Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,292 --> 00:00:03,212
♪ Kick it down hardcore ♪
2
00:00:03,294 --> 00:00:05,264
[panting]
3
00:00:05,922 --> 00:00:08,512
In lane one,
the all-time hangout champ,
4
00:00:08,591 --> 00:00:11,431
winner of a record 57 straight victories,
5
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:14,221
Wyatt Bernstein!
6
00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:17,555
[mimics crowd clamoring]
7
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:22,356
And in lane two,
some guy named Crash.
8
00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:24,689
Wait, that's all the intro I get?
9
00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:27,324
Oh, you are going down.
10
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,361
On the count of three--
11
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:30,276
Three!
12
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,530
One, two, seven, zero, North Carolina...
13
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:36,197
One, two...
14
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,786
Hockey, oatmeal...
15
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,336
[grunting]
16
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,588
Aah!
17
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,009
It's 58 wins in a row!
18
00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:50,840
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
19
00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:53,425
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
20
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:56,722
Ah! I protest.
21
00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:59,306
I blatantly interfered with myself.
22
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,595
Uh-oh, is somebody a sore loser?
23
00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:05,107
No, you're a sore loser!
24
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,980
Now if you'll excuse me,
25
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:10,317
I'm going to go over there
to scream, break things
26
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,913
and blame other people
for my shortcomings.
27
00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:14,486
Good day.
28
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:20,292
♪ Let me tell you about the Bernsteins ♪
29
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:22,292
♪ Yo, I'ma let you finish ♪
30
00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:24,084
-♪ But ding-dong ♪
-♪ Who's that? ♪
31
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:25,247
♪ Yo, it's Crash at the door ♪
32
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,915
♪ Don't wait for you to openKick it down hard core ♪
33
00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:30,174
♪ A purple with a 'tudeWhere your mom hide the food? ♪
34
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:32,876
-♪ In the fridge ♪
-♪ I'ma eat it then we tear it up, dude
35
00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:35,347
♪ No make-up or feelingsTea parties or dolls ♪
36
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:36,808
♪ Now it's ninjas and football ♪
37
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:38,058
-♪ And face slams ♪
-♪ Good call ♪
38
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:39,269
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
39
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:40,519
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
40
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,980
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
41
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:42,890
♪ What he said ♪
42
00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:44,307
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
43
00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:45,646
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
44
00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:47,070
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
45
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:48,108
♪ What he said ♪
46
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,281
♪ It's war against awesomeBut awesome's gotta soar ♪
47
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,070
-♪ I'll be grounded forever ♪
-♪ That's what friends are for ♪
48
00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:55,494
♪ Crash and BernsteinCrash and Bernstein ♪
49
00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:57,163
-♪ Crash and Bern... ♪
-♪ I said "Stein" ♪
50
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:58,912
♪ What he said ♪
51
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:01,164
[chuckles]
52
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,785
♪ Crash and Bern ♪
53
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:05,464
[sighs]
54
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:08,882
Crash, help me find
my Mutant Hunter Five poster.
55
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:09,922
Eh!
56
00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:13,165
Jake Mahoney's coming to our school today
and I want him to autograph it.
57
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:14,548
Haven't seen it, Bernstein.
58
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:17,014
By the way, we're out
of giant sci-fi tissues.
59
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,097
[blowing nose]
60
00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:20,850
What? No no! Stop!
61
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:21,852
Stop! What are you--
62
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,393
What are you doing?
63
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:25,854
You ruined my poster!
64
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:28,647
Oh, looks like I failed again.
65
00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:31,992
I can't even win a game
of "don't blow your nose on posters"!
66
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:34,645
I'm a loser.
67
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,778
Just let me wallow in peace.
68
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:37,775
Wallow!
69
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,490
Wallow, wallow!
70
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,327
Are you still bummed
about your losing streak?
71
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,832
Wallow!
72
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,616
Cheer up.
You'll win something one of these days.
73
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,078
Maybe even right now!
74
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,548
-Whoa!
-[Crash grunting]
75
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:52,758
Ah, ah! Bernstein!
76
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,799
You should know better
than to pick a fight with me
77
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,513
when I'm in an ugly mood.
78
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,603
That's not a mood. That's your face.
79
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,308
-Aah!
-No, no, no, no!
80
00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:03,979
Oh! Oh, hey, you got me!
81
00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:05,599
-You win!
-Ha ha!
