All language subtitles for 02. Ladies Of The Evening-eng

Yep.

Yeah.

- Yep.
- Well?

Your infestation profile is threefold.

You have silverfish and water bugs
in the drainage areas.

Under the baseboards
you have Blattaria andropolis.

Hear that? The Greek president
lives under our baseboard.

Blattaria andropolis is a cockroach.

Maybe he'll be voted out next election.

What do you do to get rid of them?

The next step is to ascertain
the condition of your exterior.

I need to perform a cursory inspection
of your subterranean substructure.

- Crawl under the house?
- Easy to make it sound stupid.

Poor man,
how does he face himself every day

knowing his life is devoted
to killing living things?

Rose, I don't think
a guy who drives around

with a fibreglass termite on his van
ponders many deep questions.

Blanche, what's the matter?

Oh, girls, I'm just in ecstasy.

My body is tingling all over.
Guess what just happened.

We know what happened. What part
of the Middle East is he from?

I just won the raffle
at the movie theatre.

Tickets to the premiere
of Burt Reynolds' new movie tomorrow.

- That's nice.
- Yes.

And passes for me
and my two best friends

to the private party afterwards

to be hosted by none other
than Mr Burt Reynolds himself.

- Sophia, honey...
- Oh, no.

Not this time.
I'm tired of being Tonto of the group.

I couldn't get another ticket.

Then this time we'll draw cards.
I missed out on Evita.

Ma, I'm not giving up a chance
to meet Burt Reynolds.

- Me neither.
- Et tu, Blanche?

Sophia, Burt Reynolds is
one of our finest living actors.

He should have won the Oscar
for Deliverance.

Not to mention Starting Over.

That Academy's just jealous.

Put Sir Laurence Olivier in
Cannonball Run, see what he can do.

I'm sorry, Sophia,
but the answer's no.

Fine. Break an old lady's heart.

I'll be out back
with the rest of the garbage.

Don't worry, she'll get over it.

And even if she doesn't, who cares?

We're gonna meet Burt Reynolds.

I always get this reaction
when I wear the tight jumpsuit.

- What did you find?
- Bad news. You've got termites.

- No. Can you get rid of 'em?
- Haven't you heard our motto?

- What is it?
- "We get rid of termites".

We'll tent the house.
You'll have to move out for two days.

Where will we stay?

How about a beautiful hotel
over on Miami Beach?

We're meeting Burt Reynolds.
Let's make a weekend out of it.

We can't afford a hotel there.

I'll find one we can afford.
What do you say?

- I think it's a terrific idea.
- OK.

You can start tomorrow.

I'm off to find us the perfect hotel
for our perfect weekend.

Ma, a hotel on the beach.
Doesn't that sound like fun?

I can go? I don't get gassed
with the termites?

Dorothy,
you're such a good daughter.

She'll get over it.
And if she doesn't, who cares?

We're going to meet Burt Reynolds.

You want the bed next to the TV
or the window?

The bed next to Burt Reynolds.

Fine, I'll take this one.

- Ma, are you all right?
- Yeah.

Just a little relapse from my pneumonia.
You remember.

I ran six miles in the rain to bring
you the cannoli for your lunchbox.

Ma, please.

Don't worry, I'll be all right.

You all go schmooze
with Burt and his buddies.

I'll stay here
and hack myself unconscious.

That's being a good sport.

Dorothy, you think
Burt's gonna like this dress?

Yeah.

That plunging neckline
will really show off his chest hair.

The last time I wore this was at
the 1972 presidential inauguration.

I danced in the arms of the president.

The next morning I woke up
still in his arms.

Blanche. You and Nixon?

Nixon?

No.

I can't even picture Nixon naked.

He must look like
one of those little dress-up dolls.

Little mounds of plastic
to indicate where things oughta be.

No, I was talking about
Mr William "Buster" Collier.

The president
of the Chamber of Commerce.

Oh, that presidential inauguration.

Buster wanted me to be his First Lady

- but he died two days later.
- I'm sorry.

He was performing
his first official function:

Breaking a champagne bottle
over the new tollbooth.

But before
he could step out of the way,

he was run over
by ten Shriners on minibikes

who just happened to have
the exact change.

So many of our great leaders
have gone that way.

There's a story in the paper
about the party tonight.

- Really?
- Look who's gonna be there.

Dom DeLuise.

Loni Anderson.

Charles Nelson Reilly.

Charles Nelson Reilly.

God. Who else?

- John Forsythe.
- Mr John Forsythe.

Oh, my God. He's just
the sexiest man in television.

And Burt is the sexiest man
in the movies.

I cannot believe this. All that
manliness in one crowded room.

Hot crowded room. Everybody's
steamy bodies all pressed...

Blanche.

Relax. You'll set off
the smoke detector.

Hello? This is Rose Nylund.

What?

I'm one of the winners of
the Publishers Clearing House?

Ed McMahon
wants to see me right away?

Leave my Burt Reynolds ticket
on the dresser before I go?

