Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:08,171
Why is there a grizzly bear
on the cereal box?
2
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:09,838
Ooh, is it made from bears?
3
00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:11,296
No, Crash.
4
00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,756
And those cookies you like
aren't made from elf meat.
5
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,517
Oh. You ruin everything.
6
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:18,725
[groaning]
7
00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:22,481
I feel a bad stomach flu coming on.
8
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,864
It isn't gonna hit me today.
9
00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:27,191
It's gonna incubate till...
10
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,070
Friday.
11
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:32,945
That's a very specific illness.
12
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,743
What can I say, Mom?
I'm in tune with my body.
13
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:38,827
Yeah. I've heard his body
make some nasty tunes.
14
00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:40,673
That's why I wear an air freshener.
15
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,079
[sniffs]
16
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,127
[sighs]
17
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:47,129
So your slowly approaching stomach flu
has nothing to do with the fact
18
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,843
that Tug Fly "The Bug Guy"
is coming to your school?
19
00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:51,844
Who's Tug Fly "The Bug Guy"?
20
00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:53,636
He's a local portland celebrity
21
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,260
who has a huge collection
of creepy crawlers
22
00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:58,218
and Wyatt nibblers.
23
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,058
[laughing]
24
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:02,233
Bernstein, are you afraid of bugs?
25
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,772
No. I'm not afraid of anything.
26
00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:07,686
I'll swim with sharks,
I'll run with bulls,
27
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:10,356
I'll even breathe in your morning breath.
28
00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:14,663
[exhales]
29
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,621
Oh! Were you built upside down?
30
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:22,121
So what made you scared
of a tiny, hairy, multi-eyed,
31
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:24,327
disease carrying creature that bites?
32
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,037
I'm not scared.
33
00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:30,168
It happened one night,
right before halloween.
34
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:31,086
Boring!
35
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:33,183
Get to the bug part.
36
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,718
Guys, we advertised a haunted house.
37
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,806
I don't see anything scary here.
38
00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:41,772
What do you call...
39
00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:43,191
these?
40
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:45,019
Rubber cockroaches.
41
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,476
You gave me a 45 cent bug budget.
42
00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:51,436
If you want scary,
we're talking paper money.
43
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,526
Check out these bloody worms.
44
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:57,655
That's just leftover spaghetti.
45
00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,832
Look, there's a piece
of garlic bread in it.
46
00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,751
That's to keep away vampires.
47
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:09,626
Oh, and who isn't afraid
of a chocolate spider?
48
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:12,093
No, that's my tarantula!
49
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,551
Aah!
50
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:18,104
[both screaming]
51
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,312
Why are you screaming?
52
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,890
We're all out of grizzly flakes!
53
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,096
Grizzly flakes!
54
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,475
No!
55
00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:29,068
Why? Why? Why?
56
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:33,149
♪ Let me tell you about the Bernsteins ♪
57
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,492
♪ Yo, I'ma let you finish ♪
58
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,282
-♪ But ding-dong ♪
-♪ Who's that? ♪
59
00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:38,445
♪ Yo, it's Crash at the door ♪
60
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:41,123
♪ Don't wait for you to openKick it down hard core ♪
61
00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:43,412
♪ A purple with a 'tudeWhere your mom hide the food? ♪
62
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:46,326
-♪ In the fridge ♪
-♪ I'ma eat it then we tear it up, dude
63
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,586
♪ No make-up or feelingsTea parties or dolls ♪
64
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,168
♪ Now it's ninjas and football ♪
65
00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:51,381
-♪ And face slams ♪
-♪ Good call ♪
66
00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:52,423
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
67
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:53,665
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
68
00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:55,127
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
69
00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:56,046
♪ What he said ♪
70
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,804
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
71
00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:58,796
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
72
00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:00,217
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
73
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:01,307
♪ What he said ♪
74
00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:03,849
♪ It's war against awesomeBut awesome's gotta soar ♪
75
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:06,273
-♪ I'll be grounded forever ♪
-♪ That's what friends are for ♪
76
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,903
♪ Crash and BernsteinCrash and Bernstein ♪
77
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,320
-♪ Crash and Bern... ♪
-♪ I said "Stein" ♪
78
00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,278
♪ What he said ♪
79
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:14,364
[chuckles]
80
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:21,657
I hear Tug Fly is awesome.
