! -Ow! 123 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,715 What do you know? I'm cured. 124 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:01,760 Yeah! 125 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,763 -Come here, buddy. Yeah. -All right. 126 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,931 Crash be gone! 127 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,099 [grunts] 128 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:17,936 [screaming on the computer] 129 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,449 Looks pretty scary. 130 00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:25,200 Yeah. Natalie said it was the scariest movie 131 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,623 she's ever seen. 132 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,791 She couldn't sleep for four days and might need therapy. 133 00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:31,833 I can't wait to see it. 134 00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:34,036 Can I go with you? 135 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,335 You're too young. It'll give you nightmares. 136 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,799 Plus, I don't want a repeat of shark week. 137 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:42,051 I'm sorry I clubbed Wyatt. 138 00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:48,387 Hey, Mom. Can I go see a movie all my friends are seeing? 139 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:49,933 It's only a tiny bit scary. 140 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,726 You know the rule. First I have to see it, 141 00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,730 then decide if you can go. What's it called? 142 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,022 Bloody Butcher 2: Chop House of Gore. 143 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,860 Wait, isn't that the movie being boycotted 144 00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:01,192 by both the Church and the Meat Advisory Board? 145 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:03,413 Do I really have to watch that? 146 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:06,488 It's your rule, Mom. Nobody asked you to be a good parent. 147 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:08,905 Fine. I'll go see it tomorrow. 148 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:10,624 Can I go if she goes? 149 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,714 I can take it. 150 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:14,208 I don't think so, honey. The shark? 151 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,795 Oh. Oh, Mrs. B, Mrs. B-- 152 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,090 So when you go to see Bloody Butcher 2, can I go with you? 153 00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,215 It's based on my favorite telenovela . 154 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:31,467 I'm not going to see that piece of trash. I just told Amanda I was. 155 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,888 [gasps] You lied? 156 00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:38,357 Save your judgment. Sometimes lying is just part of being a parent. 157 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,360 Oh, well, that makes sense. 158 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:43,192 In that case, I was just being a parent 159 00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:45,318 when I said I didn't break this frame. 160 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,985 [glass shatters] 161 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,832 [laughs] 162 00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:59,537 You are getting sleepy. 163 00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:01,207 No, I'm getting dizzy. 164 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,802 Wait for me to finish. 165 00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:07,506 You are getting sleepy 166 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,514 and dizzy. 167 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:11,807 Now... 168 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:14,560 look into my eyes. 169 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,977 Your eyelids are getting heavy. 170 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,605 And you are asleep! 171 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,780 Listen to my voice. 172 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,662 You will make Crash sandwiches 173 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:31,080 whenever he desires. 174 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:34,039 You will loan Crash money 175 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,210 and not make him pay you back. 176 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,959 Now... 177 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:39,581 Wake up! 178 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:42,878 You're all cured, buddy. You know what sounds good right now? 179 00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:43,882 A sandwich, 180 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:47,473 or a loan of 1,000 dollars. 181 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,340 Yes, master. 182 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,427 I keep the money under the rug. 183 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,521 [chuckles] 184 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,347 Oh! 185 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:59,845 I wasn't even hypnotized. And you forgot to mention bugs. 186 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:02,818 All right, Bernstein. You got me. 187 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,029 Well played. 188 00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:08,200 So what rug do you keep the sandwiches under? 189 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,368 You guys are hopeless. 190 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,278 When I was scared of thunderstorms, 191 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,327 Mom just sang me a song. 192 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:18,831 That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Crash isn't gonna sing a song about-- 193 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,745 ♪ Ohh ♪ 194 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,214 ♪ I'm Mr. Inchworm ♪ 195 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:23,633 ♪ Inching along ♪ 196 00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:24,752 ♪ Measuring this bed ♪ 197 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,338 ♪ And singing this song ♪ 198 00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,263 ♪ While you sleep I'll crawl in your ear ♪ 199 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:32,182 ♪ And lay my eggs to calm your fear ♪ 200 00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:33,682 ♪ Then my babies will hatch ♪ 201 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,223 ♪ And eat your brain ♪ 202 00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:38,226 ♪ And giggle while you writhe in pain ♪ 203 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,639 That's not helping. 204 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:40,938 Yeah, Crash. 205 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,441 Obviously that song is disturbing Wyatt. 206 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,073 Sing it again. 207 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,904 Whatever. I got another idea. 208 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,452 Earlier today I put a bug in this jar. 209 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,281 Crash, there's no bug in that jar. 210 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,576 Hmm. 211 00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:58,366 There's no lid on that jar! Crash, you have to find that bug. 212 00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:00,205 Relax, Bernstein. 