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1
00:00:00,750 --> 00:00:03,989
? Boo, boo, boo, boo ?
2
00:00:04,190 --> 00:00:07,649
? Boo, boo, boo, boo ?
3
00:00:07,850 --> 00:00:12,020
? Boo, boo, boo, boo ?
4
00:00:12,230 --> 00:00:16,149
? Boo, boo, boo, boo ?
5
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:20,409
? Boo, boo, boo, boo ?
6
00:00:20,710 --> 00:00:23,000
? Boo, boo, boo, boo ?
7
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:24,829
[laughs]
8
00:00:24,830 --> 00:00:25,999
Ooh!
[growls]
9
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,679
- Mommy!
- Aaaaaaah!
10
00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:29,080
- Duncan!
- Duncan!
11
00:00:29,081 --> 00:00:31,258
12
00:00:31,583 --> 00:00:34,440
[chewing loudly]
13
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:38,480
Really enjoying
that pizza, huh, Claire?
14
00:00:38,490 --> 00:00:40,799
Oh, yes.
I never get pizza at home.
15
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,300
[chuckles] Both my parents
are heart surgeons.
16
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:44,560
They call pizza heart bombs.
17
00:00:44,570 --> 00:00:46,719
Ah, well, we do it
every once in a while.
18
00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:50,999
Every Friday's pizza night
because Mommy's too damn tired.
19
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:55,059
[chuckles] What?
She doesn't know what days are.
20
00:00:55,060 --> 00:00:57,890
- Monday, Tuesday...
- Eat your pizza.
21
00:00:57,900 --> 00:00:58,900
[chuckles]
22
00:00:58,990 --> 00:01:00,560
What's so funny?
"Jay Leno's Garage"?
23
00:01:00,570 --> 00:01:03,670
- I'm watching "Shut Up, Trish."
- Wait, what is "Shut Up, Trish"?
24
00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:05,280
You've never heard
of "Shut Up, Trish?"
25
00:01:05,304 --> 00:01:07,239
It's the funniest thing.
It's so funny.
26
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,419
Don't feel bad, Mrs. Harris.
I've never heard of it either.
27
00:01:09,420 --> 00:01:11,020
My parents don't let me
have a cell phone
28
00:01:11,044 --> 00:01:12,070
because they think that...
29
00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,669
Yeah, yeah, they call 'em
brain bombs. We get it, Claire.
30
00:01:14,670 --> 00:01:17,189
Oh, "Shut Up, Trish"
is this hilarious video
31
00:01:17,190 --> 00:01:19,579
where, like, a mom is trying
to buy her daughter a shirt,
32
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,529
and then the girl
tells her mom to shut up.
33
00:01:21,530 --> 00:01:22,769
She's my hero.
34
00:01:22,770 --> 00:01:26,179
- That shirt looks nice on you, honey.
- Shut up, Trish!
35
00:01:26,180 --> 00:01:27,529
[laughter]
36
00:01:27,530 --> 00:01:29,429
Mommy, tell me
this shirt looks nice
37
00:01:29,430 --> 00:01:33,019
- so I can tell you to shut up.
- So now it is funny to be rude
38
00:01:33,020 --> 00:01:35,859
to the woman who loves you
more than anything in the world
39
00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:38,829
and is just trying to buy you
a darling top.
40
00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:41,769
Yeah, and she's stupid rich.
She's got 12 million likes,
41
00:01:41,770 --> 00:01:43,529
danced with Ellen
on "The Ellen Show,"
42
00:01:43,530 --> 00:01:45,789
and is playing the villain
in the next Spider-Man movie.
43
00:01:45,790 --> 00:01:49,299
Whoa, one viral video,
and you're set for life.
44
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:51,369
[harp strums]
45
00:01:51,370 --> 00:01:52,969
- [groans]
- Cut!
46
00:01:52,970 --> 00:01:55,280
I'm sorry.
Can I kill Spider-Man?
47
00:01:55,290 --> 00:01:58,399
- You're playing the villain.
- But I'm a viral star.
48
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:02,399
- Swap.
- And action.
49
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:04,740
[bones brake]
[harp strums] I gotta go.
50
00:02:06,070 --> 00:02:07,820
Hmm.
51
00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:12,639
Hey, looks like your friend
Cody is having a party.
52
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,910
Yeah, his dad's having heart
surgery, so he's throwing a rager.
53
00:02:14,911 --> 00:02:17,639
My parents are doing the surgery.
It's their date night.
54
00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:19,990
That's nice.
Be home by 9:00,
55
00:02:19,991 --> 00:02:22,309
and take this
untouched veggie pizza
56
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,979
that we had to order for Claire.
