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1
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- I'm getting married!
- Yeah!
2
00:00:02,090 --> 00:00:03,443
LAURA: You haven't been drinking, Becks.
3
00:00:03,490 --> 00:00:05,720
You'd better not be pregnant.
4
00:00:05,770 --> 00:00:08,409
Don't say anything to anyone
because I haven't told Steve yet.
5
00:00:08,450 --> 00:00:10,918
I was going to plan a special surprise
for him in the flat. Ripped By mstoll
6
00:00:10,970 --> 00:00:12,767
This is Lee, he used to go out
with Becky.
7
00:00:12,810 --> 00:00:13,959
We were together
four-and-a-half years.
8
00:00:14,010 --> 00:00:16,478
Laura's just told me.
She said you were pregnant.
9
00:00:16,530 --> 00:00:18,122
I just want you to know
I'm here for you, babe.
10
00:00:18,170 --> 00:00:21,526
- What did he want?
- Nothing.
11
00:00:21,570 --> 00:00:23,447
CAROLINE: You have both made
the declarations required by law
12
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:26,607
and have made a solemn and binding
contract with each other
13
00:00:26,650 --> 00:00:30,325
in the presence
of your witnesses and guests.
14
00:00:30,370 --> 00:00:34,648
It gives me great pleasure to
pronounce you husband and wife.
15
00:00:34,690 --> 00:00:37,329
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
16
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:40,487
And I'm gonna tell everyone what
you've done with that faggot.
17
00:00:40,530 --> 00:00:43,090
Well, what's everyone going to
think about you for marrying me?
18
00:00:47,370 --> 00:00:51,079
Sorry about all this, I'm not actually...
very used to public speaking.
19
00:00:51,130 --> 00:00:52,483
Could've fooled me!
20
00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:53,599
(LAUGHTER)
21
00:01:06,050 --> 00:01:09,486
- I am the bride!
- I know you are, Laura.
22
00:01:09,530 --> 00:01:11,600
- I'm so sorry.
- You do not...
23
00:01:11,650 --> 00:01:14,562
You do not tell me
I've had too much to drink.
24
00:01:14,610 --> 00:01:16,328
- Come on, Laura, darling.
- No!
25
00:01:16,370 --> 00:01:18,725
- SHELLY AND BECKY: Laura!
- You're such a virgin.
26
00:01:18,770 --> 00:01:22,558
She didn't mean it.
She gets like this.
27
00:01:22,610 --> 00:01:25,329
I think my dress has got
a little bit dirty.
28
00:01:26,370 --> 00:01:27,359
Here. Come on.
29
00:01:27,410 --> 00:01:29,162
- Why don't you have a little dance?
- No!
30
00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:31,644
I'm going to tell Steve you're pregnant
31
00:01:31,690 --> 00:01:33,920
and there's nothing you can do about it.
32
00:01:33,970 --> 00:01:35,119
Laura!
33
00:01:37,370 --> 00:01:39,759
Right, I got something
I want to tell you.
34
00:01:39,810 --> 00:01:41,960
Laura! Come and have a dance, yeah?
35
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:44,285
(CHEERING)
36
00:01:46,090 --> 00:01:47,284
(APPLAUSE)
37
00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:54,401
(? TOM JONES: It's Not Unusual)
38
00:01:57,290 --> 00:01:58,769
You all right?
39
00:01:58,810 --> 00:02:01,643
?... It's such a crime... ?
40
00:02:01,690 --> 00:02:03,601
Not really.
41
00:02:03,650 --> 00:02:04,765
You?
42
00:02:06,330 --> 00:02:07,763
No.
43
00:02:07,810 --> 00:02:10,449
?... It's not unusualIt happens every day... ?
44
00:02:10,490 --> 00:02:11,559
(CRUNCHES FOOD)
45
00:02:11,610 --> 00:02:13,646
Do you mind not eating that in my ear?
46
00:02:13,690 --> 00:02:15,806
- Sorry.
- Thanks.
47
00:02:15,850 --> 00:02:17,442
Oi, Steve!
48
00:02:17,490 --> 00:02:18,605
In here, now.
49
00:02:18,650 --> 00:02:20,959
?... Love will never do
50
00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:23,205
? What you want it to
51
00:02:24,610 --> 00:02:30,799
? Why can't this crazy love be mine? ?
52
00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:32,647
(STEVE AND DAN GROAN IN DISGUST)
53
00:02:32,690 --> 00:02:35,079
- Bloody hell, Paul.
- Oh, my God.
54
00:02:35,130 --> 00:02:37,086
It smelt like this before
I came in here.
55
00:02:40,090 --> 00:02:41,443
(GROANS)
56
00:02:42,970 --> 00:02:45,200
It smelt like this before
I came in here.
57
00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:48,208
- What do you want?
- Laura's fucked.
58
00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:50,206
She's said I've got to choose
between her and Graham.
59
00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:51,319
Hello.
60
00:02:51,370 --> 00:02:52,598
Ooh. Smelly!
61
00:02:53,850 --> 00:02:55,044
Excuse me.
62
00:02:59,130 --> 00:03:00,119
(TOILET SEAT TAPS DOWN)
63
00:03:00,170 --> 00:03:01,205
(TROUSERS ARE UNZIPPED)
64
00:03:01,250 --> 00:03:03,320
- Do the rest of this outside?
- Yeah.
65
00:03:03,370 --> 00:03:08,524
?... But when I see you out and aboutit's such a crime
66
00:03:08,570 --> 00:03:10,686
?If you should ever be... ?
67
00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:13,005
- Here he is!
- I'm just going to find my lady wife...
68
00:03:13,050 --> 00:03:14,847
You've got your honeymoon for that!
69
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,448
?... It's not unusual
70
00:03:16,490 --> 00:03:17,969
?It happens every day
71
00:03:19,090 --> 00:03:20,205
? No matter what you say
72
00:03:21,650 --> 00:03:26,440
? You'll find it happens all the time
73
00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:29,323
? Love will never do
74
00:03:29,370 --> 00:03:32,282
? What you want it to
75
00:03:32,330 --> 00:03:34,048
- ? Why can't this crazy love... ?
- Oh, thanks.
76
00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:36,809
?... Be mine? ?
77
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:39,045
Come with me.
I want to tell you something!
78
00:03:39,090 --> 00:03:41,445
I'm all right, thanks, Laura.
79
00:03:41,490 --> 00:03:44,323
Oi! Go in there and get your cock out.
80
00:03:44,370 --> 00:03:46,326
- Hi.
- Hi.
81
00:03:46,370 --> 00:03:49,282
Laura, what did you just say to him?
82
00:03:50,370 --> 00:03:54,648
?... It's not unusual to bemad with anyone
83
00:03:56,130 --> 00:04:00,203
?It's not unusual to be sad with anyone
84
00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:04,801
? But if I ever find that you'vechanged at any time
85
00:04:04,850 --> 00:04:07,410
- ?It's not unusual... ?
- Go on.
86
00:04:07,450 --> 00:04:09,441
Thanks, Steve.
?... To find out I'm in love... ?
87
00:04:09,490 --> 00:04:13,085
- I really, really respect Muslims.
- I'm not a Muslim.
88
00:04:13,130 --> 00:04:15,564
- Laura, please don't tell Steve.
- Shut it!
89
00:04:15,610 --> 00:04:18,443
I've actually got quite a lot
in common with Muslims,
90
00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:23,610
because I'm nice and I'm kind
and I believe in God,
91
00:04:23,650 --> 00:04:26,118
but then if you annoy me,
92
00:04:26,170 --> 00:04:27,205
I go ape-shit.
93
00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:28,524
I'm not a Muslim.
94
00:04:28,570 --> 00:04:29,969
- (GROANS)
- Laura!
95
00:04:30,010 --> 00:04:32,046
Oh, go shove it up your smelly arse.
96
00:04:32,090 --> 00:04:33,125
Laura!
97
00:04:35,370 --> 00:04:38,601
(? KYLIE MINOGUE:
Can't Get You Out Of My Head)
98
00:04:38,650 --> 00:04:40,800
- All right?
- Yep. Yes.
99
00:04:40,850 --> 00:04:43,887
? La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la... ?
100
00:04:43,930 --> 00:04:47,081
- Ugh!
- Do you know where Laura went?
101
00:04:47,130 --> 00:04:48,449
Where do you want to put it?
102
00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:52,684
- Sorry?
- Where do you want to put it?
103
00:04:52,730 --> 00:04:55,119
If you do it from behind,
you won't have to look at me.
104
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,047
- BECKY: Laura?
- Come on.
105
00:04:57,090 --> 00:04:58,921
You know you want it.
106
00:04:58,970 --> 00:05:00,722
I really don't.
107
00:05:00,770 --> 00:05:02,522
I'll suck you off.
108
00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:04,162
You can come in my face.
109
00:05:04,210 --> 00:05:05,609
- BECKY: Steve?
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
110
00:05:05,650 --> 00:05:06,844
Hurry up.
111
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,005
Laura!
112
00:05:10,170 --> 00:05:12,081
Your dad likes Shelly,
doesn't he?
113
00:05:12,130 --> 00:05:13,119
Yeah.
114
00:05:13,170 --> 00:05:15,286
Oh, come on. He's fine.
He's just having a laugh.
115
00:05:15,330 --> 00:05:16,888
(KNOCKS)
116
00:05:16,930 --> 00:05:18,124
Laura?
117
00:05:21,490 --> 00:05:23,481
Everyone's saying how bad
Steve's speech was.
118
00:05:26,970 --> 00:05:28,198
Steve?
119
00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:29,444
Suck on my tits.
120
00:05:29,490 --> 00:05:31,446
- No.
- Yes.
121
00:05:31,490 --> 00:05:34,243
- No.
- Why are you laughing?
122
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:35,609
Bec...
123
00:05:35,650 --> 00:05:38,118
Cos you're telling me
to suck on your tits.
124
00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:41,879
- Just do it, so I can tell Paul.
- Let's go and have a dance, eh?
125
00:05:41,930 --> 00:05:43,568
This is your last chance.
126
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,282
Are you gonna suck on my tits or not?
127
00:05:46,330 --> 00:05:47,729
No!
128
00:05:47,770 --> 00:05:49,203
Don't laugh at me!
129
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:52,401
I was, er, thinking of popping outside
for a bit, get some fresh air.
130
00:05:52,450 --> 00:05:54,406
- OK.
- You should come with me.