82
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,015
Of course I win!
83
00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:10,194
When do I ever lose?
84
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:14,573
In all my 37 seconds of broadcasting,
85
00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:18,112
I have never seen
such a spectacular performance.
86
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:22,118
Bernstein was dominated,
annihilated, constipated.
87
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:26,372
Tell us, Bernstein,
how does it feel to be a loser?
88
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:29,415
-Well, Crash, actually--
-Wait!
89
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:33,381
I'm being told
no one cares what a loser thinks.
90
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,297
♪ Whoa! ♪
91
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,138
That's Jake Mahoney?
92
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,850
He doesn't look so tough.
93
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,720
Has he ever beaten you at wrestling?
94
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,597
Because I have! Remember?
95
00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:49,648
Isn't this awesome?
I get to introduce Jake Mahoney.
96
00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:53,441
'Cause, you know, I'm
the school's biggest Mutant Hunter fan.
97
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,279
Also, I begged.
98
00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:59,275
You're not
the biggest Mutant Hunter fan.
99
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:01,204
I'm the biggest Mutant Hunter fan.
100
00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:03,912
I even have a Mutant Hunter fan.
101
00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:06,754
I'd argue with you, buddy,
102
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:09,750
but I've got
a national treasure to introduce.
103
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,504
The dictionary defines "hero"
104
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:16,376
as another word for a submarine sandwich.
105
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:20,013
Well, submarine sandwiches are great,
106
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,723
-and so is Jake--
-Thanks, kid!
107
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:25,103
And thank you,
Linus Pauling Middle School!
108
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:28,812
You know, it's great to be back
at my old stomping grounds.
109
00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:30,983
Ha ha ha ha!
110
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:33,822
Can I do another take of that?
I can do that a lot better.
111
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:37,486
Sheesh! Are those even his real muscles?
112
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:39,529
I bet they're implants.
113
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:44,869
You know, I'm honored
that you're retiring my locker.
114
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:48,285
This door is like all my fans--
115
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:49,461
Solid gold.
116
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:54,712
Hey! That's my locker!
117
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,764
Not anymore, kid. I moved your stuff.
118
00:04:58,506 --> 00:04:59,376
Huh?
119
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:03,677
This just got personal.
120
00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:06,012
Hmm. That was pretty good, kid.
121
00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:08,604
But you might want to try it like this--
122
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,141
[low voice] This just got personal.
123
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:13,557
[all cheering]
124
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,396
-See the difference?
-[Crash groaning]
125
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,403
Jake, I'm your biggest fan.
126
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,277
I can even do your signature move!
127
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,494
Well, don't.
128
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:26,493
It's trademarked and I will sue you.
129
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,617
But if anyone wants to watch me,
130
00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,334
Jake Mahoney, do it,
131
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:34,424
I'm shooting
Mutant Hunter Six right here in town,
132
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,301
and you're all invited to stop by the set.
133
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:39,092
[whispering]
134
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,342
I'm being informed
I don't have the authority
135
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:44,804
to invite the entire school,
just the two of you.
136
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,758
Because you're standing right there.
137
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,345
Yes! We stood in the right place!
138
00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:52,939
Hey, kids!
139
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,610
You wanna watch me punch some air?
140
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,649
[grunting]
141
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,404
[laughs]
142
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:02,646
You're welcome.
143
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,355
Did you get that?
144
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:07,447
Cause I can do another take.
My stamina's ridiculous.
145
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:12,329
Big man, picking on air!
146
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,134
Why don't you fight a real action hero?
147
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,708
Me and you!
148
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,883
Arm wrestling.
149
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:21,382
-Okay.
-Ha ha! This'll be good.
150
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,974
Maybe I shouldn't have let him beat me
at wrestling this morning.
151
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,010
He's an even worse winner than loser.
152
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,394
Don't worry.
Jake'll put him in his place.
153
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:29,721
Ready set go!
154
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,466
[both grunting]
155
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,808
Ho ho ho! Whoa, now!
156
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,603
[both grunting]
157
00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,767
-Aah!
-Ho!
158
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:40,396
Uh-oh, you beat me!
159
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,403
Was there ever any doubt?
160
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,945
Oh, no, he let Crash win.
161
00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:48,530
Looks like I'm the only real action hero
at this school.
162
00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:52,286
Air punch!
Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah!
163
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:57,464
I've got big news, Amanda.
164
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,502
Opportunity is knocking at your door.
