Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:05,701
And so I thought I'd give
2
00:00:05,744 --> 00:00:08,051
investigative journalism
a whirl.
3
00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:10,662
Well, get a hot scoop,
follow some leads,
4
00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:12,360
write an expose.
5
00:00:12,403 --> 00:00:14,188
Do I... know you?
6
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:16,016
Hayley Smith.
Remember the name.
7
00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:17,408
I'm gonna be
a famous journalist,
8
00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:19,802
really blow the lid
off something.
9
00:00:19,845 --> 00:00:21,673
Not sure what yet.
10
00:00:21,717 --> 00:00:23,216
[chuckling] But, hey,
that's what the class is for,
11
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:24,285
nahwhatimeanbrah?
12
00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:25,460
Ow.
13
00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,462
Stomp the presses.
14
00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:31,944
Cool butt.
Congratulations.
15
00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:41,389
Journalism. Is. Dead.
16
00:00:41,432 --> 00:00:43,434
This class is mainly gonna focus
17
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:46,220
on picking out
the best GIFs for listicles.
18
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,265
That's what journalism is now.
19
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:52,400
[gasps]
Oh, no!
20
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:55,055
[patriotic music plays]
21
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:57,883
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
22
00:00:57,927 --> 00:01:01,670
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
23
00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:05,021
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
24
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:08,851
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
25
00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:14,335
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
26
00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:16,424
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
27
00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:17,599
Aah!
28
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:22,517
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
29
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,607
♪
30
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:28,088
Mmm!
Oh, my God, Franny.
31
00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:30,351
Are you kidding me
with this watermelon?
32
00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:32,657
Does anyone love watermelon
more than us?
33
00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:35,617
Is this the best day
of our whole lives?
34
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,662
[sighs]
35
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:44,147
- Mmm.
- You gonna say something or...?
36
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,235
[mouth full] Watermelon?
37
00:01:45,279 --> 00:01:47,368
I'm too depressed.
38
00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:50,893
Okay. Mmm.
39
00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:54,026
It's just that, I was really
excited about journalism.
40
00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:56,594
But my professor said
journalism's dead.
41
00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:57,987
W-What do you think?
42
00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,468
Should I continue
or just give up?
43
00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:01,532
[normal voice]
You could continue,
44
00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:02,731
you could give up...
45
00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:04,515
Right.
T-That's what I'm asking.
46
00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:05,951
I mean, should I look
for a story?
47
00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:07,692
Or should I drop the class?
48
00:02:07,736 --> 00:02:10,782
Any way you want it,
that's the way you need it.
49
00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:12,349
Any way you want it.
50
00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:13,916
You're not saying anything.
51
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,874
I-I want your advice.
52
00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:18,181
Hello?
53
00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:20,705
Beans?
In a salad?
54
00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:22,185
Okay...
55
00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:24,144
Are you pretending
to be on the phone?
56
00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,409
Cool.
57
00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:30,193
Well, I'm gonna go get high
in my room
58
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,456
at 2:00 p.m.
on a Wednesday.
59
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,371
Do you have any thoughts
on that?
60
00:02:34,415 --> 00:02:38,158
Wednesday... it's not spelled
how it sounds.
61
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,203
Ugh!
62
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,944
Mmm.
63
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:45,208
- The [bleep] was that?
- My parenting style, baby!
64
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:48,603
You know my philosophy...
"Benevolent Neglect."
65
00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:50,344
I don't know.
66
00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:52,955
As a mother, you can't
be there all the time.
67
00:02:52,998 --> 00:02:55,740
Eventually, you're going to
let her down.
68
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,960
So how do you prepare her
for that?
69
00:02:58,003 --> 00:03:01,006
By letting her down early
and often.
70
00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:03,226
So, you're saying you're not
gonna be there for her.
71
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:07,012
Yes.
And that's for her, ya dig?
72
00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:08,710
Ow!
I dig, I dig!
73
00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:12,017
What's Mrs S's problem?
74
00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:13,845
My babe is lost.
75
00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:16,108
- Just give
my babe some guidance. - [bong bubbling]
76
00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:18,110
Maybe I'm not lost.
77
00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:21,070
And maybe my professor is wrong.
78
00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:25,030
And maybe I already know
everything about journalism.
