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1
00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:05,344
One slice with anchovy and garlic.
2
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:08,552
It's a good call. In your case, it'll
actually make your breath smell better.
3
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:12,258
Ooh, I'd say don't kiss
your girlfriend with that mouth,
4
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:14,755
but, uh, I've seen your girlfriend.
5
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:15,848
She deserves it.
6
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:20,397
Remember, this is one
of those insult restaurants.
7
00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:22,938
They say mean stuff to the customers,
but it's just for fun.
8
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,903
I know, Bernstein.
9
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,243
You told me 47 times.
10
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:30,988
"They're gonna insult you, Crash."
"Don't get mad, Crash."
11
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:32,452
I'm not a child.
12
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:34,372
I do understand things.
13
00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:38,286
-Hey, what can I get for you jerks?
-I will end you!
14
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,331
-[Crash grunting]
-No, no!
15
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:41,825
[screams]
16
00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:43,996
-No, no!
-[ragged breaths]
17
00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:45,705
Who is this dummy?
18
00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:47,915
I'm guessing it's not the first time
he's been held back.
19
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,632
I'll take a slice.
20
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,597
Oh, by the way, you have
something gross on your face.
21
00:00:53,678 --> 00:00:55,428
Oh, wait. That is your face.
22
00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:57,063
[chuckles]
23
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:59,560
-Hey, is my sister Amanda here?
-Oh, the new girl?
24
00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:01,442
Yeah, she's here.
25
00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:02,519
Between me and you,
26
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,944
I don't think she's getting
the hang of the whole insult thing yet.
27
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:06,943
Enjoy your pizza.
28
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:09,605
I mean, don't enjoy it!
29
00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,824
I'm sorry, I did not mean that.
30
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,945
Oh, I like your shoes.
31
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:16,702
Amanda, you're a good waitress,
32
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:19,535
but your insults are an insult to insults.
33
00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:22,671
Also, you're not a good waitress.
34
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:26,339
Look, if you want this job,
you got to get mean. Okay, watch this.
35
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:28,459
Hey, waste of space,
36
00:01:28,546 --> 00:01:30,506
I know pimples with better personalities.
37
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:33,470
Really? Because my pimple needs a friend.
38
00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:37,099
Does your pimple like table tennis?
39
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,640
Because mine does not.
40
00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:40,893
Who has bad hand-eye coordination?
41
00:01:40,975 --> 00:01:44,555
You do. Yes, you do.
42
00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,816
Boop, boop, boop.
43
00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,438
-You want in on this?
-No.
44
00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:54,198
♪ Let me tell youabout the Bernsteins ♪
45
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,160
♪ Yo, I'ma let you finish ♪
46
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,951
-♪ But ding-dong ♪
-♪ Who's that? ♪
47
00:01:58,034 --> 00:01:59,124
♪ Yo, it's Crash at the door ♪
48
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,792
♪ Don't wait for you to openKick it down hard core ♪
49
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:04,081
♪ A purple with a 'tudeWhere your mom hide the food? ♪
50
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:06,835
-♪ In the fridge ♪
-♪ I'ma eat it then we tear it up, dude ♪
51
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,548
♪ No make-up or feelingsTea parties or dolls ♪
52
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,628
♪ Now it's ninjas and football ♪
53
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:11,884
- ♪ And face slams ♪
- ♪ Good call ♪
54
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,085
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
55
00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:14,344
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
56
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:15,796
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
57
00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:16,715
♪ What he said ♪
58
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,103
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
59
00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,509
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
60
00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:20,927
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
61
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:21,976
♪ What he said ♪
62
00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:23,518
♪ It's war against awesomeBut awesome's gotta soar ♪
63
00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:26,941
-♪ I'll be grounded forever ♪
-♪ That's what friends are for ♪
64
00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,152
♪ Crash and BernsteinCrash and Bernstein ♪
65
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:30,982
-♪ Crash and Bern... ♪
-♪ I said "Stein" ♪
66
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,777
♪ What he said ♪
67
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:35,570
[chuckles]
68
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:44,083
I've always wanted a show
on the school TV network.
