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1
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Previously on
Californication...
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00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,468
- Come on up, honey.
- Tyler switched drinks,
3
00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:14,013
thought it would be funny
to watch him get drunk.
4
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:16,055
Jesus, that kid really is a young me.
5
00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:18,015
Give me a hug. There you go.
6
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:19,133
Don't wait up.
7
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:20,432
Is he with you by any chance?
8
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,181
No, I've never seen him
before in my life.
9
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,932
Yo, ain't this the little Romeo
we had to smack down at
10
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,055
the club the other night?
11
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:26,525
Yes, yes, it is.
12
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,484
Dad, what did you do?
13
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,362
I did... I did nothing.
Will you tell them?
14
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,772
I knew it was important to him,
so I took care of it.
15
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,574
That's what we do for each other.
16
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,947
Well, that's plenty of time
to take Kali out.
17
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:41,122
Good Job. Keep your motherfucking
paws off her, Moody.
18
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:42,788
And your fucking penis.
19
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:47,171
No, that's fucking Kali's
new boyfriend right there, man.
20
00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:50,173
Oh, she's got a...
A new boyfriend, does she?
21
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:52,002
Sooner or later
he's gonna find out about us.
22
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:53,422
I'm not gonna tell him.
Are you gonna tell him?
23
00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:55,837
- No fucking way.
- So we don't have a problem.
24
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,462
Let me ask you a question.
25
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,846
If you're leaving tonight,
like, this very night,
26
00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:01,346
what's the harm in a goodbye kiss?
27
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:03,144
Maybe just one.
28
00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:29,672
Batesy.
29
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:33,004
Hank?
30
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,963
Good God, man,
you gave me the fuckin' willies.
31
00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,928
Thought it'd help my cause.
32
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:40,173
Who can turn their backs
on a sad clown?
33
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,430
Let me guess.
My wife and your daughter.
34
00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:46,431
Not even so much as a smile.
35
00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:48,393
You still hittin' the sauce?
36
00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:50,560
Yeah, but, I mean,
I got it under control.
37
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:51,732
Uh-huh.
38
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:55,652
Falling off the wagon is typically
followed by a bit of a bender.
39
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:59,114
I mean, it usually worked
itself out in a week or three.
40
00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:00,483
Oh.
41
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,031
I'm not worried.
42
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,119
I'm glad to hear that.
43
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:07,788
I'm sorry, Hank.
44
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,954
OK? They'll get over it.
45
00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,422
- Eventually.
- Yeah.
46
00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:14,342
Yeah, in a week or three,
but that's the thing about this thing.
47
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:16,300
- Hmm.
- There's nothing to get over.
48
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:18,634
- Hey.
- I didn't actually do anything.
49
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,928
Uh, you... You're preaching
to the choir, honey.
50
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:22,558
OK? I wouldn't give two fucks
51
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,101
if you had done it the way
they think you've done it.
52
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,301
But I didn't done it.
53
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,139
OK. I get it.
54
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:30,935
Man, you know I'd never tell, right?
55
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:33,778
That shit would be between
you, me and the wall.
56
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:35,060
I'd take a fuckin' blood oath.
57
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,029
- Nothing actually happened.
- OK.
58
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,823
- So there's nothing to tell you.
- I believe you.
59
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,652
It's due today, so...
60
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,618
- I'm sorry, baby.
- I'm sorry, baby.
61
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,327
Come in. I'll make you some breakfast.
62
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,123
Ooh, yummy,
that sounds good. I could eat.
63
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:49,248
Can you tell him
I'm not talking to him?
64
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,961
- She's not talking to him.
- What?
65
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,955
Well, that's a fine how-do-you-do-do.
66
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,708
You'll forgive him, but not me?
67
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,045
I'll work on her for you.
68
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,510
One day at a time, Batesy.
69
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,804
Ah, hells to the no!
70
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:04,714
Hank fuckin' Moody.
71
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:07,099
No more notes, Sam. I can't take it.
72
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,385
Just find another writer.
73
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,473
I won't be offended. I promise.
74
00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:11,894
It ain't about that movie shit, man.
75
00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:13,976
I need to see your ass now, tho'.
76
00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:16,439
- What about?
- Kali.
77
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,274
What about Kali?
78
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:20,779
Not over the phone, nigga.
79
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,323
Just get your ass over
to my studio right now.
80
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,995
- You hear me?
- Yeah. I'm coming.