Ma, get off the phone.

Mind your own business.

Guess what.
I think this is Sophia.

Which room's available?

Room 506.

The room is 50, the young lady's 100.

Make it quick.
I'm not running a hotel here.

Girls, don't you just love our hotel?

It's much nicer than those big chains.
How did you find it?

It's in our price range, near the beach

and it had the most men in the lobby.

Let's go.
We don't wanna keep Burt waiting.

Wait a minute.
Let's have a quick drink in the bar.

- Oh, Blanche.
- Come on. It'll be fun.

OK, but let's make it quick. Miss.

Girls, you see that man
over there staring at me?

He's undressing me with his eyes.

- Do you wanna move tables?
- Not yet, he's only half done.

Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice
you from across the room.

My friends and I
would like to buy you ladies a drink.

Thank you, but we don't have much time.

- This is Carl and this is John.
- We're all from Kenosha.

I know a John from Kenosha.

I'll bet you know a lot of Johns.

That's a good one.

It must be regional humour.

- We're at the clothing show.
- Oh, is leather big this year?

It is with Carl.

Yeah. As long as
I don't have to pay extra.

Even I don't get that one.

What's your name?

Blanche. These are my friends
Rose and Dorothy.

So, how long have you girls
been working?

That's an odd lead-off question, Carl.

But actually I've been working
about 30 years.

You must really know your business.

Dorothy's a very experienced teacher.

Everybody who's had her
says she's great.

Let's get some drinks, go upstairs
and have Dorothy teach us the three Rs.

Reading, writing,
running around the bed.

As enticing as the offer is,
we really must pass.

If you don't wanna party, there are
younger girls that'll take our money.

Girls who'll take their money.
You know what he thinks we are?

Waitresses?

No, Rose. Hookers.

God, that must mean
everybody here is...

Everybody is under arrest.
It's a raid.

All right, everybody stay
right where they are.

The wagons will be here momentarily
to transport all of you downtown.

Downtown? He means jail.

Oh, really, Rose.
I thought he meant Neiman Marcus.

I've never been in jail.

I won't make it. They always
prey on the weak and innocent.

They'll taunt me for trying to excel
at my work in the laundry.

I'll fall in with a bad crowd
whose leader looks like Ethel Merman.

I'll be forced to engineer
a prison break using my laundry cart.

From that time on
I won't know a moment's peace.

I'll scar my fingerprints
with battery acid

and run from town to town taking jobs
that people have who got bad grades.

Then one day they'll find me, holed up
in a shack in the Louisiana bayou.

A sheriff named Bull
will call my name over a megaphone.

When I run,
he'll riddle my body with bullets.

Please don't let them
take me downtown.

I wanna live.

You're not good in a crisis,
are you, Rose?

Dorothy, what are we gonna do?

We'll have to explain
that this is all a terrible mistake.

Officer.

What can I do for the senior statesman
of the group?

I'll let that pass
because you have the upper hand.

My friends and I are totally innocent.

- I'm innocent too.
- Me too.

Quiet, you trash.

Go on, Dorothy.

Officer, if I could see you
for just a moment,

I'm sure we could settle this matter
to your satisfaction.

Forget it.
I happen to be a married man.

All of you downtown.
We're moving now.

Officer, you don't understand. We were
on our way to see Burt Reynolds.

Don't you dare drag
Burt's good name into this.

Move.

Move, all of you. Let's go.
Move it. Come on.

Come on.

I cannot believe it. Arrested.

- I've never been in jail in my life.
- Relax, honey.

With the notches you must have on your
garter belt it was bound to happen.

Oh, Rose. Rose, honey.
Are you all right?

I was booked. Fingerprints, mug shots.

I'm a known criminal.
I can't go back to my home town.

- Nobody's ever gonna find out.
- Oh, yes, they will.

The St Olaf Courier Dispatch is known
for its investigative reporting.

You're right.
That series they did on oat fungus

was an uncompromising
piece of journalism.

Damn. I bet you Burt is
greeting his guests right now.

I can't believe we're gonna miss it.

I won't accept it.

Excuse me. Officer.

A grievous injustice has been
perpetrated against my friends and me.

We are totally innocent.
We're just three helpless females,

desperately in need of a big strong
strapping man like yourself.

What cute earrings.

Did you really think
you could get us out

by flirting with that guard?

- Yes, if he'd been a man.
- Sure.

It's always a man with you.
Men and sex, sex and men.

There's nothing wrong
with being career-oriented.

It's your overactive sex drive
that got us into this mess.

Who picks a hotel
because of all the men?

Just get off my back. You think
I'm happy about being arrested?

You think I'm happy
about missing Burt Reynolds

or about being locked up
with this gutter trash?

What did you just say?

What cute earrings.

Nobody calls me names.

Come on,
I'll let you have the first punch.

Punch? Heavens.

Fight, fight.

You cut that out right now.

I'm gonna tear you apart.

Listen, you punk.

You wanna fight,
you'll have to fight me.

But I warn you, I did time in Attica.

