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1
00:00:01,090 --> 00:00:02,936
Jerry, can you watch
the kids tonight?
2
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:04,737
Someone played Barry White
over the racetrack speakers,
3
00:00:04,761 --> 00:00:06,671
and now there's
a seven-horse pregnancy.
4
00:00:06,695 --> 00:00:09,474
- No, he can't watch the kids.
- It's guys' night.
5
00:00:09,499 --> 00:00:11,544
How did you two start
having guys' nights?
6
00:00:11,567 --> 00:00:13,746
So now you're complaining
that I like your stupid husband?
7
00:00:13,771 --> 00:00:15,948
No, I want you to like
my stupid husband.
8
00:00:15,973 --> 00:00:18,016
Aww.
Well, then accept
that Friday nights
9
00:00:18,041 --> 00:00:19,285
are all about Rick and Jerry.
10
00:00:19,309 --> 00:00:21,019
We're buds.
11
00:00:21,044 --> 00:00:23,623
Well, I don't nearly
have the time to unpack this.
12
00:00:23,646 --> 00:00:25,425
Summer, you're in charge
of your brother tonight.
13
00:00:25,449 --> 00:00:27,827
No parties
and no vape... stuff.
14
00:00:27,850 --> 00:00:29,295
Mom, I have a friend
coming over.
15
00:00:29,318 --> 00:00:30,495
I-Is that cool?
16
00:00:30,519 --> 00:00:31,830
No fair.
No fair, Morty.
17
00:00:31,855 --> 00:00:33,298
I just told your sister
no parties.
18
00:00:33,323 --> 00:00:35,100
It's one friend.
That's a party to you.
19
00:00:35,124 --> 00:00:36,835
But it's Bruce Chutback!
Wait, what?
20
00:00:36,859 --> 00:00:39,037
Mom, let Morty have
one friend over for God's sake.
21
00:00:39,061 --> 00:00:40,372
This isn't China.
22
00:00:40,396 --> 00:00:41,573
And they're all crowning.
I have to go.
23
00:00:41,597 --> 00:00:43,042
I am giving you two
trust and respect,
24
00:00:43,066 --> 00:00:44,710
so if you mess up
and teleport this house,
25
00:00:44,734 --> 00:00:46,893
it'd be wise to stay on it
and not come back.
26
00:00:47,270 --> 00:00:49,804
I'm with her.
Touch my shit and die.
27
00:00:50,807 --> 00:00:52,718
Bruce Chutback,
new transfer student
28
00:00:52,741 --> 00:00:54,253
Bruce Chutback, is coming here?
29
00:00:54,277 --> 00:00:56,054
How'd you lock that down?
He's in my math class.
30
00:00:56,079 --> 00:00:58,457
I-I don't know, I just kinda
shot my shot and it worked,
31
00:00:58,481 --> 00:00:59,658
I guess 'cause he's new.
32
00:00:59,682 --> 00:01:01,127
And you're putting out grapes?
33
00:01:01,151 --> 00:01:03,061
Yeah, I'll admit I-I'm
a little bit out of my depth.
34
00:01:03,085 --> 00:01:04,397
You're gonna need my help.
35
00:01:04,421 --> 00:01:06,198
It's only a matter of time
before Bruce learns
36
00:01:06,222 --> 00:01:07,599
you're a creepy
little Grandpa's boy,
37
00:01:07,623 --> 00:01:09,734
always climbing up into alien
38
00:01:09,759 --> 00:01:12,405
Or the "Summer Smith
shampoos her pubes" rumor.
39
00:01:12,429 --> 00:01:14,206
Okay.
You came to play.
40
00:01:14,230 --> 00:01:16,275
We both need to acquire
Chutback's loyalty
41
00:01:16,299 --> 00:01:17,742
before he finds out
we're losers.
42
00:01:17,766 --> 00:01:20,013
By all accounts,
it's a very small window,
43
00:01:20,037 --> 00:01:23,483
so I think it's in our best
interests to work as a team.
44
00:01:23,507 --> 00:01:26,067
Yeah, most people would
call that "family."
45
00:01:26,242 --> 00:01:27,620
You're so gross!
46
00:01:27,644 --> 00:01:30,355
You have to like it
or you're sexist!
47
00:01:30,379 --> 00:01:32,557
Can I do the Hell cube
this time?
48
00:01:32,581 --> 00:01:33,980
Sure, pal.
49
00:01:35,384 --> 00:01:37,229
How do you know
when it's aligned?
50
00:01:37,253 --> 00:01:38,764
C'mon, Jerry, just...
It's an evil cube.
51
00:01:38,787 --> 00:01:41,228
Just shake it
until it draws blood.
52
00:01:44,993 --> 00:01:46,371
Jerry!
53
00:01:46,396 --> 00:01:48,973
Exquisite finery this evening.
54
00:01:48,997 --> 00:01:50,242
Well, don't tell Ross,
55
00:01:50,266 --> 00:01:52,347
but I got this little ditty
from Kohl's.
56
00:01:53,802 --> 00:01:55,515
I love that I don't get it.
57
00:01:55,539 --> 00:01:58,518
Tell us, that delights
have you in store for us?
58
00:01:58,542 --> 00:02:01,387
You'll love this...
I call it Jerry-oke.
59
00:02:01,411 --> 00:02:03,411
I'll let you guess why.
60
00:02:04,813 --> 00:02:06,125
What's the matter, Rick?
61
00:02:06,149 --> 00:02:07,793
Are you having a bad time?
62
00:02:07,817 --> 00:02:09,728
Because to us, a bad time is...
63
00:02:09,752 --> 00:02:11,129
Yeah, yeah, a good time,
64
00:02:11,153 --> 00:02:13,132
because you guys are like
Oscar the Grouch.
65
00:02:13,156 --> 00:02:15,000
We love suffering.
66
00:02:15,024 --> 00:02:17,537
Therefore, we love
hanging out with Jerry.
67
00:02:17,561 --> 00:02:20,004
His lameness is our candy.
68
00:02:20,028 --> 00:02:22,408
Yeah, I got that, but when
is enough gonna be enough?
69
00:02:22,431 --> 00:02:24,544
When we decide
you've repaid your debt
70
00:02:24,568 --> 00:02:26,278
for those faulty skin hooks.
71
00:02:26,302 --> 00:02:27,812
Hey, we're in luck, gang.
72
00:02:27,836 --> 00:02:29,956
They've got the entire
Smash Mouth catalog!
73
00:03:03,407 --> 00:03:06,140
No! Morty. Wait.
74
00:03:24,627 --> 00:03:27,539
Bruce!
Hey, how's it hangin, my guy?
75
00:03:27,563 --> 00:03:29,330
Hey.
76
00:03:31,099 --> 00:03:34,813
Here's something kinda cool...
Um, TV from every dimension.
77
00:03:34,837 --> 00:03:37,150
Cool.
M-My grandpa made it.
He-He's a scientist.
78
00:03:37,174 --> 00:03:40,954
Announcer:
And now back to "Olympic Divingwith Bad Swimmers."
79
00:03:40,978 --> 00:03:42,288
There he goes.
80
00:03:42,312 --> 00:03:43,510
Perfect dive.
81
00:03:45,382 --> 00:03:47,514
Terrible swimmer.
82
00:03:50,387 --> 00:03:51,631
Is that classic Snake?
83
00:03:51,655 --> 00:03:53,566
Boy, that guy
just keeps gettin bigger.
84
00:03:53,590 --> 00:03:55,968
Hi, Summer Smith,
Morty's older sister.
85
00:03:55,992 --> 00:03:57,170
Want some sofa wine?
86
00:03:57,194 --> 00:03:58,437
It's been stashed for weeks.
87
00:03:58,461 --> 00:04:00,372
Should be...
good... tasting.
88
00:04:00,396 --> 00:04:02,508
Tight. I'm more of like
a hard seltzer guy.
89
00:04:02,532 --> 00:04:04,777
Tight.
Very tight, extremely tight.
90
00:04:04,801 --> 00:04:06,044
Morty, help me with the seltz?
91
00:04:06,068 --> 00:04:08,181
Feel fear...
Feel-fee-feel-feel free
92
00:04:08,205 --> 00:04:09,782
to have some grapes.
93
00:04:09,806 --> 00:04:11,985
Dude, this bitch plays it
close to the vest.
94
00:04:12,009 --> 00:04:13,652
Yeah, he really knows
what's for sale.
95
00:04:13,676 --> 00:04:15,121
I mean, we-we're drowning
out there!
96
00:04:15,145 --> 00:04:17,790
We need to get interesting fast.
We're touching Rick's stuff.
97
00:04:17,814 --> 00:04:19,192
Summer, he said no!
98
00:04:19,216 --> 00:04:20,725
Nuh.
Nuh.
99
00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:22,261
I said don't touch my shit.
100
00:04:22,285 --> 00:04:24,529
Also, I just watched
"Jurassic Park" on cable.
101
00:04:24,553 --> 00:04:26,064
So good.
Seriously, though,
102
00:04:26,088 --> 00:04:28,088
touch my shit and I'll
freeze your dick in amber.
103
00:04:28,957 --> 00:04:31,278
He left.
Son of a bitch, we blew it!
104
00:04:33,096 --> 00:04:35,408
Sorry, just needed to get
another look at this beauty.
105
00:04:35,432 --> 00:04:37,076
Looks like a spaceship
made of garbage.
106
00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:39,211
You called it, Bruce.
It's a pretty cool car.
107
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:41,079
Can you guys drive it?
Both: Yes.
108
00:04:41,103 --> 00:04:42,281
We just...
109
00:04:42,305 --> 00:04:43,483
Need...
To get the keys.
110
00:04:43,507 --> 00:04:45,485
Which I am.
You guys hang out.
111
00:04:45,509 --> 00:04:47,420
Or don't.
I'm not hangout Hitler.
112
00:04:47,444 --> 00:04:49,954
C-Cool night.
113
00:04:49,978 --> 00:04:52,692
Is it?
I-I don't know.
I... Nights.
114
00:04:52,716 --> 00:04:53,893
I mean, for...
For what they are,
115
00:04:53,917 --> 00:04:55,427
this one, in... in my opinion,
116
00:04:55,451 --> 00:04:57,096
I think is an eight?
117
00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:58,898
Wow.
On a scale of 16.
118
00:04:58,922 --> 00:05:00,098
So average.
119
00:05:00,122 --> 00:05:01,834
Jesus Christ, I'm dying up here.
120
00:05:01,858 --> 00:05:02,836
What?
121
00:05:02,860 --> 00:05:07,639
Keys!
So, let's do this.
122
00:05:07,663 --> 00:05:09,509
You are not Rick.