81
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,743
Or else my boys come get you,
nigga, your choice.
82
00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:31,329
No, no, no, no. No, that's OK.
83
00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,247
Don't blow me off, Moody.
I'm serious, man.
84
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:34,583
I'm on my way.
85
00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:36,132
All right, motherfucker.
86
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,265
I can explain.
87
00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:34,479
You better fuckin'
explain yourself, motherfucker.
88
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,274
Well, it was a long flight.
89
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,269
You know, we got to talking.
90
00:04:38,362 --> 00:04:40,105
One thing led to another.
91
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:41,774
What the fuck you talkin' about, man?
92
00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:44,857
I don't know.
What the fuck am I talkin' about?
93
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:45,983
What the fuck am I...
94
00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,489
What the fuck are you talkin' about?
95
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:51,332
I'm talkin' about the fact
that you're always fuckin' late, man.
96
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:52,448
Oh, all right.
97
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:53,871
That's some real
passive-aggressive shit, right?
98
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,084
You think your time is more valuable
than my time, don't you?
99
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:57,713
- Actually...
- I sense that shit, man.
100
00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:00,253
Actually, I don't. I don't.
But in a larger sense,
101
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,335
my time will always be my time.
102
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,254
So it will always mean
more to me personally.
103
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,089
Man, shut the fuck up
and buy a watch, nigga.
104
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:07,212
All right.
105
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,763
In the meantime, nigga,
I need your help, Moody.
106
00:05:09,852 --> 00:05:12,343
How can I be of service, my liege?
107
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:13,718
I got this piece of music here, right?
108
00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:37,707
That is mighty purty.
109
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,540
It's like vintage Elton John there.
110
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,505
Yeah, well, this bitch
ain't no fuckin' Bernie Taupin.
111
00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:43,134
You see, that's why we can't
write together, Calvin.
112
00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:45,460
Because if I'm not sleeping with him,
he's a total fucking asshole.
113
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:46,585
Yeah, well, you know...
114
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,008
She can't write
no fuckin' lyrics, yo.
115
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:49,806
Just a pretty face
and a fuckin' smile.
116
00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:52,892
All right, all right, all right.
Well, how can I help?
117
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,184
Help the girl write
some fuckin' lyrics, man.
118
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,387
Oh, no, no.
119
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:59,518
I write books, screenplays, emails...
120
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,152
Nigga, writin' is writin', man.
121
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,145
- I don't.
- Help a brother out.
122
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,659
OK, I'll give it a shot.
123
00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:12,033
But we're gonna have
to get good and drunk first.
124
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:15,158
See, now, that's the best fuckin'
idea I've heard all day. Let's go.
125
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,667
- All right, so where do we start?
- I don't know.
126
00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,746
It's obviously a love song, right?
127
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,666
So what rhymes with love?
128
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,501
Dove, shove.
129
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:28,087
"Did you just shove a dove
up my ass and call it love?" Done!
130
00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:29,930
Writing lyrics is easy.
131
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,178
Next!
132
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,302
OK, the no-fun face.
133
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,967
- What do you wanna write about?
- I just don't want it to be cheesy.
134
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,814
I didn't come all the way here
to write cheesy love songs.
135
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,227
Sorry, that's my thing.
136
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:43,686
I specialise in cheese.
Big, gooey globs of it.
137
00:06:43,779 --> 00:06:44,858
You're out of luck.
138
00:06:44,947 --> 00:06:46,690
OK, I just want it to be...
139
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,367
Bittersweet and dark.
140
00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:53,034
Well, you are nothing
if not a semi-sweet piece of...
141
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,408
Milk chocolate?
142
00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,039
- You are cheesy.
- Yeah.
143
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,920
Speaking of love and whatnot, um...
144
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:04,757
Oh, two whiskies, barkeep, please,
and keep 'em coming.
145
00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:06,964
I think the Samurai is deep in it.
146
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:08,131
With you.
147
00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:09,762
God, please.
148
00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:11,471
What the fuck does that guy
know about love?
149
00:07:11,557 --> 00:07:13,265
He's a spoiled man-child.
150
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,185
He gets whatever he wants
and he can't have me.
151
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:17,978
He just wants to control his product.
152
00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:19,094
I don't think that's it.
153
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:21,396
I think everybody's
got that special someone
154
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,227
that gets under their skin
and doesn't go away.
155
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:26,272
I think maybe you have that
particular fungal property for him.
