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1
00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:06,666
Hey.
2
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:12,381
(exclaims)
3
00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:19,354
(school bell ringing)
4
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:22,552
(burps)
5
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:23,916
(tires screech)
6
00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:26,693
D'oh!
7
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:27,794
(tires screech)
8
00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,555
(grunts)
9
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,033
(clacking)
10
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,200
Aw.
11
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,971
(choking)
12
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,710
♪ ♪
13
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:50,546
(sniffing)
14
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:02,356
(Homer doing Tarzan yell)
15
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,703
And that's amore.
16
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:05,758
(confused bark)
17
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,204
(head knocks)
18
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,673
(head knocks)
19
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:11,671
(head knocks)
20
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,772
(Homer chuckles)
21
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,779
(gong clangs)
22
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,777
Let the word go forth.
23
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:20,279
With the kids
gone for the summer,
24
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:23,381
we have snuggled
in every room in the house.
25
00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:26,854
Thank you, Kamp Krusty.
26
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,494
(footsteps rumbling)
27
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,418
WIGGUM: Um, excuse me.
(yelps)
28
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,386
(footsteps rumbling)
29
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:37,195
Um, putting on a little
weight there, huh, Chief?
30
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:39,698
Our freezer broke, Lou.
Any bacon we buy
31
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,700
we have to eat it all
and right away.
32
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:45,672
Uh, now, Simpson, we received
an anonymous call about a gong.
33
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:48,744
Chief Wiggum, can't a man enjoy
34
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:51,742
the company of his wife
in his own son's tree house?
35
00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:53,405
What, you didn't
see the sign?
36
00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:54,584
Hmm?
37
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:56,722
That's just some nonsense
a kid wrote, Chief.
38
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,247
That is what they said
39
00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:00,422
about the Declaration
of Independence, Lou.
40
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:01,921
Uh, who said that?
41
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:03,392
King Shut The Hell Up.
42
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:04,620
Look, we're married.
43
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,425
This is our home,
and our kids are fine.
44
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,628
♪ Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty. ♪
45
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,360
(kids clamoring)
46
00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:16,141
Death to tennis camp!
47
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:18,644
(kids screaming)
48
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,639
I can't believe
it's been six weeks
49
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,071
since we've seen the kids.
50
00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:25,276
Ooh, I wonder
if Bart has a mustache.
51
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:26,609
(tires screech)
52
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:28,284
Your kids are back.
53
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:31,582
Except for the Johnsons', who
I need to speak to privately.
54
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:33,645
(chuckles nervously)
55
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,494
(kids clamoring)
56
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:36,919
(shuddering)
57
00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,924
I have
lemon-lime disease!
58
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:42,756
The basketball teams
were skin versus bones.
59
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:45,833
I'm tellin' ya,
it was a real rough camp.
60
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:49,133
I see you're sucking
your thumb again.
61
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:51,266
Kirk, you said
he'd stopped.
62
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,672
Uh...
63
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,643
Kirk, we discussed this.
64
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,842
It's the only vice
I can afford!
65
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:01,606
Oh, my poor, poor babies.
66
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:05,045
Do you know what kids get
after a scary experience?
67
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:06,722
LISA/HOMER/BART:
Ice cream!
68
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,650
No. Counseling.
69
00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:09,816
Aw.
70
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:12,193
Kids, you've been through
a horrible experience,
71
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:15,663
but there is good news at
the end of that pain-bow.
72
00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:18,503
A pot of goals. All right.
73
00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:20,699
How long you gonna
talk this way?
74
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:24,201
Well, let's just say
I wish eyes were smiling.
75
00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:26,135
(chuckles)
Now, kids,
76
00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:28,570
how bad could it have
really been?
77
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:31,206
Hey, Doc, I'm fine.
But other kids in my generation,
78
00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:33,152
I love 'em,
but they're total wusses.
79
00:03:33,147 --> 00:03:36,347
Well, every night, they
showed us The Parent Trap.
80
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,820
I mean, what kind of
parents break up twins
81
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:41,689
and never tell them
the other exists?!
82
00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:44,019
Oh, that's Disney magic.
(shudders)
83
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:46,534
Now, you all need
to decompress,
84
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:50,557
so it is essential you do not
go right back to school.
