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1
00:00:01,537 --> 00:00:03,173
[upbeat music]
2
00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:04,810
I'm searching and searching
3
00:00:04,877 --> 00:00:06,547
and just before
I make a decision,
4
00:00:06,614 --> 00:00:07,782
I become paralyzed.
5
00:00:07,849 --> 00:00:09,285
Am I making the right choice
6
00:00:09,352 --> 00:00:11,356
or is there something better
around the corner?
7
00:00:11,422 --> 00:00:14,061
Well, remember, Diablo,
life gives you
8
00:00:14,128 --> 00:00:16,332
many opportunities
to make pee‐pee.
9
00:00:16,399 --> 00:00:17,969
I urinate once a week
10
00:00:18,036 --> 00:00:19,773
and I don't seem to have
a problem.
11
00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:20,808
[siren wailing]
Is that‐‐
12
00:00:20,875 --> 00:00:21,877
It's the woo‐woos!
[howling]
13
00:00:21,944 --> 00:00:22,879
Oh, God!
[howling]
14
00:00:22,946 --> 00:00:25,083
It's the woo‐woos!
[all howling and yelling]
15
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:26,452
It's the woo‐woos!
16
00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:27,589
[howling]
17
00:00:27,656 --> 00:00:28,691
It's the woo‐woos.
18
00:00:28,758 --> 00:00:29,993
It's the woo‐pocalypse!
19
00:00:30,060 --> 00:00:32,164
I'm not ready!
20
00:00:32,231 --> 00:00:34,135
[laughing]
[screaming]
21
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,707
For the love of God!
22
00:00:36,774 --> 00:00:40,815
[howling and meowing]
23
00:00:40,882 --> 00:00:41,951
What!?
24
00:00:42,017 --> 00:00:43,153
Whoa!
25
00:00:43,219 --> 00:00:45,758
[howling and yelling]
26
00:00:45,825 --> 00:00:47,027
It's gone.
27
00:00:47,094 --> 00:00:50,935
[whimpering]
28
00:00:51,002 --> 00:00:51,971
Oh, thank God.
29
00:00:52,037 --> 00:00:53,641
Good work, everyone.
30
00:00:53,708 --> 00:00:54,643
We did it.
31
00:00:54,710 --> 00:00:55,745
You're welcome.
32
00:00:55,812 --> 00:00:57,515
I pee‐peed.
33
00:00:57,582 --> 00:00:58,985
I don't think the woo‐woos
34
00:00:59,051 --> 00:01:00,822
will be back any time soon.
35
00:01:00,888 --> 00:01:02,091
[screams]
[yelps]
36
00:01:02,157 --> 00:01:05,364
[upbeat rock music]
37
00:01:05,430 --> 00:01:08,537
[all singing on "ruff"]
38
00:01:08,604 --> 00:01:15,551
♪
39
00:01:17,154 --> 00:01:19,993
[all singing on "ruff"
and "meow"]
40
00:01:20,060 --> 00:01:27,374
♪
41
00:01:35,692 --> 00:01:37,829
[upbeat music]
42
00:01:37,896 --> 00:01:38,998
Lindsay and I‐‐
43
00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:40,735
Lindsay?
The shoe he's seeing.
44
00:01:40,802 --> 00:01:41,837
[clears throat]
45
00:01:41,904 --> 00:01:43,173
Lindsay and I
46
00:01:43,239 --> 00:01:45,945
have been pushing
the boundaries of our intimacy.
47
00:01:46,012 --> 00:01:47,147
Kay.
I'm out.
48
00:01:47,214 --> 00:01:49,519
That is to say, physically.
Come on!
49
00:01:49,586 --> 00:01:51,790
More specifically,
sexually.
50
00:01:51,857 --> 00:01:52,859
Ew.
I know.
51
00:01:52,926 --> 00:01:54,763
So, Chico, you said
52
00:01:54,830 --> 00:01:56,934
things were going better
with you and Kevin?
53
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,938
Yeah! Well, actually worse.
54
00:01:59,004 --> 00:02:00,140
Kevin left town again.
55
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:01,877
He doesn't show it,
but it's hard for him
56
00:02:01,944 --> 00:02:03,113
to be away from me.
57
00:02:03,179 --> 00:02:05,117
Ah, dude, get off.
[yowling]
58
00:02:05,183 --> 00:02:06,319
He said he'd be back soon,
59
00:02:06,385 --> 00:02:08,089
but he took
the bigger small bag
60
00:02:08,156 --> 00:02:09,693
and he left so much food,
and it's like‐‐
61
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,563
When your human
is arrested for stabbing
62
00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:13,032
the insurance fraud
investigator
63
00:02:13,099 --> 00:02:14,168
and her nephew comes over
64
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,305
and just dumps
dry kibble everywhere?
65
00:02:16,372 --> 00:02:18,944
Or like he's gonna
be gone a long time.
66
00:02:19,011 --> 00:02:22,317
And you ate all that food
because you were sad.
67
00:02:22,384 --> 00:02:24,656
Portion control's a bitch!
No.
68
00:02:24,723 --> 00:02:26,927
I can say the B‐word.
But you can't.
69
00:02:26,994 --> 00:02:30,267
Oh, I definitely overate,
but I did not eat all of it.
70
00:02:30,333 --> 00:02:32,037
It was a lot of food
for just one cat.
71
00:02:32,104 --> 00:02:34,441
Beats a lot of cat
for just one food.
72
00:02:34,509 --> 00:02:38,016
I'm just a girl
standing in front of a boy.
73
00:02:38,082 --> 00:02:41,957
[cats yowl]
74
00:02:43,393 --> 00:02:45,096
So your lady
never goes out of town?
75
00:02:45,163 --> 00:02:47,100
She never goes
out of the house.
76
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,506
Eh, humans.
They all look alike,
77
00:02:49,573 --> 00:02:52,244
but they each have their own
individual personalities.