156
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:31,900
All right, so if somebody was
asking me about a short story,
157
00:07:31,994 --> 00:07:34,829
I'd ask them,
"What are you trying to say?"
158
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:37,821
I don't know.
159
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:39,245
Um...
160
00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:45,454
I'd love to talk about
coming to L.A. For the first time.
161
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:50,252
And the fact that you
tend to leave something
162
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,970
or someone behind.
163
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,514
All right.
164
00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:55,887
Now we're getting somewhere.
I can relate to that.
165
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,811
I can remember that shit
as if it were fuckin' yesterday.
166
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,692
So what do you think?
167
00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:08,103
I don't know, you know.
I think we should keep looking.
168
00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:09,525
- Really?
- Yeah.
169
00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:10,943
Oh, I got a good feeling
about this place.
170
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:12,575
- Really?
- Especially the bedroom.
171
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,451
I think we could get up
to some trouble in there.
172
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,196
You've said that about
every place we've seen.
173
00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:19,040
Well, that's just a tribute to how
warm I am for your form, woman.
174
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:21,615
You know what? I'm still chafing
from this morning, so...
175
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,453
I'm sorry. Hotels make me horny.
176
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:25,289
- What doesn't make you horny, baby?
- Um...
177
00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:27,663
Cockroaches.
178
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,503
Dead babies.
179
00:08:29,593 --> 00:08:30,756
Poop.
180
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,420
- Shut up.
- Look how close we'd be to the beach.
181
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,672
- And the homeless.
- Which would surely alleviate
182
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:38,767
any homesickness
for New York that might develop.
183
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,307
Oh, God. You so don't
wanna do this, huh?
184
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:43,519
You know what, I just think of Becca.
185
00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:44,722
- Yeah?
- And, I...
186
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,015
And it... It feels all wrong.
187
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:48,398
But she's so little and adaptable.
188
00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:50,526
Not to mention
totally dependent on us.
189
00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:53,278
If she complained at all, we could
easily threaten to abandon her.
190
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:56,071
I'm pretty sure that would
shut her up immediately.
191
00:08:57,788 --> 00:08:59,662
You really sure about this?
192
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,830
I'm not, no. Not at all.
193
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:03,292
- Jesus.
- Charlie thought it would be
194
00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:05,120
a good idea for me
to spend some time out here,
195
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:08,581
so people could put this
beautiful visage to the name.
196
00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:10,832
And I'm trying to do
what my agent says for once,
197
00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:13,880
rather than just telling him
to fuck off and get me paid.
198
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,679
- You know what?
- What?
199
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:17,848
We were doing just fine.
200
00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:19,926
- No, we weren't.
- Yes, we were, we were.
201
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:22,058
We couldn't even afford cable, Karen.
202
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:24,138
- That was a choice.
- Really?
203
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:25,974
- Yes.
- Whatever.
204
00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:28,730
You're not being
a very supportive baby mama.
205
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:31,904
I thought I was your muse.
206
00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:33,364
You are.
207
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,984
And right now, you're
inspiring me to point out
208
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,448
that compared to what we pay for
in New York for a broom closet,
209
00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:40,161
that place is a steal.
210
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:44,250
Plus, you'd get that.
211
00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:47,587
Just like home.
212
00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,838
So, next we have...
213
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,001
We need to go to, um...
214
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,838
- What is it, Sepulveda?
- Sepulveda?
215
00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:00,218
Look alive.
216
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,802
Ah, sorry.
217
00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:06,679
- Where'd you just go?
- Nowhere. Just digging deep.
218
00:10:07,733 --> 00:10:08,978
OK.
219
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,352
What rhymes with vagina?
220
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:12,856
I'm not gonna sing "vagina."
221
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:16,149
Your loss. That could be
some seriously groundbreaking shit.
222
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,282
Yeah, some songwriter you are.
223
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:21,286
Ooh, ooh, ooh, here we go,
here we go. I got something here.
224
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:22,403
- You ready?
- Yep.
225
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:24,371
People think it's funny.
226
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:25,917
But it's really hot and runny.
227
00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:28,539
Diarrhoea. Diarrhoea.
228
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:31,036
People think it's gross.
But it's really good on toast.
229
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,836
Diarrhoea. Diarrhoea.
Here comes the chorus.
230
00:10:33,926 --> 00:10:35,669
- Diarrhoea, cha-cha-cha. Diarrhoea.
- OK, asshole.
231
00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:37,089
Come on, come on, come on.
This is my career.
232
00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:38,459
You don't wanna have any fun? No fun.
233
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,797
OK, no fun, no fun. All right,
what do you want to write about?
234
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:43,556
I don't know. I just...
235
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,435
Well, tell me about
the guy you left behind.
236
00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:48,099
You know, that guy. That one.
237
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,470
Um...
238
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,437
He was jealous.
239
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:55,228
Well, you seem to attract
the jealous type,
240
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:56,733
you bad girl, you.
241
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:59,397
I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.
242
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,403
A hip-hop Jessica Rabbit, huh?
243
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:06,659
He didn't like the attention
I was getting from our friend Samurai.
244
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,125
Well, who could blame him?
245
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:11,994
And that I got the offer to come here
and to make a record.
246
00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:13,251
So...
247
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:19,669
I have an offer for you!
248
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,972
- Why are you yelling?
- It's my style.
249
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:25,015
My thing. It's bombastic.
250
00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:26,762
My clients love it.
251
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:28,514
- Not this client.
- Oh.
252
00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:30,099
Sorry.
253
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,305
What's the offer?
254
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,273
There is a script. It's at Universal.
255
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,816
They're about to start production.
They need a polish.
256
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,315
Oh, I can polish things.
257
00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:38,568
- Ah.
- Yeah.
258
00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:40,733
You have never polished anything...
259
00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:42,486
- Karen.
- In your entire life, ever.
260
00:11:42,578 --> 00:11:44,036
Do I not polish
your beautiful lady parts
261
00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:45,698
on a semi-nightly basis?
262
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:47,663
Nailed it!
263
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:49,707
How much?
264
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,919
Twenty-five a week.
265
00:11:53,589 --> 00:11:54,834
Twenty-five...
266
00:11:55,424 --> 00:11:56,704
Grand.
267
00:11:57,009 --> 00:11:58,882
- Look at his face.
- I love L.A.
268
00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:00,547
I love it! I love it.
269
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:03,045
I said it, I meant it.
I'm here to represent it.
270
00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:04,634
- You know that.
- Who are you right now?
271
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,516
- I don't know. I don't know.
- Whoo!
272
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,766
You're gonna love it
here too, Karenina.
273
00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:11,261
- They kissed.
- I'm telling you. Ooh, ooh.
274
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:14,772
I don't think that a decision
has yet been made.
275
00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,983
- Why?
- Well, because, you know,
276
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,446
we're still looking at places.
277
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:19,728
Uh, "we" means "she."
278
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:21,531
- I sensed that.
- Yeah.
279
00:12:21,617 --> 00:12:22,815
You know what?
280
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:25,910
This motherfucker had to drag me
kicking and screaming here.
281
00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:27,075
At first, I hated it.
282
00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:29,038
Now, I fucking love it.
283
00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:30,749
OK, what do you love about it?
284
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,827
Everything is fucking fake!
285
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,544
OK? The houses are like sets,
286
00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:36,788
and the people are
indistinguishable from actors.
287
00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:37,997
It's awesome.
288
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:41,092
Hank's career is
about to explode, Karen.
289
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,838
He needs to be here.
290
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,424
Charlie Runkle.
291
00:12:44,515 --> 00:12:47,088
- Ah, Allie, so nice to see you.
- You too.
292
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,561
Is this him?
293
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:54,603
Hank Moody, Allie Andrews,
your executive on God Hates Us All.
294
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:57,099
- Ah, nice to meet you.
- You didn't tell me he was gorgeous.
295
00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:58,985
Well, for you to discover.
296
00:12:59,071 --> 00:13:00,648
It's great to finally meet you, Hank.
297
00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:02,447
- I'm a huge fan.
- No, you're not.
298
00:13:02,533 --> 00:13:04,075
Oh, I'm not, huh?
299
00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:06,864
I am a huge fan, Hank. I swear.
300
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,911
I love you.
I cannot wait to get started.
301
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,195
Wow. People are very excitable here.
302
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,832
You notice that, Karen?
303
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:12,996
- Allie, is it?
- Uh-huh.
304
00:13:13,085 --> 00:13:17,082
This is Karen.
Karen is my best friend, my lover.
305
00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:19,081
- Don't tell her.
- And my baby mama.
306
00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:20,550
- Did I cover it?
- Yeah.
307
00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:22,377
- Pretty much?
- Nice to meet you, Allie.
308
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,880
- Nice to meet you, too.
- Hi.
309
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:26,129
Hey, could I pull you aside
and buy you a drink?
310
00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:28,262
I know we've got a meeting
on the books for tomorrow,
311
00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:31,684
but I would love to hit the ground
running and get you up to speed.
312
00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:35,262
Go. Hit the ground running.
Get up to speed.
313
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:37,515
OK.
You know how I love jargon.
314
00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:42,356
There's something
you're not telling me.
315
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,191
You're holding out on me, lady.
316
00:13:48,412 --> 00:13:51,448
Because what if I think
the truth makes me a bad person?
317
00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:55,660
Maybe the truth is what you need
to finish this song.
318
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:04,086
The night I left for L.A.,
the night that I met you on the plane.
319
00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:06,799
- Mmm-hmm.
- Me and my ex had one last dinner.
320
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:10,338
And we'd been arguing a lot, you know.
321
00:14:10,976 --> 00:14:13,301
And, to be honest,
I was happy to leave town.
322
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:15,852
But that night, he was so sweet.
323
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,812
He was actually the guy
that I had been in love with
324
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,893
for as long as I can remember.
325
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:24,985
And I wanted to stay.
326
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,279
I wanted to be with him.
327
00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:31,616
But then he asked me
if I slept with Samurai.
328
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,413
And I lied.
329
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:35,621
I told him what he wanted to hear.
330
00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:39,250
And then he pulled a ring out
and asked me to marry him.
331
00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:40,963
Ohh.
332
00:14:41,507 --> 00:14:43,084
What'd you say?
333
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,926
Nothing.
334
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:50,597
I was speechless.
335
00:14:52,643 --> 00:14:56,142
I got up, I went to the bathroom.
I splashed some water on my face.
336
00:15:02,653 --> 00:15:04,645
I slipped out the back,
337
00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:06,274
jumped in a cab,
338
00:15:06,365 --> 00:15:08,073
and went straight to the airport.
339
00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:12,703
Didn't look back.
340
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:17,449
I knew, if I went back to the table,
I would have said yes.
341
00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:22,077
But...
342
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:24,754
Then my dreams would never come true.
343
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:05,286
Hey, lady.
344
00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:06,413
Come on back to bed.
345
00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:08,382
I found this in your pocket.
346
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:11,220
Allie Andrews.
347
00:16:11,305 --> 00:16:12,585
"Please call me any time."
348
00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:14,056
Come on.
Give me a break, Karen.
349
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,386
- I didn't even look at it.
- She's a...
350
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,555
Shows you how much I care.
351
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,054
You looked like you cared last night.
352
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,184
Well, she was full of
kind words and flattery.
353
00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:22,146
- Who doesn't like that sort of thing?
- She's a huge fan.
354
00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:24,189
- What's not to like?
- She would totally fuck you.
355
00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:26,601
Yes, and I only want to fuck you.
356
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:27,858
- So what?
- Yeah, right now.
357
00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:29,227
- But that could change, you know.
- No.
358
00:16:29,323 --> 00:16:30,900
- L.A. Changes people.
- No, no, no.
359
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:33,149
Cities don't change people.
360
00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:34,565
People don't even change people.
361
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,321
We are who we are.
362
00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:40,498
Do you really think
we're gonna beat the odds?
363
00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:43,336
Fuck the odds.
You know, we make our own odds.
364
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:47,423
You're incredibly naive.
365
00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:50,508
And you're incredibly incredible.
366
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:53,011
Not to mention beautiful.
367
00:16:53,931 --> 00:16:56,600
And, after all these years,
you still get me wetter
368
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,388
than a West African slut
during monsoon season.
369
00:16:59,478 --> 00:17:01,554
Oh, my God,
I'm so not charmed by that.
370
00:17:01,647 --> 00:17:03,057
- That's repulsive.
- No, you are charmed.
371
00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:05,057
Because you know I love you long time.
372
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:08,481
And no trampy D-girl
this side of the Mississippi
373
00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:10,527
is ever gonna change any of that.
374
00:17:10,948 --> 00:17:12,276
Really?
375
00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,778
Now, come on.
376
00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:18,155
Come on back to bed.
377
00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:19,956
Let's californicate.
378
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,156
Really?
379
00:17:22,251 --> 00:17:23,626
Is it different here?
380
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,288
- A little bit.
- OK.
381
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,457
Let's get wet.
382
00:17:30,676 --> 00:17:31,755
Fuck.