69
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,884
Finally, everyone will know how cool I am.
70
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,380
Except anyone who heard me say that.
71
00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,974
We'll be living the dream, Bernstein.
72
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:58,390
Just you, me and my pimple.
73
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,256
That thing gets more nasty every day.
74
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,428
You need to pop it
75
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:04,805
or you're gonna have to start wearing
half a bra.
76
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:07,063
No way. If I pop it,
77
00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,765
what would I rub on your towels
every day for good luck?
78
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,146
How about nothing?
79
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,152
Rub nothing on my towels!
80
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:14,534
[grunts]
81
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:17,661
Guys, I'm super excited
for our first show.
82
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:21,369
As your producer,
I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.
83
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,869
It's pretty simple. Just get out
of our way, so we can do the show.
84
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:27,746
I can do that.
85
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:34,007
Hey, I'm Wyatt. This is Crash.
And this is our theme song.
86
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:37,089
♪ The Wyatt and Crash ShowWe don't have a theme song ♪
87
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,585
♪ We hate theme songs,But we do like socks! ♪
88
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,769
Our guest today is the school librarian
89
00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:47,309
who has something very important
she wants to tell us.
90
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,524
Go ahead, Mrs. Flores.
91
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:50,774
[Crash] Shh!
92
00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:52,315
How do you like it?!
93
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,071
Now it's time
for everyone's favorite segment.
94
00:03:57,153 --> 00:04:00,783
-[game show music]
-[Crash and Bernstein]: "Can Pesto sing?"
95
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,001
[harmonic note plays]
96
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:11,581
♪ Camptown ladiesSing this song ♪
97
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,168
♪ Doo dahDoo dah ♪
98
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,883
-[buzzer blares]
-♪ Camptown--♪
99
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:16,880
No, he cannot.
100
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:19,677
Now for something
a little easier on the ears...
101
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:23,639
Random explosion!
102
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:27,142
[explosions]
103
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:33,608
Oh. Hi, welcome back.
104
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:34,940
It's been a crazy show.
105
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:37,435
So let's inject
a much needed dose of culture.
106
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:40,237
And bash each other...
107
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:41,531
-[paper rustles]
-[Crash grunts]
108
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:44,034
[Crash and Bernstein]
With famous paintings.
109
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,333
[screams]
110
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,833
[screams]
111
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:59,090
Before we go, we'd like to thank
our sponsors, Bill and Janine Cudiff
112
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:00,844
from the Cudiff Art Foundation.
113
00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:03,345
[snickering]
114
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,348
[laughing]
115
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:10,137
Okay, everyone, prepare to be insulted.
116
00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:14,234
Use a fork, Princess Glitter.
Were you raised in a barn?
117
00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:18,111
I am so sorry, Mrs. Oinkenberg.
118
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,743
I respect your lifestyle.
119
00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:24,737
Hi, Amanda. I see you've gathered
some like-minded individuals
120
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,954
for a nut-ball convention.
I'll just back out slowly.
121
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,076
No, Cleo, wait.
122
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,542
I'm trying to practice my insults,
but I stink.
123
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,123
Yeah, you do stink.
124
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:36,588
But this isn't about your bathing habits.
It's about your insults.
125
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,472
Hey, how did you do that? You trashed me.
126
00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:43,678
It's a skill and a pleasure.
Watch and learn.
127
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:47,305
Hey, which princess are you?
128
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,597
Sleeping ugly?
129
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,981
Hey, Leo, nice haircut...
130
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,440
Is what no girl lion
Would say...
131
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:55,521
Ever.
132
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,145
Aww.
133
00:05:57,232 --> 00:06:00,612
I could almost see the tears
in his little lion eyes.
134
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:04,236
You have to come help me out
at the pizza place.
135
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,532
Fine, but I'm keeping your tips.
136
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,536
Whatever, I don't get any.
137
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,540
Guys. Guys, the show's in trouble.
138
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:17,674
Our last episode got fewer likes
on the school website
139
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,712
than the Math Club Beauty Pageant.
