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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,258 --> 00:00:04,224 So I was playing Monopoly with Vince and Leslie, right? 2 00:00:04,226 --> 00:00:05,259 I was the thimble. 3 00:00:05,261 --> 00:00:07,027 Anyway, they started calling me names like 4 00:00:07,029 --> 00:00:10,197 "Jack Be Thimble" and "Justin Thimble-lake" 5 00:00:10,668 --> 00:00:12,011 and "Thim Belushi." 6 00:00:12,735 --> 00:00:15,530 - Chip. Fast-forward, buddy. - Okay. 7 00:00:16,005 --> 00:00:19,462 They just made me so mad that I needed to beat them, 8 00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,400 so... I cheated. 9 00:00:22,228 --> 00:00:24,708 Say a Hail Mary and do not pass "Go" 10 00:00:26,357 --> 00:00:27,388 You okay? 11 00:00:27,816 --> 00:00:29,013 You seem upset. 12 00:00:30,386 --> 00:00:31,726 Is this 'cause I just tooted? 13 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:33,897 It's not. 14 00:00:34,223 --> 00:00:36,157 Though I'm sure it will be once it hits my side. 15 00:00:38,368 --> 00:00:39,626 And there it is. 16 00:00:42,197 --> 00:00:44,164 You know what? Say two Hail Marys. 17 00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:48,769 It's just that I've been guiding you pretty much full-time 18 00:00:48,771 --> 00:00:52,047 on your living-by-the-Bible journey and, frankly, I'm not getting 19 00:00:52,072 --> 00:00:53,914 - a lot of respect in return. - What? 20 00:00:54,423 --> 00:00:56,469 You were asleep during my sermon on Sunday. 21 00:00:56,612 --> 00:00:57,878 You noticed that, huh? 22 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:00,414 Yeah. You came for the 9:30 Mass 23 00:01:00,416 --> 00:01:02,875 and were passed out through the 10:45 and the noon. 24 00:01:03,942 --> 00:01:06,141 So, I was at three Masses and I'm still in trouble? 25 00:01:07,523 --> 00:01:10,560 Sorry, Gene. It's just that it's the same every week, you know? 26 00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:12,668 Stand, sit, kneel. Stand, sit, kneel. 27 00:01:12,693 --> 00:01:14,271 "Peace be with you." "Father, Son, Holy Spirit." 28 00:01:14,295 --> 00:01:15,295 Cracker, wine, out. 29 00:01:16,381 --> 00:01:18,615 I-I hope you're not taking it personally. 30 00:01:19,150 --> 00:01:20,153 Gene? 31 00:01:21,585 --> 00:01:22,600 Gene? 32 00:01:24,462 --> 00:01:25,876 Doesn't feel great, does it? 33 00:01:27,242 --> 00:01:29,509 ♪ ♪ 34 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:37,158 VINCE: Chip. 35 00:01:37,826 --> 00:01:38,877 Leslie. 36 00:01:40,764 --> 00:01:42,231 LESLIE: Love the hat, Vince. 37 00:01:42,358 --> 00:01:44,360 Guess we can call off that search for Carmen Sandiego. 38 00:01:44,384 --> 00:01:46,283 (LAUGHS) 39 00:01:46,528 --> 00:01:48,773 CHIP: What are you wearing that for? 40 00:01:48,798 --> 00:01:51,758 Did Bruno Mars have a garage sale? (LAUGHS) 41 00:01:52,167 --> 00:01:54,067 No, my Aunt Estelle has been begging me 42 00:01:54,069 --> 00:01:55,962 to get my ass to church, so I'm going Sunday. 43 00:01:56,205 --> 00:01:57,853 I got this hat 'cause I got to look fly. 44 00:01:59,141 --> 00:02:01,261 I'm trying to walk in there looking like Steve Harvey. 45 00:02:01,976 --> 00:02:03,815 Survey says: sexy. 46 00:02:04,380 --> 00:02:05,946 (LAUGHS, SIGHS) 47 00:02:05,948 --> 00:02:08,848 Wh-What's with all the frills? Is it so God notices you? 48 00:02:09,386 --> 00:02:10,718 God? (CHUCKLES) 49 00:02:10,986 --> 00:02:13,246 No, I'm trying to get noticed by the church cuties. 50 00:02:14,790 --> 00:02:15,950 Those are the best kind, man. 51 00:02:16,058 --> 00:02:17,853 You got to put in some time, a lot of time. 52 00:02:18,228 --> 00:02:19,274 But they're worth it. 53 00:02:19,299 --> 00:02:20,965 They're not so churchy when you get them home. 54 00:02:20,989 --> 00:02:24,591 (LAUGHS): Oh. I got you. I got you. 55 00:02:24,867 --> 00:02:26,206 "Babe in the streets", 56 00:02:26,358 --> 00:02:29,169 Babe 2: Pig in the City in the sheets, huh? (LAUGHS) 57 00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:32,067 What about me made you think I would get that reference? 