165
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:01,375
Knock knock.
166
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:02,303
Who's there?
167
00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:05,298
I just told you--opportunity.
168
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,303
I just told you "opportunity who?"
169
00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:10,596
Okay, let's start over.
170
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,310
You're interviewing Jake Mahoney
on the set of his new movie.
171
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,057
I really don't get this joke.
172
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:19,611
I'm not joking.
173
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:22,479
I just got off the phone
with Jake's people and set it all up.
174
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,937
I told them
you had the hottest show on the Internet.
175
00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:26,528
And they believed that?
176
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:29,123
People over 30
are terrified of not being hip.
177
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:31,279
They'll believe anything
a 12 year old says.
178
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:33,413
But I'm not a reporter.
179
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:36,617
Well, you are now. And I'm your producer.
180
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,876
This will be streaming live
on the Cleo website.
181
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:42,048
I'll handle the logistics.
You just be pretty and ask questions.
182
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,344
What are logistics?
183
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,970
Okay, you just be pretty.
184
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:53,849
Hey, mutant!
185
00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:56,353
Die here often?
186
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:57,484
[grunting]
187
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:00,808
Dude, that was awesome!
188
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,767
Yeah! The mutant was all like, "What?"
189
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:05,317
And then Jake was all like,
"Pew pew pew pew pew!"
190
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:09,447
Man, my laser impression
is not what it used to be.
191
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,280
I can't believe we get to visit the set.
192
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:15,867
Yeah, it's going to be insan--
Oh, here's my favorite part.
193
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,672
This is about to get messy.
194
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,130
Aah!
195
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,837
Yeah! Ha ha ha!
196
00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:27,840
What are you doing?
It was about to get messy!
197
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,514
You wanna see a real action hero?
198
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,803
[grunts] Check this movie out.
199
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,007
[grunts]
200
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:37,017
Hi, I'm Fake Baloney,
201
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,350
pretend action hero!
202
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:40,766
Wanna fight?
203
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,064
[laughs]
204
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:45,727
Violencedoesn't solve problems, but okay!
205
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,357
[fighting sounds]
206
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,824
[laughs]
207
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:50,033
[grunting]
208
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,993
Oh, please stop.
209
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:55,413
I just Jake Mahoneyed in my pants.
210
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:58,083
Ha ha ha ha ha! Ah ah!
211
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,626
Have you lost your mind?
212
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,049
Kind of. But it grew back.
213
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:08,420
Why'd you put this
on the Internet? Jake could see it.
214
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:10,256
Oh, I wouldn't worry about it.
215
00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:12,142
I'm sure Jake Mahoney
has better things to do
216
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,508
than watch stupid Internet videos.
217
00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:18,677
[Crash] Hi, I'm Fake Baloney!
218
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,851
Fake Baloney?
219
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:23,805
[fighting sounds]
220
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,687
This has 90,000 views?
221
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:30,105
I just Jake Mahoneyed in my pants!
222
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:33,065
[groans loudly]
223
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,657
Aah!
224
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,620
[grunting]
225
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,081
-I just Jake Mahoneyed in my--
-[laughing]
226
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,287
Don't watch that! It's garbage!
227
00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:48,511
You're fired.
228
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:55,642
Right, just play it cool.
229
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,390
Act like you've been
on a movie set before.
230
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,101
[gasps]
231
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,017
No way!
232
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,732
It's Mutant Hunter's gauntlet.
233
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:05,903
Look!
234
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,110
That looks like chewed gum.
235
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,030
Cherry mint.
236
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,950
Jake's signature chew!
237
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,074
I'm adding this to my collection.
238
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:18,489
Okay, let's go over this fight.
239
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,576
The mutant comes up behind me.
240
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:23,542
I'll do a scissor kick
into a reverse-elbow pop,
241
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,543
finish with the throat rip. [grunts]
242
00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:29,051
Hey, what do you guys think?
243
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,799
Can't go wrong with the throat rip.
244
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,090
I have your gum.
245
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:34,970
Stick around.
246
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,891
After rehearsal,
I'll let you take a picture of me.
247
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,181
-You mean with you?
-No.
248
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,975
Puh-lease!
You couldn't do a decent throat rip
249
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:47,111
in a room full of baby giraffes.
250
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:48,938
Who let this kid in here?
251
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:52,744
Hey, let me show you
how a real action hero handles a mutant.