79
00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:28,077
Been saying that about you
for years.
80
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,513
I'm just gonna look for a story.
81
00:03:31,385 --> 00:03:33,300
That last hit was a mistake.
82
00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:34,866
I can see that now.
83
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,259
I'm too high.
84
00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:38,566
[chuckling]
Me too, babe!
85
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:45,312
HAYLEY: Maybe my story's
about clouds.
86
00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:49,098
Like, how...
where are they sometimes?
87
00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:50,926
Is this something?
88
00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:53,668
I have a worm in my mouth.
89
00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:57,759
"Something to do
with clouds."
90
00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:03,286
Something to do with bubbles?
91
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:05,984
We should've brought a car.
92
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,073
Stomp the presses.
93
00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,921
- Butts.
- ♪ Cool, baby, know what I'm sayin'? ♪
94
00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:12,208
♪ Left cheek, right cheek,
left cheek, right cheek ♪
95
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,254
♪ Show off, show off, show off ♪
96
00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:15,298
♪ Show off, boom ♪
97
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,518
Jeff, I have been noticing
98
00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:20,390
a lot of cool butts
in town recently.
99
00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:21,834
My reporter's instinct
is telling me
100
00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:24,046
to follow 'em,
find their source.
101
00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:26,614
I'm gonna follow
a different lead.
102
00:04:30,618 --> 00:04:35,057
Eat me, red spaghetti!
103
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,668
♪ Now let me see that
booty work, booty work ♪
104
00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,496
♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪
105
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,977
♪ Left cheek, right cheek,
left cheek, right cheek ♪
106
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,848
♪ Show off, show off, show off ♪
107
00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:45,589
♪ Show off, boom ♪
108
00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:47,809
♪ Boo-boo-booty work ♪
109
00:04:47,852 --> 00:04:49,593
HG.
110
00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,291
Huh.
But what does it stand for?
111
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:52,814
Holy grail!
112
00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:56,252
Stomp the premsses!
I got a hot scoomp!
113
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,080
But I'll have to go undercover.
114
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:03,651
[doors whirring]
115
00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,740
I'm just a regular Hayley.
116
00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,176
My hat's in the Dumpster.
117
00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:09,091
Okay...
118
00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:10,919
Did you need to sign up
for a class?
119
00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:13,008
'Cause she's about to start.
120
00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:14,705
- Who she?
- Holly?
121
00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:17,926
HG?
The Queen of Dance Cardio?
122
00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:20,102
- Hello?
- Hello.
123
00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:21,625
We specialize
in The Holly Method,
124
00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,671
the only technique proven
to make you a new you.
125
00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:25,412
The first class is free.
126
00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:27,762
We will need a credit card,
though.
127
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:29,764
The class itself is free.
128
00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:32,375
What you get from the class
costs $500.
129
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:34,116
That's too high of a money!
130
00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:38,338
This is an expensive gym
where people have good butts.
131
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:39,817
I don't think that's a story.
Damn.
132
00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:41,210
WOMAN: You look lost.
133
00:05:41,253 --> 00:05:42,733
Well, you look...
134
00:05:42,777 --> 00:05:46,607
♪
135
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:49,131
...a-ma-ma-ma-mazing.
136
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:51,002
You reek of weed.
137
00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:52,787
It's the middle of the day.
138
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,484
It's Wednesday.
139
00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:56,356
Do you have any thoughts
on that?
140
00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,140
It's not spelled how it sounds?
141
00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,838
You're lost.
I just said so myself.
142
00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:02,405
But I can help.
143
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:05,016
You need someone to tell you
what to do.
144
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:06,191
You need me.
145
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:08,324
Yes.
146
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,934
- Yes, what?
- Yes, Mommy.
147
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,283
You did it.
148
00:06:11,327 --> 00:06:13,460
You said the right answer.
149
00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:14,915
- ♪ Booty work, booty work ♪
- [women cheering]
150
00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,637
♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪
151
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,378
♪ Left cheek, right cheek ♪
152
00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:21,555
[up-tempo music playing]
153
00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:24,296
We gotta confuse the muscles
to get results.
154
00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:25,646
When I say leg, I mean bicep.
155
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:26,777
Just follow me.
156
00:06:26,821 --> 00:06:28,562
I am in charge of your body now.
