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1
00:00:34,026 --> 00:00:36,828
So, stick with me here.
2
00:00:36,861 --> 00:00:39,798
I know y'all came to see
a comedy about the Blacks,
3
00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:42,600
everyone's favorite family
with the perfect daughter
4
00:00:42,634 --> 00:00:44,903
that somehow survived
Terror Night.
5
00:00:46,871 --> 00:00:50,008
You didn't sign up to see
some Egyptians open an evil box
6
00:00:50,042 --> 00:00:53,312
and a bat flap his ass
across an Indiana Jones map.
7
00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:57,015
Trust me,
it'll all make sense later.
8
00:00:57,049 --> 00:00:58,750
Well, since we last met,
9
00:00:58,783 --> 00:01:01,187
Dad wrote a bestseller
based on Terror Night.
10
00:01:01,220 --> 00:01:03,189
But then Dad and Cronut
blew that money
11
00:01:03,222 --> 00:01:05,857
faster than a rapper
at a strip club.
12
00:01:05,890 --> 00:01:09,028
We're back in Atlanta.
13
00:01:09,061 --> 00:01:10,829
And Dad's writin' the sequel,
14
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:13,199
and we were just getting used
to being back home
15
00:01:13,232 --> 00:01:16,701
when this very bat
flew into our lives.
16
00:01:16,734 --> 00:01:18,803
Seriously, pray for us, y'all.
17
00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:08,187
We're back
on the GGN News Network.
18
00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:10,955
I'm your host with the most,
Finding Nemo, aka Nemo Hoser.
19
00:02:10,989 --> 00:02:13,292
Today on my show,
I got a very special guest,
20
00:02:13,325 --> 00:02:17,829
the one and only, the author Carl
Black in the motherfucking house.
21
00:02:17,862 --> 00:02:19,165
Mr. Black,
what's happening?
22
00:02:19,198 --> 00:02:20,932
Snoop!
How are you, man?
23
00:02:20,965 --> 00:02:22,700
I'm good, Carl.
How you doin' today, brother?
24
00:02:22,734 --> 00:02:24,002
I'm excited, man.
25
00:02:24,036 --> 00:02:25,770
I got this new book
coming out.
26
00:02:25,803 --> 00:02:28,140
It's called Terror Night.
Mm. I wrote it.
27
00:02:28,174 --> 00:02:29,141
It's from my heart.
28
00:02:29,175 --> 00:02:30,476
This is my baby.
29
00:02:30,509 --> 00:02:32,344
What makes this book
a great read
30
00:02:32,378 --> 00:02:34,246
for the average nigga
sitting at home doing nothing?
31
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:38,417
You know, most Black people
know about terror.
32
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,119
Mr. Black, I'm forced
to tell you the truth.
33
00:02:40,152 --> 00:02:42,288
It is an easy read.
Real easy.
34
00:02:42,321 --> 00:02:43,955
What you mean by that?
35
00:02:43,988 --> 00:02:46,425
"There was
a Black man that..."
36
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:48,194
That's bullshit, Snoop.
37
00:02:48,227 --> 00:02:49,894
Go get my book.
It's called Terror Night.
38
00:02:52,064 --> 00:02:53,765
All right. All right. All right.
That's enough Terror Night.
39
00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:55,334
All right. All right.
All right. Thank you.
40
00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:57,336
Now we got a real guest
coming up on the show.
41
00:02:57,369 --> 00:02:59,438
Make some noise for the
one and only Matt Barnes.
42
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:01,340
Snoop, what's going on, man?
Thanks for having me.
43
00:03:01,373 --> 00:03:02,774
Matt!
44
00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,410
- Who's that?
- Terror Night.
45
00:03:04,443 --> 00:03:06,978
- Ah, this is Carl Black.
- This book is j... Carl Black, man.
46
00:03:07,011 --> 00:03:08,947
You know me.
I wrote Terror Night.
47
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,449
- You read that book?
- The book is crazy.
48
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:12,051
You're gonna love it,
man. And...
49
00:03:12,084 --> 00:03:13,419
That book was terrible.
50
00:03:13,452 --> 00:03:15,753
One of the worst books
I ever read.
51
00:03:15,787 --> 00:03:17,356
You must be havin' a bad day today.
It's a good book, man.
52
00:03:17,389 --> 00:03:19,091
- Nah. It's just a bad book.
- Hey, you should...
53
00:03:19,124 --> 00:03:21,160
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you and that book.
54
00:03:21,193 --> 00:03:23,329
I'm gonna get the fucking fuck.
55
00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:26,098
That nigga's excited.
56
00:03:42,214 --> 00:03:44,849
Okay.
Just don't. Here.
57
00:04:09,575 --> 00:04:10,476
Hey.
58
00:04:11,843 --> 00:04:12,844
Hey!
59
00:04:14,446 --> 00:04:16,181
Hey!
60
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:17,449
What are you doin'?
61
00:04:17,483 --> 00:04:19,218
We're practicing
for the Migos' tour.
62
00:04:19,251 --> 00:04:21,053
The streets need us.
63
00:04:21,086 --> 00:04:22,454
The streets
don't need yo ass.
64
00:04:22,488 --> 00:04:25,124
And stop makin'
all that damn noise.
65
00:04:25,157 --> 00:04:26,924
- Frickin' old guys!
- And stop playing!
66
00:04:26,958 --> 00:04:27,992
Again from the top.
Ready?
67
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:31,230
I'm gonna kick your ass.
68
00:04:31,263 --> 00:04:33,098
Give me the phone!
Cut if off!
69
00:04:33,132 --> 00:04:35,334
- Dad, come on.
- Cut it off! I'm trying to write.
70
00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:37,269
You messed it up again! I bet...
71
00:04:39,538 --> 00:04:40,872
Go.
72
00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:42,541
Daddy, get out!
73
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,343
- Out.
- Hey! Girl, you better stop throwin' shit.
74
00:04:44,376 --> 00:04:46,878
- Go! Shut up!
- I peed in that bed last night.
75
00:04:57,955 --> 00:04:59,924
You know,
I didn't escape the Purge
76
00:04:59,957 --> 00:05:03,062
so somebody would be breakin'
in my fuckin' house!
77
00:05:15,674 --> 00:05:19,578
Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Man, come on, bro.
78
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:22,247
- What's wrong with you?
- Come on, bro.
79
00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:25,150
- Goddamn!
- What's wrong with you?
80
00:05:25,184 --> 00:05:27,186
Goddamn.
Why are you so jumpy?
81
00:05:27,219 --> 00:05:29,921
Yeah, 'cause maybe somebody tried to
break in my house and kill me before.
82
00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:31,956
What you doin' creepin' around
my house this late at night?
83
00:05:31,989 --> 00:05:34,293
The lights in the RV went out.
I had to get some flashlights.
84
00:05:34,326 --> 00:05:36,462
- Some flashlights?
- Not just flashlight.
85
00:05:36,495 --> 00:05:38,397
Purge lights!
You feel me?
86
00:05:38,430 --> 00:05:40,399
You know about these.
Did I tell you about 'em?
87
00:05:40,432 --> 00:05:42,468
You don't need no battery.
That means you crank it right up.
88
00:05:42,501 --> 00:05:44,103
- Just like this.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, man.
89
00:05:44,136 --> 00:05:45,404
- What? What?
- Hey, hey.
90
00:05:45,437 --> 00:05:48,005
Get rid of that janky shit!
Stop orderin' it.
91
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,109
Y'all run around here ballin'
and spendin' money,
92
00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:52,511
leavin' the lights on,
runnin' water,
93
00:05:52,544 --> 00:05:54,979
like there's money
growin' on the tree.
94
00:05:55,012 --> 00:05:57,282
- I don't have no more money.
- 'Cause you ain't selling no goddamn books.
95
00:05:57,316 --> 00:06:00,252
If you sell some goddamn books,
we can goddamn sell these bitches.
96
00:06:00,285 --> 00:06:03,422
- And why're you broke? Huh?
- Get your ass out of here.
97
00:06:03,455 --> 00:06:04,556
Hey, man.
What the fuck, man?
98
00:06:04,590 --> 00:06:07,326
Stop holding me
like a side bitch.
99
00:06:07,359 --> 00:06:09,428
- What's you tripping off of?
- This is the reason right here.
100
00:06:09,461 --> 00:06:13,198
'Cause I can't imagine
why I let you talk me
101
00:06:13,232 --> 00:06:15,234
into spending
my money on this shit.
102
00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:16,934
It's all part
of the business plan, cuz.
103
00:06:16,968 --> 00:06:18,570
No, no, no.
The business plan
104
00:06:18,604 --> 00:06:20,239
is the reason why
Lorena is out
105
00:06:20,272 --> 00:06:23,175
busting her ass
to wipe my old ass.
106
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:24,576
Don't nobody want
to hear about me
107
00:06:24,610 --> 00:06:26,612
moving back
into my old neighborhood
108
00:06:26,645 --> 00:06:29,013
while my cousin livin' in an RV
in the back of my house.
109
00:06:31,116 --> 00:06:33,218
What the fuck
is going on over there, man?
110
00:06:33,252 --> 00:06:35,087
Some crackheads.
111
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:36,522
Next door at the old
Marsten house.
112
00:06:36,555 --> 00:06:38,657
They must be squattin'
or somethin'.
113
00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,192
- Don't forget the...
- Nah. They live there.
114
00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:42,428
I seen 'em move in,
but the crazy part is
115
00:06:42,461 --> 00:06:44,663
all the windows are boarded.
116
00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:47,199
They only come out
at nighttime.
117
00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:49,201
Yeah. Who would move
in a place
118
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:51,203
with a house that's boarded up like that?
119
00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:52,571
And when did they move in?
120
00:06:52,604 --> 00:06:54,206
Yeah. They got in
like a week ago.
121
00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:55,674
- What the fuck?
- Snitch, Snitch,
122
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,509
- where you at?
- Yeah. I watched 'em do it.
123
00:06:57,543 --> 00:06:59,578
They moved in, man.
124
00:06:59,611 --> 00:07:01,647
I see everything.
125
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:04,383
I know you with the neighborhood
watch and everything, but man...
126
00:07:04,416 --> 00:07:06,452
it's getting
a little creepy, man.
127
00:07:06,485 --> 00:07:08,620
All right, ladies, in we go. Your coupe is here.
128
00:07:08,654 --> 00:07:10,522
- Did you hear that?
- Shhh...
129
00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,157
That's some crazy shit.
130
00:07:19,598 --> 00:07:23,202
Somethin' strange
goin' on in that house.
131
00:07:30,609 --> 00:07:31,743
I'm gone.
132
00:07:42,054 --> 00:07:45,257
You will be mine...
133
00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:47,359
unconditionally.
134
00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:59,404
Baby, I think some new people
just moved in next door.
135
00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:02,374
Oh, baby. Leave
those people alone, babe.
136
00:08:02,407 --> 00:08:04,576
Go back to sleep.
137
00:08:22,327 --> 00:08:24,196
This refrigerator's filthy!
138
00:08:26,164 --> 00:08:28,233
- Appreciate shit.
- Ahem.
139
00:08:29,368 --> 00:08:30,836
What are you doing
here, Cronut?
140
00:08:30,869 --> 00:08:32,471
I had to get some milk
for my cereal.
141
00:08:32,504 --> 00:08:34,706
I ran out in the RV.
142
00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:36,642
The door's locked
for a reason.
143
00:08:36,675 --> 00:08:38,210
Who messed up that damn toilet?
144
00:08:38,243 --> 00:08:40,145
Hey, what the fuck
you doin' in here?
145
00:08:40,178 --> 00:08:41,813
Eating breakfast.
What it look like I'm doin'?
146
00:08:41,847 --> 00:08:43,382
You ain't supposed
to be here in the mornings.
147
00:08:43,415 --> 00:08:44,716
You told me I could
come in on Tuesdays.
148
00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:46,084
I'm about sick of your shit.
149
00:08:46,118 --> 00:08:48,120
It's light wheat.
150
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,821
Stay out of the toilet.
151
00:08:49,855 --> 00:08:51,757
You know there's a serial
killer living next door.
152
00:08:51,790 --> 00:08:54,126
God, this boy run
his damn mouth too much.
153
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:57,229
Hey, Carl, Carl.
Check this shit out, bro.
154
00:08:57,262 --> 00:08:59,164
...the death of Chante Webster.
155
00:08:59,197 --> 00:09:02,501
Her badly mutilated corpse
was found inside a dumpster
156
00:09:02,534 --> 00:09:06,638
behind Gus's Chicken and
Waffles on Indian Hill Road.
157
00:09:06,672 --> 00:09:08,340
They found that body
right around the corner.
158
00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:10,108
This is the sixth incident
159
00:09:10,142 --> 00:09:13,178
in a vicious string
of kidnapping and murders,
160
00:09:13,211 --> 00:09:17,616
all of which were either
African-American or Mexican.
161
00:09:17,649 --> 00:09:20,352
Racially motivated?
Perhaps.
162
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:23,255
This is exactly why we need to
move out of this neighborhood.
163
00:09:23,288 --> 00:09:25,257
- Move? Again?
- Yes, move.
164
00:09:25,290 --> 00:09:27,159
And when we say "move,"
165
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,528
- that means us.
- Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
166
00:09:29,561 --> 00:09:31,363
Uh, hey... hey.
No thinkin' for you, okay?
167
00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:32,764
What about what we saw
last night?
168
00:09:32,798 --> 00:09:34,800
Okay, I don't have time
for this, Carl.
169
00:09:34,833 --> 00:09:37,235
I got to go to work.
I'm going to be working a double tonight,
170
00:09:37,269 --> 00:09:38,670
so you're on your own
for dinner.
171
00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:41,573
What about what we seen
with the neighbors, bro?
172
00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:45,143
You better do what she say.
173
00:09:45,177 --> 00:09:46,278
Fuck you up.
174
00:09:46,311 --> 00:09:47,779
She payin' the bills
around here.
175
00:09:47,813 --> 00:09:50,716
Hey, babe. Don't pay
no attention to Cronut.
176
00:09:50,749 --> 00:09:52,417
He's just a dumbass.
177
00:09:52,451 --> 00:09:54,453
He's a neglected Chihuahua.
178
00:09:54,486 --> 00:09:56,188
Carl, I'm not happy here.
179
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,423
- Listen...
- This was supposed to be temporary, Carl.
180
00:09:58,457 --> 00:10:00,425
We were supposed
to be here until you got
181
00:10:00,459 --> 00:10:01,760
- your money going.
- Money.
182
00:10:01,793 --> 00:10:04,496
- You wrote your book.
- It's gonna work.
183
00:10:04,529 --> 00:10:06,832
That developer came
around again other day.
184
00:10:06,865 --> 00:10:10,235
He can make us a really good
offer on your mom's house.
185
00:10:10,268 --> 00:10:12,270
We can move
to a safer place.
186
00:10:12,304 --> 00:10:15,374
I can be happy.
Happy wife, happy what?
187
00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:17,542
- Happy wife.
- Happy life.
188
00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:19,678
The guy's a fuckin'
vulture. Okay?
189
00:10:19,711 --> 00:10:21,480
He wants to move
in this neighborhood
190
00:10:21,513 --> 00:10:24,249
so he can take it over and turn
it into a fuckin' strip mall.
191
00:10:24,282 --> 00:10:26,418
Do you understand
what I'm sayin'? Okay?
192
00:10:26,451 --> 00:10:28,220
It's called...
it's called gingivitis.
193
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,621
Gentrification!
194
00:10:29,655 --> 00:10:30,656
Shut up, Cronut!
195
00:10:30,689 --> 00:10:32,791
Stupid dumbass nigga.
196
00:10:32,824 --> 00:10:34,893
Once we move out of here, who cares
what they do to the neighborhood?
197
00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:37,896
Just promise me that today you're
going to look at this and consider it.
198
00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,698
I'm... I'm gonna
think about it.
199
00:10:39,731 --> 00:10:41,600
I appreciate it.
200
00:10:41,633 --> 00:10:45,203
Up next, I survived
a hammer to the head
201
00:10:45,237 --> 00:10:47,706
and a boot to the face.
202
00:10:47,739 --> 00:10:49,841
Somethin' fucked-up went
down in that house last night.
203
00:10:49,875 --> 00:10:51,243
You think that was
a dead body?
204
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:53,311
Would you stop?
It's already hard enough
205
00:10:53,345 --> 00:10:55,781
you got all this crazy
shit in my wife's head.
206
00:10:55,814 --> 00:10:58,917
And no!
I did not see a body.
207
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:01,653
I think my first instinct is
like, there's dead body in there.
208
00:11:01,687 --> 00:11:04,356
But... Oh, there's a nice
one over there.
209
00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:18,637
No.
210
00:11:22,708 --> 00:11:24,476
Hey, hey, hey! No!
211
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:26,344
Why you cock-blocking?
She need me.
212
00:11:26,378 --> 00:11:28,246
This could be
my old lady, man.
213
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,716
- She's already married.
- You know I've been in the penitentiary.
214
00:11:30,749 --> 00:11:32,384
- Let me just live, brother.
- Okay.
215
00:11:32,417 --> 00:11:34,786
You've been to prison
two years ago for 10 days
216
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:36,388
for drinkin' and drivin'.
217
00:11:36,421 --> 00:11:38,423
And you're
a "gangster drinker."
