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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 7 00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:35,909 Morning, Billy. 8 00:00:35,951 --> 00:00:37,370 Three bucks a shot. 9 00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:38,747 Steady just watch 10 00:00:38,787 --> 00:00:40,539 Hands up high as confetti gets dropped 11 00:00:40,581 --> 00:00:42,250 Go, go, can't be stopped 12 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:44,585 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 13 00:00:44,626 --> 00:00:45,754 Ready or not... 14 00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:48,673 I got Oxy, Vicodin, Percocet, 15 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,968 Xanax, Adderall, morphine, and Valium. 16 00:00:52,009 --> 00:00:55,055 Five bucks a pill, less if you buy in bulk. 17 00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:56,305 No, no, no, no. 18 00:00:56,346 --> 00:00:57,616 If I can't buy my girlfriend's mom drinks, 19 00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:58,891 what good am I? 20 00:00:58,932 --> 00:01:00,643 No damn good. 21 00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:01,602 What do you call that? 22 00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:03,396 Death. Bottoms up. 23 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:05,732 - Cheers. - Cheers. 24 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,067 Motherfucker. 25 00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:09,110 Ready or not 26 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:11,070 Here I come 27 00:01:11,111 --> 00:01:12,739 - Oh, shit. 28 00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:14,991 Hey. 29 00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,039 Aah! 30 00:01:26,335 --> 00:01:27,420 Gah! 31 00:01:28,796 --> 00:01:30,256 Should we try to stop them? 32 00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:31,483 Not until some clothes come off. 33 00:01:31,507 --> 00:01:32,801 Lenny, what the fuck, man? 34 00:01:32,841 --> 00:01:34,426 This isn't a litter box. 35 00:01:34,468 --> 00:01:35,653 Where did you dump the asbestos? 36 00:01:35,677 --> 00:01:36,929 You know what? You know what? 37 00:01:36,971 --> 00:01:38,282 Don't tell me. It's better that I don't know. 38 00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:39,866 How many mamas we know in the hood 39 00:01:39,890 --> 00:01:41,433 still feeding their babies titty milk? 40 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:44,020 Whoa, no IV drugs. Pump it pure. 41 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,354 Where's the keg? 42 00:01:45,395 --> 00:01:48,525 A little early to be drinking, isn't it? 43 00:01:50,734 --> 00:01:52,402 A tough night for the new liver. 44 00:01:52,444 --> 00:01:54,280 How much you give me... for this? 45 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,032 Take him back right now, man. 46 00:01:57,074 --> 00:01:59,244 We left Billy here last night? 47 00:01:59,284 --> 00:02:01,204 I'm sorry about that, buddy. 48 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,623 Oh, my God, he's dead. I touched a dead guy. 49 00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:10,129 All chanting in Russian 50 00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:16,510 Whoo-ee! 51 00:02:16,552 --> 00:02:18,221 Shift change. 52 00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,140 Russian hour is over. 53 00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:21,431 It's Kentucky time. 54 00:02:21,473 --> 00:02:23,476 Ladies and gentlemen, 55 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:26,479 announcing the latest addition to the Ball family, 56 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:27,896 Amy and Gemma! 57 00:02:27,938 --> 00:02:30,191 Oh, nice! 58 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,151 Why do you drink 59 00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,652 To get drunk! 60 00:02:33,694 --> 00:02:35,989 And why do you all smoke 61 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,365 To get high! 62 00:02:40,075 --> 00:02:42,412 Now everybody 63 00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:43,705 Have you heard 64 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:46,498 All right, place your bets. Thank you. 65 00:02:46,540 --> 00:02:47,792 Nine... 66 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,710 - Thirty, thirty-one... - Uh-oh. 67 00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:51,336 Thirty-two... 68 00:02:51,378 --> 00:02:53,715 Oh! 69 00:02:53,756 --> 00:02:55,592 Driving electronic music 70 00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:57,801 Do it! 71 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:00,823 You may kiss the bride. 72 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:01,972 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 73 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,143 Yeah! 74 00:03:16,236 --> 00:03:17,864 Do you wanna open a whorehouse? 75 00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:19,698 No, of course not. 76 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,283 Just a rub and tug. 77 00:03:21,325 --> 00:03:23,328 Just wanna know if you, uh... 78 00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:25,205 want a hand job. 79 00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:28,457 Hey, hand me my phone, would you? 80 00:03:28,498 --> 00:03:31,419 Might wanna toss that minnow back into the lake, Lorenzo. 81 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:34,254 Holy shit, look at the hog on Stan. 82 00:03:34,296 --> 00:03:35,715 I've heard rumors about that thing. 83 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,234 What's he doing with the belt around his neck 84 00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:38,383 while he's taking a piss? 85 00:03:38,425 --> 00:03:39,593 He was jacking off, Kev. 86 00:03:39,635 --> 00:03:41,235 And strangling himself at the same time. 87 00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:42,472 Why? 88 00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:43,472 'Cause it feels good. 89 00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:46,475 Upbeat music 90 00:03:59,071 --> 00:04:01,741 - Oh - 91 00:04:01,782 --> 00:04:04,244 You said we were all doing the full Monty. 92 00:04:08,121 --> 00:04:09,373 Out. 93 00:04:17,047 --> 00:04:19,342 City of Chicago says 94 00:04:19,383 --> 00:04:21,510 all bars are closed until further notice. 95 00:04:21,551 --> 00:04:22,738 Go, go, go! 96 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:23,864 Hide in the back. This is what we practiced. 97 00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,931 We are absolutely complying 98 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,225 with the mayor's very smart decision 99 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,936 to close all bars and taverns. 100 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:35,441 - What the fuck, Kev? - Oh, my... come on. 101 00:04:35,482 --> 00:04:37,652 Hail, 'rona survivors! What? 102 00:04:37,693 --> 00:04:38,695 Where is everyone? 103 00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:43,782 Rock music 104 00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:46,869 It's our parent-teacher call, Kev. 105 00:04:46,910 --> 00:04:49,162 Okay, be right there. 106 00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,873 Okay, girls. Breakfast of champions. 107 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,544 Have a good day at school. 108 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:56,128 - Kev! - Coming. 109 00:04:57,755 --> 00:04:59,924 Hi, Mrs. Cardenas. How's it going? 110 00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:02,260 Good morning, Kev. I was just telling Veronica... 111 00:05:02,301 --> 00:05:03,845 Amy is smart and Gemma's a dumbass. 112 00:05:03,885 --> 00:05:05,138 - What? - I didn't say it 113 00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:08,140 exactly like that, but... yes. 114 00:05:08,181 --> 00:05:10,310 Gemma's been falling behind in her schoolwork. 115 00:05:10,350 --> 00:05:12,477 There's schoolwork in kindergarten? 116 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,732 Gemma's been logging off the Zoom call 117 00:05:16,773 --> 00:05:18,234 right after I take attendance. 118 00:05:18,275 --> 00:05:19,318 That's genius. 119 00:05:19,359 --> 00:05:21,070 - Kev. - That's wrong. 120 00:05:21,111 --> 00:05:23,071 Wrong, wrong, wrong. 121 00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:24,866 Is she watching a YouTube video? 122 00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:26,034 Looks that way from here. 123 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,451 Children this age, most parents 124 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,162 stay on the Zoom call with their kids. 125 00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:30,455 The whole time? 126 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,164 That's, like, six hours of our day. 127 00:05:32,205 --> 00:05:34,792 If you want Gemma to keep up with the other children, 128 00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:37,587 I suggest you participate in her education. 129 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:40,898 What work could they possibly have? 130 00:05:40,922 --> 00:05:42,008 It's kindergarten. 131 00:05:42,049 --> 00:05:43,885 - This is all my fault. - What is? 132 00:05:43,926 --> 00:05:46,262 Why Gemma's dumb. 133 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:48,032 It's my eggs. I wasn't supposed to have kids 134 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:50,015 in the first place. 135 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,224 Soft music 136 00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:52,727 I think we should have our own kid. 137 00:05:52,768 --> 00:05:53,936 Could we start right now? 138 00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,815 Veronica... 139 00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,775 I got 20 minutes left on my break. 140 00:05:59,816 --> 00:06:01,068 That should give us enough time 141 00:06:01,109 --> 00:06:03,195 to go three times, easy. 142 00:06:03,236 --> 00:06:04,321 Just... hey. 143 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,989 It's okay. I'll do all the work. 144 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,450 - Maybe later. - Oh, come on. 145 00:06:07,491 --> 00:06:08,760 The best part about making a baby 146 00:06:08,784 --> 00:06:11,203 is you get to have sex while we're doing it. 147 00:06:11,244 --> 00:06:14,039 I need to know the truth. Can I have a damn baby or not? 148 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:17,794 You have a 99.999 chance of not getting pregnant. 149 00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:22,047 Jazzy music 150 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,092 So I'll just be carrying it, 151 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:25,973 and you two take it from me when it comes out? 152 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:27,387 - Yes, Mom. - 'Cause Lord knows 153 00:06:27,427 --> 00:06:29,679 I am too old to be raising an infant. 