157
00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:29,867
Gimme an amen.
158
00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:31,565
ALL: Amen!
159
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:34,002
Good.
160
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,439
Sip some agua,
grab some protein,
161
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,572
get those bank routing numbers
to Lindsay,
162
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:40,095
and let's get back out there.
163
00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:42,619
[cheering and squealing]
164
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:44,882
Oh, hey, Hayley.
165
00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:46,710
How's journalism class going?
166
00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,843
Mom, I dropped that class
months ago.
167
00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:51,236
I am a one-class-at-a-time
kind of person.
168
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,195
And right now, it's five
workout classes a day,
169
00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:54,501
seven days a week.
170
00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:56,285
But only one class at a time.
171
00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:58,505
[chuckles] That's a physical
limitation I have.
172
00:06:58,548 --> 00:07:00,245
Can't be in two classes at once.
173
00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:02,465
And I would if I could,
and HG knows that.
174
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,249
She gets that I'm dedicated.
175
00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:06,513
She hasn't said it,
but sometimes I can feel
176
00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:08,123
her eyes graze over me,
177
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,517
and I feel oceans
of approval and love.
178
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,606
One day, I am gonna get a DMT.
179
00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,651
That stands for
Distressed Muscle Tank.
180
00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:17,132
The DMTs get to work out
next to HG.
181
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:19,743
I just gotta put in the time,
keep getting better.
182
00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:22,307
I'm gonna go fill up my mattress
with ice and rest up for later.
183
00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:25,880
So, Hayley's in a cult.
184
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,708
Yeah, an exercise cult.
185
00:07:27,751 --> 00:07:30,145
No.
It's a real cult, Roger.
186
00:07:30,188 --> 00:07:32,277
Like Jonestown
with ankle weights.
187
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:33,670
And I should know.
188
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,498
I've been in more cults
than anyone.
189
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:37,021
Remind me?
190
00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:40,982
- [doorbell rings]
- STAN: Francine!
191
00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:42,723
Is that The Scrapbook I hear?
192
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,333
I don't have my keys!
193
00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:46,216
I left them in the car
when I rolled out of it!
194
00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:49,860
- Scrapbook!
- Scrapbook?
195
00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:50,644
- [siren wailing]
- Oh, shit!
196
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:53,342
Scrapbook! Yay!
197
00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:55,649
Oh, wow.
Remember this?
198
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:58,565
I liked wearing all
the red and orange clothes.
199
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:00,523
Oh, this was this vegan one.
200
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,394
We ate so much spelt.
201
00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:04,962
Some people had a lot of sex
with the guy.
202
00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:07,617
Those cupcakes ended up
being poisoned.
203
00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:10,228
Still have those Nikes
somewhere.
204
00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:13,275
Honey, you might fall for
cults, but let's be real...
205
00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:15,582
cults also fall for you.
206
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,409
Frann-ay!
[chuckles]
207
00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:20,500
Always skyrocketing right
into the inner circle.
208
00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:21,849
True.
209
00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:24,242
I'm either a right-hand man
or a high-up wife.
210
00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:26,462
Oh, God, and there's me
on the altar.
211
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,203
You were gonna sacrifice me.
212
00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:30,031
But then the knife broke!
213
00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:34,470
[laughter]
214
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,820
Ah! That was fun.
I needed that.
215
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,996
- But I gotta get back to it.
- Same.
216
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,130
Yeah, it's a big time
of year for me.
217
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:44,175
You've been in a lot of cults.
I remember now.
218
00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:46,830
Yeah, cults are really fun,
219
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:50,442
but I have a sixth sense about
when the fun is over.
220
00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:53,097
You know, when there's
gonna be a FBI raid
221
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:56,318
or mass soo-ey,
or blend up beavers
222
00:08:56,361 --> 00:08:58,494
and put it in
the town's water supply.
223
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,800
Cool.
224
00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:01,976
How and why did we get
into this convo again?
225
00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:03,673
- Hayley is in a cult.
- Riiight.
226
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:06,328
- You gonna help her get out?
- I'm not helping her.
227
00:09:06,371 --> 00:09:08,156
She's gotta get out by herself
because...
228
00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:09,723
Benevolent Neglect!
229
00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:12,290
Speaking of which, you know
what I neglect sometimes?