57
00:02:23,980 --> 00:02:27,000
I wasn't invited because I'm at
a music festival this weekend.
58
00:02:27,024 --> 00:02:29,649
- But you're not.
- That's what unpops like us say
59
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:33,509
- when we're not invited to save face.
- Stop!
60
00:02:33,510 --> 00:02:35,269
We're not supposed to tell
our parents our deepest hurts
61
00:02:35,270 --> 00:02:36,930
because they feel
they have to fix it.
62
00:02:36,940 --> 00:02:39,104
Come on, let's go post
pictures of ourselves
63
00:02:39,105 --> 00:02:41,269
in floppy hats and
say we're at Coachella.
64
00:02:41,270 --> 00:02:45,499
Jack, our daughter is an unpop!
We have to fix it.
65
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:47,929
But we always tell her
popularity doesn't matter.
66
00:02:47,930 --> 00:02:49,509
It's who you are on the inside.
67
00:02:49,510 --> 00:02:53,179
Well, of course we say that,
but we both know that's not true.
68
00:02:53,180 --> 00:02:55,359
Remember how popular
we were in high school?
69
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:56,450
Were we ever!
70
00:02:56,460 --> 00:02:58,609
We never had a night
with nothing to do.
71
00:02:58,610 --> 00:03:01,129
It was exhausting
being as popular as we were.
72
00:03:01,130 --> 00:03:02,869
[together]
I had two dates for the prom.
73
00:03:02,870 --> 00:03:03,940
You did?
74
00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:06,869
They even gave us
the yearbook cover.
75
00:03:06,870 --> 00:03:08,830
If we could get the pops
to hang with our unpop,
76
00:03:08,854 --> 00:03:11,360
- they'd see she's a total pop.
- Let's meddle.
77
00:03:11,361 --> 00:03:13,289
[together] Go parents!
78
00:03:13,290 --> 00:03:14,809
- Yeah!
- Pow.
79
00:03:14,810 --> 00:03:18,369
- Can I go to Bradley's house?
- Sure, hop on.
80
00:03:18,370 --> 00:03:20,730
[grunts]
Go, Jing!
81
00:03:21,980 --> 00:03:23,979
[video game beeping]
82
00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:26,319
I win. Suck it, I guess.
83
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,040
- Play again?
- Whatever.
84
00:03:28,050 --> 00:03:29,139
[groan together]
85
00:03:29,140 --> 00:03:30,969
Guys, what are we doing
with our lives?
86
00:03:30,970 --> 00:03:33,399
We're supposed to be the generation
that stops climate change,
87
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,549
- ends gun violence, and frees the nip.
- Mia's right.
88
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,660
I could donate these coins
to the homeless
89
00:03:38,670 --> 00:03:40,559
instead of just buying
another backwards hat.
90
00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:42,330
- I'm fired up.
- Hell yeah!
91
00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:44,409
Let's go change the world.
92
00:03:44,410 --> 00:03:47,229
Let's get famous
by making a viral video.
93
00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:49,509
Hell yeah!
Let's go do that.
94
00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:50,899
[jar shatters]
95
00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:53,679
I was so close...
Hey, wait up!
96
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:56,089
If people thought
"Shut Up, Trish" was funny,
97
00:03:56,090 --> 00:03:59,180
wait until they hear me
tell my grandma to shut up.
98
00:03:59,190 --> 00:04:02,440
- Livestream up, Yangzi?
- You know I'm rolling.
99
00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:06,339
[snoring]
100
00:04:06,340 --> 00:04:07,599
Shut up, Grandma!
101
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,599
What in the good Lord's name
have I done
102
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:14,420
to inspire such cruelty in you?
103
00:04:14,430 --> 00:04:18,440
- No, Grandma, it's just a joke.
- No, it's obvious I've failed you.
104
00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:21,539
I'll pack my things
and go back to Dayton.
105
00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:24,379
No, Grandma!
Please don't leave!
106
00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:27,289
Ugh, I think a piece
of the devil got in me.
107
00:04:27,290 --> 00:04:30,379
[sobbing] You're my everything, Grandma!
You're my everything.
108
00:04:30,380 --> 00:04:34,869
Oh, now hush.
Come hug your grandma.
109
00:04:34,870 --> 00:04:35,780
[sobs]
110
00:04:35,781 --> 00:04:38,299
[both together]
? Swing low ?
111
00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:41,559
? Sweet chariot ?
112
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:45,850
? Coming for to carry me home ?
[all crying]
113
00:04:47,810 --> 00:04:49,120
What up, free world?
114
00:04:49,130 --> 00:04:50,380
This is bottle flip.
115
00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:52,389
I'm gonna go
for 1,000 in a row.
116
00:04:52,390 --> 00:04:55,149
One.
All right, now, one.
117
00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:56,909
Hoo. One.
118
00:04:56,910 --> 00:04:58,149
Dang. One.
119
00:04:58,150 --> 00:04:59,740
Shoot. One.
120
00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:01,079
One, one.
121
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,309
Okay, we 'bout to... nope, one.
122
00:05:03,310 --> 00:05:05,580
One, one.
All right, you get it.
123
00:05:06,810 --> 00:05:10,960
All right, now push your face
into that bread nice and slow.
124
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,589
And who's the audience
for this again?
125
00:05:14,590 --> 00:05:17,550
It's better you don't know.
Just keep facing.
126
00:05:21,430 --> 00:05:24,509
All right, America
and Spider-Man director,
127
00:05:24,510 --> 00:05:26,769
I'm about to do something
so dangerous,
128
00:05:26,770 --> 00:05:30,270
I'm gonna break the Internet
and hopefully both my legs.
129
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:33,169
I'm gonna run down
the up escalator
130
00:05:33,170 --> 00:05:38,080
in a little stunt I call...
"running down the up escalator."
131
00:05:40,010 --> 00:05:41,509
[inhales deeply]
132
00:05:41,510 --> 00:05:43,529
[screams]
133
00:05:43,530 --> 00:05:46,109
Take that, "Shut Up, Trish."
134
00:05:46,110 --> 00:05:48,530
[grunts]
135
00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:51,350
Ugh, help!
136
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:54,359
[all grunting]
137
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,209
Gotta end sometime, right?
138
00:05:56,210 --> 00:05:58,879
- Ooh.
- Ow.
139
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,450
Let's bounce.
I will not be Blarted.
140
00:06:01,460 --> 00:06:04,560
[all wincing and groaning]
141
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,810
Oh, my God,
Cody has a chest hair.
142
00:06:09,820 --> 00:06:12,370
And look at that
shark tooth necklace.
143
00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:14,130
I heard it's
from Fort Lauderdale.
144
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:16,049
[together] Ooh.
145
00:06:16,050 --> 00:06:18,309
[pop music]
146
00:06:18,450 --> 00:06:21,610
Cool party.
And cooler shark tooth necklace.
147
00:06:21,620 --> 00:06:25,139
- Somebody's been to Fort Lauderdale.
- Jack, focus.
148
00:06:25,140 --> 00:06:28,309
We are here for our
depressingly unpopular daughter.
149
00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:30,620
Right, let's do this.
150
00:06:32,390 --> 00:06:34,539
Hey!
[all gasp]
151
00:06:34,540 --> 00:06:35,480
What happened to my water?
152
00:06:35,481 --> 00:06:38,139
Hands up!
Pool party enforcement.
153
00:06:38,174 --> 00:06:40,539
Looks like your parents
didn't pay the water bill.
154
00:06:40,540 --> 00:06:44,549
Guess your party fun
is all dried up.
155
00:06:44,550 --> 00:06:47,569
- Unless...
- Unless what?
156
00:06:47,570 --> 00:06:50,899
Unless there was a more
awesome party venue.
157
00:06:50,900 --> 00:06:54,559
Maybe... I don't know...
say, across the street?
158
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:55,669
I'm cold, man.
159
00:06:55,670 --> 00:06:57,729
Stop acting weird
and tell us where to go.
160
00:06:57,730 --> 00:07:00,650
Achieving viral fame
is a lot harder than it looks.
161
00:07:00,660 --> 00:07:02,489
Hats off to that farting priest.
162
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:04,419
You kids are in a lot of trouble.
163
00:07:04,420 --> 00:07:05,569
[all gasp]
164
00:07:05,570 --> 00:07:06,840
Wait, I said that wrong.
165
00:07:06,850 --> 00:07:08,509
You kids are gonna be
rich and famous.
166
00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:11,170
I'm Daryl Chrisakowsi,
senior VP of digital
167
00:07:11,171 --> 00:07:13,830
youth marketing for
Stroke-a-Cola energy drink.
168
00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,909
That's the drink that gave all
those test mice super diabetes.
169
00:07:16,910 --> 00:07:19,509
- Give me some.
- I saw your escalator video.
170
00:07:19,510 --> 00:07:20,950
You saw our video?
Did we go viral?
171
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,509
No, my dad's a mall cop,
and he told me about it,
172
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:24,790
but I think
you're extreme enough
173
00:07:24,814 --> 00:07:27,374
to be the new face
of our fine product.
174
00:07:28,090 --> 00:07:29,519
But first, you need
to make a video
175
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:30,699
featuring Stroke-a-Cola,
176
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:33,949
and it needs to get a million
views in the next 12 hours.
