Original subtitles

Hi.

Planning to poison your old man? I'm a widow.

1850 euros. You're kidding?

That's what the machine says.

It's 18 euros and 50 cents. Where'd they get this guy?

Who the hell are you, chirping over there?

Kinosto presents

THE STORAGE 2

Directed by Taru Mäkelä

Screenplay by VeliPekka Hänninen

Producer Markku Tuurna Exec. producers T. Mäkelä, j. Seppälä

We have it in Finnish, too. Even the Somalis can read Finnish.

If anyone complains, I'll lose my job, too.

You'd get as much on the dole.

Then off to the karaoke bar, right? Why not?

You'd know people there. Like your mom.

How can that girl keep texting at school all the time?

OK. But don't tell the iron lady.

The glue's dried. Your mom's...

Oh, that's a shame. Yes...

It is a bit dry. Masking tape isn't supposed to stick too hard.

We'll get you a new roll. I want compensation.

I've been here a hundred times.

What are you doing? You're here early.

I haven't had time to go to the bank. Will fifty do?

Give me a hundred. I'll pay it back.

What the hell are you doing? I'll put it back.

You better fucking believe you will. Why are you giving that girl money?

If you had drunks for parents, don't take it out on Jessica.

Will I get these as compensation? No.

Yes!

We're really sorry for the inconvenience.

Asshole

I hope the tape sticks now.

A carton of Marlboro red, please. Can I see some ID?

68 euros.

How do you feel you've fared in customer service? Quite well.

Now that you've spent two months on the job,

we've had six, seven...

21 complaints.

"Salesman told me to carry a heavy can of paint myself to my car,

even though I'm pregnant."

She wasn't sick or anything. I couldn't leave the register.

"Salesman told me to stick my hammer where the sun don't shine."

He was hammering nails into one of the shelves.

"...sharp end first."

This is so damn embarrassing. Then put me back in the storage.

You know how the business is at the moment.

If the current arrangement isn't OK with you, then do the math.

I've always liked your humour.

But next time, you're fired. Got it?

Hey, where'd this come from?

It was 80. A carton costs 68 euros.

12 euros for home delivery.

I'll deduct it from what you owe. I'll give you 40.

I don't owe you shit.

I've signed off on a lot of your absences.

Filthy bitch! I'm paying for your cigs.

You smoke a third of them. Anyway, where's that money from?

Rousku lent it to me.

The maintenance guy wanted to check the toilet because it's clogged.

So... now... the washing machine's working again.

Wasn't the toilet supposed to be clogged? Yes...

But I fixed the washing machine, too.

You should've stayed there. I've got to go. Salme is suspicious.

Go, go. See you tomorrow.

So, where were we? Rousku lent it to you.

I've looked after you all these years.

I think I've earned a few packs. OK, fine, granny.

Where are you going? To get drunk and be antisocial.

Remember to beat me up when you come home.

That was great, wasn't it? If you were trying to sing off key.

Piss off.

We've got a gig at the Kurkimäki retirees' Christmas party.

Really? You sure it isn't the Kurkimäki hardofhearing?

Where's Jessica? I'm not bringing her to the pub!

You two should buy her some new clothes.

They're really important for a young girl entering adulthood.

You're so right.

Everybody ready for this week's pub quiz?

Join our team. Way above my education level.

If we win a trip to Estonia, you can take Karita for a full treatment.

Stop it, Ritva. He's jailbait.

Shut up. He's my soninlaw. He's a researcher.

Who was Voltaire? One of those questions again.

Did he invent electricity? Volts and all. Ene, do you know?

I don't know. Fuck. It's the pain gel.

For fuck's sake. He was a French Enlightenment philosopher.

This one was difficult. Any of the tables have the right answer?

French entitlement philosopher. Enlightenment!

That was the correct answer. You have a chance for some extra points.

State one of his wellknown aphorisms.

The clap. An aphorism is a quote.

How the fuck is anyone supposed to know his aphorisms?

"All the passions are extinguished with old age; selflove never dies."

Correct!

Wow! How'd you get such a smart man in your family?

Rousku studied social sciences at university for three years.

Then he graduated as a storage worker.

Jessica!

What's this? An invoice.

A language course in Germany. Two grand?

Rousku said I could go. He hasn't said anything.

If your communication skills suck, don't take it out on me.

OK. Well, he can pay for it then. From his unemployment benefits.

What? He got himself fired.

Why does it smell like piss in here?

And the winner, by a wide margin, is Rousku's team.

Get your beer trolleys ready, and off to Estonia you go!

Three cases of gin long drinks. Three? OK.

A case of vodka for me. And two Marlboros.

I'd like three cases of beer. Go get them yourself.

Jessica!

I'd have bet your mom was here if I hadn’t just seen her at the pub.

This is all we can afford at the moment.

Pig's kidneys.

Piss filters! We're in piss up to our neck!

You'll pay this, since you promised without asking me.

Bitte schön .

Every idiot speaks English nowadays. No need to fight.

I'm not going.

Jessica. I promised you could go, so you should go.