230
00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:13,814
My own needs.
231
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:16,468
That's not a joke.
It's something sad.
232
00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:21,778
Whooooo!
Let's do this!
233
00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,432
[all whispering]
234
00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:27,436
What's going on?
235
00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:29,438
HG: Everyone huddle up
for a second.
236
00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:31,571
We're having a bit of a problem.
237
00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:34,095
The fire marshall's
been sniffing around.
238
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:36,924
He wants to do an "inspection,"
239
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:38,578
and we all know what that means.
240
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,164
He's gonna come in here
and try to shut us down.
241
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:45,149
♪
242
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:46,586
Guns?
243
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:49,371
They have to be worth $600 each!
244
00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:50,764
And you're just
giving them to us?
245
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,200
Is this real?
246
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:55,986
♪
247
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,466
Hey, girl, what that?
248
00:09:57,509 --> 00:09:58,859
It's my gym gun.
249
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,401
Anyway, I'm just here to grab
some extra clothes
250
00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:02,384
and all of
my important documents.
251
00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:03,840
I'm gonna be living at the gym
from now on,
252
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:05,605
for maximum readiness.
253
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:08,782
Honey, what if, just like,
as a readiness exercise,
254
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:11,262
I said, don't go live
at the gym?
255
00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:13,743
I'd call you a CV and tell you
to suck my butt.
256
00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:15,658
And a CV is...?
257
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:17,007
A Commitment Vampire.
258
00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:18,008
It's the worst thing you can be.
259
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:20,271
Cool.
Perfect answer.
260
00:10:22,534 --> 00:10:25,494
Looks like the fun is over
at HG Studio.
261
00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:27,757
Unfortunately, Hayley doesn't
seem to have
262
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,759
my sense of cult timing.
263
00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:31,239
I'm gonna have to
help get her out.
264
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:32,849
What happened
to Benevolent Neglect?
265
00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:34,851
Too late for Benevolent Neglect!
266
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,244
We've got a new plan.
267
00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:38,681
It's called...
268
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:40,640
Francine's Plan.
269
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,864
Keep the car running.
I'll be right out.
270
00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:49,039
Vroom vroom.
271
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:51,607
[dance music playing]
272
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:55,698
♪
273
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:57,178
Mom?!
274
00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:58,701
Did I inspire you?
275
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,355
Yeah.
276
00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:03,358
Let me just say,
you have amazing taste.
277
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,969
I wish the first cult
I ever joined was this nice.
278
00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:08,145
- Not a cult.
- It's a great space.
279
00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:10,800
I'm seeing
a super-charismatic leader.
280
00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:13,585
The inner circle
has sick-ass tanks.
281
00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:14,717
DMTs.
282
00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:17,502
- Primo cult, for sure.
- Damn right.
283
00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:19,679
But shit is about to go down.
284
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,811
We have to get you out of here
right now.
285
00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:23,378
Okay, suck my butt.
286
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:25,380
Since when do you have
advice for me?
287
00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:29,384
We will deprogram you later,
but for now, just listen.
288
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:31,821
The schematics show
a window in the bathroom.
289
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,562
We're gonna slip out.
290
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:36,173
Roger is waiting outside
with the car running.
291
00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:37,455
There was a funny smell
in the car,
292
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:39,176
and I couldn't get
the windows down.
293
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,656
Had to use that hammer
to get out.
294
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,789
The little hammer for
if you drive into a river?
295
00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:45,052
Anyway, have you seen HG?
296
00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:46,618
I'm all in, Franny.
297
00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:47,750
All. In.
298
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,621
Roger gets it!
299
00:11:49,665 --> 00:11:51,580
And you're a CV.
300
00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,800
And I have to report
any CV behavior.
301
00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:54,975
- HG!
- HG!
302
00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:56,585
HG, I love you!
303
00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:58,152
Do you see me, HG?
304
00:11:58,195 --> 00:12:01,111
First day, HG!
Very impressive, yes?
305
00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:04,724
Hi, ladies!
Fire marshall here.
306
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:06,290
[music stops]
307
00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:08,075
I'm just gonna take
a quick looky-loo,
308
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:09,598
and I will be out of your hair.
309
00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:14,777
Fire marshall?
310
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:17,562
Fire Marshall Bill!