154 00:06:31,890 --> 00:06:32,933 Not much in there. 155 00:06:32,974 --> 00:06:34,434 We could've used an eyedropper. 156 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:35,811 Jeez, Kevin. 157 00:06:35,852 --> 00:06:38,688 Rock music 158 00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:39,857 Bottoms up. 159 00:06:46,196 --> 00:06:47,948 Are you out of your fucking mind? 160 00:06:47,989 --> 00:06:49,575 Kev is just gonna lie down with you 161 00:06:49,616 --> 00:06:51,076 for procreation, not sex. 162 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,244 What is the difference? 163 00:06:52,285 --> 00:06:53,955 It's clinical, so no one enjoys it. 164 00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,582 Millions of sperm died in that turkey baster. 165 00:06:56,623 --> 00:06:58,792 Uh-uh, no. Honey, this is an express bus 166 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,294 to The Maury Povich Show. 167 00:07:00,335 --> 00:07:02,587 What kind of hard liquor you got, and how much? 168 00:07:02,629 --> 00:07:03,732 Okay, let's get this going. 169 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:07,051 Knock it off, Mama. 170 00:07:07,092 --> 00:07:08,361 Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 171 00:07:08,385 --> 00:07:10,179 W-what's with the KKK costume? 172 00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:11,638 I saw them use something like this 173 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:12,765 at that super-Jewy wedding 174 00:07:12,806 --> 00:07:13,933 I went to last year. 175 00:07:13,974 --> 00:07:15,475 It keeps the skin from touching, 176 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:16,977 acts as a barrier. 177 00:07:17,018 --> 00:07:19,479 I feel like a ghost prostitute. 178 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,816 ...why she didn't cut me a mouth hole. 179 00:07:21,857 --> 00:07:25,277 How am I supposed to... whoa! Hello. 180 00:07:25,318 --> 00:07:28,030 Looks like I got a visitor down there. 181 00:07:28,071 --> 00:07:29,174 Can I take this off my face? 182 00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:30,991 No! No! 183 00:07:31,032 --> 00:07:32,885 How many more times are we gonna have to do this? 184 00:07:32,909 --> 00:07:34,369 Until we complete the mission. 185 00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:36,998 You're Luke Skywalker, and it's up to you 186 00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:39,958 to shoot one in and destroy the Death Star. 187 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:42,169 Rock music 188 00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:44,296 N-n-no, not there. No. 189 00:07:44,337 --> 00:07:45,465 Sorry, sorry, sorry. 190 00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,174 You-you got a-a shoehorn or something? 191 00:07:47,215 --> 00:07:49,385 Can you not talk, please? Just don't say a word. 192 00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:53,013 Come on, you piece of shit! 193 00:07:53,054 --> 00:07:54,056 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! 194 00:07:55,849 --> 00:07:57,225 Mama, get on it. 195 00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:58,268 Mm. 196 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,397 Oh! Ah! 197 00:08:02,355 --> 00:08:03,608 Oh, man. 198 00:08:03,648 --> 00:08:05,066 Hold that thought. Mom! 199 00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,485 Jump in between us. Hurry up. 200 00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:08,778 Oh, yeah, that's it. 201 00:08:08,820 --> 00:08:10,489 Ooh, yeah, that's it. 202 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:11,574 Ooh, bring it home. 203 00:08:11,615 --> 00:08:13,493 Bring it home, baby. Ooh! 204 00:08:15,076 --> 00:08:16,495 Stop, stop. 205 00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:18,748 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. 206 00:08:18,788 --> 00:08:20,208 Stop! 207 00:08:20,248 --> 00:08:22,375 You people wanna have a baby? Beautiful. 208 00:08:22,417 --> 00:08:23,835 Find another way to do it. 209 00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:26,339 I can't be working under these conditions. 210 00:08:26,379 --> 00:08:28,173 All right, we'll call you. 211 00:08:28,215 --> 00:08:29,508 Jump, jump 212 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,301 Jump, jump for joy 213 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,802 Jump, jump 214 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,680 Oh, flex. 215 00:08:34,721 --> 00:08:35,848 Flex. 216 00:08:47,317 --> 00:08:48,777 You gotta be shitting me. 217 00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:50,153 Attention, people! 218 00:08:50,195 --> 00:08:51,821 Kevin is gonna be a daddy! 219 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,410 Really? 220 00:08:56,451 --> 00:08:58,162 Look at the stick, people! 221 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,038 Beware. For the rest of the night, 222 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,209 I am stirring cocktails with this stick. 223 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,588 You are doing amazing, honey. 224 00:09:07,629 --> 00:09:08,881 How would you know? 225 00:09:08,922 --> 00:09:09,757 Because you're making all the right sounds. 226 00:09:09,798 --> 00:09:11,050 Remember that birthing video 227 00:09:11,091 --> 00:09:13,134 with the chick making all the buffalo noises? 228 00:09:13,176 --> 00:09:14,887 You're totally making those noises. 229 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,098 Would you like to stand around here with us? 230 00:09:17,138 --> 00:09:18,306 No, I'm good. 231 00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:19,432 You don't wanna watch? 232 00:09:19,474 --> 00:09:21,060 Oh, honey, I was over there earlier, 233 00:09:21,101 --> 00:09:22,894 and I saw some... hardcore shit, 234 00:09:22,936 --> 00:09:24,312 like, horror movie shit. 235 00:09:24,354 --> 00:09:25,480 No, I'm gonna stay with you. 236 00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:29,402 Nnh! I am so sorry I can't help. 237 00:09:29,442 --> 00:09:30,610 I'm useless at this. 238 00:09:30,652 --> 00:09:32,779 You know, Tommy says that in some cultures, 239 00:09:32,821 --> 00:09:34,824 men aren't even allowed near the birth, 240 00:09:34,864 --> 00:09:36,843 just a bunch of women in tents, which makes sense, 241 00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:38,177 because I would be so much more useful 242 00:09:38,201 --> 00:09:39,513 if I was out hunting moose or something. 243 00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:40,931 Ooh, shut up. Shut the fuck up, Kevin. 244 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,123 Please shut the fuck up. 245 00:09:42,163 --> 00:09:43,224 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 246 00:09:43,248 --> 00:09:44,458 The nurses just left them here 247 00:09:44,499 --> 00:09:46,335 like we know what the fuck we're doing. 248 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:48,713 This is Amy, and that's Gemma. 249 00:09:48,753 --> 00:09:50,171 Right, now, uh, tell me again. 250 00:09:50,214 --> 00:09:52,465 Um, this one's Amy. 251 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:54,384 Uh... I think so. 252 00:09:54,426 --> 00:09:55,802 I mean, I know their names. 253 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,095 I'm just not 100 percent yet 254 00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,263 on which one is which. 255 00:10:01,349 --> 00:10:03,311 Dramatic chords 256 00:10:09,566 --> 00:10:11,277 This is not your fault, V. 257 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:12,527 Gemma is not dumb. 258 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:15,196 Mrs. Cardenas has no idea what she's talking about. 259 00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:17,617 Operatic classical overture 260 00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:22,055 Is she drawing on her face? 261 00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:23,830 La, la, la, la, la 262 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,042 La, la, la, la, la 263 00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:27,460 If Gemma were in real school, 264 00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:29,295 this wouldn't even be an issue. 265 00:10:29,336 --> 00:10:31,129 How the hell is anybody 266 00:10:31,171 --> 00:10:32,648 supposed to learn anything on a damn iPad? 267 00:10:32,672 --> 00:10:34,508 She doesn't even have to go to kindergarten. 268 00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:36,134 It's not like it's a law or something. 269 00:10:36,176 --> 00:10:38,303 Yeah, but I don't want her to fall behind. 270 00:10:38,345 --> 00:10:39,805 Okay, fine. 271 00:10:39,846 --> 00:10:41,014 You homeschool Gemma. 272 00:10:41,056 --> 00:10:42,642 You're a smarty-pants. 273 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,728 Jaunty music 274 00:10:45,769 --> 00:10:47,187 Wait, so you're a nurse, Veronica? 275 00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:48,415 - Used to be. - Lying bitch. 276 00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,191 Fine... but I was offered a place 277 00:10:50,231 --> 00:10:51,691 in the nursing school. 278 00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,360 Fine, but it never happened. 279 00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:55,863 They fired her for selling medical supplies on eBay. 280 00:10:55,904 --> 00:10:57,782 Holy crap. 281 00:10:57,822 --> 00:10:59,032 I'm a ghetto nurse. 282 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:00,950 Better for folks around here to come to me 283 00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,244 than wait 18 hours in the emergency room. 284 00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:05,498 No, no! Always elevate extremities. 285 00:11:05,538 --> 00:11:07,333 Move before you give him a fucking embolism. 286 00:11:07,374 --> 00:11:09,752 The nose is the most commonly broken bone 287 00:11:09,793 --> 00:11:12,588 in boys between the ages of 13 and 25. 288 00:11:12,629 --> 00:11:14,840 Uh, that's-that's fascinating, but who's the old dude? 289 00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:17,718 Eww, that's nasty. 290 00:11:17,759 --> 00:11:19,845 Almost looks like shingles. 291 00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:21,180 Scabies, maybe? 292 00:11:21,221 --> 00:11:22,449 Been hiking in the woods lately? 293 00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:23,867 Changing your diet? Does your throat hurt? 294 00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,350 - No. - Stress rash. 295 00:11:31,648 --> 00:11:33,234 - V? - Making a video 296 00:11:33,274 --> 00:11:35,402 for one of those do-it-yourself websites online. 297 00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,696 Pays 150 bucks. This one's on a high colonic. 298 00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,322 Next week, I bleach my exit ramp. 299 00:11:39,364 --> 00:11:41,867 What do you want? Vicodin, morphine, peyote? 