218
00:11:38,457 --> 00:11:40,559
I'm just gonna go over there and just...
just rap a tad to her.
219
00:11:40,592 --> 00:11:41,993
- I'm gonna go. What's up, baby?
- Cronut.
220
00:11:43,862 --> 00:11:46,932
He about to shoot that
midget sperm in that girl.
221
00:11:46,965 --> 00:11:48,834
Bunny! Shit.
222
00:11:48,867 --> 00:11:50,936
Baby, I told you,
you got to get a new wheelchair.
223
00:11:50,969 --> 00:11:52,571
- You got new wheelchair money?
- Ugh!
224
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:55,640
- I'm sorry, Bunny.
- It's okay.
225
00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,275
I didn't mean
to snap at you.
226
00:11:57,309 --> 00:11:58,777
If my penis worked,
I'd make love to you right now.
227
00:11:58,810 --> 00:12:00,612
- I'd hit it from the back.
- I know you would.
228
00:12:00,645 --> 00:12:02,848
Marky Mark style
from Boogie Nights.
229
00:12:02,881 --> 00:12:04,916
Hey! Stay off
my property!
230
00:12:04,950 --> 00:12:06,451
What's up, Clive?
231
00:12:06,485 --> 00:12:07,786
Shouldn't you be makin' up
some bullshit
232
00:12:07,819 --> 00:12:09,454
or whatever else you
do you call work?
233
00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:13,692
You know my husband don't like
you guys comin' over here.
234
00:12:13,725 --> 00:12:14,960
But I like seein' you guys.
235
00:12:14,993 --> 00:12:16,528
What you been up to?
236
00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:17,963
You been rollin' around
this neighborhood
237
00:12:17,996 --> 00:12:20,866
or you just being
kickin' it around?
238
00:12:20,899 --> 00:12:23,001
- Funny, motherfucker!
- Kickin' it!
239
00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:25,403
What are you doing,
writin' your next bestseller?
240
00:12:25,437 --> 00:12:27,873
Who're you trying to be?
New Alex Haley?
241
00:12:27,906 --> 00:12:31,743
Steve Harvey? You gonna try
to make a book into a movie?
242
00:12:31,777 --> 00:12:33,745
You see Think Like a Man?
Think Like a Man 2?
243
00:12:33,779 --> 00:12:34,679
Sucked!
244
00:12:35,614 --> 00:12:37,983
Pootie Tang blew those
two out the water.
245
00:12:38,016 --> 00:12:39,785
Okay, yeah,
I'm writin' a book.
246
00:12:39,818 --> 00:12:42,354
When is
your next marathon, huh?
247
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,723
You gonna help me
tend to my garden?
248
00:12:44,756 --> 00:12:46,792
I'll tend the shit out
of that garden.
249
00:12:46,825 --> 00:12:49,394
Tend more than the garden.
I will bend you over in there. I mean...
250
00:12:49,427 --> 00:12:50,629
So, I have carrots.
251
00:12:50,662 --> 00:12:52,697
I got a carrot.
With a fat head.
252
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:54,066
What's up with that house
right there?
253
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:56,368
What's up with them people
that live in there?
254
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:59,105
I know you can't see
with them thick-ass glasses.
255
00:12:59,138 --> 00:13:00,472
You know
what these eyes have seen?
256
00:13:00,505 --> 00:13:01,540
Yeah, these nuts.
257
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:02,974
I've been in three wars.
258
00:13:03,008 --> 00:13:04,876
- How you think I got Bunny?
- The government.
259
00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:06,912
That little check you get every
month, she's takin' it.
260
00:13:06,945 --> 00:13:09,014
- I saw into her soul.
- Damn.
261
00:13:09,048 --> 00:13:11,650
I see that little man right there with
the 8th-grade body talkin' to my wife.
262
00:13:11,683 --> 00:13:12,717
You don't think
I see that?
263
00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:13,852
I saw you catch gonorrhea,
baby...
264
00:13:13,885 --> 00:13:15,121
You better watch
your fuckin' mouth!
265
00:13:15,154 --> 00:13:16,788
- Watch your mouth, man!
- I wish you would.
266
00:13:16,822 --> 00:13:18,590
I wish you...
I've been waiting on this.
267
00:13:18,623 --> 00:13:20,392
Why would you kick me in the leg
268
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,828
- where I can't feel it?
- I know you can't... can't feel it.
269
00:13:22,861 --> 00:13:24,996
Come on. You ain't the first
Black guy I got in a fight with.
270
00:13:25,031 --> 00:13:27,133
I can't feel my legs, Carl.
Hit me in the face.
271
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,701
You little bitch.
272
00:13:29,734 --> 00:13:31,603
All day, every day.
273
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:34,539
Listen, man. Somethin' ain't
right at that house, Carl.
274
00:13:34,573 --> 00:13:35,907
They moved
in the middle of night.
275
00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:38,144
There's never any movement
during the day.
276
00:13:38,177 --> 00:13:40,146
- Yeah.
- Lazy shits won't answer the door,
277
00:13:40,179 --> 00:13:41,446
had a package dropped off.
278
00:13:41,479 --> 00:13:43,381
Mailman brought it
over to me,
279
00:13:43,415 --> 00:13:45,517
sittin' on the front
porch right now.
280
00:13:45,550 --> 00:13:48,587
Hey, Bunny! Come get
that package from Africa!
281
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:49,888
Hey, Bunny!
282
00:13:49,921 --> 00:13:51,690
Get that package
over there on the back porch.
283
00:13:51,723 --> 00:13:53,458
- I wouldn't. I wouldn't.
- You might get on...
284
00:13:53,491 --> 00:13:54,926
- You feel that, Carl?
- Okay. Let my arm go.
285
00:13:56,761 --> 00:13:58,030
- Let my arm go.
- Let my cousin... aw!
286
00:13:58,064 --> 00:13:59,131
- It fucking hurts.
- Hey.
287
00:13:59,165 --> 00:14:01,133
Let it go!
That shit hurt.
288
00:14:01,167 --> 00:14:03,535
Dang, you got some
upper body strength.
289
00:14:03,568 --> 00:14:05,604
There it is.
Look at that... Africa.
290
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:07,606
Africa.
Wrapped in velvet.
291
00:14:16,781 --> 00:14:18,683
I'm gonna take it
over there myself.
292
00:14:18,717 --> 00:14:21,120
Cronut...
Cronut!
293
00:14:21,153 --> 00:14:23,122
Why you give him
the fuckin' package?!
294
00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:26,658
It's like we're living across the
street from Diff'rent Strokes.
295
00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:28,960
- Hey, hey, hey. Give me the package, man.
- What the shit?
296
00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:30,395
Cronut!
297
00:14:31,630 --> 00:14:33,899
See? You happy?
298
00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:38,104
You got me runnin' around here,
fightin' motherfuckers and shit...
299
00:14:38,137 --> 00:14:41,773
- I can't do this, man.
- Fuck this, I gotta find out.
300
00:14:41,806 --> 00:14:44,910
- Hey, hey, hey...
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey my ass.
301
00:14:44,943 --> 00:14:46,045
Get it. Get it.
302
00:15:03,129 --> 00:15:06,065
What can I do to... I mean,
for you, gentlemen?
303
00:15:06,098 --> 00:15:07,699
Nigga, we saw you transporting
dead bodies last night.
304
00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:09,834
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, man.
Shut the fuck up.
305
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:11,170
We did.
306
00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:13,805
You not see me
transport any dead bodies.
307
00:15:13,838 --> 00:15:16,608
We standin' in front of a
chocolate vampire-type nigga.
308
00:15:16,641 --> 00:15:20,011
Sir, and this my little cousin,
Cronut, he's a little retarded.
309
00:15:20,046 --> 00:15:22,148
- Slow as fuck.
- He needs special attention.
310
00:15:22,181 --> 00:15:24,916
- He's on Ritalin, prednisone, and all kind of shit.
- Everything.
311
00:15:24,950 --> 00:15:27,519
This is Dr. Mamuwalde's
residence.
312
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,654
Mama... Mama who?
313
00:15:29,688 --> 00:15:30,889
Ma-mu-wal-day.
314
00:15:30,922 --> 00:15:32,924
- How you pronounce that?
- Ma-mu-wal-day.
315
00:15:32,958 --> 00:15:34,926
Mamuwal...
316
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,262
Ma-mu-wal-day.
317
00:15:36,295 --> 00:15:39,165
- Ma-mu-wal-day.
- Ma-mwa-wal-di.
318
00:15:39,198 --> 00:15:40,765
- Ma-mu-wal-day.
- Ma-mwa-wal-di.
319
00:15:40,799 --> 00:15:42,134
- Ma-mu-wal-day.
- Ma-mwa-wal-di.
320
00:15:42,168 --> 00:15:43,535
- Fix your mouth.
- All right, all right.
321
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,171
- Excuse me.
- Your mama, nigga.
322
00:15:45,204 --> 00:15:48,107
I am Monty. I just
rent a room here.
323
00:15:48,140 --> 00:15:51,509
And I assure you,
you have seen no bodies.
324
00:15:51,543 --> 00:15:53,179
Pleasure to make
your acquaintance.
325
00:15:53,212 --> 00:15:55,613
Nigga, we saw you transport them
goddamn dead bodies in the back.
326
00:15:55,647 --> 00:15:57,983
- If you don't shut the fuck...
- Where you from, bro?
327
00:15:58,016 --> 00:16:00,618
- Hey, man, stop! Sir...
- What?
328
00:16:00,652 --> 00:16:02,921
Mr. Black, do you have
business here?
329
00:16:02,954 --> 00:16:05,623
No. I don't have no business here.
We just wanted to come through and say hey
330
00:16:05,657 --> 00:16:07,226
and make sure
everything was cool.
331
00:16:07,259 --> 00:16:08,893
Why wouldn't it be cool?
332
00:16:10,162 --> 00:16:12,064
- Excuse me?
- Why wouldn't it be?
333
00:16:12,098 --> 00:16:16,068
Because y'all moving in this
motherfucking house at 12:00 at night.
334
00:16:16,102 --> 00:16:18,104
There's people
sleeping around here.
335
00:16:18,137 --> 00:16:21,973
You got crackheads back there
sunbathing into fucking midnight.
336
00:16:23,975 --> 00:16:25,777
Bye, bitch!
337
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:27,979
Hey, come on.
Get your ass...
338
00:16:28,847 --> 00:16:32,251
I'm gonna drop a dime
on you motherfuckers.
339
00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:35,653
You happy you done made me waste
a whole day on some bullshit?
340
00:16:35,687 --> 00:16:37,622
- Hey, man. Just fall back.
- Fall back for what?
341
00:16:37,655 --> 00:16:38,757
What you got to say now?
342
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,159
You don't think
that shit weird?
343
00:16:41,327 --> 00:16:42,927
How'd he know
your last name?
344
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:45,031
I'm a famous writer,
Cronut.
345
00:16:45,064 --> 00:16:46,564
This nigga delusional.
346
00:16:46,598 --> 00:16:49,235
My book is in-in-in
Barnes and Noble's.
347
00:16:49,268 --> 00:16:53,039
Nigga! Ain't nobody
reading your books! Retire!
348
00:16:53,072 --> 00:16:55,074
Look, you're running
around here smoking that weed,
349
00:16:55,107 --> 00:16:58,144
you're paranoid,
you're smoking 2K, K2,
350
00:16:58,177 --> 00:16:59,611
or whatever the fuck
you doing...
351
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,280
First of all,
I'm not smoking K2.
352
00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:03,049
I'm smoking strictly weed.
353
00:17:03,082 --> 00:17:05,016
And second of all,
something ain't right about that house,
354
00:17:05,051 --> 00:17:08,820
because boy was from Africa,
but he had a French accent.
355
00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:11,723
He got a sideburn that curl
up, like the devil.
356
00:17:11,756 --> 00:17:14,193
I'm thinking, man. You?
We got to get to the bottom of it.
357
00:17:14,226 --> 00:17:16,928
We not getting
to the bottom of shit.
358
00:17:16,961 --> 00:17:18,997
Well, you write your book.
I'll just be a detective.
359
00:17:19,031 --> 00:17:20,366
A detective for what?
360
00:17:20,399 --> 00:17:25,371
Africa, Carl. Africa.
Are you listening to me?
361
00:17:25,404 --> 00:17:27,106
Southwest don't go
to Africa.
362
00:17:27,139 --> 00:17:28,840
You won't help me do shit.
363
00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:30,875
I'm trying to marry
this man wife,
364
00:17:30,909 --> 00:17:32,677
I'm trying to tell you about
these devil worshippers over here
365
00:17:32,710 --> 00:17:34,313
and your book suck.
How about that?
366
00:17:37,982 --> 00:17:40,018
Shady Management.
367
00:17:40,052 --> 00:17:41,320
Leave a message.
368
00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:43,855
Hey, it's Carl Black.
Just calling you again,
369
00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:47,093
just lettin' you know
that I'm writing away.
370
00:17:47,126 --> 00:17:48,860
I need that advancement.
371
00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:52,064
The water bill's due,
we need bread, dishwash li...
372
00:17:56,035 --> 00:17:57,403
Do you know who I am?
373
00:17:57,436 --> 00:18:01,407
I am Wooky. The one
that survived the Purge.
374
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,242
I can help you survive
your problem.
375
00:18:03,275 --> 00:18:05,710
Are you being bullied?
Do you hear noises at night?
376
00:18:05,743 --> 00:18:07,011
Phone me.
377
00:18:07,046 --> 00:18:08,414
Are you sick?
Do you have a headache?
378
00:18:08,447 --> 00:18:11,683
Are you hearing things?
Malaria? Ebola?
379
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,119
Demon experience?
380
00:18:13,152 --> 00:18:15,387
Call me. Whisper to me.
381
00:18:15,421 --> 00:18:18,057
I will fight your battles
for you today.
382
00:18:19,458 --> 00:18:20,892
I am Wooky.
383
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:23,429
Ain't nobody go
for that bullshit.
384
00:18:27,032 --> 00:18:29,368
All right, yeah. Shit.
385
00:18:34,406 --> 00:18:36,242
Allie Black.
386
00:18:36,275 --> 00:18:39,044
Yes, Daddy? Yes?
387
00:18:39,078 --> 00:18:40,845
- What you doing?
- I'm studying.
388
00:18:40,879 --> 00:18:42,148
- You're studying.
- Yes.
389
00:18:42,181 --> 00:18:43,781
Yeah. I thought you
was home for fall?
390
00:18:43,815 --> 00:18:45,783
Doesn't mean I still
don't have to study, Dad.
391
00:18:45,817 --> 00:18:48,786
You know our family have been
going through a lot of stuff,
392
00:18:48,820 --> 00:18:51,457
and you don't like to follow
the rules all the time,
393
00:18:51,490 --> 00:18:53,825
'cause I've been asked you
a whole bunch of times
394
00:18:53,858 --> 00:18:55,793
to keep these little boys
out of my...
395
00:18:55,827 --> 00:18:57,762
- Daddy, I can explain...
- Ah! What the hell is wrong with you?
396
00:18:57,795 --> 00:18:59,031
I know a lot of gang shit.
You know...
397
00:18:59,064 --> 00:19:00,332
I thought he was dead!
398
00:19:00,366 --> 00:19:02,767
No, bitch.
Dying's for pussies.
399
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,237
I told you to keep these
little boys out of this house.
400
00:19:05,271 --> 00:19:07,373
I sent you to school
for a education...
401
00:19:07,406 --> 00:19:09,475
- I had to drop out, okay?
- You dropped out?
402
00:19:09,508 --> 00:19:11,876
We dropped out.
A couple goes...
403
00:19:11,910 --> 00:19:14,413
You and him about to be living off
that little cripple check every month.
404
00:19:14,446 --> 00:19:16,415
- Baby, give me my cane. I'm out.
- Okay.
405
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:18,250
Yeah, this
don't make no sense.
406
00:19:18,284 --> 00:19:19,951
I don't know what
you going through, Allie.
407
00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:22,188
Daddy, Daddy. Just...
just leave him alone, okay?
408
00:19:22,221 --> 00:19:23,888
If you're gonna do
somethin', do somethin'.
409
00:19:23,922 --> 00:19:25,124
It's already done.
410
00:19:25,157 --> 00:19:26,891
If you're gonna do
somethin', do somethin'.
411
00:19:26,925 --> 00:19:28,294
Freezee!
412
00:19:28,327 --> 00:19:29,761
Daddy,
why'd you do that?
413
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:30,895
I didn't even touch him.
414
00:19:30,929 --> 00:19:32,198
That's all right.
You got it, baby?
415
00:19:32,231 --> 00:19:33,465
Come on. Help his arm.
Get his arm right there.
416
00:19:33,499 --> 00:19:35,434
Hey, I don't need your help!
I'm in the ADA.
417
00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:36,968
Baby, you do need help.
418
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:38,404
- All right.
- You need some help, okay?
419
00:19:39,871 --> 00:19:40,939
Yeah. Lift him up.
One, two, three.
420
00:19:42,374 --> 00:19:44,310
Fuck you! Ain't nobody
need your assistance.
421
00:19:44,343 --> 00:19:46,111
Baby, go start
the car, okay?
422
00:19:46,145 --> 00:19:48,047
- All right.