85
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,334
No school?
No school?
86
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:53,603
On second thought, I'm fine.
87
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:55,731
Look, I can sit
with my chair turned around,
88
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:56,936
just like you.
89
00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:59,067
I knew one day
there'd be another.
90
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:00,943
Go. Go with God.
91
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:03,441
Bart, are you coming?
92
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,444
(blubbering)
93
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,346
Ooh, definitely
no school for you.
94
00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:08,448
Or church.
95
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:09,779
(blubbering)
96
00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:14,215
Mrs. Simpson,
I would watch him very closely
97
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,921
for the next couple
of days.
98
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,423
Geez, I was thinking
about taking him shopping
99
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,225
for school clothes.
100
00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:23,057
(high-pitched blubbering)
101
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:25,563
Why not just buy a suit
for his coffin.
102
00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:28,226
Oh. Oh, okay. Sorry.
103
00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:30,435
Uh, somebody
parked me in.
104
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:31,767
Toyota Corolla.
105
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,772
Well, it's got to be
one of you.
106
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,444
Try the karate studio.
107
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,412
I tried the damn
karate studio.
108
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,481
(groans) All right, it's me.
I blocked you in.
109
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:40,780
Okay? Sorry.
110
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:43,482
BART:
Okay,
111
00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:45,584
time to fake me some PTSD.
112
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:46,846
(sniffs)
113
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,821
And maybe bloodshot eyes.
114
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,785
Eh, too far.
115
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:03,100
(yawning loudly)
116
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:05,243
Oh, I don't
know, Homie.
117
00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:06,909
The kids seem upset.
118
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,307
Oh, they'll be fine.
119
00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:10,979
Marge, children and summer
are natural enemies.
120
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,608
Now, why don't we
mix things up?
121
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:17,124
Tonight I'll be Penn
and you be Teller.
122
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,777
Oh, okay!
123
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,616
Uh! Teller doesn't talk.
124
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,351
(both moaning)
125
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:26,659
(laughs)
126
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:27,760
Ooh.
127
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,661
BART:
Mom! Dad!
128
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,663
I'm scared.
I can't sleep.
129
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,465
(whimpering)
130
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:35,767
I'm sorry, Homie.
Bart's ten.
131
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,669
That could be the last tear
that ever comes out of him.
132
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,112
He's sleeping here.
133
00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:41,307
(whimpers)
134
00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:43,108
Take a hike, homeboy.
135
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:45,180
(Homer grumbling)
136
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,351
What the hey?
137
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,550
Just giving him
his allowance.
138
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:57,023
This pamphlet on trauma
they gave Bart is very alarming.
139
00:05:57,024 --> 00:06:00,164
Loss of appetite?
Thousand-yard stare.
140
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,360
I'm not hungry.
Where are you looking?
141
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:03,903
A thousand yards away.
142
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,957
(gasps)
No school for you, young man.
143
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,866
I'll set up the couch
as a bed.
144
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,968
Can I put Homer's pillows
under my butt?
145
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,070
Of course.
146
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:12,741
You don't need pillows
under your butt.
147
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:15,810
Your butt is pillows, genius.
148
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,809
♪ The Itchy & Scratchy Show. ♪
149
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:22,154
And now, Itchy
and Scratchy
150
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:24,019
perform their
cutting-edge version
151
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,647
of the "Sabre Dance."
152
00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:27,722
("Sabre Dance" playing)
153
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,055
(screams)
154
00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:40,399
(laughs)
(TV clicks off)
155
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:42,901
Mom, can I have
a jelly bean sandwich for lunch?
156
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,703
Mm, how about
a fruit salad?
157
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,066
Fruit? (sighs)
158
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,514
What's the matter?
159
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,379
That's what they
served at camp.
160
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:52,777
Fine. Fine, jelly beans.
161
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,910
(groans)
162
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,845
(disco music playing)
163
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,347
(quietly):
Marge, voulez vous rendezvous
164
00:07:02,356 --> 00:07:04,086
at the dog's bed?
165
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:06,431
I can't move.
His head's on my arm.
166
00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:08,687
(normal voice):
Can you give me a foot rub?
167
00:07:08,695 --> 00:07:10,925
Also, we both have
to sign this permission slip.
168
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,431
Uh, maybe we should
just go to sleep.