213 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:01,710 It was just a ladybug. 214 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,631 Aah! Scorpion! 215 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,509 Mom! 216 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,511 I thought you said it was just a ladybug. 217 00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,263 It's a lady scorpion. 218 00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,099 Don't worry, Bernstein. You're safe. 219 00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,023 [chuckles] 220 00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,811 I'll put this jar on your desk. 221 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,895 Okay. Goodnight, Crash. 222 00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:25,937 Goodnight, Bernstein. 223 00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:35,406 ♪ Oh ♪ 224 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:36,912 ♪ I'm a little scorpion ♪ 225 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,243 ♪ I can open jars-- ♪ 226 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:39,538 Not helping! 227 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,161 Sorry. 228 00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:50,335 Good morning. 229 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,473 Look, buddy. You're cured. 230 00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,970 You spent the whole night covered in bugs. 231 00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:01,854 Crash? 232 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,305 Tell me they're fake. 233 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,605 I can't. I already told them that you're fake. 234 00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:08,149 Relax, the scorpion's still in its jar. 235 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:09,403 Oh. 236 00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:10,324 No, it isn't. 237 00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:13,026 Here, ladybug. 238 00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:15,912 Here, ladybug. 239 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,161 The hissing means they like me, right? 240 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,633 Aah! 241 00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:31,508 I'm sure she'll turn up. 242 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,169 Great job, Crash. 243 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:34,798 I used to be annoyed by bugs, 244 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:37,144 but now I'm freaking out! 245 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:40,350 I don't know why you're scared of bugs. They can't hurt you. 246 00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:42,022 I got bit on the finger and I'm fine. 247 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:45,521 Fine? 248 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,943 Crash, your hand is not fine. It's huge! 249 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,740 You're right. Only one thing to do. 250 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,699 Take me to Mount Rushmore! 251 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:57,279 I'm going to pick Teddy Roosevelt's nose. 252 00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:02,575 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, come on ♪ 253 00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:04,368 Hey. 254 00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:06,876 [screams] 255 00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:10,673 I mean... hey. 256 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,466 You want some eggs? 257 00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:17,255 Why are you so jumpy? Anything you want to tell me? 258 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,144 Like maybe about a movie you saw? 259 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,386 How did you find out? 260 00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:24,893 Your friend posted a picture of you vomiting in your purse. 261 00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,477 Really? 262 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:28,982 How did my hair look? 263 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,398 Better than your purse. 264 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,453 I wish I'd never gone to see that movie. 265 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,698 I keep seeing that guy popping up out of nowhere. 266 00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:39,321 Like this? 267 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:40,617 [screams] 268 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,080 [screams] 269 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,040 Are you okay? 270 00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:46,209 Yeah. We were playing a game of who could scream loudest. 271 00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:47,459 I won. 272 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:51,748 Hey, Mom, did you ever go see that scary movie? 273 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:55,166 Because Amanda can't see it until you do. 274 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,176 Yes. I did see Bloody Baker 2. 275 00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,678 You mean Bloody Butcher ? 276 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:02,060 Yes. It was so scary I-I forgot the name. 277 00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,518 [clears throat] 278 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:05,058 So, um... 279 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,101 I'm sorry, but you can't see it. 280 00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:08,305 Okay. 281 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,650 That's it? No fight? 282 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,322 No telling me I'm the worst mom in the world? 283 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,992 Maybe some other time. 284 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,239 Hey, Mom. We should have sloppy joes for dinner. 285 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:24,124 All that freshly ground blood red meat? 286 00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:25,582 Yum. 287 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,372 I gotta go. 288 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,378 Mom, you'd better hide your purse. 289 00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:34,548 -Hey, check out my meat hook! -Aah! 290 00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:41,390 That's quite a bite. 291 00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:44,560 Okay. Let's take a listen to your heart. 292 00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:48,478 [conga music playing] 293 00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:55,284 It's a little irregular, but catchy. 294 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:57,653 Okay. 295 00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,486 Let's check your reflexes. 296 00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:00,611 Okay. 297 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:03,320 Ow! 298 00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:05,785 Why don't you try the other knee? 299 00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:13,629 [yells] 300 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,589 Okay. 301 00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,591 Delayed reflex on right knee. 302 00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:20,223 Good left cross. 303 00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:24,263 Okay. Let me look in your ears. 304 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,018 Wyatt? Is that you? 305 00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:34,063 What's up, doc? 306 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:37,856 Now, the swelling in your hand is just a reaction to the bite. 307 00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,902 I'll give you a shot and you'll be fine. 308 00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,986 However I don't know how long before you return to a normal color. 