383
00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:37,430
This is cheesy, Hank.
384
00:17:37,516 --> 00:17:38,796
Fuck you.
385
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,684
I'm just kidding.
386
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:42,764
It's beautiful.
387
00:17:43,814 --> 00:17:45,142
Yeah, you think you can work with it?
388
00:17:46,984 --> 00:17:48,941
I hope so.
I mean, they're beautiful words.
389
00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:50,854
Yeah, but they're just words.
390
00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:52,697
You gotta make the music.
391
00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:55,568
Well, I definitely think
I can make them work.
392
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:58,615
They're like a time machine.
Take me back to New York.
393
00:17:59,830 --> 00:18:02,784
I remember exactly how excited I was,
394
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:04,452
and how sad and scared.
395
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:08,785
Do you think you'll ever
make it back to your guy?
396
00:18:10,299 --> 00:18:11,709
I don't know.
397
00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:15,720
I spend a lot of time
going back and forth in my head
398
00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:17,927
about what might have been.
399
00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:20,762
And, uh, just as well.
400
00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:24,139
I know the feeling.
401
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:27,102
I think that there are
people in your life who...
402
00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:29,145
They inspire art.
403
00:18:30,027 --> 00:18:33,063
You know, and you blow them up
into these mythical characters
404
00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:36,820
and you give them
all those magical qualities.
405
00:18:38,744 --> 00:18:41,864
But maybe they're just stepping stones
for something bigger and better.
406
00:18:42,748 --> 00:18:44,705
That's a pretty cynical
way to look at things.
407
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,072
Yeah, well, look at you.
408
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,741
I mean, shit,
I got a fuckin' song out of you.
409
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,422
That's fuckin' cool.
410
00:18:51,507 --> 00:18:53,795
God, I feel so exploited.
411
00:18:55,344 --> 00:18:57,004
What do I get in exchange
for digging deep
412
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:58,376
and baring your soul?
413
00:19:04,353 --> 00:19:05,763
Anything you want.
414
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,356
No, I...
415
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:11,484
I don't think it's right to capitalise
416
00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:13,477
on all this heartbreak and champagne.
417
00:19:13,654 --> 00:19:15,527
It's more than that,
and I think you know that.
418
00:19:15,614 --> 00:19:16,812
- I do?
- Mmm-hmm.
419
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:22,198
Because, no matter
how messy or wrong...
420
00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:26,948
Or how much of a shitload
of trouble we can get into,
421
00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:28,584
we just keep coming back.
422
00:19:30,838 --> 00:19:32,248
True that.
423
00:19:41,557 --> 00:19:43,514
Or maybe that's what makes it so hot.
424
00:19:58,782 --> 00:19:59,980
Can I get you another water?
425
00:20:00,075 --> 00:20:01,320
Mmm.
426
00:20:02,578 --> 00:20:05,329
- No, I'm fine.
- Yeah, you don't look fine.
427
00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:07,159
- How do I look?
- Thunderstruck.
428
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:08,328
Mmm.
429
00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:09,531
That's a good word.
430
00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:11,251
Look, I know it's a lot to take in.
431
00:20:12,004 --> 00:20:14,043
Maybe I should call Charlie.
432
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,543
Why? What would you say?
433
00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,791
I don't think I'd say anything.
I'd just scream.
434
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,592
- I understand. I do.
- You do?
435
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,305
Your book is brilliant.
436
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,679
And now we're gonna
make it into a movie.
437
00:20:25,767 --> 00:20:28,175
- But you gotta trust me.
- But it's not a romantic comedy.
438
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,144
- I know what I'm doing.
- It's not a romantic comedy.
439
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:33,480
Your book is deeply romantic
and very funny.
440
00:20:33,567 --> 00:20:35,524
But it's also very dark
and bittersweet.
441
00:20:35,611 --> 00:20:37,402
Mmm-hmm. Totally.
442
00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:44,608
Mmm.
443
00:20:45,204 --> 00:20:46,614
Is this really happening?
444
00:20:46,914 --> 00:20:48,289
- Yes.
- Hmm.
445
00:20:48,624 --> 00:20:51,459
And you're not exactly responding
446
00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:53,868
in the appropriate manner.
What's that about?
447
00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:56,162
Uh, it's about the fact
that my better half
448
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:58,415
would cut off my dick
if she knew what was going on.
449
00:20:58,592 --> 00:21:00,003
Well, then you probably
shouldn't mention it.
450
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:01,338
Well, I'm not going to.
451
00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:03,219
She already thinks
you're a woman of ill-repute.
452
00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:04,468
She's right.
453
00:21:04,556 --> 00:21:05,837
I wish I could tell her, though.
454
00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:06,964
She'd be thrilled.
455
00:21:07,059 --> 00:21:09,135
I'm usually telling her
how wrong she is about shit.
456
00:21:09,228 --> 00:21:11,267
How long have you guys been together?
457
00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:14,180
- Do you really care?
- You don't cheat on her?
458
00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:15,899
No. Am I supposed to?
459
00:21:16,985 --> 00:21:18,563
- None of my business.
- Well...
460
00:21:18,654 --> 00:21:20,362
Guess I just misjudged you.
461
00:21:22,074 --> 00:21:23,568
- What does that mean?
- Nothing.
462
00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:27,120
First draft, 12 weeks. Is that doable?
463
00:21:27,204 --> 00:21:30,158
- I don't see why not.
- Great. Good luck with the writing.
464
00:21:30,249 --> 00:21:31,957
Get me Todd Carr!
465
00:21:51,854 --> 00:21:52,885
How was your meeting?
466
00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:54,972
Kind of a nightmare, actually.
467
00:21:56,149 --> 00:21:59,150
- Did she try to fuck you?
- Of course.
468
00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:01,069
I'm just that irresistible.
469
00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:03,776
I'm like Spanish fly
to these Hollywood types.
470
00:22:06,535 --> 00:22:07,863
But it did get me thinkin'.
471
00:22:08,412 --> 00:22:09,787
About...
472
00:22:12,416 --> 00:22:13,827
Let's not and say we did.
473
00:22:14,084 --> 00:22:15,792
What do you mean?
474
00:22:15,878 --> 00:22:18,119
Fuck it. Fuck this place.
475
00:22:18,964 --> 00:22:20,624
Why mess with a good thing?
476
00:22:20,716 --> 00:22:22,922
You know, leave well enough alone,
and other clich๏ฟฝs.
477
00:22:23,010 --> 00:22:24,634
Let's stay in New York.
478
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,629
Charlie'll understand.
479
00:22:26,763 --> 00:22:29,634
And if he doesn't,
fuck him and his bald head.
480
00:22:30,976 --> 00:22:33,134
- We do have a great life.
- We do.
481
00:22:33,228 --> 00:22:35,898
- We're so lucky.
- Totally.
482
00:22:35,981 --> 00:22:37,523
Which is exactly why we should do it.
483
00:22:37,608 --> 00:22:38,687
Yeah.
484
00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:40,941
- What?
- Mmm-hmm.
485
00:22:44,740 --> 00:22:46,779
You're in a really
exciting place right now.
486
00:22:46,867 --> 00:22:49,868
I mean, most people don't even
get to where you are.
487
00:22:51,246 --> 00:22:54,164
It's like...
The American Dream or some shit.
488
00:22:54,249 --> 00:22:57,499
We should just ride the wave
and see where it takes us.
489
00:22:59,296 --> 00:23:00,375
- Are you sure?
- I mean...
490
00:23:00,464 --> 00:23:02,172
Yeah, because as long
as we're together,
491
00:23:02,257 --> 00:23:04,629
who gives a fuck where we live, right?
492
00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:08,717
So...
493
00:23:09,014 --> 00:23:10,473
There it is.
494
00:23:11,016 --> 00:23:12,973
We're movin' to L.A.
495
00:23:13,060 --> 00:23:15,348
Shit, fuck.
496
00:23:16,146 --> 00:23:18,768
Now that I've said it out loud,
I can't take it back.
497
00:23:21,568 --> 00:23:22,944
Mmm.
498
00:23:24,154 --> 00:23:26,111
You're pretty amazing, you know that?
499
00:23:26,198 --> 00:23:28,523
- No, I'm not.
- Yeah, you are.
500
00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:32,577
Pretty much the best baby mama
a guy could ever hope for.
501
00:23:32,663 --> 00:23:34,073
Really?
502
00:23:34,164 --> 00:23:35,445
And don't forget it.
503
00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:37,989
Never.
504
00:23:38,836 --> 00:23:39,998
Ever.
505
00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:48,553
Moody, buddy.
506
00:23:48,637 --> 00:23:51,210
Yo, come on.
Get in on some of this shit.