81
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:22,703
My brother said last year
82
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:25,076
he brought a beetle
that could break a pencil.
83
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,333
[scoffs] Dude, I can break a pencil.
84
00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:31,918
[straining]
85
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:34,802
[grunting]
86
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,221
Yeah. Plus,
87
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,510
the beetle could roll its dung
into a huge ball.
88
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,814
Psh. I can do that too.
89
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,388
[straining]
90
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:45,854
No! No.
91
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,314
You don't have to show me.
92
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,694
I believe you.
93
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:50,557
Hey, guys.
94
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,067
Hey.
95
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:55,318
Wyatt, you gotta take me
to see the Bug Guy on Friday!
96
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,862
I'm not going to that assembly.
97
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:59,735
I plan on staging a minor
woodshop accident.
98
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,913
Which one of my fingers
is the least important?
99
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,236
You can't miss bug day.
100
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:05,697
Yeah. I could understand
101
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,657
missing climb the Rope Day,
102
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:11,037
but bugs don't taunt you
for not getting past the first knot.
103
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,586
A real man isn't afraid of anything.
104
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,840
Obviously you haven't seen
my grandpa's toenails.
105
00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:19,005
They look like corn chips.
106
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:24,184
Bernstein, you learned this fear
and I can help you unlearn it.
107
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,984
Lucky for you I was born
with the power of purple.
108
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:28,768
-I can cure you.
-Okay.
109
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:31,772
Is there a man here today
110
00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,895
with a fear of bugs?
111
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,652
Yeah, Crash. It's me.
112
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:36,574
We all know that.
113
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:38,571
Yes. Yes.
114
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:39,743
Wyatt Bernstein,
115
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,951
on my command,
116
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:45,042
you will be free of your fear of bugs.
117
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,578
-Fear be gone!
-Ow!
118
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,503
-Did it work?
-No.
119
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,422
Oh. Let me...
120
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,090
think of something else here.
121
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:55,709
Um...
122
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,375
-Fear be gone!
-Ow!
123
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,715
What do you know? I'm cured.
124
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:01,760
Yeah!
125
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,763
-Come here, buddy. Yeah.
-All right.
126
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,931
Crash be gone!
127
00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,099
[grunts]
128
00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:17,936
[screaming on the computer]
129
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,449
Looks pretty scary.
130
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:25,200
Yeah.
Natalie said it was the scariest movie
131
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,623
she's ever seen.
132
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,791
She couldn't sleep for four days
and might need therapy.
133
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:31,833
I can't wait to see it.
134
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:34,036
Can I go with you?
135
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,335
You're too young.
It'll give you nightmares.
136
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,799
Plus, I don't want a repeat of shark week.
137
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:42,051
I'm sorry I clubbed Wyatt.
138
00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:48,387
Hey, Mom. Can I go see a movie
all my friends are seeing?
139
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:49,933
It's only a tiny bit scary.
140
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,726
You know the rule.
First I have to see it,
141
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,730
then decide if you can go.
What's it called?
142
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,022
Bloody Butcher 2: Chop House of Gore.
143
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,860
Wait, isn't that the movie being boycotted
144
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:01,192
by both the Church
and the Meat Advisory Board?
145
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:03,413
Do I really have to watch that?
146
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:06,488
It's your rule, Mom.
Nobody asked you to be a good parent.
147
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:08,905
Fine. I'll go see it tomorrow.
148
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:10,624
Can I go if she goes?
149
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,714
I can take it.
150
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:14,208
I don't think so, honey. The shark?
151
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,795
Oh. Oh, Mrs. B, Mrs. B--
152
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,090
So when you go to see
Bloody Butcher 2, can I go with you?
153
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,215
It's based on my favorite telenovela .
154
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:31,467
I'm not going to see that piece of trash.
I just told Amanda I was.
155
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,888
[gasps] You lied?
156
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:38,357
Save your judgment. Sometimes lying
is just part of being a parent.
