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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,009 --> 00:00:31,009 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:01:08,327 --> 00:01:09,561 Just a minute. 3 00:01:17,502 --> 00:01:19,271 Mr. Nichols? 4 00:01:19,338 --> 00:01:20,739 This is the place. 5 00:01:23,508 --> 00:01:25,244 What in Sam Hill is going on? 6 00:01:25,311 --> 00:01:26,412 We're here to help you move. 7 00:01:26,479 --> 00:01:28,347 Is the furniture going? 8 00:01:28,414 --> 00:01:30,282 No, just the boxes. 9 00:01:30,349 --> 00:01:32,650 Wait, I didn't hire movers. 10 00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,519 Someone tweeted that you needed help moving. 11 00:01:34,586 --> 00:01:35,955 I don't Twitter. 12 00:01:36,022 --> 00:01:40,658 [? yeah. ?] Be careful with that. 13 00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:52,171 Hey, are these yours? 14 00:01:52,238 --> 00:01:53,738 They were my wife's. 15 00:01:53,805 --> 00:01:57,076 Oh, I'm sorry. 16 00:01:57,143 --> 00:01:59,145 Put them in back. 17 00:02:01,113 --> 00:02:03,449 You sure you don't need help unloading? 18 00:02:03,516 --> 00:02:05,384 I can handle it. 19 00:02:05,451 --> 00:02:06,218 God loves you, man. 20 00:06:51,136 --> 00:06:53,305 God, I need a miracle. 21 00:07:45,624 --> 00:07:46,525 Hold your horses. 22 00:07:55,667 --> 00:07:56,435 Hey, bro. 23 00:07:56,502 --> 00:07:57,870 Ay. 24 00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,171 Call me sir. 25 00:07:59,238 --> 00:08:03,742 Right, sir. 26 00:08:03,809 --> 00:08:05,110 I left a shoe box inside. 27 00:08:05,177 --> 00:08:06,278 In my place? 28 00:08:06,345 --> 00:08:08,781 It's my grandmother's place. 29 00:08:08,847 --> 00:08:10,115 I stayed here until it rented. 30 00:08:19,591 --> 00:08:21,093 Take this too. 31 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,494 Oh, you can keep that stuff. 32 00:08:22,561 --> 00:08:23,328 I don't want it. 33 00:08:23,395 --> 00:08:25,397 It's not going to fit in my car. 34 00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,766 Because it's a little baby car. 35 00:08:27,833 --> 00:08:29,234 Oh, hey, jarhead. 36 00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:32,471 I was hoping I'd never get to see you again, homie. 37 00:08:32,538 --> 00:08:34,540 Likewise. 38 00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:41,280 I got something you're going to need for him. 39 00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:50,222 Grandma Rose, she called this her blessing stick. 40 00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:55,127 Blessing stick? 41 00:08:55,194 --> 00:08:56,795 Yeah, she the blessed people over the head who were 42 00:08:56,862 --> 00:08:58,063 trying to get in her house. 43 00:09:00,766 --> 00:09:03,101 Hey, take your box. 44 00:09:05,804 --> 00:09:07,439 Merry Christmas, homie. 45 00:09:10,776 --> 00:09:11,577 It's not Christmas. 46 00:10:05,864 --> 00:10:08,066 That figures. 47 00:10:29,956 --> 00:10:31,456 Any time, Jesus. 48 00:10:31,523 --> 00:10:32,558 Any time. 49 00:10:32,624 --> 00:10:36,029 Hey, this guy's stealing your truck. 50 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,297 What? 51 00:10:42,834 --> 00:10:44,136 What's going on? 52 00:10:44,202 --> 00:10:45,137 Eddie Nichols? 53 00:10:45,203 --> 00:10:47,272 Get out of my truck. 54 00:10:47,339 --> 00:10:49,107 It's not your truck anymore, man. 55 00:10:51,677 --> 00:10:53,912 The medical bills shouldn't be tied to the truck. 56 00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:54,713 Can't we just... 57 00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:55,814 Eh. 58 00:10:55,881 --> 00:10:57,849 You have to talk to the bank, OK? 59 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:21,206 That sucks. 60 00:11:21,273 --> 00:11:26,311 In my home, young lady, that was a swear word. 61 00:11:26,378 --> 00:11:29,381 Merry Christmas to you too, Scrooge. 62 00:11:29,448 --> 00:11:33,619 It's not Christmas! 63 00:11:52,638 --> 00:11:53,839 Here we go again. 64 00:11:53,905 --> 00:11:55,240 [inaudible] 65 00:11:55,307 --> 00:11:56,274 It's my fault again. 66 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:57,743 The night shift, the day shift... 67 00:11:57,809 --> 00:11:58,577 Yeah, OK. 68 00:11:58,644 --> 00:11:59,244 ...the late shift. 69 00:11:59,311 --> 00:12:00,245 Oh, yeah. 70 00:12:00,312 --> 00:12:01,647 But I didn't do anything before. 71 00:12:01,713 --> 00:12:03,382 No, no, yeah, that's what I've done my... 72 00:12:03,448 --> 00:12:05,417 ...six hours, and there's dishes [inaudible].. 73 00:12:05,484 --> 00:12:06,785 What, is there a camera here? 74 00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:07,919 Do you even see what I'm... 75 00:12:07,987 --> 00:12:08,955 [inaudible] the dishes. 76 00:12:09,022 --> 00:12:10,123 It doesn't make... 77 00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:24,403 Yeah? 78 00:12:24,469 --> 00:12:27,439 Just seeing if everything is all right. 79 00:12:27,506 --> 00:12:28,840 He won't do the dishes. 80 00:12:35,681 --> 00:12:36,915 It's never about the dishes. 81 00:12:39,484 --> 00:12:40,585 Get away from the door. 82 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,441 What are you looking at? 83 00:14:33,565 --> 00:14:34,967 Your Jesus is missing. 84 00:14:38,804 --> 00:14:39,939 Excuse me? 85 00:14:40,006 --> 00:14:42,275 Your Jesus is gone. 86 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:45,144 You can say that again. 87 00:14:45,211 --> 00:14:46,545 Your Jesus is gone. 88 00:15:04,663 --> 00:15:06,098 I was just wondering if I could... 89 00:15:06,165 --> 00:15:07,632 No. 90 00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:10,002 You don't know what I was going to ask. 91 00:15:10,069 --> 00:15:11,570 Uh, no. 92 00:15:11,636 --> 00:15:13,206 Is that your final answer? 93 00:15:13,272 --> 00:15:15,473 No. 94 00:15:17,043 --> 00:15:19,444 Who's in charge here? 95 00:15:19,511 --> 00:15:20,512 I see his name. 96 00:15:20,579 --> 00:15:22,781 What's your name? 97 00:15:25,517 --> 00:15:28,120 My name is No. 98 00:15:44,436 --> 00:15:45,972 You don't... you're not perfect. 99 00:15:46,038 --> 00:15:47,505 You don't do everything. 100 00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:49,875 ...and then you come home, and there's piles of laundry 101 00:15:49,942 --> 00:15:50,442 everywhere. 102 00:15:50,508 --> 00:15:51,676 OK, one day. 103 00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:53,112 What about last week? 104 00:15:53,179 --> 00:15:54,146 What did I do... 105 00:15:54,213 --> 00:15:55,314 OK, just talk over me them. 106 00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:56,548 Yeah, fine, talk over me. 107 00:15:56,615 --> 00:15:57,916 What did I do last week? 108 00:16:00,652 --> 00:16:02,387 Do I even get a "thank you," maybe? 