All language subtitles for In Treatment.S04E02.eng

He doesn't like to admit he's hurting.

I want to see him succeed.

I want to see him pull through this
and get back on his feet.

What are the obstacles
to that happening?

He's had emotional outbursts,
impulse control problems,

depression, threats of violence.

- God, Karla, come on.
- The facts are the facts.

There was one significant
physical altercation.

Do you want to tell her about that?

That's okay.

What we need to know is, what now?

Is he a danger to himself?
Can he be left to care for himself.

- Or does he need additional assistance?
- And it's four sessions.

Court-mandated four sessions, one of
several conditions of Colin's release.

If he fails to meet any
of the requirements of his probation,

your sign-off included,
it would be revoked.

But we're not going to let that happen,
right?

Here is the proof of vaccination
paperwork that you requested.

I'll be checking in each week
to see how everything's going.

But Colin is incentivized to apply
himself, so fingers crossed, yeah?

Every day it's stacks of cases.
Completely crazy.

All these extra people,
but they don't hire any more of us.

That's life, I guess.

Call me when you're done, and we'll see
each other tomorrow morning.

Bye.

in TREATMENT

COLIN
Week One

I'm happy to be here, happy to be out.

Thank God for COVID, right?
Not really, of course.

And you know,
I didn't kill anybody or anything.

Anyway.

Basically, I just want to get back
on the right track.

Figure my life out, cause I...
You'll excuse my language?

No. Go ahead.

I fucked it up.
So I'm grateful for this opportunity.

And just so we're clear, never violent,
never anything like that.

I'm not a danger to anyone. I don't
know what Karla was talking about.

It's heat-of-the-moment,
I'll eff-ing kill you, but never...

It's one thing if you're shouting
that at a vulnerable person,

it's another if you're shouting it
at a prison guard

standing behind three inches
of plexiglass, being a sadistic fuck.

Sorry.

I'm like the most pacifist,

not just in my personal life
but as applies to the world.

And the physical altercation?

Again, that makes it sound like
I was scrapping in the yard. No.

No.

I got my fucking ass kicked by a psycho
for no other reason than I looked to him

like a person
whose ass it might be amusing to kick.

I'm Mister Peace on Earth.

I was raised by hippies, full stop,
a commune, the whole bit.

And that outlook that openness,
trust, compassion?

That's steered me throughout my life.
Bit of a wanderer.

Eventually, I found my way into
the tech-world. The rest is history.

Great. That's a great place to start.

And how's the probation process
going so far?

Good. Yeah.

And therapy, just so I'm all about it.

I've done some form of therapy
most of my life, seriously.

So there's no resistance
or apprehension on my part.

I find it bizarre that there's
any taboo around it.

It's so not my upbringing. It's fu...

Can I just...
I want to use some words in here,

but I don't want to offend you, but I
also don't want to interrupt myself

every time I'm compelled to say fuck.

Please, whatever language
you feel comfortable with,

I'm not easily offended.

That's fucking fantastic.

What was I saying.

Yeah, it's fucking crazy that people
are still so averse to therapy,

to self-exploration,
to uncovering truth.

I'm glad you like therapy.
It should make my job easier.

I love it. I need it...
after what I've been through.

So let's roll up our sleeves,
get into it.

- Okay. Sounds fun.
- It should be. Why not, right?

The thing is, I'm not patting myself
on the back when I say this,

it's just a true thing about me,

I'm open. I always have been.

I imagine some patients it probably
takes them weeks to warm up.

I don't know. I feel like most people
walk in here ready to talk.

Come here for a reason.

Yeah, but ready to talk and able
to talk... two different things.

That's true, and you seem very
comfortable communicating.

Thank you. Anything, I talk too much.

It's probably gotten me into some
of this trouble, frankly.

- Is that how you see it?
- What?

The situation you found yourself in,
prison,

that it was related to your loose
communication style?

Yeah. I don't know. Sure, a little bit.
It's an interesting question.

- Certain ways, I guess.
- Which ways?

I'm sorry. You know what?
I just... I keep taking in your house.

This was built
in the late 60s, right?

- Good eye.
- I'm kind of an architecture buff.

What does your husband do?

I'm not married.

Yeah, driving up here, there were
a bunch of these great little houses.

This place is very nice.

- So it's not all pro bono, then.
- Oh, no. You're my first, actually.

No shit? That's great. Cause I've never
gotten free therapy before.

We can figure this out together.

So, wait, you're,
like, a shit-hot therapist then.

I do all right, but you know what
we're not here to talk about...

I know. Of course.

That's the thing though.
See, I want to talk about you.

And why do you think that is?

Not exclusively, but I do want us
to get to know each other, like really.

Beyond the quarter-inch file
of glaring omissions

and mischaracterization.

Why don't you start
by filling in the gaps.

Sure. I was born in Santa Cruz.

Parents, like I said, they were hippies.
The real deal.

Weren't playing dress-up,
they were living the life.

Moved to Santa Monica
when I was ten for my parents' business.

Health food, where better, right?

Spent high school bumming around
L.A., Venice,

skipping class, get high on the beach.

It was a different city back then.

There was a porn theater
on Second Street, did you know that?

Downtown Santa Monica.
Now it's an adorable something or other.

How does that kind of change affect you?

It doesn't. Not really.
Things change.

As a guy who stepped out
of the world for four years

I can say with some authority,
things change.

It's all good.
I'm just painting a picture.

I wasn't running around going
to Sugarfish or Pinkberry

when I was in high school.

It was down and dirty,
syringes-in-the-sand type shit.

Picture painted.

This area? Fuck! It's great
that it's finally turning around.

It was treacherous
back in the 90s.

This area's always been nice.
I grew up here.

No, you're just surrounded.
You got Inglewood just down the hill.

I guess Black people aren't as scary
when you are also a Black person.

- No, no, no. I meant, Black, White...
- I'm messing with you, Colin.

My dad designed
some of the houses in the area.

- Wild. So your dad is an architect?
- Yes.

He was, he passed.

Sorry. How nice that he left
something behind, though,

that, you know, made his mark.
Especially his...

- It's nice.
- Yes.

And now you know a little about me,
and I know a little about you.

So, now you want to talk about what,
my dramatic emotional breakdown?

It makes sense. Juicy.

Something to sink your teeth into,
psychologically speaking.

But I'm just afraid
you're going to be disappointed.

- Why would I be disappointed?
- Just isn't that much there.

It sounds like a significant event.

It was a bad day. My life ended.
I lost everything.

I couldn't fucking take it.

I reached a breaking point.
Guess what? I broke.

See? I told you, it's not juicy.
It's dull, dry, and simple.

The file says
you were put in segregation.

That's pro forma prison shit.

Those people, they're not the most
astute observers of the human condition.

It's the D.M.V. with Billy-clubs.

God, I'm not a crazy person.
I'm happy, I'm sunny, I...

Forgive me, I light up a room.
I fucking do.

So, if you want to get into my grief,
my pain, it's just not there.

I have problems, Lord knows.
I obliterated my entire existence.

No aspect of my life was left un-fucked.

But depression, anything like that,
that's just... it's just a dead end.

Okay.

No aspect of my life was left un-fucked?

You have a way with words.

Yeah. Crochet that on a pillow,
you'd make some good money.

- Let's talk about that then.
- What, our pillow business?

The way you upended your life.

You've read the file.

Come on!
You said it was full of omissions.

Correct the record.

I overstated some things
to secure investments.

Wire fraud, that was the headline.
Five years, told I'd serve one.

They kept on tacking on time
for behavior bullshit.

I ended up serving four.
What can I say?

A whole justice system, it's a...
I don't have to tell you. It's a joke.

No, worse. It's a crime.

Look, so you know,
George Floyd, Black Lives...

I would've been the first person out on
those fucking streets.

I get so enraged at the injustice,
it absolutely breaks my heart.

Sorry, tangent.
I'm very passionate about it.

- The justice system?
- Right. Yeah.

Yeah, particularly where it pertains
to corporate crime, or whatever.

The business world,
it plays by a different set of rules

that these people don't understand,

because if they did understand it,
they'd be a part of it.

Instead of sweating through shitty suits
in filthy courtrooms all day long.

Jesus, I made a mistake,
a careless clerical error.

You misplace a decimal point and
suddenly you're a criminal mastermind.

So, let's put this guy with a name
we've heard of in prison,

and trumpet our impressive track record
of holding big business accountable.

Meanwhile, exactly zero people's lives
are improved by my arrest.

I'm not Al Capone.
And every single one of these assholes,

they all think they're Eliot Ness,
crime busters.

Only there's barely a crime,
and no one's hiding anything,

but they're all these fucking...

I swear to God, the names of the
Federal agents who were on my case,

sounds like a list of
South Boston dive bars.

My life was great, and then here comes
Mickey O'Shaughnessy,

stupid but driven to take a big steaming
dump on my existence.

It's fucking insane.

The point is, they don't understand
the world, especially the tech-world.

I guarantee you none of these assholes
could fucking network a printer,

much less wrap their heads around
the shit I was working on.

- So, you were innocent?
- No.

No, not of what they were saying,
but what is a crime, and what isn't?

Fraud is a crime.

Can we talk about that instinct of
yours, to minimize, downplay, dimmish?

You did it with the prison time, the
breakdown, the crimes themselves.

You are trying to evade me.
I don't know if you realize that.

Maybe it's a behavior you learned
after being accused of a crime.

Maybe it's been around longer than that.

Where'd you go?

Sorry. No, you're right.

I was just thinking you're good.
I hadn't anticipated that.

Usually court-appointed,
not exactly the mark of high-quality.

Is it deliberate, your evasiveness?

No, I like to talk.
I like to learn about people.

You mentioned earlier
your communication style

might've contributed to some
of your problems.

I like to give people good news.

Sometimes what you think is going
to happen doesn't.

- Which is a crime, apparently.
- That sounds like another dismissal.

Jesus. It's a defensive stance,
I suppose.

Maybe after getting thrown
into a box for four years,

having everyone
in my life abandon me.

Maybe I've developed some trust issues.

Or maybe you're just not asking
the right questions.

I don't think there are right questions,
or wrong questions per se,

or right answers for that matter.

What? So it's just a random exchange
of words with little consequence.

It's a process, not a puzzle.
I'm not trying to pick a lock.

It's difficult to quantify a process.
What's a process worth?

It's free for you.

Is it? Cause the government
seized all my assets.

This is all I got in return,
four sessions with you.

So, I'm giving you the only things of
value I have left: my time, my energy.

And I would like for this time
not to be wasted.

Then, by all means, ask away.

What did you have for lunch today?

Why the fuck do you want to know
what I had for lunch today?

I don't think the questions
are the problem.

Good one.

Why does it bother you
to open up to me?

- I'm not bothered.
- But you are reluctant to share.

Cause I've been fucking pummeled
every time I've opened my mouth

for the past four years.
Today being no exception.

I mean, I say, "I'm piece of shit",
and I just hear back,

"No, no, you're a colossal
piece of shit."

I try to defend myself, it's even worse.

I tell you the truth,
it's not enough truth.

I... Or it's not the truth
you're looking for.

See, I don't know what you're
looking for. I'm not a mind reader.

I'm not looking for any one answer.
I'm looking for honesty.

Unless it's something
that you don't want to hear.

No, I want you to feel safe in this
room. I'm not judging you.

I am going to be honest about
what I'm seeing and hearing.

And what I am hearing right now is a lot
of avoidance of difficult subjects.

See, you want me to feel safe,
but I'm not safe.

I can't be myself. Because try
as you might, despite your best,

very most professional of intentions,
you are judging me.

If I were to refer to a woman as a cunt,
that be all right?

I'd prefer if you didn't.

When I'm with my buddies,
I say the word, cunt, they know me.

They hear it as I intend it.
They know I'm not a misogynist.

The furthest thing from it.

Simply an economical way of expressing
that the person to whom I am referring

is not at all a good person. They are
a vicious person, a cruel person.

They're a cunt. Prosecutor was a cunt.
The judge was a cunt.

But see, I can't say that in here
because you hear it a different way.

So, I have to police myself.
Yes or no?

There's nothing wrong with being
considerate of folks around you.

I'm just using a crude example
to explain a broader point.

Would it be helpful
if I explained to you

why that particular word
feels very violent to me?

No. God, if... I get it.

It sounds like you feel constrained.
Not just by this arrangement.

I am! The whole fucking world's
constrained!

Imprisonment is literal,
physical constraint.

- That frustration doesn't feel related?
- Yes, sure.

- No. No. No, no, no. Really?
- Yes! All right? Yes!

Jesus.

Yes.

What's it been like for you
since you'd gotten out?

- Uneventful.
- Where are you staying?

Crashing at a buddy's place. Venice.
He's got a back house thing.

I've seen some people, most really
aren't receptive to reconnecting.

And how are things going
with your friend?

Good. Fine. He's very laid back.
He's an actor, you'd know him.

He's got this new wife,
who I'd never met,

they got together while I was still...
I'm not sure she likes me.

She's cute, though. Good God,
these women, this whole area.

Yeah, after four years in prison,

walking through Venice is fucking
torture. I feel like a pervert.

What do you mean?

Like I'm gonna pull my cock out

and start jerking off
in the middle of brunch.

- You wouldn't do that.
- No. No, I wouldn't fucking do that.

Those fancy brunch places
frown upon that sort of thing.

Yeah.

How does it feel when some folks
aren't receptive to reconnecting?

Sad.

What about making new friends?

There's support groups, online
communities for former prisoners.

Human connection is important.

What about getting back out there,
meeting someone?

I did pretty well in my younger days.

I got a lot of material stored up to
keep me company on those lonely nights.

I fucked a lot of therapists, too.
You know?

It's a weird thing. My whole life,
I'd meet a girl, we hit it off.

What do you do?
I'm a therapist.

Over and over and over.
They were always the wildest, too.

What about you?
Have you ever fucked a patient?

- What are you doing?
- Sharing.

I could try to navigate this exchange
in some professional way,

but I think it's best
we put our cards on the table.

Wait, you asking me out?

I think you're trying
to push my buttons.

And did I? Did I push your buttons?
Cause I'm told I have a certain knack.

This isn't a game.
This is my job,

and I take it seriously, and I would
like for you to take it seriously, too.

Yes. That's right, the work. It's very
important. You're a doctor after all.

If there was an insult in there,
I think I missed it.

I once had a therapist,
a licensed therapist,

same certificates
you've got around here somewhere.

She told me to whisper my resentments
into the hollow of a tree

and then fill the tree with mud.

- Did it work?
- These are your colleagues.

This is the work you need to safeguard
against the scourge of irreverence.

Why can't you bear
to be sincere with me?

- Sincerely? Fuck you!
- There we go! Now that's something.

It's hostility,
but at least it's genuine.

You did it, Doc. You broke through.

No, you sat here with
a Probation Officer

who said you lacked impulse control,
you were emotionally unstable,

self-destructive, and you understand
your literal freedom is on the line.

Still, you couldn't make it one hour
without telling me to go fuck myself,

that my job was a joke, intimating at
some sexual potential between us,

and you were worried
that I would be disappointed?

Colin, there is plenty for me
to work with here.

The only question
is whether you are up to it.

The sooner we have that answer,
the better.

The court is expecting a determination
after four sessions.

But if you are going to fuck off
all the time,

I am happy to say right now
that you are beyond help.

Maybe I just don't like you.
You know, what?

What, you're going to send me
back to prison because I don't like you?

You're not a judge. You're not a warden.

Let me guess, I'm a cunt.

You're a wounded bird in Baldwin Hills,
sheltered in a house your father built.

I will not sign a paper
that I do not believe.

I will not tell a court that you are
well when you are not, and Colin...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
that's not what I...

I'm sorry I said those things.

I didn't mean...

I've been under a lot of stress.
It's a very weird time.

I'm... It's nothing personal.

I suppose you'd say I'm minimizing,
or dismissing, and maybe I am.

I don't know. I just...

I really didn't mean for it
to go this way.

Okay.

Okay.

That's our time.

See you next week, yeah?

Great.

Subtitling
FAST TITLES MEDIA