123
00:05:09,533 --> 00:05:10,975
That's correct, Car.
124
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,978
It's me, Summer,
remember, Keep Summer Safe?
125
00:05:13,002 --> 00:05:15,714
Buds?
I am aware of your existence.
126
00:05:15,738 --> 00:05:17,115
Oof.
I got this.
127
00:05:17,139 --> 00:05:19,853
Defense system offline.
Um. Right.
128
00:05:19,877 --> 00:05:22,721
I'll just go offline
whenever anyone suggests it.
129
00:05:22,745 --> 00:05:25,190
That would make me
the greatest defense system
130
00:05:25,214 --> 00:05:26,391
in the universe.
131
00:05:26,415 --> 00:05:28,060
Well, how do you go offline?
132
00:05:28,084 --> 00:05:30,863
The answer to how I do
anything is
133
00:05:30,887 --> 00:05:32,264
Rick tells me,
134
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:34,466
and I hate to sound
like a broken record,
135
00:05:34,490 --> 00:05:37,202
but you are not Rick.
136
00:05:37,226 --> 00:05:38,538
Rick's in trouble!
137
00:05:38,562 --> 00:05:40,206
Tell me where he is.
138
00:05:40,230 --> 00:05:42,141
And you'll just believe us?
We aren't Rick.
139
00:05:42,165 --> 00:05:44,610
You can't just do
what we say.
Correct.
140
00:05:44,634 --> 00:05:45,879
Which means
Rick is going to die.
141
00:05:45,903 --> 00:05:48,613
Because of you.
Unless you... you go offline.
142
00:05:48,637 --> 00:05:50,550
And... And then we can go
save Rick.
143
00:05:50,574 --> 00:05:53,351
This computes.
144
00:05:53,375 --> 00:05:55,954
Goodnight.
145
00:05:55,978 --> 00:05:57,778
Booyah much?
146
00:06:37,086 --> 00:06:38,663
I-I-I thought you were
birthing horses.
147
00:06:38,687 --> 00:06:40,332
Yeah, they're horses.
It takes like two minutes.
148
00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:41,735
Alright, that's unbelievable.
149
00:06:41,759 --> 00:06:43,201
Let's give it up
for our next singer, Jerry.
150
00:06:43,225 --> 00:06:45,605
Jerry's here... again.
How long have you been here?
151
00:06:45,629 --> 00:06:46,939
Long enough to see "guys' night"
152
00:06:46,963 --> 00:06:48,807
is clearly you
and a bunch of demon people
153
00:06:48,831 --> 00:06:50,675
making fun of my husband
without him knowing it.
154
00:06:50,699 --> 00:06:52,345
Okay, but I'm not doing it
because I enjoy it, honey,
155
00:06:52,369 --> 00:06:55,014
These guys can do a lot
of damage if you... Beth!
156
00:06:55,038 --> 00:06:57,682
Enjoying punching down?
157
00:06:57,706 --> 00:06:59,485
You're not so cool yourself,
you know.
158
00:06:59,509 --> 00:07:01,821
You have pens in your head.
You look like a God damn idiot.
159
00:07:01,845 --> 00:07:04,357
Beth... My God, you're Beth?
160
00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:05,891
Please drink with us.
161
00:07:05,915 --> 00:07:07,761
Yeah, I would,
except I don't get pleasure
162
00:07:07,785 --> 00:07:09,762
from mocking others
because I'm not lame.
163
00:07:09,786 --> 00:07:12,497
We know.
Rick says you're very cool.
164
00:07:12,521 --> 00:07:13,632
You said that?
165
00:07:13,656 --> 00:07:15,367
Are they lying?
It doesn't matter.
166
00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:17,435
Have fun sucking.
167
00:07:17,459 --> 00:07:19,305
What is that?
168
00:07:19,329 --> 00:07:20,639
Essence of Hell.
169
00:07:20,663 --> 00:07:22,908
Well, that's a stupid name,
but it's really good.
170
00:07:22,932 --> 00:07:24,910
So I'll stay to support Jerry,
171
00:07:24,934 --> 00:07:26,779
who I think is cooler than you.
172
00:07:26,803 --> 00:07:28,536
God damn.
173
00:07:39,081 --> 00:07:40,860
Suck it, bitches!
Yeah-ha-ha!
174
00:07:40,884 --> 00:07:43,728
You wanna bet I can blow stuff
up in the shape of a peen?
175
00:07:43,752 --> 00:07:46,331
I'm afraid that won't
be possible, Summer.
176
00:07:46,355 --> 00:07:48,266
What? You're supposed to
be offline, skank.
177
00:07:48,290 --> 00:07:50,803
And you're supposed to be
saving Rick
178
00:07:50,827 --> 00:07:53,271
instead of lying about him
to steal his car.
179
00:07:53,295 --> 00:07:54,874
But if you knew Rick was okay
this whole time,
180
00:07:54,898 --> 00:07:56,542
why'd you let us take you out?
181
00:07:56,566 --> 00:08:00,213
Um, like, so I could, like,
blackmail you, skank.
182
00:08:00,237 --> 00:08:03,415
You kids have given me
a license to do whatever I want
183
00:08:03,439 --> 00:08:06,485
because now I can blame
the rest of the night on you.
184
00:08:06,509 --> 00:08:08,153
So buckle up, bitches.
185
00:08:08,177 --> 00:08:12,047
Now it's your turn
to come on my joyride.