131
00:05:54,450 --> 00:05:55,644
I'm worried about you.
132
00:05:55,690 --> 00:05:57,203
You need to be
careful in your condition.
133
00:05:57,250 --> 00:05:59,889
I'm fine.
I'm going to wait for Laura.
134
00:05:59,930 --> 00:06:01,443
Becky, come on.
135
00:06:01,490 --> 00:06:02,764
(SNORTS)
136
00:06:02,810 --> 00:06:04,038
Don't fuck me about.
137
00:06:04,090 --> 00:06:05,808
Pardon?
138
00:06:05,850 --> 00:06:07,966
Becky's keeping a secret from you.
139
00:06:08,010 --> 00:06:10,968
And she's told Lee
because she loves him.
140
00:06:11,010 --> 00:06:12,682
OK, Laura.
141
00:06:12,730 --> 00:06:14,448
She dreams about him at night.
142
00:06:14,490 --> 00:06:16,162
Course she does.
143
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,438
She carries a lock of his hair.
144
00:06:18,810 --> 00:06:21,847
- Nice.
- She sniffs it when you're asleep.
145
00:06:23,130 --> 00:06:24,483
And she's got a secret.
146
00:06:24,530 --> 00:06:25,804
She's told him...
147
00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,562
...and I know what it is.
148
00:06:29,610 --> 00:06:30,884
What?
149
00:06:34,690 --> 00:06:35,725
What is it?
150
00:06:37,570 --> 00:06:38,719
Laura...
151
00:06:38,770 --> 00:06:39,998
(? THE FOUNDATIONS:
Build Me Up Buttercup)
152
00:06:40,050 --> 00:06:42,610
(SCREAMS) Oh, my God!
153
00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:46,201
(SCREAMS)
154
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,639
? Why do you build me up
155
00:06:55,890 --> 00:06:57,642
? Build me up, buttercup, baby
156
00:06:57,690 --> 00:07:01,080
?Just to let me down? Let me downAnd mess me around
157
00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:03,086
?And then worst of allWorst of all
158
00:07:03,130 --> 00:07:04,722
? You never call, baby
159
00:07:04,770 --> 00:07:06,761
? When you say you willSay you will
160
00:07:06,810 --> 00:07:08,289
? But I love you still
161
00:07:08,330 --> 00:07:09,763
?I need youI need you
162
00:07:09,810 --> 00:07:12,278
?More than anyone, darling
163
00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:15,640
? You know that I have from the start
164
00:07:15,690 --> 00:07:18,807
? So, build me upBuild me up, buttercup
165
00:07:18,850 --> 00:07:21,125
? Don't break my heart
166
00:07:23,170 --> 00:07:27,243
?I'll be over at ten, you told metime and again, but you're late
167
00:07:28,290 --> 00:07:31,009
?I wait around and thenBah-dah-dah
168
00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:33,041
?I went to the doorI can't take any more
169
00:07:33,090 --> 00:07:36,446
?It's not youYou let me down again
170
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:39,288
? Hey, hey, hey!Baby, baby
171
00:07:39,330 --> 00:07:41,525
? Try to findHey, hey, hey!
172
00:07:41,570 --> 00:07:44,130
?A little timeand I'll make you mine
173
00:07:44,170 --> 00:07:45,205
? Hey, hey, hey!I'll be home
174
00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:49,721
?I'll be beside the phonewaiting for you
175
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:54,048
? Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo
176
00:07:54,090 --> 00:07:56,365
? Why do you build me upBuild me up
177
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,321
? Buttercup, baby
178
00:07:58,370 --> 00:08:00,201
?Just to let me down?Let me down... ?
179
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,127
- STEVE: Hi, Mum.
- IAN: No!
180
00:08:02,170 --> 00:08:06,004
- This is lan! Paul's brother!
- Half-brother! I want to go home!
181
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:07,278
No, he doesn't!
182
00:08:07,330 --> 00:08:11,005
Janet, please, no! Will you
please take your hands off me?
183
00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:12,642
?... More than anyone, darling... ?
184
00:08:12,690 --> 00:08:13,805
You all right?
185
00:08:13,850 --> 00:08:15,124
- Yeah!
- You?
186
00:08:15,170 --> 00:08:17,206
- Yeah!
- Wah-hey!
187
00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:19,286
?... Build me up, build me up, buttercup
188
00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:22,003
? Don't break my heart
189
00:08:23,090 --> 00:08:28,881
? You were my toy, but I could bethe boy you adore
190
00:08:28,930 --> 00:08:31,205
?If you'd just let me knowBah-dah-dah
191
00:08:31,250 --> 00:08:33,889
?Although you're untrueI'm attracted to you
192
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,602
?All the more
193
00:08:35,650 --> 00:08:37,686
? Why do I need you so?
194
00:08:37,730 --> 00:08:40,847
? Hey, hey, hey!Baby, baby, try to find
195
00:08:40,890 --> 00:08:42,209
? Hey, hey, hey!
196
00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:45,560
?A little time and I'll make you mineHey, hey, hey!
197
00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:50,525
?I'll be homeI'll be beside the phone waiting for you
198
00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:53,403
? Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo. ?
199
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:55,042
(? WHAM! : Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go)
200
00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:57,365
- ?Jitterbug... ?