58 00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:34,864 Hey, you know what? 59 00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:37,976 My Bible journey's been pretty one-note Catholic thus far. 60 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,813 You think it'd be cool if I came to check out your aunt's church? 61 00:02:39,815 --> 00:02:41,058 - Sure, love to have you. - All right. 62 00:02:41,082 --> 00:02:43,082 Ooh. Does your church have a gospel choir? 63 00:02:43,294 --> 00:02:45,017 Does this hat make me look super cool? 64 00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:49,234 The answer's yes. 65 00:02:50,492 --> 00:02:51,591 Then I am in. 66 00:02:51,593 --> 00:02:54,134 What? You never come with me to Gene's church. 67 00:02:54,244 --> 00:02:55,986 Gene's church doesn't have a gospel choir. 68 00:02:56,108 --> 00:02:57,941 It's all organ, all the time. 69 00:02:58,233 --> 00:02:59,847 It's, like, who does the music there? 70 00:03:00,035 --> 00:03:01,074 The Phantom of the Opera? 71 00:03:01,099 --> 00:03:04,748 Okay, hey, hey, hey, look, Mrs. Hooper's face-lift 72 00:03:04,773 --> 00:03:08,060 might have gone horribly wrong, but she can still rock those keys. 73 00:03:09,364 --> 00:03:10,411 We will be there. 74 00:03:10,445 --> 00:03:11,886 - Love it. It's gonna be fun. - Yeah. 75 00:03:12,062 --> 00:03:14,792 Okay, with that hat, you got to show us 76 00:03:14,817 --> 00:03:15,923 a little of your Michael Jackson. 77 00:03:15,947 --> 00:03:18,640 (CHUCKLES) No. I'm not in the mood to dance like... 78 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,900 (CHIP LAUGHING) 79 00:03:32,733 --> 00:03:34,709 Ah, there's the gospel choir. 80 00:03:35,021 --> 00:03:36,168 Think they take requests? 81 00:03:36,267 --> 00:03:37,800 Only from God. 82 00:03:38,654 --> 00:03:41,154 But don't worry, he's an excellent DJ. 83 00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:44,820 Who are these beautiful new faces, Vince? 84 00:03:44,845 --> 00:03:46,632 Wow. Beautiful, huh? 85 00:03:47,098 --> 00:03:48,626 Gene never calls me beautiful. 86 00:03:49,549 --> 00:03:51,809 Chip, Leslie, this is Pastor Berry. He is the man. 87 00:03:51,963 --> 00:03:53,723 - Welcome, Sister Leslie. - (GIGGLES) 88 00:03:54,174 --> 00:03:56,130 - How you doing? Nice to meet you. - A handshake? 89 00:03:57,032 --> 00:03:58,809 Why don't you just slap me in the face? 90 00:04:00,311 --> 00:04:02,578 This is hug country. Welcome, brother. 91 00:04:02,603 --> 00:04:03,902 Oh. (CHUCKLES) 92 00:04:04,068 --> 00:04:06,035 Hey-hey, all right. You hear that? 93 00:04:06,233 --> 00:04:07,542 - I'm a brother. - Take it easy. 94 00:04:08,168 --> 00:04:11,246 Vincent! Baby! Oh! 95 00:04:11,708 --> 00:04:14,396 I am so happy to see you. 96 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,811 How long has it been since you came to church? 97 00:04:16,836 --> 00:04:18,420 I don't know, Aunt Estelle. Who keeps track? 98 00:04:18,444 --> 00:04:20,483 I'll tell you exactly how long it's been. 99 00:04:20,538 --> 00:04:23,439 Nine months, three weeks and six days. 100 00:04:24,925 --> 00:04:26,558 Oh, nice hat. 101 00:04:26,654 --> 00:04:29,128 - May I see it for a moment? - Yeah, look at that. 102 00:04:29,584 --> 00:04:32,485 No nephew of mine is gonna be wearing a hat in church! 103 00:04:32,659 --> 00:04:34,418 You look like a pimp. 104 00:04:35,459 --> 00:04:36,952 That's the look I was going for. 105 00:04:38,285 --> 00:04:39,886 Chip, Leslie, this is my Aunt Estelle. 106 00:04:39,911 --> 00:04:40,971 She basically raised me. 107 00:04:40,996 --> 00:04:42,729 And more importantly, she keeps mints 108 00:04:42,777 --> 00:04:44,377 from the Chinese restaurant in her purse. 