300 00:11:41,908 --> 00:11:43,786 - Tetrodotoxin. - These red ones. 301 00:11:43,827 --> 00:11:45,013 Give me, uh, the horse tranquilizer, 302 00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,413 enough to knock out a Clydesdale. 303 00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:47,498 This baby is coming. 304 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,083 - Now? - She's crowning. 305 00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:51,311 All right, ambulance is on its way. 306 00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:52,420 When I was having my girls, 307 00:11:52,460 --> 00:11:54,046 the doc told me to do three quick pants 308 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,547 and then one long blow. Okay? 309 00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:57,841 - I'm gonna do it with you. - Start pushing now, okay? 310 00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,468 Push, push. Push, baby. 311 00:11:59,509 --> 00:12:00,427 Push, push, push. 312 00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:01,469 Ooh. 313 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,431 Is the baby okay? 314 00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:05,974 She's great. 315 00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:08,561 She? 316 00:12:08,601 --> 00:12:09,729 Frederick Douglass. 317 00:12:09,769 --> 00:12:10,913 - Who? - Author, orator, 318 00:12:10,937 --> 00:12:11,939 escaped slave. 319 00:12:11,980 --> 00:12:13,315 The life expectancy 320 00:12:13,356 --> 00:12:14,899 for an average white man is 76. 321 00:12:14,941 --> 00:12:16,152 Exactly. 322 00:12:16,192 --> 00:12:17,753 For a poor white man from the South Side, 323 00:12:17,777 --> 00:12:19,154 it's 70 if you're lucky. 324 00:12:19,195 --> 00:12:21,322 - Jesus was a blond? - No, Jesus was Black 325 00:12:21,364 --> 00:12:22,575 and had nappy hair, 326 00:12:22,615 --> 00:12:23,759 but no one ever wants to talk about that. 327 00:12:23,783 --> 00:12:25,177 What does this have to do with pickles? 328 00:12:25,201 --> 00:12:26,662 Pickles provide essential vitamins, 329 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,247 minerals, and antioxidants, 330 00:12:28,288 --> 00:12:30,583 improve digestion and liver protection. 331 00:12:30,623 --> 00:12:33,418 Your drug is like a jar of pickles, but better. 332 00:12:33,460 --> 00:12:34,646 How do you know so much about pickles? 333 00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,921 - How'd it go? - You are a genius. 334 00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:38,423 If this one pill had been around 335 00:12:38,465 --> 00:12:40,551 when my daddy was juggling two pills and three jobs, 336 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,801 he would still be here... 337 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,888 to be a grandfather. 338 00:12:43,928 --> 00:12:45,513 Don't cry. Please don't cry. 339 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:46,724 I'm-I'm sorry. 340 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,267 So it's one pill instead of two, huh? 341 00:12:48,308 --> 00:12:49,976 What if you were to, say, 342 00:12:50,018 --> 00:12:51,896 misplace your scrip pad? 343 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,983 All right, ladies. Saddle up. 344 00:12:56,024 --> 00:12:57,526 We're going on a field trip. 345 00:12:57,567 --> 00:13:00,112 Mifepristone. You need an abortion. 346 00:13:00,153 --> 00:13:01,446 Here's my copay. 347 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,133 I'm afraid you're gonna have to pay full price. 348 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,700 Medicare only covers abortion in cases of rape, incest, 349 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,220 or when the mother's life is in danger. 350 00:13:07,244 --> 00:13:08,412 I'm 80 years old. 351 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:10,205 Having a baby'll probably kill me. 352 00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:11,998 I was raped. 353 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:14,000 - Incest for me. - Me too! 354 00:13:14,042 --> 00:13:15,377 Rape again. 355 00:13:15,418 --> 00:13:18,171 - I was raped too. - Incest too. 356 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,965 Bullshit. I'm not homeschooling her. 357 00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:21,633 - You homeschool her. - Fuck that. 358 00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:22,843 I got a bar to run. 359 00:13:22,884 --> 00:13:25,304 You run the bar? I run the bar. 360 00:13:27,013 --> 00:13:28,516 Alibi. Alibi. 361 00:13:28,556 --> 00:13:29,474 Alibi. 362 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:30,684 I gotta go to The Alibi. 363 00:13:30,725 --> 00:13:32,186 Vamoose. I gotta go to the bar. 364 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,396 Who wants a drink? 365 00:13:34,437 --> 00:13:36,565 Come on, V. Free pour it like Kev does. 366 00:13:36,606 --> 00:13:38,399 That's why the bar's losing money. 367 00:13:38,441 --> 00:13:39,652 Gonna take real money, Frank. 368 00:13:39,692 --> 00:13:41,362 Kev's not here for you to confuse. 369 00:13:41,402 --> 00:13:42,363 Uhh... 370 00:13:42,403 --> 00:13:43,781 Drag him to the sober chair. 371 00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:44,907 Where is everybody? 372 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,200 It's 10 a.m. 373 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:47,951 Shut up, Billy. Nobody asked you. 374 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,470 All right, you know what? Fuck it. 375 00:13:49,494 --> 00:13:50,704 I'll homeschool Gemma. 376 00:13:50,745 --> 00:13:51,955 How hard can it be? 377 00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:54,499 "Learning is knowing a few tricks." 378 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,167 "For example, 379 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:58,503 to learn the color spectrum, 380 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,840 just remember ROY G. BIV." 381 00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,966 "Which stands for red, orange, yellow, green, 382 00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,426 blue, indigo, violet." 383 00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:06,052 What the hell is indigo? 384 00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,470 Purple. 385 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,181 I thought violet was purple. 386 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,932 I-I don't know. 387 00:14:10,974 --> 00:14:12,976 PEMDAS, 388 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,519 which stands for "parentheses, 389 00:14:14,561 --> 00:14:15,955 exponents, multiplication, division, 390 00:14:15,979 --> 00:14:18,356 addition, subtraction." 391 00:14:18,398 --> 00:14:20,191 Yeah, this is way too hard. 392 00:14:20,984 --> 00:14:22,862 Jaunty music 393 00:14:22,902 --> 00:14:23,778 Are you calling me dumb? 394 00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:24,864 No. 395 00:14:24,904 --> 00:14:26,048 Well, it sounds like you are. 396 00:14:26,072 --> 00:14:27,466 Maybe I'm just too dumb to understand. 397 00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:28,617 I'm not calling you dumb. 398 00:14:28,658 --> 00:14:29,450 You applied it. 399 00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:30,744 "Implied." 400 00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:31,787 I know. 401 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:32,931 It's not like I'm "unliterate." 402 00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:33,955 Como se huh? 403 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,541 The Alibi Room. I'm gonna buy it. 404 00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,125 With what, your silver chains? 405 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,728 No, I'm gonna go to the loan store today 406 00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:39,795 and pick up some forms. 407 00:14:39,836 --> 00:14:41,129 You mean the bank? 408 00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:42,089 Yeah. 409 00:14:42,130 --> 00:14:43,233 Well, does it start with an S? 410 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:44,966 What the fuck? 411 00:14:45,008 --> 00:14:46,384 Cat. I know that shit, bitch. 412 00:14:46,426 --> 00:14:47,552 That's a cat! 413 00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,138 You learning shit off the TV again? 414 00:14:49,178 --> 00:14:50,489 Just a little bit of this, honey. 415 00:14:50,513 --> 00:14:51,891 Just a little bit of this. 416 00:14:54,225 --> 00:14:55,853 Son of a bitch, that's hot. 417 00:14:55,894 --> 00:14:57,646 My super "spermazoa" too much for her? 418 00:14:57,687 --> 00:14:58,855 Spermatozoa. 419 00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,292 And what, now you're-you're the arbiter 420 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:01,625 on where everybody's supposed to be? 421 00:15:01,649 --> 00:15:03,192 Yeah, maybe, 422 00:15:03,234 --> 00:15:04,945 if I knew what "arbiter" meant. 423 00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:05,945 GFY. 424 00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:07,239 Eh, TGIF. 425 00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,990 You realize that's not how you spell "come," right? 426 00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:14,913 Diplomas are overrated. 427 00:15:14,955 --> 00:15:16,956 I didn't get a diploma, and look at me. 428 00:15:16,998 --> 00:15:18,917 And don't be giving me no shit, Kev! 429 00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,835 I do not sound like that. 430 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:21,921 Oh! 431 00:15:21,961 --> 00:15:23,421 Takes two to tangle, you know. 432 00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:26,008 It's "tango," and I've tried to fuck you plenty of times. 433 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,301 They're not identical twins. They're... 434 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,262 whatever it is when- when you're not identical. 435 00:15:30,303 --> 00:15:32,306 Whee! Whee! 436 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,932 Separate individuals. 437 00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:35,517 Too many damn countries in Asia. 438 00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:37,101 They should just make it one country. 439 00:15:37,143 --> 00:15:38,269 No, no, no. Heatstroke. 440 00:15:38,311 --> 00:15:40,189 Isn't that when the heat... 441 00:15:40,229 --> 00:15:41,815 strokes you gently? 442 00:15:41,856 --> 00:15:44,777 Kev, you misspelled "résumé" on your résumé. 443 00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:52,700 It was benign, but the scare was very... 444 00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:54,494 v... shit. What is the word again? 445 00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:55,995 - Malignant. - Malignant. 446 00:15:56,037 --> 00:15:57,306 Do you remember what the doctor said? 447 00:15:57,330 --> 00:15:59,874 They're inbred. What if they try to eat us? 448 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,644 - I think that's cannibals. - Well, whatever. 