309 00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:46,623 What's a shot? 310 00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:48,081 Oh, it's no big deal. 311 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,201 It's like a pinch. 312 00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:50,747 You'll barely even feel it. 313 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,040 [scary music] 314 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:56,043 [screams] 315 00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:59,047 Come on. I thought you said that real men weren't afraid of anything. 316 00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:02,090 That was before Dr. Stabby came at me with the ice pick. 317 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,925 Hold him down. 318 00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,890 No. No, no, no. No, no, no. 319 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:06,890 Now, now, now. 320 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,143 Pay no attention to the needle. 321 00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:11,774 Concentrate on my mustache. 322 00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:14,845 No. No! 323 00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:18,018 No, no, no. [muttering] 324 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,819 It's like I'm skating. 325 00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,279 I must be dreaming. 326 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,618 Cool. 327 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,463 -Isn't it wonderful? -[screams] 328 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,295 Whoa. 329 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,430 Thank goodness it's you, baby. 330 00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:47,099 Things were getting a little weird. 331 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,638 Aah! 332 00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:52,426 [screams] 333 00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:53,517 Aah! 334 00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:59,018 Aah! [screams] 335 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:02,397 [screaming] 336 00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:10,043 [panting] 337 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:12,328 Oh boy. 338 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,292 All that running sure made me thirsty. 339 00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,462 [humming] 340 00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,840 [screams] 341 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,210 [gasps] 342 00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:23,717 Oh. Bernstein? 343 00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:26,758 I just had the craziest dream. 344 00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,724 [scary music] 345 00:15:28,803 --> 00:15:30,603 No! 346 00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:32,845 [grunts] 347 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,642 Bernstein? Bernstein? 348 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,226 I just had the craziest-- 349 00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:38,101 Wait. I'm not falling for that again. 350 00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,608 Mustache attack! 351 00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:41,857 Crash, what's your problem? 352 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,781 I'm pretty sure it's mustaches. 353 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,284 Aah! 354 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,082 Crash. Let me in. 355 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:57,752 I checked. There are no mustaches anywhere in the apartment. 356 00:15:57,832 --> 00:16:00,672 That's exactly what a mustache would say. 357 00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:02,302 [grunts] 358 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:03,879 [gasps] 359 00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,682 Crash, I really don't think you want to stay in this room 360 00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:07,968 for the rest of your life. 361 00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,101 It's not safe out there. 362 00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:13,058 There are three mustaches on this floor alone. 363 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,639 The Ruiz brothers and Mrs. Mandola. 364 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:19,766 You can't let some ridiculous fear of facial hair ruin your life. 365 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:22,734 What about your dream of becoming a motorcycle cop? 366 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:24,606 [scoffs] You should talk. 367 00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:26,533 Don't you have to go write a note to the nurse 368 00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:28,241 so you can get out of Bug Day? 369 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,201 Oh yeah? Well, you know what? 370 00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:31,781 I'll make you a deal. 371 00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,696 I'll go to school tomorrow to see the Bug Guy 372 00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:36,035 if you man up and leave the apartment and come with me. 373 00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:38,251 But you hate bugs. 374 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,131 That's what brothers do for each other. 375 00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,708 Really? 376 00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:45,923 So there've been other brothers in history where one's afraid of bugs 377 00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:47,876 and the other's afraid of mustaches 378 00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,376 and they go to a school assembly 379 00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:51,467 to help them conquer their individual fears? 380 00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:54,263 I guess in some parallel universe 381 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,097 there could be two brothers with the exact same fears. 382 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,733 [laughs] Those dudes are losers. 383 00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:00,981 [laughing] 384 00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:01,902 Yeah. 385 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,065 Losers. 386 00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:05,399 Yeah. 387 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:06,653 Yeah. Pow! 388 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,787 Honey, are you okay? 389 00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,002 Mm-mm. 390 00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,461 You look freaked out. 391 00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:24,634 Did you drop your cell phone in the toilet again? 392 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:25,671 Mm-mm. 393 00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:29,054 -Someone wore the same blouse as you? -Mm-mm. 394 00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:33,048 Help me out here, Amanda. What else do you care about? 395 00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:37,102 Cleo? 396 00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:39,852 What are you doing eating barbecue for breakfast? 397 00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:41,274 Why? 398 00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:43,233 Does Amanda want some? 399 00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:44,863 Get that away from me! 400 00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:46,689 I can't take this anymore. 