78
00:02:52,311 --> 00:02:53,146
I'll say.
79
00:02:53,213 --> 00:02:54,716
My owners couldn't be
more different,
80
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,118
which probably explains
why they live
81
00:02:56,185 --> 00:02:57,454
in two different houses now
82
00:02:57,522 --> 00:03:00,227
and one of them is dating
a new human named Randy.
83
00:03:00,293 --> 00:03:01,730
But it turns out
being a dog of divorce
84
00:03:01,797 --> 00:03:03,634
is way better than
I thought it would be.
85
00:03:03,701 --> 00:03:06,439
Really?
Hello treats, goodbye treats,
86
00:03:06,506 --> 00:03:09,813
twice as many toys,
twice as many belly rubs.
87
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,351
I'm over the moon! Ba‐bam!
88
00:03:12,417 --> 00:03:14,856
Yes, ba‐bam.
89
00:03:14,923 --> 00:03:16,225
Yeah, and humping that pillow
90
00:03:16,292 --> 00:03:18,129
is a healthy way
to express yourself,
91
00:03:18,196 --> 00:03:20,066
but, um, save that for home.
92
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,703
Jill puts her face on that.
93
00:03:21,770 --> 00:03:24,676
[upbeat music]
94
00:03:24,743 --> 00:03:26,546
Psst. Psst.
95
00:03:26,613 --> 00:03:28,584
I wanna tell you something.
96
00:03:28,651 --> 00:03:30,320
Huh?
97
00:03:30,387 --> 00:03:33,059
Careful, Chief.
She's just gonna spray you.
98
00:03:33,126 --> 00:03:34,428
"Just"?
[scoffs]
99
00:03:34,495 --> 00:03:37,334
Um, Honey, when you've been
sprayed by a skunk
100
00:03:37,401 --> 00:03:38,436
as many times as I have,
101
00:03:38,504 --> 00:03:39,706
you get a feel for things.
102
00:03:39,773 --> 00:03:42,077
And I'm feeling pretty good
about this.
103
00:03:42,144 --> 00:03:43,681
Love your optimism.
104
00:03:45,785 --> 00:03:47,622
[sniffing]
105
00:03:47,689 --> 00:03:48,423
Hey.
106
00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:51,128
[sexy music]
107
00:03:51,195 --> 00:03:53,333
[gasps]
You come here often?
108
00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:54,268
I live here.
109
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,638
That was a joke.
Oh.
110
00:03:55,705 --> 00:03:58,309
[laughs]
111
00:03:58,376 --> 00:04:01,783
[cackles]
112
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:04,789
Sorry, that laugh
kinda got away from me.
113
00:04:04,856 --> 00:04:06,593
[whispering]
You've got to come closer.
114
00:04:06,660 --> 00:04:08,262
I don't want
the squirrels to hear.
115
00:04:08,329 --> 00:04:10,000
Yeah, that makes sense.
Good call.
116
00:04:10,066 --> 00:04:11,102
Promise me something.
117
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,805
No matter what happens,
118
00:04:12,872 --> 00:04:14,475
remember that I like you.
119
00:04:14,542 --> 00:04:15,911
Spin spray!
Oh!
120
00:04:15,978 --> 00:04:17,114
Ahh!
Oh, no.
121
00:04:17,180 --> 00:04:20,186
Oh, my God! Ah, it stings!
122
00:04:20,253 --> 00:04:22,525
Uh, okay,
if you'll excuse me,
123
00:04:22,592 --> 00:04:24,261
um, I just‐‐I got to get inside
124
00:04:24,328 --> 00:04:26,232
before I get
secondhand skunked.
125
00:04:26,298 --> 00:04:28,570
I'll be back.
Yes, okay‐‐wait, what?
126
00:04:28,637 --> 00:04:29,839
I said I'll be back.
127
00:04:29,906 --> 00:04:30,975
Oh, okay, yeah.
I can taste it in my eye!
128
00:04:31,042 --> 00:04:32,310
Well, so will I.
129
00:04:32,377 --> 00:04:34,181
It's a date then.
Okay, yeah.
130
00:04:34,248 --> 00:04:35,183
Wait, a date?
[screaming]
131
00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:36,820
With a coyote?
[chuckles]
132
00:04:36,887 --> 00:04:38,590
Oh, I mean, I can't.
133
00:04:38,657 --> 00:04:41,295
I mean, whatever.
But, you know.
134
00:04:41,362 --> 00:04:43,299
Yeah, no. Bye!
135
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:44,368
Oof!
136
00:04:44,435 --> 00:04:47,107
Touch everything!
[whimpering]
137
00:04:47,174 --> 00:04:49,311
Touch everything.
Touch everything.
138
00:04:49,378 --> 00:04:50,714
Touch everything!
139
00:04:50,781 --> 00:04:51,817
[whimpers]
140
00:04:51,883 --> 00:04:52,752
[gasps]
Honey!
141
00:04:52,819 --> 00:04:54,656
No, oh, don't‐‐
no, now don't‐‐
142
00:04:54,722 --> 00:04:55,991
please don't bring me
into this!
143
00:04:56,058 --> 00:04:57,394
No! No, no!
144
00:04:57,461 --> 00:04:58,864
This is your no‐no!
145
00:04:58,931 --> 00:04:59,766
[sighs]
146
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:02,572
I think I got most of it off.
147
00:05:02,638 --> 00:05:04,241
Chief, Chief, Chief.
148
00:05:04,308 --> 00:05:06,278
What am I ever
gonna do with you?
149
00:05:06,345 --> 00:05:08,483
Why does she keep
saying that?
150
00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:10,320
What is she gonna do with me?
151
00:05:10,386 --> 00:05:13,126
Honey, how can we get him
to be more like you?
152
00:05:13,192 --> 00:05:14,194
[gasps]
153
00:05:14,261 --> 00:05:15,396
Are you in on it?