449 00:16:01,668 --> 00:16:03,336 Why is it so much worse for her 450 00:16:03,378 --> 00:16:05,714 to take a tiny little pill that makes her "crazy" 451 00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,715 than it is for me to get my testicle lobbed off? 452 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,969 Your testicle will not be "lobbed off," sir. 453 00:16:10,009 --> 00:16:11,613 Only your vas deferens tubes are blocked. 454 00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:12,805 All right. 455 00:16:12,845 --> 00:16:14,806 I think I went overboard with my background. 456 00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:17,393 It's less cowboy and more hick. 457 00:16:17,433 --> 00:16:20,479 Your wife is... a knockout. 458 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,522 Hell, she could be cousins with my wife. 459 00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:24,148 Oh, that runs in the family, too. 460 00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:25,316 Or hillbilly. 461 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:26,902 Bumpkin? I have so much to learn. 462 00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,528 We need a Jesus for the Festival 463 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,489 of St. Felicity pageant next weekend, 464 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,825 and Mr. Ball looks like he works out. 465 00:16:32,865 --> 00:16:35,536 You want Kev to be Jesus? 466 00:16:35,576 --> 00:16:38,998 Dramatic high note 467 00:16:39,038 --> 00:16:40,665 Maybe I will go suck a dick. 468 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,017 I could be all gender liquid like you. 469 00:16:42,041 --> 00:16:43,001 You don't know. 470 00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:44,420 You mean genderfluid? 471 00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:46,337 Fluids, liquids, whatever. 472 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,607 V, what the hell are we supposed to do again? 473 00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:49,508 Make a face story on graham cracker? 474 00:16:49,549 --> 00:16:51,050 What have we done, Kev? 475 00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:53,429 We have increased our demand... 476 00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,805 or our supply. 477 00:16:54,846 --> 00:16:56,890 One of those two things, we've increased... 478 00:16:56,931 --> 00:16:58,017 or decreased. 479 00:16:58,057 --> 00:16:59,535 We can't keep going around in circles 480 00:16:59,559 --> 00:17:00,893 like the "our-oh-beris." 481 00:17:00,935 --> 00:17:02,979 - The what? - The "our-oh-beris." 482 00:17:03,021 --> 00:17:05,024 We keep going around in the same circle 483 00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:07,108 like the snake eating its own tail. 484 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,317 The ouroboros. 485 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,987 Yes. I was saying it wrong. 486 00:17:10,028 --> 00:17:11,989 Oh, that's such a badass word. 487 00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,406 Maybe we get a tutor. 488 00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:14,866 No money, V. 489 00:17:14,908 --> 00:17:17,286 We need somebody that'll work for free. 490 00:17:17,326 --> 00:17:19,203 Svetlana. 491 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:20,748 Too bad she isn't here right now. 492 00:17:20,788 --> 00:17:22,874 Where's our throuple when we need it most? 493 00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:24,751 V... 494 00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:26,045 Eh, what the hell? 495 00:17:26,085 --> 00:17:28,963 Uh... what the? 496 00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:30,632 I cook. I clean. 497 00:17:30,673 --> 00:17:32,050 Wifely duty. 498 00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:33,594 Are you kidding? I'm not gay. 499 00:17:33,634 --> 00:17:36,387 Tongue is tongue, no? 500 00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:38,056 What the hell? 501 00:17:38,097 --> 00:17:39,975 I'm halfway home already. 502 00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:41,393 Oh! Holy fuck. 503 00:17:41,434 --> 00:17:42,728 Mother of God. 504 00:17:45,855 --> 00:17:47,441 Consider it like rent check. 505 00:17:47,482 --> 00:17:49,777 I go mop now. 506 00:17:49,817 --> 00:17:52,196 First shower. Anybody wanna wash my back? 507 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,198 Upbeat music 508 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,408 Don't use all the hot water! 509 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:58,576 - Girls... - I'll do it. 510 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,421 Four, and lift... 511 00:18:10,463 --> 00:18:11,882 Cover bar with baby? 512 00:18:11,923 --> 00:18:13,174 It's okay. I babysit. 513 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,509 Ah, Svet, thank... 514 00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:18,947 I thought we were good in the sack, 515 00:18:18,971 --> 00:18:21,517 but she's like the Michael Jordan of erotic stimuli. 516 00:18:21,557 --> 00:18:24,268 - It's done. - What? How? 517 00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:25,104 I'm good with numbers. 518 00:18:25,144 --> 00:18:26,104 Since when do we have 519 00:18:26,145 --> 00:18:26,939 a karaoke machine? 520 00:18:26,979 --> 00:18:28,272 Since half-hour ago. 521 00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:30,608 We strip now. Pimp, watch babies. 522 00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,531 Your husband fucked your mother to make babies. 523 00:18:32,568 --> 00:18:34,696 You want to ride on high horse? 524 00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:36,698 Family meeting tonight. 525 00:18:36,739 --> 00:18:38,325 He will not be interested in baby girls 526 00:18:38,366 --> 00:18:39,966 until they reach at least ten years old. 527 00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:42,871 Ready for a family meeting. 528 00:18:42,912 --> 00:18:44,789 This is about family finances. 529 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:46,583 Sit. 530 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,460 Oh, shit. 531 00:18:49,502 --> 00:18:51,337 Fuck. Immigration. Fuck! 532 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:52,672 Don't forget your lines. 533 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,384 Rock music 534 00:18:56,425 --> 00:18:57,510 Coming! 535 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:03,225 Morning. Lester from USCIS. 536 00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,893 - Oh. - Immigration? 537 00:19:04,934 --> 00:19:06,562 This is the home you and your ex share 538 00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:08,104 with your two children? 539 00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:09,397 Yes. Yes, it is, 540 00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:11,691 until she fell for that no-good commie slut. 541 00:19:11,732 --> 00:19:14,318 You discovered your employee's being deported. 542 00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:15,903 Moments later, your live-in partner 543 00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:18,156 of many years dumps you. 544 00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:19,908 Can you fucking believe that shit? 545 00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:20,784 No. 546 00:19:20,825 --> 00:19:21,951 He didn't buy any of it? 547 00:19:21,993 --> 00:19:22,827 Not one word. 548 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:23,745 And when is he coming back? 549 00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,831 Could be tomorrow, next week. 550 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:26,873 I'm gonna break my neck 551 00:19:26,914 --> 00:19:28,225 flying down those stairs like that again. 552 00:19:28,249 --> 00:19:30,419 Maybe you should just stay down there. 553 00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:32,421 So are we gonna have a fuck schedule, 554 00:19:32,461 --> 00:19:34,088 or a fuck calendar? 555 00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:37,508 You see, like, Sunday will be V and Kev. 556 00:19:37,550 --> 00:19:40,261 You never hang up wet towels. 557 00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,681 You never refill the ice tray. 558 00:19:42,722 --> 00:19:46,852 Monday will be V and Kev and Svetlana. 559 00:19:46,893 --> 00:19:48,269 Ohh... 560 00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:49,580 No, you cannot come yet. 561 00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:53,357 Now you may come. 562 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:56,027 Tuesday will just be V and Svetlana. 563 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,925 Am I gonna get my own night with Svetlana? 564 00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,409 Oh, shit. That's awesome. 565 00:20:02,450 --> 00:20:04,219 Part of me wants to brag, but the other part's like, 566 00:20:04,243 --> 00:20:06,496 "Whoa, this is kind of freaky-deaky." 567 00:20:06,537 --> 00:20:09,290 No other dudes. No other dudes. 568 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,711 We know about Ivan. 569 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,922 - Ivan is husband. - So you didn't fuck your dad? 570 00:20:15,963 --> 00:20:17,382 Not since I left Russia. 571 00:20:17,423 --> 00:20:19,508 So what brings you here? 572 00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:22,220 So, um... 573 00:20:22,261 --> 00:20:23,931 me and my two wives are having trouble 574 00:20:23,971 --> 00:20:25,223 seeing eye to eye... 575 00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:26,682 eyes to eyes. 576 00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,768 I cook. I give oral. 577 00:20:28,809 --> 00:20:30,729 I protect from dangerous Russian. 578 00:20:30,770 --> 00:20:32,230 Everything for these two. 579 00:20:32,271 --> 00:20:34,816 Kev and V, are you hearing Lana? 580 00:20:34,857 --> 00:20:36,793 - Yes. - What is she saying? 581 00:20:36,817 --> 00:20:38,152 She gives oral. 582 00:20:38,194 --> 00:20:41,073 I always thought you were just some hand job whore. 583 00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:42,490 Oh, that's okay. 584 00:20:42,531 --> 00:20:44,260 I thought you were illiterate bartender pimp. 585 00:20:44,284 --> 00:20:46,995 Paperwork says Svetlana Fisher owns the joint. 586 00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:49,456 I am new owner of Alibi. 587 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:50,998 To being a family again. 588 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:52,250 Hoorah! 589 00:20:52,291 --> 00:20:53,919 Upbeat music 590 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,962 Immigration! Nobody move! 591 00:21:02,009 --> 00:21:03,720 What the hell is going on? 592 00:21:03,761 --> 00:21:06,014 That's her. She's the leader. 593 00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:08,976 Dramatic folk music 594 00:21:14,021 --> 00:21:16,275 Yeah, no. I'm never doing that again. 