- We'll be out of here in a second.
423
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:49,515
I'm gonna let you know one thing.
My dick may not work,
424
00:19:49,548 --> 00:19:52,451
but my tongue game's
strong on your girl.
425
00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:54,086
Okay. Baby, go.
426
00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:55,354
Ask him for some
gas money, baby.
427
00:19:55,387 --> 00:19:57,822
I will. I'll ask him
for some. Okay.
428
00:19:57,855 --> 00:19:59,325
Oh, thank God.
429
00:19:59,358 --> 00:20:01,293
But why don't you get
somebody that can walk?
430
00:20:01,327 --> 00:20:02,827
I ain't helping.
431
00:20:02,860 --> 00:20:04,796
Daddy, listen.
Okay, I had to drop out
432
00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:06,864
because your check bounced.
433
00:20:06,898 --> 00:20:08,933
And you would know that if you
cared about anybody in this family
434
00:20:08,967 --> 00:20:10,969
except yourself
and that damn book.
435
00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:13,439
He loves me.
436
00:20:15,873 --> 00:20:17,842
He only cares about himself.
He's so selfish.
437
00:20:17,875 --> 00:20:19,411
Allie!
438
00:20:23,215 --> 00:20:24,483
Allie!
439
00:20:24,516 --> 00:20:26,051
Allie!
440
00:20:30,522 --> 00:20:33,392
Ekekek. Ekekek.
441
00:20:33,425 --> 00:20:35,127
Psst! Ekekek.
442
00:20:36,995 --> 00:20:39,198
Carl, come here.
443
00:20:39,231 --> 00:20:40,399
You gotta see this shit.
444
00:20:40,432 --> 00:20:42,034
Get over where?
How do I get over there?
445
00:20:42,067 --> 00:20:43,269
Hop over, man.
446
00:20:45,404 --> 00:20:48,040
No, no, for real.
For real. Come here.
447
00:20:48,073 --> 00:20:50,276
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Calm down. Calm down.
448
00:20:50,309 --> 00:20:52,444
Check that. Shit!
449
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,350
Is that Michael Jackson?
450
00:20:58,384 --> 00:21:00,252
Where's the box from Africa?
451
00:21:00,286 --> 00:21:01,819
- That's so weird.
- Hey! Hey, man!
452
00:21:01,853 --> 00:21:03,355
Hey, man,
don't do that!
453
00:21:03,389 --> 00:21:05,391
Why are you always
creeping up on people, man?
454
00:21:05,424 --> 00:21:08,027
- Don't do that.
- That's what I do. I creep.
455
00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:10,462
- Look, look.
- Find it.
456
00:21:11,697 --> 00:21:14,500
They just moved into the house
and people are already coming over.
457
00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:20,139
Goddamn. She got
a big 'ol ass.
458
00:21:22,107 --> 00:21:24,842
Hello. I'm here
for Dr. Mamuwalde.
459
00:21:33,619 --> 00:21:35,254
Something ain't right.
460
00:21:35,287 --> 00:21:36,488
I'mma tell you
something.
461
00:21:36,522 --> 00:21:39,558
Leave them goddamn
neighbors alone.
462
00:21:39,591 --> 00:21:43,095
- Leave them alone! I'm out of here.
- Look.
463
00:21:43,128 --> 00:21:44,296
I think you
made him mad.
464
00:21:44,330 --> 00:21:46,365
He's always mad at me.
Don't even trip.
465
00:21:46,398 --> 00:21:48,467
She ain't coming back out of there.
I told you, once you go in there,
466
00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:50,569
you ain't coming out,
especially if you're fine.
467
00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:53,339
All the ugly bitches came right
out, but this coochie?
468
00:21:53,372 --> 00:21:55,607
I'm going in.
469
00:21:55,641 --> 00:21:57,309
I'm neighborhood watch.
470
00:22:01,613 --> 00:22:03,282
Yeah. You go
right on in there.
471
00:22:03,315 --> 00:22:05,484
I trust you.
472
00:22:05,517 --> 00:22:07,186
Snitch, Snitch, come in.
473
00:22:10,988 --> 00:22:12,358
What can I do for you?
474
00:22:12,391 --> 00:22:14,660
I'm neighborhood watch.
I need to get in this house.
475
00:22:14,693 --> 00:22:18,230
Well then, please, come in,
Mr. Neighborhood Watch.
476
00:22:18,263 --> 00:22:19,997
You're very welcome here.
477
00:22:26,638 --> 00:22:29,174
Cronut, what the fuck
are you doing?
478
00:22:29,208 --> 00:22:30,175
Shhh!
479
00:22:33,178 --> 00:22:35,514
Why are you looking
in their window?
480
00:22:35,547 --> 00:22:37,049
Get out of them
people's house.
481
00:22:38,950 --> 00:22:40,486
What you see?
482
00:22:40,519 --> 00:22:42,154
Well, first of all,
this house looks amazing on the inside,
483
00:22:42,187 --> 00:22:45,290
but they're doing
some freaky shit for real.
484
00:22:45,324 --> 00:22:49,161
What? What's he doing?
485
00:22:52,331 --> 00:22:55,933
Cronut! What's going on?
486
00:22:55,967 --> 00:22:58,437
- Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
- What? What? What?
487
00:22:58,470 --> 00:23:01,073
- Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
- What? What?
488
00:23:01,106 --> 00:23:02,541
Go, go.
489
00:23:04,976 --> 00:23:08,280
- Oh, shit.
- Why we running, man?
490
00:23:08,313 --> 00:23:11,183
- Hey, ¿qué pasó?
- OG. Hugo.
491
00:23:11,216 --> 00:23:13,085
There's vampires, man.
There's vampires.
492
00:23:13,118 --> 00:23:14,386
Re... relax. Ain't no...
493
00:23:14,420 --> 00:23:17,356
The vampire feeds on blood.
494
00:23:17,389 --> 00:23:21,193
But what he really wants
495
00:23:21,226 --> 00:23:23,695
is to find the things
that you love most
496
00:23:23,729 --> 00:23:25,930
and twist you...
497
00:23:27,266 --> 00:23:30,935
and torment you
every day of your life.
498
00:23:33,105 --> 00:23:35,107
You're a dark motherfucker.
499
00:23:35,140 --> 00:23:37,676
You've been saying some crazy
shit back here in this backyard.
500
00:23:37,709 --> 00:23:39,478
So what should we do, OG?
501
00:23:39,511 --> 00:23:41,447
Find out what he wants.
502
00:23:43,382 --> 00:23:46,685
Find out what he's doing
in our neighborhood.
503
00:23:46,718 --> 00:23:48,253
Think about it.
504
00:23:48,287 --> 00:23:50,122
We ain't never seen
Dr. Mamuwalde in the daytime.
505
00:23:50,155 --> 00:23:51,657
- You know why?
- Why?
506
00:23:51,690 --> 00:23:53,592
"And they rise from
the grave at night
507
00:23:53,625 --> 00:23:55,727
- to feast on the living."
- Oh, no.
508
00:23:55,761 --> 00:23:58,430
Shut the fuck up
for a second.
509
00:23:58,464 --> 00:24:00,299
Just for one second,
shut the fuck up.
510
00:24:00,332 --> 00:24:03,135
You know what? All that
coming to... to life
511
00:24:03,168 --> 00:24:06,505
and the dead rising up
and the Tales of the Crypt
512
00:24:06,538 --> 00:24:08,740
and the Michael Jackson,
the monsters,
513
00:24:08,774 --> 00:24:11,210
all that is a bunch of bullshit!
514
00:24:11,243 --> 00:24:13,178
Did you see the little
guy in the window?
515
00:24:13,212 --> 00:24:14,613
'Cause you probably
think it's Prince
516
00:24:14,646 --> 00:24:16,582
or I don't know who
the fuck you think it is.
517
00:24:16,615 --> 00:24:18,317
It's a little pimp in there.
518
00:24:19,251 --> 00:24:22,688
Bitches is getting slapped
over in that house.
519
00:24:22,721 --> 00:24:24,723
Man, I know what I saw, man.
That was a goddamn vampire.
520
00:24:24,756 --> 00:24:26,325
Definitely.
I know what I saw.
521
00:24:26,358 --> 00:24:28,627
A pimp live next door
to us, okay?
522
00:24:28,660 --> 00:24:30,429
P-I-M-P.
523
00:24:30,462 --> 00:24:32,664
Put it in my pocket.
524
00:24:32,698 --> 00:24:36,401
The reason why he sleep all day?
Because pimping is at night!
525
00:24:36,435 --> 00:24:38,403
I'm gone. I'm getting
the fuck out of here.
526
00:24:38,437 --> 00:24:40,038
I'm finna go write my book.
527
00:24:40,072 --> 00:24:41,673
You done lost
your motherfucking mind.
528
00:24:41,707 --> 00:24:43,542
You need to go sign
up for the circus.
529
00:24:43,575 --> 00:24:46,545
- Oh, man.
- Don't invite him in.
530
00:24:46,578 --> 00:24:48,146
What?
531
00:24:48,180 --> 00:24:50,148
Only way to keep a vampire
out of your house.
532
00:24:50,182 --> 00:24:52,217
Don't invite him in.
533
00:24:53,352 --> 00:24:54,820
I'm gone, man. I ain't...
534
00:24:54,853 --> 00:24:57,155
Yeah, you go, man.
We're gonna get to the bottom of it.
535
00:24:57,189 --> 00:24:59,224
I'm gonna do some research.
We'll figure it out, bro!
536
00:24:59,258 --> 00:25:01,059
- Just trust me!
- Shut the fuck up.
537
00:25:02,094 --> 00:25:03,762
Well, what about...
what about if you live in the RV?
538
00:25:03,795 --> 00:25:06,431
- Is there any rules there?
- Don't invite him in.
539
00:25:22,381 --> 00:25:24,683
I ain't got no more bananas,
'cause this shit is...
540
00:25:24,716 --> 00:25:27,419
They got... bats.
541
00:25:27,452 --> 00:25:29,087
Vampire coming at me.
542
00:25:29,121 --> 00:25:30,455
God, I didn't sign up
for this shit.
543
00:25:32,157 --> 00:25:36,128
Fucking nude.
544
00:25:37,829 --> 00:25:39,398
Dispatch
to Snitch. Over.
545
00:25:39,431 --> 00:25:42,467
Do you know what
happens to snitches?
546
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:50,576
Shit!
547
00:25:50,609 --> 00:25:54,146
These bitches bit
Snitch's neck!
548
00:25:54,179 --> 00:25:57,115
Mama! Oh, shit!
That was shit. They got me.
549
00:25:58,450 --> 00:26:00,452
Oh, damn. Oh, damn.
550
00:26:11,496 --> 00:26:14,132
You know me as the one
that survived the Purge.
551
00:26:14,166 --> 00:26:16,868
Therefore, I could survive anything.
552
00:26:16,902 --> 00:26:18,403
What is going on
in your life?
553
00:26:18,437 --> 00:26:20,539
- Late night?
- Oh. Hey.
554
00:26:20,572 --> 00:26:22,374
Yeah. It was
the worst last night.
555
00:26:22,407 --> 00:26:23,742
I can explain, though.
556
00:26:23,775 --> 00:26:26,678
Can you tell me
what happened with Allie?
557
00:26:26,712 --> 00:26:29,615
- She called you?
- She's mad because you don't trust her.
558
00:26:29,648 --> 00:26:30,816
No. She had
her little boy in my house.
559
00:26:30,849 --> 00:26:32,651
She ain't paying no
rent up in here.
560
00:26:32,684 --> 00:26:34,620
You need to be the bigger man
and call her and apologize,
561
00:26:34,653 --> 00:26:36,888
because I'm not dealing
with all of this mess.
562
00:26:36,922 --> 00:26:40,225
And speaking of which, did you call the
real estate agent like I asked you to?
563
00:26:40,258 --> 00:26:41,560
Oh, man.
564
00:26:41,593 --> 00:26:44,363
I'm mentally exhausted
from all of this.
565
00:26:44,396 --> 00:26:46,598
I'm having a hard
time writing, okay?
566
00:26:46,632 --> 00:26:48,634
Lorena.
567
00:26:50,769 --> 00:26:52,771
Come, Lorena.
568
00:26:52,804 --> 00:26:56,174
Oh, my God.
569
00:26:56,208 --> 00:26:58,844
- Oh, my God.
- What's going on with you?
570
00:26:58,877 --> 00:27:00,412
Oh, my God.
571
00:27:00,445 --> 00:27:01,747
- Do you feel it...
- Oh, my God.
572
00:27:01,780 --> 00:27:03,248
- ...all over your body?
- Oh, shit.
573
00:27:03,281 --> 00:27:04,282
How is this happening?
574
00:27:04,316 --> 00:27:05,684
Oh, my God.
575
00:27:05,717 --> 00:27:07,619
Am I missing out
on something?
576
00:27:07,653 --> 00:27:10,288
Oh, yes.
Don't stop.
577
00:27:10,322 --> 00:27:13,392
Oh, my. Carl.
578
00:27:13,425 --> 00:27:14,726
Carl,
did you hear that?
579
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:16,528
Hey, you didn't... you
didn't came in here.
580
00:27:16,561 --> 00:27:19,197
Shhh!
581
00:27:19,231 --> 00:27:22,567
Okay, then.
That's what I needed.
582
00:27:22,601 --> 00:27:25,871
Local authorities are
hesitant to label this a serial killer...
583
00:27:25,904 --> 00:27:28,440
- Oh, my God. - ...but sources
close to the investigation
584
00:27:28,473 --> 00:27:30,275
were heard saying
585
00:27:30,308 --> 00:27:33,745
"This is some fucked up shit
right here, my nigga."
586
00:27:33,779 --> 00:27:35,747
Who's doing all these terrible
things to these women?
587
00:27:35,781 --> 00:27:37,649
- ...they went on to say the dead...
- Oh, my God.
588
00:27:37,683 --> 00:27:39,584
I'm telling you,
we need to get out of here.
589
00:27:39,618 --> 00:27:41,486
Can you please, please
call that real estate man?
590
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,221
- The paper's right there.
- I'm gonna call.
591
00:27:43,255 --> 00:27:44,489
- I'm gonna call him.
- Okay.
592
00:27:44,523 --> 00:27:45,991
- ...signing off saying...
- Now.
593
00:27:46,024 --> 00:27:48,827
- Call him, please.
- ...hoes got to eat too.
594
00:27:56,835 --> 00:27:58,503
Allie!
595
00:27:59,504 --> 00:28:01,940
This is my 17th message.
596
00:28:01,973 --> 00:28:04,843
Please call me back, okay?
I'm looking for you.
597
00:28:04,876 --> 00:28:07,579
I'm worried about you.
Call me back.
598
00:28:09,548 --> 00:28:10,949
Hey.
599
00:28:13,518 --> 00:28:14,986
Listen, I'm not letting
you in my house
600
00:28:15,020 --> 00:28:16,855
so you can tell them
same ghost stories...
601
00:28:16,888 --> 00:28:18,457
No, you need to see
this for real.
602
00:28:18,490 --> 00:28:19,958
Snitch,
do you read me?
603
00:28:19,991 --> 00:28:21,460
Look like
a busted bike to me.
604
00:28:21,493 --> 00:28:23,929
No, look.
This Rico bike.
605
00:28:23,962 --> 00:28:26,631
- They done kidnapped Rico, bro.
- Dispatch to Snitch, over.
606
00:28:26,665 --> 00:28:28,567
He don't go nowhere
without this bike.
607
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:30,969
His license suspended.
He got no choice but to ride this bike.
608
00:28:31,002 --> 00:28:33,972
Look, Rico is a grown man
who done looked in the mirror
609
00:28:34,005 --> 00:28:35,841
and realized
he ain't got no business
610
00:28:35,874 --> 00:28:38,810
being 50 years old
on a tricycle.
611
00:28:38,844 --> 00:28:40,445
Or the vampires
could have got him.
612
00:28:42,013 --> 00:28:43,582
Dispatch to Snitch, over.
613
00:28:45,051 --> 00:28:47,018
Rico saw
something last night.
614
00:28:47,053 --> 00:28:48,954
I think I bet the vampires
snatched his ass up.
615
00:28:48,987 --> 00:28:50,989
Snitch, what is your 411?
616
00:28:51,022 --> 00:28:52,924
That's Freezee's car.
617
00:28:52,958 --> 00:28:55,360
In there pimping
my daughter!
618
00:29:02,734 --> 00:29:04,603
The sun's setting.
619
00:29:06,905 --> 00:29:09,541
The vampire's
about to wake up.
620
00:29:09,574 --> 00:29:11,276
Don't invite him in.
621
00:29:14,513 --> 00:29:16,048
Imbecile!
622
00:29:16,082 --> 00:29:17,949
Damn it, man!
You scared the hell out of me!
623
00:29:17,983 --> 00:29:20,619
Who the hell you
callin' an imbecile?
624
00:29:20,652 --> 00:29:23,789
Now listen, you take your hands off of me!
I don't know you!
625
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:29,594
Whoop.
626
00:29:29,628 --> 00:29:31,463
- Stop playing!
- Got you.
627
00:29:31,496 --> 00:29:32,597
You little bitch.
628
00:29:37,170 --> 00:29:39,738
No, but for real, though, this is crazy.
What is we doing?