252
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,409
Ahh-yah-yah-yah! Rah rah rah!
253
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,868
You're friends with this guy?
254
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,490
He's kind of my brother.
255
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:02,157
Well, you'd better get control
of your "kind of" brother
256
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,745
or I'll tear him into kind of pieces!
257
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:08,711
[Crash] Ah! I'd like to see you try.
258
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,423
Okay, come here.
259
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,633
No, you come here.
260
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:13,554
Okay.
261
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:16,045
-Hyah!
-[laughs]
262
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:20,184
[grunts] Rah! Aah!
263
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,517
[sighs] Thanks.
264
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,020
You're a lot better
than my old assistant.
265
00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:33,652
Ready? We're on in three, two...
266
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:36,148
One?
267
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:39,027
-[mouthing words]
-Oh! Oh!
268
00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:41,123
Hi, I'm Amanda Bernstein,
269
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:44,501
and this is the Mutant Hunter himself,
Jake Mahoney.
270
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:45,789
Thanks, Amanda.
271
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,922
It's a real honor
for you to interview me.
272
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:52,090
Jake, the movie you're shooting
is called Mutant Hunter Six .
273
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:55,880
America wants to know,
what does the six stand for?
274
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:56,965
Is it a code?
275
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:02,720
Um, it's because it's the sixth one
in the Mutant Hunter series.
276
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,271
Oh.
277
00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:08,189
So it has a double meaning.
278
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:09,975
That's deep.
279
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,066
Let's watch a clip.
280
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:16,399
-[music playing]
-[grunting]
281
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,696
Hey, Jake ma-phony!
282
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,280
I'm in your lair.
283
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,827
I left you a present. You can't see it,
284
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,001
but you can smell it!
285
00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:29,831
Oh, I guess you can see it.
286
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,166
Ew.
287
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,672
This guy again?
288
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:38,756
I'm talking to you, Jerk real-bony!
289
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:41,392
I challenge you to a smack down!
290
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:43,599
No gloves, no helmets,
291
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,220
just my orthopedic insoles!
292
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,437
I have flat feet!
293
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:52,311
[grunting]
294
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,857
Assistant, bring me my breaking stool!
295
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:02,744
[grunting]
296
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,284
[sighs]
297
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:05,327
Thanks.
298
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:07,037
You're fired.
299
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:09,624
You wanna a piece of me, Crash?
300
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,746
Be at the set on Saturday.
301
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:14,543
This air is going to be your face.
302
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:17,877
[fighting sounds]
303
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:22,838
This embarrassing celebrity meltdown
is brought to you by...
304
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,007
[whispered] Cleo.
305
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:36,106
[slow fighting sounds]
306
00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:39,281
Hey, Jake, you want some of this?
307
00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:41,401
Kung pao chicken!
308
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,698
Ah. I'm hungry.
309
00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:44,742
[dialing]
310
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,744
One large order of kung pao chicken.
311
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,000
Bernstein.
312
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,080
Did you see me on TV? What'd you think?
313
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:55,035
I think my favorite movie actor
invited me to a set
314
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:56,666
and then you embarrassed me.
315
00:13:56,753 --> 00:14:00,723
And I think you're gonna be embarrassed
when Jake pulverizes you on Saturday.
316
00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:03,089
Ha! You worry too much.
317
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,426
You saw
how I handled him in arm wrestling.
318
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:07,684
Crash, Jake let you win,
319
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,974
Just like when I let you win
when we wrestled yesterday.
320
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:13,398
Ha! You are such a sore loser.
321
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,978
You let me win?
322
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:18,574
You're living in a fantasy world.
323
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:20,940
Isn't that right, cardboard Jake Mahoney?
324
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,065
You're really gonna make me prove this?
325
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,028
Ha.
326
00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:28,077
Wait, I wasn't ready.
327
00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:29,657
I slipped.
328
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:31,495
Sun was in my eyes.
329
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:33,368
I had a rock in my shoe.
330
00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:35,464
That was a practice round.
331
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,092
My hand was sweaty.
332
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:38,588
Your hand was sweaty.
333
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:40,129
Thumb cramp.
334
00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:42,092
Charley horse.
335
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:43,303
Acid reflux.
336
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,513
[grunting]
337
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:48,847
Crash, you're losing to no one.
338
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,059
[gasps]
339
00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:53,981
That's almost as bad as losing to you.
340
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:57,610
Oh, Bernstein, you gotta protect me.