109 00:04:44,521 --> 00:04:46,776 - Ah! - Oh, Leslie. 110 00:04:46,801 --> 00:04:49,796 Help me go set up the bake sale table, 111 00:04:49,859 --> 00:04:52,393 so we can push a couple of snickerdoodles. 112 00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:53,429 (CHUCKLES) 113 00:04:53,454 --> 00:04:55,573 You better eat a couple, too. 114 00:04:55,945 --> 00:04:59,446 Put a little jiggle in your wiggle. (LAUGHS) 115 00:04:59,636 --> 00:05:00,948 Chip won't mind. 116 00:05:03,844 --> 00:05:05,677 (CLEARS THROAT) So, if I want full immersion 117 00:05:05,702 --> 00:05:07,928 in the Baptist church experience, where should we sit? 118 00:05:08,455 --> 00:05:10,955 Uh, wherever she's sitting. 119 00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:18,201 You better warn Leslie. My aunt's gonna try to convert her. 120 00:05:18,295 --> 00:05:19,857 Starts with a bake sale, ends with a baptism. 121 00:05:19,881 --> 00:05:20,971 That's how she does it. 122 00:05:22,718 --> 00:05:25,218 Vincent told me about Chip's Bible column. 123 00:05:25,469 --> 00:05:28,103 - What church do you go to? - Oh, I don't go to church. 124 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:29,586 (GASPS) 125 00:05:30,644 --> 00:05:32,974 It's not a big deal; I just didn't grow up religious. 126 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,701 (GASPS) 127 00:05:35,455 --> 00:05:38,690 Leslie, honey, who were your parents? 128 00:05:38,692 --> 00:05:40,463 You need to find Jesus. 129 00:05:40,894 --> 00:05:43,094 Oh. I didn't know he was lost. 130 00:05:45,437 --> 00:05:48,290 Was that a joke? Because it wasn't funny. 131 00:05:50,940 --> 00:05:53,203 Hey, um, do you know when the choir starts? 132 00:05:53,607 --> 00:05:56,241 Oh, so you like the choir? 133 00:05:56,243 --> 00:05:57,571 Well, I am in the choir. 134 00:05:57,765 --> 00:06:00,813 Perhaps I can introduce you to our director. 135 00:06:00,932 --> 00:06:02,641 You know what his name is? 136 00:06:03,178 --> 00:06:04,195 Jesus. 137 00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:09,990 There are some new faces here today. 138 00:06:10,491 --> 00:06:11,850 And they're some good faces. 139 00:06:12,392 --> 00:06:14,075 - Amen! - ALL: Amen. 140 00:06:14,497 --> 00:06:16,446 Everyone, please give a warm welcome 141 00:06:16,471 --> 00:06:18,404 to Sister Leslie and Brother Chip. 142 00:06:18,665 --> 00:06:20,565 Oh. That's really nice. 143 00:06:20,567 --> 00:06:22,192 Thank you. All right. 144 00:06:22,636 --> 00:06:24,903 Hey, uh, can I get an amen? 145 00:06:24,905 --> 00:06:26,058 ALL: Amen. 146 00:06:27,027 --> 00:06:28,707 I said, can I get an amen?! 147 00:06:28,709 --> 00:06:30,238 ALL: Amen. 148 00:06:31,011 --> 00:06:32,410 Can I get a sit down? 149 00:06:32,412 --> 00:06:33,845 ALL: Sit down. 150 00:06:35,149 --> 00:06:37,349 (PIANO PLAYING GENTLE MUSIC) 151 00:06:42,556 --> 00:06:43,611 Hi, I'm Vince. 152 00:06:44,091 --> 00:06:45,478 Nice to meet you, Vince. 153 00:06:47,161 --> 00:06:48,274 You hear what she said? 154 00:06:48,821 --> 00:06:50,767 Ah, you mean, "Nice to meet you"? 155 00:06:51,581 --> 00:06:52,596 Yup. 156 00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:55,700 For a church cutie, that's like third base. 157 00:06:55,702 --> 00:06:56,711 (CHUCKLES) 158 00:06:56,736 --> 00:06:58,569 (MUSIC CONTINUES FASTER, LOUDER) 159 00:06:58,872 --> 00:07:00,539 (CONGREGATION WHOOPING) 160 00:07:00,541 --> 00:07:04,042 ♪ Stand up, stand up for Jesus ♪ 161 00:07:04,044 --> 00:07:06,955 ♪ Ye soldiers of the cross ♪ 162 00:07:06,980 --> 00:07:10,771 - Amen! - ♪ Lift high his royal banner ♪ 163 00:07:10,884 --> 00:07:14,286 - ♪ It must not suffer loss ♪ - (WHOOPS) 164 00:07:14,288 --> 00:07:17,822 - ♪ From victory unto victory... ♪ - Vince! (LAUGHS) 165 00:07:17,996 --> 00:07:19,624 I'm whoo-ing in church. 