629
00:29:41,873 --> 00:29:43,608
I know Allie's
in this house.
630
00:29:43,642 --> 00:29:45,510
Allie!
631
00:29:45,544 --> 00:29:47,813
These maniacs done kidnapped Rico
and you just banging on the door?
632
00:29:47,846 --> 00:29:49,447
I've been calling
Allie all day
633
00:29:49,481 --> 00:29:50,849
and she ain't answer
the phone. Relax.
634
00:29:50,882 --> 00:29:52,617
Allie!
635
00:29:52,651 --> 00:29:55,520
- What the fuck?
- Can I help you, gentlemen?
636
00:29:55,554 --> 00:29:57,856
My daughter's
in there, man.
637
00:29:57,889 --> 00:30:00,492
Come on, man. Give me my daughter
back, man. This is crazy.
638
00:30:00,525 --> 00:30:02,761
You got the fuckin'
Halloween shit going on?
639
00:30:02,794 --> 00:30:04,596
That's my daughter!
640
00:30:04,629 --> 00:30:07,133
I'm sure I don't know
what you mean, neighbor.
641
00:30:07,166 --> 00:30:09,068
The car is in the back.
642
00:30:09,101 --> 00:30:11,070
I've been looking
for my daughter all day.
643
00:30:11,103 --> 00:30:12,604
Your pimping gonna stop.
644
00:30:12,637 --> 00:30:14,106
God don't like ugly, man.
645
00:30:14,140 --> 00:30:17,676
Mr. Black, your daughter
is not in this house.
646
00:30:17,709 --> 00:30:18,743
Ah!
647
00:30:21,113 --> 00:30:23,782
Can I come in the house?
648
00:30:23,815 --> 00:30:25,884
The doctor will not
be here until later.
649
00:30:25,917 --> 00:30:28,954
I wonder why? You got all them dead
bodies in there you don't want us to see?
650
00:30:28,987 --> 00:30:32,124
But, if you'd like
to come in, Mr. Black,
651
00:30:32,158 --> 00:30:37,462
you will find out in fact that
your daughter is not in this house.
652
00:30:37,495 --> 00:30:39,397
- We can come in and search the whole...
- Mr. Black, please.
653
00:30:39,431 --> 00:30:40,799
You want... that's what you
want us to do?
654
00:30:40,832 --> 00:30:42,367
Please.
655
00:30:44,736 --> 00:30:45,871
Be my guest.
656
00:30:45,904 --> 00:30:47,906
You want some real niggas...
657
00:30:47,939 --> 00:30:49,175
Enjoy yourselves, please.
658
00:30:49,208 --> 00:30:50,775
- ...come in your house?
- Go.
659
00:30:53,145 --> 00:30:55,181
Hey, stop.
660
00:30:58,217 --> 00:30:59,451
Allie!
661
00:30:59,484 --> 00:31:01,053
Allie!
662
00:31:02,754 --> 00:31:04,789
What?
663
00:31:04,823 --> 00:31:06,958
- Carl, look at this shit.
- What?
664
00:31:13,232 --> 00:31:15,867
That shit
look crazy, man.
665
00:31:15,901 --> 00:31:17,836
What the fuck is that
dog thing right there?
666
00:31:17,869 --> 00:31:19,038
- Mr. Black!
- Hey! Shit!
667
00:31:19,071 --> 00:31:20,839
Damn, bro!
What the fuck is going on?
668
00:31:20,872 --> 00:31:22,041
- What's wrong with you, bro?
- Don't touch these dolls.
669
00:31:22,074 --> 00:31:23,875
What is wrong with you?
670
00:31:23,909 --> 00:31:28,480
These are very, very expensive
West African voodoo totems.
671
00:31:28,513 --> 00:31:30,548
- The doctor is a collector.
- Allie!
672
00:31:33,052 --> 00:31:34,086
Allie!
673
00:31:38,556 --> 00:31:40,059
Allie! Whoa!
674
00:31:40,959 --> 00:31:43,029
- Is my daddy in here?
- Please come in, Allie.
675
00:31:43,062 --> 00:31:44,063
Carl.
676
00:31:45,830 --> 00:31:46,932
- What?
- Guess who come in.
677
00:31:46,965 --> 00:31:48,700
Dad! What are you
doing here?
678
00:31:48,733 --> 00:31:51,002
Allie, what are you doing?
Where your ass been at?
679
00:31:51,037 --> 00:31:52,238
What the hell's going on?
680
00:31:52,271 --> 00:31:53,972
Why are you
in these nice people's house?
681
00:31:54,005 --> 00:31:56,175
These people ain't nice.
This is a pimp's house.
682
00:31:56,208 --> 00:31:58,110
- This is a nice house.
- Oh, my God.
683
00:31:58,144 --> 00:32:00,046
Man, this is crazy!
Look, he's been putting
684
00:32:00,079 --> 00:32:02,681
all kind of crazy stories
in my head about you.
685
00:32:02,714 --> 00:32:04,516
The car's in the back...
686
00:32:04,549 --> 00:32:07,153
See, I knew you were going to
be tripping when you found out.
687
00:32:07,186 --> 00:32:09,554
God. Found out what?
688
00:32:10,356 --> 00:32:12,857
I just gotta tell you.
I'm just going to say it.
689
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:16,895
- I'm movin' out.
- Movin' out where?
690
00:32:16,928 --> 00:32:18,964
Me and Freezee
are going to get married
691
00:32:18,997 --> 00:32:20,632
and we're going
to make a life together.
692
00:32:20,665 --> 00:32:23,035
I will take my belt off
and tear your ass up.
693
00:32:23,069 --> 00:32:25,904
Daddy, I can make my own choices.
It's called feminism.
694
00:32:25,937 --> 00:32:29,208
Oh,
I know all about liberating some women.
695
00:32:29,241 --> 00:32:31,077
- You hear that?
- Yeah.
696
00:32:39,718 --> 00:32:44,622
Let me introduce
Dr. Mamuwalde!
697
00:32:47,226 --> 00:32:49,661
Dr. Mamuwalde.
698
00:32:50,628 --> 00:32:52,831
Dr. Mamuwalde.
699
00:32:52,864 --> 00:32:55,101
Dr. Mamuwalde.
700
00:32:56,135 --> 00:32:58,170
Dr. Mamuwalde.
701
00:32:59,171 --> 00:33:01,673
Dr. Mamuwalde.
702
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:04,576
So beautiful.
703
00:33:04,609 --> 00:33:06,745
Dr. Mamuwalde.
704
00:33:08,247 --> 00:33:11,016
Dr. Mamuwalde.
705
00:33:11,783 --> 00:33:14,753
Dr. Mamuwalde.
706
00:33:14,786 --> 00:33:17,323
Is that a Black
bite-sized Hugh Hefner?
707
00:33:17,356 --> 00:33:19,991
Dr. Mamuwalde.
708
00:33:20,025 --> 00:33:22,594
Dr. Mamuwalde.
709
00:33:23,795 --> 00:33:26,098
Dr. Mamuwalde.
710
00:33:26,132 --> 00:33:27,732
All right, man.
711
00:33:27,766 --> 00:33:30,735
Monty, I told you,
three times.
712
00:33:30,769 --> 00:33:32,271
Yeah, nigga, damn.
713
00:33:32,304 --> 00:33:34,073
Every day is a struggle,
714
00:33:34,106 --> 00:33:37,276
but every night
is a feast, you feel me?
715
00:33:37,309 --> 00:33:40,779
Carl Black!
Show me some love.
716
00:33:40,812 --> 00:33:42,114
I can give you some
from right here.
717
00:33:42,148 --> 00:33:43,848
I can't come over
and give up no...
718
00:33:43,882 --> 00:33:46,218
- no love shit, dog.
- Mm-mm.
719
00:33:46,252 --> 00:33:50,256
Welcome to my humble abode,
Carl Black.
720
00:33:50,289 --> 00:33:52,291
How the fuck
do you know my name?
721
00:33:52,324 --> 00:33:55,593
That's what's crazy.
You been on my IG page?
722
00:33:55,627 --> 00:33:57,929
Oh, I've had
my third eye on you.
723
00:33:57,962 --> 00:33:59,631
I mean, if it was about
that shit the other night,
724
00:33:59,664 --> 00:34:00,865
all right, look,
I ain't got...
725
00:34:00,899 --> 00:34:03,335
The doctor is
a fan of your book...
726
00:34:03,369 --> 00:34:04,370
- Ooh.
- Mr. Black.
727
00:34:04,403 --> 00:34:06,338
Shit. Mm.
728
00:34:06,372 --> 00:34:09,007
And doodoo is
a fan of your mouth.
729
00:34:09,041 --> 00:34:11,009
- Dad.
- You know my book?
730
00:34:11,043 --> 00:34:12,378
- Wow.
- Mm.
731
00:34:12,411 --> 00:34:14,012
I told you, you got
to get back in there.
732
00:34:14,046 --> 00:34:16,115
You know he's in, uh,
a tough spot right now.
733
00:34:16,148 --> 00:34:17,615
- He's in a artistic bind.
- Yeah. I'm trying to write a new book.
734
00:34:17,649 --> 00:34:19,318
Yeah. You see,
the first one was good.
735
00:34:19,351 --> 00:34:21,153
- Yeah. The second one.
- Now, I'm trying to do...
736
00:34:21,187 --> 00:34:23,189
- I'm trying to do the second one.
- Gotta be off the chain.
737
00:34:23,222 --> 00:34:24,856
It's a fine piece
of literature.
738
00:34:24,889 --> 00:34:26,858
The shit was
a modern-day classic.
739
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,296
Dr. Mamuwalde.
740
00:34:30,329 --> 00:34:33,932
What type of medicine
you practice, bro?
741
00:34:33,965 --> 00:34:36,168
I practice
the type of medicine
742
00:34:36,202 --> 00:34:38,736
for those
with a particular affliction.
743
00:34:38,770 --> 00:34:41,673
Take two of these and call me in the morning.
744
00:34:42,907 --> 00:34:45,111
Oh, this.
745
00:34:45,144 --> 00:34:46,245
Bless his name.
746
00:34:46,278 --> 00:34:48,147
I knew you was a pimp.
747
00:34:48,180 --> 00:34:50,715
- Ha. Such harsh language, Mr. Black.
- Yeah.
748
00:34:50,748 --> 00:34:52,984
I am a purveyor
and provocateur
749
00:34:53,017 --> 00:34:56,888
of fine ass bitches
and high-priced pleasure.
750
00:34:56,921 --> 00:34:59,291
I know what I'm looking at
when I see it.
751
00:34:59,325 --> 00:35:01,093
Hold on. Wait a minute,
little George Jefferson.
752
00:35:01,127 --> 00:35:03,728
We ain't doing no provocative
nothin' around here.
753
00:35:03,761 --> 00:35:05,131
This is my daughter.
754
00:35:05,164 --> 00:35:07,166
Ain't nothin' going up
in there but a tampon.
755
00:35:07,199 --> 00:35:08,766
- Daddy!
- Mr. Black, I assure you,
756
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,903
I may be a pimp,
but I am no monster.
757
00:35:11,936 --> 00:35:14,406
Matter of fact, to prove my point,
758
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:19,777
allow me. A mind is
a terrible thing to waste.
759
00:35:19,811 --> 00:35:22,013
This is for your education.
760
00:35:22,047 --> 00:35:23,048
Really?
761
00:35:27,486 --> 00:35:29,321
- No.
- Ooh. Daddy!
762
00:35:29,355 --> 00:35:32,124
No! We ain't raisin'
no THOTs around here!
763
00:35:32,158 --> 00:35:33,992
- We ain't doing no THOTin'!
- But we need the money!
764
00:35:34,025 --> 00:35:36,395
You... but we ain't getting
the money that kind of way.
765
00:35:36,428 --> 00:35:39,231
We sellin' books
around here, not pussy!
766
00:35:39,265 --> 00:35:41,966
The Black man has yet again
said no to education.
767
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,336
- Fuck you! Come on. Get your ass out of here.
- Daddy!
768
00:35:44,370 --> 00:35:46,804
- Why are you always yelling at people?
- Fuck you, Mr. Mamuwalde.
769
00:35:46,838 --> 00:35:48,740
Thank you, nice man!
770
00:35:48,773 --> 00:35:51,443
Well, let me just say I'm
having a soirée tomorrow night
771
00:35:51,477 --> 00:35:53,745
and I would be honored
if you would join me.
772
00:35:53,778 --> 00:35:55,648
I'm expensive!
773
00:36:00,052 --> 00:36:03,155
Tomorrow night is the soirée.
774
00:36:03,189 --> 00:36:04,223
Oh, oh.
775
00:36:05,857 --> 00:36:09,128
- Save them for me.
- We expect to be seeing you.
776
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:24,076
You always do this,
Daddy.
777
00:36:24,109 --> 00:36:25,977
Why wouldn't you let
that pretty man help me?
778
00:36:26,010 --> 00:36:28,080
Dolomite was trying
to get in your panties.
779
00:36:28,113 --> 00:36:29,981
- We don't need his money.
- No.
780
00:36:30,014 --> 00:36:32,518
We don't need the money.
I need the money, Dad.
781
00:36:32,551 --> 00:36:35,187
I just want to get my education,
so I don't end up like you.
782
00:36:35,221 --> 00:36:36,422
- Like me?
- Yes, Daddy.
783
00:36:36,455 --> 00:36:37,889
Just write the book
or get a job.
784
00:36:37,922 --> 00:36:39,191
Get a job,
broke nigga!
785
00:36:39,225 --> 00:36:40,992
I got some money
on your hair, Freezee.
786
00:36:41,025 --> 00:36:42,860
I'm about to unthaw yo ass.
787
00:36:42,894 --> 00:36:44,463
- I'm leaving.
- Allie.
788
00:36:44,496 --> 00:36:46,232
And me and Freezee are gonna
live happily ever after together.
789
00:36:46,265 --> 00:36:47,865
- Allie Black.
- That is what we're doing.
790
00:36:47,899 --> 00:36:49,268
- Freezee! Let's go!
- Allie Black.
791
00:36:49,301 --> 00:36:50,768
Allie! Allie!
792
00:36:50,802 --> 00:36:52,037
I think she just called
you a dumbass.
793
00:36:52,071 --> 00:36:53,172
Stop yelling
in the neighborhood!
794
00:36:53,205 --> 00:36:55,006
- Allie.
- We're going.
795
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:57,042
- Baby, tuck my legs in.
- I got you.
796
00:36:58,143 --> 00:36:59,911
- Baby.
- Look at that.
797
00:36:59,944 --> 00:37:01,447
Always falling like this.
798
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:03,249
Carl!
799
00:37:03,282 --> 00:37:05,551
Why is she leaving like that, baby?
We just talked about this.
800
00:37:05,584 --> 00:37:07,519
- Baby, I...
- Well-well, the neighbor next door
801
00:37:07,553 --> 00:37:09,821
tried to give some goddamn
vampire pimp money
802
00:37:09,854 --> 00:37:12,224
to Allie for school
and goddamn hatin' ass Carl,
803
00:37:12,258 --> 00:37:15,094
he gon' take the money and throw
it back in the goddamn vampire face
804
00:37:15,127 --> 00:37:16,495
and goddamn Allie,
goddamn...
805
00:37:16,528 --> 00:37:19,864
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
calm down, little infant!
806
00:37:19,897 --> 00:37:21,933
Vampire?
Vampire pimp?
807
00:37:21,966 --> 00:37:24,203
That's what you guys are out
here talking about right now?
808
00:37:24,236 --> 00:37:26,804
- No. It ain't even like that.
- We just had this conversation.
809
00:37:26,838 --> 00:37:29,508
- Hey.
- I'm tired of all this craziness.
810
00:37:29,541 --> 00:37:31,510
Did you call the real estate
agent like I asked you to?
811
00:37:31,543 --> 00:37:34,513
Called the real estate agent.
I... I left a message for him.
812
00:37:34,546 --> 00:37:37,383
Look, Carl, I'll call him,
just like I do
813
00:37:37,416 --> 00:37:39,518
- everything else around here, okay?
- Oh-oh.
814
00:37:39,551 --> 00:37:42,254
But you know what, we need to talk
tonight when I get home from work.
815
00:37:42,288 --> 00:37:44,123
Oh-oh.
816
00:37:44,156 --> 00:37:46,125
- Babe, don't do that.
- I gotta go to work.
817
00:37:46,158 --> 00:37:47,859
- She's gonna cheat on you.
- Shut up, Cronut.
818
00:37:47,892 --> 00:37:48,993
It's me, baby.
819
00:37:49,028 --> 00:37:50,362
- Yeah.
- Babe.
820
00:37:51,563 --> 00:37:54,033
Yeah, she gonna cheat on you.
821
00:37:55,434 --> 00:37:57,069
I'm gonna cheat on you.
822
00:37:57,102 --> 00:37:59,371
Carl. Carl.
823
00:38:00,905 --> 00:38:02,141
Carl!
824
00:38:02,174 --> 00:38:04,008
- Carl!
- What?
825
00:38:04,043 --> 00:38:05,943
Gotta listen to me.
You gotta hear me out for real.
826
00:38:05,977 --> 00:38:07,945
I know you're going
through a lot.