Attica's a men's prison.

I know. I was there a year
before they found out.

Sorry, chief.
I didn't mean to ruffle your feathers.

Oh, Dorothy. That was magnificent.

How did you ever pull that off?

I work in the public school system.
It's not that different.

Oh, Blanche.
I'm sorry I yelled at you. I apologise.

Don't you worry. We're all on edge.

This is the biggest disappointment
of my life.

Yes.

And I've known some
real disappointment, believe me.

You're not gonna tell us that story
about the exploding pig again, are you?

I never told you a story
about an exploding pig, Dorothy.

It was a peg-legged pig.

Our possum was the one that exploded.

Forgive me, Rose. With so many possum
explosions, it's hard to keep track.

So what was this great disappointment
in your life?

Butter. I wanted to be Butter Queen.

What an actress.

She was so good
in Gone With The Wind.

I wanted to be
Miss Olivia de Havilland myself.

- Blanche, are you listening?
- Bits and pieces.

Go on, Rose.

Butter Queen
was our town's highest honour.

From the time I was born
my folks groomed me for it.

Singing lessons, dancing lessons,
junior butter pageants.

For 16 years my entire life
revolved around butter.

You were very fortunate.
So many of us wasted our youth.

When the time came for the pageant,
I was incredible.

I showed poise
in the evening-gown competition.

I was brilliant
in the oral butter quiz.

They couldn't even trip me up
with a trick margarine question.

That evening butter was spelt R-O-S-E.

Rose, you're embarrassing yourself.
Please don't go on.

I have to. I've kept these
bitter butter memories too long.

As the pageant
drew to its frenzied finale,

there I was,
alongside the other two finalists,

churning my guts out.

When all of a sudden, for no apparent
reason, my churn jammed.

- Oh, no.
- Yes.

And just like that, it was over.

I'd lost.

It was the biggest disappointment
in my life.

It was small consolation
to find out, years later,

there had been
churn-tampering involved.

Blanche. Rose, we're going
to the other end of the cell.

Don't cross this line.

Did I hear you say
that you were from St Olaf?

- Yes.
- I'm from St Gustaf.

We're neighbours. My name's Meg.

I'm Rose.
What are you doing here, Meg?

I was arrested for being a hooker,
like you.

I'm not a hooker.
I was arrested by mistake.

That's what
I always tell the judge, too.

How did you get mixed up in this?

I don't know.

Things were bad at home.

I ended up in Miami.

It just happened.

Nothing could be
bad enough at home

for you to end up doing
what you're doing.

I don't need a lecture.

But you can't be happy with your life.

- I don't wanna talk about it.
- If you ever wanna talk,

you know, neighbour to neighbour,
I'm here.

Ma, thank God you're here.

Arrested for prostitution.
I can't believe it.

Sophia.

Sophia, we're innocent.

How can these cops think
anyone would pay to sleep with you?

Sophia, did you come to bail us out?

No, Rose, she's dropping off
a manicotti with a file in it.

We're gonna see Burt after all.

I thought these tickets
were gonna go to waste.

Which one of you isn't going?

I'm the one who won the tickets.

It's my mom who's bailing us out.

I lost Butter Queen.
Haven't I suffered enough?

- We'll draw straws.
- No.

- We'll flip a coin.
- No.

Sophia, now try and be understanding.

Understanding? I came to bail you out
and you won't let me go?

Ma, stop complaining
and get us out of here.

Where are your roommates?

- They're not here.
- Ma.

Don't "Ma" me, you cheap floozy.

Ma, you would do this
to your own flesh and blood?

You'll get over it. If you don't, who
cares? I'm off to see Burt Reynolds.

And then, you're gonna love this,

Dom DeLuise insists
I tell Burt the story.

Sophia, I don't wanna hear any more.

Not even the part where Burt and Dom
insisted I tell it to Loni?

That's it.
I don't wanna hear another word.

Cinderella's back from the ball

and her wicked roommates
are jealous.

We are not jealous, Ma. We are angry.
You left us in jail.

I sent bail money.
You were out an hour later.

That was the time I was nibbling a
giant shrimp out of Jerry Reed's hand.

You're making this up
just to rub it in.

You have never met these people.

Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy.

And so are you in anything backless.

Last night was a bigger disappointment
than losing Butter Queen.

- Do you wanna know why?
- No.

Meg. Come in.

I can't, my taxi's waiting.

I just wanted to stop by
and say thank you.

- For what?
- For convincing me to go home.

I figured I'd give it another try.

Oh, that's great.

What was it I said?

Nothing.

I didn't wanna be your age
and still be in the business.

Well, good luck.

I've never felt so good...

...and so cheap in my whole life.

At least something good
came out of that horrible night.

- Sophia around?
- Hi, Burt.

- How about a little lunch?
- How about a big lunch?

My God.

You're Mr Burt Reynolds.

I hope so, otherwise
I got the wrong underwear on.

- These your roommates?
- Yeah.

- Which one's the slut?
- I am.