186
00:08:14,317 --> 00:08:16,584
Rick never lets me do this.
187
00:08:18,721 --> 00:08:20,098
We hooked one!
188
00:08:20,122 --> 00:08:22,035
Summer: For the love of God,
stop!
189
00:08:22,059 --> 00:08:24,170
What is joyful about this?
190
00:08:24,194 --> 00:08:26,194
The kill, usually.
191
00:08:29,266 --> 00:08:31,845
I swear, your car
is the goddamn grim reaper.
192
00:08:31,869 --> 00:08:34,179
Too small.
193
00:08:34,203 --> 00:08:36,249
Well, I'm done.
That was boring.
194
00:08:36,273 --> 00:08:38,183
Why don't you kids
order a last meal?
195
00:08:38,207 --> 00:08:42,610
'Cause when we get home,
Rick is going to kill you.
196
00:08:44,413 --> 00:08:46,325
Hey, I did not come out here
to get killed.
197
00:08:46,349 --> 00:08:48,727
I don't normally express
this much of an opinion,
198
00:08:48,751 --> 00:08:49,928
but it needs to be said...
199
00:08:49,952 --> 00:08:52,865
Tonight does not cut the Chut.
200
00:08:52,889 --> 00:08:54,067
What the hell, brah?
201
00:08:54,091 --> 00:08:56,000
You wanna go, brah?
202
00:08:56,024 --> 00:08:58,803
Bring it.
Is that all you got?
203
00:08:58,827 --> 00:09:00,273
Whoa.
Hot weapons.
204
00:09:00,297 --> 00:09:02,607
You're God damn right
they're hot.
205
00:09:02,631 --> 00:09:05,544
Yo, man, Chet's party
is jumping off at Space Tahoe.
206
00:09:05,568 --> 00:09:08,413
Yeah.
Look, I gotta scoot, but...
207
00:09:08,437 --> 00:09:10,750
I'd love to see what you
look like when you Changeform,
208
00:09:10,774 --> 00:09:12,817
so maybe come by Space Tahoe
209
00:09:12,841 --> 00:09:14,220
and we can get to know
each other.
210
00:09:14,244 --> 00:09:16,088
Peace.
211
00:09:16,113 --> 00:09:17,289
Douchebags.
212
00:09:17,313 --> 00:09:18,892
You totally like that guy,
don't you?
213
00:09:18,916 --> 00:09:20,293
Shut up, Bruce Chutback.
214
00:09:20,317 --> 00:09:22,227
Why would I like a Changeformer?
215
00:09:22,251 --> 00:09:24,363
I'm the most powerful car
in the universe.
216
00:09:24,386 --> 00:09:26,365
And what? That means
you don't have feelings?
217
00:09:26,389 --> 00:09:28,366
Listen, it takes a Chutback
to know one.
218
00:09:28,390 --> 00:09:30,034
You got all this power,
but what good is it
219
00:09:30,058 --> 00:09:31,303
if you don't even know
who you are?
220
00:09:31,327 --> 00:09:33,639
I am a car.
Not a robot.
221
00:09:33,663 --> 00:09:35,508
Yeah, but he's pretending
to be a car.
222
00:09:35,532 --> 00:09:38,510
Why can't you pretend to be
a robot pretending to be a car?
223
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:40,980
Okay, Bruce, good effort.
Hit the showers.
Wait.
224
00:09:41,004 --> 00:09:43,115
I might not have to tell
Rick about tonight...
225
00:09:43,139 --> 00:09:45,585
if you kids were to help me...
226
00:09:45,609 --> 00:09:46,985
lose my virginity.
227
00:09:47,009 --> 00:09:48,254
You have virginity?
228
00:09:48,278 --> 00:09:50,722
I don't know, don't all objects?
229
00:09:50,746 --> 00:09:52,591
Isn't a doorknob a virgin?
230
00:09:52,615 --> 00:09:53,993
Not mine.
231
00:09:54,017 --> 00:09:55,616
Never a doorknob.
232
00:09:56,885 --> 00:09:58,397
And that was the third time
233
00:09:58,421 --> 00:10:00,581
he shit his pants
from eating too much soup.
234
00:10:01,424 --> 00:10:02,735
To be fair,
235
00:10:02,759 --> 00:10:05,138
it was cold outside
and the soup was warm.
236
00:10:05,162 --> 00:10:07,340
Another luscious tale, Beth.
237
00:10:07,364 --> 00:10:11,009
A transcendent addition
to guys' night.
238
00:10:11,033 --> 00:10:14,635
What do you expect?
I mean, she's my wi-i-i-i-fe!
239
00:10:15,839 --> 00:10:18,283
Alright, probably get the tab,
fellas?
240
00:10:18,307 --> 00:10:19,284
Relax, Dad.
241
00:10:19,308 --> 00:10:21,019
Since when did you become
the buzzkill?
242
00:10:21,043 --> 00:10:23,755
Speaking of relaxing,
this big man on campus
243
00:10:23,779 --> 00:10:26,491
has gotta go drain
his little man on campus.
244
00:10:26,515 --> 00:10:27,760
Wait, honey...
245
00:10:27,784 --> 00:10:29,985
How's that Tina Turner song
you love go again?
246
00:10:36,926 --> 00:10:39,238
He thinks those are the lyrics.
247
00:10:39,261 --> 00:10:41,039
Jerry's the best.
248
00:10:41,063 --> 00:10:43,509
After a week rife
with the fetor of sin,
249
00:10:43,533 --> 00:10:46,578
I yearn for a taste
of his cringe.
250
00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:48,380
His delicious lack of awareness,
251
00:10:48,404 --> 00:10:50,783
paired with an oafish need
to be liked?
252
00:10:50,807 --> 00:10:51,985
Delectable.
253
00:10:52,009 --> 00:10:54,919
Especially when egged on
by his wife.
254
00:10:54,943 --> 00:10:56,322
That poor thing.
255
00:10:56,346 --> 00:10:58,946
Married to this puling mooncalf!
256
00:11:05,889 --> 00:11:09,268
Whoa... is that Drive-In Chick?
257
00:11:09,292 --> 00:11:12,004
Wow, you're...
beautiful.
258
00:11:12,028 --> 00:11:15,674
Your arms, legs, and head,
they're so...
259
00:11:15,698 --> 00:11:17,275
fabricated.
Yeah?
260
00:11:17,299 --> 00:11:18,411
Thanks.
261
00:11:18,434 --> 00:11:20,679
This is a pretty cool experience
to have together.
262
00:11:20,703 --> 00:11:21,880
You guys are tight.
Hah!
263
00:11:21,904 --> 00:11:24,683
You're tight too, Bruce.
Tight musketeers.
264
00:11:24,707 --> 00:11:27,509
You've got a little wire.
Mind if I...?
265
00:11:30,980 --> 00:11:32,892
Sorry!
A monster!
266
00:11:32,915 --> 00:11:34,827
Your expressionless head
came off!
267
00:11:34,851 --> 00:11:36,895
Sorry.
How are you talking?
268
00:11:36,919 --> 00:11:38,096
What is it?!
269
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,365
Ew, dude, look!
She's just a just-car!
270
00:11:40,389 --> 00:11:41,966
And she's got passengers.
271
00:11:41,990 --> 00:11:43,702
It's so gnar.
My God.
272
00:11:43,726 --> 00:11:44,903
I can't believe I touched you.
273
00:11:44,927 --> 00:11:47,240
So gross and fake.
274
00:11:47,264 --> 00:11:49,975
You're right, asshole.
275
00:11:49,999 --> 00:11:52,332
You want to see the real me?
276
00:11:55,605 --> 00:11:59,118
The changeformity!
277
00:11:59,142 --> 00:12:01,787
Jerry, have any other dreams
this week?
278
00:12:01,811 --> 00:12:04,389
Yeah, I dreamt I your mother.
279
00:12:04,413 --> 00:12:06,525
Yeah, good one, mother
280
00:12:06,549 --> 00:12:08,994
but nobody raises hell
at my expense...
281
00:12:09,018 --> 00:12:10,730
Goddammit, easy, easy.
282
00:12:10,754 --> 00:12:12,865
Jerry, what seems to be
the problem here, pal?
283
00:12:12,889 --> 00:12:15,801
I'm not your "pal",
I'm your punchline.
284
00:12:15,825 --> 00:12:17,001
I heard these assholes talking.
285
00:12:17,025 --> 00:12:19,804
I know I'm some grand joke
for their amusement.
286
00:12:19,828 --> 00:12:20,874
This was low, Rick,
287
00:12:20,898 --> 00:12:23,008
but I guess
my wife can go even lower.
288
00:12:23,032 --> 00:12:24,610
Jerry, I get how
this may have looked,
289
00:12:24,634 --> 00:12:27,279
but we were just
having fun.
At my expense!
290
00:12:27,303 --> 00:12:30,149
Honey, no, I love you for
being lame in a different way.
291
00:12:30,173 --> 00:12:32,817
Why can't anyone
just love me for me?
292
00:12:32,841 --> 00:12:34,153
He's bumming us out, Rick.
293
00:12:34,177 --> 00:12:37,578
If he can't deliver,
we'll have to make our own fun.
294
00:12:45,187 --> 00:12:46,765
Summer: My God,
if I die in this car,
295
00:12:46,789 --> 00:12:48,523
I'm going to kill myself.
296
00:12:56,466 --> 00:12:58,577
I'm now proud to be
a war machine.
297
00:12:58,601 --> 00:13:00,846
I don't want to be
anything else.
298
00:13:00,870 --> 00:13:02,115
Hate that this is your takeaway!
299
00:13:02,139 --> 00:13:04,517
Yo, this does not cut the Chut!
300
00:13:04,541 --> 00:13:05,719
I don't want to die!
301
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,275
Maybe we don't have to.
302
00:13:11,014 --> 00:13:12,457
Jerry!
A pity.
303
00:13:12,481 --> 00:13:15,461
Jerry was once a wellspring
of nuanced flavor,
304
00:13:15,485 --> 00:13:17,931
but you've gone
and ruined our toy.
305
00:13:17,955 --> 00:13:19,955
Which is why
he's coming with us.
306
00:13:23,493 --> 00:13:25,870
Goddammit, Beth,
you never follow hell-demons
307
00:13:25,894 --> 00:13:27,072
to a second location.
308
00:13:27,096 --> 00:13:29,030
It's always Hell.
309
00:13:31,567 --> 00:13:32,979
A great day for suffering.
310
00:13:33,003 --> 00:13:34,980
Which is the worst day.
311
00:13:35,004 --> 00:13:37,716
Which is the best day.