157
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,360
Oh, well, that makes sense.
158
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:43,192
In that case, I was just being a parent
159
00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:45,318
when I said I didn't break this frame.
160
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,985
[glass shatters]
161
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,832
[laughs]
162
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:59,537
You are getting sleepy.
163
00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:01,207
No, I'm getting dizzy.
164
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,802
Wait for me to finish.
165
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:07,506
You are getting sleepy
166
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,514
and dizzy.
167
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:11,807
Now...
168
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:14,560
look into my eyes.
169
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,977
Your eyelids are getting heavy.
170
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,605
And you are asleep!
171
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,780
Listen to my voice.
172
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,662
You will make Crash sandwiches
173
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:31,080
whenever he desires.
174
00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:34,039
You will loan Crash money
175
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,210
and not make him pay you back.
176
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,959
Now...
177
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:39,581
Wake up!
178
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:42,878
You're all cured, buddy.
You know what sounds good right now?
179
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:43,882
A sandwich,
180
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:47,473
or a loan of 1,000 dollars.
181
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,340
Yes, master.
182
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,427
I keep the money under the rug.
183
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,521
[chuckles]
184
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,347
Oh!
185
00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:59,845
I wasn't even hypnotized.
And you forgot to mention bugs.
186
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:02,818
All right, Bernstein. You got me.
187
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,029
Well played.
188
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:08,200
So what rug do you keep
the sandwiches under?
189
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,368
You guys are hopeless.
190
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,278
When I was scared of thunderstorms,
191
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,327
Mom just sang me a song.
192
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:18,831
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Crash isn't gonna sing a song about--
193
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,745
♪ Ohh ♪
194
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,214
♪ I'm Mr. Inchworm ♪
195
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:23,633
♪ Inching along ♪
196
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:24,752
♪ Measuring this bed ♪
197
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,338
♪ And singing this song ♪
198
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,263
♪ While you sleepI'll crawl in your ear ♪
199
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:32,182
♪ And lay my eggs to calm your fear ♪
200
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:33,682
♪ Then my babies will hatch ♪
201
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,223
♪ And eat your brain ♪
202
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:38,226
♪ And giggle while you writhe in pain ♪
203
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,639
That's not helping.
204
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:40,938
Yeah, Crash.
205
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,441
Obviously that song is disturbing Wyatt.
206
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,073
Sing it again.
207
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,904
Whatever. I got another idea.
208
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,452
Earlier today I put a bug in this jar.
209
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,281
Crash, there's no bug in that jar.
210
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,576
Hmm.
211
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:58,366
There's no lid on that jar!
Crash, you have to find that bug.
212
00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:00,205
Relax, Bernstein.
213
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:01,710
It was just a ladybug.
214
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,631
Aah! Scorpion!
215
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,509
Mom!
216
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,511
I thought you said it was just a ladybug.
217
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,263
It's a lady scorpion.
218
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,099
Don't worry, Bernstein. You're safe.
219
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,023
[chuckles]
220
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,811
I'll put this jar on your desk.
221
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,895
Okay. Goodnight, Crash.
222
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:25,937
Goodnight, Bernstein.
223
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:35,406
♪ Oh ♪
224
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:36,912
♪ I'm a little scorpion ♪
225
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,243
♪ I can open jars-- ♪
226
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:39,538
Not helping!
227
00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,161
Sorry.
228
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:50,335
Good morning.
229
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,473
Look, buddy. You're cured.
230
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,970
You spent the whole night covered in bugs.
231
00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:01,854
Crash?
232
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,305
Tell me they're fake.
233
00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,605
I can't. I already told them
that you're fake.
234
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:08,149
Relax, the scorpion's still in its jar.
235
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:09,403
Oh.
236
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:10,324
No, it isn't.
237
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:13,026
Here, ladybug.
238
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:15,912
Here, ladybug.
239
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,161
The hissing means they like me, right?
240
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,633
Aah!
241
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:31,508
I'm sure she'll turn up.
242
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,169
Great job, Crash.
243
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:34,798
I used to be annoyed by bugs,
244
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:37,144
but now I'm freaking out!
245
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:40,350
I don't know why you're scared of bugs.
