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1
00:00:09,958 --> 00:00:12,458
Morning,
followers. Gossip Girl here.
2
00:00:12,541 --> 00:00:15,541
Márquez once said, "We
all have three lives.
3
00:00:15,625 --> 00:00:17,101
- A public life, a private life..."
- You have any fun, at least?
4
00:00:17,125 --> 00:00:19,495
- Of course. Always.
- "...and a secret life."
5
00:00:19,583 --> 00:00:21,583
I'm off to Berlin.
I'll be back tomorrow.
6
00:00:21,666 --> 00:00:24,496
But he left out the most important one.
- Love you, Dad.
7
00:00:24,583 --> 00:00:26,583
Our dating life.
8
00:00:28,916 --> 00:00:31,496
And ever since
JC got ditched by Noble O
9
00:00:31,583 --> 00:00:35,213
for a little Z, she's been
on an international manhunt
10
00:00:35,291 --> 00:00:37,081
for a worthy replacement.
11
00:00:37,166 --> 00:00:38,456
She's gone truffle hunting
12
00:00:38,541 --> 00:00:39,559
with the Italian prime
minister's son...
13
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:45,628
The truffle is a passion, and
you need passion to hunt them.
14
00:00:45,708 --> 00:00:47,418
But this dress is a sample.
15
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:50,670
Yachting with the
last Shah of Iran's grandson...
16
00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:52,960
Might I invite you to
steam in my huge hammam?
17
00:00:57,250 --> 00:00:58,920
She even
shared a green juice
18
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,130
with the Bonus Jonas.
19
00:01:00,208 --> 00:01:01,958
All he could talk about
was how PC told him
20
00:01:02,041 --> 00:01:04,331
he was cuter than Joe
and Kevin combined.
21
00:01:04,416 --> 00:01:06,376
Spies
tell us nary a one
22
00:01:06,458 --> 00:01:08,248
wanted a second
bite at her apple.
23
00:01:08,708 --> 00:01:09,788
What?
24
00:01:09,875 --> 00:01:13,495
Perhaps this
will provide a temporary balm?
25
00:01:13,583 --> 00:01:16,583
Little Z may occupy
JC's former residence
26
00:01:16,666 --> 00:01:18,456
on the arm of the
prince of New York,
27
00:01:18,541 --> 00:01:21,711
but she's definitely
not to the manor born.
28
00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:24,081
Hope the prince
doesn't lose interest,
29
00:01:24,166 --> 00:01:27,286
or Little Z may find
herself Lonely Z.
30
00:01:27,375 --> 00:01:29,285
Maybe they're sisters after all.
31
00:01:29,375 --> 00:01:33,125
The throne is waiting, but
it won't sit empty for long.
32
00:01:35,666 --> 00:01:36,536
Quelle disaster.
33
00:01:36,625 --> 00:01:38,955
Even Timothée rescinded
his invite to MIPCOM
34
00:01:39,041 --> 00:01:40,041
after seeing these!
35
00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:41,642
You need to
stop being so choosey.
36
00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:44,666
Everyone knows the only way to get over
an heir is to get under another one.
37
00:01:44,750 --> 00:01:48,500
I tried. I guess heirs just
aren't as giving as I'm used to.
38
00:01:48,583 --> 00:01:49,713
I didn't like any of them.
39
00:01:49,791 --> 00:01:52,041
You don't have to like them,
you just have to date them.
40
00:01:52,125 --> 00:01:53,705
Jules, I hate
to say this to you,
41
00:01:53,791 --> 00:01:54,892
because fuck the
patriarchy, right?
42
00:01:54,916 --> 00:01:56,576
But, um, the men
always win this.
43
00:01:56,666 --> 00:01:57,666
Brad Pitt is ancient,
44
00:01:57,750 --> 00:02:00,500
yet he wins an Oscar for
showing his desiccated abs,
45
00:02:00,583 --> 00:02:02,963
while a still-prime Angelina
disappears a Disney witch.
46
00:02:03,041 --> 00:02:05,171
Maybe it doesn't have
to be about a man?
47
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:08,210
Millie Bobby Brown isn't
defined by who she dates.
48
00:02:08,291 --> 00:02:10,711
Millie Bobby Brown
is pre-sexual.
49
00:02:10,791 --> 00:02:12,921
You need a new Brad or
it's Havisham for you.
50
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,290
- Also, fuck the patriarchy.
Jules.
51
00:02:15,375 --> 00:02:16,125
- Do you have to pee?
- No.
52
00:02:16,208 --> 00:02:19,078
Oh, me too. Thank
you. Bye.
53
00:02:21,125 --> 00:02:22,245
So, if I tell you something,
54
00:02:22,291 --> 00:02:25,211
do you swear on your
Loewe not to tell anyone?
55
00:02:25,291 --> 00:02:27,171
- Did you kill someone?
- Worse.
56
00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:27,920
I may have slept with Max.
57
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,920
- May have or did?
- I did! I did!
58
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,960
I slept with Max! I slept
with Max many times.
59
00:02:33,041 --> 00:02:34,921
What? Why?
60
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,250
When? Basically all
of the interrogatives.
61
00:02:37,333 --> 00:02:39,213
You've known him for
a decade. Why now?
62
00:02:39,291 --> 00:02:42,671
I don't know what happened.
Kiki drama? Sexual ennui?
63
00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:45,750
My apparently latent
self-destructive tendencies?
64
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:50,753
It was one night. One long,
surprisingly informative night,
65
00:02:51,375 --> 00:02:52,955
like, Jules...
66
00:02:53,041 --> 00:02:55,751
- Are you gonna tell Aki?
- I mean, I feel terrible,
67
00:02:55,833 --> 00:02:57,633
but it had nothing to
do with him. I love him.
68
00:02:58,541 --> 00:03:02,581
Until I can give him a reason
for these anomalous actions,
69
00:03:02,666 --> 00:03:04,666
why cause him pain
with the truth?
70
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:06,670
Consider my friend-DA signed.
71
00:03:06,750 --> 00:03:08,630
I just hope Gossip
Girl doesn't find out.
72
00:03:08,708 --> 00:03:10,142
You're right. Now
that she's verified,
73
00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:12,626
if she posts it, people
might believe it's true.
74
00:03:12,708 --> 00:03:13,578
It is true.
75
00:03:13,666 --> 00:03:16,876
I know! I'm a bad
person! I'm a bad person!
76
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:18,170
I'm a terrible person.
77
00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:20,080
Why, because you
wiped out at LES?
78
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:22,876
No, but I deserve to.
I'm a terrible person.
79
00:03:22,958 --> 00:03:25,918
You are like the last person
to be classified as terrible.
80
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,309
- What if I told you I cheated on Audrey?
- I wouldn't believe you.
81
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:30,293
What if I told you I may
have made out with someone
82
00:03:30,375 --> 00:03:31,285
other than Audrey?
83
00:03:31,375 --> 00:03:33,245
- You may have or you did?
- I did!
84
00:03:34,208 --> 00:03:35,328
I made out with someone.
85
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:38,666
Okay, um... Was it
a one-time thing,
86
00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:42,000
- or this was a recurring...
- Yes. Never again. Just once.
87
00:03:42,083 --> 00:03:43,083
Okay then, who cares?
88
00:03:43,125 --> 00:03:45,005
I mean, you still want
to be with Audrey, right?
89
00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:46,631
Of course. I love her.
90
00:03:46,708 --> 00:03:47,988
This had nothing to do with her.
91
00:03:48,041 --> 00:03:50,726
Okay, then why cause her the stress
and embarrassment of your fuck-up?
92
00:03:50,750 --> 00:03:52,380
You know what I mean?
93
00:03:52,458 --> 00:03:55,128
Look, if it was a mistake,
just learn from it and move on.
94
00:03:55,208 --> 00:03:56,788
And make sure that
whoever she is
95
00:03:56,875 --> 00:03:59,075
does not kiss and tell.
96
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,330
- That wasn't awkward.
- Shh!
97
00:04:20,416 --> 00:04:23,916
- Gossip Girl could be listening!
- Yeah, she's everywhere.
98
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:27,101
- Hey. Something's up.
- I know. It's working.
99
00:04:27,125 --> 00:04:29,245
No. Something else.
Check your e-mail.
100
00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:31,173
Burton called a mandatory
meeting after school.
101
00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:34,330
I'm sure it's unrelated.
- I'm not.
102
00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:38,420
Oh, my
God. There she is.
103
00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:40,767
She knows? Taylor, did you see this?
104
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,830
I don't know, I
gotta go for Pizza Rat.
105
00:04:48,416 --> 00:04:52,286
"Who wore it better?
Pizza Face or Pizza Rat?"
106
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,665
Just forget about it, all right?
107
00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:55,380
By the time you
refresh, it'll be gone.
108
00:04:55,458 --> 00:04:57,498
Wow, you're right.
And now it's a poll.
109
00:04:59,541 --> 00:05:01,101
If it makes you feel any better,
that rat is an iconic New Yorker.
110
00:05:01,125 --> 00:05:03,245
Yeah, so is Zora Neale Hurston,
111
00:05:03,333 --> 00:05:04,601
but no one's
comparing me to her.
112
00:05:04,625 --> 00:05:07,205
Okay, this is why I stay off
of social media entirely.
113
00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:09,131
Well, you don't even have
to. Whenever you eat,
114
00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:11,208
it looks like a dinner
party in T magazine.
115
00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:15,208
Speaking of dinner, my dad
would like to have you over.
116
00:05:15,291 --> 00:05:17,881
He said since I'm
staying at Constance
117
00:05:17,958 --> 00:05:19,267
and I appear to be
serious about you,
118
00:05:19,291 --> 00:05:20,691
he'd like to get
to know you better.
119
00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:22,250
Um... I'm stuck
on "appear to be."
120
00:05:22,333 --> 00:05:24,543
He's a lawyer. It's always
about how it appears to be.
121
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:25,684
But don't feel obligated
to it. It's just...
122
00:05:25,708 --> 00:05:28,378
No, are you kidding? I
mean, we can't hang out in
123
00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:30,059
morning runs and free periods
and walks home forever.
124
00:05:30,083 --> 00:05:32,003
I want to take you out on a
125
00:05:32,083 --> 00:05:34,583
- a real date.
126
00:05:34,666 --> 00:05:36,184
And I understand your
dad's apprehension.
127
00:05:36,208 --> 00:05:38,748
So I will bring all
the charm that I own.
128
00:05:45,958 --> 00:05:48,878
- Tragic. Just look at her.
I can't.
129
00:05:48,958 --> 00:05:50,976
My transition Lapimas don't dim
from daylight to depression.
130
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,080
Yeah, we've worked too hard
131
00:05:52,166 --> 00:05:54,626
to let Julien abdicate
without a fight.
132
00:05:54,708 --> 00:05:57,878
I know, but we've tried every
man on the Quest 400 list.
133
00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:58,788
Who's left?
134
00:05:58,875 --> 00:06:00,995
Maybe it isn't about
a man. Maybe it's her.
135
00:06:01,791 --> 00:06:02,934
Are you guys talking about me?
136
00:06:02,958 --> 00:06:04,934
- No. Of course not.
- Totally and completely, yeah.
137
00:06:04,958 --> 00:06:07,128
I don't need you to pile
on too, Max. I'm exhausted.
138
00:06:07,208 --> 00:06:12,038
You want to know why no one you've been on a
date with wants to get to know you better? Hmm?
139
00:06:12,791 --> 00:06:14,131
It's 'cause they can't.
140
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,878
You're a billboard, not a body.
141
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,380
Curated, untouchable,
willingly filtered by you,
142
00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:20,918
- your stylist and publicist.
- PR representative.
143
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,790
It's like I lost myself somehow.
144
00:06:23,875 --> 00:06:27,125
Which is why I propose
that we find her together.
145
00:06:27,208 --> 00:06:29,958
A Manhattan
Maxploration, tonight.
146
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,671
Consider me your White Rabbit.
147
00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:33,226
We're gonna do things that
you've never done before,
148
00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:36,040
in places you have
never gone before.
149
00:06:36,125 --> 00:06:38,785
And when we are done,
you are gonna be so real,
150
00:06:38,875 --> 00:06:39,625
that even Obie will remember
151
00:06:39,708 --> 00:06:41,878
why he loved you
in the first place.
152
00:06:43,541 --> 00:06:45,981
Audrey can vouch for how good I
am at demolishing inhibitions.
153
00:06:46,208 --> 00:06:48,668
Fine, go out.
154
00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:49,580
But don't worry
about how it looks.
155
00:06:49,666 --> 00:06:53,246
Do it for yourself and
do not document it.
156
00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:54,933
- Document it!
- Oh, my God, document it.
157
00:06:55,208 --> 00:06:56,538
You in?
158
00:07:03,375 --> 00:07:04,075
I know
you're all curious
159
00:07:04,166 --> 00:07:07,536
why I called this all-hands.
160
00:07:07,625 --> 00:07:09,995
And so I'm just gonna cut
to the chase. Gossip Girl.
161
00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:11,543
I'm sure you're aware of it.
162
00:07:11,625 --> 00:07:15,825
An anonymous Instagram account
that spies on our students
163
00:07:15,916 --> 00:07:17,326
and spreads rumors about them,
164
00:07:17,416 --> 00:07:21,166
students whose parents
rather generously
165
00:07:21,250 --> 00:07:23,250
keep the lights on around here.
166
00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:25,213
And many of those parents
are now threatening
167
00:07:25,291 --> 00:07:28,501
to pull their donations if
this situation isn't solved.
168
00:07:28,583 --> 00:07:30,642
- We're dead. Worse than dead.
My predecessor...
169
00:07:30,666 --> 00:07:33,956
- A Netflix documentary on dead people.
- Jordan.
170
00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:37,081
Of a pernicious presence
that would sabotage
171
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:39,076
students' studies,
172
00:07:39,166 --> 00:07:41,666
their social lives,
even hijack graduation.
173
00:07:41,750 --> 00:07:43,040
And now it's happening again.
174
00:07:43,125 --> 00:07:44,875
- Vivian, if I may?
- Oh, of course, Linda.
175
00:07:44,958 --> 00:07:48,208
I've found Gossip Girl
surprisingly helpful.
176
00:07:48,291 --> 00:07:51,421
My students have seemed,
I don't know, more mindful
177
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,210
of what they say and
178
00:07:53,291 --> 00:07:54,131
what they do around each other.
179
00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:57,378
I agree. I'd even
go so far as to say
180
00:07:57,458 --> 00:08:00,128
the students are more
respectful to us as well.
181
00:08:00,208 --> 00:08:02,392
With apologies
to my wife and Mr. Caparros,
182
00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:06,706
I firmly disagree.
Gossip Girl is a cancer.
183
00:08:06,791 --> 00:08:09,881
Kids are on their phones
more now than ever.
184
00:08:09,958 --> 00:08:11,288
And in class.
185
00:08:11,375 --> 00:08:14,075
Well, to address Mr. Schacter's
very valid concern,
186
00:08:14,166 --> 00:08:16,326
students will no longer
187
00:08:16,416 --> 00:08:18,876
have access to their phones
during the school day.
188
00:08:18,958 --> 00:08:20,238
That's gonna be
bad for business.
189
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:23,081
And you may have noticed
some new bodies in our halls.
190
00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:25,536
One of our parents
has graciously donated
191
00:08:25,625 --> 00:08:28,245
a consultancy with an
intelligence agency.
192
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:30,753
They will conduct a
swift investigation
193
00:08:30,833 --> 00:08:33,213
to determine the
source of our stress.
194
00:08:33,291 --> 00:08:35,751
By this time next week,
195
00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:40,753
Gossip Girl must be
exposed and expelled.
196
00:08:40,833 --> 00:08:43,833
Oh, my God, they
hired Black Cube!
197
00:08:43,916 --> 00:08:46,916
Let's not panic. We just have
to keep them off our scent.
198
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,120
You're all following GG from
your own accounts, right?
199
00:08:49,166 --> 00:08:50,666
Rude, of course we are.
200
00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:54,250
Okay. Then, like the posts
and watch the videos.
201
00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:56,633
A lot of teachers do, so if
you don't, you stand out.
202
00:08:56,708 --> 00:08:59,328
And no DMs from your
accounts to GG ever.
203
00:08:59,416 --> 00:09:01,309
We also shouldn't
post from school, right?
204
00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:04,133
- They could trace it?
- I put a firewall on the server.
205
00:09:04,208 --> 00:09:06,008
As long as you stay on
our Wi-Fi, you're safe.
206
00:09:06,041 --> 00:09:07,131
How can you be so sure?
207
00:09:07,208 --> 00:09:09,328
I'm the computer
science teacher.
208
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:12,036
And don't post
during school hours.
209
00:09:12,125 --> 00:09:14,309
Now that kids won't have phones,
it could point towards faculty.
210
00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:15,684
But as soon as the bell rings,
I'll keep the posts flowing.
211
00:09:15,708 --> 00:09:19,458
It would cast more light on us
if we slowed after that meeting.
212
00:09:19,541 --> 00:09:21,381
Maybe mix things up a little?
213
00:09:21,458 --> 00:09:23,078
Shine some of that
light on teachers,
214
00:09:23,166 --> 00:09:25,286
make it look more like
it's a disgruntled student?
215
00:09:25,375 --> 00:09:26,955
Got any dirt from
the home office?
216
00:09:27,041 --> 00:09:29,961
Ready to get buried? We can
start with the Schacters.
217
00:09:30,041 --> 00:09:32,581
Henry's been having an affair
with Libby the Librarian.
218
00:09:33,041 --> 00:09:34,041
Ooh.
219
00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:35,383
Make that item blind.
220
00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:36,208
Maybe there are more
affairs around here
221
00:09:36,291 --> 00:09:38,461
and we can get some great tips?
222
00:09:38,541 --> 00:09:41,711
They had perfect
porcinis at Eataly today,
223
00:09:41,791 --> 00:09:45,631
so I told Rocky risotto
ai funghi is imperative.
224
00:09:45,708 --> 00:09:48,828
Even though, um, your dad
is doing "keto" again.
225
00:09:48,916 --> 00:09:51,786
-Which we both
know is a lie.
226
00:09:51,875 --> 00:09:54,665
Oh. There was never an
entrance he didn't make.
227
00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:58,330
- Or a corset he couldn't cinch.
- Oh, this old McQueen?
228
00:09:58,416 --> 00:10:00,666
Your, uh, your
hair is different.
229
00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:02,880
Serge gave me a
blowout. You like?
230
00:10:03,625 --> 00:10:06,995
It's, um... It's voluminous.
231
00:10:07,083 --> 00:10:09,003
Oh, Rocky,
this looks glorious.
232
00:10:09,083 --> 00:10:12,043
As do you.
233
00:10:12,125 --> 00:10:13,995
So, where are you
off to after this?
234
00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:17,753
Critics preview for Jeremy
O. Harris's new play:
235
00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:18,383
AARON at The Public.
236
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:21,578
- Mm.
It's, um...
237
00:10:21,666 --> 00:10:26,246
A very loose adaptation
of Titus Andronicus
238
00:10:27,791 --> 00:10:28,711
focusing on Aaron the moor.
239
00:10:28,791 --> 00:10:32,881
Gore and genitals? Save
me a full-frontal seat.
240
00:10:32,958 --> 00:10:35,788
I have. Opening's
tomorrow night.
241
00:10:35,875 --> 00:10:37,715
There's a ticket block
for all of your friends.
242
00:10:40,666 --> 00:10:42,496
And Pops.
243
00:10:42,583 --> 00:10:45,059
What are you going to do tonight
while I'm at the preview, hon?
244
00:10:45,083 --> 00:10:46,963
Stay home. Working on the plans
245
00:10:47,041 --> 00:10:48,961
for Ina and Jeffrey's
hornbeam hedge.
246
00:10:53,083 --> 00:10:54,753
You know, maybe it's best
247
00:10:54,833 --> 00:10:56,383
not to wear that tomorrow night.
248
00:11:00,041 --> 00:11:01,581
Mm! And this is keto.
249
00:11:03,291 --> 00:11:05,601
As that essentially
forces them out of this neighborhood
250
00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:08,125
and leaves the area
wide open for developers
251
00:11:08,208 --> 00:11:09,708
who were already circling.
252
00:11:10,416 --> 00:11:11,746
Like your parents?
253
00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:14,253
Yeah, and everybody else
who sees the Navy Yard
254
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:16,253
as this billion-dollar
waterfront property
255
00:11:16,333 --> 00:11:16,633
and not a neighborhood.
256
00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:19,420
But I think that
257
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:22,960
privilege ignores the
realities of systemic issues.
258
00:11:23,041 --> 00:11:26,461
I'm surprised to hear you speak
about your family this way.
259
00:11:26,541 --> 00:11:28,421
Yeah, well, it's nothing
I haven't told them.
260
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:30,790
And they...
they support me.
261
00:11:30,875 --> 00:11:32,705
They want me to remind
them, keep them honest.
262
00:11:34,833 --> 00:11:37,003
- Hey, Z?
- Hmm?
263
00:11:37,083 --> 00:11:38,583
Feel like joining
the conversation?
264
00:11:38,666 --> 00:11:40,309
I'm... I'm sorry. I...
I know I'm being rude.
265
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:43,213
It's just, I'm trending.
266
00:11:43,291 --> 00:11:46,381
Or at least, the
hashtag "Zugly" is.
267
00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:48,793
It's Luna La.
268
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,375
- She started it.
- How do you know?
269
00:11:51,833 --> 00:11:54,963
"Hey Ju-lions! Let's get the
hashtag 'Zugly' trending."
270
00:11:55,041 --> 00:11:57,291
It's all so toxic. I
tried to tell Julien
271
00:11:57,375 --> 00:11:59,684
that social media was ruining her
life...
272
00:11:59,708 --> 00:12:01,458
How about we put
away our phones,
273
00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:05,751
and discuss how
much I'm enjoying
274
00:12:05,833 --> 00:12:07,173
getting to know Obie here?
275
00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:11,035
Are you, um, are you
enjoying it enough
276
00:12:11,125 --> 00:12:13,705
to consider letting
us go on a real date?
277
00:12:13,791 --> 00:12:14,791
- Not yet.
- Okay.
278
00:12:14,875 --> 00:12:18,325
But, you
know, getting closer.
279
00:12:38,416 --> 00:12:39,786
- Sorry.
- What's wrong?
280
00:12:40,750 --> 00:12:42,250
Just not into eye
contact tonight.
281
00:12:50,125 --> 00:12:51,875
Yeah!
282
00:12:53,541 --> 00:12:54,541
Keep going!
283
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:56,875
Keep going!
284
00:13:01,958 --> 00:13:03,668
- Whoa!
- Oh, sorry.
285
00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:07,628
No. Just wasn't
expecting that...
286
00:13:07,708 --> 00:13:10,168
- I guess I overshot.
- By a lot.
287
00:13:14,541 --> 00:13:15,541
I'm sorry.
288
00:13:16,791 --> 00:13:18,211
It just caught me by surprise.
289
00:13:19,458 --> 00:13:23,168
Uh... Just need some
time to, uh... recoup.
290
00:13:23,833 --> 00:13:24,833
Yeah, take your time.
291
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:35,000
- Woo!
292
00:13:48,375 --> 00:13:50,415
Status update?
293
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:52,340
Uh, you're in your
underwear in the Daily Mail.
294
00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:55,791
I'm in my underwear
on the Daily Mail.
295
00:13:57,750 --> 00:13:59,960
We'll WhatsApp that to Timothée.
296
00:14:00,041 --> 00:14:01,541
Actually, don't.
You'll get arrested.
297
00:14:02,708 --> 00:14:03,998
Want some?
298
00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:07,383
Uh... No, thank you, I'm
intermittent fasting.
299
00:14:07,458 --> 00:14:11,038
But offer some to
that girl there? Hey.
300
00:14:11,125 --> 00:14:13,745
All right, so you're
allowed no more than two
301
00:14:13,833 --> 00:14:15,543
but no less than one.
302
00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:17,705
I love solving inequalities!
303
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,500
Oh!
304
00:14:24,625 --> 00:14:27,245
- Oh, okay.
305
00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:30,833
- What was that?
- Space coke.
306
00:14:30,916 --> 00:14:33,101
- Is that like coke from NASA?
- It's coke with ketamine.
307
00:14:33,125 --> 00:14:35,245
Oh!
308
00:14:37,625 --> 00:14:39,535
Yeah!
- Woo!
309
00:14:39,625 --> 00:14:40,995
I'll help with
dessert in a moment!
310
00:15:00,791 --> 00:15:02,751
What is it? Is it
an Amber Alert?
311
00:15:04,125 --> 00:15:05,325
Someone's calling you.
312
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,080
Hello?
- Do not call list.
313
00:15:11,166 --> 00:15:12,916
- It... It's Zoya.
I don't know her.
314
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:15,960
I know you made
the Zugly hashtag.
315
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:17,628
Yes, and?
316
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,828
And I'm asking
you to stop it?
317
00:15:19,916 --> 00:15:21,706
Mm! An ingenious
portmanteau like that
318
00:15:21,791 --> 00:15:24,751
only derives from
a place of truth.
319
00:15:24,833 --> 00:15:27,923
You can't dress like the Paramus
Uniqlo's back-to-school sale
320
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,320
- and not expect some feedback.
321
00:15:33,375 --> 00:15:35,075
- My name's...
- No.
322
00:15:35,166 --> 00:15:37,416
So, what are you saying?
323
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:39,290
I could, um, try
to Pygmalion you.
324
00:15:39,375 --> 00:15:41,665
Pygmalion me?
325
00:15:41,750 --> 00:15:43,830
Queer Eye, Princess
Diary, Pretty Woman you.
326
00:15:43,916 --> 00:15:45,376
Yeah, I know the reference.
327
00:15:45,458 --> 00:15:48,038
I'm just surprised you do.
Isn't it anti-feminist?
328
00:15:48,125 --> 00:15:49,915
I don't mean a
feminized transformation
329
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,750
in order to please a cis man.
330
00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:53,633
I'm talking elevating
your taste level
331
00:15:53,708 --> 00:15:56,168
so that no one calls
you Zugly again.
332
00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:58,920
Look, I don't want to become some
inauthentic version of myself.
333
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,210
When I'm done with you, you
won't know the difference.
334
00:16:01,291 --> 00:16:03,142
As long as you're on Obie's
arm, you're in the spotlight.
335
00:16:03,166 --> 00:16:07,456
It can be a blinding glare
or a benevolent glow.
336
00:16:07,541 --> 00:16:09,881
So what's it gonna be?
- Well
337
00:16:11,916 --> 00:16:15,456
If Julien falls, we aren't
going down with her.
338
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,581
Might as well get in
with the new world order.
339
00:16:20,958 --> 00:16:26,078
- Well, that was...
- Informative?
340
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:31,040
Sometimes it's important to
experiment to see what you like.
341
00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:32,958
Or don't.
342
00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:37,375
I love you. Good night.
343
00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:39,785
I love you too.
344
00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:49,580
This just in.
345
00:16:49,666 --> 00:16:51,666
Looks like one of Constance's
most constant couples
346
00:16:51,708 --> 00:16:54,128
isn't as coupled as we thought.
347
00:16:54,208 --> 00:16:58,998
We hear one half strayed, but
not too far from the nest,
348
00:16:59,083 --> 00:17:01,423
in fact, with someone
close to both parties.
349
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:03,960
You okay, babe?
350
00:17:04,041 --> 00:17:06,631
Yeah, just, uh... reading
Sight and Sound. You?
351
00:17:07,458 --> 00:17:08,668
Town and Country.
352
00:17:08,750 --> 00:17:10,142
That's the fun
thing about blind items.
353
00:17:10,166 --> 00:17:14,456
We often don't see what's
right in front of our eyes.
354
00:17:17,666 --> 00:17:19,576
- I love your cat suit.
- Thank you!
355
00:17:19,666 --> 00:17:21,826
It's my cast aside cat suit!
356
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,786
Oh, babe, whoever
broke up with you
357
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:26,495
doesn't deserve you
in the first place.
358
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,290
My boyfriend dumped me for my
sister... well, half-sister...
359
00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:35,934
Who I basically imported
from, like, Siberia.
360
00:17:35,958 --> 00:17:40,628
So I am on the warpath
to get over him tonight.
361
00:17:40,708 --> 00:17:43,288
You are a warrior!
- I am.
362
00:17:44,458 --> 00:17:48,788
- I am a warrior!
Maybe I should be, too.
363
00:17:48,875 --> 00:17:51,165
I have been dating my
boyfriend for a year,
364
00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:54,380
and he still won't
go public with me.
365
00:17:54,458 --> 00:17:57,288
We go off-peak to
off-grid places like this.
366
00:17:57,375 --> 00:18:01,625
Or I sleep over two nights
a week at his pied-à-terre.
367
00:18:01,708 --> 00:18:03,458
Sounds like he's
hiding something.
368
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:04,921
Bring him to the red table!
369
00:18:05,041 --> 00:18:06,671
I should.
370
00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:11,290
Like, is it his problem or
mine for caring so much?
371
00:18:11,375 --> 00:18:14,035
The moral of the story?
You can't rely on any man.
372
00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:17,205
You can only rely
on yourself, right?
373
00:18:17,291 --> 00:18:18,541
That's so fucking true.
374
00:18:27,625 --> 00:18:29,785
- Are we swiping?
- Uh, GPSing.
375
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:31,415
It is one on Wednesday.
376
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:33,500
We need to see where the
migaytion is flocking on.
377
00:18:33,583 --> 00:18:35,309
I'll check the LES.
378
00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:40,173
Oh... Tap him, he's cute.
And he likes pigs!
379
00:18:40,250 --> 00:18:44,540
- Oh, that's not what that means.
- What?
380
00:18:47,791 --> 00:18:49,881
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
381
00:18:51,958 --> 00:18:52,958
My dad.
382
00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:55,455
No, my dad.
383
00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:00,580
And sometimes,
when we least expect it,
384
00:19:00,666 --> 00:19:03,956
our eyes are opened for us.
385
00:19:04,041 --> 00:19:06,631
My advice? Don't look away.
386
00:19:23,125 --> 00:19:24,125
Something happened.
387
00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:26,101
They're calling teachers
in for private interviews.
388
00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:28,325
What? Why? We did
everything right.
389
00:19:28,416 --> 00:19:29,076
I told you, they're Black Cube!
390
00:19:29,166 --> 00:19:31,036
- They know things!
- It's a crusade.
391
00:19:31,125 --> 00:19:34,285
They won't stop till
there's a head on a spike.
392
00:19:34,375 --> 00:19:35,559
I once saw on an
episode of The Americans
393
00:19:35,583 --> 00:19:39,043
that if you squeeze your anus,
you can dupe a lie detector.
394
00:19:40,333 --> 00:19:42,463
All Burton wants is
for this to go away.
395
00:19:42,541 --> 00:19:43,791
She won't stop until it does.
396
00:19:43,875 --> 00:19:46,125
Which is why we need
to end it for her.
397
00:19:46,208 --> 00:19:47,208
We need a fall guy.
398
00:19:50,666 --> 00:19:52,786
How about a fall gay?
399
00:19:52,875 --> 00:19:54,226
He refused to join us
and knows our secrets.
400
00:19:54,250 --> 00:19:57,750
- Two birds, one stone?
- We can't do that. Can we?
401
00:19:57,833 --> 00:19:59,133
He's too big of a fish to fry.
402
00:19:59,208 --> 00:20:01,628
Then who? We need
to scapegoat someone
403
00:20:01,708 --> 00:20:04,288
before we're strapped
to the chair ourselves.
404
00:20:04,375 --> 00:20:06,075
- Shit. Shit.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
405
00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:07,916
You, uh, rough night?
406
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,750
- Um... One could say that.
- You okay?
407
00:20:14,041 --> 00:20:15,791
I'm actually glad
I ran into you.
408
00:20:15,875 --> 00:20:17,875
The craziest thing happened
409
00:20:17,958 --> 00:20:20,578
and I just need to talk about
it with someone I can trust.
410
00:20:20,666 --> 00:20:21,706
Last night...
411
00:20:25,416 --> 00:20:29,076
- You know what, forget it.
- No, um, it's, um...
412
00:20:29,166 --> 00:20:31,626
I'm sorry, all right? It's
just, I probably shouldn't...
413
00:20:31,708 --> 00:20:33,868
Yeah, of course. You shouldn't.
But you did anyway, so.
414
00:20:45,875 --> 00:20:47,184
Hey, did you come in the side
way? I've been waiting for you!
415
00:20:47,208 --> 00:20:49,078
Someone sent Deuxmoi
my old Dubsmashes,
416
00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:51,826
- and now everyone is just la...
417
00:20:51,916 --> 00:20:53,101
You can't use your
phone at school!
418
00:20:53,125 --> 00:20:55,059
Hey. All right. Okay, okay.
All right. Look, look, look,
419
00:20:55,083 --> 00:20:57,293
I know what's
gonna cheer you up.
420
00:20:57,375 --> 00:21:00,035
Your dad gave us permission
for our first real date!
421
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,392
Yeah. And I got us tickets to Jeremy
O. Harris's new play. Opening night.
422
00:21:02,416 --> 00:21:04,392
When I told him what it was,
he caved because he knows
423
00:21:04,416 --> 00:21:06,826
how important theater is
to you and everything.
424
00:21:06,916 --> 00:21:09,826
And you can tell me what
it all means afterwards.
425
00:21:09,916 --> 00:21:11,476
'Cause you know,
off-Broadway is like
426
00:21:13,083 --> 00:21:14,213
all confusing and...
427
00:21:16,333 --> 00:21:18,423
- I thought you loved the theater?
- No, I do. I do.
428
00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,250
And I couldn't be more
excited. Excuse me.
429
00:21:23,541 --> 00:21:26,421
- You told Gossip Girl about us?
- Shizukani, Akeno.
430
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:31,170
I have not had enough espresso
or Vyvanse for this encounter.
431
00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,410
- So you admit you did it?
- What, spill the bathwater?
432
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:34,538
No, of course not.
433
00:21:34,625 --> 00:21:36,745
Do you know how many people
cheat in this school?
434
00:21:36,833 --> 00:21:38,517
This place has more side
pieces than Versailles.
435
00:21:38,541 --> 00:21:39,001
She could have meant any couple.
436
00:21:39,083 --> 00:21:40,883
That post was clearly me
437
00:21:40,958 --> 00:21:42,168
- and Aud...
- What about me?
438
00:21:42,250 --> 00:21:45,170
Um... That, uh, you
look good enough to eat.
439
00:21:45,250 --> 00:21:46,580
Oh.
440
00:21:46,666 --> 00:21:48,456
Could you get me a
contraband straw?
441
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:49,831
This paper ones always break.
442
00:21:53,291 --> 00:21:55,381
What the hell, Wolfe! You
told Gossip Girl about us?
443
00:21:55,458 --> 00:21:57,828
Oh, for fuck's sake,
not this again.
444
00:21:57,916 --> 00:22:00,267
- Again? What do you mean again?
- Why is everyone on my case?
445
00:22:00,291 --> 00:22:02,751
I have a lot of things
on my mind right now
446
00:22:02,833 --> 00:22:04,601
and your lesbian bed death
is certainly not one of them.
447
00:22:04,625 --> 00:22:08,125
You know what? If you're so
worried about it getting out,
448
00:22:08,208 --> 00:22:10,248
maybe you shouldn't have
done it in the first place!
449
00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:14,705
This one's made of wheat.
450
00:22:20,958 --> 00:22:22,998
Progress report on the
sins of our fathers?
451
00:22:23,083 --> 00:22:24,883
I searched the entire
house last night
452
00:22:24,958 --> 00:22:26,078
and couldn't find a thing.
453
00:22:26,166 --> 00:22:29,416
No hidden passages from the
service entrance to his room.
454
00:22:29,500 --> 00:22:31,080
No stray La Perlas
in the closet.
455
00:22:31,166 --> 00:22:33,376
No sign of a girlfriend at
all. So, he is hiding her.
456
00:22:35,166 --> 00:22:36,916
- But why?
- Hm.
457
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,080
I Insta-stalked
her. Lola Morgan.
458
00:22:40,166 --> 00:22:42,916
- Singer-songwriter.
- Hm, that tracks.
459
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,000
I'm determined to
gain clarity on this.
460
00:22:45,791 --> 00:22:47,581
What about you?
461
00:22:47,666 --> 00:22:50,746
I gently prodded Dad and he
said they've never opened,
462
00:22:50,833 --> 00:22:52,476
so I don't know why Pops
is on there "newly single."
463
00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:55,420
So of course, I had to
take drastic measures.
464
00:22:57,875 --> 00:23:00,875
He probably has his reasons.
Maybe just leave it alone?
465
00:23:00,958 --> 00:23:04,038
Mm... Maybe Davis has
his and you should too?
466
00:23:08,958 --> 00:23:10,578
The Prince and the Popo?
467
00:23:10,666 --> 00:23:12,684
"The new girl on the
arm of prince of New York"
468
00:23:12,708 --> 00:23:15,578
Otto Bergmann IV is
something called a Zoya Lott.
469
00:23:15,666 --> 00:23:18,496
And no, apparently,
that's not her drag name.
470
00:23:18,583 --> 00:23:20,463
An import from a
shtetl called Buffalo,
471
00:23:20,541 --> 00:23:22,541
Lott was overheard at
not-spot Via Quadronno
472
00:23:22,625 --> 00:23:24,101
"saying New York
smelled like garbage."
473
00:23:24,125 --> 00:23:25,665
It was literally garbage day!
474
00:23:25,750 --> 00:23:28,880
It's New York.
It's always garbage day.
475
00:23:29,750 --> 00:23:30,460
When are you going to get it?
476
00:23:30,541 --> 00:23:32,211
As far as the
press is concerned,
477
00:23:32,291 --> 00:23:33,211
he's R-Patz and
you're Suki nobody.
478
00:23:33,291 --> 00:23:36,291
This is the land of
schadenfreude on Adderall.
479
00:23:36,375 --> 00:23:39,075
You need to curate your
image as meticulously
480
00:23:39,166 --> 00:23:41,916
as a Gagauzian exhibit
and follow only my rules.
481
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,226
Otherwise, you'll end up being
banned like a plastic bag
482
00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:45,920
on the corner of
Lex and D'Agostino.
483
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,960
Okay, I'm going to an
opening with Obie tonight,
484
00:23:48,041 --> 00:23:49,751
so I need your help
now more than ever.
485
00:23:52,291 --> 00:23:54,711
First rule. Never
speak in public,
486
00:23:54,791 --> 00:23:55,671
which you've just learned.
487
00:23:55,750 --> 00:23:58,080
Second rule. Never look
directly at a camera.
488
00:23:58,166 --> 00:24:01,166
Never look directly anywhere.
489
00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:04,170
- These are contacts.
- I don't wear contacts.
490
00:24:04,250 --> 00:24:06,250
Exactly. They'll make
everything blurry.
491
00:24:06,333 --> 00:24:08,833
This way, you'll always
look like you're smizing.
492
00:24:08,916 --> 00:24:10,516
Because you literally
can't see anything.
493
00:24:12,083 --> 00:24:14,463
Third rule. Never sweat.
494
00:24:14,541 --> 00:24:17,001
- Relax, it's just Botox.
- I don't want Botox, I'm 14!
495
00:24:17,083 --> 00:24:19,003
It's preventative.
496
00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:20,851
And don't worry, it's not
for your face, anyway.
497
00:24:20,875 --> 00:24:21,875
Then what is it for?
498
00:24:22,791 --> 00:24:26,461
Fine, a pad will do. Lift.
499
00:24:26,541 --> 00:24:28,642
- That'll make me sweat more.
- And now no one will see it.
500
00:24:28,666 --> 00:24:31,206
- Fourth rule. Know your side.
- I have a side?
501
00:24:31,291 --> 00:24:31,881
You do and it's not
facing me right now.
502
00:24:31,958 --> 00:24:34,288
Are you taking notes?
503
00:24:52,916 --> 00:24:55,126
And finally, five tenets to
live and die by in public.
504
00:24:55,208 --> 00:24:57,708
Never eat, cry, PDA,
MTA or wear flats.
505
00:24:57,791 --> 00:24:58,671
- Where am I supposed to eat?
- In private,
506
00:24:58,750 --> 00:25:00,630
with the blinds drawn.
And whatever you do,
507
00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:03,128
never trust the doorman.
They sell tips to TMZ.
508
00:25:03,208 --> 00:25:04,748
No way! Jimmy's
been in the building
509
00:25:04,833 --> 00:25:07,517
- since the '70s when my grandma first moved there.
- Ew. You live with your grandma?
510
00:25:07,541 --> 00:25:09,684
No. I mean, she's in a home,
but I stay in her apartment,
511
00:25:09,708 --> 00:25:11,476
which is probably something
I shouldn't have told you
512
00:25:11,500 --> 00:25:14,017
because it's rent-controlled and the
board doesn't know that I'm there, but...
513
00:25:14,041 --> 00:25:16,226
Do I look like I want a story?
You're a client, not a colleague.
514
00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:16,710
Now show me what's in your bag.
515
00:25:16,791 --> 00:25:19,001
Hey!
516
00:25:19,083 --> 00:25:20,963
I shouldn't be seen
with you right now.
517
00:25:21,041 --> 00:25:22,721
It's fine, Gossip Girl
knows nothing, okay?
518
00:25:24,583 --> 00:25:26,083
But she could find out.
519
00:25:26,166 --> 00:25:27,956
If you want to guarantee,
I'll never tell...
520
00:25:28,041 --> 00:25:29,961
- More steam-room shenanigans?
521
00:25:30,041 --> 00:25:32,381
More of a catfishing expedition.
522
00:25:32,458 --> 00:25:35,748
I need you to create
a fake Scruff profile
523
00:25:35,833 --> 00:25:37,333
and use it on my dad.
524
00:25:38,208 --> 00:25:39,628
Are you out of
your fucking mind?
525
00:25:39,708 --> 00:25:42,308
Look, I need proof that he is using
the app for more than perusal.
526
00:25:42,333 --> 00:25:45,173
- Why don't you just do it yourself?
- You want me to sext my father?
527
00:25:45,250 --> 00:25:46,830
Is it any better you want me to?
528
00:25:46,916 --> 00:25:50,416
No, not as you. As Rafa. Okay?
529
00:25:50,500 --> 00:25:52,460
Clone his profile
and get chatty.
530
00:25:52,541 --> 00:25:53,921
No nudes, no private album,
531
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,380
just the innocent intention
of meeting up on record.
532
00:25:56,458 --> 00:25:59,878
This is ridiculous,
even for you.
533
00:25:59,958 --> 00:26:01,958
Well, since the
guy won't fuck me,
534
00:26:02,041 --> 00:26:03,711
I might as well fuck with him.
535
00:26:04,916 --> 00:26:07,786
Here. Come on, I'll even...
I'll set it up myself.
536
00:26:22,375 --> 00:26:24,175
Spotted on
the corner of Bedford:
537
00:26:24,250 --> 00:26:27,540
JC donning her best disguise.
538
00:26:32,291 --> 00:26:33,751
And is
she the only one?
539
00:27:13,208 --> 00:27:15,578
Guess we
better run to the box office
540
00:27:15,666 --> 00:27:18,376
to get our own ticket
for tonight's show.
541
00:27:18,458 --> 00:27:21,078
Something is clearly
about to go down.
542
00:27:31,125 --> 00:27:32,665
What in God's name
are you wearing?
543
00:27:33,666 --> 00:27:36,826
Your father thought it advisable
544
00:27:36,916 --> 00:27:37,976
not to ruffle any
feathers tonight.
545
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:42,040
Although, to be honest, I
would rather be wearing them.
546
00:27:42,125 --> 00:27:45,075
- Well, why aren't you, then?
- He said I looked great.
547
00:27:45,166 --> 00:27:45,916
Dignified.
548
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,267
Oh, that's because
you look like him.
549
00:27:47,291 --> 00:27:50,001
- Maximus...
- No, no, wait.
550
00:27:50,083 --> 00:27:53,083
I do not want to ruffle
any feathers either, okay?
551
00:27:53,166 --> 00:27:55,166
But you raised me to be
my most authentic self,
552
00:27:55,250 --> 00:27:57,210
- did you not?
- Of course we did. And you are.
553
00:27:57,291 --> 00:27:58,684
And we wouldn't have
it any other way.
554
00:27:58,708 --> 00:28:01,248
Then you need to start
following your own advice.
555
00:28:01,333 --> 00:28:03,543
Be you. To hell with
what anyone else says.
556
00:28:03,625 --> 00:28:05,785
- Even Pops.
- Oh. I don't know...
557
00:28:05,875 --> 00:28:08,745
Did I not see the most
spectacular Kamali number
558
00:28:08,833 --> 00:28:11,583
in your closet? That would
just be perfect for tonight.
559
00:28:11,666 --> 00:28:13,506
- I know. I did have it tailored.
- Yeah, yeah.
560
00:28:13,583 --> 00:28:17,083
Okay, well I'm excited
to see it on you.
561
00:28:17,166 --> 00:28:18,666
Go. I'll change, too.
562
00:28:43,958 --> 00:28:45,378
Since when do you take a car?
563
00:28:45,458 --> 00:28:47,298
Remind me to learn how
to Citi-bike in a dress?
564
00:28:48,541 --> 00:28:50,061
So this is what you
look like at night?
565
00:28:50,583 --> 00:28:52,673
It, uh... It is now.
566
00:28:54,708 --> 00:28:57,168
It's beautiful.
You're beautiful.
567
00:28:57,583 --> 00:28:58,793
Thank you.
568
00:29:00,875 --> 00:29:02,351
You know, I'm really
glad you invited me
569
00:29:02,375 --> 00:29:04,517
as your plus one tonight. I
feel like it's been forever
570
00:29:04,541 --> 00:29:06,631
since we did something like
this, just the two of us.
571
00:29:06,708 --> 00:29:08,508
Well, I'm really glad
you're back from Berlin.
572
00:29:08,583 --> 00:29:11,133
But you must be exhausted.
You should have coffee.
573
00:29:11,208 --> 00:29:14,668
I heard the play is very
long and full of surprises.
574
00:29:14,750 --> 00:29:16,309
- You're gonna want to be awake.
- Okay.
575
00:29:16,333 --> 00:29:17,453
- I'll be right back.
- Sure.
576
00:29:19,666 --> 00:29:21,416
Hey, what did he say, exactly?
577
00:29:21,500 --> 00:29:22,900
Why don't you just
read it yourself?
578
00:29:24,041 --> 00:29:25,559
He was hesitant at
first but then he asked
579
00:29:25,583 --> 00:29:27,267
if we could come over to
my place next weekend.
580
00:29:27,291 --> 00:29:28,892
That's when my dad's
in London. Okay, um...
581
00:29:28,916 --> 00:29:31,746
Okay, maybe... maybe I do
need to read it for myself?
582
00:29:31,833 --> 00:29:33,673
- What's your password?
- 2046.
583
00:29:33,750 --> 00:29:35,420
Wong Kar-Wai's
unsung masterpiece.
584
00:29:36,583 --> 00:29:37,963
Did you just steal my phone?
585
00:29:41,750 --> 00:29:43,460
Thank God you're
sitting next to us.
586
00:29:43,541 --> 00:29:44,892
I cannot be near Max, or
Aki might put it together.
587
00:29:44,916 --> 00:29:47,746
I really don't think Gossip
Girl was referring to you.
588
00:29:47,833 --> 00:29:49,684
Optically speaking, I would like
to err on the side of caution.
589
00:29:49,708 --> 00:29:51,578
Proximity plus the
wine I'm gonna need
590
00:29:51,666 --> 00:29:53,826
to get through this play
are not a good combo.
591
00:29:58,250 --> 00:29:59,250
What are you looking for?
592
00:30:09,208 --> 00:30:10,788
Hi.
593
00:30:13,541 --> 00:30:14,541
There's Max.
594
00:30:15,958 --> 00:30:19,998
Who knew you liked a grand
romantic gesture so much?
595
00:30:20,083 --> 00:30:21,083
Lola.
596
00:30:22,333 --> 00:30:24,253
- What are you...
- You look surprised.
597
00:30:24,333 --> 00:30:27,713
Yes, I do exist before
the clock strikes 11:00.
598
00:30:27,791 --> 00:30:30,381
Those lily roses with the
ticket tucked and twined?
599
00:30:30,458 --> 00:30:33,498
- So thoughtful.
600
00:30:33,583 --> 00:30:37,383
And opening night, what
a way to go public!
601
00:30:37,458 --> 00:30:40,248
At The Public!
602
00:30:40,333 --> 00:30:43,463
Well, I am so glad it
worked out.
603
00:30:43,541 --> 00:30:44,642
Would you excuse
me for one minute?
604
00:30:44,666 --> 00:30:45,206
I should hit the
bathroom before...
605
00:30:45,291 --> 00:30:47,001
Okay.
606
00:30:47,625 --> 00:30:48,875
I'll be here.
607
00:30:55,833 --> 00:30:57,383
Oh God,
what did you do?
608
00:30:57,458 --> 00:30:58,476
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
609
00:30:58,500 --> 00:31:00,630
Normally I wouldn't accept
a gift from a student.
610
00:31:00,708 --> 00:31:03,078
But I'm a huge fan
of Jeremy's work,
611
00:31:03,166 --> 00:31:04,517
- so thank your dad for me?
- You can thank him yourself.
612
00:31:04,541 --> 00:31:07,041
I'll introduce you
after the show.
613
00:31:08,583 --> 00:31:10,583
You know what? You
deserve a better seat.
614
00:31:10,666 --> 00:31:12,286
Here, take my ticket instead.
615
00:31:16,500 --> 00:31:19,790
- Oh... I need your ticket.
- The extra one you gave me?
616
00:31:19,875 --> 00:31:21,415
No, I need it.
617
00:31:21,500 --> 00:31:23,710
The sacrifices we make
for the theater, darling.
618
00:31:23,791 --> 00:31:25,791
Next time, steal
someone else's plan.
619
00:31:26,541 --> 00:31:28,211
But this is obstructed view!
620
00:31:28,291 --> 00:31:30,081
Well, guess you need
to gain some clarity.
621
00:31:37,041 --> 00:31:40,171
Let the play around
the play begin.
622
00:31:56,291 --> 00:31:58,101
Thought you were supposed
to sit with your dads?
623
00:31:58,125 --> 00:31:59,745
You don't like me in the middle?
624
00:32:02,583 --> 00:32:05,463
Sorry.
- Dude, give me back my phone!
625
00:32:09,125 --> 00:32:13,535
Ooh, looks like someone's been
doing extra credit homework.
626
00:32:13,625 --> 00:32:14,915
What are you guys doing?
627
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,170
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
628
00:32:16,250 --> 00:32:18,130
"AARON features
full frontal nudity,
629
00:32:18,208 --> 00:32:21,998
potentially disturbing
realistically depicted violence,
630
00:32:22,083 --> 00:32:23,833
simulated and
non-simulated sex scenes,
631
00:32:23,916 --> 00:32:27,416
and..."
"audience participation."
632
00:32:27,500 --> 00:32:29,580
Try and put on a
brave face, dear.
633
00:32:29,666 --> 00:32:31,186
It's a miracle the
theater's even open.
634
00:32:34,916 --> 00:32:35,916
What do you know?
635
00:32:36,500 --> 00:32:37,920
Mr. Caparros, right?
636
00:32:38,333 --> 00:32:39,333
Who?
637
00:32:39,416 --> 00:32:41,916
- Max's Classics teacher!
- Of course. Nice to see you.
638
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,000
And please, Rafa.
639
00:32:43,083 --> 00:32:43,673
I don't think you
two know each other.
640
00:32:43,750 --> 00:32:46,000
Uh, no, no. We certainly don't.
641
00:32:46,083 --> 00:32:48,213
- Nice to meet you.
- This is my husband, Roy Sachs.
642
00:32:48,291 --> 00:32:49,976
Honey, I think you had
a walkthrough in Wilton,
643
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,040
the day of parent-teacher
conferences.
644
00:32:52,125 --> 00:32:54,785
I was so thrilled to
learn you're having them
645
00:32:54,875 --> 00:32:57,165
- read Catullus and Ovid this term.
- Mm.
646
00:32:57,250 --> 00:33:03,960
All right, I've got Justin's,
peanut M&Ms and Tate's.
647
00:33:04,041 --> 00:33:06,641
They're the gluten-free ones,
'cause they were out of the regular.
648
00:33:06,708 --> 00:33:08,328
I'm good. Thank you.
649
00:33:08,416 --> 00:33:11,036
- I thought you loved M&Ms.
- I'm just not very hungry.
650
00:33:13,958 --> 00:33:16,708
You know, I saw
Hamilton here with Max,
651
00:33:16,791 --> 00:33:18,001
before it went on Broadway.
652
00:33:19,416 --> 00:33:21,416
You into that play?
653
00:33:22,125 --> 00:33:23,245
No doubt it's a work of art.
654
00:33:25,583 --> 00:33:28,083
- Um, but...
- But what?
655
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,710
What?
656
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:35,420
Of course.
657
00:33:35,500 --> 00:33:37,420
I thought you were coming
here with your dad?
658
00:33:37,500 --> 00:33:39,960
I don't have to tell you who
I am or am not here with.
659
00:33:42,041 --> 00:33:43,251
It's the least you can do.
660
00:33:50,250 --> 00:33:52,630
- Can you remove your hat?
- Uh... No.
661
00:33:52,708 --> 00:33:53,809
Who's that that your... Who's
that that your dad's with?
662
00:33:53,833 --> 00:33:56,583
Why? Do you want
to date her, too?
663
00:34:05,833 --> 00:34:06,833
That's my...
664
00:34:09,041 --> 00:34:11,001
- She's my...
- Your daughter?
665
00:34:12,416 --> 00:34:14,746
Who I now realize I
met the other night.
666
00:34:17,166 --> 00:34:19,206
You didn't invite
me here, did you?
667
00:34:20,541 --> 00:34:24,041
LX 1. LX 2, go.
668
00:34:24,750 --> 00:34:25,750
Aaron, go.
669
00:34:38,125 --> 00:34:39,245
What?
670
00:34:40,666 --> 00:34:42,416
What?
671
00:34:42,500 --> 00:34:44,920
Have I not arrived
as you assumed I would?
672
00:34:45,541 --> 00:34:47,581
Like a black dog.
673
00:34:48,541 --> 00:34:49,541
As the saying is...
674
00:34:53,291 --> 00:34:55,671
You do know who I am, right?
675
00:34:57,208 --> 00:34:58,708
The inhuman dog.
676
00:35:00,250 --> 00:35:02,540
Unhallowed slave.
677
00:35:04,500 --> 00:35:07,460
Who said it first?
678
00:35:09,583 --> 00:35:10,583
You...
679
00:35:12,250 --> 00:35:13,380
Who said it first?
680
00:35:16,625 --> 00:35:19,035
My... ...father
said it of my father!
681
00:35:25,208 --> 00:35:28,168
So, what'd you think? It
was pretty intense, huh?
682
00:35:31,291 --> 00:35:33,501
And you're still shocked, I see.
683
00:35:33,583 --> 00:35:34,713
There's a four-block rule.
684
00:35:34,791 --> 00:35:36,517
You can't talk about the work
until you're four blocks away.
685
00:35:36,541 --> 00:35:39,711
I've never known you to wait
half a block to say anything.
686
00:35:39,791 --> 00:35:41,131
Thank you.
687
00:35:42,125 --> 00:35:44,415
Now you're turning down
lemongrass chicken?
688
00:35:44,500 --> 00:35:46,300
The play was, like, four
hours long, I mean...
689
00:35:48,333 --> 00:35:50,543
Well, you must be... starving.
690
00:35:52,041 --> 00:35:54,171
I'll be right back.
691
00:35:55,041 --> 00:35:59,461
- Hey. Hey. We need to talk.
- Do we?
692
00:35:59,541 --> 00:36:00,331
Because I'm pretty
sure whatever you say,
693
00:36:00,416 --> 00:36:02,456
you'll be leaving
a lot out as usual.
694
00:36:02,541 --> 00:36:04,631
- What you did tonight was...
- Oh, I'm at fault?
695
00:36:04,708 --> 00:36:08,328
Do I have a secret apartment? A
secret partner, a secret life?
696
00:36:08,416 --> 00:36:10,666
It was never my intention
to hide anything from you.
697
00:36:10,750 --> 00:36:14,500
But you did. And you didn't
just hide it, you lied.
698
00:36:14,583 --> 00:36:16,423
All of these trips you
take, how many are real
699
00:36:16,500 --> 00:36:18,250
and how many are
ten blocks away?
700
00:36:18,333 --> 00:36:20,713
- It's not that simp...
- Okay, yeah.
701
00:36:20,791 --> 00:36:23,961
I guess we just have more
in common than I realized.
702
00:36:24,041 --> 00:36:26,881
We both have a public
life and a private one.
703
00:36:26,958 --> 00:36:28,628
I don't want to do that anymore.
704
00:36:28,708 --> 00:36:32,248
- Hey, Julien. I am sorry...
- It's not your fault.
705
00:36:32,833 --> 00:36:34,253
But a tip?
706
00:36:34,333 --> 00:36:37,094
You should probably find someone who
isn't afraid to be seen with you.
707
00:36:45,125 --> 00:36:47,035
Burton emailed me my
interrogation time.
708
00:36:47,125 --> 00:36:50,375
During school hours,
like...
709
00:36:50,458 --> 00:36:52,828
I guess it's more important to
talk to a bunch of black hats
710
00:36:52,916 --> 00:36:54,456
about an anonymous
Instagram account
711
00:36:54,541 --> 00:36:57,001
- than actually teach students?
- It's not anonymous to you.
712
00:36:57,083 --> 00:37:00,293
George doesn't
understand our little social experiment.
713
00:37:00,375 --> 00:37:01,955
He went to public
school in Suburbia
714
00:37:02,041 --> 00:37:03,791
where everybody was
nice to each other.
715
00:37:03,875 --> 00:37:05,455
This isn't something
to joke about.
716
00:37:05,541 --> 00:37:07,131
That firm exposed billionaires,
717
00:37:07,208 --> 00:37:09,958
uncovered massive corporate
security breaches.
718
00:37:10,041 --> 00:37:12,101
They worked for Weinstein. You
think you can outsmart them?
719
00:37:12,125 --> 00:37:15,575
I did place a firewall
on the school servers.
720
00:37:15,666 --> 00:37:16,851
These people invented firewalls.
721
00:37:16,875 --> 00:37:20,165
You should quit now before your
entire careers are destroyed.
722
00:37:20,250 --> 00:37:22,790
I understand your
concerns, George.
723
00:37:22,875 --> 00:37:26,785
But the school board doesn't
actually care about Gossip Girl.
724
00:37:26,875 --> 00:37:28,285
They just hate the noise.
725
00:37:28,375 --> 00:37:30,665
We're in the midst
of figuring out a way
726
00:37:30,750 --> 00:37:32,017
- to quiet it all down.
727
00:37:32,041 --> 00:37:36,001
You're my wife. I
can't help but worry.
728
00:37:36,083 --> 00:37:37,503
You know why I was fired?
729
00:37:37,583 --> 00:37:39,833
My boss, a father
at your school,
730
00:37:39,916 --> 00:37:43,206
knew I knew he had
expensed escorts.
731
00:37:43,291 --> 00:37:44,921
That's why
we're doing this.
732
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,670
To hold these people and
their kids accountable.
733
00:37:48,833 --> 00:37:52,583
- You could expose him.
- I've already lost my job.
734
00:37:52,666 --> 00:37:54,586
I don't want to lose my
integrity on top of that.
735
00:37:55,416 --> 00:37:58,246
Besides, privilege and power,
736
00:37:58,333 --> 00:38:01,673
no matter how amoral, will
always win in the end.
737
00:38:01,750 --> 00:38:04,960
And the people at the bottom
will always end up with nothing.
738
00:38:05,041 --> 00:38:07,961
People like us. Sorry,
where's your bathroom?
739
00:38:08,041 --> 00:38:09,831
Um... Just down the
hall, to the left.
740
00:38:15,500 --> 00:38:17,460
We are a bit wrapped up in it.
741
00:38:17,541 --> 00:38:19,921
Well, of course we
are. We created it.
742
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:21,460
Maybe we should be considering
743
00:38:21,541 --> 00:38:23,711
if it's worth risking
everything we care about?
744
00:38:23,791 --> 00:38:26,381
I like being a
teacher. Don't you?
745
00:38:30,375 --> 00:38:32,665
I'll get us
another bottle.
746
00:38:38,541 --> 00:38:40,171
Did we just get fucked?
747
00:38:41,375 --> 00:38:42,625
I loved it.
748
00:38:42,708 --> 00:38:45,878
But it'd be committing theatrical
seppuku to transfer it.
749
00:38:45,958 --> 00:38:50,378
It would close in a week,
especially without a star.
750
00:38:50,458 --> 00:38:52,958
I just wish it wasn't
so confrontational.
751
00:38:53,041 --> 00:38:56,631
I mean, even Taylor Mac
added farce to his Titus.
752
00:38:56,708 --> 00:38:57,418
And it still flopped.
753
00:38:57,500 --> 00:38:59,500
I guess it's Ivo's
gender-swapped.
754
00:38:59,583 --> 00:39:01,633
My Fair Lady with
Gyllenhaal instead?
755
00:39:01,708 --> 00:39:02,208
Are you kidding me?
756
00:39:04,416 --> 00:39:06,267
Hey, where've you been?
I've been looking for you.
757
00:39:06,291 --> 00:39:09,211
- Obie. Do you know...
- A provocative play like AARON
758
00:39:09,291 --> 00:39:11,581
is exactly what Broadway
needs after a year on pause.
759
00:39:11,666 --> 00:39:14,326
What it doesn't is another
"revisal" of... of anything.
760
00:39:14,416 --> 00:39:16,416
Especially one devised
by white people,
761
00:39:16,500 --> 00:39:18,250
about white people,
starring white people.
762
00:39:18,333 --> 00:39:20,833
That's why the theater
was invented, right?
763
00:39:20,916 --> 00:39:24,996
To challenge audience members to...
to think beyond their own narratives.
764
00:39:25,083 --> 00:39:26,803
I mean, come on, have
you never read Shange?
765
00:39:27,333 --> 00:39:28,793
Albee? Fornés?
766
00:39:29,833 --> 00:39:32,833
- Hey. Who are you?
Oh, hi, Jeremy.
767
00:39:32,916 --> 00:39:35,036
Oh. I'm no one.
768
00:39:35,125 --> 00:39:37,075
You seem very much
like someone to me.
769
00:39:37,166 --> 00:39:38,726
Let's find a less
confrontational space.
770
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,000
And have a little talk.
771
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,000
Hey, excuse us.
772
00:39:50,666 --> 00:39:52,286
Um... Hey.
773
00:39:52,375 --> 00:39:55,785
Sorry about messaging
you at the theater...
774
00:39:55,875 --> 00:39:59,205
About that. I think you might have
me confused with someone else.
775
00:39:59,291 --> 00:40:02,831
Hey, Pops! Don't leave me and
Dad out of the conversation!
776
00:40:02,916 --> 00:40:04,101
Max, I was talking to my friend.
777
00:40:04,125 --> 00:40:07,785
Oh, you're gonna want to talk
to these two more, trust me.
778
00:40:07,875 --> 00:40:09,455
Do you want to tell
him or should I?
779
00:40:09,541 --> 00:40:10,541
Want to tell him what?
780
00:40:11,541 --> 00:40:12,541
Tell me what?
781
00:40:13,541 --> 00:40:15,041
- I'm confused...
- Max.
782
00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:19,998
Pops is on Scruff.
783
00:40:21,416 --> 00:40:23,697
Yeah, he's got an active profile
that says "newly single."
784
00:40:23,750 --> 00:40:28,130
And he's been messaging guys
with the intention of cheating.
785
00:40:28,208 --> 00:40:29,748
This guy in particular.
786
00:40:29,833 --> 00:40:32,503
Hey, Max. Max, that's enough.
Stop. Stop it. Give me that.
787
00:40:32,583 --> 00:40:33,923
- Stop that!
- Wait, you did this?
788
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:35,830
With Max's teacher?
789
00:40:35,916 --> 00:40:38,996
Yes, I did, but...
- Not with me, no. It...
790
00:40:39,083 --> 00:40:40,483
What do you
mean, not with you?
791
00:40:41,541 --> 00:40:43,461
I think your son can explain.
792
00:40:43,541 --> 00:40:45,251
What does he have
to do with this?
793
00:40:45,333 --> 00:40:47,583
He deserved to know the truth.
794
00:40:47,666 --> 00:40:49,916
- Did you pretend...
- Well, not me, but...
795
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:51,500
Is it true?
796
00:40:51,583 --> 00:40:53,673
- Is it true?
- Nothing happened.
797
00:40:53,750 --> 00:40:55,510
All right, it was just
talk, it was all talk.
798
00:40:55,583 --> 00:40:56,892
But you wanted
something to happen.
799
00:40:56,916 --> 00:40:59,666
I just wanted to talk and
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
800
00:40:59,750 --> 00:41:01,809
I don't understand why you
would do something like this.
801
00:41:01,833 --> 00:41:04,043
Oh, God!
802
00:41:04,125 --> 00:41:05,165
Look, Gideon, I love you.
803
00:41:05,250 --> 00:41:07,460
But when I fell in love with
you, you were different.
804
00:41:09,333 --> 00:41:11,173
You've changed. And
I'm not sure I...
805
00:41:12,791 --> 00:41:14,101
I don't even know
if I'm able to...
806
00:41:14,125 --> 00:41:16,535
Still be attracted to me.
807
00:41:16,625 --> 00:41:20,535
- With all this.
- I still love you.
808
00:41:20,625 --> 00:41:22,875
- I do, but...
- But you like it masc?
809
00:41:23,666 --> 00:41:24,786
Is that it?
810
00:41:24,875 --> 00:41:26,455
And instead of talking
to me about it,
811
00:41:26,541 --> 00:41:28,331
you were gonna fuck
some other guys
812
00:41:28,416 --> 00:41:30,626
- so you can feel it again?
- No, no. Of course not.
813
00:41:30,708 --> 00:41:32,288
I still want you, only you.
814
00:41:32,375 --> 00:41:34,535
You want the version of me
you're comfortable with.
815
00:41:34,625 --> 00:41:36,101
The one I felt I still had
to be when we first met.
816
00:41:36,125 --> 00:41:37,535
But not who I am.
817
00:41:38,833 --> 00:41:40,333
I'm growing.
818
00:41:41,166 --> 00:41:42,916
But after almost
20 years together,
819
00:41:43,041 --> 00:41:44,309
I'm shocked you can't
see that the only thing
820
00:41:44,333 --> 00:41:47,753
that has changed here is you.
821
00:41:55,083 --> 00:41:56,083
Why?
822
00:41:57,458 --> 00:42:02,248
- Why would you do that to me?
- Why would you do this to us?
823
00:42:23,583 --> 00:42:27,133
Obie. What are
you doing out here?
824
00:42:27,208 --> 00:42:29,208
I was looking for you. I
thought that you had left.
825
00:42:29,291 --> 00:42:31,131
Oh, Jeremy actually
asked me to...
826
00:42:33,291 --> 00:42:36,751
- You're upset.
- No.
827
00:42:36,833 --> 00:42:39,463
Is it because of what I said
earlier, about the play?
828
00:42:39,541 --> 00:42:42,381
I mean, I was in the middle of
speaking and you just kinda left.
829
00:42:43,125 --> 00:42:44,535
I was just confused.
830
00:42:44,625 --> 00:42:47,625
'Cause you've been
so weird all night.
831
00:42:47,708 --> 00:42:49,998
And then suddenly
you're yourself again
832
00:42:50,083 --> 00:42:52,883
and then you ditch me. So...
833
00:42:55,208 --> 00:43:00,078
Okay, when I showed up tonight
and you liked how I looked,
834
00:43:00,166 --> 00:43:04,126
I thought maybe while you said
you wanted something different,
835
00:43:04,208 --> 00:43:06,748
you're actually pretty comfortable
with what you already know.
836
00:43:06,833 --> 00:43:08,543
The perfect picture
by your side.
837
00:43:09,291 --> 00:43:10,671
But that's not me.
838
00:43:10,750 --> 00:43:14,500
I'm gonna say the wrong thing
and sweat through my clothes
839
00:43:14,583 --> 00:43:17,293
and eat in the middle
of the sidewalk. I...
840
00:43:17,375 --> 00:43:19,705
I want you to be who you are.
841
00:43:19,791 --> 00:43:23,001
All right, you understand
why I ended it with Julien.
842
00:43:23,083 --> 00:43:25,543
Yeah. You couldn't
find her anymore.
843
00:43:27,083 --> 00:43:29,683
But have you thought about how you
might have contributed to that?
844
00:43:31,416 --> 00:43:34,076
That you didn't lose her
but she got lost behind you?
845
00:43:34,166 --> 00:43:36,226
I mean, it's really hard to
date the prince of New York
846
00:43:36,250 --> 00:43:38,460
when even he won't admit
that that's who he is.
847
00:43:52,583 --> 00:43:55,753
- Do you mind if I, um...
- Do the right thing?
848
00:43:57,333 --> 00:43:58,423
Never.
849
00:44:00,791 --> 00:44:01,881
Hey, Jules.
850
00:44:01,958 --> 00:44:03,708
- No, thank you.
- I wanna talk.
851
00:44:03,791 --> 00:44:06,131
All right, just really talk.
852
00:44:12,333 --> 00:44:14,753
I know, um...
853
00:44:16,666 --> 00:44:18,996
I know that I said that I
didn't like who you'd become.
854
00:44:19,833 --> 00:44:21,173
I, uh...
855
00:44:21,250 --> 00:44:24,670
I... I definitely should have
856
00:44:24,750 --> 00:44:26,960
realized and accepted
some responsibility
857
00:44:27,041 --> 00:44:28,131
for my part of that.
858
00:44:29,833 --> 00:44:33,333
Maybe, I was more comfortable
not knowing, because...
859
00:44:34,791 --> 00:44:36,381
You know, if I had
looked too closely,
860
00:44:36,458 --> 00:44:37,788
I might see some of myself, too.
861
00:44:40,125 --> 00:44:41,825
I spent so much time.
862
00:44:41,916 --> 00:44:44,197
putting forward
this idea of me, that I just
863
00:44:45,833 --> 00:44:47,083
forgot who I was a little.
864
00:44:49,166 --> 00:44:52,246
Like my dad has. Like
everyone has, apparently.
865
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,790
Except for her.
866
00:45:02,583 --> 00:45:03,703
It's no wonder you like her.
867
00:45:07,541 --> 00:45:11,501
I think... You know, I
think that you deserve
868
00:45:11,583 --> 00:45:12,863
someone who sees you, who, um
869
00:45:15,291 --> 00:45:16,421
sees all of you.
870
00:45:18,416 --> 00:45:20,496
And maybe
I needed you to walk away
871
00:45:20,583 --> 00:45:22,503
to see that I could
stand on my own.
872
00:45:45,041 --> 00:45:46,461
- Hello?
Reema? It's Wendy.
873
00:45:46,541 --> 00:45:49,381
I know I shouldn't
tell you this,
874
00:45:49,458 --> 00:45:51,708
but a tip came into
the Gossip Girl DMs
875
00:45:51,791 --> 00:45:54,631
a few weeks ago about your
husband's former boss,
876
00:45:54,708 --> 00:45:57,308
and Kate didn't want to tell you.
She thought you might get upset.
877
00:45:57,333 --> 00:45:58,133
Oh, my God, really?
878
00:45:58,208 --> 00:46:00,248
What was it?
879
00:46:00,333 --> 00:46:01,673
One of the
escorts he hired
880
00:46:01,750 --> 00:46:03,670
was a senior at Constance.
881
00:46:03,750 --> 00:46:06,210
I mean, do with
that what you will.
882
00:46:06,291 --> 00:46:07,731
But I just figured
you'd want to know
883
00:46:07,791 --> 00:46:10,501
in case you felt compelled
to expose the truth
884
00:46:10,583 --> 00:46:11,713
one final time.
885
00:46:11,791 --> 00:46:15,671
Might even get your
husband's old boss fired,
886
00:46:15,750 --> 00:46:16,920
get his job back.
887
00:46:17,958 --> 00:46:19,878
That's a lot to hear. Uh...
888
00:46:21,916 --> 00:46:23,536
I can't believe
Kate didn't tell me.
889
00:46:23,625 --> 00:46:24,665
Which is why I am.
890
00:46:24,750 --> 00:46:27,250
Listen, if you do want
to do something with it,
891
00:46:27,333 --> 00:46:28,793
remember the firewall.