595 00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:18,777 Rock music 596 00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,405 Here's your breakfast, girls. 597 00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:24,908 And Amy, you have a new job. 598 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,411 You are gonna teach Gemma everything you know. 599 00:21:27,451 --> 00:21:29,371 Isn't that exciting? It's like a game. 600 00:21:29,412 --> 00:21:32,708 You make Gemma as smart as you, you get a big prize at the end. 601 00:21:32,748 --> 00:21:34,476 And make sure that Gemma doesn't leave Zoom 602 00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:36,460 until school is over. 603 00:21:36,502 --> 00:21:37,546 Okay? Mommy and Daddy 604 00:21:37,586 --> 00:21:38,462 are gonna go to work.. 605 00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:40,464 Jaunty music 606 00:21:40,507 --> 00:21:42,234 - You think it'll work? - Well, it's better 607 00:21:42,258 --> 00:21:44,177 her teaching homeschool than us. 608 00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:45,636 It's actually my fault, V. 609 00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,722 - What is? - Gemma. 610 00:21:47,764 --> 00:21:49,807 I was a bad student, too. Gemma got it from me. 611 00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:52,728 I passed on my bad student gene to Gemma. 612 00:21:52,768 --> 00:21:54,354 Shit. I hope I don't pass on 613 00:21:54,395 --> 00:21:56,440 my breast cancer gene, too. 614 00:21:56,940 --> 00:22:00,192 Dance music 615 00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:18,377 When's the last time you did a self-exam? 616 00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:20,046 A what? 617 00:22:22,214 --> 00:22:23,133 You have a lump. 618 00:22:23,174 --> 00:22:25,552 Piano and drum music 619 00:22:25,594 --> 00:22:27,636 There is a four-centimeter mass 620 00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:28,805 in your right breast. 621 00:22:28,846 --> 00:22:30,556 We need to do a biopsy immediately. 622 00:22:30,598 --> 00:22:33,852 Kevin, do you wanna share? 623 00:22:33,893 --> 00:22:35,687 Uh, yeah. 624 00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:36,729 Hello. 625 00:22:36,771 --> 00:22:37,730 - Hello. - Hi 626 00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:39,024 Glad to be here. 627 00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:41,567 Tomorrow, I get this guy cut into. 628 00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:44,028 And I got all these thoughts swimming around my head, 629 00:22:44,071 --> 00:22:46,280 like "Will I survive surgery?" 630 00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:48,200 "Has the cancer spread?" 631 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:50,035 "Will I get to watch my kids grow up?" 632 00:22:50,076 --> 00:22:52,537 "Will I ever be able to take my shirt off again in the gym 633 00:22:52,578 --> 00:22:54,456 or let men feel me up for tips?" 634 00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:55,915 Mm? 635 00:22:55,957 --> 00:22:57,541 Would you be comfortable 636 00:22:57,584 --> 00:22:59,210 if we gave you a group hug? 637 00:23:01,837 --> 00:23:04,048 Oh, yes, yes, yes. 638 00:23:05,467 --> 00:23:08,720 Together we stand. Together we fight. 639 00:23:08,761 --> 00:23:11,681 We do it with power. We do it with might. 640 00:23:11,722 --> 00:23:14,101 Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight. 641 00:23:14,142 --> 00:23:15,703 Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight. 642 00:23:15,727 --> 00:23:17,455 Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight. 643 00:23:17,479 --> 00:23:18,915 Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight. 644 00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:20,356 Go on, make a wish. 645 00:23:23,943 --> 00:23:25,653 Shit. 646 00:23:25,694 --> 00:23:27,029 It's still there. 647 00:23:27,072 --> 00:23:28,406 Kev, let's pray. 648 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,370 Mm. God, please protect Kev 649 00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:35,788 during his surgery. 650 00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:38,583 Let him wake up cancer-free, God. 651 00:23:38,624 --> 00:23:41,169 And God, when I'm under, 652 00:23:41,210 --> 00:23:43,337 please, please don't let anyone probe me 653 00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:44,756 where they're not supposed to. 654 00:23:44,797 --> 00:23:46,091 Kev... 655 00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:49,594 No, I read about it in my cancer chat rooms. 656 00:23:51,137 --> 00:23:52,931 V! 657 00:23:52,972 --> 00:23:55,267 What happened? Am I alive? 658 00:23:55,307 --> 00:23:56,434 Baby, what happened? 659 00:23:56,476 --> 00:23:57,829 Okay, I'ma go get the nurse, okay? 660 00:23:57,853 --> 00:23:59,604 What happened with my titty? 661 00:23:59,645 --> 00:24:02,356 Did they take my nipple? 662 00:24:02,399 --> 00:24:04,942 Oh, hey there, fella. How are you doing? 663 00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:06,361 How do you feel, Mr. Ball? 664 00:24:06,402 --> 00:24:07,863 Does he have cancer? 665 00:24:07,903 --> 00:24:09,948 I'll get the doctor. I'm not qualified to discuss 666 00:24:09,989 --> 00:24:11,740 what needs to be discussed. 667 00:24:13,451 --> 00:24:15,703 The fuck is that supposed to mean? 668 00:24:15,745 --> 00:24:18,248 I don't know. It sounded bad. 669 00:24:18,289 --> 00:24:20,749 It did sound bad, didn't it? 670 00:24:20,792 --> 00:24:22,085 Baby... 671 00:24:23,252 --> 00:24:26,172 I want you to set up a memorial for me at The Alibi. 672 00:24:26,213 --> 00:24:29,049 Everyone drinks 673 00:24:29,092 --> 00:24:32,554 at the exact time I die every year. 674 00:24:32,595 --> 00:24:35,222 And I want you to play Boyz II Men "End of the Road" 675 00:24:35,265 --> 00:24:37,433 really loud. 676 00:24:38,393 --> 00:24:40,144 Sorry for the delay, folks. 677 00:24:40,187 --> 00:24:41,896 I biopsied your lump, Mr. Ball. 678 00:24:41,938 --> 00:24:44,524 It's benign. 679 00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:48,361 Why? Why? 680 00:24:48,402 --> 00:24:50,197 What? 681 00:24:50,238 --> 00:24:52,007 What... is that good or bad? I can never remember. 682 00:24:52,031 --> 00:24:54,409 Oh, it's good, baby. You don't have cancer. 683 00:24:54,450 --> 00:24:55,993 I don't have cancer? 684 00:24:56,036 --> 00:24:58,037 - Oh, thank you, Lord! - Oh, thank God. 685 00:24:58,078 --> 00:24:59,163 Not the brightest bulb. 686 00:24:59,206 --> 00:25:01,165 Well, God doesn't give with both hands. 687 00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:02,750 You have other great qualities. 688 00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:05,711 Yeah, I do, don't I? 689 00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:07,046 Like what? 690 00:25:07,087 --> 00:25:08,464 You're a great dad. 691 00:25:09,007 --> 00:25:11,425 Now, the players in the black and white... 692 00:25:11,468 --> 00:25:13,385 They're the White Sox. That's our team. 693 00:25:13,428 --> 00:25:15,846 And the pussies in the gray and blue... 694 00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:17,241 They're the Twins. We hate the Twins. 695 00:25:17,265 --> 00:25:19,308 No, no, no, no. 696 00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:20,977 Not the baby girl twins. 697 00:25:22,895 --> 00:25:24,730 You're the best tennis players 698 00:25:24,772 --> 00:25:26,232 on the planet. 699 00:25:26,274 --> 00:25:29,110 Gemma, you have the number one backhand smash 700 00:25:29,152 --> 00:25:31,196 - in the world. - Kev... 701 00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:32,878 I'm thinking the subliminal message thing 702 00:25:32,905 --> 00:25:34,156 is really working. 703 00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:35,616 There is no Gemma. 704 00:25:35,659 --> 00:25:37,576 Gemma doesn't exist anymore. 705 00:25:37,618 --> 00:25:38,620 Only Amy. 706 00:25:38,662 --> 00:25:40,079 And you're devout Catholics, 707 00:25:40,121 --> 00:25:42,123 so cross yourselves a lot like this. 708 00:25:42,164 --> 00:25:43,708 Rock music 709 00:25:43,749 --> 00:25:44,894 In my house, the way to get closer to God 710 00:25:44,918 --> 00:25:46,377 on Saturday is to play. 711 00:25:46,419 --> 00:25:49,088 - Is that in Ezekiel? - Yeah, the updated version. 712 00:25:49,130 --> 00:25:50,422 Holy fuck. 713 00:25:50,464 --> 00:25:52,258 I'm ready for you, sir. 714 00:25:52,299 --> 00:25:53,444 Clyde usually had me on Tuesdays, 715 00:25:53,468 --> 00:25:54,779 but if you want me on Saturday... 716 00:25:54,803 --> 00:25:56,220 No, I don't want you on Saturdays. 717 00:25:56,262 --> 00:25:58,157 - I don't want you ever... - Hey, Deb, we're all ready to... 718 00:25:58,181 --> 00:25:59,473 Whoa. 719 00:25:59,516 --> 00:26:01,768 - Hey. - Hey, what's up, man? 720 00:26:01,809 --> 00:26:03,269 What are you doing? 721 00:26:03,310 --> 00:26:05,104 Giving Santiago more of an American look 722 00:26:05,145 --> 00:26:06,565 before we go to The Alibi. 723 00:26:06,605 --> 00:26:09,108 Final touch. 724 00:26:09,150 --> 00:26:10,235 How's he look? 725 00:26:10,277 --> 00:26:11,361 Like a cheesy American. 726 00:26:14,154 --> 00:26:15,824 Kid brought the heat. 727 00:26:15,864 --> 00:26:17,366 My God, he's got a cannon! 728 00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:19,118 This is gonna be the best summer ever. 729 00:26:21,453 --> 00:26:22,872 Come on. Come on, let's go. 730 00:26:22,913 --> 00:26:24,349 - What are you doing? - We're gonna go 731 00:26:24,373 --> 00:26:25,374 play fetch. 732 00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:26,769 It worked for that dog walker lady. 733 00:26:26,793 --> 00:26:28,127 Maybe it'll work for our kids. 734 00:26:28,169 --> 00:26:30,212 Okay, girls, you ready? You ready? 735 00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:32,382 Go get it! Go get it! 736 00:26:32,423 --> 00:26:34,300 Bring it back. Run fast. 737 00:26:36,635 --> 00:26:37,886 Okay, drop it. 738 00:26:37,929 --> 00:26:39,055 Drop it. Drop it. 739 00:26:40,890 --> 00:26:42,851 You have rocking bod, 740 00:26:42,892 --> 00:26:45,437 and you know how to stick the stones to me real good. 741 00:26:45,478 --> 00:26:46,998 Well, I am a genius in that department. 742 00:26:48,398 --> 00:26:50,107 Get naked... now. 743 00:26:50,150 --> 00:26:50,983 Peppy music 744 00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:52,443 Yes! Yes! 745 00:26:52,485 --> 00:26:53,944 Oh, sorry. I came in the back way. 746 00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:55,529 You're not the only one. 747 00:26:59,575 --> 00:27:00,618 Debbie? 748 00:27:00,660 --> 00:27:01,786 No, stay focused, baby. 749 00:27:01,827 --> 00:27:03,287 Are the Gallaghers in our bathroom? 750 00:27:07,083 --> 00:27:08,168 Don't know where you been 751 00:27:09,544 --> 00:27:10,629 Take off your clothes 752 00:27:10,670 --> 00:27:11,897 and get on the bed on all fours. 753 00:27:11,921 --> 00:27:13,964 Now I will spank you with this paddle... 