109 00:16:02,454 --> 00:16:06,092 [inaudible] every single day [inaudible].. 110 00:16:12,365 --> 00:16:14,900 Whatever! 111 00:16:33,518 --> 00:16:37,156 Your parents know where you are? 112 00:16:37,223 --> 00:16:39,591 Ramos is not my father. 113 00:16:39,658 --> 00:16:42,094 Does he hurt you? 114 00:16:42,161 --> 00:16:44,496 No, I'm a ghost to him. 115 00:16:50,435 --> 00:16:51,803 You're not a ghost. 116 00:16:51,870 --> 00:16:56,108 You are if nobody sees you. 117 00:16:56,175 --> 00:16:58,177 I see you. 118 00:17:03,416 --> 00:17:06,718 I knight thee a real, live kid. 119 00:17:09,322 --> 00:17:11,424 What is that? 120 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,025 It's a blessing stick. 121 00:17:13,092 --> 00:17:15,294 I was going to give Ramos a blessing. 122 00:17:15,361 --> 00:17:16,695 He doesn't deserve a blessing. 123 00:17:19,798 --> 00:17:22,301 Sometimes hurt people hurt people. 124 00:17:22,368 --> 00:17:23,668 Who said that? 125 00:17:23,735 --> 00:17:25,470 I saw it on a bumper sticker. 126 00:17:31,277 --> 00:17:34,380 Rose used to light these up. 127 00:17:34,447 --> 00:17:36,614 They don't work anymore. 128 00:17:42,021 --> 00:17:44,889 I wish everyday was Christmas. 129 00:17:44,957 --> 00:17:46,225 Why is that? 130 00:17:46,292 --> 00:17:51,364 Christmas is about getting presents, and people are nicer. 131 00:17:51,430 --> 00:17:53,466 Hope, get in here! 132 00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:55,468 Can I tell you something? 133 00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:56,801 Sure. 134 00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:58,204 That stuff you're in smells really bad. 135 00:18:05,077 --> 00:18:07,079 No. 136 00:18:08,481 --> 00:18:10,950 Just this little spot, for a garden. 137 00:18:11,017 --> 00:18:13,019 No. 138 00:18:23,062 --> 00:18:25,264 Go plant the garden in the field out back. 139 00:18:29,268 --> 00:18:31,404 That land is toxic. 140 00:18:31,470 --> 00:18:33,039 Nothing will ever grow there. 141 00:18:33,105 --> 00:18:34,974 I'm going to take that as a "yes." 142 00:24:19,051 --> 00:24:20,018 What's this place? 143 00:24:20,085 --> 00:24:22,254 It's where you hold your horses. 144 00:24:27,393 --> 00:24:30,963 Does your mother know where you are? 145 00:24:31,029 --> 00:24:32,464 She's old school. 146 00:24:32,531 --> 00:24:33,499 She just says go play. 147 00:24:45,043 --> 00:24:47,012 What are you doing? 148 00:24:47,079 --> 00:24:49,248 Planting a garden. 149 00:24:52,851 --> 00:24:53,786 Why? 150 00:24:53,852 --> 00:24:54,753 Something to do. 151 00:24:54,820 --> 00:24:56,388 Looks like work. 152 00:24:56,455 --> 00:24:59,591 People not willing to work, shouldn't eat. 153 00:24:59,658 --> 00:25:01,026 Says who? 154 00:25:01,093 --> 00:25:02,394 The Bible says that. 155 00:25:08,133 --> 00:25:09,835 Want to see something weird? 156 00:25:09,902 --> 00:25:12,104 Always. 157 00:25:25,617 --> 00:25:28,787 Of all the places in this field, the best soil 158 00:25:28,854 --> 00:25:31,323 is under this dead tree. 159 00:25:31,390 --> 00:25:34,326 Nothing that's died has ever come back to life. 160 00:25:36,862 --> 00:25:39,064 That's not true. 161 00:25:40,632 --> 00:25:43,035 My daddy died, and he's never coming back. 162 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:03,422 I'm sorry. 163 00:26:04,756 --> 00:26:06,291 Mom says people shouldn't say sorry when 164 00:26:06,358 --> 00:26:08,160 you find out someone's died. 165 00:26:08,227 --> 00:26:10,095 You should ask what were they like. 166 00:26:17,402 --> 00:26:19,304 OK. 167 00:26:19,371 --> 00:26:22,074 What was he like, your dad? 168 00:26:22,140 --> 00:26:24,810 He was good. 169 00:26:24,877 --> 00:26:27,446 Kind of silly. 170 00:26:27,513 --> 00:26:29,548 What was she like, your wife? 171 00:26:39,959 --> 00:26:42,528 How do you know I lost my wife? 172 00:26:42,594 --> 00:26:45,130 No one moves into my neighborhood 173 00:26:45,197 --> 00:26:46,598 because they just started living. 174 00:26:49,969 --> 00:26:53,171 She was kind of silly, probably like your dad. 175 00:26:53,238 --> 00:26:55,040 She liked rock and roll and sushi. 176 00:26:55,107 --> 00:26:55,975 Gross! 177 00:26:56,041 --> 00:27:00,112 Come on, kid. 178 00:27:00,178 --> 00:27:01,847 Give me a hand. 179 00:27:01,914 --> 00:27:03,215 What was your wife's name? 180 00:27:05,851 --> 00:27:08,287 Olivia, and she loved to work. 181 00:27:08,353 --> 00:27:11,223 Did she work at a donut shop? 182 00:27:11,290 --> 00:27:13,125 She was a horticulturist. 183 00:27:13,191 --> 00:27:15,995 A horti-whatter-what? 184 00:27:16,061 --> 00:27:17,362 She was a plant expert. 185 00:27:17,429 --> 00:27:20,033 She taught me everything I know about gardening. 186 00:27:20,098 --> 00:27:21,166 What did you teach her? 187 00:27:24,703 --> 00:27:28,007 I taught her what I thought I knew about faith. 188 00:27:28,073 --> 00:27:29,408 You a preacher? 189 00:27:29,474 --> 00:27:33,679 No, just a guy who's read the Bible a lot. 190 00:27:33,745 --> 00:27:35,247 My mom has a Bible. 191 00:27:35,314 --> 00:27:37,382 She stopped reading it after my dad died. 192 00:27:40,586 --> 00:27:41,988 Bible's got great stories in it. 193 00:27:42,055 --> 00:27:44,222 Comics. 194 00:27:44,289 --> 00:27:46,191 Great stories. 195 00:27:46,258 --> 00:27:47,392 They're not true stories. 196 00:27:50,029 --> 00:27:52,698 I used to tell Bible stories while working in our garden. 197 00:27:55,300 --> 00:27:59,838 Say, what's your name? 198 00:27:59,905 --> 00:28:01,074 Hope. 199 00:28:01,139 --> 00:28:02,708 What's yours? 200 00:28:02,774 --> 00:28:07,679 When I was a school teacher, they called me Mr. Nichols. 201 00:28:07,746 --> 00:28:12,085 Are you gonna tell Bible stories while you plant this garden? 202 00:28:12,150 --> 00:28:14,386 No. 203 00:28:14,453 --> 00:28:16,188 There is no one left to tell them to. 204 00:28:31,436 --> 00:28:34,606 This old man, he played one. 205 00:28:34,673 --> 00:28:37,442 He played knick knack on my thumb. 206 00:28:37,509 --> 00:28:41,213 With a knick knack paddy whack, give a dog a bone, 207 00:28:41,279 --> 00:28:45,817 this old man came rolling home. 208 00:29:52,384 --> 00:29:55,620 That was the longest 20 yards of my life. 209 00:29:57,422 --> 00:29:59,391 My sciatica is killing me. 210 00:30:05,363 --> 00:30:07,200 I don't even remember how I got here. 211 00:31:04,856 --> 00:31:06,225 What did you find? 212 00:31:06,291 --> 00:31:09,294 Looks like a plug. 213 00:31:09,361 --> 00:31:10,762 It's a tree nut. 214 00:31:10,829 --> 00:31:13,065 Some part of the tree once grew out of there. 215 00:31:17,970 --> 00:31:19,538 Trees are the first thing that God 216 00:31:19,604 --> 00:31:21,339 planted in the Garden of Eden. 217 00:31:21,406 --> 00:31:23,375 Eden? 218 00:31:24,476 --> 00:31:26,511 It's the first story in the Bible. 