827
00:38:07,979 --> 00:38:10,182
I know your old lady trippin',
I know your daughter trippin',
828
00:38:10,215 --> 00:38:11,483
I know you have
a writer's block,
829
00:38:11,517 --> 00:38:13,419
but please, bro,
just listen to me.
830
00:38:13,452 --> 00:38:16,488
Go home. All right?
It's over.
831
00:38:16,522 --> 00:38:18,257
I'm movin' the fuck
out of this house.
832
00:38:18,290 --> 00:38:20,326
This our house!
We can't let him move us out.
833
00:38:20,359 --> 00:38:22,494
- I don't wannna hear that shit.
- I gotta tell you this for real.
834
00:38:22,528 --> 00:38:25,431
Guess what I found while you
was talking to the pimp vampire?
835
00:38:25,464 --> 00:38:27,566
These Rico glasses, man.
They probably got him.
836
00:38:27,599 --> 00:38:30,235
They done... they done drunk all
his blood and everything, man.
837
00:38:30,269 --> 00:38:32,538
Stop! That motherfucker
just tried to play me.
838
00:38:32,571 --> 00:38:33,971
He's going to jail.
839
00:38:34,005 --> 00:38:36,208
Three hots and a cot,
he's going to jail.
840
00:38:36,241 --> 00:38:38,310
So, what you
gonna do about it?
841
00:38:38,344 --> 00:38:40,379
The little motherfucker's going to jail
for pimping and pandering around here.
842
00:38:40,412 --> 00:38:41,946
What you mean,
what I'm gonna do?
843
00:38:41,979 --> 00:38:44,949
Police ain't never arrestin'
no goddamn vampire.
844
00:38:44,982 --> 00:38:46,652
That's shit, okay?
845
00:38:46,685 --> 00:38:49,088
Did you see he floated down the stairs?
846
00:38:49,121 --> 00:38:50,556
You didn't see him float?
847
00:38:50,589 --> 00:38:52,391
911,
what's your emergency?
848
00:38:52,424 --> 00:38:54,493
Yes, I have
a problem here.
849
00:38:54,526 --> 00:38:57,162
Um,
I'm a new neighbor
850
00:38:57,196 --> 00:38:59,131
that just moved
in the neighborhood.
851
00:38:59,164 --> 00:39:01,066
As you can tell,
I'm Caucasian.
852
00:39:01,100 --> 00:39:03,602
And there's
a real peculiar guy.
853
00:39:03,635 --> 00:39:05,604
- Is he Black? Okay.
- Yes, he's Black.
854
00:39:05,637 --> 00:39:07,172
We'll send over
five units right away.
855
00:39:07,206 --> 00:39:08,607
Okay, you'll be here
in a second?
856
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,676
- Right away.
- Thank you.
857
00:39:10,709 --> 00:39:14,046
That's how you do that.
858
00:39:14,079 --> 00:39:15,414
He's going to jail.
859
00:39:25,290 --> 00:39:27,159
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, fall back, fall back.
860
00:39:27,192 --> 00:39:29,161
- What's going on?
- I'm the lead cop on this.
861
00:39:29,194 --> 00:39:31,363
- Laced, you're a rookie.
- Listen, I'm just tryin' to have some fun.
862
00:39:31,397 --> 00:39:33,432
I said
fall back, man.
863
00:39:33,465 --> 00:39:35,200
Listen, I got my gun.
I'm going to this house to have some fun.
864
00:39:35,234 --> 00:39:36,468
Do my thing.
865
00:39:38,036 --> 00:39:40,506
All right. Go ahead.
Handle this.
866
00:39:40,539 --> 00:39:42,207
What kind of spooky shit
is this?
867
00:39:42,241 --> 00:39:45,043
First time bein' a cop.
This is gonna be a breeze.
868
00:39:45,077 --> 00:39:47,112
That like a old couple
relationship.
869
00:39:53,152 --> 00:39:54,520
Come on out of there
870
00:39:54,553 --> 00:39:56,455
- before I put a hot one in your ass!
- Hold on.
871
00:39:56,488 --> 00:39:57,723
There'll be no gun violence.
Put your gun down. This is my first day.
872
00:39:57,756 --> 00:39:59,458
Shut up and stop
being a little bitch.
873
00:40:04,163 --> 00:40:06,298
Two of them in up
there, weird as hell.
874
00:40:06,331 --> 00:40:08,233
Lock his ass up.
875
00:40:08,267 --> 00:40:09,368
He got Rico.
876
00:40:12,171 --> 00:40:15,374
- Police.
- Good heavens! What is all the fuss?
877
00:40:15,407 --> 00:40:18,610
Oh, a father
and son team, splendid.
878
00:40:18,644 --> 00:40:20,679
What may I do for you,
dark-skinned Hutch?
879
00:40:20,712 --> 00:40:23,449
Listen, big fella.
Dude down there saying y'all been involved
880
00:40:23,482 --> 00:40:25,617
in the kidnappin' of the
neighborhood watch captain?
881
00:40:25,651 --> 00:40:26,984
Rico.
882
00:40:27,018 --> 00:40:28,320
- So y'all kidnap him?
- Yeah.
883
00:40:28,353 --> 00:40:29,521
And I heard you got hoes
all up in through there.
884
00:40:29,555 --> 00:40:30,689
Y'all freaky-freaky, huh?
885
00:40:30,722 --> 00:40:32,324
Not at all, sir.
886
00:40:32,357 --> 00:40:34,660
This is the residence
of Dr. Mamuwalde.
887
00:40:34,693 --> 00:40:37,429
- Mama-who?
- Can't a man pimp in peace?
888
00:40:39,264 --> 00:40:41,700
The name is
Dr. Mamuwalde.
889
00:40:43,235 --> 00:40:45,204
- Shit.
- He trippin'-trippin'.
890
00:40:45,237 --> 00:40:47,105
I hope they get
his ass, man.
891
00:40:47,139 --> 00:40:48,774
Listen, big fella,
do you mind if I have a look inside,
892
00:40:48,807 --> 00:40:50,409
see what's going on
see what I can steal?
893
00:40:50,442 --> 00:40:52,177
I mean, just see what's
going on in the house.
894
00:40:52,211 --> 00:40:55,414
Absolutely. My house
is your house, officer.
895
00:40:55,447 --> 00:40:57,216
Feel free to look around
896
00:40:57,249 --> 00:41:00,486
- as soon as you present your warrant.
- He trippin'.
897
00:41:00,519 --> 00:41:02,287
- Warrant?
- Yes, warrant.
898
00:41:02,321 --> 00:41:05,123
What the fuck? You 'posed to
be an expert on the law now?
899
00:41:05,157 --> 00:41:08,126
I'm gonna show you what we do
with experts down here, hm?
900
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,528
Hold on, what you doing?
901
00:41:09,561 --> 00:41:11,597
No! Put the taser off!
Put the taser off!
902
00:41:11,630 --> 00:41:14,299
- You trippin'-trippin'.
- Uh-huh, bust him. Bust him.
903
00:41:14,333 --> 00:41:16,535
- Put your taser off.
- Don't eyeball me, boy.
904
00:41:16,568 --> 00:41:18,237
Don't play with me.
905
00:41:18,270 --> 00:41:19,671
We just want to know if you
know about the whereabouts
906
00:41:19,705 --> 00:41:22,174
of this Rico guy.
Where is Rico?
907
00:41:22,207 --> 00:41:25,477
You're the one supposed
to be looking
908
00:41:25,511 --> 00:41:28,380
for whoever you're
looking for, sir.
909
00:41:28,413 --> 00:41:31,617
I don't know who Rico is
and you can't make me.
910
00:41:31,650 --> 00:41:33,151
He's lying, man.
911
00:41:33,185 --> 00:41:34,786
How y'all gonna believe
912
00:41:34,820 --> 00:41:37,756
somebody dressed like
Dr. Seuss is what I'm sayin'?
913
00:41:37,789 --> 00:41:39,758
What do you do, sir?
For a living?
914
00:41:39,791 --> 00:41:43,595
Well, for a living,
I take fantasy and dreams
915
00:41:43,629 --> 00:41:46,665
and I make them
into reality.
916
00:41:46,698 --> 00:41:50,168
Let me tell you something,
creepy motherfucker. You got two options.
917
00:41:50,202 --> 00:41:54,339
Option A, we look around
inside this spooky motherfucker,
918
00:41:54,373 --> 00:41:56,642
or option B, we're gonna
arrest your ass,
919
00:41:56,675 --> 00:41:59,144
take you down to the precinct,
ask you a bunch of goddamn questions.
920
00:41:59,177 --> 00:42:01,680
He's going to jail. That's
what I'm talking about.
921
00:42:01,713 --> 00:42:04,149
I'll take... I haven't even
chosen my options.
922
00:42:04,182 --> 00:42:05,784
Oh, we're gonna do it.
We're gonna take him now.
923
00:42:05,817 --> 00:42:08,387
Option A, I don't.
Option B...
924
00:42:08,420 --> 00:42:09,755
We're gonna take
you downtown, Midnite.
925
00:42:09,788 --> 00:42:11,490
Wait a minute.
926
00:42:11,523 --> 00:42:14,526
How can you call me "midnight"
as dark as you are...
927
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:17,095
- What? What did you say?
- ...ith all due respect, officer?
928
00:42:17,129 --> 00:42:20,132
Well, if I'm Midnight,
aren't you two Nights?
929
00:42:20,165 --> 00:42:22,200
There ain't shit you're gonna do about it.
Come on with your little...
930
00:42:22,234 --> 00:42:23,735
- Stop resisting.
- They're taking him to jail.
931
00:42:23,769 --> 00:42:25,771
That's what I'm talking about.
Do your job.
932
00:42:25,804 --> 00:42:28,206
This is definitely
Black on Black crime.
933
00:42:28,240 --> 00:42:30,342
Hey, I got it.
Take his Black ass down.
934
00:42:43,522 --> 00:42:44,856
Officer!
935
00:42:44,890 --> 00:42:46,725
I believe there's been
a misunderstanding.
936
00:42:48,860 --> 00:42:50,596
Do you mean this Rico?
937
00:42:55,867 --> 00:42:58,270
Rico, what the fuck
you doing in there?
938
00:42:58,303 --> 00:43:01,473
I'm fine. I was just
in the basement...
939
00:43:01,506 --> 00:43:03,275
They didn't fondle with you
down there, did they?
940
00:43:03,308 --> 00:43:04,676
They did me fine.
941
00:43:04,710 --> 00:43:07,779
- They served me fresh bananas.
- From Honduras.
942
00:43:07,813 --> 00:43:09,247
Bananas in the basement?
943
00:43:09,281 --> 00:43:10,916
They done brainwashed
his crazy ass.
944
00:43:10,949 --> 00:43:12,317
They did more
than brainwashing.
945
00:43:12,351 --> 00:43:14,252
Somethin' ain't
right with him.
946
00:43:27,933 --> 00:43:30,802
Come to me, Lorena.
947
00:43:38,710 --> 00:43:41,313
Come to me, Lorena.
948
00:43:42,447 --> 00:43:44,783
I've been searching for you.
949
00:43:46,785 --> 00:43:52,424
Are you feeling my breath
upon your corpuscle?
950
00:44:02,768 --> 00:44:04,603
What kind
of cop shit is this?
951
00:44:04,636 --> 00:44:05,937
Y'all let him go?
952
00:44:05,971 --> 00:44:08,507
Mr. Black, you call us
down here again
953
00:44:08,540 --> 00:44:09,775
and waste our damn time,
954
00:44:09,808 --> 00:44:12,377
I'm gonna take
your ashy ass to jail.
955
00:44:12,411 --> 00:44:13,912
We cop cops.
This ain't no damn joke!
956
00:44:13,945 --> 00:44:16,415
Man, if you don't get
your retarded ass...
957
00:44:16,448 --> 00:44:19,785
You better watch your mouth, before I
stick these goddamn handcuffs up your ass.
958
00:44:19,818 --> 00:44:21,920
Don't eyeball me, boy.
959
00:44:21,953 --> 00:44:23,789
Let's go.
960
00:44:25,824 --> 00:44:28,560
Carl, why are you
here with the police?
961
00:44:28,593 --> 00:44:30,395
What did the neighbor
do to you?
962
00:44:30,429 --> 00:44:32,831
This is what happens when you
keep messing with the neighbors.
963
00:44:32,864 --> 00:44:34,433
Why are you blamin'
him for everything?
964
00:44:34,466 --> 00:44:36,368
Because clearly, I see
you out here too.
965
00:44:36,401 --> 00:44:38,570
For real, this is your plan.
Don't try to put this on me.
966
00:44:38,603 --> 00:44:40,439
- We're movin' out.
- What do you mean? Wait!
967
00:44:40,472 --> 00:44:42,274
- Without you.
- How you gonna move out without me?
968
00:44:42,307 --> 00:44:43,809
- We family.
- No. We not family.
969
00:44:43,842 --> 00:44:45,711
You're just my cousin
that fucks up everything.
970
00:44:45,744 --> 00:44:46,878
- That's family.
- You know what?
971
00:44:46,912 --> 00:44:49,247
I'm tired of you
always blamin' him.
972
00:44:49,281 --> 00:44:51,583
Look right here. This is what it's
about, me and you. You're messing up.
973
00:44:59,658 --> 00:45:01,760
- Babe. I can explain.
- You should be ashamed of yourself.
974
00:45:01,793 --> 00:45:05,297
The motherfucker was trying to
disrespect me in front of my daughter.
975
00:45:05,330 --> 00:45:07,699
I'm tired of you
embarrassing our family.
976
00:45:09,367 --> 00:45:11,303
You owe that man
an apology.
977
00:45:11,336 --> 00:45:12,838
Babe...
978
00:45:14,473 --> 00:45:16,908
I don't know
if this is it for us.
979
00:45:16,942 --> 00:45:20,746
I used to think it was the house,
the neighborhood, your book.
980
00:45:20,779 --> 00:45:23,415
But it's not.
981
00:45:23,448 --> 00:45:26,017
It's you.
982
00:45:26,052 --> 00:45:27,819
It's you and I
that don't work.
983
00:45:33,492 --> 00:45:36,962
I got to go back to work.
So you figure that out.
984
00:45:38,797 --> 00:45:42,300
I'll apologize.
I'll go apologize.
985
00:45:42,334 --> 00:45:45,737
I don't have a problem
apologizing to him.
986
00:45:45,771 --> 00:45:48,406
Attack and bring me my wife.
987
00:45:49,975 --> 00:45:52,010
Right this
way, Mr. Black.
988
00:45:52,044 --> 00:45:54,479
The good doctor'll be here
to deal with you shortly.
989
00:45:54,513 --> 00:45:56,548
Hey, man. Did you
just change your accent?
990
00:45:56,581 --> 00:45:59,718
Where'd he go? What the fuck
was he saying?
991
00:46:01,553 --> 00:46:03,655
Wow.
992
00:46:03,688 --> 00:46:04,890
It's nice, though.
993
00:46:08,393 --> 00:46:09,661
- Carl Black.
- Hey!
994
00:46:09,694 --> 00:46:12,531
What the fuck!
Jesus, Buddha, Allah!
995
00:46:14,066 --> 00:46:16,368
Is every place in here creepy?
996
00:46:16,401 --> 00:46:19,071
I thought I smelled
failure in here.
997
00:46:19,105 --> 00:46:23,508
And I thought I smelled Celine
Dion's wig also in here.
998
00:46:23,542 --> 00:46:25,944
You're a funny
motherfucker, Carl.
999
00:46:25,977 --> 00:46:29,581
And I don't just mean that
dumb expression on your face.
1000
00:46:29,614 --> 00:46:33,119
Yeah? Well, look,
let me be straight up with you, all right?
1001
00:46:33,152 --> 00:46:34,686
- Thank you.
- I don't like you.
1002
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:35,887
First time I seen you,
1003
00:46:35,921 --> 00:46:38,124
- just didn't like you.
- Okay.
1004
00:46:38,157 --> 00:46:42,394
My wife sent me over here to apologize
to you and that's what I want to do.
1005
00:46:42,427 --> 00:46:44,896
I want to apologize,
but I just want to let you know,
1006
00:46:44,930 --> 00:46:47,399
I don't give a fuck.
1007
00:46:47,432 --> 00:46:48,767
We getting the fuck out
of this neighborhood.
1008
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:51,403
Well, that's very
interesting, Green Lantern,
1009
00:46:51,436 --> 00:46:53,572
but you can't leave
just yet.
1010
00:46:53,605 --> 00:46:55,074
Oh, yes, I can! Shit!
1011
00:46:55,107 --> 00:46:56,575
My lease is up next month.
1012
00:46:58,777 --> 00:46:59,878
What's this?
1013
00:46:59,911 --> 00:47:01,780
There's something
I want from you
1014
00:47:01,813 --> 00:47:03,949
and you're not
leaving until I get it.
1015
00:47:03,982 --> 00:47:06,885
Man, I hope it's my nuts
for these girls.
1016
00:47:06,918 --> 00:47:08,453
No!
1017
00:47:10,122 --> 00:47:13,692
My book.
You like my book?
1018
00:47:13,725 --> 00:47:15,927
I told you I was a fan
of your book.
1019
00:47:15,961 --> 00:47:18,396
- That is crazy.
- It was magnificent.
1020
00:47:18,430 --> 00:47:19,598
You like my book.