140
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,756
All right, Bernstein,
141
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,760
You start studying your Algebra.
I'll shave my legs.
142
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,803
Ugh, that is a horrible image.
143
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:28,967
Me doing Algebra.
144
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,425
[shudder]
145
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,766
On my telenovela, when they need ratings,
146
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:36,232
they kill off one of the characters.
Let's do that.
147
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:39,112
-There's only two of us.
-Yeah...
148
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:43,820
-Sorry it has to end this way, Bernstein.
-We're not killing off any characters.
149
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,413
Let's not take anything off the table.
150
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,779
We just need to do something
to make rate the ratings pop.
151
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:52,197
Pimple, pimple, pimple, pimple, pimple.
152
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:55,367
-[Crash laughs]
-I know something we could pop.
153
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:56,667
[Crash] Pimple, pimple.
154
00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:01,342
[popping]
155
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:03,759
And that concludes this installment
of bubble wrap theater.
156
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,050
[applause]
157
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:08,854
Now who wants to see us pop a giant zit?
158
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:11,598
-[audience cheering]
-Thank you. Thank you.
159
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,061
You know, it's tough to say good-bye,
160
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,902
but you know what they say.
If you love something,
161
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,688
pop it on television.
162
00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:22,527
Now to see how we're getting rid
of this zit, let's go to the...
163
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,069
-Wheel of popping.
-[carnival music plays]
164
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,868
Will it be an angry lobster?
165
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:29,948
A jackhammer?
166
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:32,493
Or everyone's favorite: Pesto's teeth?
167
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:35,250
Why am I on there?
168
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:39,630
It's the least we can do for you
after all you've done for the show.
169
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:43,379
Seriously, the absolute least
we could do for you.
170
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,844
[Bernstein grunts]
171
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,934
Now if you're in that front row,
that's our splash zone.
172
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,219
Things will get messy.
173
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,432
[carnival music playing]
174
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:58,480
Yes, it worked! I focused my mental energy
on the wheel and stopped it with my mind.
175
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,482
[audience] Pop it, pop it,
pop it, pop it!
176
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:05,186
Pop it, pop it!
177
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:06,696
Here comes the gross.
178
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:08,148
[Crash laughs]
179
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:10,368
[Bernstein grunting]
180
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:11,868
[popping sound]
[air hisses]
181
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,410
[audience] Aww!
182
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,583
Nothing came out.
183
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,371
[groans]
184
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:21,381
[Crash screaming] What's happening to me?!
185
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:24,499
-[screams]
-[exasperated sigh]
186
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:25,957
[shrieks]
187
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:30,005
-Who are you?
-I'm Tucker Taylor,
188
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,053
And I'm ready to be a star.
189
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:35,217
Hello, America. It's Tucker time.
190
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,096
[applause]
[cheering]
191
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,853
Whoa, my zit is charming.
192
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:42,266
Whoa, your zit Is talking.
193
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,145
Oh, yeah.
194
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:49,993
Okay, Tucker. Let me get this straight.
195
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,031
-You're a pimple?
-Uh-huh.
196
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,525
-And you can talk?
-That's right.
197
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,367
Well, that all checks out.
198
00:08:57,579 --> 00:09:00,419
Good news.
I just checked the school's website.
199
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,288
Our show's a hit.
Everybody loves Tucker.
200
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:04,586
Well, duh.
201
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,629
We should change
the name of the show to...
202
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,593
"Tucker Time with Wilfred
and the purple guy."
203
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,553
Uh, it's Wyatt.
204
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,845
Wilfred would be better.
205
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,271
I always thought that, too.
206
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,849
Oh, we're gonna be huge, Wilfred.
207
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,564
Tucker, thanks again for saving the show.
208
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:26,895
Don't thank me. Thank my flawless teeth
and incredible hair.
209
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:30,573
Seriously, you should thank them. It's
rude that you haven't thanked them yet.
210
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:34,913
Yeah, right. What am I supposed to do?
Write your hair a thank you note?