754 00:27:14,007 --> 00:27:16,050 you bad wife. 755 00:27:19,554 --> 00:27:20,846 French fry. French fry. 756 00:27:20,889 --> 00:27:21,991 Just a really quick French fry. 757 00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:23,283 V, I don't really wanna hurt you, 758 00:27:23,307 --> 00:27:25,643 - but this could scar you. - It's not gonna scar. 759 00:27:25,684 --> 00:27:26,978 Okay. 760 00:27:27,019 --> 00:27:28,354 Okay, I can do this. 761 00:27:28,395 --> 00:27:31,357 Now, brace yourself for my wrath, 762 00:27:31,399 --> 00:27:33,902 because it's paddle time. 763 00:27:33,942 --> 00:27:36,863 Funky music 764 00:27:36,904 --> 00:27:37,989 French fry. 765 00:27:39,114 --> 00:27:41,200 Oh! 766 00:27:41,241 --> 00:27:42,410 Oh, sorry. 767 00:27:42,451 --> 00:27:44,245 - Ow. - Yeah, take it, you old gimp. 768 00:27:44,287 --> 00:27:45,997 Turn over. Mama's gonna give you an exam. 769 00:27:46,038 --> 00:27:47,164 Ah. 770 00:27:47,207 --> 00:27:49,668 That didn't hurt half as much 771 00:27:49,709 --> 00:27:51,502 as I thought it would. 772 00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:55,006 You're a sharp businessman. 773 00:27:55,798 --> 00:27:57,174 - Uh-oh. - What uh-oh? 774 00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:59,594 Sometimes your plans can be a little crazy-pants, Kev. 775 00:27:59,635 --> 00:28:01,095 Oh, ho, ho, ho! 776 00:28:01,136 --> 00:28:02,096 What? 777 00:28:02,137 --> 00:28:03,515 We may need to sell some pot. 778 00:28:03,556 --> 00:28:04,723 Isn't that what we always do? 779 00:28:04,766 --> 00:28:05,933 A lot of pot. 780 00:28:07,977 --> 00:28:09,437 I know. Baby, I know. 781 00:28:09,479 --> 00:28:10,521 I got carried away. 782 00:28:10,563 --> 00:28:11,855 Isn't it wonderful? 783 00:28:11,897 --> 00:28:14,275 Mr. Kevin is gonna help all the old people 784 00:28:14,316 --> 00:28:16,068 who are going blind. 785 00:28:16,111 --> 00:28:17,277 What can I get you, champ? 786 00:28:17,319 --> 00:28:18,755 Lemon-lime shot, chocolate chip cookie bar, 787 00:28:18,779 --> 00:28:20,656 - and a Molson's. - Molson's? 788 00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:23,034 We sell American beer here to children of age. 789 00:28:23,075 --> 00:28:24,993 Come back for a Bud Light when you're 16. 790 00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:26,954 Two Buds and a spliff, please. 791 00:28:26,996 --> 00:28:28,498 - How old are you? - 15. 792 00:28:28,539 --> 00:28:29,934 Here's four fives. Keep the change. 793 00:28:29,958 --> 00:28:31,418 Raise your arms. 794 00:28:31,459 --> 00:28:33,670 Come back when you grow some hair in your pits. 795 00:28:33,711 --> 00:28:35,171 Well, it's dorms, right? 796 00:28:35,212 --> 00:28:36,857 I mean, they're our permanent ice cream truck. 797 00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:39,258 I always wanted to go to college. 798 00:28:41,302 --> 00:28:44,264 Upbeat rock music 799 00:28:52,479 --> 00:28:54,606 I'm a gentleman, Lip. I'm just escorting them home. 800 00:28:54,649 --> 00:28:56,985 Our rape blocker to the rescue. 801 00:28:57,026 --> 00:28:58,611 I'm here about the bartending job. 802 00:28:58,652 --> 00:29:01,614 Upbeat dance music 803 00:29:14,335 --> 00:29:15,920 Oh! 804 00:29:15,961 --> 00:29:18,547 Come on, Milo. Push that 60. 805 00:29:18,589 --> 00:29:20,341 There you go. You gotta work off 806 00:29:20,383 --> 00:29:22,218 that Avocado Kombucha smoothie, 807 00:29:22,259 --> 00:29:23,595 or whatever the fuck you drink. 808 00:29:23,635 --> 00:29:25,095 Full rotations, man. 809 00:29:25,137 --> 00:29:27,931 Do you want your name under "Pussy of the Day"? 810 00:29:27,973 --> 00:29:30,393 Is that what you want, Jasper? 811 00:29:30,434 --> 00:29:31,935 Way to go, Oscar. 812 00:29:31,978 --> 00:29:33,229 Puke is pride. 813 00:29:33,270 --> 00:29:35,899 I wanna join. Uh, you take Amex? 814 00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:38,567 Cash only. ATM is right there. 815 00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:39,837 We could open up a dry cleaner. 816 00:29:39,861 --> 00:29:40,963 - No. - Mattress store. 817 00:29:40,987 --> 00:29:41,821 Uh-uh. 818 00:29:41,863 --> 00:29:42,905 Think tank. 819 00:29:42,947 --> 00:29:44,090 What the hell is a think tank? 820 00:29:44,114 --> 00:29:46,159 It's where people sit around and think. 821 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,076 That's The Alibi. 822 00:29:48,118 --> 00:29:49,953 Got some TVs fell off the back of a truck. 823 00:29:49,996 --> 00:29:51,288 This where you sell stuff? 824 00:29:51,331 --> 00:29:53,624 No, this is not the place that... 825 00:29:53,665 --> 00:29:55,794 sells stolen goods as a side hustle. 826 00:29:56,376 --> 00:29:57,796 That's a relic. 827 00:29:57,836 --> 00:29:59,005 I'll give you five for it. 828 00:29:59,046 --> 00:30:00,798 Pleasure doing business with you. 829 00:30:00,839 --> 00:30:02,800 Rock music 830 00:30:02,842 --> 00:30:05,886 Check it out! Sister wives. 831 00:30:05,929 --> 00:30:07,305 Whoo. 832 00:30:07,346 --> 00:30:08,823 All right, stop. You're gonna give me 833 00:30:08,847 --> 00:30:11,351 a big head. 834 00:30:11,392 --> 00:30:12,977 What are we gonna do about Gemma? 835 00:30:13,018 --> 00:30:14,245 Well, at least we got one good one. 836 00:30:14,269 --> 00:30:16,314 - Kev. - I'm joking. 837 00:30:16,355 --> 00:30:18,816 I love those girls the same, but I do feel better that Amy's 838 00:30:18,857 --> 00:30:20,503 probably gonna take care of us when we're older. 839 00:30:20,527 --> 00:30:22,444 Mm. 840 00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:24,572 Mama, how do I look? 841 00:30:24,614 --> 00:30:25,656 Amy? 842 00:30:25,698 --> 00:30:27,534 Gemma did my makeup. 843 00:30:27,575 --> 00:30:29,076 What? How? 844 00:30:29,117 --> 00:30:32,412 Binge watching Huda Kattan YouTube videos. 845 00:30:32,454 --> 00:30:34,998 What's a Huddacatan? 846 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:35,999 Is that what you've been doing 847 00:30:36,041 --> 00:30:37,144 instead of going to Zoom school? 848 00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:38,377 Uh-huh. 849 00:30:38,419 --> 00:30:39,962 Jaunty music 850 00:30:40,004 --> 00:30:42,172 God doesn't give with both hands. 851 00:30:42,214 --> 00:30:44,467 No, she doesn't. 852 00:30:44,508 --> 00:30:45,927 There you go. 853 00:30:48,095 --> 00:30:51,891 Wow. I look great. 854 00:30:51,932 --> 00:30:53,601 Thank you. 855 00:30:53,643 --> 00:30:55,269 My baby does a good job, huh? 856 00:30:55,310 --> 00:30:57,188 I'd say so. 857 00:30:57,229 --> 00:30:58,355 That'll be $25, 858 00:30:58,398 --> 00:30:59,707 plus whatever tip you'd like to leave. 859 00:30:59,731 --> 00:31:01,942 Mm, here is $30. 860 00:31:01,985 --> 00:31:03,361 Thank you. 861 00:31:03,402 --> 00:31:04,713 - See you again? - Definitely. 862 00:31:04,737 --> 00:31:06,698 Pimping out your daughter? 863 00:31:06,739 --> 00:31:08,365 Hell no. 864 00:31:08,408 --> 00:31:10,450 I don't objectify women. You know me. 865 00:31:12,161 --> 00:31:13,287 What the hell? 866 00:31:13,328 --> 00:31:14,454 They made a list 867 00:31:14,497 --> 00:31:16,457 of the rapiest bars in the South Side, 868 00:31:16,498 --> 00:31:18,209 and The Alibi's number one? 869 00:31:18,250 --> 00:31:19,395 I haven't raped anybody in here. 870 00:31:19,419 --> 00:31:21,421 No one's ever raped anyone in here, 871 00:31:21,461 --> 00:31:22,588 at least not on the inside. 872 00:31:22,630 --> 00:31:23,797 Out in the alleyway, maybe. 873 00:31:23,839 --> 00:31:25,383 Who says we're rapey? 874 00:31:25,424 --> 00:31:26,550 Some stupid article. 875 00:31:26,593 --> 00:31:28,052 I mean, look around. W-w-what- 876 00:31:28,094 --> 00:31:30,012 what's so rapey about this place, anyway? 877 00:31:30,054 --> 00:31:31,890 Do your thing, girl 878 00:31:31,931 --> 00:31:33,348 What's your preference? 879 00:31:33,391 --> 00:31:35,727 Man of your dreams or a death wish 880 00:31:35,768 --> 00:31:38,270 Somebody to live on the edge with 881 00:31:38,313 --> 00:31:40,523 Girl, I teach you oh so special 882 00:31:40,565 --> 00:31:43,442 I get nasty, boys get raspy 883 00:31:43,483 --> 00:31:44,943 I don't know, V. Maybe this place is 884 00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:46,088 - a little rapey. - You think? 885 00:31:46,112 --> 00:31:47,614 Craig has his dick out right now. 886 00:31:47,654 --> 00:31:48,698 Craig! 887 00:31:48,739 --> 00:31:50,783 I have two daughters. 888 00:31:50,825 --> 00:31:52,785 What kind of father am I if I'm also the owner 889 00:31:52,826 --> 00:31:53,912 of the local rapery? 890 00:31:53,952 --> 00:31:55,579 The bottom line is that 891 00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:57,248 the bar can't be rapey anymore. 892 00:31:57,289 --> 00:31:59,625 If women stay away, 893 00:31:59,666 --> 00:32:01,085 bad for business. 894 00:32:01,126 --> 00:32:03,671 Plus rapey is wrong. 895 00:32:03,712 --> 00:32:05,589 And-and more importantly, rapey is wrong. 896 00:32:05,632 --> 00:32:08,593 Cheerful music 897 00:32:11,470 --> 00:32:12,781 You don't think someone 898 00:32:12,805 --> 00:32:14,097 could misinterpret that sign? 899 00:32:14,140 --> 00:32:15,098 What? 900 00:32:15,141 --> 00:32:16,683 How? If you have a vagina, 901 00:32:16,726 --> 00:32:18,478 you're safe. Vagina safe zone. 902 00:32:18,518 --> 00:32:22,272 There's no way we are still on that rapiest bar list. 903 00:32:22,315 --> 00:32:24,150 We have all the signed sex consent forms. 904 00:32:24,191 --> 00:32:26,027 We took down all the rapey posters 905 00:32:26,068 --> 00:32:27,694 and the bondage stuff. 906 00:32:27,737 --> 00:32:29,529 You're the, uh, Vagina Safe guy? 907 00:32:29,572 --> 00:32:31,156 Yes. 908 00:32:31,199 --> 00:32:33,575 I'm Bill Doyle. I own the Spread Eagle 909 00:32:33,617 --> 00:32:34,451 on 52nd. 910 00:32:34,493 --> 00:32:35,370 Oh, yeah, I know the place. 911 00:32:35,411 --> 00:32:36,746 Uh, deep-fried pickles, right? 912 00:32:36,787 --> 00:32:38,456 I was number two on the rapey bar list. 913 00:32:38,498 --> 00:32:39,623 Then you got off it, 914 00:32:39,665 --> 00:32:40,999 so now I'm number one. 915 00:32:41,041 --> 00:32:43,044 You already got women coming in. 916 00:32:43,085 --> 00:32:45,837 Wow. How'd you turn it around? 917 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,798 I had to take an honest inventory 918 00:32:47,839 --> 00:32:49,508 about how The Alibi was contributing 919 00:32:49,549 --> 00:32:51,219 to the oppression of women 920 00:32:51,259 --> 00:32:53,136 and helped furthering the patriarchy. 921 00:32:58,101 --> 00:33:01,062 Bluesy music 922 00:33:05,857 --> 00:33:06,985 Hey, how you doing? 923 00:33:07,026 --> 00:33:08,152 Hi. 924 00:33:08,193 --> 00:33:09,653 What can I get you? 925 00:33:09,696 --> 00:33:11,572 May I have a vodka cranberry, please? 926 00:33:11,614 --> 00:33:14,741 Vodka cranberry coming right up. 927 00:33:25,795 --> 00:33:27,046 Hey. 928 00:33:30,508 --> 00:33:32,509 How you doing? 929 00:33:32,552 --> 00:33:34,804 Would you like a little lime with that, or... 930 00:33:34,845 --> 00:33:36,681 - Please. - All right. 931 00:33:40,727 --> 00:33:43,855 Four topless mermaids with nipples exposed. 932 00:33:46,899 --> 00:33:50,694 Approximately 41 pairs of panties 933 00:33:50,736 --> 00:33:53,698 hanging from the ceiling. 934 00:33:53,739 --> 00:33:56,743 Centerfold pinup behind the bar 935 00:33:56,783 --> 00:34:00,455 with dart sticking out of her posterior area. 936 00:34:04,082 --> 00:34:06,209 Man at end of bar visually undressing 937 00:34:06,252 --> 00:34:07,754 subject Veronica. 