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1
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,040
You know, I do, I do want to get better.
2
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:13,760
So, you‐you'll be starting tomorrow,
but the father wants to meet you first.
3
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:14,920
Hi.
Hi.
4
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:17,920
It's actually my, uh, son that‐‐
who needs tutoring.
5
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:19,040
Hello, Etienne.
6
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:20,560
RICHARD:
His mother died recently.
7
00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:22,240
What about you and children, Vish?
8
00:00:22,240 --> 00:00:24,280
I want what Shona wants.
9
00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:27,040
I want to set up a kind of
client networking event.
10
00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,080
What would you want me to do?
Just set it up with me.
11
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:30,680
Change the world, baby.
Okay!
12
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:33,240
Can't a woman not bake a cake
for a gentleman friend?
13
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,000
VISH:
I love you, Shona,
14
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,000
and I would like for the two of us
to spend our lives together.
15
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,120
AINE: Hey, do you wanna...
do you wanna hear a joke?
16
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,520
How many therapists does it take
to change a light bulb?
17
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:49,320
One. But the light bulb
has to really want to change.
18
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:50,840
THERAPIST:
Hmm.
19
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,440
SHONA:
[sighs] I'm already relaxed.
20
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:56,520
Do you want some water?
21
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,160
This is actually not as hot
as the reviews say. It's quite nice.
22
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,320
Yeah.
Lovely.
23
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,320
My hairdresser said
it cleared up her acne
24
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:04,880
for a week.
Oh, my God. Brilliant.
25
00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,400
It's a bit like, um, a confession booth,
but less creepy.
26
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,080
Yeah.
"Give us all your
bad thoughts there now,
27
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,960
and I'll look after them for ya."
[laughs]
28
00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:13,760
I suppose that's what therapy is, really.
29
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,800
Oh, my God. Priests were the original
free therapists for people.
30
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,320
Oh, people. God love people.
31
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:20,600
God love people.
Oh, I meant to tell you.
32
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,920
Thinking about getting a fringe.
What? Why? You okay?
33
00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:24,160
Are you unhappy about moving in?
34
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:25,920
Aine, we're getting married
in two months.
35
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:29,040
Don't be stupid.
Okay, and you're happy?
36
00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,520
Why're you asking me that?
37
00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,240
Yes, I'm happy!
38
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,480
Just fancy the fringe.
39
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:36,880
[exhales]
40
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,760
I was actually just thinking
how lucky I am
41
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,480
to be with Vish.
Oh.
42
00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:43,280
Yeah, and moving in proves‐‐
43
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,480
Proves what to who? Judge Judy?
44
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,880
I didn't say proves. I‐‐
You did!
45
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,640
I meant "shows." Like...
46
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,560
you know, you have to show,
in, in life, and‐‐
47
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,040
Can you stop interrupting me?
You interrupt me all the time.
48
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,160
Shut up. You have to show in life,
49
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,840
if you're, you know,
if you're either in or you're out,
50
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:03,120
and I'm, I'm out. In. I'm in.
51
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,360
I'm in.
52
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,400
[gasps] Do I get keys for Vish's?
53
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,000
Huh, yeah. 'Course.
I mean, it's his house, but‐‐
54
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,280
Yeah, I mean, it's your home, too.
Oh, did he say that?
55
00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:14,440
Yeah.
Oh.
56
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,760
Well, no, but that's what he thinks.
57
00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:19,560
I mean, I'll hardly be there,
'cause it's so far out of London.
58
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,960
It's 20 minutes on the Overground.
59
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:26,200
And there's heated flooring.
[sighs] Twenty minutes.
60
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,040
God, that'll take me ages.
[laughs]
61
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,200
Do you really need help
packing tomorrow?
62
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,520
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
63
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,560
I literally do everything for you.
64
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,120
AINE: Oh, God, I was joking.
SHONA: You only have to ask‐‐
65
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,480
AINE: And I've got my big date
with Richard tomorrow, so‐‐
SHONA: Oh, God.
66
00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,040
Mmm‐‐
No, I don't want your opinion.
67
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:41,880
I'm really excited about it.
So don't. Shut up.
68
00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:46,080
Ooh.
[sighs] I can feel it now. It's‐‐
69
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:47,680
Yeah. It's just a little hot.
Hot.
70
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,080
It's grand though. It's nice.
Yeah. Yeah.
71
00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:51,520
AINE:
God, I look like a fuckin' pig.
72
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:55,000
Ugh.
Just keep your face
up to the lights.
73
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,440
It's antibacterial.
Oh, yeah.
74
00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:00,320
SHONA:
I hate my skin. It's disgusting.
75
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:01,680
I wish we were Spanish.
76
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,720
Ow!
Oh, sorry. My toe
just went in your gash.
77
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,560
Oh, God.
Sorry. Hang on.
78
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:07,760
Oh, pfft.
79
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,640
BOTH: Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
80
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,920
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
81
00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:14,200
Hail Mary, mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
82
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:15,720
Okay. That's the time.
Time.
83
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,720
[Shona slurps]
AINE: Oh, my God. You slurp so loudly.
84
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,240
Just look‐look how quietly I can drink.
Shh!
85
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:24,040
You see?
86
00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:26,480
Oh... Oh...
87
00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:29,800
It's like some kind of Nazi experiment.
88
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,840
Just keep going.
[Aine groans]
89
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,960
SHONA: Give it to me now. Give it to me.
[groans, gulps]
90
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:37,800
Give it to me!
91
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,960
[laughs, sighs]
92
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,480
Just one minute left.
93
00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:47,960
I'm dying. Aine.
What?
94
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:53,400
Aah! Aah. Shona. [cries]
95
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,120
Oh! Oh, God.
Oh, thank fuck for that.
96
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,840
[both groaning]
97
00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,120
Open the‐‐
98
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,640
Oh!
♪ pop music playing ♪
99
00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:04,280
AINE: You don't understand.
It is not weird
100
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,760
I am going to say goodbye to Etienne
at the station, Shona.
101
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,440
Can you just go easy on that?
102
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,920
It's forty quid a bottle.
Please, sir, can I have some more?
103
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:13,960
It's cooling my face,
and we look like a pair of clowns.
104
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,680
And anyways, he asked me
to go to the station to say goodbye.
105
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,000
It's the first time he's going back
to France since his mother died,
106
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,320
so I'm actually being a good person.
107
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,080
Oh, such a good person
you're gonna sleep with his dad
108
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,320
as soon as he gets on the train.
No.
109
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,400
Going to at least wait until
he crosses over into France. Ha, ha.
110
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,160
Can you just dab it lightly?
111
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,720
I'm dabbing lightly.
112
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,680
You know what? It'd be nice to be in bed
113
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:38,680
with someone at night other than my
pile of shit boyfriend.
114
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,720
What pile of shit boyfriend? Freddie?
115
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,560
No. Freddie. No.
Just, like, the pile of shit.
116
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:45,400
There's a pile of shit
on the other side of my bed.
117
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,840
Like a laptop, hairbrushes,
a belt. I don't know.
118
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:51,160
And it's all rolled like a sausage roll,
119
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,240
into the place where a person should be.
120
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:56,000
And I actually...
I actually can't take it anymore.
121
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,000
Just clear it off your bed.
122
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,600
It'd be nice to have a reason
to clear it off.
123
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,560
It's not that easy.
Oh. I just hate sad men,
124
00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,920
using their sadness,
like their dead wives.
125
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,000
She wasn't his wife. She was the woman
that he got pregnant...
To manipulate women.
126
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,920
that he barely spoke to‐‐
You know, we all fall for it.
Men love young models.
127
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:14,480
Women love old, sad men. It's so stupid.
128
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,040
Thank you for calling me a young model.
129
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:18,760
Look at my nose.
Look at my actual whole face.
130
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:22,240
Okay, I gotta go.
Ooh! Me, too. Yes, okay. Um...
131
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,640
Thanks for the sauna. I love you. Bye!
Love you.
132
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,400
You!
133
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,600
♪ funk music playing ♪
134
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:32,280
Whoo!
135
00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:33,400
Hi!
136
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,200
Did you burn your face?
RICHARD: Did you run here?
137
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,200
Oh, no. It's... Oh, no. I, um,
138
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,680
no, I was in a sauna with my sister.
139
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:42,400
Which is not half as, um,
"hot sisters" as it sounds.
140
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:46,320
So... [laughs]
Oh. That's okay.
I'm, uh, more into cousins.
141
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,400
Um... [clears throat]
Désolé, uh, this is Aine.
142
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,280
This is Roman, who is, uh,
Etienne's chaperone for the trip.
Bonjour, ma'am.
143
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,720
Désolé. Get Rosetta Stone over here.
144
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,120
[laughs] Um, and,
145
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:57,760
please look after him.
He's very precious to us.
146
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,120
I'm not a baby.
I can have gone on my own.
147
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:03,120
But then you would have
looked like a sad little Harry Potter
148
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,800
on the train on your own.
So... [laughs]
149
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,480
Well, you want to say goodbye
to your parents?
150
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:08,360
Oh, I'm, I'm not his‐‐
RICHARD: She's not‐‐
151
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,960
[speaking French]
152
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,720
Oh, désolé.
153
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:15,320
Yes. So, um...
154
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:18,000
A‐and also I'm... [speaks French].
Too young.
155
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,280
It would have been one of those
town scandal pregnancies, you know?
156
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,040
Right. Does that make me old?
157
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,960
Aged, Richard.
Oh, okay.
158
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:26,400
More like a chee‐like a cheddar.
159
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:27,520
You know, like an aged cheddar.
Oh.
160
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,680
I was really hoping you were gonna say
a nice bottle of wine.
161
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,520
[Aine laughs]
Guys,
162
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:32,560
le train.
163
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,320
Sorry. Sorry. Um...
[Richard clears throat]
164
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,080
Bye, Dad.
165
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,600
Okay. Bye.
166
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:38,920
Uh, yeah.
167
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,400
Okay. Good.
168
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,320
Oh! Um... [chuckles]
169
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,040
Aw. [chuckles]
170
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:50,600
[Etienne speaking French]
171
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:52,400
AINE:
Bye! Bye!
172
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,880
RICHARD: Bye. Bye‐bye.
AINE: Bye, guys. Bye, Etienne!
173
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,760
Bye.
Bye!
174
00:06:57,760 --> 00:06:59,440
Bye, Etienne!
175
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:00,880
Bye!
176
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:06,240
I feel like we're, um, actors
in a 1970s studio sitcom.
177
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:09,360
[laughs]
'Cause we have to wave
over the credits till it ends.
178
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,080
Bye! [chuckles]
179
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:12,880
Production designer. Costume.
180
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,600
Uh, bye! [laughs] Are you okay?
Ugh.
181
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,640
[chattering, laughing]
182
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,880
Ugh.
[both laughing]
183
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:27,280
Oh, he's, uh‐Where's he gone?
Oh!
184
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,960
Is he‐‐
RICHARD: Is he definitely‐‐
185
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,200
I think he is.
186
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,240
Okay, um...
187
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,080
Yep, maybe if we, uh...
188
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,440
AINE:
Hmm.
189
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:43,760
I have to go to work.
190
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,360
I really, I'm running late.
I know, I know. I know.
191
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:46,760
I will, um‐Okay.
Okay.
192
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,200
I will see you tomorrow night.
Yes.
193
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,080
I'm cooking. So, um...
Blech.
194
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,640
Get excited.
[laughs]
195
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:53,600
Okay.
Okay.
196
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:54,640
Bye. Bye‐bye‐bye.
Okay. Bye!
197
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:55,920
BOTH:
Bye! Bye!
198
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,720
SHONA:
Morning, Judy.
199
00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:03,160
Do you have...
Thank you.
200
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,000
Have you been drinking?
What?
201
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,960
Oh, no. I was, um, at a sauna for lunch.
202
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,720
Whoo. Eating lunch in a sauna.
203
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:14,720
No.
204
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,400
No, I wasn't‐‐
[groans]
205
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,000
[phone ringing]
206
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:25,640
Thanks so much,
but I can't actually make that date,
207
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,080
as much as I'd love to celebrate
your big day.
208
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,320
SHONA: Oh, shit. I don't know why that‐‐
Delighted to be invited, though.
209
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,120
I‐Oh, fuck.
210
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,800
♪
211
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,520
ANNOUNCER [on TV]:
Maura and Tom have hit it off,
so I'm calling them "Mom."
212
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,800
And can I just say wasn't it nice
earlier watching "Mom"
213
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,560
get a bit of tongue action?
[phone vibrates]
214
00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:51,600
Oh, God, that's certainly wrong.
215
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,600
WOMAN [on TV]: How are you?
MAN [on TV]: Good.
216
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,400
I feel like we've moved on a bit. Yeah?
217
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,680
[phone bloops]
It's nice that I feel comfortable
218
00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:00,400
doing this now.
WOMAN [on TV]: I know.
219
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,280
[chattering over TV]
[phone vibrates]
220
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:06,440
[chatter, laughter continues on TV]
221
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,840
WOMAN [on TV]:
You know, I think the confidence
is coming out a bit.
222
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,520
Well, not a bit, actually. A lot.
[phone bloops]
223
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,200
Which is really, really good,
because obviously,
224
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,480
I like a confident man.
225
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,320
Things are going really well.
226
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:22,760
♪
227
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,040
[distant passionate moaning]
[rhythmic creaking]
228
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,560
[Aine groans]
229
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,920
[moaning continues]
230
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,400
Oh, come on, mate.
231
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,640
[sighs, groans]
232
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,120
[distant moaning continues]
233
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,000
VISH:
No, of course. It's your home now, too.
234
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,240
But just, the stuff that
gets nailed, maybe...
235
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,680
we can just discuss what goes where,
236
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,280
when I get back?
237
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:57,120
Yeah, no, of course. I mean,
it's just obvious this was perfect here.
238
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:58,760
But, you know, anything else,
239
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,080
like big structural changes,
I‐I'll check with you.
240
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,880
Um... [chuckles]
241
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,720
[laughs] I'm joking, you idiot.
242
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:07,320
[laughs] Okay.
243
00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,760
Fuck off! Oh, my God.
244
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:18,280
SHONA: [sighs]
Oh, yeah. Listen, just quickly,
245
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:21,840
um, did you send, um, save the dates?
246
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,440
Yeah. I mean, I didn't send one to Aine
247
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,000
because I thought it'd be a waste of post.
248
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:29,120
Oh, not that. It's just, um,
some people at work, uh, got one.
249
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,880
People? I just sent one to Charlotte.
She's on your list. Right?
250
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,920
Yeah, I just thought keep numbers
to friends and family,
251
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,240
and, and maybe that and,
and stuff like that
252
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:40,240
we can also do together.
253
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,200
Yeah. Course. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Yeah.
254
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,640
Don't say sorry.
[knocking]
255
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:47,640
Oh. Door.
256
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:50,720
[gasps]
257
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,560
[dramatically]:
I have traveled land and sea,
258
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:56,960
across the Serengeti just to be here,
but here I am.
259
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,400
It's far, isn't it?
[normal voice]: So far.
260
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,280
VISH [over computer]:
Okay, it's not that far.
Oh, my God.
261
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,920
VISH [over computer]:
And, and shoes. I got,
I got slippers by the bench.
262
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,440
You even got your creepy
little robot butler.
263
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,680
[laughs] Don't put on Vish's
moccasins, though,
264
00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:10,840
'cause they make my vagina
[sucking sound].
265
00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:14,400
Blech.
VISH [over computer]: Those moccasins
were my grandmother's, thank you.
266
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,120
[gasps] Ooh!
[laughs]
267
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,360
Heated floor! [gasps]
It's nuts, isn't it?
268
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,680
Oh, and look. Look at this.
[gasps] Heated floors!
269
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,360
Oh, oh, yes!
270
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:25,280
Oh, yeah!
271
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:26,880
VISH [over computer]:
It's like you've never been warm before.
272
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,520
Aah‐ha‐ha‐ha!
Right?
273
00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:30,960
Yes!
It's great when you've got your period
274
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,560
'cause then the whole floor's like
a hot water bottle.
275
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:34,000
Oh, lovely.
It's so lovely.
276
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,040
Oh, my God. We can make heat angels.
277
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,120
Look!
[both laugh]
278
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:39,320
VISH [over computer]:
Heated floors, baby!
279
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,360
See, this is why it's worth moving out.
280
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,880
Oh, no, it's just too far.
It's not worth moving for that alone.
281
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:45,960
It's too far.
It's so far out.
282
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,880
Oh, my God.
283
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,640
Is that your motherfucking garden?
284
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:52,080
SHONA: Yeah.
AINE: Oh!
285
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:55,240
It's motherfucking massive.
Whoo!
286
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,240
SHONA: So, come here, can I just put
everything where I think it should go?
287
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:02,360
Yeah, I mean, uh, most of it
just go‐goes in the cupboards, really.
288
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:06,360
Yeah, but I meant more like,
you know, like, display items.
289
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:07,640
Like‐[laughs]
290
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,720
VISH [over computer]: Like what?
Like, um,
291
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:12,360
like, I think I should leave out
the egg duck.
292
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,400
'Cause then it's just really
easy to access eggs,
293
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,120
you know, 'cause they're just‐‐
Mmm!
294
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,040
They're in the duck. See?
295
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,400
[Aine groaning over phone]
296
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,920
Oh, my God, it's Baltic. My nips.
297
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:26,280
Hey, babe, show her the, uh,
little baby me.
298
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,960
Oh, yeah! Oh, my God.
299
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,880
Oh, I knew you wanted
babies really, Vish.
300
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,560
[Shona laughing]
Oh, my God!
301
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,080
It's like a war crime.
302
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,800
What are you gonna do with that?
Aw.
303
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,160
I'm gonna snuggle.
[both laugh]
304
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:41,600
Or I might open up
the stitching at the back and‐‐
305
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:42,960
[laughs]
306
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,600
Oh, Vish. [groans]
307
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,080
Oh, brother, no. Please, brother!
[Shona laughing]
308
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,640
[laughs]
309
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,360
It's so handy he's got two faces.
Oh, yeah.
310
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,120
'Cause he can do you.
Yeah.
311
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,320
Cunnilingi me. Ana‐lingi you!
312
00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,000
[Aine and Vish laughing]
313
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,480
Wish I was there. Strangely.
314
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,160
Well, I'm all cleaned out.
Thank you very much.
315
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,280
How much more have you got left, Shona?
316
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:09,960
SHONA:
Why? What time is your date?
317
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,240
AINE: Eight o'clock.
It's going to take me ages to get back.
318
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:16,160
[sighs] God. Hey, can I have that, um,
319
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,200
egg duck, if it doesn't stay at the house?
320
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,200
No. Granny gave it to me. It's mine.
321
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,560
Yeah, but it looks stupid here.
322
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,720
It doesn't look stupid. You're stupid.
323
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,120
What?
And you picked the Spanish tin.
324
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:29,560
I know, but‐‐
God, why did I pick the Spanish tin?
325
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,480
Just like, listen, okay?
326
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,800
You're essentially planning on
sleeping with your boss tonight.
327
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,160
Which isn't great as a plan.
[groans]
328
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,360
I mean, what would your therapist say?
329
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,760
My therapist has already said,
in no uncertain medical terms,
330
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,360
"Well, bitch, you go, girl.
You catch yourself some sweet D tonight.
331
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,920
'Cause honey, life is short,
and you are fabulous."
332
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:51,920
That's what she said.
I was being serious, but...
333
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,240
you're obviously dying to go,
so just‐‐
334
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,160
Shona.
335
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,360
God, you know what?
336
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,520
Sometimes you can just go
so long without being touched.
337
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,760
Just go on an app, Aine.
338
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,400
Yeah. I'll just go on an app and say,
339
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:08,480
"Hey, guys. I'm lonely. Touch me."
And see where that gets me.
340
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,120
I really like him, Shona.
341
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:13,000
You know, sometimes you talk like
you're the only one
342
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,240
who's ever sad. It's annoying.
343
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,200
Are you all right?
344
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,000
You said you wanted to get
a fringe earlier, and it worried me.
345
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,000
What? I'm fine. Shut up.
346
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,800
Oh, hello, your old bodhráin.
347
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,800
Excusez moi.
348
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,760
[laughs]
349
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,640
Oh, my God. Has there ever been
a better idea
350
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:40,840
than we were gonna call our band
"The Corrs‐Lite?"
351
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:41,760
[Shona laughs]
352
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,960
Yeah, but that was one of those,
"You'd never live up to the name" ideas.
353
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,480
[drumming]
That's a horrible sound.
354
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,000
[indistinct muttering]
355
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,280
[drumming]
356
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,720
[Aine humming]
357
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,600
[drumming continues]
God, you genuinely are so good at that.
358
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,000
Yeah, I know.
359
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,840
[drumming continues]
360
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:08,080
♪ Oh, Ireland, oh, Ireland,
you've taken away ♪
361
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:11,080
♪ The pain and the freedom of‐♪
No, stop. You're putting me off.
362
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,640
Sorry.
[drumming stops]
363
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,440
You, you've put me off.
364
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,560
Right. I'm off to get laid. Whoo!
Uh,
365
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,040
you're vile.
366
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,120
Use a condom. You know he's fertile.
367
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,120
Well, yes. I always wear protection.
368
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,240
Especially in this wet weather. Ha!
369
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,320
I love you. Do you love me?
Goodbye. I love you.
370
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,000
Do you love me?
No.
371
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,280
Do you love me?
I love you! I love you.
372
00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:34,560
[drumming]
♪ I love you, I do ♪
373
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,720
♪ I love you, I love you,
I love you‐♪
374
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,880
[laughs] Ha, ha!
Bye!
375
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,240
Go away!
376
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,880
♪
377
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:02,360
[door slams]
Ooh. Oh‐[sighs]
378
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,400
[shower water runs]
Oh, feck!
379
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:06,880
[groans]
380
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:09,760
[laughs]
381
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,880
Ooh!
You're disgusting.
382
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,640
Oh, I'm sorry!
I thought you were in the shower,
383
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,520
or, um, having sex in the shower.
384
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,920
Ugh!
I'm sorry. It's just
my processes take ages,
385
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,920
and I'm really running late, so‐‐
Processes? Oh, my God.
386
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:22,320
You gonna suck a dick tonight?
387
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:23,920
Bradley!
[Bradley laughs]
388
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:25,560
Probably?
Probably.
389
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,120
[laughs]
Oh, my God. I mean,
390
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,520
I'll probably talk too much
and he'll, like, throw me out, anyways.
391
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,520
Now, you see that? Don't do that.
392
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:33,960
What? What, what, what?
That. That shitting on yourself.
393
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,880
It's just so boring. I hate that.
394
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,960
Oh. I mean, I was joking, but,
yes, okay, I'm fabulous,
395
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,560
and he's gonna want to marry me,
396
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,240
and then you can turn the spare room
into a sex dungeon, or whatever you want.
397
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,680
Mmm. Kinky. But no, I'd miss, uh,
398
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,120
this bullshit too much.
399
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,040
Uh, I'm genuinely very ashamed.
400
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:50,680
But also, it's burning, and I need‐‐
401
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:52,160
So, off.
Yeah. Get that off.
402
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,600
And please use protection, Catholic one.
403
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,960
Wow. I'm gonna go
and have sex with a man.
[screams]
404
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,000
[banging on door]
Ooh! Oh.
405
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,920
♪ lively fiddle music
plays over speakers ♪
406
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,040
[clatters]
407
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:15,560
[banging on door]
Oh, shit.
408
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:25,440
Oh, my God.
409
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,280
You really shat me up.
Sorry, I got stuck in traffic,
410
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,800
and this place is the bloody wilderness.
411
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,080
[laughs] Yeah.
Can I just‐‐
412
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,240
I feel like my arms
are gonna come out of their sockets.
413
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:35,480
Oh, yeah, yeah. Come in, come in.
Thank you.
414
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,960
Oh, also, um, Mum begged me to ask you
415
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,920
not to use the microwavable
rice packets with them,
[laughs]
416
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,720
because it's, um, a waste.
417
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,160
"Vaste" of all your hard‐earned cash.
[laughs]
418
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,840
And, um, you should just buy
a 70‐ton bulk bag. So...
419
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:50,680
She said she can send you the links.
420
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:54,040
Bless her.
Okay, I'll get the 70‐ton bulk bag,
421
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,800
if it's microwavable.
[both laugh]
422
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,720
Yum!
Mmm.
423
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,560
Do you want to stay for dinner?
424
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,080
You must be tired from the driving.
425
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,480
Oh, um, I mean...
426
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,120
I'm not a long‐distance lorry driver.
427
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,400
I don't legally need to take naps
every four hours or anything.
428
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,680
[laughs] No, no. I just, um, you know.
429
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:18,560
You know what?
We've never hung out, you and I.
430
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:22,400
Yeah, no.
Uh, well, we never needed to‐‐
431
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,920
Yeah, just, we should, is all.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
432
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,640
Uh, I‐I have a pub quiz
with the boys tonight, so...
433
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,040
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Not, not tonight.
434
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,000
Not tonight. Just, um‐‐
Yeah. Are you, are you, you okay?
435
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,320
You haven't put the‐‐
You haven't put the stick down.
436
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,960
Oh! [laughs] It's, um,
it's a drumstick.
437
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,360
It's for my, um, bodhráin drum.
Oh. Oh, cool.
438
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,240
I can play it for you if you‐‐
439
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:46,720
Do you know what? You should go.
440
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,840
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you should.
I would love to hear that.
441
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,840
Yeah. Another time. Another time.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
442
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,240
RICHARD: Should I, uh,
should I put some music on, or‐‐
443
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,560
What, some, like,
traditional Irish music?
444
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,520
Hmm?
I was wondering if you were
gonna make jokes about this.
445
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,880
Oh, sorry.
No, that's good.
446
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,680
It's, uh, it's nice to laugh.
447
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,280
Mmm. Mmm.
448
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:09,600
Christ.
Oh, what?
449
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,320
I just heard myself,
"It's nice to laugh."
450
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,560
Oh. [laughs] There's a hot
new take there, Richard.
451
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,040
[laughs]
452
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,680
[moans]
[Richard groans]
453
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:19,760
One second.
Oh.
454
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:24,480
Hmm.
[Richard sighs]
455
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,240
[keyboard keys clicking]
456
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,320
When did you first know
you fancied me? [laughs]
457
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:06,640
Um, uh, the first time
you went upstairs to see Etienne
458
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,120
in one of your little skirts.
459
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:10,640
Mr. Kirby.
That’s my work uniform.
460
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,320
Office?
Yeah. [laughs]
461
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:14,760
[groans]
462
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,600
[passionate groaning]
463
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,160
Oh...
464
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:31,160
Uh, sorry. Might just take a few, um‐‐
No, no, no, that's fine.
465
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,960
Yeah.
Just, um... Yeah.
466
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,440
Do you want‐Can I do anything?
467
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,760
Um, no, no. Um, sorry.
468
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:41,360
Maybe I did need some traditional
Irish music after all.
[laughs] Oh!
469
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:44,360
I mean, I could still
sing you something. You know.
Right.
470
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:46,880
Uh, there’s one song about this time
471
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,160
when the British soldiers
were fucking awful in Cork.
472
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,240
It was a horn guarantee so...
473
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,040
Yeah. [laughs]
474
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,200
Um...
475
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,040
Do you mind if, uh,
could we change it up‐‐
476
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:01,960
Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
I just, um... Yeah.
477
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,600
Yeah. Maybe you could, like‐‐
478
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,360
No, no. No.
No? If we‐‐
479
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:07,120
Oh...
I just, um...
480
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,600
Oh, no, no, no. You don't have to‐‐
481
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,120
No, no, no, no. Honestly, you don't.
Please, please, please?
482
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:14,920
I want to. I want to. If that's okay.
Oh...
483
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:18,080
Oh, I mean, absolutely.
Obviously, yeah, but, um...
Okay.
484
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:21,200
Yeah, I just feel a bit guilty,
so, yeah. Okay.
No, no.
485
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,720
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
486
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,000
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
487
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,280
There?
Oh, yeah. Yes.
488
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,080
Yes. Yep, yep.
489
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,280
Ooh. Aah.
490
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,520
Jesus Christ. Fuckin' hell.
Jesus.
491
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,240
Oh, ho, ho...
492
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,000
[moaning]
493
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,440
[moaning increases]
494
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,320
[rhythmic moaning increases]
495
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,600
[sobbing]
496
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,960
[crying]
497
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,360
Honey, did I hurt you?
498
00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:07,320
No. God, I'm so sorry.
499
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:09,720
Sorry.
500
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,880
Oh, God, that was lovely.
501
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,960
Honey, I'm, I'm trying to work out‐‐
Oh, gosh.
502
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,960
I just think it was just like‐‐
503
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,280
It's really like... Ooh.
504
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,480
Like pure, pure
505
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,600
hit of happiness and then just having‐‐
506
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,840
So, like, like, good?
507
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,280
Oh... Uh...
508
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,440
I don't think I've ever heard
so many Jesuses.
509
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:35,000
Mmm, yeah.
Sorry to talk about my ex in bed.
510
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,280
[laughs]
511
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,120
♪ "Oh What A Feeling"
by Mystery Skulls playing ♪
512
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:53,880
♪ Oh what a feeling,
every single time I'm with you baby ♪
513
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:57,800
♪ Hooked on your loveliness,
it's so surreal it leaves me hazy ♪
514
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:02,800
♪ When I look in your eyes
it's truly clear, it's got to be love ♪
515
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:09,760
♪ Oh what a feeling,
is it real enough ♪
516
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:13,800
♪ Oh what a feeling,
is it really love ♪
517
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:17,880
♪ Oh what a feeling,
am I strong enough ♪
518
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:21,320
♪ Oh what a feeling,
is it really love ♪
519
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:25,160
♪ What a feeling,
with you ♪
520
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:30,760
♪ When I love you,
got to be real and ♪
521
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,760
♪ With you ♪
39869
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