211
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:37,451
Bernstein, how do you spell "lustrous"?
212
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,365
-Uh, uh...
-Oh. Mm-hmm...
213
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:40,464
-"L"...
-Right.
214
00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:42,078
-And "U,"
-Right.
215
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:49,261
Hello, I'm a normal 12-year-old girl
in ridiculous clothes,
216
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:51,759
and I'd like to order some pizza.
217
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,716
Okay, what can I get you?
218
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,716
What are you doing?
I'm giving you gold here.
219
00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:00,888
Insult me.
220
00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:02,555
Right. Mmm...
221
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:05,024
What an ugly dress. Where'd you get it?
222
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,435
The dress store...
223
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:10,194
where you can get those kind of dresses?
224
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:14,065
You're hopeless. I'll do this myself.
225
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:16,315
-Is there a problem?
-Yes, there is.
226
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,448
Your employee just insulted me.
227
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:20,155
She offered me a to-go bag.
228
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:23,075
Then she put it on my head
and told me to go.
229
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:26,004
[laughs]
Nice one, Amanda.
230
00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:28,998
Now work in something
about her scrawny legs.
231
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:31,974
Thank you.
232
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:35,178
Hey, anything to help you keep
the highest paying job you'll ever have.
233
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,390
Oh, hey, Bernstein.
234
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:43,483
I wrote a great joke about homeroom
for the opening monologue.
235
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,400
Tucker, remember,
after I say the punch line,
236
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:50,229
-you pop out and yell, "Booyah."
-Got it.
237
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,186
Sit tight. Wait for my cue.
238
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:54,197
-Booyah.
-Right. Get in there.
239
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:57,659
[cheering]
240
00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,701
Hey, everyone. Welcome to the show.
241
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,374
I'm Crash,
and I have a great joke for you.
242
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:05,044
-It's Tucker Time!
-What the--
243
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:08,543
What are you doing?
It's not Tucker Time. It's Crash Time.
244
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:09,746
Listen to the crowd.
245
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,796
Tucker! Tucker!
246
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,630
[audience] Tucker! Tucker!
247
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:15,716
What's up with homeroom?
248
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,800
It doesn't look like any room
in any home I'd want to live in.
249
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:19,887
Booyah!
250
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:22,141
[laughing]
251
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,886
Hey, that's my joke.
252
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:26,556
He didn't even leave me the "Booyah."
253
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,194
-Bernstein, you believe--
-It's, like,
254
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:30,271
who'd want a home with that room in it?
255
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,398
Booyah.
256
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:34,815
[laughing]
257
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,203
[Bernstein laughs]
258
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:37,988
-Uh!
-Face bump.
259
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,703
-[Bernstein grunts]
-What?!
260
00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:42,453
What?! It is not face bump.
261
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,495
Everyone knows it is "face slam!"
262
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:48,460
[chanting]
Face bump! Face bump!
263
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,461
Face bump!
264
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,343
-[chanting continue]
-[Crash growls]
265
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:57,303
Crash, there you are. You know
how many kids are trying to find you
266
00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:00,394
-for an autograph?
-Let me warm up the old signing arm.
267
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:04,643
Well, it's not your autograph they want.
268
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,734
It's Tucker's.
269
00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:08,019
Oh! Ha-ha!
270
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,813
Oh, Pesto.
[laughing]
271
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,016
You are so funny.
[laughing]
272
00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:16,857
Also, I can tell by the look on your face
that you're not joking.
273
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,355
[laughing]
Still...
274
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:22,276
I'm gonna continue laughing
to bury the pain.
275
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,447
[Crash laughs]
276
00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:26,076
This is healthy.
277
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,582
[Crash cries]
278
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,785
-[Pesto] Are you okay?
-I'm fine.
279
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:34,085
And I'm sorry,
but Tucker's not available right now.
280
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,960
He's taking a little nap.
281
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:39,842
Tucker, my man, you deserve a rest.
282
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,256
[Crash inhales]
283
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:44,264
Huh? Eh--
Why am I light-headed?