219 00:31:33,819 --> 00:31:35,854 In the beginning, there was nothing. 220 00:31:35,921 --> 00:31:36,321 Nothing? 221 00:31:36,388 --> 00:31:37,689 Nothing. 222 00:31:37,756 --> 00:31:42,794 No earth, no sky, no sea, plants, no animals, 223 00:31:42,861 --> 00:31:43,495 and no people. 224 00:31:43,562 --> 00:31:45,131 I didn't know that. 225 00:31:45,198 --> 00:31:48,800 God spoke in the darkness, "Let there be light." 226 00:31:48,867 --> 00:31:50,937 And just like that, there was light. 227 00:31:51,003 --> 00:31:52,404 Like a light switch. 228 00:31:52,470 --> 00:31:56,309 Like a light switch God saw the light was good, 229 00:31:56,374 --> 00:31:59,878 so He split the light from the dark and called it a day. 230 00:31:59,946 --> 00:32:01,847 The next morning, God looked around 231 00:32:01,913 --> 00:32:05,251 and thought the Earth needs to be more organized. 232 00:32:05,318 --> 00:32:09,387 So He put all the water in one place and all the dry land 233 00:32:09,454 --> 00:32:10,822 in another. 234 00:32:10,889 --> 00:32:14,392 When He finished that, He made plants and trees, 235 00:32:14,459 --> 00:32:16,295 like the ones that cover the Rocky Mountains. 236 00:32:19,198 --> 00:32:21,399 Come on. 237 00:32:23,970 --> 00:32:26,738 All sorts of trees and grasses began to grow. 238 00:32:29,275 --> 00:32:33,946 Then God made the sun to light the sky during the day. 239 00:32:34,013 --> 00:32:37,449 He hung the moon and stars to sparkle the night. 240 00:32:37,515 --> 00:32:39,151 He stepped back to look at His work 241 00:32:39,218 --> 00:32:42,288 and said "This is good stuff." 242 00:32:42,355 --> 00:32:43,421 Good stuff. 243 00:32:46,058 --> 00:32:49,594 The next day, God filled the waters with life... 244 00:32:49,661 --> 00:32:52,064 millions of fish swimming in the ocean. 245 00:32:52,131 --> 00:32:55,268 He made birds and sent them soaring through the air. 246 00:32:55,334 --> 00:32:56,235 "Excellent. 247 00:32:56,302 --> 00:33:00,805 This is good," He said. 248 00:33:00,872 --> 00:33:01,740 Come on. 249 00:33:04,876 --> 00:33:07,679 Then God let the Earth bring forth 250 00:33:07,746 --> 00:33:10,515 living creatures, creeping things, 251 00:33:10,582 --> 00:33:12,084 and beasts of the Earth. 252 00:33:12,151 --> 00:33:14,053 Dinosaurs? 253 00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:19,392 Everything, from ants to zebras, lions and tigers and bears. 254 00:33:19,457 --> 00:33:20,192 Oh boy. 255 00:33:23,495 --> 00:33:26,332 But God felt something was missing. 256 00:33:26,399 --> 00:33:27,699 What was missing? 257 00:33:27,766 --> 00:33:28,367 Man. 258 00:33:28,433 --> 00:33:29,534 What about woman? 259 00:33:34,906 --> 00:33:36,409 God spoke again. 260 00:33:36,474 --> 00:33:40,745 "Let Us make man in Our image, and let him rule over 261 00:33:40,812 --> 00:33:43,448 the fish in the sea, the birds in the air, 262 00:33:43,515 --> 00:33:45,650 and the creatures on land." 263 00:33:45,717 --> 00:33:48,620 And it happened just like that. 264 00:33:51,257 --> 00:33:54,459 He created the very first man. 265 00:33:54,526 --> 00:33:56,728 From what? 266 00:33:58,197 --> 00:34:03,436 Life will grow from the soil of the Earth if it is loved. 267 00:34:03,501 --> 00:34:05,137 God made man from dirt. 268 00:34:08,807 --> 00:34:11,344 What did God make kids from? 269 00:34:11,410 --> 00:34:12,477 Candy, of course. 270 00:34:15,580 --> 00:34:17,183 Do you have kids? 271 00:34:17,249 --> 00:34:18,284 I have a daughter. 272 00:34:18,351 --> 00:34:20,518 She's all grown up and married. 273 00:34:20,585 --> 00:34:22,121 She's mad at me. 274 00:34:22,188 --> 00:34:23,855 How come? 275 00:34:23,922 --> 00:34:27,525 She doesn't like the choices I made for her mom at the end. 276 00:34:27,592 --> 00:34:30,695 Well, just go tell her you're sorry. 277 00:34:37,470 --> 00:34:39,537 It's not that easy. 278 00:34:39,604 --> 00:34:44,377 When I get in trouble, my mom sends me to my room. 279 00:34:44,443 --> 00:34:48,014 But when I go say I'm sorry, she lets me out. 280 00:34:52,650 --> 00:34:55,087 Wait. 281 00:34:55,154 --> 00:34:57,756 I bet my mom's looking for me right now. 282 00:35:03,362 --> 00:35:05,431 What about woman? 283 00:35:05,498 --> 00:35:07,699 Tomorrow. 284 00:35:15,707 --> 00:35:17,143 Hope, where are you? 285 00:35:21,613 --> 00:35:22,481 Excuse me. 286 00:35:22,547 --> 00:35:25,518 Have you seen my kid? 287 00:35:28,887 --> 00:35:30,622 I'll take that as a no. 288 00:35:37,296 --> 00:35:38,130 Careful. 289 00:35:38,197 --> 00:35:39,265 You'll blow yourself up. 290 00:35:48,307 --> 00:35:49,574 OK. 291 00:35:49,641 --> 00:35:50,509 OK. 292 00:35:50,575 --> 00:35:51,776 That was fun, Shawna. 293 00:36:00,419 --> 00:36:02,354 I win. 294 00:36:02,421 --> 00:36:03,721 I dare you. 295 00:36:03,788 --> 00:36:04,889 I dare you. 296 00:36:53,973 --> 00:36:58,511 Hey, I think we got off on the wrong foot. 297 00:36:58,577 --> 00:37:00,879 Is that supposed to be some kind of lame joke? 298 00:37:04,517 --> 00:37:05,817 No, not at all. 299 00:37:12,158 --> 00:37:13,892 IED? 300 00:37:13,959 --> 00:37:15,860 It wasn't an IOU the government gave me. 301 00:37:18,397 --> 00:37:19,632 All right, then. 302 00:37:19,697 --> 00:37:21,900 Oorah. 303 00:37:24,203 --> 00:37:25,870 Marines? 304 00:37:25,938 --> 00:37:28,607 Vietnam, '68 to '71. 305 00:37:28,673 --> 00:37:29,608 Infantry? 306 00:37:29,674 --> 00:37:30,509 Chaplain. 307 00:38:02,474 --> 00:38:06,045 You're not some kind of weirdo, are you? 308 00:38:06,111 --> 00:38:08,147 I'm a retired grade school teacher. 309 00:38:11,584 --> 00:38:13,485 What's with the garden? 310 00:38:13,552 --> 00:38:15,054 It's a healing garden. 311 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,922 My wife planted one while she was sick. 312 00:38:17,990 --> 00:38:20,092 It didn't work. 313 00:38:20,159 --> 00:38:22,328 I'm sorry. 314 00:38:22,394 --> 00:38:24,663 Well, not sure I want you filling my kid's head wtih 315 00:38:24,729 --> 00:38:26,432 stories about men being made from dirt, 316 00:38:26,498 --> 00:38:28,866 because that's the only thing the Bible got right. 317 00:38:31,903 --> 00:38:34,073 War is a dirty thing. 318 00:38:34,139 --> 00:38:36,342 A man can't wash it off on his own. 319 00:38:48,454 --> 00:38:50,422 [ON RADIO] Well, Jim, you know what they say here 320 00:38:50,489 --> 00:38:52,924 in Colorado... if you don't like the weather, 321 00:38:52,992 --> 00:38:54,326 just wait 10 minutes. 322 00:38:54,393 --> 00:38:56,195 But I wouldn't hold you up on that, 323 00:38:56,262 --> 00:39:00,065 because summer is holding strong across the Denver metro area. 324 00:39:00,132 --> 00:39:03,135 In fact, Commerce City tied the record high afternoon Thursday 325 00:39:03,202 --> 00:39:08,540 of 96 degrees, first set in 1990. 