938 00:34:10,964 --> 00:34:13,259 Subject Veronica going to bathroom 939 00:34:13,301 --> 00:34:16,928 as planned. 940 00:34:16,971 --> 00:34:20,433 No one following her into the bathroom as of yet. 941 00:34:20,475 --> 00:34:22,602 Hold on. 942 00:34:22,642 --> 00:34:25,730 Man approaching subject's cocktail. 943 00:34:30,609 --> 00:34:32,779 Man has slipped unknown pharmaceutical 944 00:34:32,819 --> 00:34:35,823 into subject's cocktail. Assume a roofie. 945 00:34:37,950 --> 00:34:41,120 Second man approaching subject cocktail, 946 00:34:41,162 --> 00:34:43,997 also dropping unknown pharmaceutical 947 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:47,627 into drink. 948 00:34:47,667 --> 00:34:50,587 Third man approaching with unknown pharmaceutical, 949 00:34:50,629 --> 00:34:53,299 and he has dropped unknown pharmaceutical 950 00:34:53,341 --> 00:34:55,551 into her drink. 951 00:35:06,645 --> 00:35:09,357 To satisfy my soul 952 00:35:18,366 --> 00:35:22,328 I wanna hug all women, 953 00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:25,163 all of them, 954 00:35:25,205 --> 00:35:26,373 everywhere I see them, 955 00:35:26,415 --> 00:35:28,625 to apologize. 956 00:35:28,667 --> 00:35:31,671 A random hug from a giant white stranger 957 00:35:31,712 --> 00:35:34,422 ain't gonna make us feel any more comfortable about men. 958 00:35:36,801 --> 00:35:39,303 But we will capitalize on their strengths. 959 00:35:39,345 --> 00:35:41,180 We got two good ones, babe. 960 00:35:41,221 --> 00:35:43,181 Yeah, we do. 961 00:35:43,223 --> 00:35:44,850 It's all my fault. 962 00:35:44,892 --> 00:35:46,560 - What is? - How great they are. 963 00:35:46,602 --> 00:35:48,855 No, it's not your fault. That's my fault. 964 00:35:48,895 --> 00:35:51,941 Funky music 965 00:35:55,402 --> 00:35:57,696 My baby daddy can take care of me! 966 00:35:57,738 --> 00:35:59,239 And your baby, and your mama's baby. 967 00:35:59,281 --> 00:36:01,951 Ooh-hoo, we a regular modern family, baby. 968 00:36:04,287 --> 00:36:05,997 Hey! 969 00:36:08,540 --> 00:36:10,084 And I'm sorry, 970 00:36:10,125 --> 00:36:12,669 but I would never leave you, 971 00:36:12,712 --> 00:36:14,087 ever. 972 00:36:14,129 --> 00:36:15,506 You gotta know that. 973 00:36:15,547 --> 00:36:16,859 I'm putting a force field around us now. 974 00:36:16,883 --> 00:36:18,091 Babe. 975 00:36:18,134 --> 00:36:20,218 Taking care of what's mine. Come here. 976 00:36:20,261 --> 00:36:22,221 Get in my force field. 977 00:36:22,263 --> 00:36:25,223 I'm really sorry I didn't fuck you before, but... 978 00:36:25,265 --> 00:36:27,185 I really, really wanna fuck you now. 979 00:36:27,225 --> 00:36:30,020 I borrowed Lip's school computer to get online, 980 00:36:30,062 --> 00:36:32,189 and I found that porn that we made, 981 00:36:32,230 --> 00:36:33,774 and then I jerked off to it. 982 00:36:33,816 --> 00:36:34,984 That's so sweet. 983 00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:37,986 Heavy metal music 984 00:36:40,323 --> 00:36:42,325 That's what I'm talking about. 985 00:36:42,366 --> 00:36:44,368 - Yeah! - Aww. 986 00:36:46,453 --> 00:36:47,830 You! 987 00:36:48,747 --> 00:36:49,998 Oh, my gosh. 988 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:51,250 Ask me. 989 00:36:51,292 --> 00:36:52,877 Veronica Fisher, 990 00:36:52,919 --> 00:36:54,127 will you marry me? 991 00:36:54,169 --> 00:36:55,546 Yes. 992 00:36:55,587 --> 00:36:58,256 Yes, yes, yes, yes. 993 00:37:01,843 --> 00:37:03,428 Oh, shit! 994 00:37:03,471 --> 00:37:04,513 That's cold! 995 00:37:04,555 --> 00:37:06,223 What the hell? Veronica! 996 00:37:06,265 --> 00:37:07,850 There's no hot water. 997 00:37:10,810 --> 00:37:12,897 Fucking Gallaghers. 998 00:37:12,939 --> 00:37:14,732 No wonder those foster kids are messed up. 999 00:37:14,774 --> 00:37:17,651 That's why they need a positive influence. 1000 00:37:17,692 --> 00:37:19,904 Where's my damn toaster? Huh? 1001 00:37:19,946 --> 00:37:21,988 - You live here now? - Toaster. 1002 00:37:22,031 --> 00:37:23,257 My cell's gone. Help me look for my cell. 1003 00:37:23,281 --> 00:37:24,592 - It's gone. - I gave Lip your cell 1004 00:37:24,616 --> 00:37:25,677 so he could call around, see if anybody knew 1005 00:37:25,701 --> 00:37:26,576 where Frank was. 1006 00:37:26,618 --> 00:37:27,662 So now both my bills 1007 00:37:27,703 --> 00:37:28,913 are being run up over there. 1008 00:37:28,955 --> 00:37:30,497 We need more time. Can you stall him? 1009 00:37:31,832 --> 00:37:33,584 Chopped up some leftover chuck 1010 00:37:33,625 --> 00:37:35,169 for a bolognaise ragout. 1011 00:37:35,210 --> 00:37:36,921 I hope everybody is good and hungry. 1012 00:37:36,962 --> 00:37:38,565 Hey, Kev, you got a Bears jersey I can borrow? 1013 00:37:38,589 --> 00:37:40,591 Borrow as in I get it right back, 1014 00:37:40,633 --> 00:37:43,176 or borrow as in you plan to keep it forever 1015 00:37:43,218 --> 00:37:44,428 and forget it isn't yours? 1016 00:37:44,470 --> 00:37:45,906 He wants me to come over to his place tonight. 1017 00:37:45,930 --> 00:37:47,430 Oh. You should go. 1018 00:37:47,473 --> 00:37:49,618 I'll keep an eye on the kids. I need the kid practice now. 1019 00:37:49,642 --> 00:37:51,685 - Yeah, times two. - Oh. 1020 00:37:51,727 --> 00:37:52,828 What about her? 1021 00:37:52,852 --> 00:37:54,081 You're not gonna get fired 1022 00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:55,814 for letting us borrow an old lady, right? 1023 00:37:55,855 --> 00:37:56,941 Or what? 1024 00:37:56,982 --> 00:37:58,401 Ah, shit. 1025 00:38:01,361 --> 00:38:02,696 Can you watch him for 15 minutes? 1026 00:38:02,738 --> 00:38:03,965 Damn, Fi, you see I'm in the middle of doing my... 1027 00:38:03,989 --> 00:38:05,283 Thanks. 1028 00:38:05,323 --> 00:38:06,491 Okay, sure. 1029 00:38:06,533 --> 00:38:07,701 Hey. 1030 00:38:08,410 --> 00:38:09,495 Who the fuck are you? 1031 00:38:09,537 --> 00:38:10,788 Is this that missing kid? 1032 00:38:10,830 --> 00:38:11,705 Debbie stole him, 1033 00:38:11,747 --> 00:38:12,622 and now we have to figure out 1034 00:38:12,665 --> 00:38:13,790 how to give him back 1035 00:38:13,832 --> 00:38:14,893 without giving her 36 months of juvie. 1036 00:38:14,917 --> 00:38:16,310 I'm not sure what's going on with her. 1037 00:38:16,334 --> 00:38:18,004 Oh, maybe it's 'cause your mom bailed 1038 00:38:18,044 --> 00:38:20,297 and Frank's a big drunk. 1039 00:38:20,339 --> 00:38:21,482 Oh, what, I'm the asshole now? 1040 00:38:21,506 --> 00:38:22,650 She's the one who stole a baby. 1041 00:38:22,674 --> 00:38:23,819 Kev, what time you going to work today? 1042 00:38:23,843 --> 00:38:25,468 Uh, I go in at 6:00. 1043 00:38:25,511 --> 00:38:26,737 All right, you're going in early. 1044 00:38:26,761 --> 00:38:27,989 You should go in, tell them you saw 1045 00:38:28,013 --> 00:38:29,199 a little boy in a Superman costume 1046 00:38:29,223 --> 00:38:30,890 walking down Grand Avenue. 1047 00:38:30,933 --> 00:38:31,892 I was walking to work, 1048 00:38:31,933 --> 00:38:33,477 and I saw this cute little kid 1049 00:38:33,518 --> 00:38:35,145 wearing a Superman costume. 1050 00:38:35,187 --> 00:38:36,980 Cute little kid. 1051 00:38:37,022 --> 00:38:38,333 A little kid in a Superman costume? 1052 00:38:38,357 --> 00:38:40,067 Superman costume. Sandy hair. 1053 00:38:40,109 --> 00:38:41,420 That's the little boy that's missing. 1054 00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:42,319 Where did you see him? 1055 00:38:42,361 --> 00:38:43,654 On Grand. I just passed him, 1056 00:38:43,696 --> 00:38:44,821 like, five minutes ago. 1057 00:38:44,863 --> 00:38:45,965 Well, we have to call that in, 1058 00:38:45,989 --> 00:38:46,866 Kev. 1059 00:38:46,906 --> 00:38:48,326 Yes, we do. 1060 00:38:48,366 --> 00:38:49,826 Two virgin piña coladas. 1061 00:38:49,868 --> 00:38:50,953 Thank you, Kate. 1062 00:38:50,995 --> 00:38:53,330 I had no idea people I knew could die. 1063 00:38:53,372 --> 00:38:55,082 Honey, he was old. 1064 00:38:55,123 --> 00:38:57,917 Yeah, but that means my family is gonna die, too, 1065 00:38:57,959 --> 00:38:59,502 and then I'll be all alone. 1066 00:38:59,544 --> 00:39:01,464 Debs, there are way too many things in life 1067 00:39:01,504 --> 00:39:02,964 you gonna have to worry about. 1068 00:39:03,006 --> 00:39:04,924 Don't stress about this right now. 1069 00:39:04,966 --> 00:39:05,968 What's wrong with me? 1070 00:39:06,009 --> 00:39:07,218 What? 1071 00:39:07,261 --> 00:39:08,678 Ethel's got a boy into her, 1072 00:39:08,721 --> 00:39:10,180 and she's already has a husband. 1073 00:39:10,221 --> 00:39:12,767 You're a guy. Don't spare my feelings. 1074 00:39:12,808 --> 00:39:14,536 Are you sure you're sending strong enough signals? 1075 00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:15,770 I've tried. 1076 00:39:15,810 --> 00:39:17,270 Guys are pretty dumb. 1077 00:39:17,312 --> 00:39:19,248 Sometimes you have to put something shiny in a window 1078 00:39:19,272 --> 00:39:20,441 to get them to the store. 1079 00:39:20,482 --> 00:39:21,567 Thanks, Kevin. 1080 00:39:21,609 --> 00:39:22,793 So you gonna tell me what happened? 1081 00:39:22,817 --> 00:39:24,527 Why do you wanna know anyway? 1082 00:39:24,569 --> 00:39:26,297 'Cause you been running your ass around here 1083 00:39:26,321 --> 00:39:28,299 like a Black Scarface, and I care about you, okay? 1084 00:39:28,323 --> 00:39:30,408 That stupid dumbass. 1085 00:39:30,451 --> 00:39:32,370 He seemed scared, Kev, made me swear 1086 00:39:32,410 --> 00:39:33,370 that I wouldn't tell Fiona. 1087 00:39:33,412 --> 00:39:35,705 Oh, no, no, no, no. 1088 00:39:35,747 --> 00:39:36,873 That's why you're here. 1089 00:39:36,915 --> 00:39:38,417 Well, we have to do something. 1090 00:39:38,459 --> 00:39:39,728 No, you want me to do something. 1091 00:39:39,752 --> 00:39:41,145 I promised I wouldn't say anything. 1092 00:39:41,169 --> 00:39:42,546 You know I can't keep secrets. 1093 00:39:42,587 --> 00:39:45,508 Exactly, so you'll tell Fiona. 1094 00:39:45,549 --> 00:39:46,966 God damn it, V. 1095 00:39:47,009 --> 00:39:48,819 - May I see some ID, please? - What, are you kidding me? 1096 00:39:48,843 --> 00:39:51,596 Show me something. I gotta cover my ass. 1097 00:39:54,140 --> 00:39:55,892 Thank you, Dwayne Foster. 1098 00:39:55,935 --> 00:39:58,520 What if we adopt Lip as our own? 1099 00:39:58,562 --> 00:40:00,189 Wouldn't that change everything? 1100 00:40:01,439 --> 00:40:03,274 I'll go chase the rats out of the cooler. 1101 00:40:03,317 --> 00:40:04,401 Hey, guys. 1102 00:40:06,694 --> 00:40:08,089 Dude, who the hell around here is gonna go to school 1103 00:40:08,113 --> 00:40:09,573 if the one really smart guy quits? 1104 00:40:09,614 --> 00:40:12,158 Go to school and enjoy being smarter than everyone 1105 00:40:12,201 --> 00:40:13,743 and become master of the universe. 1106 00:40:13,785 --> 00:40:14,620 I mean, fuck. 1107 00:40:14,662 --> 00:40:15,453 Well, what if I don't wanna be 1108 00:40:15,495 --> 00:40:16,413 master of the universe? 1109 00:40:16,455 --> 00:40:17,665 Tough. You gotta be 1110 00:40:17,705 --> 00:40:19,834 one of those ridiculously rich successful dudes 1111 00:40:19,875 --> 00:40:21,960 and put my kid through college someday. 1112 00:40:22,002 --> 00:40:23,337 No pressure. 1113 00:40:23,379 --> 00:40:25,339 Joking, right, about not going back to college? 