Jake's going to tear me apart!
341
00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:59,859
[sighs] I'll go talk to Jake.
342
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,651
But you really dug yourself a hole.
343
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,278
So, in case you can't save your butt,
344
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,112
you might wanna dig yourself a hole.
345
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,655
I'm asking you as a lifelong fan,
346
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,327
please don't hurt Crash.
347
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,205
I can't back down now.
348
00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:18,542
I'm a hero!
349
00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:21,666
And Crash made me a laughingstock.
350
00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,219
That's the worst kind of stock.
351
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,550
Anyway, my reputation is on the line
352
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:30,755
and the only way I can save it
is by destroying your brother.
353
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:33,427
What if I come up
with a way to fix your reputation
354
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:36,016
that doesn't involve
ripping Crash to shreds?
355
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,652
You're lucky I'm as nice as I am humble.
356
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:42,862
Okay, you've got a day to figure it out.
357
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:46,108
Does that include the rest
of today and all of tomorrow?
358
00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,696
No, that would be a day and a half.
359
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,621
So you're including
the time that I sleep?
360
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:50,699
That doesn't seem fair.
361
00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,584
A day is 24 hours.
362
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:55,290
It's 24 hours from now
or from when I get home? It's a long walk.
363
00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,792
All right, I'll give you
a 30-minute buffer,
364
00:15:57,874 --> 00:16:01,094
but the clock is ticking.
Now leave me alone, kid!
365
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,837
Okay, guys, remember,
this is just a practice run.
366
00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:12,348
Tomorrow,
it won't be the dummy. It will be Amanda.
367
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:14,644
Pesto, stop kissing the dummy.
368
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,647
Amanda will be
on the catwalk above the set.
369
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:22,439
When I give the signal,
she falls, Jake catches her.
370
00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:24,404
He's a hero again and Crash lives.
371
00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:26,736
-What's in it for me?
-You live.
372
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,150
Oh, yeah.
373
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,320
How'd you get Amanda to agree to this?
374
00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:33,407
Oh, I paid Cleo.
She can talk Amanda into anything.
375
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,623
Note to self.
376
00:16:36,955 --> 00:16:39,285
All right, Amanda will fall
when I give the code word.
377
00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:41,544
Um, let's make it "banana."
378
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,796
Savannah? What kind of code word is that?
379
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,418
Not savannah, banana.
380
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,665
[Pesto] Banana?
381
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,100
Let's not tell Amanda that part.
382
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,178
Right.
383
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:57,267
Ooh-ahh, ooh-ahh.
384
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:58,890
Ooh-ahh!
385
00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:01,147
Do I look better pounding him like this--
386
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:03,109
[grunts loudly]
387
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:06,783
Or like this? [grunting]
388
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:09,986
I know, they're both really good, huh?
389
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:12,781
Mm-hmm, yeah. Uh-huh. Mmm.
390
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:15,236
Wait, Pesto, what are you doing up there?
391
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,406
I'm here to keep Amanda company,
392
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:20,535
and maybe hold her hand
for emotional support.
393
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,590
Can I jump now?
394
00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:29,416
Crash, did you remember to paint the "x"
where Jake is supposed to stand
395
00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:31,257
-so he can catch Amanda?
-Better than that.
396
00:17:31,343 --> 00:17:34,893
I painted "x"s everywhere
so he can't miss!
397
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,601
[Crash laughing]
398
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,351
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
399
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,693
That won't work! Wait!
400
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:44,439
It's fist o'clock! Let's do this!
401
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:45,732
[laughing]
402
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,435
No go! No go!
403
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:48,895
Did he say "go go"?
404
00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:51,526
Wyatt, that's not the code word.
405
00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:53,573
-Whoa whoa!
-Jake!
406
00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:56,026
[all gasping]
407
00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:57,537
Did everyone see that?
408
00:17:57,619 --> 00:18:00,039
Jake just saved this kid. He's a hero!
409
00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,293
Yes. Yes, I am.
410
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:05,921
[laughs]
I thought you were supposed to be a girl.
411
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:07,462
So did my mom.
412
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,125
She even had a name picked out.
413
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,554
How'd you get so strong?
414
00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:14,434
Diet and exercise.
415
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,851
Every day I eat a banana.
416
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:17,760
[Amanda] Banana!
417
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:21,481
[Amanda] Wyatt!
418
00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:24,439
Well, at least your head didn't fall off.
