All language subtitles for Schitt s Creek - 2x12 - Lawn Signs.HDTV.KILLERS.en

- John!
- Oh, I was starting to think...

I've been hijacked.

- What?
- My campaign has been hijacked.

Oh, I need some tea. Twyla?

What's going on?

- Tea?
- No thank you.

Ugh! My campaign signs
have gone missing.

- What?
- You had election signs?

- Yes! All of them! Gone!
- Wow.

Maybe people were mowing their lawns.

Well, it's probably just kids.

What if there's a more
sinister explanation?

Oh, like the wind.

I was wondering if there's
someone who's thinking,

"Oh, this woman may not have many signs,

but she has myriad
qualities worth voting for.

I must stop her!"

So you think the signs were stolen?

Stolen? Ew!

Is that what you think happened?

Well, isn't that what you were implying?

- Who would do that?
- Well, I don't know. It's dirty pool.

You can't sabotage someone's campaign

and take their signs.

Please, please, everyone calm down!

Well, I suppose if there's
a silver lining in all this,

it's that...

Someone is imitated enough into thinking

that I might be affecting this town's

long-established voting patterns.

-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

Oh good. Good.

Now the playing field is more fair.

Yeah, I was worried Jocelyn
didn't have enough signs up.

Ah. You and me both, pal,

but, luckily, I'm a step ahead of ya.

Okay, enough with the signs, Roland.

It was overkill a week ago.

Well, I don't know about you, Johnny,

but I would like my little
lady to win this campaign.

Oh! Well, funny you should mention,

because my little lady had all
of her lawn signs disappear.

Oh. Moira had lawn signs?

She had a few.

Now she has none.

Wait. Are you saying
that I... had something...

- I'm not pointing any fingers,
- Uh-huh.

But if I find out you had
anything to do with this,

even though you're
acting like you don't...

Well, if I find out
that you're accusing me

of doing something I didn't do,

then I'm going to accuse you
of making false accusations.

Fine. But if you're
denying doing something

you might have done

and making me feel guilty...

For accusing you of something
you claim you didn't do...

Ooh, is that a threat?

I think so.

Because I don't wanna tell
you how I respond to threats.

And I don't wanna tell you how I respond

to illegal political activity.

Okay, fine, then don't.

Fine, I won't.

Maybe.

Oh dear God. Yes.

Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.

Well then, take it out
of my savings account.

Well, what about the air miles?

Can you put some of them
towards the electricity bill?

Okay, this signage,
is not really on brand.

It's not ridiculous.

Well, I'm not having
this conversation either.

Is everything okay?

David, to be honest,

I'm having a little trouble financially

and I'm gonna have to let you go.

- What?
- It seems I have overshot my budget

with the changes you've
been implementing.

Which is not your fault.

You were my mistake, which
I take full credit for.

Okay, I thought you were liking

the changes I was making.

We just sold another poncho yesterday.

I still can't believe we even sold one.

But that's not gonna help me
when I am down to a Costco card

and a zoo membership.

Okay. Well, is there anything I can do?

No, you've done enough already.

Fortunately, I did
gotten some good news.

Apparently there is a
Blouse Barn in Australia

and they are gonna pay
me to use their name here.

Can you believe it?

That there's another store
called Blouse Barn? No.

No, it's an entire chain.

They're expanding into North America

and they are gonna pay me $10,000

just to cover the costs
of renaming the store.

Okay, so they're buying
the name from you?

Well, it's more of a gesture actually.

Apparently, I have been using
the name without their permission.

Okay, so this company is giving
you $10,000 as a gesture...

And to think I almost called
this place "Blouse House."

Something seems really
sketchy about this

and I'm not just saying that

because I have a hard
time with Australians.

- Lotta drunks.
- Well, it's already happening.

They're coming in this week,

they're bringing the paperwork...

As your brand manager,

I feel like I need
to be at that meeting.

I don't know...

At least let me talk to a
few people before you decide.

If there's one thing I've
learned from "The Good Wife",

it's never accept a first offer.

- I... I'm gonna just... do that.
- Oh.