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.
311
00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:20,000
Remember that?
Oh, my God, so funny.
312
00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:25,745
I'm honored you all have taken
such an interest in my work!
313
00:12:27,529 --> 00:12:30,532
Hmm.
All the windows are sealed shut.
314
00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:33,056
That's gonna be a no-go.
315
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,450
No one's getting out of there
in a hurry.
316
00:12:37,147 --> 00:12:40,237
[laughs]
I'm not lovin' that.
317
00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:41,238
[squeak]
318
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:43,980
Whoa.
Loose floorboard?
319
00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:45,547
[voice breaking]
When I was a kid,
320
00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:47,897
my grandma tripped
on a loose floorboard
321
00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:49,377
and fell on her butt.
322
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:51,596
It was so embarrassing!
323
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,381
I'm gonna have to close
this place down.
324
00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:54,904
- ROGER: Just leave!
- [gun cocks]
325
00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:56,993
No one shuts us down
over a loose floorboard!
326
00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,255
- [gunshot]
- Aah!
327
00:12:58,299 --> 00:12:59,822
Ah!
My tiny gun went off!
328
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:03,608
Y-You shot me in the tummy!
329
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:05,045
- [gasps]
- Oh, my God!
330
00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:06,089
WOMAN:
What do we do?
331
00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:09,223
Everything is okay.
332
00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:10,833
This needed to happen.
333
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,356
It was necessary.
334
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,271
It had to happen, HG.
335
00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:15,838
Here's the good news...
336
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:18,449
this brought us to Phase Two.
337
00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:20,408
Just a little sooner
than planned.
338
00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:22,279
Yeah, Phase Two, HG.
339
00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:24,151
This new woman...
what's your name?
340
00:13:24,194 --> 00:13:25,717
- HG?
- No.
341
00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:26,893
Then Britney M.
342
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,155
Welcome to the inner circle.
343
00:13:28,198 --> 00:13:30,287
Two tosses for Britney M.
344
00:13:32,637 --> 00:13:34,726
[women cheering]
345
00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:36,032
Yay!
346
00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:37,860
In 20 minutes, we're gonna
load up the buses,
347
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,862
head to the airfield,
and take off
348
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:43,344
for our remote studio location
in the jungles of the Congo.
349
00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:45,433
Everyone have your passports?
350
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:47,000
Just kidding.
We have your passports.
351
00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:48,479
[ding!]
352
00:13:49,654 --> 00:13:50,873
- Ugh!
- Don't worry.
353
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,744
We have your passports.
354
00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:54,355
I'm part of the "we."
355
00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:59,186
You saw what I saw.
356
00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:00,491
There's still time.
357
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,580
We can't leave the country
with these people.
358
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:04,321
You're right.
That was crazy.
359
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:06,367
I wanna go home.
360
00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:09,370
Just follow me behind the bus,
and then start running.
361
00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:14,505
♪
362
00:14:14,549 --> 00:14:15,855
Good work, Francine.
363
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,597
What are you doing?!
364
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,948
Betraying you,
getting a cool tank top.
365
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:24,167
It looks great on you, Francine.
366
00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:26,996
You've got the good shoulders
for it.
367
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,084
So do I, though.
368
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:31,174
[up-tempo music playing]
369
00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:34,351
And up and back and kick,
370
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:37,441
front, table top, extend.
371
00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:40,836
I mean, I love HG,
but what you did was savage.
372
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,491
Sold out your own kid for a DMT.
373
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:45,710
My voice is the only voice
I should hear.
374
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,277
Sorry, HG.
375
00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:49,497
[quietly] I mean, I get it.
I shot a guy.
376
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,716
But I'm like you...
I don't even feel bad about it.
377
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,849
Shhhh!
Britney M.
378
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,546
[normal voice]
Almost done, HG.
379
00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:58,201
And she's fine.
She's in Non-Prison Confinement.
380
00:14:58,245 --> 00:15:01,074
I don't wanna go to non-prison,
but Hayley's probably okay.
381
00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:03,337
- Oh, God.
- Ooof. I know.
382
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:05,382
- It's really hot in here, right?
- HG: Shhhh!
383
00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:08,081
And then, I put a little bit
of mint, banana, a green apple.
384
00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:09,343
Sometimes.