You can go yourself since you don't have to go to work any more.

Did you have to snitch to her? Seriously, Antero.

You try to contemplate for your unfinished studies. Contemplate?

Yes, sending her off to a shitty country.

Would it hurt to actually know that the word is 'compensate'?

It's good that you know all the fancy words. You're doing so great.

1 can get another shh 'gob tomorrow.

But she doesn't have to spend her whole life in the piss smell.

Jessica, I'm getting us some pizzas.

You graduated from high school and studied some social sciences.

I was young and needed money.

We've had two people with an MBA and a doctor of theology today.

Well, no point in wasting our time then.

Hold on. You've worked for Kataja.

If you can tell thinner from turpentine, it'll go a long way here.

I'll do the others first. We can sign the contract after that.

Next!

Good bye.

Krohn.

Sorry, sir, but we've got tapeworms like you up every asshole.

Raninen, dammit! Every unemployed storage worker seems to be here.

Shit, Rousku! Nice to see you!

Look how low we've sunk. Check these people out.

They're all bloody hairdressers. Never seen a hardware store.

A Nazi for a clerk. Imagine that.

Raninen. Yes. Here.

I've got this here... No need. You can get the hell out.

This is political discrimination! I'll appeal for my human rights.

Please leave now before I call security.

She's a real Eva Braun, that one! Stop it.

Take your friend and get out. We have no work for either of you.

He's not my friend. Oh, nice one.

You said... Did I? I can't remember.

For God's sake, you can't treat people like this.

We're leaving before we get gassed. By the überführer. Security!

Fuck! I'm not even pissing in this place's direction. Crazy bitch!

Maybe our values and this company's aren't aligned.

Values? These Nazis are hiring foreigners...

...Who make our pizzas. Jylhäkorpi has a lot of jobs.

We haven't sunk that low yet.

Where the hell are we? Is there no way out of this concentration camp?

Heaven thundered, and glass shattered.

This is a change for us. Usually people break in, not out.

Serves them right for building traps like that.

And they talk about free movement of people and goods.

But the department store's willing to settle the case.

For 1,200 euros.

Those glass doors are expensive. Screw them.

I'll put it on the record.

You might get a fine and probation for vandalism, though.

Not the greatest thing to have when you're jobhunting.

Alright. Sign there.

Jylhäkorpi, where'd you steal all those pipes from?

Don't yell things like that out loud. Someone might take it seriously.

On your way to Sjöberg's porn store? Yup.

The only place in town with a peep show.

Porn. Reality TV. They're today's opium for the masses.

Bring back the good old Soviet Union.

Nothing but Russian cartoons on TV

and the Soviet digest on radio.

I'll have you know that Soviet cartoons are the best in the world.

Tm busy. What do you want'? A 'gob.

You've got some balls on you. You cost me thousands in damage,

you steal stuff and let your friend...

I told you this was a crap idea. Comrades. Halt!

Are you members of a union?

Does AA count? No.

Kadri.

Could you bring me the files on upcoming orders?

To see if I can find some work for these boys.

Sure.

She's Estonian?

Hiring lowcost labour? And based on looks alone.

In Estonia, unlike Finland,

women know how to dress.

And undress. Former stripper? Yeah.

She has a doctorate in economics.

There you go. Allow me to introduce you.

Kadri, my wife. Hi.

Rousku. Howdy.

You rascals are in luck.

I've placed several bids,

and I'm in the habit of winning them.

Usually I don't hire you Finns.

You complain and drink. And then you scurry away as soon as you get paid.

Sign there.

What kind of work is it? Odd jobs.

It's all you know. What's this "beauty salon"?

This company's registered in Estonia.

The hourly pay's below minimum wage.

That's...

That's the net amount. Not gross.

So we're moonlighting? Sensible tax planning.

Yeah, right. Let's go, Raninen.

We're not taking the job? The fuck we are!

Right.

Raninen! Yeah, yeah.

What's the holdup? You won't get a better job.

It's hard times. I forgot my phone.

Raninen doesn't seem to realise he was fired because of your stealing.

It's none of your business. just in case

you felt like tipping anyone off. Like the taxman.

I'm not interested in your dealings.

Alrighty then.

Got a cigarette? You don't smoke.

I just started. Don't feel like going home with nothing but bad news.

Give them good news. Like what?

We'll start our own business. Yeah, right.

A renovation outfit like Jylhäkorpi's.

A van and some supplies. He's got a fuckload of work.

It doesn't mean we will. Yes it does.

We'll steal his clients. How will we know his clients?

With this. Make Finland Great Again.

Raninen. You bloody thief.

So small...

He's got jobs worth three million. And once they're done?

Bankruptcy. Forget it then.

For morons like you to make a profit,

the goods have to be free. Kataja's stores

write off loads of damaged inventory.

They don't return them to the factory. They send them to the dump.

So we start combing through dumps? Honey.

I can tell Kataja I found a cheaper disposal service.

We can't accept jobs based on what's written off.

I can create damaged goods on the computer.

Oh, my goddaughter. How are things?