326 00:39:20,152 --> 00:39:22,688 Is God making girls today? 327 00:39:22,755 --> 00:39:24,822 He makes a woman for the lonely man. 328 00:39:27,593 --> 00:39:29,794 Cookies for breakfast? 329 00:39:29,861 --> 00:39:31,697 At this point, why not? 330 00:39:46,811 --> 00:39:48,614 Didn't we pull those already? 331 00:39:48,681 --> 00:39:49,448 I got 'em. 332 00:39:57,589 --> 00:40:00,926 God placed the man He had made in a perfect garden 333 00:40:00,993 --> 00:40:03,962 and told him to take care of it. 334 00:40:04,029 --> 00:40:05,397 No one took care of this tree. 335 00:40:12,471 --> 00:40:15,207 Only the spirit of God could bring this tree to life. 336 00:40:20,446 --> 00:40:23,816 I think I left my spirit at home. 337 00:40:23,881 --> 00:40:27,353 Your body's barely here, Norm. 338 00:40:29,388 --> 00:40:34,293 In the middle of the garden, God planted two special trees. 339 00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,795 One was called the tree of life, and the other 340 00:40:36,861 --> 00:40:40,232 was called the tree of knowledge of good and evil. 341 00:40:40,299 --> 00:40:42,134 That sounds like a scary movie. 342 00:40:42,201 --> 00:40:45,437 Evil can feel like a scary movie. 343 00:40:45,504 --> 00:40:46,638 So God told Adam... 344 00:40:46,705 --> 00:40:49,007 that was the man's name... 345 00:40:49,074 --> 00:40:52,444 he could eat the fruit from every tree in the garden 346 00:40:52,511 --> 00:40:56,849 except from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. 347 00:40:56,914 --> 00:41:00,885 "If you eat from this tree," God said, "you will die." 348 00:41:00,953 --> 00:41:03,322 Why would God grow a tree you can't eat from? 349 00:41:03,389 --> 00:41:05,524 He wanted people to have a choice. 350 00:41:05,591 --> 00:41:08,761 Without free will, we would just be under God's control. 351 00:41:08,827 --> 00:41:11,497 Like a robot. 352 00:41:11,563 --> 00:41:13,432 Yeah, like a robot. 353 00:41:17,970 --> 00:41:20,372 What's that fool doing now? 354 00:41:20,439 --> 00:41:21,640 OK. 355 00:41:21,707 --> 00:41:22,841 Ready to hear about the woman? 356 00:41:22,907 --> 00:41:26,445 I've been waiting forever. 357 00:41:26,512 --> 00:41:29,948 Adam was lonely and needed a helper. 358 00:41:30,015 --> 00:41:33,385 So God made Adam fall into a deep sleep, 359 00:41:33,452 --> 00:41:38,123 took a rib from him, and made the very first woman from it. 360 00:41:38,190 --> 00:41:41,260 My mom is made of way more than just a rib. 361 00:41:41,326 --> 00:41:44,329 Women were made as a source of strength and reinforcement. 362 00:41:44,396 --> 00:41:47,299 All women are more than just a rib. 363 00:41:47,366 --> 00:41:51,303 The man Adam named his wife Eve because she would become 364 00:41:51,370 --> 00:41:54,573 the mother of all that live. 365 00:41:54,640 --> 00:42:02,080 But one day Eve was walking in the garden, 366 00:42:02,147 --> 00:42:04,116 and a snake spoke to her. 367 00:42:04,183 --> 00:42:05,884 A talking snake? 368 00:42:05,951 --> 00:42:07,820 That's just weird. 369 00:42:07,886 --> 00:42:13,292 If it's weird and in the Bible, it's probably important. 370 00:42:13,358 --> 00:42:15,794 So the snake says "Did God really 371 00:42:15,861 --> 00:42:19,698 say you can't eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge 372 00:42:19,765 --> 00:42:20,833 of good and evil?" 373 00:42:20,899 --> 00:42:22,568 What did she say? 374 00:42:22,634 --> 00:42:27,005 She said "We can eat from any tree in the garden, 375 00:42:27,072 --> 00:42:28,073 but not that one. 376 00:42:28,140 --> 00:42:31,109 God said if we do, we'll die." 377 00:42:31,176 --> 00:42:33,879 Get back, you snake! 378 00:42:33,947 --> 00:42:38,484 So the snake says "You won't die. 379 00:42:38,550 --> 00:42:42,888 God knows that if you eat the fruit from that tree 380 00:42:42,956 --> 00:42:50,095 you will become wise as a god, knowing good and evil." 381 00:42:50,162 --> 00:42:51,697 What do you think Eve did? 382 00:42:51,763 --> 00:42:54,700 She ate from the tree. 383 00:42:54,766 --> 00:42:56,235 Why do you think she did that? 384 00:42:56,301 --> 00:42:57,870 Because you just can't help it. 385 00:42:57,937 --> 00:42:59,605 That's right. 386 00:42:59,671 --> 00:43:02,774 She ate the fruit and then handed it to her husband Adam. 387 00:43:02,841 --> 00:43:04,209 He was there? 388 00:43:04,276 --> 00:43:06,278 He was standing right there, doing nothing. 389 00:43:06,345 --> 00:43:08,046 He ate the fruit too. 390 00:43:08,113 --> 00:43:12,184 Then they both saw for the first time that they had no clothes. 391 00:43:12,251 --> 00:43:13,987 They must have freaked out. 392 00:43:14,052 --> 00:43:14,954 They did. 393 00:43:15,020 --> 00:43:16,421 They felt ashamed. 394 00:43:16,488 --> 00:43:19,625 They ran off and picked leaves from a fig tree 395 00:43:19,691 --> 00:43:21,193 to cover themselves. 396 00:43:21,260 --> 00:43:23,729 And that was the first sin. 397 00:43:23,795 --> 00:43:27,766 From then on, life became very hard. 398 00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:36,108 Eve totally blew it. 399 00:43:36,174 --> 00:43:39,511 No, they both blew it. 400 00:43:39,578 --> 00:43:41,813 They should have both been looking after each other. 401 00:43:59,731 --> 00:44:00,934 Stay here. 402 00:44:14,413 --> 00:44:16,548 What are you doing? 403 00:44:16,615 --> 00:44:17,951 What does it look like, chappie? 404 00:44:18,017 --> 00:44:20,218 Call me sir. 405 00:44:21,553 --> 00:44:24,156 I'll put it in the corner over there. 406 00:44:24,222 --> 00:44:26,158 No, we're planting a garden here. 407 00:44:28,493 --> 00:44:31,163 What kind of garden do you think you're gonna grow in this dump? 408 00:44:31,229 --> 00:44:33,465 The kind I grew in Vietnam. 409 00:44:33,532 --> 00:44:35,068 Oh, I don't like vegetables. 410 00:44:35,133 --> 00:44:37,235 It was a flower garden. 411 00:44:37,302 --> 00:44:38,537 I don't like flowers. 412 00:44:38,604 --> 00:44:41,206 Take your garbage out of this field. 413 00:44:54,219 --> 00:44:55,921 Are you crazy, old man? 414 00:44:55,989 --> 00:44:58,490 Give me my leg back! 415 00:44:58,557 --> 00:45:02,728 This is better than fake news on TV. 416 00:45:02,794 --> 00:45:03,562 Yeah. 417 00:45:03,629 --> 00:45:05,464 I just had an IV just yesterday. 418 00:45:09,468 --> 00:45:10,869 You don't know what I've been through! 419 00:45:10,937 --> 00:45:14,506 I know exactly what you've been through. 420 00:45:14,573 --> 00:45:19,611 Those flowers were to lay on the body bags of dead Marines. 421 00:45:19,678 --> 00:45:20,612 Dead Marines! 422 00:45:58,550 --> 00:45:59,651 Have a good day, Marine. 423 00:46:09,294 --> 00:46:10,930 That was awesome. 424 00:46:10,997 --> 00:46:11,897 Yeah? 425 00:46:11,964 --> 00:46:13,365 Well, he had it coming. 426 00:46:13,432 --> 00:46:15,068 What's the next story? 427 00:46:15,134 --> 00:46:20,139 Tomorrow I'll tell you how God wiped out humanity with water. 428 00:47:31,177 --> 00:47:34,147 Hey, let me ask you something. 429 00:47:34,213 --> 00:47:35,881 No. 430 00:47:35,948 --> 00:47:37,482 Come on! 431 00:47:37,549 --> 00:47:40,418 Everybody here has an ache, a pain, or a problem. 432 00:47:40,485 --> 00:47:41,753 They all bring them to me. 433 00:47:45,423 --> 00:47:46,358 Listen. 434 00:47:46,424 --> 00:47:48,194 I heard you're a chaplain. 435 00:47:48,261 --> 00:47:50,963 I was. 436 00:47:51,030 --> 00:47:53,832 I'm not getting any younger, and I 437 00:47:53,899 --> 00:47:58,804 want to make sure I'm right with the Big Guy upstairs. 438 00:47:58,870 --> 00:48:00,039 The Big Guy? 439 00:48:00,106 --> 00:48:00,839 Yeah. 440 00:48:00,906 --> 00:48:02,074 You know, God. 441 00:48:02,141 --> 00:48:05,011 Jesus and the Spirit thing. 442 00:48:05,077 --> 00:48:07,679 Do you believe that God sent His one and only Son to Earth 443 00:48:07,746 --> 00:48:10,582 to pay for your sins and died on a cross 444 00:48:10,649 --> 00:48:13,052 and was resurrected from the dead? 445 00:48:13,119 --> 00:48:14,020 Yeah, sure. 446 00:48:14,086 --> 00:48:15,353 OK. Fine. 447 00:48:15,420 --> 00:48:17,389 You're good. 448 00:48:17,455 --> 00:48:20,325 Oh, really? Am I? 449 00:48:21,060 --> 00:48:22,727 Listen, uh... 450 00:48:22,794 --> 00:48:24,096 Carl. 451 00:48:24,163 --> 00:48:25,864 Listen, Carl. 452 00:48:25,932 --> 00:48:29,634 Only you and Christ know what's in your heart. 453 00:48:29,701 --> 00:48:32,071 And if all that's in your heart is no, 454 00:48:32,138 --> 00:48:34,573 you better find yes before it's too late. 455 00:50:19,178 --> 00:50:21,813 Why did God wipe out people? 456 00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:25,617 Because they forgot about Him and how He loved them. 457 00:50:25,684 --> 00:50:27,219 Except for one man. 458 00:50:27,286 --> 00:50:28,421 His name was Noah. 459 00:50:28,486 --> 00:50:30,122 Oh, I know this story. 460 00:50:30,189 --> 00:50:31,523 You do? 461 00:50:31,589 --> 00:50:33,359 I once got a Noah's Ark toy for Christmas. 462 00:50:33,426 --> 00:50:35,127 That's why I love Christmas... 463 00:50:35,194 --> 00:50:36,295 you get presents. 464 00:50:36,362 --> 00:50:38,097 Christmas isn't about getting. 465 00:50:38,164 --> 00:50:38,965 Yes it is. 466 00:50:39,031 --> 00:50:40,799 No it's not. 467 00:50:40,865 --> 00:50:43,269 We'll have to skip to the Christmas story after this one 468 00:50:43,336 --> 00:50:44,403 so you'll know the truth. 469 00:50:44,469 --> 00:50:46,205 You're the storyteller. 470 00:50:46,272 --> 00:50:50,209 So God was very sad that people stopped loving Him 471 00:50:50,276 --> 00:50:53,511 and that they were cruel to each other. 472 00:50:55,747 --> 00:50:56,681 Come on, kid. 473 00:50:56,748 --> 00:50:57,682 Let's get out of the heat. 474 00:51:16,534 --> 00:51:17,602 Thank you. 475 00:51:17,669 --> 00:51:19,871 Here you go. 476 00:51:26,544 --> 00:51:27,912 Have a seat. 477 00:51:43,029 --> 00:51:47,967 God said to Noah, "I'm going to bring rain to flood the earth. 478 00:51:48,034 --> 00:51:51,470 Build a huge boat from wood, an ark." 479 00:51:51,536 --> 00:51:54,140 Noah did exactly what God asked. 480 00:51:54,206 --> 00:51:57,376 He entered the boat with his wife, their sons, 481 00:51:57,443 --> 00:51:59,178 and their wives. 482 00:51:59,245 --> 00:52:00,212 Then all the animals came. 483 00:52:03,215 --> 00:52:04,916 Except for the unicorns. 484 00:52:04,984 --> 00:52:06,918 There's no such thing as unicorns. 485 00:52:06,986 --> 00:52:09,255 Because they didn't make it to the Ark. 486 00:52:13,259 --> 00:52:14,460 I'm kidding. 487 00:52:14,527 --> 00:52:15,660 Unicorns aren't real. 488 00:52:18,130 --> 00:52:23,469 It rained and poured for 40 days and 40 nights, 489 00:52:23,536 --> 00:52:28,074 flooding the earth and washing away all living things. 490 00:52:28,140 --> 00:52:30,909 After a long time, the Ark finally 491 00:52:30,976 --> 00:52:34,013 rested on the side of a mountain. 492 00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:37,882 Noah's family and all the animals came off the boat 493 00:52:37,950 --> 00:52:41,753 and spread out all over the world. 494 00:52:41,820 --> 00:52:44,490 I hope it never floods like that ever again. 495 00:52:44,557 --> 00:52:45,623 It won't. 496 00:52:45,690 --> 00:52:47,560 How do you know that? 497 00:52:47,625 --> 00:52:50,529 The rainbow in the sky. 498 00:52:50,595 --> 00:52:54,133 It was God's promise to us that He would never do that again. 499 00:52:55,101 --> 00:52:55,733 Yeah! 500 00:52:57,369 --> 00:52:59,572 That's a great story. 501 00:52:59,637 --> 00:53:01,240 Ohoh! 502 00:53:01,307 --> 00:53:03,309 It is. 503 00:53:09,215 --> 00:53:14,386 But Christmas is the greatest story ever told. 504 00:53:14,453 --> 00:53:17,590 I'm ready. 505 00:53:17,655 --> 00:53:21,127 Tomorrow while we plant seeds, I'll 506 00:53:21,193 --> 00:53:22,894 tell you the story of the miracle. 507 00:53:26,031 --> 00:53:30,169 But first I've got a job for you. 508 00:53:42,348 --> 00:53:43,449 No. 509 00:53:43,516 --> 00:53:44,782 Eddie told me you'd say that. 510 00:53:47,685 --> 00:53:48,387 Eddie he sent you? 511 00:53:48,454 --> 00:53:49,188 Yep. 512 00:53:53,526 --> 00:53:55,127 All right, kid. 513 00:53:55,194 --> 00:53:56,495 What do you need? 514 00:54:18,517 --> 00:54:21,786 You do know it's not Christmas. 515 00:54:21,853 --> 00:54:23,721 Maybe every day should be Christmas. 516 00:54:23,788 --> 00:54:25,391 People would be nicer to each other. 517 00:54:28,726 --> 00:54:29,929 Can I ask you something? 518 00:54:34,366 --> 00:54:40,406 The other day, what did you mean it's not about the dishes? 519 00:54:44,842 --> 00:54:47,079 You live with a woman who's had it rough. 520 00:54:47,146 --> 00:54:50,249 She has a child that needs a father. 521 00:54:50,316 --> 00:54:53,185 If you want a peaceful home, you need to be a spiritual warrior. 522 00:54:56,222 --> 00:54:59,959 Thought a lot about God when I was over there. 523 00:55:00,025 --> 00:55:04,096 It seemed more real then. 524 00:55:04,163 --> 00:55:07,099 Death makes God real for some people. 525 00:55:07,166 --> 00:55:11,136 For others, it can lead them to questioning their faith. 526 00:55:15,474 --> 00:55:16,375 What was your wife like? 527 00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:24,183 She was awesome. 528 00:55:29,555 --> 00:55:31,290 Good day, chaplain. 529 00:55:32,658 --> 00:55:37,229 Hey, I was baptized when I was a baby. 530 00:55:37,296 --> 00:55:41,300 Does that stick, or do I need to do that again? 531 00:55:43,801 --> 00:55:44,703 Just do the dishes. 532 00:56:02,388 --> 00:56:03,589 Excuse me, sir. 533 00:56:03,656 --> 00:56:06,525 What's your problem? 534 00:56:06,592 --> 00:56:08,793 Go with it. 535 00:56:10,095 --> 00:56:18,404 My back hurts, I have to go to the bathroom a lot, 536 00:56:18,470 --> 00:56:23,942 my nose hairs keep going, and Hollywood's canceled 537 00:56:24,009 --> 00:56:28,080 the only comedy TV show starring a conservative. 538 00:56:28,147 --> 00:56:36,021 I can live with all that, but my spirit is just failing. 539 00:56:39,458 --> 00:56:41,460 Thank you. 540 00:56:41,527 --> 00:56:45,030 Thanks for brightening up my day. 541 00:56:45,097 --> 00:56:47,299 You're welcome. 542 00:56:55,607 --> 00:56:58,477 Tell us your problem, and we're going to try and fix it. 543 00:57:10,723 --> 00:57:12,725 Sir, what's your problem? 544 00:57:12,791 --> 00:57:14,093 What about my blood pressure? 545 00:57:17,996 --> 00:57:21,433 She wants to know what's wrong. 546 00:57:21,500 --> 00:57:23,502 I'm old. 547 00:57:40,619 --> 00:57:41,387 Flatulence. 548 00:57:44,889 --> 00:57:45,958 What are you two doing? 549 00:58:04,576 --> 00:58:06,578 Why are you sending my kid around the neighborhood 550 00:58:06,645 --> 00:58:08,313 to bother people about what aches them? 551 00:58:08,380 --> 00:58:11,049 These people don't want to talk about their pain. 552 00:58:11,116 --> 00:58:11,916 I know. 553 00:58:11,984 --> 00:58:14,219 I see it every day. 554 00:58:14,286 --> 00:58:16,422 And stop with the supernatural Bible stories 555 00:58:16,488 --> 00:58:18,157 that get her asking questions about 556 00:58:18,223 --> 00:58:20,526 whether or not her father can come back from the dead. 557 00:58:26,031 --> 00:58:27,399 Where do you think you're going? 558 00:58:27,466 --> 00:58:28,967 I'm going to go get dish soap. 559 00:58:33,972 --> 00:58:35,007 Mend your own family. 560 00:59:22,154 --> 00:59:23,489 All right. 561 00:59:23,555 --> 00:59:28,861 Cathy has had the hiccups since 1984. 562 00:59:28,928 --> 00:59:30,262 I'm not so sure I believe that. 563 00:59:34,233 --> 00:59:35,467 Grumpy's back... 564 00:59:35,534 --> 00:59:36,936 Mhm. 565 00:59:37,002 --> 00:59:40,672 ...his nose hair, and Hollywood canceled his favorite comedy 566 00:59:40,739 --> 00:59:41,540 show. 567 00:59:41,607 --> 00:59:42,875 Yep. 568 00:59:42,942 --> 00:59:44,610 And Stanley can't hear. 569 00:59:44,676 --> 00:59:46,678 Mhm. 570 00:59:49,615 --> 00:59:51,750 Are you going to tell me what this was all about? 571 00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:59,091 Gonna plant a seed in the garden for everyone and pray for them. 572 00:59:59,157 --> 01:00:00,526 Well, I want to be on the list. 573 01:00:00,592 --> 01:00:01,293 My knees hurt. 574 01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:01,827 OK. 575 01:00:01,894 --> 01:00:04,096 Go for it. 576 01:00:09,768 --> 01:00:11,770 Where's he going? 577 01:00:14,706 --> 01:00:18,577 Lord, bless this soil and this seed 578 01:00:18,644 --> 01:00:21,948 I offer to You in the name of my daughter Jeannie. 579 01:00:22,015 --> 01:00:24,449 Heal her heart. 580 01:00:24,516 --> 01:00:26,418 She's my favorite person in the world. 581 01:00:32,891 --> 01:00:34,159 In the name of Christ, Amen. 582 01:01:15,300 --> 01:01:17,202 You should have a helmet on. 583 01:01:17,269 --> 01:01:18,470 You sound like your mother. 584 01:01:25,210 --> 01:01:26,278 How you doing, honey? 585 01:01:29,247 --> 01:01:32,217 OK, I guess. 586 01:01:32,284 --> 01:01:34,853 Teaching kids keeps me busy. 587 01:01:34,920 --> 01:01:36,755 But you know that. 588 01:01:36,822 --> 01:01:39,491 Kids can fill up a lot of space in one's mind. 589 01:01:43,829 --> 01:01:44,630 What's with the bike? 590 01:01:50,168 --> 01:01:51,303 The bank took my truck. 591 01:01:55,741 --> 01:01:58,844 You'd still have your truck if you'd let mom stay 592 01:01:58,910 --> 01:02:02,015 in the hospital longer. 593 01:02:02,081 --> 01:02:04,017 That's not what she wanted. 594 01:02:04,083 --> 01:02:06,218 She was sick, Dad. 595 01:02:06,284 --> 01:02:07,586 She wasn't thinking right. 596 01:02:07,653 --> 01:02:10,389 She had cancer, Jeannie, not dementia. 597 01:02:10,455 --> 01:02:12,924 She didn't want to die in a hospital. 598 01:02:12,992 --> 01:02:17,329 She died as she wanted, sitting in that old chair looking out 599 01:02:17,396 --> 01:02:18,597 over her garden. 600 01:02:18,664 --> 01:02:20,332 She could have lived longer. 601 01:02:20,399 --> 01:02:23,970 Longer? For who? For us? 602 01:02:24,037 --> 01:02:26,939 It's our job to let them go as they wish. 603 01:02:27,006 --> 01:02:29,541 Oh, is that what you've done? 604 01:02:29,608 --> 01:02:31,677 Or is she still sitting on a shelf somewhere? 605 01:02:31,743 --> 01:02:33,745 I'm working on it. 606 01:02:40,352 --> 01:02:41,920 I'm sorry, Dad. 607 01:02:41,988 --> 01:02:42,721 It's just... 608 01:02:42,788 --> 01:02:48,027 No, I'm sorry. 609 01:02:48,094 --> 01:02:49,528 I could have been a better father. 610 01:02:54,900 --> 01:02:56,268 You're a good dad. 611 01:03:03,943 --> 01:03:05,477 I just hurt so bad. 612 01:03:13,418 --> 01:03:15,988 You have to know Mom is with Jesus. 613 01:03:18,690 --> 01:03:21,626 I just don't see God working in my life right now. 614 01:03:25,564 --> 01:03:29,135 It's time to let go. 615 01:03:29,202 --> 01:03:32,038 That may take a miracle. 616 01:03:32,105 --> 01:03:33,672 Maybe the miracle happens after. 617 01:03:40,579 --> 01:03:42,414 You're not riding home without a helmet. 618 01:03:49,021 --> 01:03:51,124 So that's your garden, huh? 619 01:03:51,190 --> 01:03:58,998 It's just dirt right now. How's Alan? 620 01:03:59,065 --> 01:04:00,699 He's good. 621 01:04:00,766 --> 01:04:03,435 Working hard. 622 01:04:03,502 --> 01:04:05,704 He likes you. 623 01:04:07,506 --> 01:04:10,375 That's a start. 624 01:04:10,442 --> 01:04:13,478 I like you, most of the time. 625 01:04:21,853 --> 01:04:26,993 I'm going to post a picture of your garden to the internet. 626 01:04:27,059 --> 01:04:30,762 The internet is witchcraft. 627 01:04:30,829 --> 01:04:34,399 The internet is whatever you point it at. 628 01:04:34,466 --> 01:04:38,770 I always point it at something good... 629 01:04:38,837 --> 01:04:41,406 like getting young Christians to help an old man move. 630 01:04:50,149 --> 01:04:51,449 See you around, Dad. 631 01:05:34,359 --> 01:05:35,861 Oh hey, Santa. 632 01:05:43,269 --> 01:05:45,304 Question. 633 01:05:45,370 --> 01:05:47,572 Sure. 634 01:05:57,582 --> 01:06:00,819 Yeah, I can do that. 635 01:06:00,886 --> 01:06:02,888 Thanks, Chaplain. 636 01:06:06,092 --> 01:06:07,392 Oh, look at it now. 637 01:06:34,586 --> 01:06:36,788 You ready? 638 01:06:36,855 --> 01:06:38,857 Are you? 639 01:07:02,348 --> 01:07:04,549 Now I am. 640 01:08:16,989 --> 01:08:23,628 I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 641 01:08:23,695 --> 01:08:26,664 Buried in the likeness of His death 642 01:08:26,731 --> 01:08:30,668 and raised in the likeness of His Resurrection 643 01:08:30,735 --> 01:08:31,937 to be a new man. 644 01:10:05,231 --> 01:10:07,266 I brought the people for the Christmas story. 645 01:10:07,333 --> 01:10:08,334 Did you bring the list? 646 01:10:14,273 --> 01:10:15,640 Stanley's hearing is bad. 647 01:10:27,886 --> 01:10:31,023 Cathy has the hiccups. 648 01:10:31,090 --> 01:10:31,590 Wow. 649 01:10:31,656 --> 01:10:34,859 Since 1984. 650 01:10:34,927 --> 01:10:36,428 Why are we doing this? 651 01:10:36,495 --> 01:10:38,964 And what's this got to do with the Christmas story? 652 01:10:39,031 --> 01:10:41,733 We're doing this to plant the Word of God 653 01:10:41,799 --> 01:10:43,536 in people who need it. 654 01:10:43,602 --> 01:10:45,037 The Word? 655 01:10:45,104 --> 01:10:48,407 The Word was with God and the Word was God. 656 01:10:53,312 --> 01:10:54,180 Just follow along. 657 01:10:58,050 --> 01:11:01,786 A long time ago, God planted the Word 658 01:11:01,853 --> 01:11:04,023 in a young woman named Mary. 659 01:11:04,089 --> 01:11:07,892 She had a man that then married her named Joseph. 660 01:11:07,960 --> 01:11:11,729 She told him that an angel came to visit her 661 01:11:11,796 --> 01:11:14,832 and said she would give birth to the Son of God. 662 01:11:14,899 --> 01:11:17,036 It was hard for him to believe at first, 663 01:11:17,102 --> 01:11:20,172 until an angel came to him and told him so. 664 01:11:20,239 --> 01:11:24,876 So Joseph committed himself to Mary as her husband. 665 01:11:24,944 --> 01:11:26,811 Norm's spirit is failing. 666 01:11:26,878 --> 01:11:29,148 Oh, he can't have that. 667 01:11:33,953 --> 01:11:38,657 So when it came time for Mary to give birth, 668 01:11:38,723 --> 01:11:40,993 it happened to fall at the same time 669 01:11:41,060 --> 01:11:42,528 that the government wanted people 670 01:11:42,595 --> 01:11:44,597 to be counted by where they lived. 671 01:11:44,663 --> 01:11:48,634 Mary and Joseph had to travel to Bethlehem to be counted. 672 01:11:48,701 --> 01:11:51,270 It was a long hard trip. 673 01:11:51,337 --> 01:11:54,306 And when they reached the town, all the hotels were full. 674 01:11:54,373 --> 01:11:56,709 There was nowhere for them to stay. 675 01:11:56,774 --> 01:11:58,577 Why didn't someone help them? 676 01:11:58,644 --> 01:12:00,079 Well, someone finally did. 677 01:12:00,145 --> 01:12:02,615 Some people felt bad for them and offered them a barn 678 01:12:02,681 --> 01:12:03,881 to stay in. 679 01:12:03,949 --> 01:12:05,917 The Son of God was born in a barn? 680 01:12:05,985 --> 01:12:08,053 Yep. 681 01:12:08,120 --> 01:12:10,723 But Mary and Joseph were very thankful 682 01:12:10,788 --> 01:12:12,157 that they had a place to stay. 683 01:12:17,795 --> 01:12:18,931 It's for my mom. 684 01:12:22,968 --> 01:12:24,503 You are a good person. 685 01:12:28,274 --> 01:12:32,910 That night, shepherds visited the baby, and later a star 686 01:12:32,978 --> 01:12:35,681 guided three wise men from the East to see the baby 687 01:12:35,748 --> 01:12:41,353 Jesus, the King of kings, the One who would save the world. 688 01:12:41,420 --> 01:12:43,455 Why did the world need to be saved? 689 01:12:43,522 --> 01:12:46,292 Because of the first sin, hello. 690 01:12:46,358 --> 01:12:51,196 The fruit that Eve ate with Adam standing right there. 691 01:12:51,263 --> 01:12:53,831 Hello. 692 01:12:53,898 --> 01:12:55,601 Exactly. 693 01:12:55,668 --> 01:13:00,172 That baby would grow up to be Jesus Christ, the greatest 694 01:13:00,239 --> 01:13:06,512 Teacher of love and the Savior to the lost and broken. 695 01:13:06,578 --> 01:13:08,347 This is from Carl. 696 01:13:08,414 --> 01:13:10,282 He has a bad knee. 697 01:13:10,349 --> 01:13:13,918 Dear God, say yes to Carl's knee. 698 01:13:16,921 --> 01:13:22,628 Some people rejected Jesus, so they hung Him on a dead tree 699 01:13:22,695 --> 01:13:24,363 until He died. 700 01:13:24,430 --> 01:13:28,334 However, before He died, He told His followers 701 01:13:28,400 --> 01:13:31,503 He would rise three days later. 702 01:13:31,570 --> 01:13:33,205 And he did. 703 01:13:33,272 --> 01:13:36,508 He's the only man who's ever beaten death. 704 01:13:36,575 --> 01:13:38,077 That's right. 705 01:13:38,143 --> 01:13:40,446 But he's a man that can guide you through this life. 706 01:13:52,491 --> 01:13:54,293 Are you ever going to tell me why Christmas 707 01:13:54,360 --> 01:13:55,627 isn't about getting presents? 708 01:13:58,964 --> 01:14:01,866 The reason we give gifts at Christmas 709 01:14:01,934 --> 01:14:04,203 comes from the story of the wise men... 710 01:14:04,269 --> 01:14:04,803 Oh, good. 711 01:14:04,869 --> 01:14:06,205 Another story. 712 01:14:06,271 --> 01:14:09,241 ...who traveled a long hard journey 713 01:14:09,308 --> 01:14:13,178 in order to present Christ with gifts to honor him. 714 01:14:13,245 --> 01:14:15,481 Giving gifts is a symbol of love. 715 01:14:15,547 --> 01:14:19,551 During Christmas, it remind us of the gift of Christ 716 01:14:19,618 --> 01:14:23,956 and our need to give that gift of love to others. 717 01:14:24,022 --> 01:14:25,923 That's why Christmas should be every day. 718 01:14:25,991 --> 01:14:27,559 Yes. 719 01:14:27,626 --> 01:14:32,998 People should behave like every day is Christmas, including me. 720 01:14:44,977 --> 01:14:47,546 Baby Jesus is still missing. 721 01:14:47,613 --> 01:14:48,447 No, it's not. 722 01:14:52,718 --> 01:14:53,552 Merry Christmas. 723 01:15:02,060 --> 01:15:04,129 Merry Christmas to you! 724 01:15:11,170 --> 01:15:12,638 I wish we had power to light it up. 725 01:15:16,675 --> 01:15:19,378 What now? 726 01:15:19,445 --> 01:15:21,046 We pray for the healing garden. 727 01:15:23,749 --> 01:15:25,951 Here. 728 01:15:33,592 --> 01:15:35,627 How do you pray? 729 01:15:35,694 --> 01:15:38,330 Jesus told us how to pray. 730 01:15:38,397 --> 01:15:39,665 Open it to the red tag. 731 01:15:49,675 --> 01:15:52,478 Read the part highlighted in red. 732 01:15:52,544 --> 01:15:59,685 "Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed? 733 01:15:59,751 --> 01:16:03,322 ...be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy 734 01:16:03,388 --> 01:16:06,258 will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 735 01:16:06,325 --> 01:16:08,994 Give us this day our daily bread, 736 01:16:09,061 --> 01:16:16,068 and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive 737 01:16:16,134 --> 01:16:20,806 those who trespass against us, and lead us 738 01:16:20,873 --> 01:16:27,312 not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." 739 01:16:27,379 --> 01:16:28,982 Amen 740 01:16:29,047 --> 01:16:30,749 What does it mean? 741 01:16:30,816 --> 01:16:36,788 It means, show me, God, how to want what you want. 742 01:16:45,999 --> 01:16:48,066 What are these two doing now? 743 01:16:49,067 --> 01:16:51,770 Come on, honey! It's dinner! 744 01:16:55,874 --> 01:16:57,175 Hi, Eddie. 745 01:16:57,242 --> 01:16:58,877 Ho, ho, ho! 746 01:16:58,945 --> 01:16:59,678 Very funny. 747 01:20:47,140 --> 01:20:49,242 Morning, Eddie! 748 01:20:49,307 --> 01:20:51,510 Good morning! 749 01:20:58,251 --> 01:21:00,452 Yes! 750 01:21:52,337 --> 01:21:53,438 Holy-moly! 751 01:22:02,747 --> 01:22:04,783 It's a Christmas miracle. 752 01:22:04,850 --> 01:22:09,487 And it's not even Christmas. 753 01:22:09,554 --> 01:22:10,655 It is now. 754 01:22:30,109 --> 01:22:31,043 It's a miracle! 755 01:22:31,110 --> 01:22:32,611 Come see a miracle! 756 01:22:37,083 --> 01:22:38,317 Merry Christmas, everyone! 757 01:22:38,383 --> 01:22:39,885 Merry Christmas! 758 01:22:39,952 --> 01:22:42,721 Come to the field and see it's a Christmas miracle! 759 01:22:42,787 --> 01:22:44,123 Merry Christmas, everyone! 760 01:22:44,190 --> 01:22:45,690 Merry Christmas! 761 01:22:45,757 --> 01:22:48,027 Come to the field and see it's a Christmas miracle! 762 01:22:48,094 --> 01:22:49,295 Merry Christmas, everyone! 763 01:22:49,362 --> 01:22:50,862 Merry Christmas! 764 01:22:50,930 --> 01:22:54,766 Come to the field and see it's a Christmas miracle! 765 01:22:54,833 --> 01:22:58,770 Come to the field and see it's a Christmas miracle! 766 01:22:58,837 --> 01:23:00,940 Merry Christmas, everyone! 767 01:23:01,007 --> 01:23:02,507 Merry Christmas! 768 01:23:14,954 --> 01:23:16,322 Hey! 769 01:23:16,389 --> 01:23:18,224 People on the internet are trying 770 01:23:18,291 --> 01:23:20,525 to get my TV show back on. 771 01:23:20,592 --> 01:23:23,862 And I think my nose hairs have stopped growing. 772 01:23:23,930 --> 01:23:25,364 Great! 773 01:23:25,430 --> 01:23:26,431 I'm happy for you. 774 01:23:40,079 --> 01:23:41,147 I got nothing. 775 01:23:44,649 --> 01:23:46,252 They're real! 776 01:23:46,319 --> 01:23:48,187 How did you do that? 777 01:23:48,254 --> 01:23:50,156 It's an act of God. 778 01:23:50,222 --> 01:23:52,158 He still works. 779 01:23:52,224 --> 01:23:55,460 But you know that. 780 01:23:55,527 --> 01:23:57,862 I owe you an apology. 781 01:23:57,930 --> 01:23:59,531 For what? 782 01:23:59,597 --> 01:24:02,134 I never asked you what your wife was like. 783 01:24:06,172 --> 01:24:07,006 You're looking at her. 784 01:24:11,210 --> 01:24:15,114 You did those Marines right, sir. 785 01:24:15,181 --> 01:24:16,315 Ouch. 786 01:24:16,382 --> 01:24:17,149 Did you tell him? 787 01:24:17,216 --> 01:24:18,150 Did you tell him? 788 01:24:18,217 --> 01:24:20,719 Tell me what? 789 01:24:20,785 --> 01:24:23,222 I'm going to get her a proper ring. 790 01:24:23,289 --> 01:24:25,157 I'm proud of you. 791 01:24:25,224 --> 01:24:25,924 Yeah! 792 01:24:25,992 --> 01:24:27,792 You better! 793 01:24:28,928 --> 01:24:29,828 OK. 794 01:24:29,894 --> 01:24:32,465 OK. 795 01:24:36,235 --> 01:24:37,136 Yes. Yes! 796 01:24:37,203 --> 01:24:38,170 Yes! 797 01:24:38,237 --> 01:24:40,505 Let's have Christmas dinner! 798 01:25:16,409 --> 01:25:20,012 You must have run across the entire state of Colorado 799 01:25:20,079 --> 01:25:25,217 yelling Merry Christmas to get all these people here. 800 01:25:25,284 --> 01:25:27,652 It was on the internet. 801 01:25:27,719 --> 01:25:30,122 You shouldn't be on the internet. 802 01:25:32,258 --> 01:25:34,460 It wasn't me. 803 01:25:34,527 --> 01:25:35,294 It was her. 804 01:25:44,070 --> 01:25:46,138 You did a great thing for these people, dad. 805 01:25:50,509 --> 01:25:51,743 I did it to let your mom go. 806 01:25:57,249 --> 01:25:59,584 Let's eat! 807 01:25:59,651 --> 01:26:01,753 We should pray first. 808 01:26:05,391 --> 01:26:06,492 Just be honest. 809 01:26:06,559 --> 01:26:07,692 Say what's in your heart. 810 01:26:20,139 --> 01:26:26,579 God, thank you for making those seeds grow into flowers 811 01:26:26,644 --> 01:26:27,879 so today can feel special. 812 01:26:31,584 --> 01:26:32,717 Thank you for Baby Jesus. 813 01:26:35,787 --> 01:26:39,291 I know Christmas isn't about getting presents, 814 01:26:39,358 --> 01:26:42,328 but I see someone brought chocolate cake... 815 01:26:43,661 --> 01:26:45,797 ...so that's kind of like a present. 816 01:26:45,864 --> 01:26:47,665 So thank you for that, too. 817 01:26:50,236 --> 01:26:58,511 But most of all, God, show us how to want what you want. 818 01:26:58,577 --> 01:26:59,278 Amen. 819 01:26:59,345 --> 01:27:02,281 Amen. 820 01:27:28,340 --> 01:27:29,341 No, no, no. 821 01:27:29,408 --> 01:27:30,209 Nobody wants to hear me sing. 822 01:27:30,276 --> 01:27:32,278 Yes, we do! 823 01:27:34,113 --> 01:27:35,314 I don't know what to sing. 824 01:27:40,619 --> 01:27:41,886 OK. 825 01:27:41,954 --> 01:27:43,922 But I only know one Christmas song. 826 01:27:43,989 --> 01:27:45,658 It's not Christmas. 827 01:27:45,723 --> 01:27:47,993 Yes, it is! 828 01:27:48,060 --> 01:27:49,995 [SINGING] Deck the hall with boughs 829 01:27:50,062 --> 01:27:54,567 of holly, fala lala la lala la. 830 01:27:54,633 --> 01:28:01,006 'Tis the season to be jolly fala lala la lala la la. 831 01:28:01,073 --> 01:28:07,613 Don we know our gay apparel, fala la lala la la la la. 832 01:28:07,680 --> 01:28:13,751 Troll the ancient Yuletide carol, fala lala la lala la la. 833 01:28:21,560 --> 01:28:22,860 I want you to have this. 834 01:28:27,266 --> 01:28:29,535 There are so many important stories in this book 835 01:28:29,602 --> 01:28:32,104 that you need to learn. 836 01:28:32,171 --> 01:28:34,073 Thank you. 837 01:28:35,207 --> 01:28:37,943 It's the road map to a better life. 838 01:28:38,010 --> 01:28:41,347 It's been proven to work. 839 01:28:41,413 --> 01:28:42,348 Read it every day. 840 01:28:45,284 --> 01:28:46,818 That way, I'll see you again. 841 01:28:53,592 --> 01:28:56,262 What do you mean? 842 01:28:56,328 --> 01:29:00,099 Kid, it's time for me to meet the Jesus 843 01:29:00,165 --> 01:29:02,501 I bumped into long ago. 844 01:29:02,568 --> 01:29:04,036 I'm going to get help! 845 01:29:04,103 --> 01:29:06,105 No. 846 01:29:09,241 --> 01:29:10,442 I want to be with my wife. 847 01:29:15,481 --> 01:29:17,383 [inaudible] but... 848 01:29:17,449 --> 01:29:20,286 It's OK. 849 01:29:20,352 --> 01:29:21,420 It's all right. 850 01:29:31,664 --> 01:29:32,864 Of course. 851 01:29:32,931 --> 01:29:34,866 The knot. 852 01:29:34,933 --> 01:29:36,101 What? 853 01:29:36,168 --> 01:29:38,604 The knot in the tree. 854 01:29:38,671 --> 01:29:40,872 What about it? 855 01:29:42,107 --> 01:29:43,208 Plug the chord into it. 856 01:34:26,525 --> 01:34:28,193 I can't wait for the sequel! 857 01:34:31,030 --> 01:34:32,464 No. 858 01:35:27,452 --> 01:35:32,452 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 58186

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