1021
00:47:19,631 --> 00:47:21,700
I like you
and your family, Carl.
1022
00:47:21,733 --> 00:47:22,934
And not everybody
in my family
1023
00:47:22,968 --> 00:47:24,970
agreed with you moving in
next door to us.
1024
00:47:25,003 --> 00:47:26,705
Your wife.
1025
00:47:26,738 --> 00:47:29,007
My wife? Lorena?
1026
00:47:29,041 --> 00:47:30,609
Lorena.
1027
00:47:30,642 --> 00:47:33,778
Oh, no. She ain't...
she ain't into no pimping shit.
1028
00:47:33,812 --> 00:47:36,082
She ain't into no pimping shit
and I ain't either, okay?
1029
00:47:36,115 --> 00:47:37,782
Tried it, didn't like it.
1030
00:47:37,816 --> 00:47:41,920
And my daughter?
That's off limits.
1031
00:47:41,953 --> 00:47:44,689
You're too grown to be messing
with anybody's daughter.
1032
00:47:44,723 --> 00:47:46,658
Ain't no man gonna let you
mess with they daughter.
1033
00:47:46,691 --> 00:47:49,861
She's still a little girl.
She's still doing Juicy Juices.
1034
00:47:49,895 --> 00:47:52,631
She's not a grown lady.
She don't know what YAK is,
1035
00:47:52,664 --> 00:47:54,566
nor does she know
what Gray Goose is.
1036
00:47:54,599 --> 00:47:58,137
I had no idea how old she was.
She was my size.
1037
00:47:58,170 --> 00:48:00,639
Keep your little
one, two, three, four, five,
1038
00:48:00,672 --> 00:48:04,210
six, seven, eight, nine,
ten, eleven, twelve fingers
1039
00:48:04,243 --> 00:48:06,544
away from my daughter,
blah-blah.
1040
00:48:06,578 --> 00:48:07,779
Big mistake.
1041
00:48:07,812 --> 00:48:09,115
Don't fuck with my daughter.
1042
00:48:09,148 --> 00:48:11,583
And Cronut,
he's a character.
1043
00:48:11,616 --> 00:48:13,485
Oh, Cronut?
You can have him.
1044
00:48:13,518 --> 00:48:16,788
Ugh. No one wants Cronut.
1045
00:48:16,821 --> 00:48:18,124
You can fuck him
if you want.
1046
00:48:19,724 --> 00:48:22,128
He's crazy.
He's the one that think
1047
00:48:22,161 --> 00:48:25,864
Michael Jackson and Biggie
and Tupac is still living,
1048
00:48:25,897 --> 00:48:28,533
and-and thinks O.J.
didn't do it.
1049
00:48:28,566 --> 00:48:30,169
He's got a whole lot
of shit in his head.
1050
00:48:30,202 --> 00:48:33,039
And he gave me some crazy
theories about you too.
1051
00:48:33,072 --> 00:48:36,808
I'mma go ahead and sign this autograph
'fore I can get on out of here.
1052
00:48:38,877 --> 00:48:41,780
And what was his theory
about me?
1053
00:48:41,813 --> 00:48:45,617
We still don't know why you
moved in the neighborhood...
1054
00:49:02,867 --> 00:49:06,172
What the fuck!
What's wrong with you?
1055
00:49:06,205 --> 00:49:09,208
Egad, Carl Black.
1056
00:49:09,241 --> 00:49:11,876
Do I detect hostility
in your voice?
1057
00:49:11,910 --> 00:49:13,545
I thought we were cool now.
1058
00:49:13,578 --> 00:49:14,846
No, we're not cool!
1059
00:49:14,879 --> 00:49:18,750
And you do detect
hostility in my voice.
1060
00:49:18,783 --> 00:49:21,220
You got a picture of my wife
naked on your fucking wall!
1061
00:49:21,253 --> 00:49:23,189
I ain't even got
a picture of this bitch.
1062
00:49:23,222 --> 00:49:25,523
- Did you photoshop the picture?
- No.
1063
00:49:26,958 --> 00:49:28,127
No, that's her.
1064
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:32,231
I bet I know what Cronut
thinks about me.
1065
00:49:32,264 --> 00:49:34,799
You know what?
1066
00:49:34,833 --> 00:49:38,237
He was right.
1067
00:50:01,227 --> 00:50:03,062
What are you doing?
1068
00:50:03,095 --> 00:50:04,829
Be quiet.
I know what I'm doing.
1069
00:50:04,863 --> 00:50:06,664
Would you...
Dad, come on.
1070
00:50:06,698 --> 00:50:08,767
Son, I got something
I need to talk to you about.
1071
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:10,568
All right.
1072
00:50:10,602 --> 00:50:12,971
We got a vampire living next door!
I've seen him!
1073
00:50:13,004 --> 00:50:15,940
- Hey, that's cool!
- I think I've seen that dude.
1074
00:50:15,974 --> 00:50:17,709
What's so...
What the fuck is wrong...
1075
00:50:17,742 --> 00:50:19,111
What's cool about that?
1076
00:50:19,145 --> 00:50:21,880
Dad, Dad, just relax.
Just call the cops.
1077
00:50:21,913 --> 00:50:23,215
I can't call the cops.
1078
00:50:23,249 --> 00:50:25,084
Okay, everybody knows
the vampire rules.
1079
00:50:25,117 --> 00:50:26,885
Like, a vampire
cannot come in your house
1080
00:50:26,918 --> 00:50:29,321
unless you invite him in.
Did you invite him in?
1081
00:50:29,355 --> 00:50:31,123
- No. I didn't invite him in.
- All right.
1082
00:50:31,157 --> 00:50:32,690
All right, then you're good.
That's good.
1083
00:50:32,724 --> 00:50:34,060
- I'm cool. Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1084
00:50:34,093 --> 00:50:35,660
Come on now.
Everybody knows that.
1085
00:50:35,693 --> 00:50:37,196
It's in literally
every vampire comic book.
1086
00:50:37,229 --> 00:50:38,297
Every one.
1087
00:50:38,330 --> 00:50:41,933
Oh, man.
You got some weed?
1088
00:50:41,966 --> 00:50:43,802
Dad, what?
Just leave. Just leave.
1089
00:50:45,037 --> 00:50:46,738
I know who got it.
1090
00:50:46,771 --> 00:50:48,773
No, he doesn't. He's kidding.
Bro, shut up.
1091
00:50:48,807 --> 00:50:50,276
- A dime bag? Twenty?
- No, no. Leave. Leave. He's kidding.
1092
00:50:50,309 --> 00:50:52,777
He's kidding. He's kidding.
Go take a nap.
1093
00:50:52,811 --> 00:50:55,047
- But I do.
- Just be quiet. Just stop.
1094
00:51:04,290 --> 00:51:06,624
I'm gonna watch you
all night, motherfucker.
1095
00:51:37,423 --> 00:51:39,924
Don't invite him in.
1096
00:51:48,367 --> 00:51:50,269
Oh, shit.
1097
00:51:55,940 --> 00:51:57,109
Give me your money.
1098
00:51:57,143 --> 00:51:58,776
Please don't hurt me.
1099
00:51:58,810 --> 00:52:00,146
Please don't hurt...
1100
00:52:24,802 --> 00:52:26,838
Hi, Carl.
1101
00:52:32,977 --> 00:52:35,181
No.
1102
00:52:36,448 --> 00:52:38,284
No.
I'm being serious.
1103
00:52:38,317 --> 00:52:42,188
I'm telling you, it's been an
interesting week and I apologize.
1104
00:52:42,221 --> 00:52:45,257
I feel the timing of it all
is pretty, um, special,
1105
00:52:45,291 --> 00:52:48,960
that you would... I don't know where
you came from, but I appreciate it.
1106
00:52:48,993 --> 00:52:52,231
And I think it's important
that we met tonight
1107
00:52:52,264 --> 00:52:54,400
because I wanted to really
apologize for the other night.
1108
00:52:54,433 --> 00:52:57,069
I know my husband
was in there tonight.
1109
00:52:57,102 --> 00:52:59,737
Is everything okay?
Mamuwalde, right?
1110
00:52:59,771 --> 00:53:02,740
I have to, um, really
get this out,
1111
00:53:02,774 --> 00:53:06,178
because I feel like I'm having a little
bit of an out-of-body experience,
1112
00:53:06,212 --> 00:53:10,149
because I typically don't invite
complete strangers into my house
1113
00:53:10,182 --> 00:53:13,419
to have a glass of wine.
In this case...
1114
00:53:13,452 --> 00:53:15,354
Don't invite him in.
1115
00:53:19,491 --> 00:53:21,960
- Hey.
- Thank you. I appreciate that.
1116
00:53:23,995 --> 00:53:25,364
What you doing?
1117
00:53:25,397 --> 00:53:27,132
Baby, hi.
Hi. Were you sleeping?
1118
00:53:27,166 --> 00:53:30,269
What is he doing here?
He's not supposed to be here.
1119
00:53:30,302 --> 00:53:33,172
Where are your manners, baby?
This is Dr. Mamuwalde.
1120
00:53:33,205 --> 00:53:35,307
- Our neighbor from earlier...
- I know what you doing!
1121
00:53:35,341 --> 00:53:37,176
Yes, where are
your manners, baby?
1122
00:53:37,209 --> 00:53:39,144
He's not supposed
to be in this house.
1123
00:53:39,178 --> 00:53:41,012
I invited him to have
a glass of wine with me
1124
00:53:41,046 --> 00:53:42,780
because if anything,
we owe him a thank you.
1125
00:53:42,814 --> 00:53:44,450
- I don't wanna hear all that.
- If it wasn't for our neighbor,
1126
00:53:44,483 --> 00:53:46,051
I would have gotten
mugged tonight.
1127
00:53:46,085 --> 00:53:48,187
You got mugged?
1128
00:53:48,220 --> 00:53:49,854
He swooped... Where did you come from?
Where? How did you get there?
1129
00:53:49,887 --> 00:53:52,157
- Swooped.
- What happened?
1130
00:53:52,191 --> 00:53:56,095
Fortunately for you, I happened to be in
the area looking for a late-night snack
1131
00:53:56,128 --> 00:54:00,032
and happened to stumble
upon your tastiness.
1132
00:54:00,065 --> 00:54:01,500
He's not supposed
to be in our home.
1133
00:54:01,533 --> 00:54:03,835
He was not invited by no one.
1134
00:54:03,868 --> 00:54:05,903
Under ordinary circumstances,
1135
00:54:05,937 --> 00:54:08,107
Carl Black here
would be right,
1136
00:54:08,140 --> 00:54:10,975
- but I was invited, Carl.
- You know the rules.
1137
00:54:11,009 --> 00:54:13,512
- His kind is not invited in our house.
- Listen...
1138
00:54:13,545 --> 00:54:15,880
- My kind?
- Yeah.
1139
00:54:15,913 --> 00:54:19,451
That is a racist
statement, Negro.
1140
00:54:19,485 --> 00:54:21,553
I'll have you know,
1141
00:54:21,587 --> 00:54:25,524
in this age of divisiveness
and bigotry,
1142
00:54:25,557 --> 00:54:28,026
we can't do this
to each other.
1143
00:54:29,194 --> 00:54:30,362
Sheesh!
1144
00:54:30,396 --> 00:54:32,531
Yes. Baby, listen,
please just calm down.
1145
00:54:32,564 --> 00:54:34,566
We got a real live
vampire in my house
1146
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:36,101
and you're telling me
to calm down?
1147
00:54:36,135 --> 00:54:38,404
If I had a wife as fine
as yours,
1148
00:54:38,437 --> 00:54:41,140
I'd never let her out
of my sight.
1149
00:54:41,173 --> 00:54:43,575
Hey, man! What-what-what
you doing? You can't do that, man.
1150
00:54:43,609 --> 00:54:45,311
What the fuck!
What if I grab your hair, man?
1151
00:54:45,344 --> 00:54:49,013
Do not...
1152
00:54:49,048 --> 00:54:51,883
touch my hair,
Carl Black.
1153
00:54:51,916 --> 00:54:53,285
You got two Bo Derek braids
1154
00:54:53,319 --> 00:54:54,852
hanging on both
sides of your face
1155
00:54:54,886 --> 00:54:57,089
and you gon' touch
on my girl's shit.
1156
00:54:57,122 --> 00:54:59,358
Baby, just calm down, okay?
1157
00:54:59,391 --> 00:55:01,460
Okay, that's enough. That's enough.
1158
00:55:01,493 --> 00:55:03,562
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- What are you doing, Carl?
1159
00:55:03,595 --> 00:55:05,331
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it.
1160
00:55:05,364 --> 00:55:07,433
- Ouch!
- You know I'm clumsy a little bit.
1161
00:55:28,986 --> 00:55:32,157
That looks
exquisitely painful.
1162
00:55:32,191 --> 00:55:34,360
Ah-ah-ah. Go in there
and rinse your arm off.
1163
00:55:34,393 --> 00:55:36,128
- I got it, Carl. I got it.
- Yeah, you cut your hand
1164
00:55:36,161 --> 00:55:38,530
'cause you're standing up there
reckless eyeballing.
1165
00:55:38,564 --> 00:55:40,099
I got it.
Dr. Mamuwalde,
1166
00:55:40,132 --> 00:55:42,501
it was really,
really nice to meet you.
1167
00:55:42,534 --> 00:55:44,969
- Well, go wash your hand, baby. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Yeah, I'm...
1168
00:55:45,002 --> 00:55:46,138
Put a band-aid on it.
1169
00:55:46,171 --> 00:55:48,440
O-positive we'll see
each other again.
1170
00:55:48,474 --> 00:55:51,410
Listen, you little neglected
Harry Potter cast member,
1171
00:55:51,443 --> 00:55:53,345
let me tell you something.
1172
00:55:53,379 --> 00:55:56,582
That's my princess,
and that's my wife, and I love her.
1173
00:55:56,615 --> 00:55:58,650
You're not going
to destroy my family!
1174
00:55:58,684 --> 00:56:01,986
What do you intend
to do about it, Carl Black?
1175
00:56:02,019 --> 00:56:04,323
Install my cable,
motherfucker?
1176
00:56:04,356 --> 00:56:06,191
Nah.
1177
00:56:06,225 --> 00:56:10,995
I'm gonna pimp-slap the shit
out of your ass, motherfucker!
1178
00:56:14,099 --> 00:56:15,401
Damn, you're strong!
1179
00:56:15,434 --> 00:56:19,204
Let me tell you
a little story.
1180
00:56:21,240 --> 00:56:25,177
I've been looking
for Lorena for centuries.
1181
00:56:25,210 --> 00:56:30,014
I first laid eyes on that fine
young thing in the Caribbean.
1182
00:56:30,048 --> 00:56:33,485
Lost her, found her again.
1183
00:56:33,519 --> 00:56:38,190
I've seen all types of women
in all shapes and sizes,
1184
00:56:38,223 --> 00:56:42,361
but none compare
to the governor's daughter.
1185
00:56:42,394 --> 00:56:44,096
We were in love
1186
00:56:44,129 --> 00:56:47,299
and I was finally
going to make her mine.
1187
00:57:00,612 --> 00:57:03,515
You were warned, vampire.
1188
00:57:04,383 --> 00:57:09,388
Tonight's the night
that I send your soul to hell!
1189
00:57:09,421 --> 00:57:11,390
Demon!
1190
00:57:11,423 --> 00:57:14,126
Come, woman.
1191
00:57:14,159 --> 00:57:16,395
No. No. No!
1192
00:57:16,428 --> 00:57:19,398
They took the love
of my life from me
1193
00:57:19,431 --> 00:57:23,602
and I have been looking for my
Puerto Rican princess ever since.
1194
00:57:27,639 --> 00:57:31,109
Go to hell, vampire.
1195
00:57:34,646 --> 00:57:37,616
They took my life.
1196
00:57:40,352 --> 00:57:42,287
Man, that was a cool story!
1197
00:57:42,321 --> 00:57:47,059
But the real fact is,
is that's my wife, and I love her.
1198
00:57:47,092 --> 00:57:48,660
And you're not gonna
destroy my family.
1199
00:57:48,694 --> 00:57:52,264
You're doing a pretty
good job of that yourself.
1200
00:57:52,297 --> 00:57:53,699
What the fuck?
1201
00:57:53,732 --> 00:57:55,634
She will be mine.
1202
00:57:59,071 --> 00:58:01,406
No, no!
1203
00:58:02,708 --> 00:58:04,276
Mine...
1204
00:58:04,309 --> 00:58:05,777
Carl Black!
1205
00:58:14,786 --> 00:58:17,723
The authorities
are still in shambles
1206
00:58:17,756 --> 00:58:20,058
as they scurry about for clues
1207
00:58:20,092 --> 00:58:23,128
- in the murders of these prostitutes.
- Wow.
1208
00:58:23,161 --> 00:58:26,498
If anyone out there has any
information or any leads...
1209
00:58:26,532 --> 00:58:28,500
- Damn.
- ...feel free
1210
00:58:28,534 --> 00:58:31,537
to DM me personally at jack...
1211
00:58:31,570 --> 00:58:34,106
Hey, babe. Hey, hey.
1212
00:58:34,139 --> 00:58:36,475
- How's your arm?
- It's better. It's feeling good.
1213
00:58:36,508 --> 00:58:38,610
- I gotta go to work. What?