419
00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:31,696
Whoo! I've got to say,
that media coverage was pretty sweet.
420
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:32,988
I'm glad it all worked out.
421
00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:34,951
I bet you are, kid.
422
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,831
'Cause your friend
was about to find out the hard way
423
00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:39,909
the difference between an action hero
424
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,714
and an action zero.
425
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:42,828
Oh!
426
00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:44,374
That's kind of harsh.
427
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,577
I mean, we did help save your reputation.
428
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:48,668
Why do you have to be such a sore winner?
429
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:50,713
I can be any kind of winner I want.
430
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:53,469
You wouldn't know that
because you're not winners,
431
00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:57,600
which, by process
of elimination, makes you losers.
432
00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:00,469
[grunting] Let me at him!
433
00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:02,477
He'll rip you apart.
434
00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:04,019
It'll be worth it.
435
00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:05,602
That guy needs to be taught a lesson.
436
00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:08,267
He called us losers.
437
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:11,775
I'm sure he didn't mean it.
He was probably just saying stuff.
438
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:12,860
Assistant!
439
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:15,324
Get these loser kids out of here!
440
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,275
I'm tired of acting nice.
441
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,445
-Oh, it's on!
-[grunting]
442
00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:21,414
Aah!
443
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,954
[fighting sounds]
444
00:19:23,038 --> 00:19:25,498
Ah! Oh!
445
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:26,622
Ah!
446
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:29,211
Ay! What?
447
00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:31,094
[grunting]
448
00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:32,881
-Hey!
-[gasping]
449
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:35,255
Now you're in trouble.
450
00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:37,045
Hyah!
451
00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:39,005
-[grunting]
-All right, Jakey!
452
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,805
Is that all you got? Take this!
453
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,639
[grunting]
454
00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:43,564
Ahh!
455
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,694
I don't need that leg.
456
00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:48,150
I'll hop kick you!
457
00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:50,227
Ow!
458
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,439
Knock it off! Hyah!
459
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:57,863
That settles that.
460
00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:00,325
It settles nothing.
461
00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:03,078
Now get out of here, Cake ma-fudgey!
462
00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:06,291
Stop calling me variations of my name!
463
00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:10,093
Hyah! Aah!
464
00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:13,254
Say "Crash is the real action hero."
465
00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:15,508
Say it, Flake Zamboni!
466
00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:18,390
Never. You can't make me.
467
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:21,810
You're just a head.
What are you going to do?
468
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,468
[grunting]
469
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,596
Aahh!
470
00:20:25,684 --> 00:20:28,904
[screams]
471
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:30,398
Aah!
472
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,860
-[Jake grunting]
-[Crash laughing]
473
00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:38,697
Crash is the real action hero!
474
00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:39,660
[moans]
475
00:20:40,699 --> 00:20:42,989
Great job, Crash. You won.
476
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:45,196
Face slam! Hoo-ah!
477
00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:48,156
Oh, Bernstein, show some class.
478
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:50,328
I don't keep track of wins and losses.
479
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:52,667
I'm all about sportsmanship.
480
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:55,712
I'm the sportsmanship champion!
481
00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:58,677
And, by process
of elimination, you're the loser.
482
00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:01,969
Ooh, oh, oh! Oh, ooh!
483
00:21:03,013 --> 00:21:04,353
Hey, where are you going?
484
00:21:08,018 --> 00:21:10,188
[sighs] This is a great idea,
485
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,610
turning the hangout
into a drive-in movie theater.
486
00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:15,356
Glad you thought of it, lady mutant.
487
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:21,199
[yawns]
488
00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:24,414
You are a lady mutant, right?
489
00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:29,371
I'll take that as a yes.
490
00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:36,304
♪ Crash and Bern, hard core ♪
491
00:21:37,589 --> 00:21:38,839
♪ Bass, bass ♪
492
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:43,799
♪ What ♪
493
00:21:47,557 --> 00:21:48,727
♪ That's what friends are for ♪
494
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:49,928
♪ Crash and Bern ♪
495
00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:51,388
♪ Tear it up, dude ♪
496
00:21:52,771 --> 00:21:53,771
♪ Good call ♪
497
00:21:53,855 --> 00:21:55,765
♪ Crash and BernCrash and Bern ♪
498
00:21:55,857 --> 00:21:58,897
-♪ I said, "Stein" ♪
-♪ What he said ♪
34736
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