Totally fucked. I wish I were fucked.

You were in the middle of something?

Dinosaurs. Yeah, they're big.

Are we really doing this? If we steal, let's steal big.

Jylhäkorpi said that children are a good reason to steal.

Damn it!

Fuck. I lost a fingernail.

Put your headphones on or turn it down!

I'd love it if the managing director would screw me.

Kataja? Can you please keep your fantasies to yourself?

You can moan as much as you like.

Jessica, you've written down as your dream jobs

culture studies professor, genetics researcher and writer.

You know that this is a serious survey, right?

Your parents are...

...in the construction business.

What I meant to say is that all professions are valuable.

You shouldn't aim too high so you won't be disappointed too badly.

OK. I'll become a nurse then.

Or maybe I'll become a school counselor. Does it pay well?

Not everyone makes it into those jobs, either.

You have quite a lot of absences.

I also have quite a lot of excellent grades.

I'll talk about it with your mom and dad at the parentsteachers evening.

Don't forget to give them this.

I hereby pronounce the company's first meeting opened.

I had an agenda here somewhere...

Did I leave it in the toilet?

Oh, you've got it. Good.

Alright. "Election of the managing director and chairman of the board."

I nominate Rousku as managing director.

I second that. Seconded and elected.

How's that been decided? Here and now.

We're not voting on it? There weren't any other candidates.

I'm not fucking doing this. Your family's walking all over me.

It's like freakin' Game of Thrones. You'll become chairman.

I don't want to sit on any chairs.

But the chairman of the board is like the director's boss.

Really? Well, sort of.

You'll do as I say then.

Stop it. We still have to found the company.

Next item. An accountant. I nominate myself.

Seconded! Seconded and elected.

Wait a minute.

You? I'm the only one here with a business background.

Casimir Ehrnrooth showed me the ins and outs of the business world.

I'm sure there were lots of them.

Go fuck yourself, Antero.

I offered out of the kindness of my heart. Casimir Ehrnrooth...

Easy for her to pick a dead person. Did you have to upset her?

She's got no business background. You said she was a prostitute.

That requires business knowhow.

For your information, a blow job doesn't refer to glassmaking.

You know the joke about the exam for East European hookers?

You obviously have no idea what an accountant charges.

Besides, mom can remortgage her flat for 20 grand.

She'd give it to us as collateral. Collateral for what?

We need a loan for startup capital and buying the van and what not.

I think you owe her an apology, Antero.

But no, because he's such a knowitall.

I want a drink.

Stop at the bar and bring me one, too.

Haven't you heard the East European prostitute joke, Karita?

Fucking stop going on about East European prosti... types.

Why? They drive down prices.

Good one.

Hit me one more time, and I'll kill you...

I'll hit you...

Hit you with something

You beat me up with...

Stop it, dammit. The neighbours will think it's for real.

Watch out for these nails.

Hit me one more time, And I'll kill you...

Now shut the fuck up, or I'll really kill you.

You hear that? My husband's really going to kill me.

Hey, neighbours! Didn't I sing really well?

Yeah, really well. just like your mom. This was your night.

Isn't Jessica home? She's sleeping.

Jessica.

Now it's started.

Soon the cops will ring us to come pick her up.

Maybe she didn't get all your genes. Hey, it's...

It's totally "up yours" how you want to see it. Chief.

Somehow I just want to get the fuck out of here.

That's a good goal. You know what I realised today?

I'm stuck here. I'll get the money for the course.

We started a company. It's not about the course.

I was just born in the wrong place.

People over there are lazing on their fartsmelling Ikea sofas,

dreaming of winning the lottery.

In the morning, they go to the welfare office, then to the pub.

That shitass school counselor was right.

Secondary school and nursing is all I can hope for.

That counselor hack wouldn't recognise talent

even if she sat on it.

With her fatasapig's ass. She does have a really big ass.

Let's go home.

Do you know anything about running a company?

What if we end up in deeper shit? Don't lecture your father.

This was a clear breach of contract. The deal wasn't closed.

You'll hear from me! I'm sure we will.

You have to peel off the old wax completely.

Then apply the new wax immediately. People here are strict.

Will he be pounding that piano the whole time? Yes.

He's a retired composer and academic.

Preparing his final piece for Music Hall. It's going to be "the" event.

Raninen, have we got our earmuffs with us? No.

Now these frescoes...

They've been recently restored by the Board of Antiquities.

You can't splash anything on them.

What if I get turned on and there's a sprinkle?

Well, you'll have to answer to the Board of Antiquities for it.

"Spread the wax strip evenly,

making sure to apply it to all corners."

Fuck, this is a guide for idiots.

Now be careful. Seriously.

You bet.

Fuck me!

Imagine having to listen to a concert like that at the Music Hall.

These fumes will knock you out. Yeah.

"Use a heavyduty respirator mask"

designed for inorganic vapours."

Have we got one? Shit. I forgot to steal some.

Assigned protection factor: 10.

I've got some Nivea.

Coming up next, we have some manly bellowing in C major.