169
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:16,274
Oof! Can't sleep, can't snuggle.
170
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:18,270
Gonna do the unthinkable.
171
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:19,742
Homie, what do you mean?
172
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,210
Gonna go to work early.
173
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:23,608
(loud screeching gasp)
174
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,640
(rooster crowing)
175
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:28,576
Geez, there's a lot of spaces
when you get in early.
176
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:31,652
Geez, there's a lot of
donuts when you get in early.
177
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:34,289
Hot coffee?
178
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:36,418
Whoever heard of such a thing?
179
00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:38,493
(grunting)
180
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:45,227
Hmm.
181
00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:47,772
I was supposed to read this
when I started the job,
182
00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:49,098
but I didn't want
the other workers
183
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:51,002
to think of me as a nerd.
184
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,514
(alarm blaring,
confused grunting)
185
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,840
(alarm stops)
186
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,779
What's he doing?
187
00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:05,954
He's reading.
Nerd.
188
00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:07,793
Hey, Homer,
settle a bet.
189
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:10,418
Red beans and rice
or red beans on rice?
190
00:08:10,424 --> 00:08:12,464
Winner gets 3,000 bucks.
191
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:14,759
Sorry, guys,
maybe another time.
192
00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:16,931
Homer Simpson don't
want to screw around.
193
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:19,160
That's like Aquaman
moving to Phoenix.
194
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,426
You know, Lenny, seeing
Homer acting responsible--
195
00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:23,495
oh, Aquaman to Phoenix,
I just got that--
196
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:26,344
uh, makes me want
to buckle down and do my job.
197
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,510
You know, vice president
of marketing.
198
00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:30,939
Hey, if you need me,
I'll be cold-calling people
199
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:33,984
to see what they think
of electricity.
200
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:36,051
(Homers chattering excitedly)
201
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:45,790
Uh, Mr. Smithers,
I, uh, I noticed
202
00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:47,992
the plant's free subscription
to Nuclear Safety magazine
203
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:49,995
was hitting the
six-month mark.
204
00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:52,627
They're gonna start charging
us the full newsstand price.
205
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,503
And no one pays
those prices.
206
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:56,071
(chuckles):
Nice catch, Simpson.
207
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,699
(cheering)
208
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,674
So I had the idea
to cancel it
209
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:02,413
and sign up for another free
trial under a new e-mail.
210
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:03,639
Wow. Wow!
211
00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,714
Simpson, something is
very different about you.
212
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,182
(hushed voice): I am
sexually frustrated.
213
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,781
Tell me about it.
214
00:09:17,491 --> 00:09:19,221
Kamp Krusty! Kamp Krusty!
215
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,826
Homie, listen.
216
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,587
No ketchup!
No ketchup!
217
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:25,826
Oh, no, not the
hamburger dream.
218
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,832
♪ ♪
219
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:29,434
(thunder rumbles)
220
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,140
(Bart and Lisa
gasping, screaming)
221
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:37,743
(screams)
222
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,254
Oh, my God,
I really am traumatized.
223
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,047
I need help.
224
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:43,109
(gulps)
225
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,416
Lis! Lis!
226
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:49,591
(yawns)
Can it wait till morning?
227
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:51,420
Sure.
228
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:52,585
(birds chirping)
229
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:53,593
Lis! Lis!
230
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,234
Thanks for waiting
till morning.
231
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,428
No problemo.
232
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:59,100
I had an actual nightmare
about Kamp Krusty.
233
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,699
There was a body
in a red life vest!
234
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,402
(gasps) What else
do you remember?
235
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,603
We were canoeing.
We were in a storm.
236
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,436
(thunder rumbling)
237
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:08,441
(gasps)
238
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:10,612
(metal rumbling)
239
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:12,611
It's coming back
to me, too!
240
00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:15,583
Whatever happened
must have been so horrible
241
00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:17,152
we repressed the memory.
242
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,750
But don't tell, because
they'll make me miss school.
243
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,593
Maybe you should
miss school.
244
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,458
I have perfect attendance.
245
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,387
You can't get that back!
246
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:28,132
Okay, I'll bring your
carriage around.
247
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,628
(imitates hoofbeats)
248
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:33,130
Uh-oh, looks like snow.