- I have a question.
- Yes, your cologne is too strong.

Okay, I just put it on

and it needs to breathe a bit, so...

I... came in here to ask

whether you knew anything
about trademarking store names?

Yeah. We had to deal with that

from time to time at Rose Video.

Uh-huh. And did anyone ever
ask you to stop using the name?

No, but we went after
other people for using it.

I remember a-a "Rosie's Video"
in Sao Paolo.

That was a fun shakedown.

Mm-hmm. Okay, well, say
you owned Blouse Barn.

Well, first of all, I'd never
get into the clothing business

'cause the margins are terrible...

Okay, let's pretend for a sec.

And someone was offering you
$10,000 to stop using the name

because there's another
Blouse Barn in Australia

and they need the name.

$10,000 to stop using
the name "Blouse Barn?"

- That's correct.
- I would take that in a second.

It's a terrible name.

- Okay, but that's not...
- Now at least with "Rose Video,"

it said what it was,

and the logo looked
great on a golf shirt.

Yeah, I'm just thinking
if it's a big chain

and they want the name,

surely you should be
able to get more for it.

Yeah, but is worth going
to court to fight it?

Oh, I don't think Wendy can afford that.

She can't even afford me anymore, so...

Wait a minute. You were fired?

Technically, I would say

I'm in a transition phase at the moment.

This is terrible news.

I thought you were
turning that store around.

All those big purchases,
all that spending...

Okay, let's just focus
on the big picture,

which is helping the store.

Well, if you wanna help the store,

I would tell your boss to take the deal.

And then you and I are gonna
sit down, update your resume,

and get you back into the workforce.

Okay. Well, thank you so much for this.

Um, it was entirely unhelpful,
but thank you nevertheless.

Well... anytime, son.

Oh, it's just so violating.

How can one sleep knowing our
streets are laden with thieves?

Well, I don't know about laden.

I had a newspaper stolen once.

Two days ago, we had
someone break our window.

They didn't take anything,

but they left a dead bird inside.

That's kind of like my aunt.

She has a ghost in her house that
keeps leaving dimes everywhere.

Look what's happened to us.

These sign bandits have clearly
created a culture of fear.

If it helps at all, I'd be happy

to put one of your signs on my lawn.

Th-that is if Jocelyn doesn't mind.

Oh no, I'd put one on my lawn

if I wasn't worried about winning.

I hope you know that I don't
stand for dirty politics, Moira.

Oh no, you mustn't beat yourself up.

You have your own signs to worry about.

All two hundred of them.

Well... we're here to sing,
aren't we? So... let's sing!

Well said! Let us
focus on tomorrow's show

and not fan the flames of
this provocative scandal

any more than is necessary.

Sing ladies... if you can.

Let's do this.

Hey.

What're you shopping for?

I'm not shopping.

Okay, well, I'm seeing
a lot of women's tops,

so if there's a minimum
amount for free shipping

can let me know before you order?

Okay, yeah, no, I'm... I'm
actually doing work, so.

Mm... Dad said that you got fired.

I wasn't fired.

I'm... actually working so
that I can stay employed.

I have a big meeting with some lawyers

and I'm trying to make sure

they're not taking advantage of Wendy.

Poor thing is a hot mess.

Okay, I just really think you
should stay out of it, David.

You're not good under pressure.

- And you are?
- Um, I'm sorry. Were you picked up

by the South Korean Secret
Police on New Year's?

I had to sweet talk
the consulate's lawyer

to get me a passport before midnight.

Okay, well this is a very
different situation from that

and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be fine.

Did you or did you not have
a subscription to Cosmo Girl

when you were 16 years old, David?

No.

Okay, David, if you have
to lie about something

you should breathe out while you answer

'cause it really just calms you down.

Oh my God! I'm not being interrogated.

This is a negotiation.

I'm just trying to prepare you, okay?

'Cause they're gonna
eat you alive in there.

Okay. If you know so much about this,

why don't you come with me then?

Okay, well, I guess that just depends

on what's in Mom's closet.

Why does that matter?

Well, I'm not gonna wear my own clothes

into the room, David.

They're not scary enough.

I know that we just met but if
Prince Harry trusted me with his life,

then I think you can too.

Well, I do feel better
having a lawyer in the room.

Oh my God, you're so cute.

Um, I'm not a lawyer,

but I'm glad that my
fashion pony is working.

Oh, hi. I'm Wendy Kurtz.
Welcome to the Blouse Barn.

Lisa Chung.

I didn't realize there
were gonna be more of us.

We're her representation.

David Rose.

Angelica Bloomfield of Rose,
Bloomfield and Glickman.

Well, let's go to my office shall we?

- Oh, Mr. Rose!
- Oh, hi Stevie.

I found these. I thought
Mrs. Rose might want 'em back.

You found them?

Okay, look, I know we haven't
always been ideal motel guests,

but taking my wife's signs?

Ah, no, I took out your garbage,

and these poked a hole in
the bottom and fell out.

So... they're still
in pretty good shape,

I thought she might want them back.

Oh...

Since she's been so
worried about her signs

having been mysteriously stolen.

Right, right.

Well, I mean, I can see
what must have happened here.

She accidentally, uh, threw them out.

That's one theory.

Or... someone stole them
and hid them in our garbage

to try and sabotage Moira...

to make it look like she's
done something... really crazy.

That is definitely
some food for thought.

- Yeah.
- Mm.

Well, thank you,
Stevie. Have a nice day.

Thanks. I will.

This shouldn't take long. The check.

This should cover the cost of
the signs, business cards...

About the check.

We had some questions about the amount.

Well, you shouldn't.

$10,000 is the amount we agreed upon.

Well, that may be,

but some things have
changed on our side,

and we want to discuss the...

I think it's fine, David.

From a legal standpoint,

there are lots of costs to consider.

- Mm-hmm. - There are the
signs and the business cards...

I just mentioned those.

Objection sustained.

There is the travel,
there are the meals,

there is the shipping
and the catering...

Which is very similar to the meals

and not necessarily relevant, so...

'Kay. Well, the $10,000 doesn't
even cover our legal fees, so...

- What?
- Don't worry about that.

And if we're gonna announce a new name,

there has to be a whole relaunch event,

and that involves... Event planners

and, um, florists.

Okay, I think what my
colleague is trying to say,

is that our brand is very
well established here,

um, so we're going to
require a higher compensation.

No, it's... ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh. Ooh...

No! No, no, Gwen, you
took the lower third.

Well, could you please then?
I've already locked mine in.

Thanks, doll.

Moira, do you have any idea

how Stevie found your
campaign signs in our garbage?

I don't think anyone can hear us, John.

You don't have to keep up the act.

- What act?
- That you didn't know I took the signs.

You took your signs?

I didn't know you took the signs.

Why would you take your own signs?

Well, I couldn't very
well take Jocelyn's.

That would be stealing

and I'm running a clean campaign.

You call this a clean campaign?

Politics 101, John.

When you have limited resources,

your best course of
action is to create a stir.

It's exciting, it's fun.

It's like that episode of Sunrise Bay

when I stole my own baby.

Moira, Sunrise Bay was a soap opera.

Yes, and this is reality.

Frankly, John, I'm
surprised at your naivety.

Moira, you're misleading people!

No, I'm building a mystery.

Voters will draw their own conclusions.

I basically accused Roland

of stealing your campaign signs.

Well, then hopefully
you've learned something -

you shouldn't make accusations
you can't substantiate.

- Moira...
- I'm not listening until you calm down.

Okay, well, Blouse Barn Australia

is willing to offer you
an additional $5,000.

- Oh my God.
- Thank you.

So if you'll just sign
here, I think we're good.

I don't think we are.

I have done some research
and I happen to know

that your company pulled
in $100 million last year.

Point being?

Well, the point is, judging
by your bag and those shoes,

Blouse Barn Australia is paying you

quite a bit of money to come here

and help us "switch over our signs."

Bottom line, we're standing in your way

and I don't think your
client will be very happy

if you come home without
securing the rights to the name,

especially considering you're expanding

into 78 stores across North America.

And let's be honest,

"Blouse House" doesn't have
quite the same ring to it.

- Exactly!
- Angelica, please.

This is the number that we are after.

Now, if you'll excuse us,

we have another meeting to get to.

We're in our store.

We await your reply.

Moira, I felt bad about
what happened to your signs

and so I had some of my
students make these for you.

Jocelyn!

They're not as nice as the
black and white ones you had,

but I thought that they might help.

Very considerate.

Though there's something you
and I still need to discuss.

The signs.

We both know that, in a heated campaign,

one might use whatever resources one has

- to gain advantage.
- Yes.

Jocelyn, you have so many signs!

I know. Roland got carried away

and used his mayoral power

to get people to put
more signs on their lawns.

And I just... pretended
it wasn't happening.

Roland forced constituents

to put up signs through coercion?

That's what we're talking about, right?

Mm-hmm,
mm-hmm, yeah.

I just was helping
you explain, so you...

Because you seem so upset by it all.

I am upset.

I don't like what this
campaign is doing to me.

The other day, I called
another driver an effing moron.

I didn't say the 'f' word,
but I said, 'effing, '

and that is not me!

Jocelyn, I don't think
it's exactly unethical

to do questionable things
in the spirit of competition.

I'm dropping out of the campaign.

- What?
- I'm barely sleeping,

I can't get through an episode

of "Masterchef Junior" without crying.

We've both worked so hard for this.

I know, and now I am giving it to you.

Congratulations, Moira.

You are the new councilor for
the town of Schitt's Creek.

David, come on in!

Here, have a seat.

Lisa got back to me.
She dropped off a check.

It's a big check, David.

Oh, thank God!

It's a bit check!

Oh...

Um, you don't mean one of those
big lottery checks, right?

- No.
- Okay.

But you pulled it off!

Um, thank you for trusting me.

Well, I wouldn't go that far.

Okay. Um... I guess we
should get back to work.

I love your enthusiasm,

but I think I'm going to take some time

for my family, for me,

and close the store.

Oh, okay.

But I appreciate all you've done,

and I want you to have
this, you and Alexis.

Well, Alexis didn't do that much.

Oh, oh my God.

And I hope this helps
get you on your feet.

And do something
interesting. You always do.

I... can't accept this.

- Moira!
- John.

I'm so excited to see the show.

I'm going to be on council.

We'll, that's the
spirit. Positive thinking.

I won! Jocelyn quit the election.

What?

She couldn't take it anymore.

Well, think what you
can do in four years.

Four years? No, no one said
anything about four years.

And-and the thought of
working with Roland every day.

I mean, that's...

I wouldn't even think about that.

Oh, John. What have I done?

- ♪ 'Cuz tonight for the first time ♪
- ♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

- ♪ Just about half past ten ♪
- ♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

- ♪ For the first time in history
- ♪ Ahhhh ♪

- ♪ it's gonna be raining men ♪
- ♪ dada-da-da-da-da-da-da bop! ♪

So...

$40,000?!

Oh, that's a lot of money.

Wow! Even divided
amongst the four of us.

Divided? I'm the one who
negotiated all of this.

Um, with my help, David.

I believe I offered advice.

You said Wendy should cave
and take the first offer.

What you gave was the
opposite of advice.

Okay, stop. This is good.

This is the first real
money we've seen in a year.

'Kay, I think we definitely
need to celebrate.

Nothing big, just a little treat...

Like a trip.

Okay. I can't believe that
I'm the one to say this,

but um... shouldn't we be s...

Shouldn't we
be s-s-s...

Should we be... Trying
to sa... save this?

Isn't... Shouldn't we be saving...

Putting this in a bank?

Isn't that what people do?

Well, that's no fun.

No... but probably best?

Maybe we could do manicures.

I could a manicure. The
three of us should go.

- Yes!
- Long overdue.

- Yeah, that's a good idea.
- Yay!

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Just 'cause I do my own nails

doesn't mean, you know, I wouldn't go...

'Kay, they're just expensive

and you wouldn't really appreciate them.

Oh yay, David! Yay!

-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --