All language subtitles for Violently.Happy.2016.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.x264-CMYK.English

OK, from center...

...and breathe.

Alright, good.
Same thing

Release shoulders...

Ah... that's it.

Once again.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Widen both legs.

Fourth position.

Roll down.

"Violently Happy"

OK, yeah.
Let's start what we just did.

We'll do the same thing.

Choose someone to start with.

Ya, can we start?

It's the time?

When you play SM,

- you can make it to total new reality.

You can construct, yeah.

When you have this
♪ -thing in a way,

- you're allowed to totally
follow these impulses.

And that's great, but...

...on the other hand,
it will never work-

- if you totally go against
these impulses of the others.

So, you need a sort
of sincerity to play.

Both sides, ja.

Because this is really important that you really
follow your impulses. And your topping positions-

- and be true to that.

Not try to please-

- because it blurs the situation.

Enough playing!

It's such fun.

Expand around, OK?

Feel this.

Here we go.
Start dancing.

For me the concept is this like-

- every dancer-

- is also choreographer.
Is also creator.

Felix?

What?

- Felix?
- Yes, a moment.

Wait, I am coming.

Whenever you come
in to a new environment,

- you're very quickly reading-

- whatever is to be
read at this moment.

You know that...
just scanning the space-

- and sensing what is like,

- is happening in this environment.

And I remember your hands,

- like the skin-

- as the thing when you were...
You know whenever you encounter a new body.

There's a thing that you recognize.

About the first meeting.

Like this either the smells...

Sometimes it's the smell,
sometimes it's the skin.

And I remember you.
It was very much the kind of the...

...the skin on the hands, so...

...that I remember of our gaiety...

...which is also this kind of...
It recognizes me like in a sense of-

- It felt so very different
from my own skin.

In the sense of age,
in the sense of quality.

I think... we're not very
good at open relationship.

But... this are failed to
support the other one in that.

Because in so you
think it's a good thing.

It's really difficult
to accept sometimes.

It just hurts.
Hurts a lot.

It's not easy...

...not to blame the other person.

I think with this kind of questions.

It's really hard to
know what you want.

If you mean...
that has been very hard to answer.

Especially it was almost
said if I have no...

There is no kind of pre...

...kind of...

...research that has
been done before you.

- This... Is Thy song...
- Thy song...

Fall and feel...

Stay... Away...
Stay away...

- If you don't trust in me.
- Don't come in.

Don't come in.

Fuck you.

Stay.

Are you OK?

Do they kill you?

It's already a bit...

I was surprised.

I was really surprised.

All this is going
to be reconstructed.

So...

...another "ruin"

Kater Holzig until recently.

Do you know what it was before?

Before?
No.

It's all been bought
and will be made into...

...Mega-luxury apartments.

We have a network of
lots of different projects-

- and protagonists in the city-

- with the same aim to
design the city themselves.

And actually there are hardly any
sites left along the River Spree-

- where there is still
any kind of free space.

It's really crass how much
the view has changed-

- with all those new buildings there.

That's really is crass.

I've been in Berlin for 14 years-

- and the face of the city has
changed so much in those 14 years-

- it's no longer recognizable.

Well, there was my office.

And then I always put my
little table here in summer-

- because we always
had internet here.

I always took my little desk and
put it here with my computer-

- and I worked here
that was really lovely.

In contrast to my current work-

- here it was all about how
to design a public space-

- where many different
people can come together-

- to design and communicate.

And then on the other hand now
the bodywork and sex work-

- seems to represent the opposite.

Creating a space that is initially
safe and relatively closed.

Where one is safe to
show oneself completely-

- and can show oneself intimately.
- Okay.

I'm pretty interested in this field.

Hello

It's baking day...

Good, eh?
The pastry already tastes good.

That's the most important thing
if the pastry tastes good then...

...the rest will be a success.

But somehow I could
also imagine it with...

...grated orange or
something like that.

A touch of freshness.

That's true, yes.

But I don't have any grated orange.

Haven't you?
But you have orange.

Is that an organic orange?
Ah, no, it's a mandarine.

I don't know where they came from.

Do you perceive BDSM as wellness?

Well... those were your words.

Sure, you could see it like that

I mean that always
depends on the approach.

If you only do it for fun
then it's a kind of wellness.

But that's not
necessarily a bad thing.

I'm not...

Everything doesn't
always have to...

...have a medicinal purpose.

I just think things that are
fun are inherently healthy.

For me BDSM was also...

...a way for me look
more closely at violence.

What is it really?

How does it feel?
What actually happens?

Radically speaking,
SM is violence.

Actually one can say it
is violence in the sense-

- that something really is
destroyed to some extent.

If I whip someone and then their
skin is red with a few red welts-

- even if it is just a couple
of bruises or a couple...

...the circulation is stimulated-

- at any rate there is a
physical modification.

And you can of course-

- see that as violence
objectively speaking.

But you can do that
with a tattoo as well.

And you can do that with
a breast enlargement.

After all someone
cuts open your chest-

- and stuffs two plastic
sacks full of silicon in there.

That sounds quite violent.

Er...

That I can do something meaningful
with pent-up anger or aggression...

...is of course a really astonishing
and trans-formative experience.

It is more, I would say an
achievement of civilization-

- doing that in a controlled setting.

SM is an extremely
positive process in principle-

- really a playground for adults-

- where they have the chance-

- to look more closely at
their own violent impulses.

So we keep that as
the title for the piece?

Yes.

Unknown theme?

- Music, then stop
- No.

Beginning.

The beginning...

...the paper come in then chat,
and laugh. - Yeah, yeah.

Maybe it's better if we do have
music from the beginning then-

- because it creates space.

I cannot just start moving.

You start moving
and they'll shut up.

Cause when I come,
you'll be somewhere dressed.

- And I come and it's there.
- Yeah. Yeah.

Wait there.

Until you cannot breathe anymore.

OK.

Do you see any problem?

Everything is flatting out.

But it's not a problem when
you are making the rope.

If needed, you untwist a bit-

- and you actually even cut by hand.

I am really happy.

This roll is actually wonderful.

We just have less possibilities.

And then everything flows
into this grotesque dance...

And now down on all fours...

- On all fours?
- Yes.

There!

Very nice.

Some time ago I
vaguely had in mind-

- that I would like to
have a whipping session.

And... er...

I'm supposed to thrash you.

Basically, yes.

- With whips.
- Yes.

- With expensive whips!
- With expensive whips?

Yeah.

Okay, yes.

A short while ago,
a few weeks ago...

...this image in my mind
became even more clearly.

We had said,
we don't want to plan it...

...but now I think we should,
because...

...I can imagine it
really well as a ritual...

I have the feeling...

...that was in a moment,
when...

...I suddenly had a clear
thought, feeling, that...

...I will be a grown woman
by the middle of the year.

Okay.
And it is supposed to be a kind of...

Seal.

Test.

Not a test but part of this transition.

OK.

And...

...I must admit that on one
hand I find it a bit daunting-

- because I know that
you are experienced-

- and that you know how to handle it.

On the other hand I know
you have a lot of strength-

- and then I think oh dear...

What do I get for it?

Er, fun!

- Me? - Yes, you said you
enjoy that kind of thing.

I enjoy it when I don't
have to work so hard-

- when I show the whip
and the other person...

...that's when I enjoy it most.

I have the most fun with the...

...innocent victim,
who is so scared-

- that you don't have to do much,
but something already happened.

- Yes, but I'm not scared.
- Exactly.

Someone as hard-boiled and tough
as you who knows very well-

- that the more you take,
the stronger you become...

...I have to watch
out more for myself.

- Yes, but...
- ...that I am not completely sucked dry.

Let's not get overdramatic!

Okay...

There was once a lamb.

The lamb was mostly moist-

- and asked itself then when-

- what on earth should I do now.

There was once a sheep-

- the sheep was mostly good-

- but it still asked itself why-

- am I really so happy.

Actually not happy.

There was once...
why always so negative?

It is good and asks
itself why it isn't happy.

Then we have a starting
point for a story.

If it's happy, it's boring.

- You are of course right. As always.
- You need a conflict.

- There was once a horse...
- Not negative.

...that had... that worked
as a computer nerd.

- There was nothing wrong
with the horse. - I see.

There was once a horse,
there was nothing wrong with it.

There was once a horse...

When people ask me
what the "Schwelle" is

I often say,
it is a school of wizardry.

That comes from this
principle of magic-

- that I feel such an
affinity to from theater.

Magic happens when people are free
to express themselves creatively.

And as I stage this all
here as a choreography-

- I try to create this magic.

I live here and I perform here.

In the "Schwelle" the family
has been successful-

- as a structural model.

That means I sometimes
play the daddy or mummy-

- which allows people to be children.

And in the same way it
allows me to be emotional-

- by sometimes being a
dictatorial daddy perhaps-

- or a wretched,
miserable mother-

- and I trust that people
will adjust flexibly.

And everyone gets
something from it.

I can tell the children what to do,
but they get something for it.

And in the end what
they get for it, is simply...

...a kind of guidance,
a kind of leadership-

- and leadership in fact
means nothing more than-

- a motivation to take
matters into their own hands-

- because someone simply does that.

And that is motivating
and that is enough.

It doesn't even really
have to be meaningful-

- but this assertion,
that there is a choice.

Someone must be there
who claims there is a choice.

Someone must be there who
claims there are possibilities-

- that there are changes,
improvements, that there is beauty.

And I make that assertion.

And of course that is a game,
it is a performance.

And so that is this interactive
performance "Schwelle".

And the deeper you come in-

- the deeper you will
experience me in situations-

- where I am not in the
role of daddy or mummy-

- but in other roles.

In the role of the child,
the role of the girl...

...girl Friday-in my role...

...in the role of the victim.

I have built up a
little paradise here-

- and I feel like the king.

You got lips here.

Yeah.

Here.

Now as you can see,
my clit is actually quite big.

Yeah.

So, the way I would have
it treated is different-

- to how... say someone who has the clit
this more buried would have it treated.

And all we see here is
the hole here and labium.

And all we see I have got
quite big... like forth skin here.

Other option is to do...
from behind if you like any pleasure.

Very nice.

If I sit like this, do you need
released and breathe if you need?

Alright.

Stop it.
Stay where you are.

Just feel it when you do it.

Don't move.

Don't move.

Don't move.

- Don't move. - Lick between
the inner lip and the outer lip.

Left side.
Left side.

Yeah on the sides-

- and the...
- Yes, slowly.

- Tip it. Tip it.
- Yeah.

Are you ready to leave
that and see it again?

Wait.

Are you ready?
One minute to bring it to the clients.

And rinse again please,
you can give me the glasses.

It's like this: You have receding
gums on several teeth.

I recommend you come
for cleaning regularly,

- every six months, and a
toothpaste for sensitive teeth.

There are various ones,
Elmex, Sensodyne...

- Do you use a special toothpaste or...?
- Yes, I have one that is...

...a mix out of coconut oil and salt.
Homemade.

- Okay.
- My girlfriend makes it. It's good.

- I'm late, sorry.
- Hello.

I thought, if it is about hair-

- then it is sure to
take much longer.

Did you tidy your
room up especially?

- Set one of these things up before?
- Yes.

But I can do it as well.

The original idea was-

- a book about my...

...experience with...

- ...my experience as a sex worker.
- Okay.

"He presses my torso down
so that my ass lifts upwards."

"I love showing my ass."

"My anus opens,
then instantly withdraws inwards-

- and the lining of my
cunt gets ready to open."

"I can feel even the
warmest drafts of air-

- cooling between my legs."

"I let myself be fucked
until I hear my friend say:"

"That can no longer
be morally justified."

"And I enjoy the pressure and the
strength that spreads through my body."

"You're a dirty bitch, am I right?"

"Something in me
struggles to affirm this."

"Yet this cliché-ridden sentence-

- perfectly personified in this moment-

- titivates my pride
and also my shame."

"It is not the money that
makes me do this job."

"Or better said: Not exclusively."

"As a submissive escort my task is-

- to serve numerous
men for good money."

"Yet the recognition of
the other is priceless-

- and the understanding
of my desire-

- while still staying
in touch with oneself."

"As the subordinate it is not
my job to control the game."

"And yet it is up to me-

- whether or not the paid hours
are satisfying or even enriching."

"And so the client himself remains
a surface for my projections."

"At best the client fulfills the
desire for natural dominance."

"My boundaries run deep-

- but I am not dreaming."

"And the day leaves incarnate traces
that the mind is not able to interpret."

"Beauty is not always in
the eye of the beholder-

- but much more in the allegory
generated by the mind."

"Is the body
overrated or underrated?"

"I this way I enter into the moment
allowing things to happen."

This could interest a lot of people...

Maybe...

And even back then
in my cultural work-

- sometimes with topics
like creative sustainability-

- it was sometimes hard to
communicate what I actually do-

- and it is getting more
and more difficult.

For most people it isn't comprehensible
purely as an experience.

- Your family don't know?
- No...

- No, I often think about telling them.
- Yeah.

But it's a quite delicate.

It's a one-way street.

Okay...

Excuse me...

Yes!

Do you speak English?

Are you friend of Mare?

Yes.

- And you?
- I am Felix.

Sit down.

Alright, you just feel.

If that is uncomfortable,

- and you can observe
yourself in your discomfort.

And understand where it comes from.

Because what you see
somehow is disturbing you...

Some things are welcoming you.

Which is negative.

While the scene is positive
because we want it, you know.

We decide it just to experiment.

But the image is strong because
we go something strong.

And then you might forget...
that it's a game somehow.

You know, and your body just
put the images as you see.

And you might just
react and project on it.

Just try to be not judgmental.

Just whatever comes
up for you, it's yours.

That's it.

Okay, understand.

Okay.

Can you move the ladder
to the cloakroom?

They are dancing feelings.

They are dancing.

What's interesting is also you never know
in which end they going to bite from.

- Because they can bite from both ends?
- No

But you just can't see it you know.

We are going to start with one.

- And I am going to put just a...
- That's good.

Do you have some
place where you feel?

Now we are just gonna...

...to physically
wait it decides to bite.

Maybe you will feel it also.

A bit.

It's just coming down to
your skin and it's a bit cold.

I was surprised not
to hear from you.

After we met last time.

When did we meet last time?
I assume with Mika?

The night of her birthday?

Last time I think so.

- Is that a question? - Yeah, it's a question.
- Are you asking seriously?

- Or you're just playing.
- No, I am not playing.

I am just trying to remember and then
the last thing popped up was that night.

- I suppose to ask.
- No, you got good memory.

I'm just...

...getting old.

How old are you?

55

Yes, that was what I was referring to

And by the way it surprised?
Or... it surprised a little?

It surprised me that I
didn't hear from you.

♪ You're wrong you're wrong now ♪

♪ That the mind comes to rest ♪

♪ They never told you ♪

♪ Quiet words to expect ♪

♪ It's all a game now ♪

♪ And hear me ♪

♪ We just met ♪

My thesis.

It was a small...
my first overview-

- of my work areas and the themes-

- and how it fitted together and how...

...the work could be implemented.

（IMPULSE）

（FREEDOM）

（INTUITION）

（PAIN）

A masterpiece of
Asiatic wood carving.

- A bit dusty...
- Mara, stop talking, come on!

You must always have time
for the beautiful things in life.

He's missing a leg.

He's missing...

Hold on. Stay.
You got to stay still.

Hold on.
Up there though.

I want...

Understand your fear.

- Hello!
- Hello...

- I'm Mara.
- Nice to meet you.

...it worked!
Want to come in?

We have the room to ourselves.

We're 5 South Tyroleans
living in Berlin, and...

...one day we had the idea for-

- a culture and society magazine.

...our third issue main feature is-

- "Power and Powerlessness"-

- interesting because in feminism there
are different stances towards BDSM.

Female masochism is the collaboration
with patriarchal structures...

How would you oppose it-

- because it's a pretty
hefty accusation?

As long as I am scared of
this power, I am at its mercy.

I want to explore my sexuality-

- live my sexuality-

- not just with one partner-

- but whenever,
wherever and however I want.

In general, those who haven't engaged
with the subject can presume-

- that someone who is
submissive in a BDSM session-

- is also submissive in their daily life.

I am nowhere near-

- forming any opinions about
whether it is right or wrong.

Even if someone is
submissive in their daily life-

- what's so wrong with that?

Well, first of all.

Because I think-

- that is the crux of
the matter for me-

- the people who are always on the
outside looking in and criticizing it.

Where I always say:

Look at your own behavior.

And I think a so-called
normal relationship-

- is shaped much more by
underlying power dynamics-

- than a BDSM relationship,
where it's clear what happens.

It's not about
understanding everything.

And I would never say
that BSDM is without risk.

Just...

...I'd say that life is
not without its risks.

Maybe instead of totally latex-

- or combining latex with something.

Should I look at camera?

Chris.

And you feel your breath.

Drop in through your
body into your pelvis.

You just breathe in.

Maybe close your
eyes for a moment.

Just breathe.

Yes, it is a cocks'
stimulation, it's poof!

You are going to wave so...
kind of orgasm you know.

It's really blowing.

And even if you don't move.

Just by holding...

...and so I feel almost nothing.

OK. Yeah, it's a little
bit finger in my ass-

- but... that's it.

And then suddenly
it came like a wave.

And it's all the body.

It put me in kind of arch.
Like that.

OK, good.

Good work.

Thank you.

Cross...

Fire...

Flames...

Imagine your hands are flames...

Probably on the 22 December-

- we'll have to have an audition
because we need two more dancers-

- it's actually really bloody late,
because we need good people-

- who should have
time for six months.

I don't want you to travel so much.

Well that's what I'd
kind of been wishing for.

You know, someone comes and says:
Here's the money, get on with it.

It's about introducing BSDM in a
mainstream way to a wide audience.

- And that's exactly the theme you had...
- Yes!

...when I was thrown out
of the art scene, exactly.

...and now I'm coming
from an angle, that...

...doesn't take place in the
art scene but in entertainment.

- But with the same theme?
- But with the same theme.

And you find that satisfying?
How come?

Have things progressed so
much in 10 years, or what?

Of course things have developed.
It has a very different...

Well, I'd perform old
pieces of mine again now.

That would be interesting too.
I think most of them were too early.

Actually you started "Schwelle",
because you didn't want to travel any more.

Well... a number of
things came together...

Firstly, my subsidies were gone.

And then I noticed that the
work I wanted to present-

- encountered difficulties
in the theater scene.

You know, nobody says:
Here's my theater-

- you can live in it,
and the audience can live there-

- and you can prepare food,
you can cook and sleep-

- and create your own society.

The theater of intimacy.

And how far should certain...

...how much should
the intimate space-

- and also the body,
be a part of the stage-

- a part of...

...available for public interaction.

This is an important theme,
because it is very political-

- because it has social consequences.
Intimacy is something-

- that exists between couples
and predominantly in society.

And the principle of
the public domain-

- is always linked to certain restrictions
of behavior and expression.

Of course we are in Berlin where
individual expression is relatively...

...relatively broad.

Here you can walk the
streets how you want.

It's relatively tolerant,
depending on the district...

Yes, there are a few rules that
I think are good and I enjoy.

I would like it if not everyone,
can express themselves as they want.

Of course it is important too.

But there has to be places,
where one can express oneself.

Free and...

...It's not just about being
free but also more honest.

I want us to continue living
out our relationship normally.

- The world's most normal relationship.
- Totally normal!

- And we live it as totally normal.
- Keep it up.

Happy anniversary.

Thank you.

So we don't need to
worry about "Schwelle"?

No, but "Schwelle" will
continue to develop...

- You know, last week... did I tell
you about the wheelchair?　-No.

At the last...
at the last workshop we...

There was a random game.

Imagine you are 85
and still at "Schwelle"...

And they wheeled me around...

...and then I was in the scene
and I was a nasty old man.

And then so: Yeah...

...don't be so feeble,
hit a bit harder!

I was totally on this trip
and it was kind of funny-

- it was fun in a way,
but also a bit of a horror tip.

Oh God, maybe it'll really
look like that in 30 years.

You know, that I'll still
be hanging out here...

...an old fart being
wheeled around and...

...Is there a nicer
perspective for old age?

I mean other than eternal youth,
but if you have to get old...

- Yeah, sure, somehow
- Then here at 'Schwelle'.

I then tried to spank someone,
but my hand was shaking...

Get out of this holy hall!

Somebody has to
be untalented here.

- Somebody has to have that role.
- I'll take it.

No you won't.

It's my job.

You're the normality representative.

The untalented
normality representative.

Dirty old man...

Dirty old man...

Tryin' to get laid...
While you still can...

While you still can...

For me it was always...
a fundamental question is-

- am I...
even allowed to be here?

Am I even... have I the right?

Do I have permission to exist?

I have to make myself
useful just so I can be here.

And so I've always
been extremely active.

I've always made and produced a lot.

But now I notice...
now... now...

...I'm getting older and then one
thinks more about death sometimes-

- and no longer existing...

And I notice that I find that difficult.

♪ Pretty girl inside, ♪
♪ she loves you ♪

♪ But her mother thinks it's bad ♪

I always feel I
haven't done enough.

I have to do a lot more.

Well, it must be painful...

...also to know that it
doesn't go on forever.

That all this will be over sometime.

Because there is so much more to
discover and experiment with.

Wait, I've lost my...

Where do they come from...

...these thoughts,
that you have to...

...that you need
permission to be here?

Not on my bladder!

- Not on your bladder?
- No...

With your breath-

- and your consciousness-

- you focus just on this
little spot of the touch-

- fully focus on this little spot-

- and at the same time,
you expand your consciousness-

- and your awareness
into your full body and-

- follow the sensations
into your body.

Thank you

"Schwelle 7 art products".

Well, for example there's
the partner toilet.

Partner toilet?
- I wanted to build a toilet with 2 seats.

So you can crap together.

You know, with a double seat,
it looks like this...

You know, with a bowl and you lift it up...

...normal needs, like husband,
child, house in the country

that thought never crosses your mind?

No, I don't think that's very compatible
with my life.

That doesn't mean you can't have that wish.

No, I don't have that wish.

And especially what is
related to these wishes.

Love...

...a future together... security...

...none of these wishes appeal to me.

Well the way you present
yourself as a sexual woman-

- everything under control,
knowing you get what you want...

Everything under control?
That's not true.

What's more fascinating is-

- that it's sometimes not easy-

- becoming aware of one's
own dynamic, patterns-

- and one's own sexuality-

- that doesn't initially make it easier.

And that doesn't mean-

- that in my relationships
or my sexuality-

- everything is as I wish.

Actually it should be something open.

Well right now I am preoccupied with...

shall we say 'opening oneself' to...

experimenting, in every sense.

Mental as well as...

mental, emotional, anal...

oral...

everything with an 'al' at the end...

opening up and letting things in.

Surrounding myself.

And that is the biggest challenge

also to allow myself to change.

Do you have a certain image
of the "Schwelle" in the future?

Short term? Long term?

I don't know, that's hard,
my lease has just been terminated.

So I have to think about it.
Actually it's very concrete now.

What will change...

If something changes
if I don't fight here...

For when?

I have a one-year period of notice.

We'll see.

Was there a reason?

Well, the reasons are a little unclear.

I'll have to see first.

The lack of submission, I guess.

So... careful!

I had 10 of those boxes...

an old stage set.

"Violently Happy"