249
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,673
Very funny, Bart.
250
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,966
(imitating farting)
251
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,272
Stop it!
252
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:41,573
(imitates farting)
253
00:10:41,575 --> 00:10:43,775
(yawns)
254
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,607
(sighs)
255
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:46,952
Made you breakfast.
256
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,947
I also made reservations
for Mother's Day.
257
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:51,979
I know it's three months away,
but you can't book too early.
258
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,485
Wow!
259
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:54,817
(kisses loudly)
260
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:55,951
Who's that guy?
261
00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:57,786
I don't know.
262
00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,861
♪ ♪
263
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:05,558
Hmm.
264
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:07,903
D'oh!
265
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:15,435
Mr. Burns, I noticed no one ever
puts suggestions in the box.
266
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,682
So I took the liberty
of making my own.
267
00:11:18,612 --> 00:11:20,512
Hmm.
268
00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:22,114
Yeah.
269
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,275
(chuckles)
270
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:26,453
Excellent. Simpson,
I'm giving you a raise.
271
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:27,793
More money?
272
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:29,648
But that's more
than I make now!
273
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:31,456
You've done
so well, Simpson.
274
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:33,658
I'm giving you
your own trap door button.
275
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,730
Oh, thank you!
276
00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:39,634
(kids chattering excitedly)
277
00:11:39,633 --> 00:11:41,473
(excited screaming)
278
00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:44,739
Excuse me. Coming through.
Working out issues.
279
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:45,868
Boom-shakalaka.
280
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,642
I was at Kamp Krusty, too.
281
00:11:47,641 --> 00:11:50,211
You don't see me freaking out
every time I see--
282
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,910
(hoarsely):
Red vest! Red vest!
283
00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:54,012
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
284
00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,684
It means, young lady,
285
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:58,852
that you're about to go
to the head of the line.
286
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:01,392
Whoa, whoa, whoa. If everyone
has a cut-the-line pass,
287
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,758
no one has a cut-the-line pass.
288
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:06,517
LISA: Quit your whining!
I'm riding the ride!
289
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:08,886
While you were pouting,
I did it again!
290
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:11,395
(humming)
291
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,728
(gasps)
292
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:15,433
Oh. Maggie's asleep,
293
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:18,695
and the kids are still having
fun at the park with Grampa.
294
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:20,735
We're alone.
295
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:23,071
(moaning)
296
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:25,578
Marge, no!
297
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:27,509
I've pledged my abstinence,
298
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,514
like all the most successful
rock stars.
299
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:30,746
Come on, mister.
300
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:33,081
I'm too tired to
get my groove back.
301
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,586
It's all on you!
302
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:37,218
No means no. I looked it up
in the dictionary.
303
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:39,394
No?! No?!
304
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,692
You've never said "no."
305
00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:43,425
Hmm? Hmm.
306
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:45,697
Hmm.
307
00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:47,229
Oh!
308
00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:50,604
Honey, I'm really sorry,
but I'm here for you every way.
309
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,204
Except physically.
310
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,235
Also, spiritually
and emotionally.
311
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,741
And I've never been good
at zipping up dresses.
312
00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:57,943
What are you saying?
313
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,754
Men have accomplished
unbelievable things
314
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:02,947
when they've denied
themselves whoopee.
315
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,979
The pointy pyramids of Egypt,
316
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:07,745
the Duomo, which I now know
is a thing.
317
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:09,724
You don't name
a company "Microsoft"
318
00:13:09,723 --> 00:13:11,093
when you're getting some.
319
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,561
Oh, boy.
320
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:15,589
First the kids are screwed up,
and now our marriage is?
321
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,095
We need therapy.
322
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,797
(eerie theremin music plays)
323
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,630
I said "therapy,"
not "theremin."
324
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:23,936
Honest mistake.
325
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,637
Or was it?
326
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:28,639
(eerie music plays)
327
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:30,812
MASTERS:
Welcome, Marge.
328
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:33,111
Homer, no need
to take your pants off.
329
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:35,413
It's not what you think.
I just had a big lunch.
330
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,475
Just a series of questions
for now.
331
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:38,654
Then the pants
come off.
332
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:40,122
Now, let me be blunt.
333
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,690
Are you happy with
your romantic life?
334
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:45,689
My problem used to be
too much satisfaction.
335
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:46,792
We hear that a lot.
336
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:48,633
But I'm afraid
not so much lately.
337
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:50,958
Do you self-gratify?
338
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:53,934
Yes. I do everything
but masturbate.
339
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:56,944
You know, this all started
with our poor kids traumatized
340
00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,967
by a budget
summer camp.
341
00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:01,672
So many perfect marriages
ruined by kids.
342
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,775
We tell them it's
not their fault,
343
00:14:03,777 --> 00:14:06,337
when, of course, it's
always their fault.
344
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:09,106
What you must do is return
your children to this camp
345
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:10,815
and face down their demons.
346
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,477
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
347
00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:15,315
There's so much more you can do
when you don't think about sex.
348
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:17,392
That's why nuns
are so successful.
349
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,520
You have to take the kids
back to that camp.
350
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,056
Well, it beats
hanging out with them.
351
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:24,531
Now, if you'll excuse us,
we have some deviants coming in.
352
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:25,861
MOE:
Hello? Anybody here?
353
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:27,326
Yeah, I brought my lady.
354
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:29,134
She used to be
the helicopter ride
355
00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:30,565
in front of the supermarket.
356
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,170
(rhythmic creaking)
357
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:35,242
(mechanical clattering,
bell dinging)
358
00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:41,583
(bell dings)
359
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,151
Oh, uh, just finished.
360
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:45,779
All right, deviant out.
361
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,720
MARGE:
My kids are a mess.
362
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:51,492
Homer's turned into the manI've always wanted,
363
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,261
which I don't really want.
364
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:55,790
And for some reason, we'regoing back to Kamp Krusty.
365
00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:58,601
ALL:
Aw!
366
00:14:58,598 --> 00:14:59,758
(hisses)
367
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:00,666
(all gasp)
368
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,581
What happened
to this place?
369
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,410
People are wearing
terrycloth bathrobes
370
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,705
like they're ancient Romans.
371
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,046
Actually, more
like Macedonians.
372
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,721
All right, come on,
deer and pig.
373
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:22,089
It's time for you to mate
and then fight to the death.
374
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,764
What happened
to this place?
375
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,603
Oh, uh, Krusty
cut his losses
376
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:34,928
by partnering with Caligula's
World Family Entertainment.
377
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:38,195
They redid the whole place
as an adult spa.
378
00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:41,114
Uh-oh. Did I leave
my sash on?
379
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,607
Why don't you kids go in here,
and we'll find someone
380
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,740
who can prove to you
that what you think happened
381
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,205
didn't happen.
382
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:49,213
So, what do we do now,
get naked?
383
00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:51,775
Ha-ha! I'm joking.
Unless you want to.
384
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:55,215
In which case,
I've never been more serious.
385
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:57,591
So, um, uh,
which is it?
386
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:59,220
Don't want to.
387
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:01,055
Ah, good thing I was joking.
388
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,391
(chuckles nervously)
389
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:06,596
♪ Who stole the cookie
from the cookie jar? ♪
390
00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:09,269
♪ Tyler stole the cookie from
the cookie jar ♪
391
00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:10,599
♪ What, me? ♪
392
00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:12,103
♪ Yeah, you ♪
393
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,565
♪ Couldn't be ♪
394
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:14,773
♪ Then who? ♪
395
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:18,284
♪ Courtney stole the cookie
from the cookie jar... ♪
396
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:20,448
I've heard enough.
Let's go, Courtney.
397
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,077
You, too, Tyler.
398
00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:25,452
Hey, Bart, Bart, now's our
chance to break out of here.
399
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:28,622
But I'm four loops away
from finishing my potholder.
400
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:29,621
Now!
401
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:31,092
Ugh!
402
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,656
Marge, you know, it used
to be I'd be tempted
403
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,632
by every one
of these places.
404
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:39,800
Now I just want to know
where the business center is.
405
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,299
It's over there.
406
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:43,431
You can print up all the free
boarding passes you want.
407
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,296
(moans):
Oh!
408
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:48,105
We didn't even fly here.
(groans)
409
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:49,768
(grumbling)
410
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:52,006
Oh. Oh.
(printer whirring)
411
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:53,852
(playful growl)
412
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,677
Bart, I've seen
that shed before!