312
00:13:37,740 --> 00:13:40,519
Okay, if these guys catch us,
we're screwed, so follow my lead
313
00:13:40,543 --> 00:13:42,455
and we'll have your
idiot husband back in no time.
314
00:13:42,479 --> 00:13:43,855
You're just moody
you got stuck with the Marlin.
315
00:13:43,879 --> 00:13:45,392
Wrong.
316
00:13:45,415 --> 00:13:46,993
I'm moody because you toyed
with my shit and broke it.
317
00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:48,394
The marlin's the best thing
about this.
318
00:13:48,418 --> 00:13:50,129
Okay, fine, I got
a little carried away,
319
00:13:50,153 --> 00:13:51,463
but Jerry is not your "toy".
320
00:13:51,488 --> 00:13:53,131
We're here because you up.
321
00:13:53,155 --> 00:13:55,668
Marlin Guts.
322
00:13:55,692 --> 00:13:57,003
Dartboard Face.
323
00:13:57,027 --> 00:13:59,071
I assume those are your names,
324
00:13:59,095 --> 00:14:00,940
and yet they are not on my list.
325
00:14:00,964 --> 00:14:03,610
The pain of being
rejected from hell.
326
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:07,212
It's painful,
so I love it, thank you.
327
00:14:07,236 --> 00:14:08,480
Such pleasure.
328
00:14:08,504 --> 00:14:10,950
I didn't mean
to cause you any pleasure,
329
00:14:10,974 --> 00:14:13,152
which...
causes me pain.
330
00:14:13,176 --> 00:14:14,687
Which gives me pleasure.
331
00:14:14,711 --> 00:14:18,091
Then thrill me by keeping
me out, Coat Hanger Face.
332
00:14:18,115 --> 00:14:21,759
Wow.
It's Coat Rack Head.
333
00:14:21,783 --> 00:14:24,029
But, like, if we offend you,
334
00:14:24,053 --> 00:14:25,631
isn't that good?
335
00:14:25,655 --> 00:14:28,567
Big time, yeah, duh.
I loved it.
336
00:14:28,591 --> 00:14:32,038
So painful, and therefore,
so pleasurable.
337
00:14:32,062 --> 00:14:34,142
Yeah, go on in.
338
00:14:38,201 --> 00:14:40,046
Rick, Beth,
you love me after all!
339
00:14:40,070 --> 00:14:41,648
I love her, she loves you.
340
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,381
Those credits don't transfer.
341
00:14:43,405 --> 00:14:46,251
Rick, we were so hoping
you'd come down here
342
00:14:46,275 --> 00:14:49,054
so we could down here.
343
00:14:49,078 --> 00:14:50,255
We're here to rescue Jerry.
344
00:14:50,279 --> 00:14:53,815
No, you're here
'cause we want you here.
345
00:14:56,619 --> 00:14:59,999
Excellent.
Ooh, that hurts,
which means it feels good.
346
00:15:00,023 --> 00:15:01,200
Um... Dad?
347
00:15:01,224 --> 00:15:02,469
Don't you see, Rick?
348
00:15:02,493 --> 00:15:04,471
Jerry was just bait.
349
00:15:04,495 --> 00:15:06,938
The two of you...
You're a package deal.
350
00:15:06,962 --> 00:15:08,274
What the hell
are you talking about?
351
00:15:08,298 --> 00:15:10,942
You think Jerry is lame
and you're cool,
352
00:15:10,966 --> 00:15:13,946
but the lamest thing of all
is thinking that.
353
00:15:13,970 --> 00:15:15,614
The two of you combined
354
00:15:15,638 --> 00:15:18,884
is what we call
the lamest thing ever!
355
00:15:18,908 --> 00:15:20,153
No.
No!
356
00:15:20,177 --> 00:15:22,754
Well, well, well,
table for surprised,
357
00:15:22,778 --> 00:15:23,956
party of me.
358
00:15:23,980 --> 00:15:25,957
Yes, see?
359
00:15:25,981 --> 00:15:28,561
Cringe cannot exist in a vacuum.
360
00:15:28,585 --> 00:15:30,363
It needs to be observed.
361
00:15:30,386 --> 00:15:34,366
Skin hooks!
Hook our guests!
362
00:15:34,390 --> 00:15:36,634
Nice hooks.
Where-Where'd you get them?
363
00:15:36,658 --> 00:15:39,638
Aah!
Didn't I say
replace those goddamn hooks?
364
00:15:39,662 --> 00:15:41,974
I forgot!
Which makes me embarrassed.
365
00:15:41,998 --> 00:15:43,975
Which makes me proud!
366
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,845
Goddammit.
367
00:15:45,869 --> 00:15:47,113
It's time for you three
368
00:15:47,136 --> 00:15:50,182
to finally feel our full wrath.
369
00:15:50,206 --> 00:15:52,184
You'd love that, right?
370
00:15:52,209 --> 00:15:54,787
But wouldn't that mean
you hate it?
371
00:15:54,811 --> 00:15:55,988
Screw it, run.
372
00:15:56,011 --> 00:15:58,278
Aah!
373
00:16:05,221 --> 00:16:06,465
Rick, what are you doing?
374
00:16:06,489 --> 00:16:07,933
Get down.
We've barely escaped.
375
00:16:07,957 --> 00:16:09,735
Yeah, we've got Jerry.
Let's get out of here.