507
00:23:51,306 --> 00:23:52,966
There you go, buddy.
508
00:23:53,058 --> 00:23:55,216
- I take it you likey?
- It's beautiful, man.
509
00:23:55,310 --> 00:23:56,935
It's the missing piece of the puzzle.
510
00:23:57,020 --> 00:23:59,060
This album had a lot of colour on it.
511
00:23:59,147 --> 00:24:01,685
But what y'all did,
that's the home run, man.
512
00:24:02,234 --> 00:24:03,942
You both outdid yourselves.
513
00:24:04,027 --> 00:24:05,438
Glad to be of service.
514
00:24:14,913 --> 00:24:16,289
Hell, you two fucked?
515
00:24:18,834 --> 00:24:21,289
Come on, does it seem like
we had time to do that?
516
00:24:21,378 --> 00:24:23,086
We've been writing the frickin' song.
517
00:24:26,175 --> 00:24:27,882
I'm fuckin' trippin'.
518
00:24:28,635 --> 00:24:29,667
- Hey, y'all.
- Yeah?
519
00:24:29,761 --> 00:24:31,386
- Play that shit.
- All right.
520
00:24:34,183 --> 00:24:35,297
Grab some tissue, Moody.
521
00:24:35,392 --> 00:24:36,970
It's just gonna
break your fuckin' heart.
522
00:24:38,562 --> 00:24:40,436
Turn the shit up, motherfucker.
523
00:24:44,693 --> 00:24:45,808
Yeah.
524
00:24:53,952 --> 00:24:55,696
She promised you stars
525
00:24:55,787 --> 00:24:59,916
Like you read on her pages
526
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,918
All of the tinsel
527
00:25:03,003 --> 00:25:05,874
And the company of strangers
528
00:25:06,632 --> 00:25:09,301
The fear that you came with
529
00:25:09,384 --> 00:25:13,334
You thought you'd escaped it
530
00:25:13,430 --> 00:25:16,099
But even while breaking
531
00:25:16,183 --> 00:25:19,718
You could still be persuaded
532
00:25:21,104 --> 00:25:23,263
Looking out
533
00:25:24,525 --> 00:25:26,897
Across the lights
534
00:25:27,444 --> 00:25:30,979
Until the morning
535
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:34,611
Oh, but didn't
536
00:25:34,701 --> 00:25:40,325
they shine
537
00:25:41,542 --> 00:25:45,835
Like the night sky
538
00:25:47,381 --> 00:25:54,048
And didn't they shine
539
00:25:55,138 --> 00:25:59,006
Like the hazy daybreak
540
00:25:59,101 --> 00:26:03,264
Like champagne and heartbreak
541
00:26:10,571 --> 00:26:15,149
Oh, but didn't they shine
542
00:26:15,242 --> 00:26:18,860
Oh, didn't they shine
543
00:26:18,954 --> 00:26:23,117
Like the night sky
544
00:26:25,085 --> 00:26:26,413
Didn't they shine
545
00:26:27,921 --> 00:26:30,591
Oh, didn't they shine
546
00:26:35,762 --> 00:26:37,636
Hey. Can I come in?
547
00:26:37,723 --> 00:26:39,965
Sure. Everything all right?
Is it Becca?
548
00:26:40,058 --> 00:26:42,976
No, no, no. She's good.
She's fine, actually.
549
00:26:45,314 --> 00:26:46,476
What's up?
550
00:26:47,566 --> 00:26:49,393
It's Richard. He's, um...
551
00:26:52,196 --> 00:26:54,272
He, you know, he won't stop drinking.
552
00:26:54,364 --> 00:26:57,780
It's... I don't think he can, so...
553
00:26:57,868 --> 00:27:00,074
And I just...
554
00:27:02,789 --> 00:27:04,414
I don't think I can do it.
555
00:27:04,499 --> 00:27:06,159
I don't think I can, um...
556
00:27:06,251 --> 00:27:08,244
I don't think I can live like this.
557
00:27:08,337 --> 00:27:10,045
I'm sure. I'm sure he's gonna be...
558
00:27:10,130 --> 00:27:11,922
I'm sure he'll get it under control.
559
00:27:12,007 --> 00:27:14,878
Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Maybe he will.
560
00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:18,377
I just don't know
if I can wait, you know?
561
00:27:23,602 --> 00:27:25,061
And the truth is that...
562
00:27:28,315 --> 00:27:31,186
I think I made
a terrible mistake, you know?41016
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