1114 00:40:25,381 --> 00:40:26,464 Serious. I'm done. 1115 00:40:26,506 --> 00:40:27,758 College is a racket, huh? 1116 00:40:27,799 --> 00:40:29,259 Well, guess what. 1117 00:40:29,301 --> 00:40:30,946 There's no one better at beating the system than you. 1118 00:40:30,970 --> 00:40:32,596 Hell, man, you got them to give you 1119 00:40:32,638 --> 00:40:34,140 four fucking years for free. 1120 00:40:34,180 --> 00:40:36,183 Why don't you get your damn diploma, 1121 00:40:36,225 --> 00:40:38,768 spit in their faces, and have a fucking future? 1122 00:40:38,810 --> 00:40:40,121 You know, I'm getting pretty damn tired 1123 00:40:40,145 --> 00:40:41,623 - of everybody telling... - Stop making them have to. 1124 00:40:41,647 --> 00:40:44,066 Grow the fuck up. 1125 00:40:44,107 --> 00:40:45,567 Yeah, yeah, I mean, I told her. 1126 00:40:45,609 --> 00:40:47,111 Lip, you can't tell her that shit. 1127 00:40:47,152 --> 00:40:48,922 That's like waving the flag in front of the bull. 1128 00:40:48,946 --> 00:40:50,406 Well, hide the car keys, 1129 00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:52,741 stop showering, and you tell her nothing, 1130 00:40:52,783 --> 00:40:54,410 and whatever you do, 1131 00:40:54,451 --> 00:40:56,370 do not... Lip, 1132 00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:58,413 do not let her bone you, 1133 00:40:58,455 --> 00:41:00,248 because that oxytocin stuff 1134 00:41:00,290 --> 00:41:01,625 makes them adhesive. 1135 00:41:01,667 --> 00:41:03,544 You got it? 1136 00:41:03,585 --> 00:41:07,381 Upbeat rock music 1137 00:41:07,422 --> 00:41:08,466 Shit. 1138 00:41:08,506 --> 00:41:11,093 Jesus. 1139 00:41:11,134 --> 00:41:13,053 She's fine. Just passed out. 1140 00:41:13,095 --> 00:41:14,638 Sweet dreams, baby girl. 1141 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:16,390 Well, she's all yours. 1142 00:41:16,431 --> 00:41:17,808 We gotta get back to the bar. 1143 00:41:22,020 --> 00:41:23,564 Holy Jesus. 1144 00:41:23,605 --> 00:41:25,524 Are you okay? 1145 00:41:25,566 --> 00:41:27,567 I can't tell if you're laughing or crying. 1146 00:41:27,609 --> 00:41:29,402 I'll help you out in here. 1147 00:41:29,444 --> 00:41:31,363 You'll help me out in here. 1148 00:41:31,404 --> 00:41:32,823 You're on. 1149 00:41:32,864 --> 00:41:33,823 I brought help. 1150 00:41:33,866 --> 00:41:34,825 Everybody shovel 1151 00:41:34,866 --> 00:41:36,201 all this broken tile out. 1152 00:41:36,243 --> 00:41:37,368 Get it the hell out of here. 1153 00:41:41,873 --> 00:41:43,250 Oh, fuck off! 1154 00:41:43,292 --> 00:41:45,084 Have you examined your breasts in the shower 1155 00:41:45,127 --> 00:41:46,127 this morning, Fiona? 1156 00:41:46,169 --> 00:41:47,462 It's not just here. 1157 00:41:47,504 --> 00:41:50,049 It's here too, and under the arms here. 1158 00:41:50,089 --> 00:41:51,133 All right? 1159 00:41:54,553 --> 00:41:55,638 Last one. 1160 00:41:55,678 --> 00:41:56,971 If I had a dime for every time 1161 00:41:57,013 --> 00:41:58,765 I heard you say that... 1162 00:41:58,806 --> 00:42:00,058 I'd have exactly one dime. 1163 00:42:00,100 --> 00:42:01,352 W-Wendy! 1164 00:42:01,392 --> 00:42:02,661 - Give me the phone! - Hello? Hello? 1165 00:42:02,685 --> 00:42:03,746 You're not gonna slap me, are you? 1166 00:42:03,770 --> 00:42:05,105 No. 1167 00:42:05,147 --> 00:42:06,625 Usually, after Veronica asks me to level with her, 1168 00:42:06,649 --> 00:42:07,816 she slaps me. 1169 00:42:07,857 --> 00:42:09,127 My husband fucked my mother to get pregnant. 1170 00:42:09,151 --> 00:42:11,611 Sorry we can't all have our baby the normal way! 1171 00:42:11,654 --> 00:42:13,531 Just remember, if you're gonna sit on my face, 1172 00:42:13,571 --> 00:42:15,114 I have that sinus thing. Okay? 1173 00:42:15,156 --> 00:42:16,301 I thought that's what you ladies wanted, 1174 00:42:16,325 --> 00:42:18,243 is shared housework, wage equality, 1175 00:42:18,285 --> 00:42:19,578 and all that Hunger Games 1176 00:42:19,620 --> 00:42:21,538 Lady Gaga girl power shit. 1177 00:42:21,580 --> 00:42:22,872 Don't haggle with a woman 1178 00:42:22,915 --> 00:42:24,625 who looks this fly in a power suit. 1179 00:42:24,667 --> 00:42:26,042 Let's get those bitches tugging. 1180 00:42:26,084 --> 00:42:28,879 Here's to good old-fashioned American capitalism. 1181 00:42:28,921 --> 00:42:30,297 You can keep a man down, 1182 00:42:30,339 --> 00:42:32,966 but you can never keep him from getting it up. 1183 00:42:33,008 --> 00:42:35,051 - Yes, sir! Ow! - Mm. 1184 00:42:35,093 --> 00:42:37,053 Boom, there it is. 1185 00:42:37,096 --> 00:42:38,973 Boom, there it is. 1186 00:42:39,013 --> 00:42:40,390 Toilets? Toilets. 1187 00:42:40,431 --> 00:42:42,058 Kids drown in toilets all the time. 1188 00:42:42,100 --> 00:42:43,477 Close the lid. 1189 00:42:43,518 --> 00:42:45,562 You gotta be on it all the time. 1190 00:42:45,604 --> 00:42:48,399 I mean, what kind of person doesn't worry about this shit? 1191 00:42:48,439 --> 00:42:50,484 Fine. I will go home 1192 00:42:50,526 --> 00:42:51,944 and fuck my husband. 1193 00:42:51,986 --> 00:42:53,988 Maybe with a little more enthusiasm? 1194 00:42:55,029 --> 00:42:56,698 I'm more like a refugee who sells weed. 1195 00:42:56,739 --> 00:42:58,408 Lots of noises in the ghetto. 1196 00:42:58,450 --> 00:43:00,660 Automatic gunfire, people begging for their lives... 1197 00:43:00,703 --> 00:43:02,162 I changed your diaper, so I know 1198 00:43:02,203 --> 00:43:04,181 your little pudding pop ain't never been chocolate. 1199 00:43:04,205 --> 00:43:06,332 Four hundred years of oppression makes you Black, 1200 00:43:06,375 --> 00:43:08,502 and if you keep up with this wigger bullshit, 1201 00:43:08,544 --> 00:43:10,629 I'm gonna reverse George Zimmerman your ass. 1202 00:43:10,671 --> 00:43:11,964 They're a day old, but no mold. 1203 00:43:12,006 --> 00:43:13,381 I checked. Praise Jesus. 1204 00:43:13,424 --> 00:43:14,817 I've been dealing with toddlers all day, 1205 00:43:14,841 --> 00:43:16,551 talking ABCs, 1206 00:43:16,593 --> 00:43:18,846 telling them what sounds a cow makes. 1207 00:43:18,886 --> 00:43:21,098 It's moo, motherfucker. It's moo. 1208 00:43:21,140 --> 00:43:22,765 Is this really her aunt, 1209 00:43:22,808 --> 00:43:23,826 or are we gonna find her fucking her in our bed 1210 00:43:23,850 --> 00:43:24,977 a week from now? 1211 00:43:25,018 --> 00:43:26,328 When I started dating Kev, I was like, 1212 00:43:26,352 --> 00:43:27,812 "You're my man, I'm your girl, 1213 00:43:27,855 --> 00:43:29,040 and if you're not happy with that, 1214 00:43:29,064 --> 00:43:30,165 I'll kill you in your sleep." 1215 00:43:30,189 --> 00:43:31,274 It's true. 1216 00:43:31,317 --> 00:43:33,026 Too tired to jump up and down with me? 1217 00:43:33,067 --> 00:43:35,696 Yeah, but if it helps, this is my happy face now. 1218 00:43:35,738 --> 00:43:37,382 You're madder than a hornet in a Coke can. 1219 00:43:37,406 --> 00:43:40,658 "Well, slap my ass and call me Sally." 1220 00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:44,163 "Well, sit on my face and call me Bernard." 1221 00:43:44,203 --> 00:43:45,538 Look at you two. 1222 00:43:45,580 --> 00:43:48,667 You're like two friends from that old show... 1223 00:43:48,709 --> 00:43:50,335 Friends. 1224 00:43:50,377 --> 00:43:52,879 Nipple piercing. It's small but meaningful. 1225 00:43:52,921 --> 00:43:54,631 I would legit not say hello to you 1226 00:43:54,672 --> 00:43:55,758 if I saw you in public. 1227 00:43:55,799 --> 00:43:58,009 V! 1228 00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:01,221 V! 1229 00:44:01,263 --> 00:44:02,513 Holy shit. 1230 00:44:02,555 --> 00:44:04,183 You had sex with her, too. 1231 00:44:04,223 --> 00:44:06,477 V, that-that is... 1232 00:44:06,517 --> 00:44:07,895 really hot. 1233 00:44:07,935 --> 00:44:09,145 My husband's a slut. 1234 00:44:09,187 --> 00:44:10,480 V, that's a little harsh. 1235 00:44:10,522 --> 00:44:12,316 Kev, what the hell are you talking about? 1236 00:44:12,357 --> 00:44:13,442 God damn it, V. 1237 00:44:13,484 --> 00:44:14,609 Love you, Kev. 1238 00:44:14,651 --> 00:44:16,277 Marriage is a sacred institution. 1239 00:44:16,319 --> 00:44:17,321 Did she go down on you? 1240 00:44:17,363 --> 00:44:18,613 Yes! 1241 00:44:18,656 --> 00:44:20,049 Did she do that thing with her tongue? 1242 00:44:20,073 --> 00:44:21,491 Yes. 1243 00:44:21,533 --> 00:44:22,533 Did you come a lot? 1244 00:44:22,576 --> 00:44:23,701 - Kev... - Right. 1245 00:44:23,743 --> 00:44:24,995 You two just... 1246 00:44:25,037 --> 00:44:27,163 lick each other like cats all day while I'm gone. 1247 00:44:27,205 --> 00:44:28,873 The guy offered me $4,000 1248 00:44:28,915 --> 00:44:30,000 for an hour with you. 1249 00:44:30,042 --> 00:44:31,000 Mm. 1250 00:44:31,042 --> 00:44:32,169 He thinks I'm a whore? 1251 00:44:32,210 --> 00:44:33,169 - Of course. - No. 1252 00:44:33,212 --> 00:44:34,355 It's just a misunderstanding, V. 1253 00:44:34,379 --> 00:44:35,881 That's all. 1254 00:44:38,133 --> 00:44:41,178 Kev, can you come up for a sec? 1255 00:44:52,605 --> 00:44:54,857 V, look how hard I am for you. 1256 00:44:54,899 --> 00:44:56,109 You Kevin Ball? 1257 00:44:56,151 --> 00:44:57,319 You a health inspector? 1258 00:44:57,361 --> 00:44:58,486 Uh, no. 1259 00:44:58,529 --> 00:45:00,029 Jehovah's Witness? 1260 00:45:00,071 --> 00:45:01,614 - No. - IRS? 1261 00:45:01,656 --> 00:45:02,741 No. 1262 00:45:02,783 --> 00:45:04,410 Then yes, I'm Kevin Ball. 1263 00:45:08,413 --> 00:45:09,997 Kev. 1264 00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:11,375 Uh, what? 1265 00:45:11,417 --> 00:45:12,375 V? V! 1266 00:45:12,417 --> 00:45:14,085 V, your mom's here. 1267 00:45:14,127 --> 00:45:15,837 V, don't start that shit. 1268 00:45:15,879 --> 00:45:16,964 - Kevin... - V! 1269 00:45:17,004 --> 00:45:18,549 - Kevin Ball. - V! 1270 00:45:18,589 --> 00:45:19,692 No, I'm done. No more breastfeeding. 1271 00:45:19,716 --> 00:45:21,051 Kev, wake up. 1272 00:45:21,093 --> 00:45:22,428 V, we're doing it, baby. 1273 00:45:28,517 --> 00:45:30,143 V, we gotta talk. 1274 00:45:30,185 --> 00:45:31,895 Kevin? Kevin? 1275 00:45:31,937 --> 00:45:33,312 Kevin? Kevin! 1276 00:45:33,355 --> 00:45:35,107 Kevin Ball, get your ass down here. 1277 00:45:38,109 --> 00:45:39,402 What the fuck, V? 1278 00:45:39,444 --> 00:45:40,946 Kev, please stop talking. 1279 00:45:40,988 --> 00:45:42,613 Snookums... 1280 00:45:42,656 --> 00:45:44,007 Kev, come on. We're gonna be late. 1281 00:45:44,031 --> 00:45:45,408 Kevin Ball, 1282 00:45:45,451 --> 00:45:47,243 get your ass out here right now 1283 00:45:47,285 --> 00:45:49,163 before I Lorena Bobbitt you myself. 1284 00:45:53,207 --> 00:45:55,334 Kev, no one needs to know about our sex life. 1285 00:45:55,377 --> 00:45:56,669 - Uh... - Kev? 1286 00:45:56,712 --> 00:45:58,464 Kev? Kevin? 1287 00:45:58,504 --> 00:45:59,506 - Kevin. - Mm. 1288 00:45:59,547 --> 00:46:01,008 - V? - Kev! 1289 00:46:01,049 --> 00:46:02,384 I'm coming. 1290 00:46:02,426 --> 00:46:03,384 - Kev! - Shh. 1291 00:46:03,426 --> 00:46:05,178 - Come on. - Let me have this. 1292 00:46:05,220 --> 00:46:06,388 - Kev? - Yeah? 1293 00:46:06,430 --> 00:46:08,556 Kev? 1294 00:46:08,598 --> 00:46:10,225 Kevin. 1295 00:46:10,267 --> 00:46:11,893 Hey, hey, hey. 1296 00:46:13,979 --> 00:46:15,355 V. 86775

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