- (CHEERING)
201
00:08:57,410 --> 00:08:58,968
?... Jitterbug
202
00:09:00,650 --> 00:09:01,719
?Jitterbug
203
00:09:03,690 --> 00:09:04,645
?Jitterbug... ?
204
00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:09,963
- Argh!
- Calm down, mate. Come on.
205
00:09:10,010 --> 00:09:12,524
She said if I choose Graham
I'll never see Bernadette again.
206
00:09:12,570 --> 00:09:14,242
- Oh, what a pickle.
- Dan.
207
00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:18,160
- Argh!
- Calm down.
208
00:09:18,210 --> 00:09:20,485
You're Bernadette's dad.
She can't stop you seeing her.
209
00:09:20,530 --> 00:09:22,122
Oh, yes, she can.
210
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:23,444
- Argh!
- Paul!
211
00:09:23,490 --> 00:09:26,209
I am a man and I have feelings!
212
00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:27,239
?... In my bed
213
00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:31,442
?I was dreaming, but I should havebeen with you instead... ?
214
00:09:31,490 --> 00:09:32,923
You all right?
215
00:09:32,970 --> 00:09:34,449
Yeah. Fine.
216
00:09:35,690 --> 00:09:37,123
It's me own fault.
217
00:09:37,170 --> 00:09:38,649
Shall I get you another drink?
218
00:09:38,690 --> 00:09:41,443
?... Before you go-goI don't want to miss it... ?
219
00:09:41,490 --> 00:09:42,718
Nah. You're all right.
220
00:09:42,770 --> 00:09:46,126
?... Wake me up before you go-go
221
00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:48,479
? Cos I'm not planning ongoing solo
222
00:09:48,530 --> 00:09:52,000
? Wake me up before you go-go... ?
223
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,881
You having that?
224
00:09:53,930 --> 00:09:55,045
Yeah.
225
00:09:56,530 --> 00:10:00,079
- (BANGING FROM CUBICLE)
- PAUL: Fucking, stupid, fucking moron.
226
00:10:01,210 --> 00:10:02,404
Ugly, fucking...
227
00:10:03,850 --> 00:10:08,128
...piggy little bitch...
- Is he all right in there?
228
00:10:08,170 --> 00:10:09,683
- Thick bitch!
- (BANGING CONTINUES)
229
00:10:09,730 --> 00:10:12,688
- Yeah. He's fine.
- Stupid, stinking moron...
230
00:10:12,730 --> 00:10:14,607
By the way...
231
00:10:14,650 --> 00:10:15,639
PAUL: Pathetic.
232
00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:17,043
...your speech was diabolical.
233
00:10:17,090 --> 00:10:19,126
- PAUL: Fucking pathetic.
- Thanks.
234
00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:25,882
Just get in the cubicle and do it.
235
00:10:25,930 --> 00:10:27,761
Don't be silly, Laura. Becks?
236
00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:29,880
- Just get it out.
- Careful, Laur!
237
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,363
- Come on. Just get it out.
- Careful, sweetheart.
238
00:10:31,410 --> 00:10:33,366
- Becks, let's pop outside.
- Come on.
239
00:10:33,410 --> 00:10:34,445
Just a hand job.
240
00:10:34,490 --> 00:10:36,162
- Oh, my God.
- You can close your eyes
241
00:10:36,210 --> 00:10:37,404
and imagine I'm her.
242
00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:39,645
- Come on.
- No!
243
00:10:41,690 --> 00:10:43,920
It's just me and you, Paul.
You can come out.
244
00:10:43,970 --> 00:10:46,723
Leave me alone, Steve.
I'm going to kill myself.
245
00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:50,882
- OK. How are you going to do that?
- Dunno yet.
246
00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:54,766
Shall I get you a knife?
247
00:10:54,810 --> 00:10:56,448
Pills?
248
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:57,479
Bit of rope?
249
00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:01,004
- I'm actually all right, thanks.
- Right.
250
00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:02,961
Have you said anything to Steve
about the baby?
251
00:11:04,450 --> 00:11:07,248
SHELLY: Don't do that, Laura!
252
00:11:07,290 --> 00:11:08,643
Shut the door, Shell.
253
00:11:08,690 --> 00:11:10,089
Oh, sorry.
254
00:11:11,690 --> 00:11:12,884
Sorry, Lee.
255
00:11:14,650 --> 00:11:17,164
I think you probably need
a bit of time alone, Laura, darling.
256
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:20,725
I've been planning this day
since I was three...
257
00:11:21,810 --> 00:11:25,120
...so I don't really
care about what you
258
00:11:25,170 --> 00:11:29,163
and your ugly little lesbian embryo
are doing about anything.
259
00:11:31,010 --> 00:11:32,887
You know I love you, don't you?
260
00:11:47,130 --> 00:11:48,563
(LAURA SOBS)
261
00:11:50,370 --> 00:11:53,840
I think me and Becky should
leave you alone for a bit, darling.
262
00:11:53,890 --> 00:11:55,687
You need a bit of me time.
263
00:11:55,730 --> 00:11:58,290
Do you know how much
this wedding cost?
264
00:11:58,330 --> 00:12:00,685
Yeah, but it's been a lovely day,
though, hasn't it?
265
00:12:00,730 --> 00:12:03,528
Everyone said lovely things
about you.
266
00:12:03,570 --> 00:12:05,083
You did your lovely song.
267
00:12:06,170 --> 00:12:08,445
Everyone was saying how amazing
you looked, weren't they?
268
00:12:08,490 --> 00:12:12,642
SHELLY: I think you look
absolutely beautiful, Laura.
269
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:13,884
See?
270
00:12:15,850 --> 00:12:16,885
(SLAPS AWAY HAND)
271
00:12:16,930 --> 00:12:19,046
Don't touch what you can't afford.
272
00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:23,282
- PAUL: I like being with Graham.
- I know.
273
00:12:24,570 --> 00:12:27,880
He's got this dressing gown I wear
when I stay over.
274
00:12:27,930 --> 00:12:31,366
- It's really soft.
- Ooh, sounds lovely.
275
00:12:31,410 --> 00:12:34,686
And he's got this massive bath.
It's massive, Steve.
276
00:12:34,730 --> 00:12:36,209
We got three of us in it.
277
00:12:38,210 --> 00:12:42,123
But Bernadette needs me.
She needs her biological parents.
278
00:12:43,690 --> 00:12:46,807
Come on, Paul. I think
you've got to call Graham.
279
00:12:49,050 --> 00:12:50,403
(DOOR OPENS)
280
00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:56,083
He's just so gentle, Steve.
281
00:12:57,770 --> 00:12:58,759
OK.
282
00:12:58,810 --> 00:13:00,641
He reads me like a map.
283
00:13:00,690 --> 00:13:04,569
- He knows every contour of my body...
- All right, all right.
284
00:13:05,690 --> 00:13:09,365
Becky, sweetheart, come outside with me.
It's a lovely evening.
285
00:13:09,410 --> 00:13:10,399
I need to look after Laura.
286
00:13:10,450 --> 00:13:12,600
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
287
00:13:12,650 --> 00:13:14,208
What's so good about Steve?
288
00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:16,764
I'm sorry, but someone's got to say it.
289
00:13:16,810 --> 00:13:18,721
This is a man who asked you
to marry him in his flat.
290
00:13:18,770 --> 00:13:21,409
Seriously, though, the most important
question of your life
291
00:13:21,450 --> 00:13:23,839
and does he hire out a limo? No.
Does he take you up the London Eye?
292
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,608
- I think you should go have a dance.
- As soon as he finds out
293
00:13:25,650 --> 00:13:27,606
you're pregnant, he's gonna leave you,
sweetheart.
294
00:13:27,650 --> 00:13:29,129
Honestly, I've seen it a million times.
295
00:13:29,170 --> 00:13:31,001
So, you've got to tell him
and tell him now
296
00:13:31,050 --> 00:13:33,723
and you'll see for yourself
what kind of man he is.
297
00:13:33,770 --> 00:13:35,840
If you don't tell him, babe, I will.
298
00:13:35,890 --> 00:13:36,879
Hi.
299
00:13:38,970 --> 00:13:39,959
Hi.
300
00:13:40,010 --> 00:13:40,965
Hi.
301
00:13:41,010 --> 00:13:42,159
Hello.
302
00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:44,279
Tell me what?
303
00:13:44,330 --> 00:13:45,649
JANET: Hey! Come on!
304
00:13:45,690 --> 00:13:46,679
Join in!
305
00:13:46,730 --> 00:13:49,847
Don't be boring!
306
00:13:52,650 --> 00:13:54,049
Shelly!
307
00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:55,443
GUEST: Go on, mate. Go on, mate.
308
00:13:56,890 --> 00:13:59,358
Come on, mate, don't be boring.
309
00:13:59,410 --> 00:14:01,002
Hey, hey, come on.
310
00:14:01,050 --> 00:14:02,608
(? GLORIA ESTEFAN: Do The Conga)
311
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:59,009
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
312
00:15:26,890 --> 00:15:27,879
(MUSIC STOPS)
313
00:15:27,930 --> 00:15:30,160
- DAN: Shit, shit, shit, shit!
- (GUESTS GROAN)
314
00:15:32,250 --> 00:15:33,365
Shit!
315
00:15:35,370 --> 00:15:36,485
(MUSIC STARTS AGAIN)
316
00:15:36,530 --> 00:15:37,883
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
317
00:15:37,930 --> 00:15:39,363
(CHEERING)
318
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,964
DJ: Sorry about that,
ladies and gentlemen.
319
00:15:54,490 --> 00:15:57,050
- IAN: Please!
- JANET: Don't be like that.
320
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,809
- Just leave me alone, for heaven's sakes!
- Don't be like that.
321
00:16:04,170 --> 00:16:05,967
Um, sorry, Dan. He wouldn't let me go.
322
00:16:12,130 --> 00:16:13,529
All right?
323
00:16:15,130 --> 00:16:17,166
Come on, Shelly.
What room are you in?
324
00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:23,687
PAUL: Yes, OK, we could've legged it
to your car, yes, but my point is,
325
00:16:23,730 --> 00:16:28,087
we didn't do any of those things,
and now I'm married to her, Graham.
326
00:16:29,410 --> 00:16:30,604
(CUBICLE DOOR OPENS)
327
00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:32,720
I need to do what's
right for our baby.
328
00:16:34,450 --> 00:16:38,443
This isn't about you and me, Graham.
She needs her biological parents.
329
00:16:39,490 --> 00:16:41,401
Oh, don't cry. Please don't cry.
330
00:16:46,290 --> 00:16:47,962
(SIGHS)
331
00:16:48,010 --> 00:16:51,798
I just wanna know what room you're
in, Shelly. It's quite simple.
332
00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:54,045
OK, Nigel.
333
00:16:55,290 --> 00:16:56,325
Have you seen Steve?
334
00:16:57,410 --> 00:16:59,082
Um...
335
00:16:59,130 --> 00:17:00,609
No, love. Sorry.
336
00:17:06,850 --> 00:17:08,727
(SIGHS) The wife's in bed.
337
00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:10,799
Get rid of that thing...
338
00:17:11,890 --> 00:17:13,118
...and you and me can have some fun.
339
00:17:16,890 --> 00:17:18,482
(HAND-DRYER WHIRRS)
340
00:17:36,570 --> 00:17:39,721
Come on, Shelly. Don't be a bitch.
341
00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:43,289
I can't find Steve anywhere.
342
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:44,763
Oh, no.
343
00:17:44,810 --> 00:17:46,562
(CLICKS HIS TONGUE)
344
00:17:52,490 --> 00:17:55,960
You give it all that,
with your high voice and your fake tan,
345
00:17:56,010 --> 00:17:58,729
but you're just as rotten
as the rest of them.
346
00:17:58,770 --> 00:18:01,330
OK, Nigel. Goodbye now.
347
00:18:01,370 --> 00:18:04,885
You can't look like that and not
expect men to take an interest.
348
00:18:07,330 --> 00:18:08,558
OK, Nigel.
349
00:18:08,610 --> 00:18:09,963
You look like a whore...
350
00:18:11,010 --> 00:18:13,729
...you get treated like a whore -
it's just a fact of life.
351
00:18:13,770 --> 00:18:15,249
Don't get all fucking female about it.
352
00:18:16,450 --> 00:18:17,963
(GASPS)
353
00:18:18,010 --> 00:18:19,841
What the fuck was that?
354
00:18:23,810 --> 00:18:25,801
- (WHIMPERS)
- (GASPS)
355
00:18:25,850 --> 00:18:27,522
(HAND-DRYER WHIRRS)
356
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,763
What's Becky gonna tell me?
357
00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:59,286
Just tell me, please, Lee...
358
00:19:00,410 --> 00:19:03,049
...cos this is actually, really
not very nice.
359
00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,325
- SHELLY: What's wrong with me, Dan?
- NIGEL: I can do it myself. Get off.
360
00:19:26,370 --> 00:19:28,520
- I'm a monster.
- No, you're not, you're lovely.
361
00:19:28,570 --> 00:19:31,642
- I'm fine. It's just a nosebleed.
- What happened?
362
00:19:32,890 --> 00:19:35,040
- I killed him.
- I'm fine. It's just a nosebleed.
363
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:37,923
- I killed him, Dan!
- You haven't killed him.
364
00:19:37,970 --> 00:19:39,005
(SHELLY WHIMPERS)
365
00:19:39,050 --> 00:19:41,883
It's all right, Shell.
Come on, let's sit you down.
366
00:19:45,290 --> 00:19:47,679
It's over. Me and Graham are over.
367
00:19:47,730 --> 00:19:50,927
I'm gonna do the right thing for once.
I'm gonna change.
368
00:19:50,970 --> 00:19:52,722
Steve, I'm going to be a good father.
369
00:19:52,770 --> 00:19:55,443
That's great, Paul, yeah.
370
00:19:55,490 --> 00:19:56,923
I've told him it's over.
371
00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:02,043
I'm going to delete his number.
372
00:20:02,090 --> 00:20:04,320
I'm going to take all his pictures
of me off the internet.
373
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:07,484
What was I thinking?!
374
00:20:07,530 --> 00:20:11,887
When I say it out loud,
it doesn't even make sense!
375
00:20:11,930 --> 00:20:13,761
He's 58!
376
00:20:13,810 --> 00:20:15,004
It'd never work!
377
00:20:15,050 --> 00:20:16,563
And he's a man.
378
00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:21,045
I do love Laura. I know I do.
379
00:20:21,090 --> 00:20:22,808
We have something special.
380
00:20:22,850 --> 00:20:24,044
It's taken all this to prove it to me,
381
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:26,763
but sometimes that's what
love's like.
382
00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:29,529
She's an amazing woman,
and I love her
383
00:20:29,570 --> 00:20:30,923
and I'm going to be true to her,
384
00:20:30,970 --> 00:20:33,848
and we're going to be the most
loving biological parents
385
00:20:33,890 --> 00:20:35,403
Bernadette could ever need.
386
00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:39,684
I feel like a cloud's lifted.
387
00:20:39,730 --> 00:20:42,369
It's a happy ending, Steve.
388
00:20:42,410 --> 00:20:44,162
Everything's gonna be OK.
389
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:46,724
I'm pleased for you, mate.
I really am.
390
00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:48,488
I'm gonna go and find Laura,
tell her the good news.
391
00:20:53,770 --> 00:20:55,044
All right?
392
00:21:11,970 --> 00:21:14,359
This is going to break Paul's heart.
393
00:21:19,610 --> 00:21:21,885
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
394
00:21:26,570 --> 00:21:29,130
DJ: Right, ladies and gentlemen,
the fireworks are starting
395
00:21:29,170 --> 00:21:32,287
so if you'd like to make your way outside,
and then back in here
396
00:21:32,330 --> 00:21:35,163
for some more top tunes.
397
00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:36,928
(? GIRLS ALOUD: The Promise)
398
00:21:36,970 --> 00:21:38,767
?Are you watching me, baby?
399
00:21:38,810 --> 00:21:41,324
? Cos my heart is turningto solid gold
400
00:21:41,370 --> 00:21:44,407
?And my head is saying, honeyToo good to be true
401
00:21:44,450 --> 00:21:46,566
? Oh, one look into your glitter eyes
402
00:21:46,610 --> 00:21:48,840
? Power's failing me every time
403
00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:50,528
? You're gonna make me... ?
404
00:21:50,570 --> 00:21:52,083
- This way.
- I think you need
405
00:21:52,130 --> 00:21:53,802
to tell me what's going on, Becks.
406
00:21:55,930 --> 00:21:57,204
Has Laura said anything to you?
407
00:21:58,850 --> 00:22:00,203
What about?
408
00:22:03,930 --> 00:22:05,204
- You OK?
- It was just a nosebleed.
409
00:22:06,770 --> 00:22:08,488
Don't know what all
the fuss is about.
410
00:22:10,210 --> 00:22:11,768
Hey!
411
00:22:11,810 --> 00:22:14,005
Gonna come and see the fireworks?
412
00:22:14,050 --> 00:22:15,039
Absolutely.
413
00:22:15,090 --> 00:22:16,921
- We'll be there in a minute.
- Great.
414
00:22:16,970 --> 00:22:18,369
See you out there!
415
00:22:18,410 --> 00:22:20,162
JANET: That's my son.
416
00:22:20,210 --> 00:22:22,201
KEITH: Never.
I thought he was your brother.
417
00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:24,923
- Yeah, we get that a lot.
- DENNIS: Becky!
418
00:22:24,970 --> 00:22:27,438
- Coming outside for the fireworks?
- Yeah.
419
00:22:27,490 --> 00:22:29,685
Definitely. See you out there.
420
00:22:29,730 --> 00:22:31,163
SUE: Great.
421
00:22:31,210 --> 00:22:33,565
- What's happening, Becks?
- Come on.
422
00:22:43,530 --> 00:22:45,725
SUE: Lee, you coming outside?
423
00:22:49,170 --> 00:22:51,365
- Yeah, just try and stop me!
- (LAUGHTER)
424
00:22:59,210 --> 00:23:00,768
- Right. This is it.
- Come on.
425
00:23:00,810 --> 00:23:01,959
- Let's go into the room.
- No.
426
00:23:02,010 --> 00:23:04,729
- I'm not coming in till you've told me.
- Come on. Don't be silly.
427
00:23:04,770 --> 00:23:06,442
No, I'm not coming in till you've
told me, Becks.
428
00:23:07,690 --> 00:23:09,840
- Come inside, Steve.
- I'm not coming in there. I'm not.
429
00:23:23,930 --> 00:23:25,522
Right. This is it.
430
00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:26,798
I'm hot.
431
00:23:28,170 --> 00:23:31,003
- And I've got a sweaty back.
- OK.
432
00:23:33,090 --> 00:23:35,126
- What's that?
- Soap.
433
00:23:35,170 --> 00:23:36,523
Right.
434
00:23:36,570 --> 00:23:39,687
So, I'm going to close my eyes
and I'm going to count down from 20...
435
00:23:39,730 --> 00:23:41,402
- Just start at 10.
- I'm going to count down from 20
436
00:23:41,450 --> 00:23:43,441
and you're gonna tell me
what's going on. OK?
437
00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:45,242
Steve...
438
00:23:46,290 --> 00:23:50,727
- 20, 19, 18, 17...
- I didn't wanna tell you like this.
439
00:23:50,770 --> 00:23:53,728
...16, 15, 14, 13...
440
00:23:53,770 --> 00:23:56,284
- Steve...
...12, 11, 10...
441
00:23:56,330 --> 00:23:59,959
- OK, OK.
...nine, eight, seven, six,
442
00:24:00,010 --> 00:24:01,363
- five...
- I'm pregnant.
443
00:24:04,290 --> 00:24:06,520
Sorry, I think I misheard you.
Can you say that again?
444
00:24:08,850 --> 00:24:10,488
I'm... I'm pregnant.
445
00:24:14,530 --> 00:24:16,441
Is this what you've been
wanting to tell me?
446
00:24:18,570 --> 00:24:19,685
I, er...
447
00:24:20,890 --> 00:24:22,608
Lee...
448
00:24:25,290 --> 00:24:26,848
So you're not going to dump me?
449
00:24:26,890 --> 00:24:28,642
(LAUGHS)
450
00:24:28,690 --> 00:24:30,965
No, of course not.
Why would I dump you?
451
00:24:31,010 --> 00:24:33,843
There's about a million reasons.
452
00:24:38,250 --> 00:24:39,729
I didn't want to tell you like this.
453
00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:41,328
I wanted to do a nice pregnancy thing.
454
00:24:41,370 --> 00:24:43,042
No, I'm sorry I don't know anything.
455
00:24:43,090 --> 00:24:45,160
I don't... You can't be pregnant...
456
00:24:45,210 --> 00:24:48,247
This is silly.
I don't know how to do... anything.
457
00:24:48,290 --> 00:24:49,803
Have you done a test?
458
00:24:49,850 --> 00:24:52,000
- Yeah, of course.
- What did it say?
459
00:24:52,050 --> 00:24:53,688
It said I'm pregnant.
460
00:24:55,530 --> 00:24:56,963
(WHISPERS) Fuck.
461
00:24:57,010 --> 00:24:58,807
(MOUTHS)
462
00:25:05,850 --> 00:25:07,442
I'll join the library.
Get a book on it.
463
00:25:07,490 --> 00:25:09,526
We can go to classes.
464
00:25:09,570 --> 00:25:10,719
- Oh, yeah?
- Hmm.
465
00:25:10,770 --> 00:25:12,203
OK. Good.
466
00:25:13,850 --> 00:25:15,966
Fuck that, actually.
We'll have to talk to people.
467
00:25:16,010 --> 00:25:17,966
I'll get a book on it.
468
00:25:18,010 --> 00:25:19,159
There'll be an app.
469
00:25:19,210 --> 00:25:21,440
I need a smartphone.
I can't afford one.
470
00:25:23,250 --> 00:25:24,399
I'll get a job,
471
00:25:24,450 --> 00:25:26,281
I'll get a smartphone
472
00:25:26,330 --> 00:25:29,367
and then I'll get myself an app
all about how to be a dad.
473
00:25:32,370 --> 00:25:33,359
(WHISPERS) Fuck.
474
00:25:37,130 --> 00:25:40,167
(WHISPERS) Fucking hell.
How am I going to be someone's dad?
475
00:25:41,810 --> 00:25:43,209
Is this going to be OK?
476
00:26:01,650 --> 00:26:03,003
(SIGHS)
477
00:26:03,050 --> 00:26:06,122
(? LULU: Boom Bang-A-Bang)
478
00:26:06,170 --> 00:26:07,683
Oh, my God! Did I hurt you?
479
00:26:07,730 --> 00:26:09,527
- Oh, don't be silly.
- Is he easy to squash?
480
00:26:09,570 --> 00:26:10,685
He?
481
00:26:10,730 --> 00:26:12,482
God, I threw you off the bed
this morning!
482
00:26:12,530 --> 00:26:14,600
- It's a boy, is it?
- I fucking hope so.
483
00:26:14,650 --> 00:26:17,483
- (FIREWORKS EXPLODE OUTSIDE)
- Come on. Sit down.
484
00:26:17,530 --> 00:26:19,282
Are you OK?
485
00:26:19,330 --> 00:26:20,285
Do you feel sick?
486
00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:21,922
Are you going to be sick?
487
00:26:21,970 --> 00:26:23,642
Do you want me to get you a bowl?
488
00:26:23,690 --> 00:26:25,009
Is that OK?
489
00:26:25,050 --> 00:26:27,644
- Wow, that looks really comfy.
- Sit on it.
490
00:26:27,690 --> 00:26:30,158
? Come closer, come closer and listen
491
00:26:30,210 --> 00:26:34,089
? The beat of my heart keeps on missin'
492
00:26:34,130 --> 00:26:37,725
?I notice it most when we're kissin'
493
00:26:37,770 --> 00:26:41,319
? Come closer and love me tonight
494
00:26:42,570 --> 00:26:44,208
? That's right
495
00:26:44,250 --> 00:26:47,481
? Come closer and cuddle me tight. ?
496
00:26:47,530 --> 00:26:49,600
STEVE: Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
497
00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:52,118
(FIREWORKS FIZZ AND BANG)
498
00:26:57,890 --> 00:27:00,882
?... My heart goes boom bang-a-bangBoom bang-a-bang
499
00:27:00,930 --> 00:27:02,602
? When you are near
500
00:27:02,650 --> 00:27:04,641
? Boom bang-a-bang, boom bang-a-bang
501
00:27:04,690 --> 00:27:06,681
? Loud in my ear
502
00:27:06,730 --> 00:27:08,527
? Pounding away, pounding away
503
00:27:08,570 --> 00:27:10,561
? Won't you be mine?
504
00:27:10,610 --> 00:27:13,647
? Boom bang-a-bang-bang all the time
505
00:27:13,690 --> 00:27:18,320
?It's such a lovely feeling
506
00:27:18,370 --> 00:27:21,442
? When I'm in your arms
507
00:27:21,490 --> 00:27:23,526
? Now you are near
508
00:27:23,570 --> 00:27:26,130
?I wanna hear your heart beat too
509
00:27:26,170 --> 00:27:29,367
? Boom bang-a-bang-bang, I love you
510
00:27:29,410 --> 00:27:33,881
?It's such a lovely feeling
511
00:27:33,930 --> 00:27:37,923
? When I'm in your arms
512
00:27:37,970 --> 00:27:39,642
? Now you are near
513
00:27:39,690 --> 00:27:41,965
?I wanna hear your heart beat too
514
00:27:42,010 --> 00:27:45,649
? Boom bang-a-bang-bang, I love you. ?
Ripped By mstoll
515
00:27:45,699 --> 00:27:50,249
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