Zdravstvuite...

OK, let the stuff soak for a couple of hours. We can go to the next site.

I'm totally off my tits. My God, that stuff! We did well.

Didn't spill any.

Should we have put up a warning about the slippery staircase?

Anyone can see it is.

Can you drive?

Do you know how to tile? We'll learn by doing.

And Googling it.

Can you write off some parquet next week?

Tricky. Their quality's quite consistent.

We're running out of jobs stolen from Jylhäkorpi.

There was a shitload. But not realistic ones.

We can't do earthworks or concrete casting jobs.

Then we need a mole in Jylhäkorpi's office.

I don't intend to go to jail. Find someone else.

The social security office is paying half your salary.

So you could start right away?

Yeah.

But...

Is it OK for me to go to music therapy at three?

I'm at an intensive stage at the moment.

Every day at three o'clock? Yeah.

I'd actually have to leave after two

because of the commute.

So you'd be working from eight to two?

Yeah. Or I'd prefer from nine.

Mornings are a bit tough for me.

I get all these memories in therapy

and my dreams are so wild I'm a bit spaced out in the morning.

Right.

Well... I have to go and negotiate

the return of unnecessary goods.

Answer the phone here. Tell them I'll be back in a couple of hours.

And tidy up the office while you're at it.

Oh, you showed up!

We said one o'clock. It's five past.

Our humble apologies.

The child of a colleague was run over by a car, hence a slight delay.

Please do not bring your personal issues to the work site.

Fifth floor.

There are tiling instructions on Builder.com.

We could just put the new tiles over the old ones.

We'd have to build new structures.

Good thing she's a woman who knows even less about tiling than us.

Let it rip.

What in the name of God are you doing?

We're not tiling over the old ones.

These are Villeroy & Boch tiles. I have a buyer for them.

You can't remove them whole. Yes you can.

Ma'am, we're professionals.

Before you dig yourself in any deeper... I'm an interior architect.

I've drawn these plans myself.

I'm sure she's got a Master's too.

What the hell?

My condolences. Thank you. Bye. Thank you.

Is now a good time to continue waxing if someone's passed away?

Have a look inside. Draw your own conclusions.

Are we getting paid for that job?

Isn't that Kataja's lazyasatoad subsidised worker?

Shut up.

Parentsteachers evening 6.00 p.m.

Hi! We would appreciate it if you could attend. Jessica's teacher.

Can we invoice the staircase waxing job?

We have to finish a couple of things first.

What things? We need to give it another polish.

Let the wax absorb for a few days.

In a stone staircase? Let us professionals worry about it.

What's your professional opinion on this email?

It's from a lawyer who lives in that building.

"The housing association presents the following claims:

for cleaning and restoration work and breach of contract,

financial compensation of 10,000 euros."

"We are also informing you that the family of the deceased

will ask for a police investigation and file a separate claim."

They can claim all they want!

That fucking piano tinkler spilled the can!

Is this America? Does every package have to have the warning:

Please avoid sticking this product up your ass!

What is it?

Is the parentsteachers thing today? Not to my knowledge.

Jessica!

Jessica!

Jessica! What now?

Is the parentsteachers evening today?

I don't have schoolage children, so I don't know.

Did they give you an invite for us? Oh, that. I forgot.

But I don't think there's anything important.

We have to go, Antero.

Whatever.

A parentsteachers evening is for people whose talentless kids

are talentless flunkies who sell drugs and drink booze.

You have a romanticised image of your daughter.

I'd know if she did anything like that.

You'd take her side even if she robbed a bank.

She "forgot" to give us the invite on purpose. Why?

They better have a good reason for interrupting a nice evening.

We skipped all the class fundraising events,

so I would drop the cocky attitude.

In closing, I'd like to a say a few words about my Petja.

He's really sensitive

and distressed by the fact that there isn't a focused atmosphere in class.

When I was in school, I couldn't imagine

disobeying my teacher.

Let's keep the subject on the class trip and the fundraising.

Great. I fully agree. I start work at eight in the morning,

so I hope we're done by then.

I would like to introduce you to our new school counselor.

Anneli Laatu. Hi.

I'm Anneli Laatu. We heard it.

Should we give Little Rousku some detention

for disrupting class?

I will be in charge of student welfare services.

My leading idea is that collaboration between the home and the school

is crucial for providing a disruptionfree classroom.

That's why it's important that we really commit

to what we agree on here, like fundraising events.

Time flies. How about we divide the shifts for running the lobby cafe?

It's brought in a nice amount of cash from the adult education students.

I propose that Jessica's parents take the next three shifts.

Good idea. You were busy elsewhere last semester.

Would this be OK with you? Sure.

But can I just ask one thing? Yes.

Could Petja's parents... or did your husband leave you?

I mean, could Petja's mom make sure

her little darling stops sending photos of his penis

to our Jessica at night?

That's outrageous.

It's not nice for a teenage girl to be asked

whether she likes to suck "lollipops".

We can take care of the cafe. Right, Antero?

Hey, wait.