413
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,646
Hey, I know your
life is boring,
414
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:03,894
but you don't have
to advertise it.
415
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,620
(door creaks)
416
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,185
(wind whistles)
417
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,693
(both scream)
418
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:10,862
(both scream)
419
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:12,828
I'm remembering now.
420
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,702
We were trying
to escape by canoe.
421
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:18,471
Come back! Everyone needs
to watch the musical!
422
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:21,871
We've rehearsed
for three hours!
423
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:26,044
But there was
another kid with us.
424
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,576
LISA:
(gasps) You're right!
425
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:28,850
BART:
His name was Charlie.
426
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,078
LISA:
(gasps) I forgot
427
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:32,683
because I was highon poster paint fumes.
428
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:35,215
BART: Quiet!We tipped over in the rapids.
429
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,721
(gasping)
430
00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:44,658
Oh, my God!
Charlie didn't come back up!
431
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,864
Hey, hey!
Look who's back!
432
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,596
Kamp Krusty alumni!
433
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:52,071
We have reason to believe that
someone was killed in this camp!
434
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:54,612
Whoa! What happened to hello?
435
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,167
(humming)
436
00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:59,236
Hard to concentrate with waves
gently lapping on the shore.
437
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,405
(kissing grunts)
438
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:05,723
Ooh! Marge, are you sure
you want to do this?
439
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:09,448
Mm, I think I still
want the old you.
440
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,764
Everyone, down below the belt!
Move, move, move!
441
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,760
Don't leave anything up here!
We will not be back!
442
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,833
(violin playing
"Adagio for Strings")
443
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:35,409
Play something to
put him in the mood!
444
00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:37,475
(playing "Boléro")
445
00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:42,754
Faster!
446
00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:44,815
(playing "Call to the Post")
447
00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:49,491
(grunting, kissing)
448
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,600
These children
would like to report
449
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:55,599
a traumatic incident
on the property.
450
00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:56,772
(grunting)
451
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,439
Poor Charlie.
452
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:00,438
Charlie?
Did he have a red vest?
453
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:01,640
Yes!
Yes!
454
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,311
Can you kids
keep a secret?
455
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,609
I can, but Lisa can't.
456
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:06,711
I told you that
in confidence!
457
00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:13,618
Charlie! You're alive!
458
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:15,990
And a man, I might add--
a very short man.
459
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,689
They like to be called
"little people."
460
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,720
Eh, not that much.
461
00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:24,658
I was working undercover as
a spy for Departures magazine.
462
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,434
They are everywhere.
463
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,772
Anyway, when the canoe flipped,I made my getaway.
464
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,598
LISA: But you didn't haveyour life vest.
465
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:32,603
CHARLIE:
I'm a grown-up! I can swim!
466
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,335
And vote!
467
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,136
(whimpers quietly)
468
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:39,684
Oh, my God!
469
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,279
It's a miracle.
470
00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:43,611
Whoa, I guess I really
was traumatized.
471
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,676
And now I'm glad
everything's all right.
472
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,363
So many stars.
473
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:58,301
Ever wonder how many worlds
are out there, Homie?
474
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:00,828
Pizza. Want pizza.
475
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,203
And you.
476
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,372
That's my man.
477
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,070
♪ ♪
478
00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:12,241
For the fifth time today,
I am not a diving platform!
479
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,906
(snoring)
480
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,445
TV ANNOUNCER:
Next on Fox...
481
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:24,755
♪ ♪
482
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:29,659
MALE SOUL SINGER:
Oh, baby, baby.
483
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:34,672
Tonight's the nightwe're not gonna get it on.
484
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:38,667
And when I say never,I mean forever.
485
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:42,671
At my insistence,I will keep you at a distance.
486
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,605
Because...
487
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:48,611
♪ My darling, you ♪
488
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:52,715
♪ Have had enough
of my love, babe ♪
489
00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:57,559
♪ Mm, baby, don't get upset ♪
490
00:20:57,557 --> 00:21:01,587
♪ But your needs
will not be met ♪
491
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:06,734
♪ Mm, it's like the more
you want, the less I give ♪
492
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:08,703
♪ Baby, that's no lie. ♪
493
00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:10,371
Oh, yeah.
31902
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