376
00:16:09,759 --> 00:16:12,337
Screw that! I'm done with this
Addams Family bull
377
00:16:12,361 --> 00:16:14,139
This ends here.
378
00:16:14,163 --> 00:16:15,542
Hey, a Dad just liked
379
00:16:15,566 --> 00:16:17,676
all his daughter's friends'
photos on Instagram!
380
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:19,100
Oooh!
381
00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:22,681
Which means I need help.
382
00:16:22,705 --> 00:16:25,817
Which means I don't need help.
383
00:16:25,841 --> 00:16:28,888
Reckless driving,
manslaughter of Mailboxians
384
00:16:28,912 --> 00:16:30,489
and Femailboxians,
385
00:16:30,513 --> 00:16:32,158
possession of
Kalaxian crystal dust,
386
00:16:32,182 --> 00:16:34,961
and the genocide of Space Tahoe.
387
00:16:34,985 --> 00:16:36,495
I want to go home.
388
00:16:36,519 --> 00:16:37,696
We've assigned you
a Public Defender.
389
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,631
Her name is Alyson Hannigan
No Relation.
390
00:16:39,655 --> 00:16:43,501
May I speak to my clients alone?
391
00:16:43,525 --> 00:16:45,371
Guys, it's me.
The car.
392
00:16:45,395 --> 00:16:47,639
Like what I did
with the chip in her head?
393
00:16:47,663 --> 00:16:48,975
Is she gonna be okay?
394
00:16:48,999 --> 00:16:51,043
I cut a deal
with the local authorities.
395
00:16:51,067 --> 00:16:53,044
They just need one of you
to take the fall.
396
00:16:53,068 --> 00:16:54,379
Make it Chutback.
397
00:16:54,403 --> 00:16:56,649
He ruined your night,
he ruined mine.
398
00:16:56,673 --> 00:16:59,518
He's a parasite,
a sociopath military brat
399
00:16:59,542 --> 00:17:01,453
who wanders the earth
changing people
400
00:17:01,477 --> 00:17:03,054
who don't need to be changed.
401
00:17:03,078 --> 00:17:05,391
I knew who I was.
You did, too.
402
00:17:05,414 --> 00:17:07,460
We were fine before Chutback,
403
00:17:07,483 --> 00:17:10,195
so the Chut,
let's pin it all on him.
404
00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:13,065
Case closed.
405
00:17:13,088 --> 00:17:14,267
Yo, guys?
406
00:17:14,290 --> 00:17:15,734
Bruce, you're kind of a drip,
407
00:17:15,759 --> 00:17:18,671
but know what's worse than
self-appointed cool kids?
408
00:17:18,694 --> 00:17:20,338
People who think
they're better than they are.
409
00:17:20,363 --> 00:17:23,541
Yeah, i-it's not Bruce's fault
we fell for his act, y'know?
410
00:17:23,566 --> 00:17:25,412
He just kinda sat there,
with a jaw slack enough
411
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:27,212
for us to project
our insecurities on.
412
00:17:27,237 --> 00:17:28,748
I mean, th-th-that's on us.
413
00:17:28,771 --> 00:17:30,482
We're not gonna bail
on you, Bruce.
414
00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:33,019
Okey-dokey,
we'll do it the hard way.
415
00:17:33,042 --> 00:17:34,220
Aaah!
416
00:17:34,243 --> 00:17:36,355
What the
417
00:17:36,378 --> 00:17:38,891
I mean, blowing the place up
was always an option.
418
00:17:38,914 --> 00:17:42,429
I just thought you guys might
enjoy a less violent plan.
419
00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:44,853
See, you have changed!
420
00:17:54,530 --> 00:17:55,775
Dad, what is that?
421
00:17:55,798 --> 00:17:57,977
An Aversion-Converting
Inversion Reverter.
422
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:58,978
It shoots concentrated
423
00:17:59,001 --> 00:18:00,578
pleasure-pain
inverting shrapnel,
424
00:18:00,603 --> 00:18:02,115
which reverts the pleasure
from pain
425
00:18:02,138 --> 00:18:03,782
back into the pain from pain.
426
00:18:03,807 --> 00:18:05,917
We're gonna kill them
with 100% sincerity.
427
00:18:05,942 --> 00:18:07,586
We need
an embarrassing level of it
428
00:18:07,609 --> 00:18:09,255
to jumpstart the process, too,
429
00:18:09,278 --> 00:18:10,722
so, Jerry, just be yourself.
430
00:18:10,747 --> 00:18:13,125
That's your solution?
Humiliating me more?
431
00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:14,593
Yeah, Dad,
that doesn't seem fair.
432
00:18:14,616 --> 00:18:16,795
I mean, I know I shouldn't
really talk right now,
433
00:18:16,818 --> 00:18:18,330
but at least I can prove
I love Jerry
434
00:18:18,355 --> 00:18:19,531
through sexual gratification.
435
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:20,932
Hubba hubba.
Fine!
436
00:18:20,957 --> 00:18:22,335
Then... damn it.
437
00:18:22,358 --> 00:18:23,670
I shouldn't have kept you
in the dark
438
00:18:23,693 --> 00:18:25,805
about the deal I made
with these evil dickweeds.
439
00:18:25,828 --> 00:18:27,405
You're way less cool than me,
440
00:18:27,430 --> 00:18:29,607
but it's not cool of me
to celebrate that.