177
00:07:33,950 --> 00:07:36,189
- Can you do it?
- [all] Hell yeah.
178
00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:39,379
I don't know.
I think we all have concussions.
179
00:07:39,380 --> 00:07:42,029
I mean, hell yeah!
180
00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:43,269
Kimberly!
181
00:07:43,270 --> 00:07:46,219
Ugh, I don't care
which Beach Boy died!
182
00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:48,050
We have a surprise for you!
183
00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:50,299
[both gasp]
184
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:52,219
Every kid in town.
185
00:07:52,220 --> 00:07:54,129
[both scream]
186
00:07:54,130 --> 00:07:57,059
[wailing]
[grunts]
187
00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:58,772
Hey.
188
00:08:01,750 --> 00:08:03,509
[indistinct chatter]
189
00:08:03,510 --> 00:08:04,829
What the hell is going on?
190
00:08:04,830 --> 00:08:06,269
We hijacked Cody's party
191
00:08:06,270 --> 00:08:09,259
and turned it
into Kimberpalooza.
192
00:08:09,260 --> 00:08:12,429
Are you insane?
I can't host a middle school party.
193
00:08:12,430 --> 00:08:14,019
First of all, you're here.
194
00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:16,689
Chillax, baby,
we got everything you need,
195
00:08:16,690 --> 00:08:20,908
starting with T-T-Twister!
196
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:25,119
Blu-ray director's cut
of "The Secret Life of Pets."
197
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,770
What could they be up to?
We'll just have to find out!
198
00:08:27,780 --> 00:08:29,180
And the one thing
199
00:08:29,190 --> 00:08:31,689
any boy-girl party
wouldn't be complete without.
200
00:08:31,690 --> 00:08:35,190
- A bottle.
- For spinning... [all gasp]
201
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,551
to play spin the bottle
into the recycling bin.
202
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:39,649
[murmurs of disappointment]
203
00:08:39,684 --> 00:08:42,049
Okay, everybody, I'm sorry
you got dragged over here.
204
00:08:42,050 --> 00:08:44,369
If you wanna write loser
on my forehead,
205
00:08:44,370 --> 00:08:48,459
- I understand.
- Ah, I get it. It's a retro party.
206
00:08:48,460 --> 00:08:50,149
- Cool.
- Yeah, retro.
207
00:08:50,150 --> 00:08:54,086
- I now think it's cool.
- I now think the same.
208
00:08:54,121 --> 00:08:55,799
Damn right, it's a retro party.
209
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:59,110
Dad, fire up the T-T-Twister.
210
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:06,219
Left foot green?
I did not see that coming.
211
00:09:06,220 --> 00:09:07,739
They look like
they're having fun.
212
00:09:07,740 --> 00:09:10,819
- Do you have a Twister game, Bradley?
- Heavens no.
213
00:09:10,820 --> 00:09:14,650
I prefer games that
challenge the mind. Let's see.
214
00:09:15,820 --> 00:09:18,659
- I have Mille Bornes.
- Uh-huh.
215
00:09:18,660 --> 00:09:21,659
- Nine-men's morris.
- Sure.
216
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:23,250
Mancala, cribbage,
217
00:09:23,260 --> 00:09:26,849
Game of the District
Messenger Boy.
218
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,099
Or let's have an imaginary tea party.
219
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:33,249
I generally use
my imagination for wondering
220
00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:37,100
what it would be like
to live in a colorblind world.
221
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:40,172
It's getting cold, Bradley.
222
00:09:41,260 --> 00:09:42,660
[slurps]
223
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,899
Come on, guys,
we need a viral video.
224
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:47,749
That strange dude
from that shady company
225
00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:51,419
- is counting on us.
- Ooh, how about this?
226
00:09:51,420 --> 00:09:54,239
We find an otter
and gradually earn its trust
227
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:57,519
until one day he introduces us
to his otter family.
228
00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,859
Once we're accepted
as one of their own,
229
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:03,529
we film us working together
as a human otter society
230
00:10:03,530 --> 00:10:05,699
to make a dam
out of the soda bottles...
231
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:08,382
Ugh, it's been done before.
232
00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:12,290
Ugh, we need
to stimulate our brains.
233
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:14,779
Caffeine up.
234
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:17,040
[soda rumbles]
235
00:10:17,780 --> 00:10:19,189
- Whoa!
- What the?
236
00:10:19,190 --> 00:10:21,950
Whoa, how did you do that?
237
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,549
What else did you have
in your mouth?
238
00:10:23,550 --> 00:10:25,109
I don't know, nothing.
239
00:10:25,110 --> 00:10:27,719
Just this super dangerously
caffeinated energy drink
240
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,890
and the breath mint I chew
instead of brushing my teeth.