They can't hurt you.
246
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:42,022
I got bit on the finger and I'm fine.
247
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:45,521
Fine?
248
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,943
Crash, your hand is not fine. It's huge!
249
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,740
You're right. Only one thing to do.
250
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,699
Take me to Mount Rushmore!
251
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:57,279
I'm going to pick Teddy Roosevelt's nose.
252
00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:02,575
♪ Hey, hey, hey, come on ♪
253
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:04,368
Hey.
254
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:06,876
[screams]
255
00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:10,673
I mean... hey.
256
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,466
You want some eggs?
257
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:17,255
Why are you so jumpy?
Anything you want to tell me?
258
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,144
Like maybe about a movie you saw?
259
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,386
How did you find out?
260
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:24,893
Your friend posted a picture
of you vomiting in your purse.
261
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,477
Really?
262
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:28,982
How did my hair look?
263
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,398
Better than your purse.
264
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,453
I wish I'd never gone to see that movie.
265
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,698
I keep seeing that guy
popping up out of nowhere.
266
00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:39,321
Like this?
267
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:40,617
[screams]
268
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,080
[screams]
269
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,040
Are you okay?
270
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:46,209
Yeah. We were playing a game
of who could scream loudest.
271
00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:47,459
I won.
272
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:51,748
Hey, Mom,
did you ever go see that scary movie?
273
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:55,166
Because Amanda can't see it until you do.
274
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,176
Yes. I did see Bloody Baker 2.
275
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,678
You mean Bloody Butcher ?
276
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:02,060
Yes. It was so scary I-I forgot the name.
277
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,518
[clears throat]
278
00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:05,058
So, um...
279
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,101
I'm sorry, but you can't see it.
280
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:08,305
Okay.
281
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,650
That's it? No fight?
282
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,322
No telling me I'm the worst mom
in the world?
283
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,992
Maybe some other time.
284
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,239
Hey, Mom.
We should have sloppy joes for dinner.
285
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:24,124
All that freshly ground blood red meat?
286
00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:25,582
Yum.
287
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,372
I gotta go.
288
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,378
Mom, you'd better hide your purse.
289
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:34,548
-Hey, check out my meat hook!
-Aah!
290
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:41,390
That's quite a bite.
291
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:44,560
Okay. Let's take a listen to your heart.
292
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:48,478
[conga music playing]
293
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:55,284
It's a little irregular, but catchy.
294
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:57,653
Okay.
295
00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,486
Let's check your reflexes.
296
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:00,611
Okay.
297
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:03,320
Ow!
298
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:05,785
Why don't you try the other knee?
299
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:13,629
[yells]
300
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,589
Okay.
301
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,591
Delayed reflex on right knee.
302
00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:20,223
Good left cross.
303
00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:24,263
Okay. Let me look in your ears.
304
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,018
Wyatt? Is that you?
305
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:34,063
What's up, doc?
306
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:37,856
Now, the swelling in your hand
is just a reaction to the bite.
307
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,902
I'll give you a shot and you'll be fine.
308
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,986
However I don't know how long
before you return to a normal color.
309
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:46,623
What's a shot?
310
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:48,081
Oh, it's no big deal.
311
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,201
It's like a pinch.
312
00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:50,747
You'll barely even feel it.
313
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,040
[scary music]
314
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:56,043
[screams]
315
00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:59,047
Come on. I thought you said
that real men weren't afraid of anything.
316
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:02,090
That was before Dr. Stabby
came at me with the ice pick.
317
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,925
Hold him down.
318
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,890
No. No, no, no. No, no, no.
319
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:06,890
Now, now, now.
320
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,143
Pay no attention to the needle.
321
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:11,774
Concentrate on my mustache.
322
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:14,845
No. No!
323
00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:18,018
No, no, no. [muttering]
324
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,819
It's like I'm skating.
325
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,279
I must be dreaming.
326
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,618
Cool.
327
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,463
-Isn't it wonderful?
-[screams]
328
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,295
Whoa.
329
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,430
Thank goodness it's you, baby.
330
00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:47,099
Things were getting a little weird.
331
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,638
Aah!