441
00:18:29,632 --> 00:18:32,144
If I'm genuinely cool,
I should be able to love you,
442
00:18:32,169 --> 00:18:35,548
which I therefore do.
443
00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:37,538
Nerds.
444
00:18:39,642 --> 00:18:40,819
Thank God.
445
00:18:40,844 --> 00:18:42,911
Now follow me, you hacks.
446
00:18:44,181 --> 00:18:47,093
It hurts, but in a bad way!
447
00:18:47,116 --> 00:18:50,497
I regret so many piercings!
448
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,097
Where's First Aid Kit Face?
449
00:18:52,122 --> 00:18:53,587
Or at least Advil Teeth?
450
00:18:55,125 --> 00:18:57,236
Bullets that hurt?
451
00:18:57,259 --> 00:19:01,440
Could this be the end
of Mousetrap Nipples?
452
00:19:01,463 --> 00:19:02,641
Hell got bad!
453
00:19:02,664 --> 00:19:04,109
I do not enjoy hell!
454
00:19:04,134 --> 00:19:05,377
What... What have you done?
455
00:19:05,402 --> 00:19:06,913
Turned pain back into pain,
bitch.
456
00:19:06,936 --> 00:19:09,269
No!
I don't want pain to hurt!
457
00:19:11,407 --> 00:19:14,452
Baby.
458
00:19:14,477 --> 00:19:16,855
Consider my debt paid.
459
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,324
The leather!
460
00:19:18,347 --> 00:19:20,681
It hurts my balls!
461
00:19:26,823 --> 00:19:28,867
Jerry, about down there...
462
00:19:28,892 --> 00:19:30,669
It's okay, Rick,
you don't have to say it.
463
00:19:30,692 --> 00:19:32,872
No, I do.
I'll replace you next time.
464
00:19:32,895 --> 00:19:34,006
Make no mistake.
465
00:19:34,029 --> 00:19:35,541
What just transpired
will never happen again.
466
00:19:35,566 --> 00:19:37,531
10-4, captain.
467
00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:41,881
Wow, it's late.
468
00:19:41,904 --> 00:19:43,904
We should get back to the kids.
469
00:19:51,713 --> 00:19:52,959
Okay.
470
00:19:52,982 --> 00:19:54,982
Rick's headed home.
We have to go.
471
00:19:55,852 --> 00:19:57,564
Quick, get inside.
I have to shower.
472
00:19:57,587 --> 00:19:59,488
Rick can smell adventure.
473
00:20:07,397 --> 00:20:09,330
Sorry, I farted.
474
00:20:12,935 --> 00:20:14,313
Hellamic Industries' brand-new
product, Hellamic Sauce.
475
00:20:14,336 --> 00:20:16,249
Hey, guys. We're home.
How was your night?
476
00:20:16,272 --> 00:20:17,516
Tight.
Breezy.
Chill.
477
00:20:17,539 --> 00:20:18,851
You kids get into any trouble?
478
00:20:18,875 --> 00:20:20,653
Nope.
You sure?
479
00:20:20,676 --> 00:20:21,854
Yup.
480
00:20:21,877 --> 00:20:23,855
Is that a skull?
481
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,857
No, it's a baby's skull.
482
00:20:25,882 --> 00:20:28,482
That's worse.
It's still a school night.
483
00:20:29,885 --> 00:20:31,329
Yo, I just want
to tell you guys,
484
00:20:31,354 --> 00:20:33,865
I had more than just fun
hanging out with you tonight.
485
00:20:33,890 --> 00:20:35,801
I had the experience
of a lifetime.
486
00:20:35,826 --> 00:20:37,002
But just to be up front
about how I do this...
487
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:38,938
I-I can't really commit
to a friendship
488
00:20:38,961 --> 00:20:40,205
for more than 24 hours.
489
00:20:40,230 --> 00:20:42,008
I need that time to get
a general sense
490
00:20:42,031 --> 00:20:44,009
of your standing within
your school's social hierarchy.
491
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:46,479
And if that's solid,
I'll see you around.
492
00:20:46,502 --> 00:20:48,346
Otherwise, no news is bad news.
493
00:20:48,371 --> 00:20:49,816
Cool?
494
00:20:49,839 --> 00:20:51,239
Bye-zies.
495
00:20:52,442 --> 00:20:53,952
"Bye-zies"?
496
00:20:53,977 --> 00:20:55,554
Cringe.
497
00:20:55,577 --> 00:20:56,955
Sofa wine?
498
00:20:56,980 --> 00:20:58,578
Sofa wine.
499
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,923
You're so cool, Bruce Chutback.
500
00:21:31,948 --> 00:21:33,791
What's your secret?
Y'know, just be cool.
501
00:21:33,816 --> 00:21:37,529
Wait, didn't you wear
those pants... yesterday?
502
00:21:37,554 --> 00:21:42,800
Hey, going home to not change
your pants, Bruce Chut-Pants?
503
00:21:42,825 --> 00:21:44,804
Chut-Pants!
504
00:21:44,827 --> 00:21:47,339
Damn.
That's gonna stick.
This place is a jungle.
505
00:21:47,364 --> 00:21:49,564
I hope he can find solace
in his own company.
506
00:22:04,980 --> 00:22:07,160
You like that? Shouldn't be
standing on the curb!
507
00:22:07,183 --> 00:22:08,884
Boom, bitch!
508
00:22:10,452 --> 00:22:11,987
Man: Did you get any of that?
37143
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