401 00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:50,195 How can you be so calm after seeing Bloody Butcher 2 ? 402 00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:51,448 I'm a wreck. 403 00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:54,950 Wait, you saw the movie after I told you not to? 404 00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:57,453 Yes. I'm sorry, I should have never gone. 405 00:17:57,535 --> 00:18:00,035 I'm the worst kid and you're the best mom. 406 00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:02,501 I can't believe you went to see that movie for me. 407 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,792 Well... 408 00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:06,665 a mother does those things for her children. 409 00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:09,844 I can't stop thinking about that cheerleader. 410 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:12,877 I know. That poor girl. 411 00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:15,097 It was a guy! It's like you didn't even-- 412 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,520 [gasps] You didn't see the movie! 413 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,848 You lied to me. 414 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:23,353 Mine was more a harmless fib, unlike yours which was-- 415 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,356 Okay, we both lied. 416 00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:28,897 I'm very disappointed in both of you. 417 00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:30,493 Give me your phones! 418 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,080 We're all clear. 419 00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:44,834 -No mustaches. -Oh, good. 420 00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:46,876 Let's sit in the back and play it cool, huh? 421 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,170 Good. If any bugs get loose, they'll have to eat six kids 422 00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:51,505 before they get to me. 423 00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,009 Hey, kids. 424 00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:54,761 I'm Tug Fly "The Bug Guy". 425 00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:56,393 But you can call me Tug, 426 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,599 or Mr. The Bug Guy. 427 00:18:58,680 --> 00:18:59,760 [laughing] 428 00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:03,019 Sometimes tells me there's no Mrs. The Bug Guy. 429 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,941 [laughing] 430 00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:08,520 Hey, look at you making jokes. I'm proud of you. High five. 431 00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:10,816 I need a volunteer. Okay, you with your hand up. 432 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,400 I wasn't raising my hand. 433 00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,356 Are you calling me a liar? 434 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,320 No. 435 00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:19,236 Don't be shy. Come on up. Come on, show him some support. 436 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:22,155 -[applause] -You can do it, Bernstein. 437 00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:25,325 All right, I would like to introduce to you all 438 00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:28,535 the very rare Peruvian 439 00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:32,384 slimy millipede. 440 00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:33,514 Ooh. 441 00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:36,970 Yes. It's completely harmless. 442 00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:39,135 Unless it smells fear. 443 00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:42,966 And it has a very keen sense of smell. 444 00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:46,642 -Whoa. This wasn't part of the deal. -There you go. 445 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:49,648 Now, in Peru, these millipedes are considered good luck. 446 00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:52,611 Although they haven't exactly helped old Tug at the track. 447 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:53,992 I tell you that. 448 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,782 Hey, this isn't bad at all. 449 00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,744 It kind of tickles. 450 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,083 He-he's doing it. 451 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,410 I'm so proud of him. 452 00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:05,615 If Bernstein can overcome his fear of bugs, 453 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,865 I can overcome my fear. 454 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,212 [gasps] 455 00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:13,764 Mustache! 456 00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:16,168 -[grunts] -[yells] 457 00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,756 [screaming] 458 00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:21,054 [laughs] 459 00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:29,149 I'm getting a faint pulse. 460 00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,359 Oh, not this one! 461 00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:32,979 Not this one! 462 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:35,396 Way to go, Bernstein. You beat your fear. 463 00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:37,065 Yeah. I guess I did. 464 00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:38,953 You showed up a scared boy, 465 00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:42,080 but stared danger in the face and became a man. 466 00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:45,618 And as a man, some day, you will grow a mustache. 467 00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:47,874 Until that day, we are friends. 468 00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:55,837 [groaning] 469 00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:02,644 -[scary music] -[screams] 470 00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:04,221 Oh, hey, Mrs. B. 471 00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,885 I'm making a PB and J. Want half? 472 00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:10,189 [screams] 473 00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,270 Relax, it's just a sandwich. 474 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:13,975 I'm sorry. 475 00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:15,775 I'm a little on edge. 476 00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:19,739 I just saw a horrible movie about a horrible butcher 477 00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:21,781 who does horrible things 478 00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:24,405 because I am a good parent! 479 00:21:24,492 --> 00:21:27,162 [sobbing] 480 00:21:28,163 --> 00:21:29,503 It's sticky. 481 00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:35,881 ♪ Crash and Bern , hard core ♪ 482 00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:39,132 ♪ Bass, bass ♪ 483 00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:44,553 ♪ What ♪ 484 00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:48,427 ♪ That's what friends are for ♪ 485 00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:49,726 ♪ Crash and Bern ♪ 486 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:51,019 ♪ Tear it up, dude ♪ 487 00:21:52,437 --> 00:21:53,807 ♪ Good call ♪ 488 00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:55,767 ♪ Crash and Bern Crash and Bern ♪ 489 00:21:55,857 --> 00:21:58,487 -♪ I said, "Stein" ♪ -♪ What he said ♪ 33436

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