332
00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:52,426
[screams]
333
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:53,517
Aah!
334
00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:59,018
Aah! [screams]
335
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:02,397
[screaming]
336
00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:10,043
[panting]
337
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:12,328
Oh boy.
338
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,292
All that running sure made me thirsty.
339
00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,462
[humming]
340
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,840
[screams]
341
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,210
[gasps]
342
00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:23,717
Oh. Bernstein?
343
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:26,758
I just had the craziest dream.
344
00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,724
[scary music]
345
00:15:28,803 --> 00:15:30,603
No!
346
00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:32,845
[grunts]
347
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,642
Bernstein? Bernstein?
348
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,226
I just had the craziest--
349
00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:38,101
Wait. I'm not falling for that again.
350
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,608
Mustache attack!
351
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:41,857
Crash, what's your problem?
352
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,781
I'm pretty sure it's mustaches.
353
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,284
Aah!
354
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,082
Crash. Let me in.
355
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:57,752
I checked. There are no mustaches
anywhere in the apartment.
356
00:15:57,832 --> 00:16:00,672
That's exactly what a mustache would say.
357
00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:02,302
[grunts]
358
00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:03,879
[gasps]
359
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,682
Crash, I really don't think you want
to stay in this room
360
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:07,968
for the rest of your life.
361
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,101
It's not safe out there.
362
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:13,058
There are three mustaches
on this floor alone.
363
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,639
The Ruiz brothers and Mrs. Mandola.
364
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:19,766
You can't let some ridiculous fear
of facial hair ruin your life.
365
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:22,734
What about your dream
of becoming a motorcycle cop?
366
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:24,606
[scoffs] You should talk.
367
00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:26,533
Don't you have to go write
a note to the nurse
368
00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:28,241
so you can get out of Bug Day?
369
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,201
Oh yeah? Well, you know what?
370
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:31,781
I'll make you a deal.
371
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,696
I'll go to school
tomorrow to see the Bug Guy
372
00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:36,035
if you man up and leave
the apartment and come with me.
373
00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:38,251
But you hate bugs.
374
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,131
That's what brothers do for each other.
375
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,708
Really?
376
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:45,923
So there've been other brothers
in history where one's afraid of bugs
377
00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:47,876
and the other's afraid of mustaches
378
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,376
and they go to a school assembly
379
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:51,467
to help them conquer
their individual fears?
380
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:54,263
I guess in some parallel universe
381
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,097
there could be two brothers
with the exact same fears.
382
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,733
[laughs] Those dudes are losers.
383
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:00,981
[laughing]
384
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:01,902
Yeah.
385
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,065
Losers.
386
00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:05,399
Yeah.
387
00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:06,653
Yeah. Pow!
388
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,787
Honey, are you okay?
389
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,002
Mm-mm.
390
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,461
You look freaked out.
391
00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:24,634
Did you drop your cell phone
in the toilet again?
392
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:25,671
Mm-mm.
393
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:29,054
-Someone wore the same blouse as you?
-Mm-mm.
394
00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:33,048
Help me out here, Amanda.
What else do you care about?
395
00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:37,102
Cleo?
396
00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:39,852
What are you doing eating
barbecue for breakfast?
397
00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:41,274
Why?
398
00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:43,233
Does Amanda want some?
399
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:44,863
Get that away from me!
400
00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:46,689
I can't take this anymore.
401
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:50,195
How can you be so calm
after seeing Bloody Butcher 2 ?
402
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:51,448
I'm a wreck.
403
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:54,950
Wait, you saw the movie
after I told you not to?
404
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:57,453
Yes. I'm sorry, I should have never gone.
405
00:17:57,535 --> 00:18:00,035
I'm the worst kid
and you're the best mom.
406
00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:02,501
I can't believe you went to see
that movie for me.
407
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,792
Well...
408
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:06,665
a mother does those things
for her children.
409
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:09,844
I can't stop thinking
about that cheerleader.
410
00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:12,877
I know. That poor girl.
411
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:15,097
It was a guy! It's like you didn't even--
412
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,520
[gasps] You didn't see the movie!
413
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,848
You lied to me.