892
00:46:28,875 --> 00:46:32,285
You're protected only at
school during school hours.
893
00:46:32,375 --> 00:46:34,705
We all have the password.
894
00:46:48,375 --> 00:46:49,642
Should we last-call him
before it's too late?
895
00:46:49,666 --> 00:46:54,626
Oh, fuck.
Here.
896
00:46:55,625 --> 00:46:57,325
Maybe it's time to
call it a night?
897
00:46:57,416 --> 00:46:59,706
And why would I do that?
898
00:46:59,791 --> 00:47:01,461
Because you're a
bit out of control?
899
00:47:01,541 --> 00:47:02,559
That's what you like, isn't
it? To relinquish control.
900
00:47:02,583 --> 00:47:05,133
Or is that only with
me. I tell you what,
901
00:47:05,208 --> 00:47:07,128
let's ask some of
your other candidates?
902
00:47:07,208 --> 00:47:09,708
- Max, don't...
- We got... We got Judd.
903
00:47:09,791 --> 00:47:14,251
Uh, Phuc?
Robert? Oh, he's cute.
904
00:47:14,333 --> 00:47:16,213
Is that... Is that your phone?
905
00:47:16,291 --> 00:47:17,921
Why is that on your
phone? What is this?
906
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:18,790
He's lying. It's his phone.
907
00:47:18,875 --> 00:47:20,875
He's just really
fucked up right now...
908
00:47:20,958 --> 00:47:22,288
Correct. Check.
909
00:47:22,375 --> 00:47:24,955
I am... I'm outside
my boundaries now,
910
00:47:25,041 --> 00:47:26,331
just like both of you.
911
00:47:26,416 --> 00:47:28,826
In fact, I am so outside
that I don't know
912
00:47:28,916 --> 00:47:31,326
if you're gonna be able
to hear me when I say
913
00:47:31,416 --> 00:47:33,416
I'm not the only one
who fucked up here.
914
00:47:33,500 --> 00:47:34,790
You fucked up, too.
915
00:47:34,875 --> 00:47:37,535
You fucked me.
And you wanted to.
916
00:47:37,625 --> 00:47:40,915
God, come on, it is time
that we all stopped hiding
917
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:42,750
and started being who
we really are, right?
918
00:47:42,833 --> 00:47:46,333
Right? Okay, no more
lies. Only truths. Okay.
919
00:47:46,416 --> 00:47:50,206
So I will go first as the
only truth-teller here.
920
00:47:50,291 --> 00:47:53,791
You guys, you just, you don't
do it for each other anymore.
921
00:47:53,875 --> 00:47:56,495
You just do me. But
you can't have me.
922
00:47:56,583 --> 00:47:58,583
Nobody can have me.
923
00:47:58,666 --> 00:48:02,706
I am not even here. I am
gone. And end fucking scene.
924
00:48:20,083 --> 00:48:23,253
- Where's Lola?
- I sent her home.
925
00:48:23,333 --> 00:48:26,003
- Oh, to your pied-affair?
Cute.
926
00:48:26,083 --> 00:48:28,543
And no. To her own apartment.
927
00:48:29,666 --> 00:48:32,456
You know, when you were a kid,
928
00:48:32,541 --> 00:48:35,461
I wanted you to feel like you
were the only woman in my life.
929
00:48:36,125 --> 00:48:37,125
Because you are.
930
00:48:38,500 --> 00:48:39,380
So I made a choice
931
00:48:39,458 --> 00:48:42,708
that I would always keep
my dating life private.
932
00:48:42,791 --> 00:48:46,831
And I think I forgot
that you grew up
933
00:48:46,916 --> 00:48:48,126
and can handle the truth.
934
00:48:50,083 --> 00:48:51,423
I couldn't be more sorry.
935
00:48:53,250 --> 00:48:54,830
I never want to
lie to you again.
936
00:48:54,916 --> 00:48:58,746
I think that we can
both agree to do better.
937
00:48:58,833 --> 00:49:00,673
That we can live our
lives more honestly,
938
00:49:00,750 --> 00:49:02,460
with ourselves and
with each other.
939
00:49:09,083 --> 00:49:10,203
I'd really like to meet her.
940
00:49:20,250 --> 00:49:22,250
So does the Four Block Rule
941
00:49:22,333 --> 00:49:24,173
still apply on the
Upper West Side?
942
00:49:24,250 --> 00:49:26,670
I guess that depends on the
subject being discussed.
943
00:49:27,583 --> 00:49:29,063
- What if I whisper it?
- No promises.
944
00:49:31,166 --> 00:49:35,166
I'd really like to kiss
you right now.
945
00:50:03,875 --> 00:50:05,415
You put on a real show tonight.
946
00:50:08,916 --> 00:50:10,436
There's another one
tomorrow, I'm sure.
947
00:50:13,250 --> 00:50:14,830
I don't appreciate being used.
948
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:17,960
I had no idea it would
blow up like that.
949
00:50:19,458 --> 00:50:21,498
What did you think would happen?
950
00:50:21,583 --> 00:50:23,633
You know, that my
dads would realize
951
00:50:23,708 --> 00:50:25,498
that they were being
stupid and just talk?
952
00:50:25,583 --> 00:50:26,793
But I fucked it up.
953
00:50:26,875 --> 00:50:28,625
No, it would have
come out eventually.
954
00:50:29,125 --> 00:50:30,875
It always does.
955
00:50:30,958 --> 00:50:32,809
Yeah, I know.
But I just didn't realize
956
00:50:32,833 --> 00:50:34,633
it would hurt this
fucking much when it did.
957
00:50:49,208 --> 00:50:52,168
You know
why the play's the thing?
958
00:50:54,416 --> 00:50:57,916
Because it holds up a
mirror to our own lives.
959
00:51:07,291 --> 00:51:10,831
Sometimes it's about
staying true to your private self.
960
00:51:16,750 --> 00:51:20,460
Or leaving
your public self behind.
961
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:34,460
Sometimes, it's about
confronting a painful reality...
962
00:51:40,708 --> 00:51:43,918
Or sublimating
your deepest fantasies.
963
00:51:46,833 --> 00:51:47,883
Hi.
964
00:51:48,416 --> 00:51:49,456
Did you like it?
965
00:51:52,416 --> 00:51:54,166
I didn't
966
00:51:55,791 --> 00:51:57,581
not like it.
967
00:51:59,625 --> 00:52:02,455
But I never want to
do it again. Do you?
968
00:52:03,041 --> 00:52:04,041
Of course not.
969
00:52:06,791 --> 00:52:10,381
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, too.
970
00:52:16,166 --> 00:52:18,826
Isn't it all
a performance, anyway?
971
00:52:20,791 --> 00:52:21,791
It's my own fault.
972
00:52:23,625 --> 00:52:25,285
When I got that tip
about George's boss,
973
00:52:25,375 --> 00:52:27,665
I couldn't resist posting it.
974
00:52:27,750 --> 00:52:30,040
But at least now you know
your firewall didn't work.
975
00:52:30,125 --> 00:52:31,665
It could've happened
to any of us.
976
00:52:31,750 --> 00:52:33,880
We're so sorry it was you.
977
00:52:33,958 --> 00:52:35,892
And don't worry, I didn't
crack during the interrogation.
978
00:52:35,916 --> 00:52:37,126
Your identities are safe.
979
00:52:38,791 --> 00:52:39,791
I'll miss you both.
980
00:52:47,708 --> 00:52:50,328
Did you turn
the firewall back on?
981
00:52:50,416 --> 00:52:53,626
- God. Why do I feel so terrible?
- We didn't have a choice.
982
00:52:53,708 --> 00:52:55,078
It was her or us.
983
00:52:55,166 --> 00:52:58,036
And now, we don't have
to be nervous anymore.
984
00:52:58,125 --> 00:53:00,245
Wendy's contacts at
Horace Mann and Dalton
985
00:53:00,333 --> 00:53:02,423
confirmed they'd start
sending in tips, too.
986
00:53:02,500 --> 00:53:04,330
So did mine at
Nightingale and Spence.
987
00:53:04,416 --> 00:53:06,626
Which means Gossip
Girl's gone citywide.
988
00:53:06,708 --> 00:53:08,378
The target's off our back.
989
00:53:08,458 --> 00:53:10,788
And impossible to
trace. Bigger than ever.
990
00:53:12,041 --> 00:53:14,581
She used the tip.
We didn't make her.
991
00:53:15,166 --> 00:53:15,206
Didn't we, though?
992
00:53:22,791 --> 00:53:23,711
Yet no
costume can conceal
993
00:53:23,791 --> 00:53:26,251
what you don't want me to see.
994
00:53:26,333 --> 00:53:28,173
Sooner or later, the
clothes come off,
995
00:53:28,250 --> 00:53:33,580
the makeup washes away
and the real you emerges.
996
00:53:33,666 --> 00:53:38,326
Your secrets, your sins,
your truths, your lies.
997
00:53:38,416 --> 00:53:41,206
- Hi. Where have you been?
- It's story time!
998
00:53:41,291 --> 00:53:42,731
Peak posting hour
is about to strike.
999
00:53:44,791 --> 00:53:46,211
I left my phone at home.
1000
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:52,500
Um... Okay. No one panic.
1001
00:53:52,583 --> 00:53:53,793
I'll log in on my phone.
1002
00:53:53,875 --> 00:53:54,976
And we can download
your presets.
1003
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:58,080
- And we can figure it out...
- I left it intentionally.
1004
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:00,290
Consider me offline today.
1005
00:54:03,750 --> 00:54:06,250
Okay, you tried. But Zoya's
clearly not playing along.
1006
00:54:06,333 --> 00:54:09,333
It's time that we reinstate
order as it once was.
1007
00:54:09,416 --> 00:54:10,696
And that means JC on top, alone.
1008
00:54:12,375 --> 00:54:15,205
Oh! That Buffal-ho needs to go.
1009
00:54:16,583 --> 00:54:22,713
I have intel. If we used it,
Little Z would be sistory.
1010
00:54:23,166 --> 00:54:24,166
Dites-moi.
1011
00:54:25,625 --> 00:54:27,184
If they don't
start a war themselves,
1012
00:54:27,208 --> 00:54:28,688
we'll just have to
start one for them.
1013
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:31,392
All the
world may be a stage,
1014
00:54:31,416 --> 00:54:35,956
but on the Upper East Side,
the play doesn't matter.
1015
00:54:36,750 --> 00:54:38,750
It's all in the execution.
1016
00:54:39,333 --> 00:54:42,333
XOXO, Gossip Girl.
79486
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