- No!
1214
00:58:38,644 --> 00:58:40,112
- Why you gotta go to work?
- Because you put me in this situation.
1215
00:58:40,145 --> 00:58:41,346
I got to go to work
to pay the bills.
1216
00:58:41,380 --> 00:58:43,749
Let me pay you
for the night.
1217
00:58:43,782 --> 00:58:46,151
You can't afford me
for the night.
1218
00:58:47,419 --> 00:58:49,588
- Listen, I love you.
- I know.
1219
00:58:49,621 --> 00:58:51,690
I-I just want to get you guys
out of this neighborhood.
1220
00:58:51,723 --> 00:58:54,126
Okay. Wait, wait,
call me crazy.
1221
00:58:54,159 --> 00:58:56,361
I-I'm just throwing
this out there.
1222
00:58:56,395 --> 00:58:58,830
I'm having second thoughts
about selling the house.
1223
00:58:58,864 --> 00:59:00,532
- What?
- I don't know,
1224
00:59:00,566 --> 00:59:02,568
ever since I met
the neighbor last night,
1225
00:59:02,601 --> 00:59:05,871
- the way that he was helping me or the way that he...
- Hey, hey.
1226
00:59:05,904 --> 00:59:09,341
- No, but maybe it's not such a bad neighborhood, babe.
- No, no, no, no, no. No!
1227
00:59:09,374 --> 00:59:11,310
- Wait, wait. He's a nice guy.
- Baby, listen. No! That... no.
1228
00:59:11,343 --> 00:59:13,679
He's not no fucking nice...
what did I tell you about liking people?
1229
00:59:13,712 --> 00:59:15,781
- Liking?
- You always liking somebody.
1230
00:59:15,814 --> 00:59:18,116
- No! Hey!
- He saved me.
1231
00:59:18,150 --> 00:59:19,651
Relax. Let's put
this to rest
1232
00:59:19,685 --> 00:59:21,353
until I come home
from work tonight, okay?
1233
00:59:21,386 --> 00:59:23,155
And we can talk
about it then.
1234
00:59:23,188 --> 00:59:25,624
- I got something I want to tell you.
- What?
1235
00:59:25,657 --> 00:59:27,259
The next-door neighbor...
1236
00:59:27,292 --> 00:59:28,827
- Yeah?
- He's a vampire.
1237
00:59:28,860 --> 00:59:30,362
A vampire.
1238
00:59:30,395 --> 00:59:31,863
- He's a fucking vampire.
- Okay.
1239
00:59:31,897 --> 00:59:33,865
A vampire.
You're crazy.
1240
00:59:33,899 --> 00:59:35,133
You're just jealous.
1241
00:59:38,537 --> 00:59:41,640
Cronut, let me in.
There's a vampire living next door.
1242
00:59:56,755 --> 00:59:58,190
Cronut?
1243
01:00:02,728 --> 01:00:03,695
Eww.
1244
01:00:09,901 --> 01:00:12,404
What's wrong with you?
Die, vampire!
1245
01:00:12,437 --> 01:00:15,307
- Die, vampire! Die!
- Let me go. Let me go. Let me go!
1246
01:00:15,340 --> 01:00:17,442
Get up off of me, man.
1247
01:00:17,476 --> 01:00:19,344
Fuck you doing in my house all uninvited?
I didn't invite you in here.
1248
01:00:19,378 --> 01:00:20,846
Why you sneaking up
on me like that?
1249
01:00:20,879 --> 01:00:23,315
Why am I sneaking up on you?
This is my house!
1250
01:00:23,348 --> 01:00:24,549
Fuck you doing
up in my house?
1251
01:00:24,583 --> 01:00:25,851
I thought you won't fuck
with me no more.
1252
01:00:25,884 --> 01:00:27,285
Whoa.
1253
01:00:27,319 --> 01:00:28,620
Why you got
them damn glasses on?
1254
01:00:28,654 --> 01:00:30,188
Why you care?
You don't like 'em?
1255
01:00:30,222 --> 01:00:31,456
They don't go
with my 'fit?
1256
01:00:31,490 --> 01:00:33,225
- No.
- What... what you want?
1257
01:00:33,258 --> 01:00:35,694
Shit. I, well, I just...
1258
01:00:35,727 --> 01:00:37,496
Hey, man, look.
1259
01:00:37,529 --> 01:00:39,231
All right.
You was right.
1260
01:00:39,264 --> 01:00:41,700
We do have a creature
living next door to us.
1261
01:00:41,733 --> 01:00:43,468
It's a real vampire, man.
1262
01:00:43,502 --> 01:00:44,803
I seen his teeth!
1263
01:00:44,836 --> 01:00:47,873
I thought you was lying
at first, but he's real.
1264
01:00:47,906 --> 01:00:50,709
And he already got Allie,
and I don't want him to get my wife!
1265
01:00:50,742 --> 01:00:52,511
And?
1266
01:00:52,544 --> 01:00:55,280
And that's about the closest
to an apology you gon' get.
1267
01:00:55,313 --> 01:00:57,249
I've been
doing my research
1268
01:00:57,282 --> 01:00:58,884
and what I came up with?
1269
01:00:58,917 --> 01:01:00,652
That house right over there?
1270
01:01:00,686 --> 01:01:02,954
It's a master vampire over
there, and that's the nest.
1271
01:01:02,988 --> 01:01:04,456
And we should kill him.
1272
01:01:04,489 --> 01:01:06,692
- What?
- We should kill him.
1273
01:01:06,725 --> 01:01:08,894
We, we.
That's French. We?
1274
01:01:08,927 --> 01:01:11,797
Yes, it is we.
Ain't no I in us.
1275
01:01:11,830 --> 01:01:15,367
It's we. Me and you.
We family.
1276
01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:17,602
Yeah.
Whatever.
1277
01:01:17,636 --> 01:01:19,471
We should kill
that motherfucker.
1278
01:01:19,504 --> 01:01:21,339
Let's bury him
in the ground, man.
1279
01:01:21,373 --> 01:01:22,641
Just leave his head out
1280
01:01:22,674 --> 01:01:24,643
and just kick him
in the head all day.
1281
01:01:24,676 --> 01:01:26,678
Check this out.
What's my name?
1282
01:01:26,712 --> 01:01:28,747
- Cronut.
- No, what's my real name?
1283
01:01:28,780 --> 01:01:30,649
- Man, look, man. Stop playing.
- Mr. what?
1284
01:01:30,682 --> 01:01:32,451
- Mister?
- Mr. Right.
1285
01:01:32,484 --> 01:01:35,353
Mr. Right.
You want to get rid of the vampire?
1286
01:01:35,387 --> 01:01:38,290
- Yeah.
- Trust me. I made a call.
1287
01:01:41,493 --> 01:01:43,462
- Who is that? Is that Barack Obama?
- Trust me.
1288
01:01:43,495 --> 01:01:45,731
Not quite,
but close.
1289
01:01:50,569 --> 01:01:51,470
Oooh.
1290
01:01:54,306 --> 01:01:58,643
Oh. Did you see that African
booty scratcher come out of there?
1291
01:01:58,677 --> 01:01:59,978
- Yes.
- No!
1292
01:02:00,011 --> 01:02:02,314
- Yes.
- Why'd you call him?
1293
01:02:02,347 --> 01:02:03,849
- Just trust me.
- Oh, man.
1294
01:02:03,882 --> 01:02:05,817
- Have I ever let you down?
- Yeah, a million times.
1295
01:02:05,851 --> 01:02:07,786
Don't worry about that.
That don't count.
1296
01:02:07,819 --> 01:02:09,955
- Oh, man. Look how he dressed.
- It looks crazy.
1297
01:02:09,988 --> 01:02:11,590
- Don't worry about it.
- Whoopi Goldberg.
1298
01:02:11,623 --> 01:02:13,925
- You smell a vampire?
- Not yet, wait.
1299
01:02:13,959 --> 01:02:16,795
Right now,
I smell fear.
1300
01:02:16,828 --> 01:02:19,898
- Fear?
- And I smell broke-ass-ness
1301
01:02:19,931 --> 01:02:21,767
coming from this direction.
1302
01:02:21,800 --> 01:02:24,536
- Broke-ass-ness?
- No, you smell your bottom lip.
1303
01:02:24,569 --> 01:02:26,004
Last but not least,
I smell...
1304
01:02:28,807 --> 01:02:30,909
two bitch-ass niggas.
1305
01:02:30,942 --> 01:02:33,612
That's why you called me to
save you like I did the Purge.
1306
01:02:33,645 --> 01:02:35,347
Saved me? You ain't
saved me from nothin'!
1307
01:02:35,380 --> 01:02:37,449
You better take
your Black ass off.
1308
01:02:37,482 --> 01:02:39,551
- Punk bitch nigga, you owe me money!
- I don't owe you nothin'.
1309
01:02:39,584 --> 01:02:41,787
You little dick bitch.
You pee on your boss.
1310
01:02:41,820 --> 01:02:44,422
- Fuck you too.
- I hope your wife get pregnant again
1311
01:02:44,456 --> 01:02:46,358
and I hope the baby
is not yours.
1312
01:02:46,391 --> 01:02:47,392
You kiss my ass!
1313
01:02:47,425 --> 01:02:48,727
Your mother,
your grandfather,
1314
01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:50,629
your uncles are all
the same nigga.
1315
01:02:50,662 --> 01:02:52,397
I know you work
for that cab company.
1316
01:02:52,430 --> 01:02:54,100
You need to get back in there
and drive that cab, so...
1317
01:02:54,133 --> 01:02:55,767
- Carl Black, you owe me money!
- Hey, hey, hey.
1318
01:02:55,801 --> 01:02:57,769
Calm down, calm down. I got it.
I got it, calm down.
1319
01:02:57,803 --> 01:02:59,671
- This nigga is pissing me off.
- If you calm down a little
1320
01:02:59,704 --> 01:03:01,773
- for a second. Look...
- Don't you hit my head.
1321
01:03:01,807 --> 01:03:03,942
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey.
1322
01:03:03,975 --> 01:03:06,578
Look, I promised him I'd show
him some crazy spooky shit
1323
01:03:06,611 --> 01:03:09,048
if I recorded it and put it
on his live TV show.
1324
01:03:09,081 --> 01:03:10,682
- On YouTube?
- Yeah.
1325
01:03:10,715 --> 01:03:11,917
- You ain't got no followers.
- He's popular.
1326
01:03:11,950 --> 01:03:14,053
Five hundred thousand
subscribers.
1327
01:03:14,086 --> 01:03:16,454
I got a live vampire
livin' next door to me.
1328
01:03:16,488 --> 01:03:17,422
That's what I got.
1329
01:03:17,455 --> 01:03:18,924
Nigga,
that's why I'm here.
1330
01:03:18,957 --> 01:03:20,392
- That's why I brought these!
- Hey, hey!
1331
01:03:20,425 --> 01:03:22,061
Put your leftovers down, man.
1332
01:03:22,094 --> 01:03:25,730
You must listen to me because
I am a vampire slayer.
1333
01:03:25,764 --> 01:03:27,766
The vampires
are very dangerous.
1334
01:03:27,799 --> 01:03:29,801
They will kill you.
1335
01:03:29,835 --> 01:03:33,039
He will suck your blood.
He could be after your wife.
1336
01:03:33,072 --> 01:03:35,407
You have a wife. I know that.
I've seen her.
1337
01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:37,043
She have a nice ass.
No disrespect.
1338
01:03:37,076 --> 01:03:39,010
Tell me about these niggas,
please. What did he look like?
1339
01:03:39,045 --> 01:03:41,012
He's bite-size,
he's real short.
1340
01:03:41,047 --> 01:03:42,547
How short is he?
1341
01:03:42,581 --> 01:03:44,516
He's short. He's... he's,
you know, he's...
1342
01:03:44,549 --> 01:03:46,017
Between you and this nigga,
where is he?
1343
01:03:46,052 --> 01:03:47,619
Like this way? This way?
That way? Under the table?
1344
01:03:47,652 --> 01:03:49,387
- Pocket size.
- Pocket size nigga?
1345
01:03:49,421 --> 01:03:50,956
He got like a little perm.
1346
01:03:50,989 --> 01:03:53,159
He looked like that
little man on the dime.
1347
01:03:53,192 --> 01:03:54,893
- What dime?
- The dime.
1348
01:03:54,926 --> 01:03:56,962
- The dime, motherfucker. The dime.
- Dime. Ten cents.
1349
01:03:56,995 --> 01:03:58,763
Ten cents a day,
like what you eat.
1350
01:03:58,797 --> 01:04:00,765
Shut the fuck up, little bitch nigga.
Fuck you.
1351
01:04:00,799 --> 01:04:03,435
If I had a choice
between the vampires,
1352
01:04:03,468 --> 01:04:05,904
the devil and Donald Trump,
1353
01:04:05,937 --> 01:04:07,973
I would take Donald Trump.
1354
01:04:08,006 --> 01:04:11,810
The question is now he's trying
to take your family away,
1355
01:04:11,843 --> 01:04:13,912
- what are you are gonna do?
- Hey, hey, hey!
1356
01:04:13,945 --> 01:04:16,082
We're not the vampire.
You don't have to keep putting that on us.
1357
01:04:16,115 --> 01:04:19,017
Don't be a bitch!
If I want to talk to a little nigga,
1358
01:04:19,051 --> 01:04:20,652
I go to Chuck E. Cheese.
1359
01:04:22,487 --> 01:04:24,456
Either you gon' help me,
or you gon' help me,
1360
01:04:24,489 --> 01:04:25,724
somebody's gonna help me
1361
01:04:25,757 --> 01:04:27,059
or I'm going up in there
with a wooden thing
1362
01:04:27,093 --> 01:04:29,027
- and I'm gonna stab him in the...
- Mm.
1363
01:04:29,061 --> 01:04:32,131
I'm telling you! You know how...
I'm going up in there and...
1364
01:04:32,164 --> 01:04:33,899
Hey!
1365
01:04:33,932 --> 01:04:35,967
- You guys are crazier'n shit!
- Who the fuck is that?
1366
01:04:38,003 --> 01:04:40,505
Carl Black,
I'm all you have.
1367
01:04:40,538 --> 01:04:42,674
You must save your wife
1368
01:04:42,707 --> 01:04:44,509
before it's too late.
1369
01:05:06,564 --> 01:05:07,832
Fellas, listen to me.
1370
01:05:07,866 --> 01:05:10,735
The vampire is
very tricky and old.
1371
01:05:10,769 --> 01:05:14,739
It has survived many
centuries because he's smart.
1372
01:05:14,773 --> 01:05:18,177
Much smarter than your stupid
ignorant ass, Carl Black.
1373
01:05:18,210 --> 01:05:21,880
That insidious bastard
is a master vampire.
1374
01:05:21,913 --> 01:05:23,782
A master vampire?
1375
01:05:23,815 --> 01:05:27,919
He's not to be played with.
That means he has companions.
1376
01:05:27,953 --> 01:05:30,622
- Companions?
- We have a lot more to deal with.
1377
01:05:30,655 --> 01:05:32,091
You have to get
to know your enemy.
1378
01:05:32,124 --> 01:05:33,658
I thought I knew him.
1379
01:05:33,692 --> 01:05:35,261
And how about his crew?
Do you know them?
1380
01:05:35,294 --> 01:05:38,030
His crew? What?
The butler?
1381
01:05:38,064 --> 01:05:41,666
Butler?! That's not a butler!
That's his ghoul!
1382
01:05:41,700 --> 01:05:43,102
What is a ghoul?
1383
01:05:43,135 --> 01:05:46,072
This is not the time
to be a bitch, Carl Black.
1384
01:05:46,105 --> 01:05:48,707
A ghoul is very dangerous.
1385
01:05:48,740 --> 01:05:50,942
- What about those fine-ass girls he had in there?
- Yeah. They was fine.
1386
01:05:50,976 --> 01:05:53,079
- Cronut!
- I liked them.
1387
01:05:53,112 --> 01:05:56,548
Those are not
average fine-ass girls.
1388
01:05:56,581 --> 01:05:59,651
Those are his bodyguards.
They are murderous.
1389
01:05:59,684 --> 01:06:01,120
What?
1390
01:06:01,153 --> 01:06:03,655
The more beautiful they are,
the more dangerous.
1391
01:06:03,688 --> 01:06:06,125
This is getting more serious
than I imagined.
1392
01:06:06,158 --> 01:06:08,793
What's this shit?
It was addressed to him.
1393
01:06:08,827 --> 01:06:10,762
He got a little chain on.
He got your same facial structure...
1394
01:06:10,795 --> 01:06:13,132
Don't be a dick face.
Give me that.
1395
01:06:22,707 --> 01:06:25,144
It is nothing.
Just some stupid fucking doll.
1396
01:06:25,177 --> 01:06:26,978
- Put it away.
- Are you sure?
1397
01:06:27,012 --> 01:06:28,546
How we going to kill
this motherfucker?
1398
01:06:28,580 --> 01:06:30,216
- Dad. Dad. I got an idea.
- What?
1399
01:06:30,249 --> 01:06:32,650
I turned the Purge bats
into stakes.
1400
01:06:32,684 --> 01:06:34,753
If you stab a vampire
with it, it'll die.
1401
01:06:34,786 --> 01:06:38,090
Shut up!