241
00:10:31,970 --> 00:10:33,799
- Whoa!
- Oh, my God!
242
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,389
Did anybody else notice that?
243
00:10:35,390 --> 00:10:37,709
If a little Stroke-a
and Dentos did that,
244
00:10:37,710 --> 00:10:40,060
think of what a lot of
Stroke-a and Dentos could do.
245
00:10:40,070 --> 00:10:41,959
This could be
the clean energy solution
246
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:43,219
we've been looking for.
247
00:10:43,220 --> 00:10:45,739
This is the idea
that could change the world.
248
00:10:45,740 --> 00:10:46,900
Mia is right.
249
00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:50,239
Let's build a rocket
and see how fast it goes.
250
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:54,550
We need one of these, but big.
Hmm...
251
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:56,489
[chatters]
252
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,489
Hey, let's use
that old hot water heater
253
00:10:58,490 --> 00:11:00,069
my dad told my mom
we took to the dump.
254
00:11:00,070 --> 00:11:01,979
We can't be riding around
on a rocket.
255
00:11:01,980 --> 00:11:03,089
We have concussions.
256
00:11:03,090 --> 00:11:06,420
No, we don't,
Mia One and Mia Two.
257
00:11:06,430 --> 00:11:09,169
[indistinct chatter]
258
00:11:09,170 --> 00:11:11,319
Kimberly, this party is sick.
259
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:16,099
- And your hair is amazing.
- Thanks, I hate it. [laughter]
260
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:18,509
Quite the little soire�, isn't it?
261
00:11:18,510 --> 00:11:21,589
You guys believed I could be
popular even when I didn't.
262
00:11:21,590 --> 00:11:24,170
You are the coolest parents.
263
00:11:25,090 --> 00:11:27,849
Cody's waiting for you
at the make out closet.
264
00:11:27,850 --> 00:11:29,929
[gasps] I gotta get rid
of my jerk parents.
265
00:11:29,930 --> 00:11:33,339
Who wants cake
and/or ice cream?
266
00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:34,449
Mm-mmm.
267
00:11:34,450 --> 00:11:35,840
[laughs]
268
00:11:35,850 --> 00:11:37,619
Mom, Claire's lactose intolerant.
269
00:11:37,620 --> 00:11:40,679
You've gotta go to the store and
get sorbet or else she'll die.
270
00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:42,869
Well, or she could just
not have the ice cream.
271
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,869
Then she'll kill herself
for missing out.
272
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:47,279
Either way, Claire's dead,
and it's on you.
273
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:50,657
- Hm.
- Isn't that right, Claire?
274
00:11:50,820 --> 00:11:52,280
It's true.
275
00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:56,360
Ooh, I'm feeling lightheaded
just talking about ice cream.
276
00:11:56,370 --> 00:11:58,719
Okay, okay, as long
as your father is here
277
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:01,039
to keep an eye on things, I'll go.
278
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:03,889
That was my first lie.
You do that every day?
279
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,629
If you don't,
you lose your edge.
280
00:12:05,630 --> 00:12:07,630
And now, to the closet.
281
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,899
See, the key to raising
a prize-winning watermelon
282
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:14,139
is lots of water,
but not too much water.
283
00:12:14,140 --> 00:12:15,940
Hey, Dad, too bad
your guitar's in the shop.
284
00:12:15,964 --> 00:12:18,329
All the kids have been asking
about you doing a live set.
285
00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:21,120
Really? Tell your mother
to keep an eye on things.
286
00:12:21,144 --> 00:12:23,559
- I've got a gig!
- Gotta get ready for my first kiss.
287
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,559
[sucking saliva]
288
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:26,729
I'm ready.
289
00:12:26,730 --> 00:12:29,159
Hey, where does Dad keep
his extra toilet?
290
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:30,989
Ugh!
There's one in the garage.
291
00:12:30,990 --> 00:12:32,550
- What are you doing?
- Building a rocket.
292
00:12:32,574 --> 00:12:34,589
What does it look like?
What are you doing?
293
00:12:34,590 --> 00:12:35,590
I don't have all day.
294
00:12:35,591 --> 00:12:37,160
My old man's
almost out of surgery,
295
00:12:37,170 --> 00:12:39,920
- You're making out with guys?
- You're stealing Dad's stuff.
296
00:12:39,930 --> 00:12:41,210
[both together]
I'm telling Mom.
297
00:12:41,211 --> 00:12:42,904
Wait, don't tell Mom.
298
00:12:42,939 --> 00:12:45,019
That's Dad's shower chair.
He has one rule.
299
00:12:45,020 --> 00:12:46,870
[mockingly]
"Don't touch my shower chair."
300
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:51,613
Once I'm famous, none of us
will ever have to shower again.
301
00:12:51,614 --> 00:12:54,257
[wheels creaking]
302
00:12:55,530 --> 00:12:57,869
Have fun
at your unsupervised party.
303
00:12:57,870 --> 00:13:01,869
- Did he say "unsupervised"?
- Yes, I did.
304
00:13:01,870 --> 00:13:07,786
I've never been unsupervised.
Goodbye, coaster!
305
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,863
What a rush!
It's seven-layer dip!
306
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,890
I feel them all.
[laughs]
307
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:24,619
Don't just stand there.
308
00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:26,549
We're unsupervised!
309
00:13:26,550 --> 00:13:28,710
[all cheer]
310
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:29,809
- [pop music]
- Hi.
311
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:31,992
Are you gonna talk
this whole time?
312
00:13:32,027 --> 00:13:33,389
You're amazing.
Let's kiss.
313
00:13:33,390 --> 00:13:36,719
[gasps]
[people screaming]
314
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:42,300
[laughs]
Faster!
315
00:13:45,070 --> 00:13:46,159
Ah!
316
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,589
Okay, who's up
for "Secret Life of Pets"?
317
00:13:48,590 --> 00:13:52,297
When the human's away,
the pets will... ah!
318
00:13:57,910 --> 00:14:00,010
Okay, all fueled up.
319
00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:03,099
Dang, you serious?
320
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:05,839
Countdown checklist... steering?
321
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,079
- No.
- Brakes?
322
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,910
- No.
- Helmets.
323
00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:09,930
- No.
- American flag?
324
00:14:09,940 --> 00:14:11,430
Hell yeah.
325
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,769
Duncan, are you really sure
you wanna do this?
326
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:15,329
I have to.
327
00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:17,250
I made a sacred vow
to an energy drink sales rep.
328
00:14:17,251 --> 00:14:18,731
Okay, but if you
don't make it back,
329
00:14:18,755 --> 00:14:20,669
there's one thing
that I want you to know.
330
00:14:20,670 --> 00:14:24,411
- Hm?
- This was completely unnecessary.
331
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:26,279
What up, America?
332
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,509
It's your boy Yangzi
streaming to you live
333
00:14:28,510 --> 00:14:29,840
for Stroke-a-Cola Energy Drink,
334
00:14:29,850 --> 00:14:31,959
the only energy drink
that will stop your heart
335
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,349
and start your mind.
336
00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:35,369
What you're about to see
is totally real,
337
00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:36,680
unlike the moon landing.
338
00:14:36,690 --> 00:14:40,050
- Here we go.
- Let's fire this baby up!
339
00:14:41,450 --> 00:14:45,340
Here I come, God, you coward!
340
00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:49,710
- What's wrong?
- Hang on, let me jiggle it.
341
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,049
[rocket booms]
342
00:14:51,050 --> 00:14:53,629
[all screaming]
343
00:14:53,630 --> 00:14:57,220
I'm sorry, God!
You're so damn brave!
344
00:14:57,370 --> 00:15:00,319
- [deadpan] We're gonna die.
- If we die, we die together.
345
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,110
Whoa!
346
00:15:03,850 --> 00:15:05,379
We gotta do something.
347
00:15:05,380 --> 00:15:07,549
Right, let's make a GoFundMe
for Duncan's funeral.
348
00:15:07,550 --> 00:15:10,240
His family's gonna be so broke.
349
00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:16,409
Okay, dairy-free desert
for the girl who ate half a pizza.
350
00:15:16,410 --> 00:15:19,079
All right, what would
12-year-olds love?
351
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,489
I know, an hour of acoustic Rush!
352
00:15:21,490 --> 00:15:24,399
Jack, you're supposed to be
supervising the party.
353
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,829
Kimberly told me
you were supervising.
354
00:15:26,830 --> 00:15:28,089
[gasps]
355
00:15:28,090 --> 00:15:30,659
[chuckles]
Oh, Annie, you got played.
356
00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:34,350
We both got played
like nine-men's morris.
357
00:15:34,385 --> 00:15:35,940
I'm gonna lay down the law
on that kid
358
00:15:35,950 --> 00:15:39,079
- as soon as I'm done with my gig.
- There is no gig.
359
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:41,480
First one home
gets to ground Kimberly.
360
00:15:42,770 --> 00:15:44,729
[tires squealing]
361
00:15:44,730 --> 00:15:46,009
[screams]
362
00:15:46,010 --> 00:15:47,410
- Oh!
- [grunts]
363
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,349
Jack, you're driving
too fast and too furious.
364
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:56,337
It's for family, Annie.
All we got is family... family!
365
00:15:58,950 --> 00:16:01,599
Duncan?
What the hell are you doing?
366
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:04,210
A viral stunt. I wanna be
famous and kill Spider-Man.
367
00:16:04,220 --> 00:16:06,339
Is that my shower chair?
368
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:09,609
I have one rule, Duncan!
One rule!
369
00:16:09,610 --> 00:16:11,609
[siren blares]
370
00:16:11,610 --> 00:16:15,821
- [over PA] You on the water heater, pull over.
- Can't, no brakes.
371
00:16:15,856 --> 00:16:17,421
I got a shot.
Should I open fire?
372
00:16:17,456 --> 00:16:19,661
Did you learn nothing
from the seminar?
373
00:16:20,550 --> 00:16:22,470
[screams]
374
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,380
I can't stop wetting myself!
375
00:16:25,390 --> 00:16:27,979
He is surprisingly excited about that.
376
00:16:27,980 --> 00:16:32,649
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
We're at 999,000.
377
00:16:32,650 --> 00:16:34,559
We're about to be
famous forever.
378
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,749
[rocket roars]
[crash]
379
00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:38,970
[pop music]
380
00:16:38,980 --> 00:16:40,320
[gasps]
381
00:16:40,330 --> 00:16:42,589
Hey, you know what's more fun
than stabbing?
382
00:16:42,590 --> 00:16:46,409
Sitting.
[chuckles]
383
00:16:46,410 --> 00:16:48,220
- [screams]
- [laughs]
384
00:16:49,590 --> 00:16:51,079
Mom's cart!
385
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,409
Hey, you know what's
also extreme?
386
00:16:52,410 --> 00:16:54,669
Charging that in the outlet.
387
00:16:54,670 --> 00:16:56,489
Okay.
388
00:16:56,490 --> 00:16:57,659
Hi-yah!
389
00:16:57,660 --> 00:16:59,840
Hey, are those
my dad's Steely Dan albums?
390
00:16:59,850 --> 00:17:02,606
- Yeah.
- Carry on.
391
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:04,320
Hi-yah!
392
00:17:08,670 --> 00:17:10,729
What the heck
is happening down there?
393
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,949
They're acting out
because they don't know
394
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:14,930
how to cope with their hormones.
395
00:17:14,940 --> 00:17:17,099
I wanna be friends
with my hormones.
396
00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:22,290
There's no way around
adolescence... only through.
397
00:17:22,690 --> 00:17:25,850
- Wanna act like puppies?
- Okay.
398
00:17:25,860 --> 00:17:28,836
[barking]
399
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,209
Why aren't you making
any sounds?
400
00:17:31,210 --> 00:17:35,016
I'm a basenji,
the barkless dog.
401
00:17:35,051 --> 00:17:37,156
[sighs]
Of course you are.
402
00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:39,060
Claire, we've gotta
figure out a cool way
403
00:17:39,084 --> 00:17:40,369
to shut this party down.
404
00:17:40,370 --> 00:17:41,370
[gasps]
405
00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:44,209
What's that in your hand?
Is that a peanut?
406
00:17:44,210 --> 00:17:45,559
Don't you dare.
You're allergic!
407
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:48,559
My entire life,
I've never had one.
408
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:52,659
I have to know!
Take my EpiPen.
409
00:17:52,660 --> 00:17:54,809
Claire, no,
if your throat closes,
410
00:17:54,810 --> 00:17:56,489
who will help me clean?
411
00:17:56,490 --> 00:17:57,480
[inhales]
412
00:17:57,481 --> 00:17:58,979
See you on the other side.
413
00:17:58,980 --> 00:18:01,069
[rocket rumbles]
414
00:18:01,070 --> 00:18:05,910
Wow, it's everything
my allergist said...
415
00:18:05,945 --> 00:18:07,630
[screams]
416
00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:13,253
[people screaming]
417
00:18:16,850 --> 00:18:19,640
[people continue screaming]
418
00:18:21,930 --> 00:18:25,599
- [people cheer]
- [inhales rapidly]
419
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,839
I think I do better
with supervision.
420
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,029
[groans]
421
00:18:29,030 --> 00:18:30,710
Duncan, how many fingers
am I holding up?
422
00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:31,679
One.
423
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:34,990
And what's my one rule?
Oh.
424
00:18:40,456 --> 00:18:41,689
[explosion]
425
00:18:41,810 --> 00:18:43,809
All right, kids,
everyone go home.
426
00:18:43,810 --> 00:18:46,050
Nothing to see here.
427
00:18:46,060 --> 00:18:47,239
Are you kidding?
428
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:48,920
A toilet just took out
a police helicopter.
429
00:18:48,944 --> 00:18:50,909
Kimberly threw
the greatest party of all time.
430
00:18:50,910 --> 00:18:53,390
[kids cheer]
431
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,169
Whoa, hold on, Margot's
parents are lost at sea.
432
00:18:56,170 --> 00:18:58,159
She's home alone
until they find them.
433
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:01,239
- They've got a finished basement.
- And her dad has a hookah!
434
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,750
Margot's the new Kimberly!
435
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:04,640
[kids cheer]
436
00:19:06,350 --> 00:19:09,909
[grunts] What up, dumbasses?
You know me.
437
00:19:09,910 --> 00:19:12,244
Daryl Chrisakowsi,
senior VP of digital youth
438
00:19:12,245 --> 00:19:14,579
marketing for
Stroke-a-Cola energy drink.
439
00:19:14,580 --> 00:19:16,930
So am I the new face
of Stroke-a-Cola?
440
00:19:16,940 --> 00:19:18,249
Absolutely.
441
00:19:18,250 --> 00:19:20,919
Wait, I said that wrong.
No.
442
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,420
You, peanut girl.
How'd you like to be the face
443
00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:26,109
of a company involved
in three class action lawsuits?
444
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,830
- Okay.
- But I almost died.
445
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,669
And I appreciate that,
but she did die.
446
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,899
- I saw God.
- I love it.
447
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:36,300
The Christian market
is gonna eat you up.
448
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,800
Bye, dumbasses!
449
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,739
[both together]
I was so close.
450
00:19:44,740 --> 00:19:46,409
Popularity is for losers.
451
00:19:46,410 --> 00:19:48,634
Yeah, they're probably
all in Margot's stupid
452
00:19:48,635 --> 00:19:50,859
finished basement
making out like idiots.
453
00:19:50,860 --> 00:19:54,860
- Yeah, losers.
- Yeah. [sucks saliva]
454
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:59,849
The quest for celebrity
is a hollow pursuit.
455
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:02,929
Validation must come
from within.
456
00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:04,200
Socrates posited...
457
00:20:04,210 --> 00:20:07,014
[together]
Bradley, go home!
458
00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:10,323
Very well.
[panting weakly]
459
00:20:11,190 --> 00:20:13,879
I have never been more furious
at you kids in my life.
460
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,389
The only thing
that'll calm me down
461
00:20:15,390 --> 00:20:17,579
is eating the watermelon
I spent all summer growing
462
00:20:17,580 --> 00:20:21,572
while listening to the soothing
jazz rock of Steely Dan.
463
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:28,409
No!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
464
00:20:28,410 --> 00:20:30,964
Okay, kids, go inside and tell your dad
465
00:20:30,965 --> 00:20:33,519
how sorry you are and
how much you love him.
466
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,429
- Mom, no!
- What did I do?
467
00:20:36,430 --> 00:20:39,109
Please, just beat us!
468
00:20:44,790 --> 00:20:46,899
It's sturdy,
but I don't feel cradled.
469
00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:49,459
It's just so hard to tell
with my clothes on.
470
00:20:49,460 --> 00:20:50,790
What do you think, honey?
471
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,299
They're all equally pathetic.
Jack, pick one.
472
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:55,389
Duncan, you selfishly
destroyed my chair.
473
00:20:55,390 --> 00:20:56,649
What do you think?
474
00:20:56,650 --> 00:20:59,299
Ugh, quiet, I'm watching
something important.
475
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,650
[gasps]
476
00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:02,410
Shock your system
with Stroke-a-Cola.
477
00:21:02,420 --> 00:21:04,069
Ugh, no fair.
478
00:21:04,070 --> 00:21:06,569
Why couldn't I have been
born with deadly allergies?
479
00:21:06,570 --> 00:21:08,089
[gasps]
Look at this.
480
00:21:08,090 --> 00:21:10,569
Claire's at Coachella with
Shut Up, Trish, and Spider-Man.
481
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:11,829
Come on, take a sit.
482
00:21:11,830 --> 00:21:14,169
I don't have time to sit
in the shower, okay?
483
00:21:14,170 --> 00:21:16,150
I'm a busy, working mother.
484
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,579
I'm juggling home and...
[gasps]
485
00:21:18,580 --> 00:21:20,579
- Oh, my God.
- Right?
486
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,489
Scooch over.
487
00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:26,510
Now imagine the water's
been running for 90 minutes.
488
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:27,679
[both moaning]
489
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:29,499
- Oh, my goodness.
- Oh.
490
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:31,180
- Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.
- God, stop.
491
00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:32,650
Blegh.
492
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,141
493
00:21:37,191 --> 00:21:41,741
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