154
00:05:15,463 --> 00:05:16,867
Where are we going?
155
00:05:16,933 --> 00:05:18,336
It's gonna be okay.
156
00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:21,041
We only ever go
three places, right?
157
00:05:21,108 --> 00:05:22,678
The park‐‐
Love the park.
158
00:05:22,745 --> 00:05:24,481
The vet‐‐
Damn that man!
159
00:05:24,549 --> 00:05:25,651
Or the groomer.
160
00:05:25,718 --> 00:05:27,522
Uh‐huh. And what's the third?
161
00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:29,091
No, that was it.
162
00:05:29,158 --> 00:05:30,493
Let's not have another argument
163
00:05:30,561 --> 00:05:32,430
about what "three" means.
164
00:05:32,497 --> 00:05:35,370
[rock music]
165
00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:36,506
[knocking]
166
00:05:36,573 --> 00:05:37,575
The Gray One?
167
00:05:37,642 --> 00:05:39,712
Hey! Yeah, can I come in?
168
00:05:39,779 --> 00:05:41,048
Uh, yeah.
169
00:05:41,115 --> 00:05:42,350
Hold on. Hol‐‐hold on, though.
170
00:05:42,417 --> 00:05:43,654
Ah, I got it.
171
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:47,127
[straining]
Don't worry.
172
00:05:47,194 --> 00:05:48,496
What are you doing here?
173
00:05:48,564 --> 00:05:49,566
Well, it just sounded like
174
00:05:49,632 --> 00:05:50,534
you were trying to tell us
175
00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:51,603
you were lonely today,
176
00:05:51,670 --> 00:05:53,472
so I thought I'd come by
177
00:05:53,540 --> 00:05:55,276
and keep you company.
178
00:05:55,343 --> 00:05:56,278
Whoa!
179
00:05:56,345 --> 00:05:59,886
You were not kidding
about the food surplus.
180
00:05:59,953 --> 00:06:01,255
This is all for you?
181
00:06:01,322 --> 00:06:02,825
Yeah, have some.
182
00:06:02,892 --> 00:06:03,961
Kevin doesn't mind.
183
00:06:04,027 --> 00:06:05,898
I pretend this is Kevin
when he's out of town.
184
00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:07,602
[inhales]
Oh.
185
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,406
So what are we watching?
186
00:06:10,473 --> 00:06:12,377
Kevin leaves the yellow ball
on for me.
187
00:06:12,444 --> 00:06:14,582
[whacking]
188
00:06:14,649 --> 00:06:15,651
Where did he go?
189
00:06:15,718 --> 00:06:16,987
You know, I don't know.
190
00:06:17,053 --> 00:06:17,989
I think it has to do with
191
00:06:18,055 --> 00:06:20,828
his "soul‐sucking job,"
whatever that is.
192
00:06:20,894 --> 00:06:22,632
Uh, it must be
pretty important.
193
00:06:22,698 --> 00:06:24,836
I mean, why else
would you leave all this?
194
00:06:24,902 --> 00:06:26,071
Sounds like you got
a pretty good setup
195
00:06:26,138 --> 00:06:27,140
at your place, too.
196
00:06:27,207 --> 00:06:29,278
You must never get lonely.
197
00:06:29,344 --> 00:06:30,280
Nope.
198
00:06:30,346 --> 00:06:32,150
[yowling]
199
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:35,423
I'll kill you!
Hey, occupied!
200
00:06:35,490 --> 00:06:36,559
You guys mind?
201
00:06:36,626 --> 00:06:39,264
I'm trying
to bury myself alive.
202
00:06:39,331 --> 00:06:42,337
Yeah, I got 40 best friends.
203
00:06:42,404 --> 00:06:44,341
Well, 39 now.
204
00:06:44,408 --> 00:06:46,546
Bump it back up to 40.
205
00:06:46,613 --> 00:06:47,782
[as Kevin]
41!
206
00:06:47,848 --> 00:06:49,852
Ooh, Hoodie Kevin likes you.
207
00:06:49,919 --> 00:06:52,625
[upbeat music]
208
00:06:52,692 --> 00:06:54,127
Yeah, I'm sorry, excuse me.
209
00:06:54,194 --> 00:06:57,233
Um, who do I talk to
about the neckerchiefs?
210
00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:59,872
I am told
I look great in green.
211
00:06:59,939 --> 00:07:01,408
Please don't cut my ear
like last time.
212
00:07:01,475 --> 00:07:02,978
Please don't cut my ear
like last time.
213
00:07:03,045 --> 00:07:05,183
But then Biscuit said
that Teddy said
214
00:07:05,249 --> 00:07:07,053
that Banjo said that Tiny said
215
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,859
that Socks denied everything.
216
00:07:09,926 --> 00:07:12,130
No!
Yes.
217
00:07:12,197 --> 00:07:13,967
She just needs
a regular bath.
218
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:16,573
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
she's special.
219
00:07:16,639 --> 00:07:19,144
She deserves a special cut.
220
00:07:19,211 --> 00:07:20,647
Let's do something different.
221
00:07:20,714 --> 00:07:22,183
Yes, something wild!
222
00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:24,922
Come on, Jill. We need this.
223
00:07:24,989 --> 00:07:27,561
I'm thinking about
something that, mm,
224
00:07:27,628 --> 00:07:29,064
you know, frames her face.
225
00:07:29,131 --> 00:07:31,068
Yes, frame it!
Frame the hell out of it!
226
00:07:31,135 --> 00:07:32,938
Okay, let's do it!
227
00:07:33,005 --> 00:07:35,076
Yes, that's what
I'm talking about!