166 00:07:19,626 --> 00:07:20,973 (CHUCKLES) 167 00:07:21,261 --> 00:07:22,761 Now, if the Holy Spirit 168 00:07:22,763 --> 00:07:24,209 is putting twitches in your britches 169 00:07:24,608 --> 00:07:28,217 and ants in your pants, get up and dance! 170 00:07:28,602 --> 00:07:29,935 What? 171 00:07:29,937 --> 00:07:32,272 We can dance, too? (LAUGHS) 172 00:07:32,296 --> 00:07:33,506 I was happy just whoo-ing. 173 00:07:33,638 --> 00:07:34,770 (LAUGHS) Okay! 174 00:07:35,108 --> 00:07:37,604 ♪ Lift high his royal banner ♪ 175 00:07:37,811 --> 00:07:40,642 ♪ It must not suffer loss... ♪ 176 00:07:41,165 --> 00:07:43,212 Amen! (LAUGHS) 177 00:07:43,684 --> 00:07:44,767 Uh-oh. 178 00:07:44,883 --> 00:07:47,417 Vince, I think the Spirit's moving me to do the robot. 179 00:07:47,654 --> 00:07:50,476 (GRUNTING) 180 00:07:52,267 --> 00:07:54,793 ♪ And Christ is Lord indeed ♪ 181 00:07:54,795 --> 00:07:58,091 - ♪ Stand up, stand up for Jesus ♪ - Amen! 182 00:07:58,116 --> 00:07:59,649 ♪ Ye soldiers of the... ♪ 183 00:08:00,140 --> 00:08:02,307 (LAUGHS) I'm telling you, Gil, 184 00:08:02,536 --> 00:08:04,232 Vince's church was so much fun. 185 00:08:04,257 --> 00:08:05,389 I'm going again next Sunday. 186 00:08:05,672 --> 00:08:07,736 Well, that sure does sound like fun. 187 00:08:07,761 --> 00:08:10,330 I wouldn't know, as I haven't yet been asked to attend. 188 00:08:11,705 --> 00:08:12,900 Well, come on down. 189 00:08:12,994 --> 00:08:14,274 You're not gonna dance, are you? 190 00:08:14,371 --> 00:08:15,580 What? You don't want to see, 191 00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:17,082 uh, any of my sweet moves, huh? 192 00:08:20,053 --> 00:08:21,547 No, you're right. I shouldn't dance. 193 00:08:23,380 --> 00:08:25,497 But you're a rabbi. Won't you...? 194 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,466 Burst into flames as I walk in? 195 00:08:28,829 --> 00:08:30,419 No, I was gonna say feel awkward. 196 00:08:30,512 --> 00:08:32,428 No, I feel awkward everywhere. 197 00:08:33,405 --> 00:08:35,033 Remember the dance I did a second ago? 198 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:36,616 Yeah. 199 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:38,842 No, I-I'm a scholar of all religions. I'll be there. 200 00:08:39,046 --> 00:08:40,712 Well, I'm definitely going back next week. 201 00:08:40,941 --> 00:08:42,774 I'm gonna ask that church cutie to dinner. 202 00:08:42,776 --> 00:08:44,651 Then six or seven short months later, 203 00:08:44,963 --> 00:08:47,540 church cutie sleepover at Vince's place. 204 00:08:48,536 --> 00:08:49,626 Hey, guys! 205 00:08:49,651 --> 00:08:51,033 - Hey, hey. - Hey. 206 00:08:51,110 --> 00:08:54,229 Ah, Chip. Missed you at church this morning. 207 00:08:54,469 --> 00:08:55,930 - Where were you? - Yeah. 208 00:08:55,955 --> 00:08:57,755 I, uh, I went to Vince's church. 209 00:08:58,125 --> 00:08:59,156 Oh. 210 00:09:00,717 --> 00:09:01,734 Oh. 211 00:09:03,249 --> 00:09:04,254 Oh. 212 00:09:05,699 --> 00:09:07,543 Gene, what's up? You run out of batteries? 213 00:09:09,768 --> 00:09:10,979 Another church, huh? 214 00:09:11,371 --> 00:09:13,916 Yeah. Um, is that cool? 215 00:09:14,441 --> 00:09:16,570 - Yeah. Of course it's cool. - (SIGHS) 216 00:09:16,876 --> 00:09:19,283 Yeah. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. 217 00:09:19,379 --> 00:09:20,573 - Cool, cool, cool. - Yeah. 218 00:09:20,598 --> 00:09:21,721 Oh, cool. All right, well, 219 00:09:21,746 --> 00:09:23,928 'cause I-I'm going back next Sunday. (CHUCKLES) 220 00:09:25,075 --> 00:09:26,201 Kewl. 221 00:09:32,987 --> 00:09:35,423 I shouldn't care that Chip is going back to that church. 222 00:09:36,064 --> 00:09:38,775 I'm not supposed to feel jealousy; I'm a priest. 223 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,747 You're also human and this is normal. I mean, uh, 224 00:09:41,911 --> 00:09:44,145 you've been with Chip since he started doing 225 00:09:44,170 --> 00:09:46,095 this whole thing, and a lot's changed since then. 226 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,977 I've lost, like, 50 pounds, not that anyone ever mentions it. 227 00:09:51,205 --> 00:09:53,161 When I do tell you you've lost weight, you say, 228 00:09:53,186 --> 00:09:54,575 "What, I was fat before?" 229 00:09:55,942 --> 00:09:57,196 Can't win with you. 230 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,516 So I was fat before, is that what you're saying? 231 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,350 I guess I'm just a little insecure. 232 00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:05,374 Yeah, I'm a lot insecure. You just called me fat. 233 00:10:06,927 --> 00:10:10,130 I mean, Catholic Mass has largely been the same 234 00:10:10,191 --> 00:10:11,450 for hundreds of years. 235 00:10:11,475 --> 00:10:13,942 Do you know how many people I've lost to more modern churches? 236 00:10:14,263 --> 00:10:16,374 Some of them give away swag bags. 237 00:10:16,808 --> 00:10:18,776 You're going to church, not the Oscars. 238 00:10:20,635 --> 00:10:21,806 It's disgraceful. 239 00:10:23,669 --> 00:10:25,510 What's in the bags, like, little chocolates? 240 00:10:26,341 --> 00:10:27,650 It's disgraceful. 241 00:10:30,032 --> 00:10:33,100 I'm turning bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ. 242 00:10:33,125 --> 00:10:34,724 I'm doing a magic show up there. 243 00:10:37,301 --> 00:10:39,806 Look, he'll come back to you, man, you know. 244 00:10:39,831 --> 00:10:41,518 He's like a golden retriever. 245 00:10:42,502 --> 00:10:45,222 He's loyal, he's got a gorgeous head of hair, and he's a little dumb. 246 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:49,752 Hey, 247 00:10:49,864 --> 00:10:51,861 don't worry about being like any other church. 248 00:10:51,886 --> 00:10:52,947 Just be you. 249 00:10:55,081 --> 00:10:56,581 Not sure that's gonna be enough. 250 00:11:01,843 --> 00:11:04,912 This is where you're supposed to say, "It is gonna be enough" 251 00:11:05,437 --> 00:11:07,138 Oh, all right, I'm sorry. Yes, you're... 252 00:11:07,163 --> 00:11:08,463 Uh, it is gonna be... What? 253 00:11:08,707 --> 00:11:10,675 - What did you want me to say? - Enough! 254 00:11:10,744 --> 00:11:12,378 All right, I'm just trying to help. 255 00:11:18,254 --> 00:11:20,822 Vincent! Two weeks in a row! 256 00:11:21,054 --> 00:11:23,479 Oh, you get yourself a purse mint, baby. 257 00:11:23,509 --> 00:11:24,579 (LAUGHS) 258 00:11:25,013 --> 00:11:28,465 And, Leslie, dear. I am so glad you came back. 259 00:11:28,549 --> 00:11:30,516 You know who else came back? 260 00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:32,609 Jesus. 261 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,293 You are relentless, Estelle. 262 00:11:36,517 --> 00:11:38,102 Can I help you set up the bake sale table? 263 00:11:38,126 --> 00:11:41,549 Do you know who else was good at setting up tables? 264 00:11:41,816 --> 00:11:43,549 Let me guess: Jesus? 265 00:11:44,182 --> 00:11:46,260 No. My Uncle Ned. 266 00:11:46,397 --> 00:11:48,730 But since you bring up Jesus... (CHUCKLES) 267 00:11:52,460 --> 00:11:55,428 - Oh, oh. Thank you. - Whoa. Oh, all right. 268 00:11:55,430 --> 00:11:56,815 Hey. Good morning. All right. 269 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,308 What a very welcoming church. 270 00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:01,013 That was a better hug than I got from my wife at our wedding. Folks. 271 00:12:04,852 --> 00:12:07,027 Gil, you talk to Gene Machine today? 