284
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:45,557
[Tucker grunts]
285
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:49,143
-[Tucker snores]
-Sleep.
286
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,267
Sleep all you like.
287
00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:53,944
Sleep.
288
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:58,074
Sleep. No one will miss you.
289
00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:03,122
Oh, we're back here now?
290
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:05,579
There he is, as promised.
291
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:08,040
Your picture with Tucker Taylor,
10 bucks each.
292
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,211
Five bucks more
and you get to punch Crash.
293
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:13,290
[Crash scoffs]
What a rip-off. I'll do it for four.
294
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,836
[Crash grunts] I'm a smart shopper.
295
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,420
And too bad, Cleo,
296
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,716
-Tucker's asleep. So what--
-Do I smell admiration?
297
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,851
[kids shout] Yeah!
298
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,598
[Tucker] Yeah, step away.
Take in the Tucker.
299
00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:27,681
-[camera clicks]
-But careful,
300
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:30,056
if your flash bounces off my tooth enamel,
301
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,353
it will burn a hole through your retina.
302
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:36,017
Don't believe him. That is not possible.
303
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:39,487
-[camera clicks]
-[screams]
304
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:42,319
Uh, don't worry.
This happens all the time.
305
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,615
Just remain calm.
306
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:47,623
[screaming]
307
00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:55,253
Oh, hey, don't forget. We're taping
the Wyatt and Crash Show today.
308
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,955
We need some ideas for the final segment.
309
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,375
[Tucker] I have an idea.
310
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:00,509
More Tucker time.
311
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:01,970
Wait, how--
312
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:03,390
What happened to Crash?
313
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:06,178
[Crash muffled voice] I'm down here.
[grunts]
314
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:09,472
[Crash] Bernstein,
I don't know how to tell you this,
315
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:12,727
but we are out of body wash.
316
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:17,403
Also, I am sticking out of the side
of my body!
317
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:21,074
Also, we're out of shampoo.
318
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:26,317
Okay, open up and say, "Ahh."
319
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:28,028
Ahh'm awesome.
320
00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:31,328
Sorry, reflex. Let me try again.
321
00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:33,963
Ahh'm amazing.
322
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,080
Open wider.
323
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,797
[Crash gags]
324
00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:41,378
Whoo, that's kind of fun.
325
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:44,224
-In, out.
-[Crash gags]
326
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,680
-In, out.
-[Crash gags]
327
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:50,641
-[laughing]
-[gagging]
328
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:53,024
-Dr. Gordon?
-I'm terribly sorry.
329
00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:57,977
Good news,
your friend is going to be okay.
330
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,074
Oh, phew.
331
00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:01,899
I got a little scared when I saw his head
was sticking out the side of his body.
332
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,740
Wait, your friend is the one
with the head on the side?
333
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:05,821
Uh-huh.
334
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:10,035
Oh, in that case,
your friend is not going to be okay.
335
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:12,658
His head will slowly shrink
like a healing pimple.
336
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,866
Soon he will disappear completely,
and you won't see him again.
337
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,251
Why are you still smiling?
338
00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:21,245
I went to a very polite medical school.
339
00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:22,668
Okay, what am I supposed to do?
340
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:25,466
I don't know. I also went
to a very bad medical school.
341
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,796
Hey, Doc, do want
an autographed picture of me?
342
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:31,388
No, thank you. Should I?
343
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:33,643
-Who are you?
-What?! "Who am I?"
344
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,185
I'm Tucker Taylor.
345
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:38,518
Do you not watch the Linus Pauling
Middle School television station?
346
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,605
No, I'm 37.
347
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,991
[Tucker] Wyatt, can we go?
I'm tired of being insulted by this guy.
348
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:47,610
No, let's stay. Now I'm having fun.
349
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,697
Hey, doc, do that throat trick again.
350
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:50,783
[Crash groans]
351
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:53,197
Doc, do you see what's happening?
352
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:57,116
When Tucker gets more confident, he gets
more powerful and Crash gets weaker.
353
00:15:57,207 --> 00:16:00,787
If we insult Tucker enough,
maybe Crash'll get his body back.