228
00:07:35,143 --> 00:07:37,046
[dreamy harp plays]
229
00:07:37,113 --> 00:07:40,453
♪ When I'm walking,
I hold my own leash ♪
230
00:07:40,521 --> 00:07:44,094
♪ No, I'm not joking around,
capisce? ♪
231
00:07:44,161 --> 00:07:47,100
♪ I'm not gonna get down
and plead ♪
232
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:50,607
♪ This soggy sex puppy is
what you need ♪
233
00:07:50,674 --> 00:07:53,112
Whoa.
[growls sexily]
234
00:07:53,179 --> 00:07:54,481
[razor buzzing]
235
00:07:54,549 --> 00:07:55,551
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
236
00:07:55,617 --> 00:07:56,786
Oh, it tickles.
237
00:07:56,853 --> 00:07:59,157
But in a good way.
[giggles]
238
00:07:59,224 --> 00:08:01,061
Honey, highly recommend!
239
00:08:01,128 --> 00:08:02,565
[giggles]
Whoa!
240
00:08:02,631 --> 00:08:05,403
[rock music]
241
00:08:05,470 --> 00:08:06,539
[kisses]
242
00:08:06,606 --> 00:08:07,541
Bye, buddy.
243
00:08:07,608 --> 00:08:08,610
And remember,
244
00:08:08,677 --> 00:08:10,346
nobody loves you
more than Daddy.
245
00:08:10,413 --> 00:08:12,651
Because Mommy
only loves herself.
246
00:08:12,718 --> 00:08:14,454
Come here, baby.
247
00:08:14,522 --> 00:08:15,624
You don't have to worry about
248
00:08:15,691 --> 00:08:17,995
managing Daddy's
emotions anymore.
249
00:08:19,030 --> 00:08:20,567
Uh, this is mine.
250
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:22,638
[vase shatters]
Yes, it's Randy.
251
00:08:22,705 --> 00:08:24,976
You love Randy!
252
00:08:25,042 --> 00:08:27,213
I forgot
about Randy treats.
253
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:28,783
[laughs]
Everyone's relaxed.
254
00:08:28,850 --> 00:08:31,121
We're creating
positive associations.
255
00:08:31,188 --> 00:08:33,660
And bring him in, Randy!
256
00:08:33,727 --> 00:08:35,764
There you go, buddy.
It's okay.
257
00:08:35,831 --> 00:08:37,668
[cooing]
Who's that, Diablo?
258
00:08:37,735 --> 00:08:39,004
Does he smell like Randy?
Woof.
259
00:08:39,070 --> 00:08:40,339
Huh?
Woof!
260
00:08:40,406 --> 00:08:41,141
What's happening?
261
00:08:41,208 --> 00:08:43,412
Play nice, buddy.
[babbling]
262
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,383
What?
263
00:08:45,449 --> 00:08:46,853
Oh.
264
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,357
[giggling]
What kind of dog are you?
265
00:08:49,424 --> 00:08:51,930
[upbeat music]
266
00:08:51,996 --> 00:08:55,236
Oh, is it a little severe?
267
00:08:55,303 --> 00:08:58,309
Yeah.
268
00:08:58,375 --> 00:08:59,679
Oh.
269
00:08:59,745 --> 00:09:00,847
Oh, my God!
270
00:09:00,914 --> 00:09:03,052
I look even more handsome
in red!
271
00:09:07,226 --> 00:09:08,329
[upbeat music]
272
00:09:08,395 --> 00:09:09,632
Well, just when things
273
00:09:09,699 --> 00:09:11,703
were starting to look up
for the Big D,
274
00:09:11,769 --> 00:09:15,209
a freaky bald dog in a diaper
danced into my life.
275
00:09:15,276 --> 00:09:16,411
Sounds like a pug.
276
00:09:16,478 --> 00:09:19,652
I honestly think this sounds
like a young human being.
277
00:09:19,719 --> 00:09:21,455
Have you tried making friends
with it?
278
00:09:21,522 --> 00:09:23,860
Sometimes new friends
are the best kind.
279
00:09:23,927 --> 00:09:26,031
Are you winking at me?
Don't wink at me.
280
00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:28,937
We're not friends.
Nah, he's talking about me.
281
00:09:29,004 --> 00:09:31,408
You guys are hanging out
outside the group?
282
00:09:31,475 --> 00:09:32,778
Cat's out of the bag.
283
00:09:32,845 --> 00:09:34,882
Yeah, The Gray One came by
to keep me company
284
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,653
since Kevin's out of town.
Mm.
285
00:09:36,719 --> 00:09:38,055
And you're sure
he didn't come over
286
00:09:38,122 --> 00:09:41,395
to keep you company
since the food is in town?
287
00:09:41,461 --> 00:09:42,598
Whoa, whoa, what?
288
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:45,169
I mean, is that
even a sentence?
289
00:09:45,236 --> 00:09:46,204
What are you saying?
290
00:09:46,271 --> 00:09:48,777
I'm sorry, I can't focus
when Honey's haircut
291
00:09:48,843 --> 00:09:52,350
remind me of every mistake
I ever make.
292
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:53,620
Why we not talking about it?
293
00:09:53,687 --> 00:09:55,957
Obviously we need
to talk about it.
294
00:09:56,024 --> 00:09:58,697
Really?
So you guys don't like it?
295
00:09:58,763 --> 00:10:01,769
It's making me angry.
I wanna kick its ass!
296
00:10:01,836 --> 00:10:04,307
You won't find
that shape in nature.
297
00:10:04,374 --> 00:10:06,144
I'm sitting on a million.
298
00:10:06,211 --> 00:10:08,917
Hey, guess what?
The 23andMe results came back
299
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,754
and it turns out
you're a microwave.
300
00:10:10,821 --> 00:10:12,256
[laughter]
Ooh!
301
00:10:12,323 --> 00:10:15,429
Looks like Boxing Day came
before Christmas this year.
302
00:10:15,496 --> 00:10:16,733
[laughter]
303
00:10:16,799 --> 00:10:18,670
This is the worst block party
304
00:10:18,737 --> 00:10:20,707
I've been to.
[laughter]
305
00:10:20,774 --> 00:10:22,845
This guy knows
what I'm talkin' about.
306
00:10:22,911 --> 00:10:25,116
[laughter]
Oh, yeah, it's square.
307
00:10:25,182 --> 00:10:26,284
That is a square.
308
00:10:26,351 --> 00:10:27,320
Oh, no, he didn't.
309
00:10:27,386 --> 00:10:29,892
Is there a weasel that
pops out of that thing?
310
00:10:29,959 --> 00:10:32,296
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
It's great.
311
00:10:32,363 --> 00:10:35,771
Honey, you're a Rubik's‐You.
Ow! That's my time!
312
00:10:35,837 --> 00:10:37,641
Good night, everyone!
313
00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:38,777
Ha, ha, ha.
314
00:10:38,843 --> 00:10:40,514
Well, we've had our fun.
315
00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:41,816
Let's move on
to something else.
316
00:10:41,883 --> 00:10:44,287
[chuckles]
Is‐‐is that your head or a‐‐
317
00:10:44,354 --> 00:10:46,091
Not you. We're done.
318
00:10:47,728 --> 00:10:51,268
[howling]
319
00:10:51,334 --> 00:10:53,238
[R&B music]
320
00:10:53,305 --> 00:10:56,913
♪ Soggy sex puppy is
what you need ♪
321
00:10:56,979 --> 00:11:00,654
♪ Soggy sex puppy,
it's what you need ♪
322
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:02,156
Oh, yeah, it's square.
323
00:11:02,223 --> 00:11:03,225
That is a square.
324
00:11:03,292 --> 00:11:05,329
[laughs]
325
00:11:05,396 --> 00:11:06,464
I cannot go out there
326
00:11:06,532 --> 00:11:09,505
and let Coyote see me
like this.
327
00:11:09,572 --> 00:11:11,509
Aw, what's the matter?
328
00:11:11,576 --> 00:11:12,744
Why won't you come outside?
329
00:11:12,811 --> 00:11:15,149
It's perfect pooping weather.
I'm good.
330
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,921
I dropped the puppies off
at the park this morning.
331
00:11:17,988 --> 00:11:19,959
Is this about
your weird haircut?
332
00:11:20,025 --> 00:11:23,131
Yeah, I thought it would
be fun to have a new look.
333
00:11:23,198 --> 00:11:25,670
But instead I look
like a mini fridge.
334
00:11:25,737 --> 00:11:27,708
Ah, there's one Max didn't say.
335
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:30,045
Aw, babe, I don't care
what you look like.
336
00:11:30,112 --> 00:11:31,549
You still smell the same.
337
00:11:31,616 --> 00:11:32,684
That's right.
338
00:11:32,751 --> 00:11:34,120
And does it really look
that bad?
339
00:11:34,187 --> 00:11:35,790
Yeah, no, total disaster.
340
00:11:35,857 --> 00:11:37,628
But, I mean,
what does it matter?
341
00:11:37,694 --> 00:11:39,197
Right? Come on. You got a date?
342
00:11:39,264 --> 00:11:41,869
What? A d‐‐of course not!
Why would I?
343
00:11:41,936 --> 00:11:43,673
How would I? That's so crazy.
344
00:11:43,740 --> 00:11:45,109
[laughing hysterically]
345
00:11:45,175 --> 00:11:49,484
That's crazy!
Oh, Chief, you kill me.
346
00:11:49,551 --> 00:11:52,791
[energetic rock music]
347
00:11:52,858 --> 00:11:55,664
[tennis rackets whacking]
348
00:11:55,730 --> 00:11:59,337
[grunting]
349
00:11:59,404 --> 00:12:00,840
Hey, open the door.
350
00:12:00,907 --> 00:12:03,178
Ignore him, Hoodie Kevin.
351
00:12:03,245 --> 00:12:04,347
[tense music]
352
00:12:04,414 --> 00:12:07,521
Oh, no, you let
Elsa get in your head?
353
00:12:07,587 --> 00:12:09,825
She's just‐‐oh, no!
354
00:12:09,892 --> 00:12:11,896
She's just threatened
by our friendship,
355
00:12:11,963 --> 00:12:14,233
which is based on
sharing food‐‐
356
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,202
no!
357
00:12:15,269 --> 00:12:18,710
And companionship!
You didn't let me finish!
358
00:12:18,776 --> 00:12:20,479
What are you doing?
359
00:12:20,547 --> 00:12:21,716
Don't do that!
360
00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:24,253
[gasps, struggles]
361
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:25,422
[pants]
362
00:12:25,489 --> 00:12:26,625
[vacuum whirring]
363
00:12:26,692 --> 00:12:31,468
Chico, that little round car
is eating all the food!
364
00:12:31,535 --> 00:12:34,273
Hoodie Kevin, stop this!
365
00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:38,081
I can hold it until morning.
366
00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:39,885
I've lasted way longer
than this,
367
00:12:39,952 --> 00:12:42,356
and I wasn't even trying.
368
00:12:42,423 --> 00:12:44,828
[tiny fart]
Ooh. Okay, new plan.
369
00:12:44,895 --> 00:12:46,766
I'm just gonna
quickly run outside,
370
00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:48,168
do my poodle doodle,
and then come back.
371
00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:51,609
That handsome, mysterious
coyote won't see me.
372
00:12:51,675 --> 00:12:52,611
And you know what?
[farts]
373
00:12:52,677 --> 00:12:55,750
what if he does? Who cares?
374
00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,453
When did I get so vain?
375
00:12:57,521 --> 00:12:59,090
I mean, what am I? A cat?
376
00:12:59,157 --> 00:13:01,562
[barks]
Oh, my God, that's me.
377
00:13:01,629 --> 00:13:03,098
Okay, no,
I'm not going out there.
378
00:13:03,165 --> 00:13:06,371
Honey, please.
I have a big day tomorrow.
379
00:13:08,275 --> 00:13:10,479
Huh. Huh.
380
00:13:10,547 --> 00:13:12,283
[whines]
381
00:13:12,349 --> 00:13:14,120
Well, now I'm up.
382
00:13:17,727 --> 00:13:19,297
Look how comfortable
they are.
383
00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:21,669
The key is that we handled
the introduction correctly.
384
00:13:21,735 --> 00:13:23,338
That was all you, babe.
385
00:13:23,405 --> 00:13:24,340
Ooh, get over here.
386
00:13:24,407 --> 00:13:26,946
[sexy sax music]
387
00:13:27,012 --> 00:13:28,181
[babbles]
388
00:13:28,248 --> 00:13:31,121
Excuse me, this is mine.
389
00:13:31,187 --> 00:13:32,056
Let go.
390
00:13:32,123 --> 00:13:33,659
[babbles]
What are you saying?
391
00:13:33,726 --> 00:13:35,062
I'm not barking, dog.
392
00:13:35,129 --> 00:13:38,201
[babbles angrily]
Why are you barking, Ian?
393
00:13:39,237 --> 00:13:42,811
This sounds like
a young human being.
394
00:13:42,878 --> 00:13:44,147
Oh!
[cries]
395
00:13:44,213 --> 00:13:45,550
No, Diablo, no!
Your dog bit my son!
396
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:46,585
Oh, no.
397
00:13:46,652 --> 00:13:49,525
[upbeat music]
398
00:13:49,591 --> 00:13:52,196
[snoring]
399
00:13:52,263 --> 00:13:54,500
Good morning, angels.
400
00:13:54,568 --> 00:13:55,837
I'll see you tonight.
401
00:13:55,904 --> 00:13:57,406
It's morning. I made it!
402
00:13:57,473 --> 00:13:58,743
I made it, I made it!
403
00:13:58,809 --> 00:14:01,147
[groans]
404
00:14:01,214 --> 00:14:01,949
Come on!
405
00:14:02,016 --> 00:14:03,753
Let's make
the most of this day.
406
00:14:03,819 --> 00:14:06,559
[determined music]
407
00:14:06,625 --> 00:14:08,529
[yawns]
408
00:14:08,596 --> 00:14:11,134
Ah, who's the best dog?
Huh?
409
00:14:11,201 --> 00:14:12,236
I am.
410
00:14:12,303 --> 00:14:13,371
[farts]
411
00:14:13,438 --> 00:14:15,375
Aw, crap.
412
00:14:18,549 --> 00:14:19,585
I pooped in the house.
413
00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:20,687
I pooped in the house!
414
00:14:20,753 --> 00:14:22,356
Chief, I pooped in the house!
415
00:14:22,423 --> 00:14:25,730
You haven't had an accident
since you were a puppy!
416
00:14:25,797 --> 00:14:28,536
Oh, no. This is not who I am.
417
00:14:28,603 --> 00:14:30,105
[gasps]
Poor Jill!
418
00:14:30,172 --> 00:14:31,709
This will destroy her!
419
00:14:31,775 --> 00:14:33,846
I'm her perfect, poofy
princess girl!
420
00:14:33,913 --> 00:14:37,119
Oh, Chief, why did you
let Skunk spray you?
421
00:14:37,186 --> 00:14:39,490
What does that have to do
with you pooping in the house?
422
00:14:39,558 --> 00:14:41,829
Because I wouldn't have
gone to the groomer,
423
00:14:41,895 --> 00:14:43,131
gotten this stupid haircut,
424
00:14:43,198 --> 00:14:45,603
and been too embarrassed
to go outside.
425
00:14:45,670 --> 00:14:46,572
And‐‐oh, forget it.
426
00:14:46,639 --> 00:14:49,477
Relax, I'll hide
the evidence for you.
427
00:14:49,544 --> 00:14:50,445
Eh, it's too risky.
428
00:14:50,513 --> 00:14:51,882
You might just make
a bigger mess.
429
00:14:51,949 --> 00:14:55,355
Let's just say
there will be no mess.
430
00:14:55,422 --> 00:14:56,224
Ew.
431
00:14:56,291 --> 00:14:57,961
That's very chivalrous
of you, Chief,
432
00:14:58,028 --> 00:14:59,698
yeah, but this is my mess.
433
00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:02,036
You'd do it for me.
Eh, I don't think so.
434
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,471
Oh, come on.
Yes, you would.
435
00:15:03,539 --> 00:15:05,677
If I really needed you to.
Probably not.
436
00:15:05,743 --> 00:15:07,914
What if it was
my birthday, huh?
437
00:15:07,981 --> 00:15:09,350
Huh? Huh?
438
00:15:09,417 --> 00:15:11,989
[cheery music]
439
00:15:12,056 --> 00:15:14,126
Hello, everybody.
[chuckles]
440
00:15:14,193 --> 00:15:17,701
Um, keeping in mind
that this is a safe space,
441
00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:19,771
I‐‐I need to share something,
442
00:15:19,838 --> 00:15:22,811
um, embarrassing with‐‐
with all of you.
443
00:15:22,877 --> 00:15:25,650
Um...although,
nothing is unforgivable‐‐
444
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:26,785
I bit a child.
[all gasp]
445
00:15:26,852 --> 00:15:28,054
What!?
Oh, my God!
446
00:15:28,121 --> 00:15:30,025
I'm hyperventilating.
That's a big oopsie.
447
00:15:30,092 --> 00:15:33,131
I expected a wider range
of reactions.
448
00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:34,701
Why? You bit a kid.
449
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,170
You do not do that.
450
00:15:36,237 --> 00:15:39,009
You take it, you take it,
and you take it!
451
00:15:39,076 --> 00:15:42,483
I had a feeling
it might be a kid.
452
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:43,619
Remember, everyone?
453
00:15:43,686 --> 00:15:45,590
It's the crate for you.
454
00:15:45,656 --> 00:15:49,731
Diablo, we are animals,
but we are pets first.
455
00:15:49,798 --> 00:15:52,202
And pets do not bite people.
456
00:15:52,269 --> 00:15:54,608
We can't let our instincts
take over.
457
00:15:54,674 --> 00:15:57,947
We need to inhibit bites,
show obedience,
458
00:15:58,014 --> 00:16:01,320
delay gratification,
practice discipline,
459
00:16:01,387 --> 00:16:03,859
sit, stay, come,
fetch, roll over,
460
00:16:03,926 --> 00:16:06,532
and don't poop in the house!
461
00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:08,368
Well, somebody did.
462
00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:09,871
Ooh.
463
00:16:09,938 --> 00:16:12,376
I don't recollect,
but then again‐‐
464
00:16:12,443 --> 00:16:14,514
It was here when we got here.
465
00:16:14,581 --> 00:16:15,650
Was it your human?
466
00:16:15,716 --> 00:16:17,821
No, it was me. I did it!
467
00:16:17,887 --> 00:16:20,192
I pooped in the house
like a bad girl!
468
00:16:20,258 --> 00:16:21,895
[all gasp]
Oh, yikes.
469
00:16:21,962 --> 00:16:24,968
Indoor number two
is the number one no‐no.
470
00:16:25,035 --> 00:16:26,772
Yeah, you think
I don't know that, Elsa?
471
00:16:26,839 --> 00:16:28,709
I know that, Elsa!
472
00:16:28,776 --> 00:16:32,049
I smell it and I am kitten
in cardboard box,
473
00:16:32,115 --> 00:16:33,819
calling for my mother.
474
00:16:33,886 --> 00:16:35,823
I have made a mess, Mama.
475
00:16:35,890 --> 00:16:38,394
Won't you clean me?
476
00:16:38,461 --> 00:16:40,933
Yeah, Jill is
more than a mother.
477
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,739
She's my best friend, my queen,
478
00:16:43,806 --> 00:16:46,444
and my food source all in one.
479
00:16:46,512 --> 00:16:50,118
I can't bear to disappoint her.
480
00:16:50,185 --> 00:16:51,187
I know what you mean.
481
00:16:51,254 --> 00:16:54,260
It really sucks
to disappoint your best friend.
482
00:16:54,326 --> 00:16:56,532
Are you sure you don't mean
"food source"?
483
00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:58,536
I'll admit,
that's how it started.
484
00:16:58,602 --> 00:16:59,738
Which, I guess,
is understandable.
485
00:16:59,804 --> 00:17:03,011
I'm gradually realizing that
your home life is horrific.
486
00:17:03,077 --> 00:17:04,614
Thank you, Cheeks.
487
00:17:04,681 --> 00:17:05,950
I'm sorry I‐‐
[gasps]
488
00:17:06,017 --> 00:17:07,820
Did you just give me
a nickname?
489
00:17:07,887 --> 00:17:09,490
Sort of.
Aw.
490
00:17:09,558 --> 00:17:12,564
So he gives you
a lame nickname
491
00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:13,866
and you're just back in?
492
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:16,838
[chuckles]
Okay, this is‐‐
493
00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:18,509
anybody?
both: Shut up, Elsa!
494
00:17:18,576 --> 00:17:20,445
And now
we're dropping S‐bombs.
495
00:17:20,513 --> 00:17:21,615
Honey sure did.
496
00:17:21,682 --> 00:17:23,786
Speaking of, I wonder
if the turd disappeared
497
00:17:23,852 --> 00:17:25,021
during that tender moment.
498
00:17:25,088 --> 00:17:26,390
Nope, still there.
499
00:17:26,457 --> 00:17:29,664
Well, things don't
just disappear, Max.
500
00:17:29,731 --> 00:17:32,436
Unless you're talking about
Jill's faith in me.
501
00:17:32,503 --> 00:17:34,741
Dr. Honey, don't be so hard
on yourself.
502
00:17:34,808 --> 00:17:35,776
Nobody's perfect.
503
00:17:35,843 --> 00:17:37,479
Yeah, well, I guess I'm not.
504
00:17:37,547 --> 00:17:40,318
But testing the bounds
of Jill's forgiveness
505
00:17:40,385 --> 00:17:41,989
is hard on both of us.
506
00:17:42,055 --> 00:17:44,527
I need to know
if excrement will be removed
507
00:17:44,594 --> 00:17:45,830
for next session.
508
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:51,775
That's very sweet, Tchotchke,
but Chief already offered.
509
00:17:51,842 --> 00:17:54,046
I just have to face the music.
510
00:17:54,113 --> 00:17:56,585
[somber tune]
511
00:17:56,652 --> 00:17:59,089
Well, I guess my life's
about to get pretty small.
512
00:17:59,156 --> 00:18:01,862
You can turn the page.
Yeah, you got that.
513
00:18:01,928 --> 00:18:03,732
Who's that? Is that an owl?
514
00:18:03,799 --> 00:18:05,368
[sighs]
Just a neurotic dog
515
00:18:05,435 --> 00:18:06,905
talking to himself in a crate.
516
00:18:06,972 --> 00:18:09,476
Everything I hoped not to be.
[whines]
517
00:18:09,544 --> 00:18:10,846
[babbling]
518
00:18:10,913 --> 00:18:12,182
No, no, no, no, no.
No, Ian.
519
00:18:12,249 --> 00:18:13,351
Don't come any closer!
520
00:18:13,418 --> 00:18:15,488
Where's the adult supervision?
521
00:18:15,556 --> 00:18:17,459
[sexy sax music]
522
00:18:17,527 --> 00:18:19,096
[babbles]
523
00:18:19,163 --> 00:18:20,432
What's this?
[sniffs]
524
00:18:20,498 --> 00:18:22,135
Peanut butter?
[gasps]
525
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:23,572
Ian treats!
526
00:18:23,639 --> 00:18:26,645
[giggles]
527
00:18:26,712 --> 00:18:28,448
I love you, Ian.
528
00:18:28,515 --> 00:18:31,320
What's your stance
on giving belly rubs?
529
00:18:34,894 --> 00:18:37,399
Okay, Honey, time to own up.
530
00:18:37,466 --> 00:18:39,804
[gasps]
Now, Honey, did you do this?
531
00:18:39,871 --> 00:18:41,508
This is so unlike you.
532
00:18:41,575 --> 00:18:43,411
Just ride it out, Honey.
533
00:18:43,478 --> 00:18:45,048
You and Jill will be
stronger for it.
534
00:18:45,115 --> 00:18:47,954
I expect this from Chief,
but you?
535
00:18:48,020 --> 00:18:49,724
[tearfully]
I know.
536
00:18:49,791 --> 00:18:51,695
[whining]
537
00:18:51,762 --> 00:18:54,333
[somber music]
538
00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:55,536
Chief, what are you doing?
539
00:18:55,603 --> 00:18:58,876
You don't have
to take the blame.
540
00:18:58,942 --> 00:19:01,915
Chief, it was you.
[gasps]
541
00:19:01,982 --> 00:19:03,585
Who's my big, bad boy
after all?
542
00:19:03,652 --> 00:19:05,589
My big, bad, poo‐poo prince!
[squeals]
543
00:19:05,656 --> 00:19:08,327
And Honey, I'm so sorry
I ever doubted you,
544
00:19:08,394 --> 00:19:11,968
my perfect, poofy princess.
545
00:19:12,035 --> 00:19:14,206
Feels good, feels good,
feels good.
546
00:19:14,273 --> 00:19:17,312
Honey, Honey, Honey,
What are we gonna do
547
00:19:17,379 --> 00:19:19,684
with you and this hair?
548
00:19:19,751 --> 00:19:23,424
I'd make the groomer fix it,
but Mommy hates confrontation.
549
00:19:23,491 --> 00:19:26,197
There's my good girl.
550
00:19:26,263 --> 00:19:28,234
Now, for you, mister.
551
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:31,407
[relaxed music]
552
00:19:31,473 --> 00:19:34,547
♪
553
00:19:34,614 --> 00:19:37,620
[howling]
554
00:19:37,687 --> 00:19:41,528
♪
555
00:19:41,595 --> 00:19:45,468
[howling]
556
00:19:45,536 --> 00:19:52,282
♪
557
00:19:52,349 --> 00:19:54,453
Knock, knock.
558
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,223
Is there room in there for me?
559
00:19:56,290 --> 00:19:57,560
Really?
You wanna sleep
560
00:19:57,627 --> 00:19:59,296
in the bad boy house with me?
561
00:19:59,363 --> 00:20:00,966
Yeah, it'll be fun.
562
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:01,902
Like a date.
563
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:04,206
Doghouse date. I like it.
564
00:20:04,273 --> 00:20:06,845
Thank you for taking
the blame for my no‐no.
565
00:20:06,912 --> 00:20:08,749
They're our no‐nos, babe.
566
00:20:08,815 --> 00:20:10,251
Well, it was really decent
of you‐‐
567
00:20:10,318 --> 00:20:11,554
I got to get to sleep now.
568
00:20:11,621 --> 00:20:13,926
If I lose another day,
the whole week is shot.
569
00:20:13,992 --> 00:20:17,232
That's all I was going‐‐
Okay, good night.
570
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:20,405
[relaxed guitar music]
571
00:20:24,279 --> 00:20:25,783
Oh, hey, there you are.
572
00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:28,220
Hey, what were you
gonna tell me the other day?
573
00:20:28,287 --> 00:20:30,358
Tss! You really wanna know?
574
00:20:30,425 --> 00:20:32,028
Yes.
All right.
575
00:20:32,095 --> 00:20:35,401
Here, come a little closer.
Yeah, just‐‐just a little bit.
576
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:37,305
Yeah, just move it in this way.
577
00:20:37,372 --> 00:20:39,042
Mm‐hmm.
All right, all right.
578
00:20:39,109 --> 00:20:40,211
[whispering indistinctly]
579
00:20:40,278 --> 00:20:42,917
[gasps]
Wow.
580
00:20:42,984 --> 00:20:44,587
That is interesting!
581
00:20:44,654 --> 00:20:46,925
But the best part is‐‐
Yeah?
582
00:20:46,992 --> 00:20:48,427
Spin spray!
[laughs]
583
00:20:48,494 --> 00:20:49,630
[screaming]
Can you believe it?
584
00:20:49,697 --> 00:20:51,500
It happened again!
Get it off me!
585
00:20:51,568 --> 00:20:53,538
I didn't even try
to trick you.
586
00:20:53,605 --> 00:20:55,341
I knew it was coming,
but you didn't.
587
00:20:55,408 --> 00:20:57,880
Spin spray!
[screaming]
588
00:20:57,947 --> 00:21:01,353
You walked into it this time!
Oh, my God! What!? How?
589
00:21:01,420 --> 00:21:03,592
[laughs]
Two in less than a minute.
590
00:21:03,658 --> 00:21:06,296
That is a personal best. Whoo!
You know, I think I'm gonna
591
00:21:06,363 --> 00:21:08,401
have a hard time
trusting you again!
592
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,438
It feels good every time.
593
00:21:10,506 --> 00:21:13,344
Why do I open
my heart to you?
594
00:21:15,114 --> 00:21:17,118
Bento.
[cheers and applause]
595
00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:19,056
That's nice, Jen and Gabby.
596
00:21:19,106 --> 00:21:23,656
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