385
00:15:09,386 --> 00:15:11,084
It's packed with,
like, everything...
386
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:13,129
flax, chia, fish oil,
CBD oil, coconut oil,
387
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,958
olive oil, Pennzoil...
it's very oily.
388
00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:17,786
Don't spill it,
because you'll be cleaning
389
00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:19,788
for the rest of the morning.
390
00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,853
But you'll have crazy energy
if you get any in your mouth.
391
00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:23,270
How long do
I have to be in here?
392
00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:25,185
Until you're ready
to dance again.
393
00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,143
You mean I can just
go back to class?
394
00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:28,275
Sure.
395
00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:29,972
But if you are gonna make
the smoothie,
396
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:32,714
do not smoke for
up to 36 hours after.
397
00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:34,324
You will explode.
398
00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:39,764
♪
399
00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:42,115
Hayley, I'm so sorry.
400
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:44,421
I never should have betrayed you
for this tank top,
401
00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:45,945
even though I look amazing.
402
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:47,990
We gotta get out of here,
for real.
403
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,297
I shouldn't trust you.
404
00:15:50,340 --> 00:15:53,256
Okay, meet me tonight.
I know a way.
405
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:56,607
Also, I figured out which one
of the girls has the bad B.O.
406
00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:57,652
It's me.
407
00:15:58,653 --> 00:16:00,742
Just a little further.
408
00:16:00,785 --> 00:16:02,526
Ah, here it is!
409
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:04,746
You see, HG?
I told you!
410
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:06,269
She's the real CV!
411
00:16:06,313 --> 00:16:07,444
Hayley!
412
00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:10,882
Oh, what, Mom?
413
00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:12,536
I wanna be in the inner circle.
414
00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:14,451
I feel really left out!
415
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,062
I'll take my DMT now, thank you.
416
00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:17,759
You better watch your back!
417
00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:19,717
That DMT is mine.
418
00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:22,851
No, that DMT is mine, actually.
419
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:24,331
You two are a lot of trouble,
420
00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:26,333
and I don't have time for this.
421
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:28,770
You're both going to non-prison.
422
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:29,858
- What?!
- What?!
423
00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:33,035
Ooooh!
You made Mommy maaaaad.
424
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:35,037
Shh!
You talk too much.
425
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,474
[gasps]
A criticism!
426
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:39,563
[gasps]
A flying caterpillar!
427
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:41,522
What is wrong with us?
428
00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:42,871
It's not us.
429
00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:45,134
It's the cult.
We're brainwashed.
430
00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:48,050
Yeah, but we're the ones
who decided to join a cult.
431
00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:49,356
That's true.
432
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:51,575
Why do I keep joining cults?
433
00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:53,099
What is that about?
434
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:56,406
Maybe it has something to do
with my mom.
435
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:59,366
She was always telling me
what to do, what to think.
436
00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:00,845
I hated it!
437
00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:03,326
But maybe on some level,
438
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,981
I keep looking to re-create it?
439
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,765
I think it's the opposite
for me.
440
00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:10,768
I was dying for someone
to tell me what to do,
441
00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:13,206
or at least
just give me some advice.
442
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:15,382
I'd like you to be that person.
443
00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,036
I'm sorry.
444
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,386
I just didn't want to be
like my mom.
445
00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:21,388
You're not your mom.
446
00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:24,434
But I do need you to be my mom.
447
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:25,827
I can do that.
448
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:28,221
Should we start a coup
against HG?
449
00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:31,267
Are you ready
for my motherly advice?
450
00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:33,139
Yes.
451
00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:35,010
Let's dance.
452
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,926
♪
453
00:17:37,969 --> 00:17:39,319
Listen up, ladies!
454
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,625
I've been in a lot of cults
in my life,
455
00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:43,366
and I know what's up.
456
00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:47,109
HG acts like a god,
but she's just a person.
457
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:49,851
A very hot, charismatic person
458
00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:51,896
with a great exercise regimen
459
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:54,203
that gives us confidence
460
00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:57,337
and the direction
that we need in our lives,
461
00:17:57,380 --> 00:18:01,254
and cool butts that look like
two stuck-together onions!
462
00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:03,821
ALL: Yay!
463
00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:05,388
No! No.
464
00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:08,565
She means, HG is a bad person.