We went a bit too far. Sorry. Nothing against you.

Jessica likes you.

Is it true? The photos and the messages?

The little twerp sent a few texts...

They weren't even his own balls. Probably taken from a porn site.

Quite a set for someone his age.

Could these disturbing texts

be the reason for Jessica's absences?

You are aware of them, right? You signed off on them in our system.

Yeah. Of course we are. We signed, yes.

Our school counselor is worried and wants to arrange a meeting.

When you looked at me, I forgot everything.

When you looked at me, all I wanted was to be yours.

When you looked at me, I burned with fire in your arms.

I fell in love with you when you looked at me.

For a moment...

Dear audience, we'll hear the rest of "When You Looked at My Balls" later.

You left the girl in my care, so you can only blame yourselves.

You're ruining her education and future.

Since when have you been interested in the future?

You only care about yourself, thinking you're better than the rest.

It's pretty easy to think that. Listen, boy.

Jessica's a good girl.

She took my dog out to pee. She cleaned my flat

in return for my son fixing her bike.

What bike? You didn't know it was broken?

She's a good girl.

My daughter's life is none of your business. I don't even know you.

People here know more about what your daughter's doing than you.

This seems to be where all the Masters of Education convene.

I know, but it's OK. I just found out last year

Karita was in the pudding club in high school.

Yeah, her cooking skills could definitely use some brushing up.

She got pregnant, you jerk.

What happened then? She had an abortion, luckily.

Imagine me becoming a grandma at 35.

Jessica's different from Karita.

I'm just gently trying to tell you

that parents never know what their children are up to.

You can't decide her future, even if it's important for you to show

you've got better genes than us. So deal with it.

But I have a say in one thing:

don't ever sign for my daughter's absences.

What are you skulking here for? The men's room is free. Go bang in there.

Come on, Jessica.

What is it? Baked macaroni and pork.

It's still good. The expiry date's today.

I'm a vegetarian. A what?

Since when? Since now. Do you know the conditions in which pigs live?

And how they're treated when they're slaughtered?

Eat some salad then. You'll get some vitamins.

How are school meals nowadays? Shit. People buy pizza and fries.

How do you know? I know, obviously.

Really? I was under the impression you hardly go there.

Suit yourself. Stop it.

You stop it. You're blowing off school, your grandma vouches for you.

What are you bribing her with? I've been to school, honest.

A lie has no legs.

School sucks,

but without it you'll end up working in a hardware store, like your mom.

Fuck off, what about you? I run a business.

You're no longer going to your grandma's. I'll sign your absences.

Curfew is now at nine o'clock. You're a fucking jerk!

Damn it!

You've found the disciplinarian in you.

Rousku.

Karita!

What company is this R&R Productions?

It's a new company that became our customer recently.

Have we given them credit?

We've invoiced some small things. Right.

Did you check their credit score? Of course.

It's fine. That's good.

There are all kinds of swindlers and conmen out there.

You're right. It's a real shame.

How in the hell did we just lose another three contracts?

Maybe our offer was too heigh. No, it wasn't too "heigh".

I know precisely what our competitors are bidding. How?

Don't you worry your head with that.

That new guy is quite strange. How come?

He hasn't complained about his pay. Nobody else is complaining either.

They're Estonian.

What if he's getting paid by someone else?

This is a horror show. Luckily that whore is abroad.

Lunch break. Shall we go to Weeruska?

We'll lose too much time. And money.

These will go bad in no time. It's better if we eat them.

Jylhäkorpi knows. How come?

He gave me some strange looks. Hi.

So did his wife.

Obviously, with you sneaking around like Stig Bergling.

Who's he?

He's the goalie who got busted for ephedrine.

That was Stig Wetzell.

OK, let's take it easy. We don't need any more work for a while.

He'll stop watching you when he finds nothing.

Well, what do you think?

Yeah. I know a guy.

He's Estonian. A tiler.

This is a huge site. Plumbing renovation.

Can we do that? It's part of our core competence.

Hi, I'm Uutela. Hello.

You're Bblock guys? I'm happy with the Ahole.

I'm happy with either.

You got security passes? What?

You need them in case the tax auditor drops by.

Raivo Kaas and Arvo Öhty.

Use these until you get real ones.

"First place the hemp sealant into the twin pipe nipple."

Did you put the seal on? Place it at the end of the valve and tighten it.

That's what it says. There. This should hold.

Shouldn't we head home? Everyone else is gone.

Better that way. We can practice by ourselves.

We won't know whether it holds water before we connect it to the mains.

What if it leaks?

It'll look like the Fontana di Trevi. The what?

The fountain in Rome where Anita Ekberg messed around.

Who?

Was she Swedish? Yes.

Was it somehow different? What?

You know... I mean, I can't say. I've never screwed a foreigner.

Is she in any way related to the Ekberg Café in Tampere?

If it gets smutty, use more putty. Right?

Do you consider this good?

Well, a couple of blemishes here and there, but otherwise it's OK.

This is no joke. We have to take it down and redo it.

But the owner's coming back in three days.