272 00:12:07,108 --> 00:12:08,728 He seemed a little weird about me coming here. 273 00:12:08,752 --> 00:12:10,986 Ah. You picked up on that. Well, look-look. 274 00:12:11,055 --> 00:12:13,529 It's a delicate situation, but he'll be fine, trust me. 275 00:12:13,591 --> 00:12:14,803 I've known Gene a long time. 276 00:12:14,828 --> 00:12:16,751 Put it this way, we met at a barbershop. Folks. 277 00:12:18,798 --> 00:12:21,259 Yeah, you're allowed to see other churches. You're Gucci. 278 00:12:23,558 --> 00:12:25,124 "Gucci" means good, Chip. 279 00:12:25,126 --> 00:12:27,694 Oh. Thank you. (CHUCKLES) 280 00:12:28,229 --> 00:12:30,916 Yeah, you're right, I got to stop feeling guilty and just enjoy myself. 281 00:12:30,940 --> 00:12:32,308 I'm gonna ask the pastor if I can do another, 282 00:12:32,332 --> 00:12:33,620 "Can I get an amen?" (CHUCKLES) 283 00:12:33,645 --> 00:12:35,174 Oh, have you tried one of these? 284 00:12:35,354 --> 00:12:37,774 (CHUCKLES) It is very Gucci. 285 00:12:41,373 --> 00:12:43,907 Vince, this is a beautiful place of worship. 286 00:12:43,932 --> 00:12:45,932 A lot less Jews than I'm used to, but... 287 00:12:46,359 --> 00:12:48,249 (CHUCKLES) I can work with it. 288 00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:50,817 Leslie said the music's dynamite. 289 00:12:50,951 --> 00:12:52,084 Any favorite hymns? 290 00:12:52,287 --> 00:12:54,654 I'm not here for hymns. I'm here for hers. 291 00:12:56,722 --> 00:12:58,795 Specifically, that her. 292 00:12:59,935 --> 00:13:02,542 You know, uh, I'm newly single myself. 293 00:13:02,723 --> 00:13:04,777 I'm a bit rusty. What's your opening line? 294 00:13:05,394 --> 00:13:06,499 Hi, I'm Vince. 295 00:13:06,808 --> 00:13:08,634 Nice. Direct. 296 00:13:09,334 --> 00:13:10,947 That might really work for me. 297 00:13:12,947 --> 00:13:14,033 Hi, I'm Vince. 298 00:13:16,878 --> 00:13:19,274 I'm having a lovely time hanging out here 299 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,866 on Earth with you, Leslie. 300 00:13:22,017 --> 00:13:25,569 Be a shame if I couldn't hang out with you in heaven, too. 301 00:13:27,194 --> 00:13:29,530 Oh, no. You're not gonna kill me, are you? 302 00:13:29,730 --> 00:13:30,914 No! 303 00:13:31,496 --> 00:13:33,203 But someday God will. 304 00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:38,717 I just want you to end up playing harp with the angels, 305 00:13:38,742 --> 00:13:43,278 and not sizzling on Lucifer's eternal barbecue pit. 306 00:13:44,499 --> 00:13:46,561 Estelle, you are the best, 307 00:13:46,674 --> 00:13:48,514 but don't waste your time trying to convert me. 308 00:13:48,726 --> 00:13:50,555 I'm just never gonna get there. 309 00:13:51,141 --> 00:13:52,579 Okay, honey. 310 00:13:53,481 --> 00:13:54,955 One never knows. 311 00:13:55,430 --> 00:13:58,088 God works in mysterious ways. 312 00:13:59,837 --> 00:14:01,370 And so does Aunt Estelle. 313 00:14:01,457 --> 00:14:02,465 What? 314 00:14:02,895 --> 00:14:03,942 Huh? 315 00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:07,615 I'm a crime reporter. 316 00:14:07,751 --> 00:14:09,272 You read about the guy that stabbed three people 317 00:14:09,296 --> 00:14:10,982 at the party in Bayside? That was me. 318 00:14:12,279 --> 00:14:14,687 No, no, no. I mean, I wrote it. I didn't stab 'em. 319 00:14:14,879 --> 00:14:18,614 (BOTH LAUGH NERVOUSLY) 320 00:14:19,388 --> 00:14:21,574 Well, it was a swing and a miss for me 321 00:14:21,576 --> 00:14:22,935 with the young lady over yonder. 322 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,559 It's like no one's ever seen a rabbi 323 00:14:24,584 --> 00:14:25,746 in a Baptist church before. 324 00:14:27,411 --> 00:14:28,590 How's it going with this one? 325 00:14:30,977 --> 00:14:32,188 Gil, seriously? 326 00:14:32,774 --> 00:14:34,993 I-I'm sorry, I don't mean to blow up, 327 00:14:35,018 --> 00:14:38,133 uh, anybody's, uh, spot. (CHUCKLES) 328 00:14:38,158 --> 00:14:39,195 No, Vince is great. 329 00:14:39,220 --> 00:14:41,258 Uh, you know, I'm-I'm going through a divorce, 330 00:14:41,283 --> 00:14:42,906 and he's helping me get back on my feet. 331 00:14:43,095 --> 00:14:46,864 Aw, Vince, that's so nice. I like nice guys. 332 00:14:47,202 --> 00:14:48,651 Do you, now? 333 00:14:50,632 --> 00:14:52,271 Well, then it might also interest you to know 334 00:14:52,273 --> 00:14:53,812 that I'm teaching Gil how to read. 335 00:14:54,884 --> 00:14:57,236 That's right. I'm quite illiterate. 336 00:14:58,681 --> 00:15:00,123 And I'm also blind. 337 00:15:04,853 --> 00:15:06,620 Sweet man. Sweet, sweet man. 338 00:15:07,555 --> 00:15:09,027 BERRY: Good morning, brothers and sisters. 339 00:15:09,051 --> 00:15:12,020 Take your seats, and make sure your cell phones are off, 340 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,825 because God is not calling you here. 341 00:15:16,185 --> 00:15:17,977 He's calling you right here. 342 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,079 Guys! Come on, it's starting! 343 00:15:23,249 --> 00:15:27,150 God's cell phone plan has unlimited minutes. 344 00:15:28,436 --> 00:15:31,712 Can he hear you now? You bet he can! 345 00:15:33,288 --> 00:15:34,487 Can I get a amen? 346 00:15:34,607 --> 00:15:35,918 ALL: Amen! 347 00:15:35,943 --> 00:15:38,285 Yes. I just love it, every time. 348 00:15:39,954 --> 00:15:41,540 Any new faces with us today? 349 00:15:43,115 --> 00:15:44,352 How about you in the back? 350 00:15:44,868 --> 00:15:46,868 Stand up and be recognized, brother. 351 00:15:51,873 --> 00:15:52,947 No, thank you. 352 00:15:54,431 --> 00:15:56,543 Please, stand up. We're a family here. 353 00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:00,223 (SIGHS) Hello. 354 00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:04,661 Father Gene? What are you doing here? 355 00:16:06,212 --> 00:16:08,092 I don't want to talk about this right now, Chip. 356 00:16:09,057 --> 00:16:12,158 Well, I-I think we should talk about this right now. 357 00:16:12,387 --> 00:16:15,269 - Can I get an amen? - Oh, no, you cannot. 358 00:16:16,546 --> 00:16:18,646 Only I ask for the amens. 359 00:16:18,805 --> 00:16:21,031 - Can I get a amen? - ALL: Amen! 360 00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:24,125 See? 361 00:16:29,261 --> 00:16:30,300 What are you doing here? 362 00:16:30,538 --> 00:16:32,253 I thought you said everything was "kewl." 363 00:16:33,374 --> 00:16:35,909 I wanted to see what you thought was so great about this place. 364 00:16:36,220 --> 00:16:38,370 Now I get it. It's fun, exciting. 365 00:16:38,578 --> 00:16:39,628 Oh... 366 00:16:41,838 --> 00:16:43,805 I mean, that's hard to argue with. 367 00:16:44,519 --> 00:16:47,008 And I'm happy you're-you're growing in your faith 368 00:16:47,033 --> 00:16:49,410 and getting some different perspectives. 369 00:16:49,477 --> 00:16:53,042 But I got to admit, I was... a little jealous. 370 00:16:53,831 --> 00:16:55,628 You were? About me? 371 00:16:57,244 --> 00:16:58,268 Well, I'm flattered. 372 00:16:58,533 --> 00:17:00,730 I always thought you just thought of me as a nuisance. 373 00:17:01,011 --> 00:17:02,777 - Oh, I do. - Oh. 374 00:17:03,707 --> 00:17:05,259 - Huge nuisance. - (CHUCKLES) 375 00:17:05,484 --> 00:17:07,408 But a lot of my friends are nuisances. 376 00:17:08,009 --> 00:17:09,107 You've met Gil. 377 00:17:10,607 --> 00:17:12,007 Did you just say I was your friend? 378 00:17:12,435 --> 00:17:13,628 Well, yeah, of course. 379 00:17:14,107 --> 00:17:15,667 I didn't realize I had to say it. 380 00:17:16,067 --> 00:17:18,776 Wow. You're my friend, too, Gene. 381 00:17:18,993 --> 00:17:20,372 I know. You don't have to say it. 382 00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,091 Look, this church is great, okay? 383 00:17:24,116 --> 00:17:27,333 But it is missing the most important thing, and that's you. 384 00:17:27,670 --> 00:17:28,700 All right? 385 00:17:29,013 --> 00:17:30,947 And you coming down here all stalker style 386 00:17:31,043 --> 00:17:32,375 really reminded me of that. 387 00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:36,069 I appreciate that, but I wasn't stalking you. 388 00:17:36,566 --> 00:17:39,064 I just followed you, hid, and watched you. 389 00:17:44,613 --> 00:17:45,894 That's stalking, Gene. 390 00:17:48,089 --> 00:17:50,244 I'm glad we met. I moved here last year, 391 00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:52,635 and it's been impossible to meet nice guys. 392 00:17:54,522 --> 00:17:55,744 Want to get lunch after this? 393 00:17:56,095 --> 00:17:58,393 That'd be nice. Like me. 394 00:17:59,227 --> 00:18:00,257 ESTELLE: Vincent! 395 00:18:00,684 --> 00:18:02,757 Nice to see you catching up with Tracy. 396 00:18:02,921 --> 00:18:04,025 Hi, Aunt Estelle. 397 00:18:04,628 --> 00:18:06,828 Why you call her "Aunt Estelle"? That's my Aunt Estelle. 398 00:18:07,403 --> 00:18:08,926 I'm both your Aunt Estelle. 399 00:18:12,974 --> 00:18:13,990 What? 400 00:18:14,015 --> 00:18:15,615 Y'all are second cousins. 401 00:18:15,843 --> 00:18:16,865 BOTH: What?! 402 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:21,873 You'd know that if you came to church 403 00:18:21,898 --> 00:18:25,404 more than every nine months, three weeks and six days. 404 00:18:28,957 --> 00:18:31,810 You're my cousin? Ugh. 405 00:18:32,553 --> 00:18:34,435 I don't think a "ugh" is necessary. 406 00:18:35,930 --> 00:18:36,964 But yeah, ugh. 407 00:18:38,979 --> 00:18:40,105 Tracy. 408 00:18:42,470 --> 00:18:44,228 Might I throw my hat in the ring? 409 00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:45,408 I mean, I can't offer much, 410 00:18:45,433 --> 00:18:47,433 but I can virtually guarantee we're not related. 411 00:18:48,921 --> 00:18:50,984 - Stay away from my cousin, Gil. - All right. 412 00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:54,362 Hey. You seen Leslie? I can't find her anywhere. 413 00:18:54,741 --> 00:18:55,878 Aunt Estelle figured out a way 414 00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:57,302 to keep her around a little longer. 415 00:18:57,355 --> 00:18:59,355 (PIANO PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC) 416 00:19:00,884 --> 00:19:04,452 ♪ Every time I feel the spirit ♪ 417 00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:06,465 ♪ Moving in my heart ♪ 418 00:19:06,490 --> 00:19:08,356 ♪ I will pray ♪ 419 00:19:08,429 --> 00:19:11,561 ♪ Every time I feel the spirit ♪ 420 00:19:11,781 --> 00:19:13,281 ♪ Moving in my heart ♪ 421 00:19:13,541 --> 00:19:15,272 ♪ I will pray ♪ 422 00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:18,866 ♪ Yes, every time I feel the spirit ♪ 423 00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:20,733 ♪ Moving in my heart ♪ 424 00:19:20,947 --> 00:19:23,053 ♪ I will pray ♪ 425 00:19:23,248 --> 00:19:26,436 ♪ Yes, every time I feel the spirit ♪ 426 00:19:26,464 --> 00:19:28,564 ♪ Moving in my heart ♪ 427 00:19:28,690 --> 00:19:33,927 ♪ I will pray. ♪ 428 00:19:35,958 --> 00:19:38,356 ♪ Ay... ♪ 429 00:19:38,455 --> 00:19:40,655 (CHEERING) 430 00:19:49,285 --> 00:19:51,653 As Matthew tells us in his Gospel, 431 00:19:51,749 --> 00:19:55,545 it is a foolish man who builds his house on sand, 432 00:19:56,378 --> 00:19:59,926 but it is the wise man who builds it... 433 00:20:00,605 --> 00:20:01,938 on rock! 434 00:20:03,153 --> 00:20:04,899 (PLAYING HEAVY METAL GUITAR SOLO) 435 00:20:05,057 --> 00:20:07,540 Yeah! I'm wide-awake now, baby! 436 00:20:10,678 --> 00:20:13,085 Father Hendrix, ladies and gentlemen! 437 00:20:14,076 --> 00:20:16,343 ♪ ♪ 438 00:20:23,228 --> 00:20:24,464 You know what? This doesn't feel right. 439 00:20:24,488 --> 00:20:25,721 Open your hymnals. 440 00:20:28,549 --> 00:20:33,549 Synced and corrected by Pisuly www.addic7ed.com 29929

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