465
00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:11,002
And we're all brainwashed!
466
00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:15,181
She's got us exercising
in a jungle for 10 hours a day!
467
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:18,009
Let's band together
and get out of here!
468
00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:19,881
And she keeps shushing me.
It's so rude.
469
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:22,231
[gunshot, zap]
470
00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:24,842
What's with all
the loose floorboards?
471
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:27,410
Okay, she's not even hurt.
What gives?
472
00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:29,151
The bullets went
right through her!
473
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:30,892
She is a god!
474
00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:33,547
♪
475
00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:35,331
Oh, shit, she is!
476
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:36,637
My bad, HG!
477
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,422
Kneel before me.
478
00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:41,337
And remember to activate
your core
479
00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:44,427
as you beg for my forgiveness.
480
00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:46,689
Huh?
481
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:51,347
Uh, eyes up.
482
00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:52,783
My butt is up here.
483
00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:55,699
♪
484
00:18:55,743 --> 00:18:57,484
[zap]
485
00:18:57,527 --> 00:18:59,050
She's not a god!
486
00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:00,878
She's not even a person!
487
00:19:00,922 --> 00:19:03,098
She's a hologram!
488
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:09,148
Uh... occupado?
489
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:10,627
It's a big, gross man!
490
00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:12,325
On a toilet.
491
00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:14,501
Eating oysters?
492
00:19:14,544 --> 00:19:16,459
Out of a garbage bag?
493
00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:19,767
Oh, look who it is...
Scoomby-Doo.
494
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:20,768
[slurps]
495
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:22,509
So, Holly was a hologram.
496
00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:24,293
HG equals Holly Graham.
497
00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:26,469
You figured it out.
498
00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:29,342
Come on, it's funny!
It's a joke.
499
00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:31,648
You guys should smile more,
by the way.
500
00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:33,084
[slurps]
501
00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:35,043
Yikes, dude.
What is your deal?
502
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:36,523
My deal?
503
00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:39,613
No one ever asked the
Wizard of Oz what his deal was.
504
00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:42,311
He could sit behind a curtain,
spying on Munkins,
505
00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:44,748
and I can't ogle women
through one-way glass?
506
00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:47,055
I've committed no crimes here.
507
00:19:47,098 --> 00:19:48,578
[slurps]
508
00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:51,233
Why do I discard the shells
into the same sack
509
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,322
I take the fresh ones out of?
510
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:56,543
Uh, I frustrate myself.
I should get two sacks.
511
00:19:56,586 --> 00:19:57,824
Sometimes you gotta swish around
512
00:19:57,848 --> 00:19:59,589
and look for the loosies
at the bottom.
513
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:02,331
Oooh! Jackpot!
514
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,768
Ugh!
Oh, that was a loogie.
515
00:20:04,812 --> 00:20:07,336
I should not be spitting
my loogies in there.
516
00:20:09,077 --> 00:20:11,732
See?!
You think I'm disgusting.
517
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:13,362
This is why I need to hide
behind the mirror
518
00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:15,214
in the first place!
519
00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,999
You never would have just
let me steal your money
520
00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:19,522
so I could watch you dance
all day
521
00:20:19,566 --> 00:20:21,307
while I sit on my little toilet,
522
00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:24,223
digging through my garbage bag
full of oysters.
523
00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:28,401
[slurps]
I had to be smart about it.
524
00:20:30,185 --> 00:20:32,796
I see. You're all on
your periods or whatever.
525
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,363
Ooh!
526
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:36,409
♪ Show off, show off, show off ♪
527
00:20:36,452 --> 00:20:38,193
♪ Boom, show off ♪
528
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,934
Ooh!
529
00:20:39,977 --> 00:20:42,806
♪ Go 'head ♪
530
00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:44,982
♪ Now let me see that
booty work, booty work ♪
531
00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:46,419
♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪
532
00:20:46,462 --> 00:20:48,551
I never should have made you
so strong!
533
00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:51,989
One last request...
put me back on the toilet.
534
00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:54,383
I wanna die with dignity!
535
00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:55,787
- Suck our butts!
- Suck our butts!
536
00:20:56,516 --> 00:20:58,039
Buh-bye! See you soon.
537
00:20:58,089 --> 00:21:02,639
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
37463
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof