All language subtitles for Sex.and.the.City.S02E06.The.Cheating.Curve.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb-NHI

They say that most
New Yorkers will attend
the opening of an envelope

as long as the champagne
doesn't run dry.

But tonight's opening at
Charlotte's gallery for Yael,

a lesbian painter
from Brooklyn Heights,

actually transcended
the bad wine,
stale cheese routine.

It was lesbian chic
meets art world cool.

A surprisingly
fabulous combustion

that no one saw coming.

Charlotte was there
with her latest flame,

Gareth Davis,

toxic bachelor
and the owner of Thorn,

a downtown restaurant
frequented by
second-tier models

and the men
who buy them salad.

Miranda brought
Ethan Watson,

A documentary filmmaker
whom she had met
the week before

at a sparsely attended
Harvard alumni mixer.

And my date for the evening
was Samantha,

not entirely inappropriate
given the circumstances.

Here.

Nobody told me
it was B-Y-O man.

Well, what did you expect?
It's a lesbian art show.

I know but don't straight guys
usually follow them around

to see what
they're going to do?

Wait a second.

You see that guy?

Who?
-I know him.

Who is he?

He's a trainer at my gym.

And you should see
his squat thrusts.

I'm just
gonna say hello.

You know what, honey?
I think I'm--
I think I'm gonna go home.

Well, relax, I'll be
right back.

You know what? I really don't--
I don't feel very well.

What's wrong?

I just have a headache,
it just hit me.

You want
a Percodan?

No, no, I'm fine, I'm fine,
I just need some sleep.

Go ahead,
make new friends.

I'll call you.

Okay.

With Samantha,
Miranda and Charlotte
all suitably occupied,

I figured there was no
better time to make my escape.

The truth was
I had another engagement.

But I didn't dare
tell any of my friends

where I was going.

Or who I was
planning to meet.

Wow.

You look sensational.

You don't look
so bad yourself.

Oh, this old thing?

I've had it for years.

Sure, I knew it was wrong,

seeing an emotionally
unavailable man

I had sworn off
months earlier.

But the guilt worked
like an aphrodisiac.

I had never felt sexier or
more alive in my entire life.

By midnight,
Charlotte discovered
Manhattan's latest group

to flaunt their
disposable income...

The power lesbian.

They seemed
to have everything.

Great shoes,
killer eyewear

and the secrets
to invisible makeup.

I want that one,
I'm gonna take it.

Didn't I say
I was buying that piece?

I thought you were
taking the large painting
when it came in.

I want both.

Oh, for God's sakes.

Charlotte had never sold out
a show before in her life.

She was pleasantly
surprised.

Unfortunately, there was
a not so pleasant surprise

in store for her
that evening.

We're out
of champagne.

Well, I'm sure I have an extra
case or two in
the back storeroom.

Okay.

Excuse me.

Hey, relax,
we're just kissing.

I'll see you
in there.

I can't believe he had
the nerve to stand there

kissing that woman
and still pretend
he wasn't cheating on me.

Well, maybe he doesn't consider
kissing cheating.

Oh, c'mon, it was
only your second date.

So?

Doesn't that still
guarantee me fidelity

until the end
of the evening?

Do you remember Ron,

the married guy with
two kids on Park Avenue?

He didn't consider fucking
below 23rd Street cheating.

Well, that's insane.

Men cheat for the same reason
that dogs lick their balls.

Because they can.

It's part of
their biology.

Instead of wasting all
this energy condemning it,

maybe it's time
we all got in line

with the reality
of the situation.

Well, that sounds
very empowering,

but you're forgetting
one important detail.

God, I hope so.

Women cheat.

-Yeah, but it's
completely different.
-How?

'Cause we don't go around
randomly attacking any man
that we're attracted to.

Speak for yourself.

We're not driven
by testosterone.

Then what does drive us
according to you?

Emotions.

You mean hormones.

No, I mean that little voice
inside of me

that says, "Mate for life,
mate for life."

Sweetheart, you can't
go listening to every
fucking little voice

that runs through your head,
it'll drive you nuts.

The problem is that you two
have very different definitions

of what constitutes
cheating.

Well, I don't tolerate it.

And I'm more forgiving

and realistic
about human nature.

That's because
you cheat.

I just don't think
that you can define cheating

in absolute terms.

You're saying you think
it's okay to cheat?

Well, I think maybe
there's a cheating curve.

That someone's definition of
what constitutes cheating

is in direct proportion
to how much they themselves
want to cheat.

That's moral relativism.

I prefer to think of it
as quantum cheating.

The fact is,
the act of cheating

is defined by the act
of getting caught.

One doesn't exist
without the other.

I wondered,
was Samantha right?

Is cheating like
the proverbial tree
in the forest?

That it doesn't exist
if there's no one
around to catch you?

In a gravity free world
of anything goes,

what constitutes cheating?

Everybody cheats.

That's the great thing
about having a trainer.

Seven,
keep your neck back.

Eight.

Pisses me off seeing people
train improperly.

Well, I guess I better
behave then.

I'm all about
form and discipline.

Do it right or don't bother
doing it at all.

Yes.

Samantha realized that while
purity of form exacted a price,

it also had
its own rewards.

So, how do you feel?

You got me
all wet.

I mean sweaty.

Same time
on Wednesday?

It's a date.

Later that day,
Charlotte realized

she was just plain tired
of listening

to another man's
weak justifications...

You don't understand.

She's an old friend
of my sister's from college.

She just moved to the city
and her uncle died last month

and I was just
trying to be supportive.

Besides,

you're the one
I want to sleep with.

...when she felt her life
take a fortuitous turn.

Gareth,

I've got to go.

Wait, wait, what?

Hi, nice to see you.

I just came in to pay
for my painting.

It's her painting
for six months.

Then she's selling it
back to me.

Excuse me,

I'm the one
with the big loft

and all the
empty white walls.

Oh, look at it,
I am so excited.

-Excuse me.

By the way,
love the Prada loafers.

-Thanks.
-Yeah?

Power lesbians
and their shoes

are like Wall Street brokers
and their cigars.

Yael has told me so many
nice things about you.

How long have you been
doing the art thing?

Uh, ten years,
no, 12 years.

I'm losing track.

Almost five years
at this gallery.

What do you do?

I'm a V.P.
at Warner Music.

Eileen works
on Wall Street.

And how long have
you two been together?

Used to
be together.

Five years,
we're just friends now.

That is so cool.

Hold on. Hey, want to join
Melissa and Drew

in about an hour
for a drink?

Sure.

Would you like
to join us for a drink?

Oh, I wish I could, but, uh...

But what?

The truth is,
Charlotte couldn't think

of one really
good reason not to go.

I'd love to.

One drink at G-Spot,

the hottest new
girl bar in town,

followed by dinner and
scintillating conversation
at Luxe,

a hot new French-fusion
restaurant

with an even hotter
Sapphic chef,

followed by late night
dancing at Love Tunnel,

left Charlotte
exhilarated and happy

as she'd been in ages.

There was something
relaxing and liberating

in traveling through
an alternate universe

that contained
no thought of men.

By the end of the night,
Charlotte had truly made

some wonderful
new friends.

That night,
Miranda was exhausted
from her own night on the town.

She had spent the last four
hours in the dark with Ethan,

watching the classic
holocaust documentary,
Shoah .

Shoah is so much better
than that fakey, stagy
Schindler's List .

A narrative film
can't begin to touch

the horror
of experience.

Only documentaries can really
begin to capture the truth.

In fact, the entire concept
of narrative film is just...

is bogus.

You know, it's--

Want to come back
to my place?

Miranda was pleased to discover

that Ethan was as passionate
between the sheets

as he was on the subject
of non-narrative film.

But just as they were
getting down to business,

Miranda realized
they were not alone.

What's that for?

Just something
to get us in the mood.

I think it's kind of sexy,
don't you?

Yeah, I guess
it could be.

Miranda realized that
Ethan's passion for film

had taken on a new
and interesting twist.

A few nights later,
after a midnight show

of Gimme Shelter
at the Waverly,

Miranda discovered that Ethan's
new friends were hard to shake.

Does that really
need to be on?

No.

It just really
turns me on.

Aren't I enough?

Yeah, you're great.

I can turn off the sound
if it bugs you.

Could you move your head
a bit to the right?

Yeah, that's great.

That night,
in Mr. Big's kitchen,

I performed an unnatural
act of my own.

I cooked.

Voila, fondue.

You didn't cook,
you just heated up cheese.

And tore up
little pieces of bread.

Well, I'm touched
by your effort.

Okay.

It's the only recipe
I could ever master.

Alrighty.

-Now...

Tell me
you love it.

Oh... Mmm.

Tasty.

Now you tell me.

It's horrible.

Can we go to
a restaurant now?

Mm-hmm.

I take it back,
you're an excellent cook.

I haven't told any of
my friends we're seeing
each other again.

Neither have I.

Well, that doesn't count,
you have no friends.

I have
interested parties.

Then why haven't
you told them?

I sensed you didn't
want me to.

Bullshit.

Well, what do you want me
to tell people?

Nothing.

Good idea,
let's keep it quiet.

Why do you want
to keep it quiet?

I just want
to be agreeable.

The truth is,

I wasn't sure why
I wanted to keep the fact

that I was seeing Big again
so under wraps.

All I knew is
that it felt somehow elicit.

I didn't even want to
be caught waking up there.

That morning,
at 7:00 a.m.,

as I walked the walk of shame
back to my apartment...

Carrie?

Miranda,
oh my God.

What are you
doing up here?

Oh, uh, teeth cleaning.

At 7:00 a.m.?

Well, I just...
I like to get it over with.

Hey, how's Ethan?

Aside from the fact
that he's addicted to porn?

Still, huh?

It was kind of
sexy at first,

but it's just getting
borderline humiliating.

Move your head here,
move your head there.

You would think
that the real thing

would be more exciting
than a tape, wouldn't you?

Well, maybe it's just
a force of habit.

Sure, but I get the feeling

he's more interested in
the girls in the video than me.

Like he's cheating on me
with them

while we're having sex.

I don't know,
am I expecting too much?

No, no, you deserve
his undivided attention.

Thank you.

I have to go, I have an
8:00 a.m. breakfast meeting.

-Carry on.
-You're kind of dressed up

-for the dentist.
-Oh, laundry day.

-Ah!
-Ah!

-Got it.
-Bye, sweetie.

Bye.
I felt horrible.

I had never lied
to Miranda before.

But I was embarrassed to admit
that I was seeing Big again.

The truth was I was cheating
on her and all my friends

with Mr. Big.

That afternoon,
Samantha got very personal
with her new trainer, Thor.

I feel like
such a cliché.

I bet you sleep
with all your clients.

-I really don't, but...
-No?

...it's always been kind of
a fantasy for me.

Maybe I could
train you.

Why don't we
take a shower first?

You got great legs.

If I knew we were
going to be doing this

I would have
shaved them.

That's alright,
I'll shave them for you.

Are you a dirty girl?

I guess that depends on
your definition of dirty.

And then to Samantha's
surprise and delight...

Thor kept
right on shaving.

What is this thing
that guys have these days

about wanting to shave
your pubic hair?

It's obvious,
they want a little girl.

No, actually,
in Thor's case,

it was more like
being branded.

What are you
talking about?

He shaved me in a shape,
a lightning bolt.

Where do you
find these guys?

Carrie, are you
listening to this?

That very personal trainer
of Samantha's

shaved her crotch in the shape
of a lightning bolt.

Oh, really?
It's very creative.

It's sort of like
"X marks the spot."

You know, it's a very
neglected area.

-But people are really
starting to pay attention.
-Uh-huh.

You can't just let it
grow wild anymore.

There's an entire business
these days

devoted to the upkeep
and management of pubic hair.

It says as much
about you as your shoes.

Congratulations, it sounds like
you found yourself

a very talented stylist.

Carrie, what are
you doing in there?

You know what?

Can somebody get that?
I'll be out in a sec.

Hey, sorry I'm late.

Wow.

You didn't have to get
all dressed up for us.

Why not?
You did your hair.

Well, it's not
for you guys.

I'm meeting Lydia and
her friends later on tonight.

Lydia, who's Lydia?

Haven't you heard?
Charlotte's a lesbian.

I am not a lesbian.

I just have some
new lesbian friends.

She's been out with them
three times in the past week.

So?

They're cool
and they buy art

and their lives
aren't complicated by men.

I was a major lesbian
in the 4th grade.

Wendy Kirsten,
we kissed, it was nice.

They know you're
straight, right?

Oh, I'm sure they do.

But we don't even
talk about sex.

Believe me,
it's a non-issue.

You have to tell them.

Otherwise you're
just leading them on.

That's right, you're nothing
but a big clit tease.

What are you saying?
That a straight woman

and a gay woman
can't be friends?

Of course they can,

but you can't expect to move
to Wonder Woman's island

and not go native.

Where's Carrie?

If she doesn't get out
of the bathroom soon

we're gonna
miss the movie.

Is everything
okay in there?

Actually, no.

I need help.

This is embarrassing.

But I got a new diaphragm
and it's stuck.

How long has it
been in there?

Since last night.

You mean while you were out
getting your teeth cleaned
this morning?

-It was...
-Yep.

Now listen,

I'm either gonna have
to make an emergency visit
to my gynecologist

or one of you is gonna
have to give me a hand.

I'd help you but
I'm not very dexterous.

You're the lesbian,
go in there.

No.

Go.

And I just had
my nails done.

You are so
buying me dinner.

Wait a second, aren't we
skipping a beat here?

Who are you
sleeping with?

It's something that started
again a few weeks ago.

I don't know
if it's real or not

so I didn't want
to say anything.

But... it's Big.

-Oh, my God.
-What?

You're sleeping with Big?

Carrie, he was such
an asshole to you.

Not really.

I mean,
maybe sometimes, but...

What makes you think it's gonna
be any different this time?

I don't know,
I'm not sure they are,

but, it just, it kind of
feels okay.

If it feels okay, why are you
sneaking behind our backs?

Look, we've got this physical,
chemical kind of connection

that's hard to shake,
so lay off, okay?

So, now it's gonna be
a casual sex thing?

-Maybe.
-Well, that's gonna work.

Even I am not
that naive.

You know what?
I'm really not in the mood
to see a movie anymore.

-Carrie.
-Carrie.

-Come, uh...
-I didn't...

C'mon!

I couldn't sleep
at all that night.

The problem was
my friends were right.

Falling into this
casual thing with Big

without a sense of what happened
or where it was going

suddenly felt like
a huge mistake.

The next morning,
Charlotte attended brunch
at the home of Patty Aston,

the ex-wife of a Hollywood
television producer.

If power lesbians represented
Manhattan's chicest
new social hive,

Charlotte was about to meet
their queen bee.

Patty is such
an amazing lady.

She sits on the board
of like a hundred charities.

And now she's taking
flying lessons.

She's also got this gorgeous
house in Telluride.

We're all going there
for Easter,
you should come.

I'd love to.

She also has some
very interesting art.

Diana the Huntress.

I got her on sale.

Patty,
this is Charlotte.

A pleasure.

I've heard so many
wonderful things about you.

Likewise.

I was just telling
Charlotte about

your amazing house
in Telluride.

Sounds wonderful.

I'm just gonna go
get us some drinks.

-Champagne?
-Sure.

Do you ski?

Yes, but not well.

I guess I'm what
you'd call a snow bunny.

You know, I just kind of hop,
hop, hop down the bunny trail.

Yes, well, it's not
a prerequisite, believe me.

It's just wonderful to be out of
the city and in the mountains.

Absolutely.

So, you should plan to join us
the next time.

I know Lydia would love it
if you could.

That's very generous of you,
thank you.

But before we all
get on a plane together,

there's something I think
everyone wants to know.

Are you gay?

No.

No, I'm not.

But I do so enjoy the company
of all these women.

Everyone's so smart
and funny.

I'm just spending way too much
time and attention on men.

It feels like such
a safe, warm environment.

And while sexually,

I feel that
I am straight,

there's a very
powerful part of me

that connects to
the female spirit.

Sweetheart,
that's all very nice,

but if you're not
gonna eat pussy,
you're not a dyke.

Later that afternoon,

following a particularly
grueling workout with Thor,

Samantha decided to
take a relaxing steam.

That asshole!

That day at the gym,

Samantha discovered that
lightning does indeed
strike twice.

That evening, Miranda
was treated to a double bill.

Nanook of The North ,
at Alice Tully Hall,

and Steady As She Blows
at Ethan Watson's Porn Palace.

Hold it right there.

Alright, that's enough!

This is not
a synchronized event.

Look...

I like you.

But this is
getting ridiculous.

It's either the women
in the video or me.

Your choice,
but you can't have both.

Miranda,
it's not that simple.

I've only known you
for a few weeks.

But I've been involved with
some of those women for years.

I am so out of here.

That night,
for the first time ever,

Big took me
out dancing.

It was like he knew
that I needed to talk to him

and decided to make it
as difficult as possible.

Our attraction, or addiction,
or whatever was strong.

But I knew I had
to be stronger.

So does this mean
we're seeing each other again?

Officially?

If you say so.

That is an infuriating
response.

I don't know
what officially means.

Officially
means officially.

Oh.

You know, for real.

Every moment of my life
is for real, baby.

Well, just answer me this...

Why did we break up?

You tell me.

You're the one who left me
high and dry

with two tickets
to St. Barths.

You didn't say
what I wanted to hear.

Oh.

Is that it?

No, not just that.

I wanted to tell him that I was
afraid he could never love me

the way
I wanted to be loved.

I was afraid that maybe he
didn't really have the capacity

to love anyone
but himself.

I was afraid that,
given the chance,
he'd break my heart again.

But I cheated
and just said...

I guess I was afraid.

I can tell you
one thing...

I sure did miss you...

Officially.

Did you cry?

No.

But I did listen to
a hell of a lot of Sinatra.

And there it was...

I guess we were
back together...

Officially.

Whatever that means.