354
00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:03,247
Yes, I definitely see that.
355
00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:06,798
Did you go to Online Doctor's School, too?
356
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:15,925
Nice outfit. You look like a penguin
and a zebra had a baby,
357
00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:19,267
But they didn't like the baby,
so they made it design you ugly outfits.
358
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:22,858
Nice, Amanda.
359
00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:25,111
You keep it up, you'll be
"Meanie of the Month."
360
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,236
Okay, I got to take a break.
It's my mom's birthday.
361
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,872
I got to remind her
what a miserable old bag she is.
362
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:34,664
[voice breaking]
I love that lady.
363
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,463
Did you hear what I said to that lady?
364
00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:42,381
Yeah, I'm the one that told you to say it.
365
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,550
Let me know if you need help
with anything else.
366
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,879
Please, like I'm gonna take advice
from some loser
367
00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:48,045
who sits under pizza counters
368
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,223
because she has nothing
better to do with her life.
369
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:52,966
Okay, that hurt.
370
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,970
I'm so proud of you!
371
00:16:57,225 --> 00:17:00,725
Amanda, where's your boss?
I need someone to insult Tucker.
372
00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:01,812
He's not here.
373
00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:04,816
And how could anyone Insult Tucker?
He's perfect.
374
00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:07,319
Ha, guilty as charged.
375
00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:09,992
Hey, less compliments, more insults.
376
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:12,871
Okay, Crash, you're awful
and no one likes you.
377
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:15,119
Ouch. That must hurt.
378
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,791
No, I laugh at insults.
379
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:19,251
Listen.
380
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:22,460
[crying]
381
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:25,502
[Crash bawling]
382
00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:27,837
Wait, what's happening to me?!
383
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:29,012
Stop it.
384
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:32,430
Look, we're trying to get rid of Tucker.
Only one of them can survive.
385
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,550
I'm worried
that if you keep insulting Crash,
386
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,427
he'll be the one who disappears forever.
387
00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:38,484
-Really?
-Let's try.
388
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,018
-You're annoying.
-Gross.
389
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:41,061
-Smelly.
-Obnoxious.
390
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,064
-Dumb.
-[Amanda] Bug-eyed.
391
00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:43,015
[Cleo] No nose. Weird.
392
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:44,064
-Unwashed.
-Creepy.
393
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:45,857
-With stupid hair.
-Purple.
394
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,610
And oddly sticky!
395
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,395
[Crash] They're right.
396
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:52,487
Especially the sticky part.
397
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,122
I don't know
why they even make maple soap.
398
00:17:56,284 --> 00:18:00,294
Oh! So that's why we're
always out of syrup.
399
00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:02,422
I should just give up.
400
00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:04,379
Tucker's better than me.
401
00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:07,999
No, he's not.
He's an empty head with horse teeth.
402
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:09,918
Ow!
403
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:12,046
You don't like the insults, do you, Tuck?
404
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:14,593
Well, guess what? Your mirror called.
405
00:18:14,678 --> 00:18:16,968
It said it wants to see other people.
406
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:19,175
Why would my mirror say that? And--
407
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,135
And how did my mirror
get your phone number?
408
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,982
Oh, they go way back.
409
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:26,772
They met on a flight
to Tucker-is-a-butt-istan.
410
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,976
[Crash laughs]
411
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,187
Stop laughing at me.
412
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,736
-[Crash laughs]
-I'd punch you right now,
413
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:33,950
but for some reason
my arms aren't working.
414
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,660
-[Tucker grunts]
-That's because they're my arms.
415
00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:38,791
And I'm back in control.
416
00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:41,828
[Tucker grunting]
417
00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:42,913
[Crash laughs]
418
00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:45,827
I've never been so insulted in my life.
Tucker out!
419
00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:48,377
Oh, you're not getting off that easy.
420
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:49,881
[Crash and Tucker grunting]
421
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:53,633
-[punches landing]
-[grunting]
422
00:18:55,010 --> 00:18:56,550
My life is pretty weird.