414
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:23,353
Mine was more a harmless fib,
unlike yours which was--
415
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,356
Okay, we both lied.
416
00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:28,897
I'm very disappointed in both of you.
417
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:30,493
Give me your phones!
418
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,080
We're all clear.
419
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:44,834
-No mustaches.
-Oh, good.
420
00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:46,876
Let's sit in the back
and play it cool, huh?
421
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,170
Good. If any bugs get loose,
they'll have to eat six kids
422
00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:51,505
before they get to me.
423
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,009
Hey, kids.
424
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:54,761
I'm Tug Fly "The Bug Guy".
425
00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:56,393
But you can call me Tug,
426
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,599
or Mr. The Bug Guy.
427
00:18:58,680 --> 00:18:59,760
[laughing]
428
00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:03,019
Sometimes tells me
there's no Mrs. The Bug Guy.
429
00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,941
[laughing]
430
00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:08,520
Hey, look at you making jokes.
I'm proud of you. High five.
431
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:10,816
I need a volunteer.
Okay, you with your hand up.
432
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,400
I wasn't raising my hand.
433
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,356
Are you calling me a liar?
434
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,320
No.
435
00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:19,236
Don't be shy. Come on up.
Come on, show him some support.
436
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:22,155
-[applause]
-You can do it, Bernstein.
437
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:25,325
All right, I would like
to introduce to you all
438
00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:28,535
the very rare Peruvian
439
00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:32,384
slimy millipede.
440
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:33,514
Ooh.
441
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:36,970
Yes. It's completely harmless.
442
00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:39,135
Unless it smells fear.
443
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:42,966
And it has a very keen sense of smell.
444
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:46,642
-Whoa. This wasn't part of the deal.
-There you go.
445
00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:49,648
Now, in Peru, these millipedes
are considered good luck.
446
00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:52,611
Although they haven't exactly
helped old Tug at the track.
447
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:53,992
I tell you that.
448
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,782
Hey, this isn't bad at all.
449
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,744
It kind of tickles.
450
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,083
He-he's doing it.
451
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,410
I'm so proud of him.
452
00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:05,615
If Bernstein
can overcome his fear of bugs,
453
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,865
I can overcome my fear.
454
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,212
[gasps]
455
00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:13,764
Mustache!
456
00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:16,168
-[grunts]
-[yells]
457
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,756
[screaming]
458
00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:21,054
[laughs]
459
00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:29,149
I'm getting a faint pulse.
460
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,359
Oh, not this one!
461
00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:32,979
Not this one!
462
00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:35,396
Way to go, Bernstein. You beat your fear.
463
00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:37,065
Yeah. I guess I did.
464
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:38,953
You showed up a scared boy,
465
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:42,080
but stared danger in the face
and became a man.
466
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:45,618
And as a man, some day,
you will grow a mustache.
467
00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:47,874
Until that day, we are friends.
468
00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:55,837
[groaning]
469
00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:02,644
-[scary music]
-[screams]
470
00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:04,221
Oh, hey, Mrs. B.
471
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,885
I'm making a PB and J. Want half?
472
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:10,189
[screams]
473
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,270
Relax, it's just a sandwich.
474
00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:13,975
I'm sorry.
475
00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:15,775
I'm a little on edge.
476
00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:19,739
I just saw a horrible movie
about a horrible butcher
477
00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:21,781
who does horrible things
478
00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:24,405
because I am a good parent!
479
00:21:24,492 --> 00:21:27,162
[sobbing]
480
00:21:28,163 --> 00:21:29,503
It's sticky.
481
00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:35,881
♪ Crash and Bern , hard core ♪
482
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:39,132
♪ Bass, bass ♪
483
00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:44,553
♪ What ♪
484
00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:48,427
♪ That's what friends are for ♪
485
00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:49,726
♪ Crash and Bern ♪
486
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:51,019
♪ Tear it up, dude ♪
487
00:21:52,437 --> 00:21:53,807
♪ Good call ♪
488
00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:55,767
♪ Crash and BernCrash and Bern ♪
489
00:21:55,857 --> 00:21:58,487
-♪ I said, "Stein" ♪
-♪ What he said ♪
33436
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.