If you're in a rush, it'll cost you more.

How much? I mean...

Taxfree. Poor chaps. The euros will go through the taxman,

or I'll go giggling that way.

Where the hell have you been?

The test rinse is about to start. Chop chop!

Now it's connected to the mains.

Well...

It seems to be holding up well.

Alright, the water's flowing in the pipes.

We're turning up the pressure. Got 'n.

Was it the Fontana di Trevi?

Now we're up to 1,000 kilopascals. One more minute.

Do you see any leaks?

Do you see any leaks?

Everything's fine here. Roger.

I can't believe it. It's a miracle.

The master said there's always work available for guys like us. Goddamn!

Raninen and I connected the pipes and there wasn't a single drop.

You know how you connect water pipes?

Start brushing up on your German. We've got the money for your course.

Can I sleep over at Ritva's? What did we agree about that?

Your grandma's a really shit example for you.

Can I go to my own doghouse then, mein Fiührer?

Nothing's good enough for her. Were you denied a language course?

This has nothing to do with me. Your Germanness is surprising.

You're setting your own rules about who she can see and when.

Your mom's a raging alcoholic.

You haven't turned down her help.

She wants receipts. What receipts?

Well...

Are they eating them?

Here's her text.

"Tell that prick to send me his company's receipts if he wants to..."

Fucking disgusting. It looks like a rock.

Give it here.

"...if he wants his tax reports to be on time. Today."

Fuck". Look!

Go screw yourselves! Isn't my own work enough?

I have to work extra to support bureaucrats.

Honey, careful. Now I lost a... Rousku, seriously.

Do you have to smoke inside?

This one won't do. Definitely not.

Booze... Straight to the bin.

Look. Sweets, sweets, sweets. Grown men sucking on lollipops.

Is this going to fly? No.

Look at this one. It says 'sex'. A sex store maybe?

Bin it. A lottery ticket. No way.

You've assembled a whole crew. Old chief!

What are you doing here? I've been singing.

In my retirement days. I'm a tenor, you see.

Bring the stuff on time next time. Sorry, it's been quite hectic.

I appreciate you handling this. Business has made you a slimeball.

No need to pretend.

Fine with me.

Next up are our two lovebirds Seppo and Ritva,

singing "Sometimes When We Touch".

Take the mike, OK? Sure.

You ask me if I love you,

and I choke on my reply.

I'd rather hurt you honestly

than mislead you with a lie...

I don't really give a damn if you're howling ballads here with my old man.

But can you please stop giving him Viagra.

He's got a weak heart. His grandkids mustn't lose their granddad, okay?

Thanks! Continue.

Salme! Don't leave me.

I have to be perfectly honest. I would have never guessed it.

I was quite worried about what was waiting for me.

But this is exquisite. Thank you. We've done this before.

Do you have your invoice? I'll pay it immediately.

This is what we agreed. I was suspicious about your price.

It's way below the standard rate. Will you make any profit?

Is it alright if I pay you a thousand extra?

Yeah... Can I also recommend you to my colleagues?

Now we're talking. We'll have more bathroom jobs than we can handle.

Except the Estonian guy did this one.

We'll ask him again and take our cut.

You haven't complained about

our government's Trumpian economic policy for a while, honey.

What's up, colleagues? Come stealing for a change?

I think I'm late.

I sometimes feel sorry for Kataja.

Driving that expensive Porsche, when he's got a leak in his store.

How can I help you?

Let's cut the bullshit. I know what you're doing.

And that friend of yours.

Industrial espionage. Price dumping.

You're going to be in trouble. I'm sure you'll sue us.

The court would love to review your business activities.

Exactly. With your background, I wouldn't be running to the police.

I'm not going to the cops. All I need to do is tell Kataja.

Unless you fall in line

and give me the contracts you've signed.

We didn't steal them all from you.

In this case, I'm not going to nitpick.

Let's consider it compensation.

Do we have a deal?

What if we don't? Then you're screwed.

Karita will be fired. And she'll have a criminal record.

And I'll go to the tax authority.

Here I would urge you to remember your good friend Comrade Raninen.

What about me?

You fucking pig! Yes.

What if we try to get our own jobs? We can pay for the materials.

We've got no chance of competing against others.

The law and taxes

make crime the only work that pays.

And now, dear friends, it's time for our pub quiz.

The main prize is you guessed it a cruise to Tallinn in Estonia.

Back in business. Six orders. And this is just one pub.

Even we wouldn't stoop that low.

No! Seriously?

You. On the floor. Now.

Me? Come, boy.

Dear passengers, we will soon arrive in Helsinki.

Our taxfree shops will close in five minutes.

Thanks. Thank you.

If you ever come to Tallinn again, call me.

Liina...

This is for your personal use? Yes. Been drinking a lot lately.

Same here. These will see us through another week.

Your explanation's not acceptable. You have to have some kind of party.

A big birthday or a wedding.

Well, Rousku's about to get married. You are getting married, right?

Yes, with my livein partner. We've just decided to tie the knot.

I'm the best man.

That settles it then.

I wish you a pleasant journey and good luck.

Thank you. Thank you.

We could have a baptism, too.

Let's get out fast.

Send us the marriage certificate to get your receipt.

Within a month. Otherwise you'll pay the alcohol import duty.

Fuck.

Congratulations. Thanks.

I'll gift you a juice maker. Fuck you.

Vergi Vodka. "Always on course."

Oh, spin her, make her fly, that flaxenhaired girl

from whose eyes sparks so elvishly fly.

Nowhere in the world can you find a hayfield like the ones of Saaremaa...

Did you get it? Yes. We got the booze.

Raninen almost got laid, too. No way. Tell me.

Some whore was just messing with him.

And I guess we need to get married. Are you proposing?

No, but the customs guy did.

He said we need to send a marriage certificate or we'll pay a big fine.

Are we having a church wedding? Absolutely not. A civil one.

Won't do.

You've been wanting to get married. It's a church wedding or nothing.

Damn blackmailer. Damn thief.

Thank you.

That's your cut.

We can't put this on the company's account.

We have to think of a place to hide it.

And what do we say to customs next time?

You can't have a wedding every week. Or a birthday.

A birthday's only once a year.

One, two...

Is anyone celebrating a big birthday anytime soon?

My uncle will be turning 90 on Tuesday.

Your uncle's in for an invigorating birthday surprise.

Truly, Jesus is the Lord.

If I could just repay my debts.

These nice lads take you to Tallinn. Is Martta there?

Martta's dead. Good.

Does he even know his age?

What if customs asks? He's living in the '70s.

Is there a law against the demented getting wasted?

If I could just repay my debts. Truly, Jesus is the Lord.

Yeah. Scoot over a bit.

Oh fucking hell!

My trousers are wet. Shit!

He's wet himself. Put a piece of cardboard under your ass.

My ass is already wet. From someone else's piss. Stop screaming.

You'll scare him. He doesn't understand anything.

He can read your mental state. Never mind, it could happen to anyone.

Look at Raninen. He's wet himself, too.

I need new trousers. And he needs a dry diaper.

Where can we get one? I'll call Liina.

This is no time to go whoring. Hi.

You really know how to impress women.

You think?

Just take a dump in your denims, and she's yours forever.

Come up with a better idea then. Calm down.

You can always say: "Yes, I've wet myself, but it's not my piss."

We seem to have had a little accident here. Honeybunny.

Here you go. Thank you.

Come back soon. I'll have the diapers ready! As soon as I can!

What the hell? She's quite cute, isn't she?

Next time, she might play with the baton.

There won't be a next time. Of course there will.

This isn't the time to start dating a cop.

You're messing with our business. What if I do?

Then you're no longer my partner.

More booze than at the Wedding at Cana. Is it for your own use?

Granddad's got a birthday coming up.

90 years. Well, congratulations.

His hearing's weak. Congratulations!

If I could just repay my debts.

Truly, Jesus is the Lord. Amen.

Did you have a nice trip, Ernesti?

He peed himself once, but we changed his diapers and all was well.

Great. You don't often meet such caring people.

We have to do our share. We'll all be old some day.

Totally. I wish more people would recognise that.

We thought maybe we could take one senior citizen to Tallinn every week.

Really?

You're real angels. Well...

We could take people with a big birthday coming up.

What a sweet idea, don't you think, Ernesti?

If I could just repay my debts.

Vodka. Right.

Next. Careful with this.

Next. You OK with that? Your friends will help.

6,300 euros. Expenses, including travel: 1,200.

This is way more profitable than renovating.

And no taxes. I wonder if Jessica wants to go on that course.

Hi, I'm Tomi. I heard you guys are doing business.

Don't believe everything you hear. No need to worry. I'm not a cop.

I'm arranging a big party at my workplace,

but alcohol prices in Finland, man...

What do you need? I've got a list.

This is a whole vanload. Yeah.

We're a legitimate business. That's fine.

Can you do Thursday at the Koirasaari docks? Sure.

What if he's a cop?

He's not.

How do you know? He said so.

It's already really late. Is he showing up?

The sirens will go off any minute.

What's up with the creeping act? I left the car a bit further away.

Bring it over. We're not carrying it all.

Unload the stuff here. It's fine.

You don't want us to see your licence plates?

Another vodka. That's fifteen.

It's only eleven at the store. Go buy it there then.

Have you got any breezers? Alcopops? Unfortunately, no.

You're selling old people's booze. I'm looking after your health.

The sugary stuff will ruin your teeth.

Who's next? You got some weed or ecstasy?

Don't you know they're illegal?

I'll take three vodkas. You're not emptying the store.

Exactly. No more than two per customer.

I've paid for your language course.

Can we make up now? Whatever.

Maybe we could all travel there?

Karita and I could use a getaway. Honeymoon in Germany.

Every woman's dream.

It's the school.

Karita.

OK.

Yes.

We'll be there tomorrow.

Your daughter will be taken into custody if a team of professionals

decides that home isn't the ideal environment for her growth.

If there's alcohol abuse, violence, criminal activity...

What the hell are you saying? Jessica.

Since you sold alcohol near the school,

you have to tell us where you got it from. I found it.

Found it? Where? Our building's basement.

How did you just happen to find it there?

There's this weirdo in our building who leaves stuff lying around.

Shouldn't you return it to him?

He's a smalltime crook. I'm sure he didn't get it honestly.

This will all be investigated at the hearing.

Let's just hope we don't have to start the custody process.

Can I stay here?

Why? Don't want to live with bootleggers.

You're one yourself.

I sold a few bottles. You were still dealing.

You deal cigarettes to me. F off...

You can tell your parents to F off, but not me.

If you stay, you'll have to clean and run errands.

God doesn't feed the lazy. Look at you.

Smoking your pension.

At my age, it doesn't make a fucking difference what I do.

But you're young, and I'm not going to stand by

while you flush your life down the toilet.

I forced Jessica to sell booze.

What are talking about? She stole it.

No, the thing is that I forced her.

If she's expelled from secondary school

her next address is a community home and hell, forever.

Is this the lie we're going to tell the school?

I'll take the blame and she won't be expelled.

Think it through. This gives them a reason to take her into custody.

It's still better. Maybe actually better than living with bootleggers.

Bootlegger. I work, after all.

Oh my God... It's so adorable. Would it make my ass look too big?

Then I'll move out. That's fine too.

You're always walking away at the first sign of trouble.

Goddammit! What?

The tax authority wants some clarifications.

Are you crying?

Jessica, remember to be quiet and don't contradict anything I say.

What are you on about? He's been watching "Law & Order".

Listen! The principal's going to be there to decide if she's expelled.

So believe me for once!

Shut up!

Or you'll see all kinds of domestic violence.

Lose the cigarette.

The meeting room was booked, but I hope this will do.

My gosh, is this a wolverine?

It is. It's a pine marten.

Are we supposed to name all the animals, or what?

The principal's a bit late. But we can certainly start.

I've briefed the principal, so he's aware of Jessica's case.

You probably briefed him to expel Jessica.

I think you did.

Can we all calm down? The case is difficult enough as it is.

We would like a strong contribution

from our social services reps.

Selling alcohol on school premises is a serious offence. Sorry.

It's great you've started. I'm busy

so let's get this cleared up quickly. This case is quite clearcut.

The principal is so right.

You see, I briefed him a bit before this meeting.

And we came to the conclusion

that this was a plot by two lying students. Yes.

New information has come to light, which changes things.

Apparently the whistleblower was the same person

who sent penis photos to Jessica. Yes, that's right.

Therefore there's no further need to discuss expulsion from school

or the need for her to be taken into custody.

Absolutely true. No need at all.

Please tell me where this information is from. I've spoken to the students.

Isn't this a case

of the school counselor hearing only the bullies' side?

Yes. This is clearly the case here.

Did you drag us here for this petty matter?

We have real problems to solve.

Like we said, the school counselor deserves to be fired for this.

I think I mentioned a serious warning.

Didn't I? Alright, so be it.

How did you arrange that? Did you let him screw you in the ass?

You would have, too. Yuck! You're disgusting.

Where are you going? You're coming home, aren't you?

Bootlegging, tax evasion, blackmail. What next?

What a wonderful home. You can do it even without our help.

I'll get my stuff from grandma's. But...

I want to eat spring rolls today. Homemade.

We've received a request for investigating R&R Productions.

Jylhäkorpi, right? I can't reveal that.

Can you say if it wasn't him?

I've looked into this case.

There are very strange circumstances here.

Our accountant is an old hag, she messes everything up.

Yeah, she's completely... We fired her.

Jylhäkorpi's a crook. He's getting back at us for taking his gigs.

What gigs? What's strange about all this

is that the company doesn't exist. What?

It's not in the tax register, the corporate register, or any register.

From a tax point of view, this company doesn't exist,

so the complaint is unfounded.

What gigs were you talking about? Nothing.

No, we just planned... we had no intention of stealing gigs.

Gigs? We meant giggles. Giggles and laughs.

We went to an Estonian circus.

Hi.

The company's not even registered.

I didn't send the paperwork

because you didn't invest the startup capital.

So the company never existed? Exactly.

What good would it have been? Things turned out fine anyway.

For once I agree. Get some champagne. We're celebrating.

Not having a company or a job? Things could be worse.

Look. Liina sent me a photo.

It's for the police department's Miss Wet Tshirt calendar.

Show me. She's ugly.

She's pregnant? Yeah.

Sixth month. I'm going to be a dad. You met two months ago.

So what?

Congrats to the new dad. Do you want a cigar?

Sure. He'll be a boy if he takes after his dad.

I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as he's not gay.

Congratulations. Rousku slept his way to high society.

Don't throw your bouquet at me.

For morons like you to make a profit... Stop it!

If it gets smutty, use more putty. Right?

Sorry. Continue.

Sorry, Taru.

The atmosphere here is so light, it's almost blinding.

Subtitles: Said Dakash