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1
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What's up, subscribers?
Welcome to "The Marlon Way."
2
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You know, my friends say
I have boundary issues.
3
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:08,040
I like to think that I'm
just very close to people.
4
00:00:08,041 --> 00:00:11,077
Let's ask my friend Stevie.
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Do I have boundary issues?
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00:00:12,312 --> 00:00:14,046
- Marlon! Get outta here!
- What?
7
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I need your take on this.
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00:00:15,782 --> 00:00:17,984
Yes, you have boundary issues!
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00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:20,018
Stevie thinks so.
10
00:00:20,019 --> 00:00:23,588
But you know, he didn't
tell me why he thinks that.
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00:00:23,589 --> 00:00:24,990
Could you elaborate?
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00:00:24,991 --> 00:00:26,725
Close the curtain!
13
00:00:26,726 --> 00:00:28,226
I'm just gonna do your back.
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00:00:28,227 --> 00:00:30,529
Come on, man. This is what friends do.
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[snickering]
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♪ Marlon, Marlon, Marlon,
Marlon, Marlon, Marlon ♪
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♪ Marlon, Marlon, Marlon,
Marlon, Marlon, Marlon ♪
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00:00:36,135 --> 00:00:37,903
♪ Marlon, Marlon, Marlon,
Marlon, Marlon, Marlon ♪
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00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:43,806
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
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00:00:43,838 --> 00:00:44,743
[upbeat music]
21
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Come on, guys.
22
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,915
We really gotta get going to the game.
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00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:50,350
Your father's running late.
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00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:52,085
Oh, uh, Mom, he's actu...
25
00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:54,153
He really should have
been here an hour ago.
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00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:55,989
- Mom, he's...
- I know he's gonna
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00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:59,259
walk in the door any minute
with some silly little excuse.
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00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,427
What the hell?
29
00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:03,730
When did y'all switch
to natural toothpaste?
30
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:07,033
This tastes like bad breath.
31
00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:09,068
Like, what's the flavor?
[exhales] Haaaah!
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Marlon, what are you doing here?
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I was getting ready to call your house.
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Dad slept over... That's what we were
35
00:01:14,177 --> 00:01:15,942
- trying to tell you.
- Oh, really?
36
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,977
You slept over?
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00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:20,947
Technically, no.
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00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:22,715
I mean, we barely slept at all.
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00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:24,818
[laughs] We had pillow fights.
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00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:27,020
We ate junk food
at 2:00 in the morning.
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00:01:27,021 --> 00:01:30,089
And then we recorded you snoring
and put that on YouTube.
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00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,691
[laughing]
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Look, Mom, you're trending. Look, Dad!
44
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Oh, wow, look at all those likes!
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00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:36,863
Uh, time out!
46
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,464
Can you excuse us, kids?
47
00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:40,733
Mommy's gotta talk to Daddy.
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00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:44,771
But Daddy don't like it when
Mommy has to talk to him.
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00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:47,407
Marlon, you can't just sleep over here.
50
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,742
What's the big deal?
Zack asked me to stay.
51
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,878
Zack also asked you to shave his head,
52
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:55,515
and now his fourth-grade picture
looks like a smiling Milk Dud.
53
00:01:57,251 --> 00:02:00,787
The point is, this divorce
is new for all of us.
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00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:03,456
And I don't wanna send
the kids the wrong message.
55
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,392
Ash, I slept in my clothes
on top of Batman sheets.
56
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:10,330
Now, if I slept in no clothes
on top of you...
57
00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:13,499
that may be sending the wrong message.
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00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,568
Dad, get dressed. You're
coming to the game, right?
59
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,604
Of course I'm coming
to the game. Come on.
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00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,873
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
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00:02:19,874 --> 00:02:21,474
Now, listen, win or lose,
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I'm still gonna be
the loudest, proudest daddy
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00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:25,211
up in there. I'ma be like,
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00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:26,446
"That's my son!
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00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,281
"In your face!
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00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:30,483
In your face's face!"
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00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,085
I love how loud you are, Dad.
68
00:02:32,086 --> 00:02:33,820
I just wish you could
cheer us to a win.
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00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:37,790
Son, ain't that much
cheering in the world.
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00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,193
Listen, Coach Doug is terrible.
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00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:42,896
He's so bad, I wrote a rap about it,
72
00:02:42,897 --> 00:02:44,931
and I'ma do it at halftime.
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00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:46,633
♪ Coach Doug, you suck ♪
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00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:49,068
- ♪ And I don't give a... ♪
- Or...
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00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:51,704
you could sit with the
adults in the bleachers
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00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:54,774
and try being a little
bit more subdued.
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[calmly] You want subdued?
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00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,144
I'll give you subdued.
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00:02:58,145 --> 00:02:59,879
Let's go! Let's go!
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00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,782
Let's get this one!
Are you ready to win?
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00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,684
Way to be subdued, Marlon.
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00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,053
Thanks. I been workin' on it.
83
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:09,789
Let's go, baby! Let's do this!
84
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:13,893
And that's why I quit track and field.
85
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:18,865
Oh! Well, look who
finally made it to a game.
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00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,566
Couldn't let another season go by
87
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:22,101
without supporting Zack.
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00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:24,470
I have a deep affection
for that little guy.
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00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:27,607
I told him there's pizza
after every game.
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00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:31,010
I also have a deep
affection for free pizza.
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00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:34,047
You have a deep affection for free.
92
00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,350
Yvette!
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00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,152
Are you here for free pizza too?
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00:03:39,153 --> 00:03:41,220
[laughs] Does this body
95
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,123
look like it eats pizza?
96
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,659
I came to see my baby boy ball!
97
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:52,432
I told her a lot of kids on
the team have divorced dads.
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00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,934
That is not why I'm here.
99
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:58,404
But where they at, though?
100
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:03,109
[sighs] Hey, Ashley.
101
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,777
- Hey, Vickie.
- You think the boys
102
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,279
might finally win one?
103
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,581
Well, I don't know,
but Marlon's over there
104
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,984
giving Coach Doug a pep talk right now.
105
00:04:10,985 --> 00:04:13,853
You 'bout to lose this game, Doug.
106
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:16,956
Now... did you get the
playbook I emailed you?
107
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,124
- No.
- No?
108
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,826
Well, bam!
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00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:22,562
Wow. Your ex-husband
has a lot of energy.
110
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,864
And that's why I quit violin.
111
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:29,535
Yeah, well, he can be
a little... unplugged.
112
00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:31,971
But he was up all night
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00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,873
eating sugar with my son and...
114
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,575
Whoa! Whoa, wait.
115
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:38,411
Your ex-husband sleeps at your house?
116
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:40,746
Mm... hmm!
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00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:42,215
No! Not...
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00:04:42,216 --> 00:04:43,449
really.
119
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,651
I mean, you know, he did last night,
120
00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:47,453
but it was more of like
a slumber party.
121
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,814
You know what, can you just
check my Facebook status?
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00:04:49,815 --> 00:04:51,657
It's complicated!
123
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:53,993
Girl, he's still got a key.
124
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,629
My ex was the same way,
and I set boundaries,
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00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,498
and now he respects my space
126
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,366
and we have no problems whatsoever.
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00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:02,335
I know! Like when Demetrius
128
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:04,570
got that restraining order against me,
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00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:08,107
I was like, all you got to do
is call the cops on me twice...
130
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:10,209
and I'm out!
131
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:13,146
Crowd: Three, two, one...
132
00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:14,414
[buzzer] [crowd whooping]
133
00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:17,316
Yay! Way to be nice!
134
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,456
Hey, Doug,
135
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,992
I got a defensive suggestion for you.
136
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,127
Yeah... play some.
137
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,063
Marlon, I have to be honest.
138
00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:31,764
You're beginning to frustrate me.
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00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:34,000
Oh, really? You have
a pretty high tolerance for me,
140
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:36,702
'cause I've been screaming
in your face for six weeks.
141
00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:38,671
You really think you can
do a better job than me?
142
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,807
Doug, you are 0 and 6.
143
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,642
I can't do no worse!
144
00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:44,744
You win, Marlon.
I can't take any more of this.
145
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,079
You're the coach now.
146
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,747
- Really?
- Yes.
147
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,449
Because if I don't
hand you this whistle,
148
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:50,883
I'm gonna lose my temper,
149
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,552
my eyes will roll back in my head,
150
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:55,822
and things will go black.
151
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:58,524
Oh, oh, calm down, Wreck-It Ralph.
152
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:03,196
All right, gather around, Camels.
153
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,664
I got some good news.
154
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:07,934
Coach Doug is out,
and Coach Marlon is in.
155
00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:09,635
Are you ready to win, Camels?
156
00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:10,803
Boys: Yeah!
157
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,271
Then let's go do this!
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00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:15,208
I will not lead you astray, Camels!
159
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,243
This will not end well.
160
00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:19,479
Eew. That's the ladies' room.
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00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,746
Oh.
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00:06:24,859 --> 00:06:26,005
Gentlemen...
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most teams win games
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00:06:27,761 --> 00:06:30,230
relying on their fundamentals.
165
00:06:30,231 --> 00:06:32,599
Now... I seen you all play.
166
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,434
We ain't got that luxury.
167
00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:38,671
Assistant Coach Stevie, the board.
168
00:06:38,672 --> 00:06:40,472
If ya wanna win games,
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00:06:40,473 --> 00:06:44,309
we can't rely on fundamentals.
170
00:06:44,310 --> 00:06:47,279
We gotta take the fun out
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00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:48,613
and focus on
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da... mentals!
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00:06:52,185 --> 00:06:54,086
The mentals!
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00:06:54,087 --> 00:06:55,754
What kinda basketball is that?
175
00:06:55,755 --> 00:06:57,556
Street ball, little homey!
176
00:07:04,297 --> 00:07:06,998
Now, first thing we have to do
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00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,067
is we have to up our fouls.
178
00:07:09,068 --> 00:07:10,402
But fouls are illegal.
179
00:07:10,403 --> 00:07:12,104
Only if you get caught.
180
00:07:12,105 --> 00:07:13,305
See,
181
00:07:13,306 --> 00:07:16,275
and the quintessential "sneaky" foul,
182
00:07:16,276 --> 00:07:17,909
is what I like to call
183
00:07:17,910 --> 00:07:19,511
the "Junk Thump."
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00:07:19,512 --> 00:07:21,146
- [whack]
- Oof!
185
00:07:23,082 --> 00:07:24,383
You see that?
186
00:07:24,384 --> 00:07:26,151
He's debilitated,
187
00:07:26,152 --> 00:07:29,121
and you didn't even see nothin', right?
188
00:07:29,122 --> 00:07:31,723
The Junk Thump.
It's a very simple move.
189
00:07:31,724 --> 00:07:33,421
These two knuckles.
You take 'em like this.
190
00:07:33,422 --> 00:07:34,726
Bow!
191
00:07:36,029 --> 00:07:37,262
[whistle sounds]
192
00:07:37,263 --> 00:07:39,264
Camels, on your feet.
193
00:07:40,867 --> 00:07:42,401
Our second lesson:
194
00:07:42,402 --> 00:07:45,070
Trash talkin'. Trash talkin'.
195
00:07:45,071 --> 00:07:47,739
You have to look your
opponent up and down
196
00:07:47,740 --> 00:07:49,574
and you gotta hit him where it hurts.
197
00:07:49,575 --> 00:07:52,644
You, come here.
198
00:07:52,645 --> 00:07:54,179
You be like, "Your daddy's so poor,
199
00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:57,516
he calls the food stuck
in his teeth leftovers."
200
00:07:57,517 --> 00:08:00,185
Oh! Ho!
201
00:08:00,186 --> 00:08:02,187
My dad manages a hedge fund.
202
00:08:02,188 --> 00:08:04,823
It don't have to be true.
It just gotta hurt.
203
00:08:04,824 --> 00:08:06,558
Now, go sit down, Drake.
204
00:08:07,827 --> 00:08:09,828
I don't know if I can say this stuff.
205
00:08:09,829 --> 00:08:11,997
I go to Temple with some of these guys.
206
00:08:11,998 --> 00:08:14,032
That's good! Let's go with that.
207
00:08:14,033 --> 00:08:16,701
Let's work on our Jewish material.
208
00:08:18,471 --> 00:08:20,939
[whistle blows] All right, next!
209
00:08:20,940 --> 00:08:23,442
Oh!
210
00:08:23,443 --> 00:08:24,676
More knuckle!
211
00:08:24,677 --> 00:08:26,478
What is going on in here?
212
00:08:26,479 --> 00:08:27,946
Oh!
213
00:08:27,947 --> 00:08:29,781
We're just having our first practice.
214
00:08:29,782 --> 00:08:32,851
We have a basketball
court in the driveway.
215
00:08:32,852 --> 00:08:35,387
You can't really get that
sneakers squeak on concrete.
216
00:08:35,388 --> 00:08:37,289
You know, that... [sneakers squeaking]
217
00:08:37,290 --> 00:08:38,324
Hey, stop!
218
00:08:38,325 --> 00:08:39,658
Stop!
219
00:08:41,627 --> 00:08:44,463
May I speak to you in the kitchen?
220
00:08:44,464 --> 00:08:46,298
Get him!
221
00:08:48,401 --> 00:08:50,335
Fill that cheap-ass
Michael Jackson jacket
222
00:08:50,336 --> 00:08:53,104
and beat it!
223
00:08:58,978 --> 00:09:01,012
What's up?
224
00:09:01,013 --> 00:09:04,216
Marlon, I've been thinking
a lot about our divorce lately,
225
00:09:04,217 --> 00:09:07,886
and I believe it's time to
establish some boundaries.
226
00:09:07,887 --> 00:09:10,255
'Bout time!
227
00:09:10,256 --> 00:09:12,924
Boundaries? Why?
We have a cool divorce.
228
00:09:12,925 --> 00:09:15,460
Well, it's about to get less cool!
229
00:09:15,461 --> 00:09:17,095
Uh, 'scuse me, that's enough
230
00:09:17,096 --> 00:09:19,898
from the whole Pinot gallery, okay?
231
00:09:19,899 --> 00:09:21,800
You talk mer-lot!
232
00:09:23,836 --> 00:09:26,938
So why don't you Cabernet
sauvig-the-hell on?
233
00:09:31,711 --> 00:09:33,812
- What's the problem?
- The problem
234
00:09:33,813 --> 00:09:35,947
is I come home from work
235
00:09:35,948 --> 00:09:39,017
and I find ten Camels in my living room
236
00:09:39,018 --> 00:09:41,720
smacking Stevie in the genitals.
237
00:09:43,823 --> 00:09:45,991
Marlon, I'd like my key back.
238
00:09:45,992 --> 00:09:48,426
Ashley, are you serious?
239
00:09:52,098 --> 00:09:54,599
Okay, fine.
240
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,468
It's cool.
241
00:09:56,469 --> 00:09:57,569
Take 'em.
242
00:09:57,570 --> 00:09:59,104
That's how you wanna play,
243
00:09:59,105 --> 00:10:00,805
I'm cool with that.
244
00:10:00,807 --> 00:10:01,940
Stevie!
245
00:10:02,909 --> 00:10:04,910
Let's get outta here.
246
00:10:04,911 --> 00:10:06,511
Hmph!
247
00:10:12,385 --> 00:10:14,386
Boom!
248
00:10:14,387 --> 00:10:15,587
Boundaries!
249
00:10:15,588 --> 00:10:16,721
[knocking]
250
00:10:25,231 --> 00:10:27,332
I forgot my...
251
00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:29,701
basketball team.
252
00:10:29,702 --> 00:10:31,570
Camels!
253
00:10:31,571 --> 00:10:32,804
We out!
254
00:10:39,011 --> 00:10:40,712
And just for the record,
255
00:10:40,713 --> 00:10:43,415
if you had junk,
I woulda made them thump it.
256
00:10:44,550 --> 00:10:48,186
[upbeat music]
257
00:10:48,187 --> 00:10:49,287
Boundaries!
258
00:10:49,288 --> 00:10:51,156
Talkin' boundaries!
259
00:10:51,157 --> 00:10:55,227
You know, I thought us not doing
it was boundaries enough.
260
00:10:55,228 --> 00:10:57,963
I don't get it. We had a cool divorce.
261
00:10:57,964 --> 00:11:00,232
And now she wants to mess things up.
262
00:11:00,233 --> 00:11:02,033
Can you believe this?
263
00:11:02,034 --> 00:11:04,302
Ashley has a valid point.
264
00:11:04,303 --> 00:11:07,506
Anytime somebody comes in and
they take advantage of you,
265
00:11:07,507 --> 00:11:08,874
violate your privacy,
266
00:11:08,875 --> 00:11:11,343
have no respect for
your personal space,
267
00:11:11,344 --> 00:11:13,745
it can be very frustrating.
268
00:11:13,746 --> 00:11:16,948
Says the Negro who sleeps on my couch.
269
00:11:16,949 --> 00:11:19,451
Let me rephrase that.
270
00:11:19,452 --> 00:11:21,086
She trippin'.
271
00:11:21,921 --> 00:11:23,722
All right, Camels!
272
00:11:23,723 --> 00:11:26,024
[blowing whistle]
273
00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:29,894
All right, Camels,
I know what you're thinking.
274
00:11:29,896 --> 00:11:31,663
Damn, Coach looks good in a suit.
275
00:11:31,664 --> 00:11:35,166
And I do.
276
00:11:35,167 --> 00:11:37,102
Do you know why I'm wearing this suit?
277
00:11:37,103 --> 00:11:38,937
Not just because I got a good discount,
278
00:11:38,938 --> 00:11:41,640
three for one over at the outlet.
279
00:11:41,641 --> 00:11:44,910
I'm wearing this suit because
if you dress like a winner,
280
00:11:44,911 --> 00:11:46,611
then you feel like a winner,
281
00:11:46,612 --> 00:11:47,946
and if you feel like a winner,
282
00:11:47,947 --> 00:11:49,814
then you are a winner!
283
00:11:49,815 --> 00:11:52,484
Now, are you ready, Camels?
284
00:11:52,485 --> 00:11:53,785
Boys: Yeah!
285
00:11:53,786 --> 00:11:55,687
On three! One, two, three!
286
00:11:55,688 --> 00:11:57,822
Boys: Yo' mama's ugly!
287
00:11:57,823 --> 00:11:59,691
Yes! Now let's go out there
288
00:11:59,692 --> 00:12:01,793
and show 'em that we're winners!
289
00:12:01,794 --> 00:12:03,628
Crowd: Two, one...
290
00:12:03,629 --> 00:12:05,964
[buzzer] [crowd cheering]
291
00:12:05,965 --> 00:12:08,600
I feel like such a loser.
292
00:12:08,601 --> 00:12:11,503
Loser? It's only halftime.
293
00:12:11,504 --> 00:12:14,573
And y'all didn't play hard
enough to break a sweat.
294
00:12:14,574 --> 00:12:17,242
Lookit, this boy is dry as hell.
295
00:12:17,243 --> 00:12:20,879
You could go to church after this.
296
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,113
Dad!
297
00:12:22,114 --> 00:12:24,115
We're down by 20 points!
298
00:12:24,116 --> 00:12:25,784
We can see where this is going.
299
00:12:27,486 --> 00:12:29,788
Coach, I don't think we're cut out
300
00:12:29,789 --> 00:12:31,590
for this type of basketball.
301
00:12:31,591 --> 00:12:34,359
And Gabe is really beating himself up
302
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:37,329
over some of the things
he's saying out there.
303
00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:40,665
I'm ashamed of myself!
304
00:12:40,666 --> 00:12:45,537
Gabe, you stop it with all
your little white guilt.
305
00:12:45,538 --> 00:12:46,938
We can win this.
306
00:12:46,939 --> 00:12:48,232
If you guys just go out there
307
00:12:48,233 --> 00:12:50,248
and you play the street ball
that I been teaching you,
308
00:12:50,249 --> 00:12:53,518
I guarantee you,
I will coach you to victory.
309
00:12:53,519 --> 00:12:57,121
You couldn't coach
a black man into a rib joint!
310
00:12:58,123 --> 00:13:01,926
Gabe, I am both very hurt...
311
00:13:01,927 --> 00:13:04,262
yet proud...
312
00:13:04,263 --> 00:13:05,430
of you for that.
313
00:13:05,431 --> 00:13:07,331
Like, I wanna punch you
314
00:13:07,332 --> 00:13:10,902
and hug you at the same time.
315
00:13:10,903 --> 00:13:13,044
You know, what I want you to do?
I want you to bottle that
316
00:13:13,045 --> 00:13:15,339
and save it for the court, okay?
317
00:13:15,340 --> 00:13:17,008
Sorry, Coach.
318
00:13:17,009 --> 00:13:20,244
I think you pushed us too far.
319
00:13:22,614 --> 00:13:24,282
Hey,
320
00:13:24,283 --> 00:13:26,217
Zack...
321
00:13:26,218 --> 00:13:27,819
you too?
322
00:13:27,820 --> 00:13:29,220
Sorry, Dad.
323
00:13:29,221 --> 00:13:31,689
It's just not us.
324
00:13:36,528 --> 00:13:38,896
[laughs] Black man at a rib joint.
325
00:13:43,836 --> 00:13:45,169
[hip-hop music]
326
00:13:47,909 --> 00:13:50,553
Girl, and when she got home,
327
00:13:50,554 --> 00:13:52,055
he had wrecked her floors.
328
00:13:52,056 --> 00:13:53,577
- [gasps]
- So you know what she did?
329
00:13:53,578 --> 00:13:55,058
She took away his key.
330
00:13:55,059 --> 00:13:56,426
Mm-hmm-hmm!
331
00:13:56,427 --> 00:13:58,228
That is such a great first step.
332
00:13:58,229 --> 00:14:01,398
You are on your way
to a perfect divorce.
333
00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:03,900
Ashley, are you listening to this?
334
00:14:03,901 --> 00:14:06,001
You know what, the team's
been gone a long time.
335
00:14:06,002 --> 00:14:08,637
Something's going on.
I'm gonna go talk to Marlon.
336
00:14:08,638 --> 00:14:10,472
You don't have to talk to him.
337
00:14:10,473 --> 00:14:14,009
I haven't spoken to my
ex-husband in three years,
338
00:14:14,010 --> 00:14:16,211
trust me.
339
00:14:18,281 --> 00:14:20,482
Why don't you talk to him?
340
00:14:20,483 --> 00:14:22,651
Why would I need to?
341
00:14:22,652 --> 00:14:25,154
When you drop off the kids?
342
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:27,656
I pull into a parking lot.
I flash my lights twice.
343
00:14:27,657 --> 00:14:30,192
They get out of my car, they
hop into his, and that's it.
344
00:14:30,193 --> 00:14:32,261
That is how you do divorce.
345
00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:35,631
That is also how you do a drug deal.
346
00:14:35,632 --> 00:14:37,333
What's wrong with you?
347
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:39,168
You know what, I've heard enough.
348
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:41,870
I'm gonna go and speak to Marlon.
349
00:14:41,871 --> 00:14:43,950
Yeah, you go do that,
and I'm gonna stay here
350
00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:46,075
and chop it up with "El Chapo."
351
00:14:52,849 --> 00:14:54,717
Everything okay, Coach?
352
00:14:54,718 --> 00:14:56,385
Hmm. I'd tell you,
353
00:14:56,386 --> 00:14:59,221
but I don't wanna violate
your boundaries.
354
00:14:59,222 --> 00:15:00,923
Where's the team, Marlon?
355
00:15:00,924 --> 00:15:02,524
- Them little bastards quit.
- What?
356
00:15:02,525 --> 00:15:04,326
Nobody's talking to me.
357
00:15:04,327 --> 00:15:06,929
Gabe done lost his mind.
358
00:15:06,930 --> 00:15:08,521
I got all these little white
kids running around here
359
00:15:08,522 --> 00:15:09,652
talking about people's mamas.
360
00:15:09,653 --> 00:15:11,066
And little black kids too.
361
00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:12,414
Zack's about to get popped.
362
00:15:12,415 --> 00:15:14,736
He said some outrageous
stuff out there.
363
00:15:16,806 --> 00:15:19,575
All right. I'll admit...
364
00:15:19,576 --> 00:15:20,776
I got boundary issues.
365
00:15:23,046 --> 00:15:25,747
I just push people until
they kick me to the curb.
366
00:15:29,586 --> 00:15:31,387
Okay.
367
00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:33,055
Yes, you're right.
368
00:15:33,056 --> 00:15:34,890
Your lack of boundaries
is one of the reasons
369
00:15:34,891 --> 00:15:36,458
our marriage didn't work.
370
00:15:36,459 --> 00:15:38,394
And I got scared it would be a reason
371
00:15:38,395 --> 00:15:40,262
that our divorce wouldn't work.
372
00:15:40,263 --> 00:15:43,399
But Marlon, your biggest weakness...
373
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,634
is also your strength.
374
00:15:45,635 --> 00:15:47,536
So you know what?
375
00:15:47,537 --> 00:15:50,072
Use that strength.
376
00:15:50,073 --> 00:15:51,707
Give Zack the win.
377
00:15:53,443 --> 00:15:55,444
You know...
378
00:15:55,445 --> 00:15:58,747
sometimes I wonder why
I ever divorced you.
379
00:15:59,649 --> 00:16:02,451
[laughing]
380
00:16:02,452 --> 00:16:04,553
Oh, don't get it twisted, Negro.
381
00:16:04,554 --> 00:16:06,422
I divorced you.
382
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:08,457
Okay, well, let's just
agree to disagree.
383
00:16:08,458 --> 00:16:10,192
- Okay.
- 'Cause them kids
384
00:16:10,193 --> 00:16:12,421
been missing for 20 minutes,
and I got a sneaking suspicion
385
00:16:12,422 --> 00:16:14,596
that lunatic Gabe is keying my car.
386
00:16:14,597 --> 00:16:16,398
Oh, God.
387
00:16:19,235 --> 00:16:22,438
All right, Camels, gather around.
388
00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:25,074
Tanner, you were right.
389
00:16:25,075 --> 00:16:26,575
I pushed you guys too far.
390
00:16:26,576 --> 00:16:29,111
I-I tend to go overboard.
391
00:16:29,112 --> 00:16:31,280
That's my weakness.
392
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:33,315
But, see, when I played basketball,
393
00:16:33,316 --> 00:16:35,651
I made that my strength.
394
00:16:35,652 --> 00:16:37,586
I'd take things too far.
395
00:16:37,587 --> 00:16:40,689
There's nothing I wouldn't do to win!
396
00:16:40,690 --> 00:16:43,092
And you guys have to
take your weaknesses
397
00:16:43,093 --> 00:16:44,793
and you have to turn
them into strengths.
398
00:16:44,794 --> 00:16:47,663
Come here, light skin.
399
00:16:47,664 --> 00:16:49,498
You... you're a three-point threat.
400
00:16:49,499 --> 00:16:51,300
I can't shoot three-pointers.
401
00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:53,469
You damn sure can't.
I didn't say you could.
402
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,637
I said you're a three-point
threat... you know why?
403
00:16:55,638 --> 00:16:57,539
'Cause those players,
they're gonna look at you
404
00:16:57,540 --> 00:17:00,976
and go, "Hey, look at little
Steph Curry baby.
405
00:17:00,977 --> 00:17:02,678
"I bet you that eggshell
colored brother
406
00:17:02,679 --> 00:17:05,114
can shoot three-pointers."
407
00:17:05,115 --> 00:17:07,649
And that's what you do,
you use that to your advantage.
408
00:17:07,650 --> 00:17:09,451
You fake the three-pointer,
you dribble in,
409
00:17:09,452 --> 00:17:10,786
you take a two-pointer.
410
00:17:10,787 --> 00:17:12,688
You gonna be hitting
those all day long,
411
00:17:12,689 --> 00:17:14,690
open shots. You got me?
412
00:17:14,691 --> 00:17:16,158
You. Come here, Gabe.
413
00:17:16,159 --> 00:17:17,826
What's your weakness?
414
00:17:17,827 --> 00:17:20,162
I'm just a nerd.
415
00:17:20,163 --> 00:17:22,164
Yes, you are.
416
00:17:22,165 --> 00:17:24,333
But you know what? So is Jeremy Lin.
417
00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:26,869
NBA ball player.
You know he graduated Harvard
418
00:17:26,870 --> 00:17:29,671
with a degree in math and science?
419
00:17:29,672 --> 00:17:31,507
So while all the brothers is playing
420
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:33,242
athletic basketball on him,
421
00:17:33,243 --> 00:17:35,344
oh, he's doing mathematic equations.
422
00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:37,679
He's like, "I cross over
using the Pythagorean theorem,
423
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,715
A square plus B square equals C square,
424
00:17:39,716 --> 00:17:41,383
and I spin around the defender
425
00:17:41,384 --> 00:17:43,285
with the circumference of radius of Pi.
426
00:17:43,286 --> 00:17:45,554
And I shoot a protracted
427
00:17:45,555 --> 00:17:48,524
45-degree angle shot at
52 rotations per second,
428
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:49,691
and swish!
429
00:17:49,692 --> 00:17:53,562
Two points in your mouth, bitch!
430
00:17:53,563 --> 00:17:54,696
What about me, Dad?
431
00:17:54,697 --> 00:17:57,566
Son, you got a big mouth like me!
432
00:17:57,567 --> 00:17:59,401
Hey, like father, like son.
433
00:17:59,402 --> 00:18:02,704
That's my boy! See, now
all of you guys have strengths,
434
00:18:02,705 --> 00:18:04,373
and if you use your strengths,
I guarantee you,
435
00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:05,641
you're gonna go out there
436
00:18:05,642 --> 00:18:07,276
and you're gonna win this game, okay?
437
00:18:07,277 --> 00:18:08,877
Now, Camels, come on,
let's bring it in.
438
00:18:08,878 --> 00:18:09,811
On three.
439
00:18:09,812 --> 00:18:11,413
One, two, three!
440
00:18:11,414 --> 00:18:12,915
All: Camels!
441
00:18:12,916 --> 00:18:15,284
Let's go, let's go!
442
00:18:17,353 --> 00:18:20,155
Pizza isn't contingent on a win, is it?
443
00:18:21,291 --> 00:18:24,259
[crowd cheering]
444
00:18:24,260 --> 00:18:25,794
[Marlon shouting indistinctly]
445
00:18:27,530 --> 00:18:29,731
[buzzer sounds]
446
00:18:29,732 --> 00:18:31,099
Come on!
447
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:33,202
We came back from 20 points down!
448
00:18:33,203 --> 00:18:35,370
We only lost by one point!
449
00:18:35,371 --> 00:18:36,572
We almost won!
450
00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:38,440
[boys chanting] We almost won!
451
00:18:38,441 --> 00:18:39,942
We almost won!
452
00:18:39,943 --> 00:18:41,777
All: We almost won!
453
00:18:41,778 --> 00:18:43,579
Hey, you know what? How 'bout we do
454
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:45,080
an almost victory dance?
455
00:18:45,081 --> 00:18:46,381
Hey! Ha ha!
456
00:18:46,382 --> 00:18:47,883
All right, stop.
457
00:18:47,884 --> 00:18:49,284
That's enough. 'Cause we didn't win.
458
00:18:49,285 --> 00:18:51,753
We shouldn't be that happy.
459
00:18:51,754 --> 00:18:53,455
I'm joking. Come on!
460
00:18:53,456 --> 00:18:54,456
Ah!
461
00:18:54,457 --> 00:18:57,459
Ohhh!
462
00:18:58,578 --> 00:19:02,580
[hip-hop music]
463
00:19:12,859 --> 00:19:15,862
Marlon, what you doing out here?
464
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:17,330
Well...
465
00:19:17,331 --> 00:19:19,145
I was gonna bust through
the kitchen door
466
00:19:19,146 --> 00:19:20,333
like I normally do,
467
00:19:20,334 --> 00:19:22,201
but then I realized I didn't have my...
468
00:19:24,738 --> 00:19:27,072
My key.
469
00:19:27,073 --> 00:19:30,042
Okay, so here's the deal.
470
00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:32,010
You got one shot.
471
00:19:32,011 --> 00:19:34,880
You make it, you get your key back.
472
00:19:36,116 --> 00:19:38,617
But I'ma get inside your head.
473
00:19:38,618 --> 00:19:41,653
So I hope that your ball game
474
00:19:41,654 --> 00:19:44,289
is better than your marriage game.
475
00:19:44,290 --> 00:19:48,193
- Oh...
- [laughing]
476
00:19:48,194 --> 00:19:50,028
That hurt! Oh, you goin' there!
477
00:19:50,029 --> 00:19:51,296
- Uh-huh!
- That hurt!
478
00:19:51,297 --> 00:19:52,865
You better not talk about my mama.
479
00:19:52,866 --> 00:19:54,233
- Oh, your mama?
- Yeah.
480
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:56,168
Yo' mama...
481
00:19:56,169 --> 00:19:57,936
never liked me.
482
00:20:00,540 --> 00:20:02,141
Come and get it.
483
00:20:02,142 --> 00:20:04,042
- [giggling]
- You ain't got that.
484
00:20:04,043 --> 00:20:05,611
You ain't got that. Watch out, shorty.
485
00:20:05,612 --> 00:20:09,014
- Look at that, look at that!
- Just stop poking...
486
00:20:09,015 --> 00:20:10,349
You know what?
487
00:20:10,350 --> 00:20:11,583
I don't want the key back
488
00:20:11,584 --> 00:20:14,052
because I made
a stupid basketball shot.
489
00:20:14,053 --> 00:20:16,421
I only want the key back
490
00:20:16,422 --> 00:20:19,024
if you want me to have it back.
491
00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:31,170
Thank God...
492
00:20:31,171 --> 00:20:34,173
'Cause I didn't think I
could make it from here.
493
00:20:34,174 --> 00:20:37,142
Oh, I know, Coach.
494
00:20:37,143 --> 00:20:39,344
So...
495
00:20:39,345 --> 00:20:42,414
we back to having a cool divorce?
496
00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:45,150
Let's try the...
497
00:20:45,151 --> 00:20:47,419
almost cool divorce.
498
00:20:48,488 --> 00:20:51,256
I'm almost cool with that.
499
00:20:57,997 --> 00:20:59,431
Hey, Zack,
500
00:20:59,432 --> 00:21:02,100
you can close your bedroom window.
501
00:21:02,101 --> 00:21:05,437
Mommy gave me the key back.
502
00:21:05,438 --> 00:21:09,458
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