423
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,466
I do not disagree.
424
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:03,305
-[grunts and punches]
-[glass breaks]
425
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:05,653
[Crash grunting]
426
00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:07,359
[Crash screams] Ah!
427
00:19:07,439 --> 00:19:09,319
Yes, he's gone.
428
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,229
I've got my body back.
429
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,947
Oh, thank goodness.
I was worried about you.
430
00:19:14,029 --> 00:19:16,069
-Face slam!
-[Tucker] This isn't over yet,
431
00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:17,656
body that I'm attached to.
432
00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:19,281
-No, no, no.
-No, no!
433
00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:23,616
[Tucker bawls]
434
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:26,665
Now he's gone. Handsome prevails.
435
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,920
Crash, come on. Fight back!
436
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:32,012
[Crash muffled voice]
I can't beat him, he's too strong.
437
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,718
Nobody's too strong for you.
438
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,678
You're a warrior. You're fearless.
439
00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:38,009
You give yourself haircuts
with a ninja sword.
440
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:40,854
[Crash] It's the only way
I can get my fade on.
441
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,480
He's just a disgusting pimple.
442
00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:45,728
You're my disgusting brother.
443
00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:48,271
[Crash grunts]
444
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:51,565
[Crash grunting]
445
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:53,109
[Crash bawls]
446
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:58,203
[Crash shouts] I am Crash!
447
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:01,198
-So is Tucker gone?
-Let's see.
448
00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:07,421
[Tucker voice fading]
I'm healing. Tucker out.
449
00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:09,791
And it keeps getting weirder.
450
00:20:11,086 --> 00:20:12,796
Yup. Hey, Bernstein, come here.
451
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:13,879
-I got a secret for you.
-Yeah?
452
00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:16,383
-Face slam!
-[Bernstein grunts] Oh!
453
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:18,336
[laughs]
454
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,926
-[Tony] Face slam!
-What was that?
455
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:23,892
Oh, that's my shoulder wart, Tony.
456
00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:25,933
You'd like him. He's good people.
457
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:28,897
-[Tony] Thank you, Crash.
-You're welcome, Tony.
458
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:36,071
Hey, I made your pizza
just like your underpants...
459
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:38,032
-[thud]
-extra crusty.
460
00:20:38,113 --> 00:20:40,533
[laughs]
That's a good one.
461
00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:42,405
Let me try a funny insult.
462
00:20:42,492 --> 00:20:44,202
Your mother never loved you.
463
00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:47,905
-Whoa, that's just mean.
-You'll always be alone.
464
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:50,667
No, that is not an insult.
Insults are clever.
465
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:54,210
Ah, Doctor, could you show
this maniac what an insult is?
466
00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:58,165
I got your test results back.
They do not look good.
467
00:20:58,258 --> 00:20:59,508
[laughing]
468
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,302
That's not an insult.
That's just bad news.
469
00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:03,676
-Why are you smiling?
-Because I love pizza.
470
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:08,023
I like you, Doctor.
471
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,941
This could be the start
of a long friendship.
472
00:21:11,021 --> 00:21:13,901
Or a short one.
I got your test results, too.
473
00:21:13,982 --> 00:21:16,072
[laughs]
474
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:20,526
I'm laughing, but I can see by your face
475
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,873
that you are completely serious.
476
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,449
[laughs]
477
00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:26,995
This is healthy.
478
00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:29,658
[laughs]
479
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:36,383
♪ Crash and Bern, hard core ♪
480
00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:38,843
♪ Bass, bass ♪
481
00:21:43,261 --> 00:21:44,261
♪ What ♪
482
00:21:46,848 --> 00:21:48,768
♪ That's what friends are for ♪
483
00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:50,060
♪ Crash and Bern ♪
484
00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:51,353
♪ Tear it up, dude ♪
485
00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:53,228
♪ Good call ♪
486
00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:55,113
♪ Crash and BernCrash and Bern ♪
487
00:21:55,190 --> 00:21:58,570
-♪ I said, "Stein" ♪
-♪ What he said ♪
35978
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