This is why I'm here.
1402
01:06:38,124 --> 01:06:41,160
We have to kill the vampire!
1403
01:06:57,876 --> 01:07:00,712
Why you wipe my
kisses off like that?
1404
01:07:00,745 --> 01:07:02,647
Baby, because you
put too much lip gloss on.
1405
01:07:02,680 --> 01:07:04,816
- No, I don't.
- Yeah, you do, and then my shit
1406
01:07:04,849 --> 01:07:06,684
- be all glittery for the rest of the day.
- Shut up. I do it for you
1407
01:07:06,718 --> 01:07:08,620
- when I'm around you. Whatever.
- Use Chapstick.
1408
01:07:08,653 --> 01:07:10,222
- You cute. You fine and all, baby.
- Whatever.
1409
01:07:10,256 --> 01:07:11,823
Give me a little bit
of head now.
1410
01:07:11,856 --> 01:07:13,024
- What?
- I'm just saying,
1411
01:07:13,059 --> 01:07:14,893
like, I wanna get
a little bit of head...
1412
01:07:14,926 --> 01:07:16,228
We're in front of my parents' house.
Are you serious?
1413
01:07:16,262 --> 01:07:17,929
Baby, they're sleeping
a little bit.
1414
01:07:17,962 --> 01:07:19,731
- Babe.
- Come on, baby.
1415
01:07:19,764 --> 01:07:21,333
- Just a little bit of head.
- Stop playing all the time.
1416
01:07:21,367 --> 01:07:23,601
- Baby, my-my legs. I'm-I'm paralyzed.
- Stop.
1417
01:07:23,635 --> 01:07:26,004
That's the least you could
do, community service.
1418
01:07:26,038 --> 01:07:27,672
Let me get a little bit
of community head.
1419
01:07:27,705 --> 01:07:29,007
Shut up. We need to talk.
1420
01:07:29,041 --> 01:07:30,376
Talk about what?
Baby, look,
1421
01:07:30,409 --> 01:07:32,311
talk with my dick in
your mouth a little bit.
1422
01:07:32,344 --> 01:07:34,012
- I don't mean to be disrespectful.
- Wait, wait. Listen.
1423
01:07:34,046 --> 01:07:35,980
Listen to what?
1424
01:07:36,014 --> 01:07:37,849
- Baby.
- Did you hear that?
1425
01:07:37,882 --> 01:07:39,118
The only thing you
need to listen to is...
1426
01:07:39,151 --> 01:07:42,154
Listen!
1427
01:07:43,222 --> 01:07:44,356
The fuck was that?
1428
01:07:47,093 --> 01:07:49,727
Shit! Oh, shit!
1429
01:07:49,761 --> 01:07:51,197
- What is that?
- Ooh.
1430
01:07:51,230 --> 01:07:52,131
Oh, my God.
1431
01:07:54,732 --> 01:07:57,036
Freezee!
Freezee!
1432
01:07:57,069 --> 01:07:59,138
That was Allie.
1433
01:07:59,171 --> 01:08:00,738
Time to get the fuck out.
1434
01:08:02,974 --> 01:08:04,143
What just happened?
1435
01:08:04,176 --> 01:08:05,944
I don't know. I just
heard screams, man.
1436
01:08:05,977 --> 01:08:08,713
He made the first move.
He has taken your daughter.
1437
01:08:08,746 --> 01:08:10,416
It's all fucked up, man.
1438
01:08:10,449 --> 01:08:12,951
I didn't know they had Allie, too.
I like Allie! But there's more.
1439
01:08:12,984 --> 01:08:14,886
- Well, tell us more.
- Yeah, you better say something
1440
01:08:14,919 --> 01:08:17,056
- before we take your banana bike, nigga.
- Come on now.
1441
01:08:17,089 --> 01:08:18,990
The vampires, man,
they got me.
1442
01:08:19,023 --> 01:08:20,792
See that house next door?
1443
01:08:20,825 --> 01:08:24,063
They havin' a big-ass
vampire party up there, man.
1444
01:08:24,096 --> 01:08:25,897
Dracula kind of blushin'.
1445
01:08:25,930 --> 01:08:29,235
They said when it's over,
they gonna kill everybody.
1446
01:08:29,268 --> 01:08:30,902
- Oh, God.
- Shit.
1447
01:08:30,935 --> 01:08:32,737
Things all fucked up
around here, man.
1448
01:08:32,770 --> 01:08:35,241
Not me. They ain't
gonna get me.
1449
01:08:35,274 --> 01:08:37,143
They ain't gonna get me!
1450
01:08:38,277 --> 01:08:39,744
Come back here!
1451
01:08:39,777 --> 01:08:43,382
Fuck that!
I'm a real snitch!
1452
01:08:43,415 --> 01:08:46,185
Those vampires
done bit me.
1453
01:08:47,419 --> 01:08:48,454
Did you hear that?
1454
01:08:48,487 --> 01:08:50,156
Yeah, you saw
how he took off?
1455
01:08:50,189 --> 01:08:52,757
This is exactly what
the monster wants.
1456
01:08:52,790 --> 01:08:54,126
He wants you
to attack him at night,
1457
01:08:54,160 --> 01:08:57,163
when he's strongest.
Don't fall for it.
1458
01:08:57,196 --> 01:08:59,431
What am I supposed to do?
I got a wife and a daughter over there.
1459
01:08:59,465 --> 01:09:01,766
Just wait till the daytime,
when he's weak.
1460
01:09:01,799 --> 01:09:03,269
- And then we kill him.
- No, no, no, no.
1461
01:09:03,302 --> 01:09:04,702
If you wait
till the morning,
1462
01:09:04,736 --> 01:09:06,771
Lorena and Allie
will be vampires.
1463
01:09:06,804 --> 01:09:09,241
- Oh.
- Junior, I love you to death.
1464
01:09:09,275 --> 01:09:11,243
They already got
your sister in there.
1465
01:09:11,277 --> 01:09:14,079
They're trying to get your mama.
This is a good neighborhood
1466
01:09:14,113 --> 01:09:16,382
and I'm here to protect it,
because I'm Carl Black.
1467
01:09:16,415 --> 01:09:19,285
And I'm Cronut.
We ride together, we die together!
1468
01:09:19,318 --> 01:09:21,120
Go lock up the house.
1469
01:09:21,153 --> 01:09:24,423
We need the right weapons
to kill this vampire.
1470
01:09:24,456 --> 01:09:26,392
- I made a phone call.
- Who you call?
1471
01:09:26,425 --> 01:09:28,427
- Mr. Saturday Night.
- What?
1472
01:09:28,460 --> 01:09:30,462
He knows everything
about killing vampires.
1473
01:09:30,496 --> 01:09:31,996
Saturday Night?
1474
01:09:32,031 --> 01:09:34,866
I met him last Friday
at Fat Tuesday's.
1475
01:09:34,899 --> 01:09:36,868
Let's go. It's war.
1476
01:09:44,943 --> 01:09:47,046
Friends, let me do
all the talking.
1477
01:09:48,846 --> 01:09:51,283
I've seen this guy
kill lots of people.
1478
01:09:51,317 --> 01:09:53,219
Don't do
no bitch shit now.
1479
01:10:01,493 --> 01:10:02,428
Let's go.
1480
01:10:07,499 --> 01:10:10,236
He's the only one
to kill vampires.
1481
01:10:10,269 --> 01:10:12,304
He'll give us
all the weapons.
1482
01:10:13,871 --> 01:10:15,107
Just stay calm.
1483
01:10:16,941 --> 01:10:18,843
I believe in God,
first and foremost.
1484
01:10:18,876 --> 01:10:20,279
So we huntin' vampires.
1485
01:10:20,312 --> 01:10:22,481
- I'm scared.
- What you scared of?
1486
01:10:22,514 --> 01:10:23,848
He looks like
The Undertaker.
1487
01:10:23,881 --> 01:10:25,850
I may not have what you want,
1488
01:10:25,883 --> 01:10:27,286
but I got just what you need.
1489
01:10:27,319 --> 01:10:28,487
Holy shit.
1490
01:10:30,021 --> 01:10:32,124
- You ain't playin'.
- No, he's not.
1491
01:10:32,157 --> 01:10:34,260
- Damn!
- You're gonna like this.
1492
01:10:35,827 --> 01:10:37,329
Whoa.
1493
01:10:37,363 --> 01:10:39,231
- Oh, that's cool. I like that.
- That's alkaline water.
1494
01:10:39,265 --> 01:10:40,532
Alkaline? It's holy water!
1495
01:10:40,566 --> 01:10:42,468
Joel Osteen holy water.
1496
01:10:42,501 --> 01:10:44,203
It kind got
a pineapple taste to it.
1497
01:10:44,236 --> 01:10:49,508
Since we have vampires,
I got us some UV sunlight.
1498
01:10:49,541 --> 01:10:52,378
Hey, hey, hey.
1499
01:10:54,647 --> 01:10:56,881
You're Black, motherfucker.
It don't work as well.
1500
01:10:56,914 --> 01:10:58,417
Nigga, I can't see now.
1501
01:10:58,450 --> 01:11:01,420
They say short motherfuckers
love to get freaky,
1502
01:11:01,453 --> 01:11:04,556
so I brought this
just for you.
1503
01:11:04,590 --> 01:11:06,991
My boy. You know me,
don't you?
1504
01:11:07,025 --> 01:11:08,893
- Not really.
- Is this real leather?
1505
01:11:08,926 --> 01:11:10,562
- Not really.
- I'm wearing this.
1506
01:11:10,596 --> 01:11:12,531
Look at that. Look,
look, look, look.
1507
01:11:12,564 --> 01:11:15,267
When y'all really ready to
take out some motherfuckers...
1508
01:11:15,301 --> 01:11:16,468
Ooh.
1509
01:11:16,502 --> 01:11:18,537
- This what I pull out.
- Shit.
1510
01:11:18,570 --> 01:11:21,440
- God is great.
- All the time.
1511
01:11:22,508 --> 01:11:23,975
If it ain't a Jesus.
1512
01:11:24,008 --> 01:11:26,078
You got a calling, Carl.
You put that on.
1513
01:11:26,111 --> 01:11:28,147
- Me?
- You put that on.
1514
01:11:30,449 --> 01:11:32,084
God gon' protect you.
1515
01:11:34,018 --> 01:11:35,454
There's something
I want to show you.
1516
01:11:37,456 --> 01:11:39,558
That look like
Leslie Jones' dildo.
1517
01:11:39,591 --> 01:11:41,493
Oh.
1518
01:11:41,527 --> 01:11:43,495
- Nigga...
- Hey, wait, wait, man.
1519
01:11:43,529 --> 01:11:44,862
- I think... I think he just stabbed me, he just...
- Stop it.
1520
01:11:44,896 --> 01:11:45,997
I felt it in my...
in my body.
1521
01:11:46,031 --> 01:11:47,599
No, you're cool.
Don't be bitches.
1522
01:11:47,633 --> 01:11:49,601
You look like you know
what's goin' on.
1523
01:11:49,635 --> 01:11:51,903
I know exactly
what's goin' on.
1524
01:12:00,479 --> 01:12:02,414
Nigga, you're illuminati.
I see you.
1525
01:12:02,448 --> 01:12:03,915
Enough of that.
1526
01:12:04,817 --> 01:12:07,952
- Thank you, Mr. Friday the 13th.
- It's Saturday.
1527
01:12:07,985 --> 01:12:09,388
Nigga,
this nigga Friday the 13th.
1528
01:12:09,421 --> 01:12:11,923
This nigga's... nigga!
All right, cool, cool.
1529
01:12:11,956 --> 01:12:13,192
You keep doing your thing.
1530
01:12:16,261 --> 01:12:18,130
That nigga's
on some Harry Potter shit.
1531
01:12:18,163 --> 01:12:20,232
It's cool, really. I know the nigga.
1532
01:13:02,374 --> 01:13:05,009
This motherfucker lit!
1533
01:13:05,043 --> 01:13:07,479
They know
how to party here.
1534
01:13:07,513 --> 01:13:10,149
We gotta find Allie.
1535
01:13:10,182 --> 01:13:11,550
Damn, man,
I'm staying right here.
1536
01:13:11,583 --> 01:13:13,419
I think I feel good
right here.
1537
01:13:22,060 --> 01:13:24,496
Cronut!
Go that way.
1538
01:13:36,074 --> 01:13:39,344
...with three people dragging someone.
1539
01:13:39,378 --> 01:13:41,447
- Neighborhood, somebody.
- Harrison.
1540
01:13:41,480 --> 01:13:43,682
- This is Harrison.
- Do you guys need a backup unit?
1541
01:13:43,715 --> 01:13:45,517
No, I'm good,
Captain. I mean,
1542
01:13:45,551 --> 01:13:47,319
this shit making me a little
nervous for real, man.
1543
01:13:47,352 --> 01:13:49,321
I mean, we back down
to this spooky-ass house.
1544
01:13:49,354 --> 01:13:51,290
We just left here a
couple of days ago.
1545
01:13:51,323 --> 01:13:53,024
Listen, I don't want
to be no cop.
1546
01:13:53,058 --> 01:13:55,093
I just thought pieces of shit
dropped-dropped big time.
1547
01:13:55,127 --> 01:13:56,695
Man. My man is
shitting on himself.
1548
01:13:56,728 --> 01:13:58,530
This shit is spooky
out here, Captain.
1549
01:13:58,564 --> 01:14:01,233
I mean, shit,
there's all kinds of noises out here
1550
01:14:01,266 --> 01:14:03,635
and fucking some...
some wind and shit. Can y'all...
1551
01:14:03,669 --> 01:14:05,137
I don't got the heart
for this.
1552
01:14:05,170 --> 01:14:06,305
Harrison,
is everything okay?
1553
01:14:06,338 --> 01:14:08,106
What's wrong?
You're supposed to be...
1554
01:14:08,140 --> 01:14:10,007
You're supposed to be hard.
You're acting scared.
1555
01:14:10,042 --> 01:14:12,110
- What's wrong? Harry, what's wrong?
- Harrison.
1556
01:14:12,144 --> 01:14:14,112
I thought you had all the tricks
and now you're acting like a bitch.
1557
01:14:14,146 --> 01:14:15,581
Harrison.
1558
01:14:19,351 --> 01:14:21,420
A bite of crime
'bout to bite you, nigga.
1559
01:14:37,636 --> 01:14:41,206
I'm not a vampire.
My name's Allie, Allie Black.
1560
01:14:41,240 --> 01:14:42,741
I live next door.
1561
01:14:42,774 --> 01:14:46,812
If you could just get me
out of this, it would...
1562
01:14:46,845 --> 01:14:48,614
Okay. Look, my... my...
1563
01:14:48,647 --> 01:14:52,818
Can you ask Dr.Mama-tunday-wanday
to come here?
1564
01:14:52,851 --> 01:14:56,355
Damn.
1565
01:15:04,496 --> 01:15:07,099
What the fuck was that?
1566
01:15:09,234 --> 01:15:11,403
Shut up.
1567
01:15:13,605 --> 01:15:16,108
Don't talk.
1568
01:15:16,141 --> 01:15:17,676
What the fuck is
your problem? Shut up.
1569
01:15:21,547 --> 01:15:25,651
Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Hey.
1570
01:15:55,480 --> 01:15:58,216
- What?
- That was a silver metal nigga.
1571
01:15:58,250 --> 01:16:00,586
Oh, God.
A silver metal nigga?
1572
01:16:00,619 --> 01:16:02,454
Silver metal.
Not a regular nigga.
1573
01:16:02,487 --> 01:16:03,822
Metal nigga?
1574
01:16:03,855 --> 01:16:06,224
There are more of them niggas around.
Trust me.
1575
01:16:09,328 --> 01:16:10,796
- Oh, shit.
- Whoo-whoo.
1576
01:16:11,930 --> 01:16:13,365
Oh, God.
1577
01:16:14,900 --> 01:16:16,535
Please don't hurt me.
1578
01:16:18,403 --> 01:16:20,672
Please, Mr. knight
in big, black armor.
1579
01:16:20,706 --> 01:16:22,341
- Oooh.
- Oh, my God.
1580
01:16:22,374 --> 01:16:24,743
Oh, my God.
1581
01:16:24,776 --> 01:16:28,814
- Shh.
- Mmm.
1582
01:16:28,847 --> 01:16:30,415
- It's Cronut, baby!
- What?!
1583
01:16:30,449 --> 01:16:32,651
- I got you, didn't I?
- Cronut... Cronut...
1584
01:16:32,684 --> 01:16:34,252
- You didn't even know it was me, did you?
- Cronut! Get me out of here.
1585
01:16:34,286 --> 01:16:35,787
- You gotta untie me out, please.
- Yeah.
1586
01:16:35,821 --> 01:16:37,789
You're as fine
as a motherfucker.
1587
01:16:37,823 --> 01:16:39,625
- When did you grow up?
- Cronut, shut... Shut the fuck up!
1588
01:16:39,658 --> 01:16:41,560
If you like it, we second cousins,
we ain't no kin, so we can...
1589
01:16:41,593 --> 01:16:44,196
Are you serious right now?
Shut the fuck up. I'm gonna tell Daddy.
1590
01:16:44,229 --> 01:16:46,398
Oh, shit, man.
1591
01:16:46,431 --> 01:16:48,867
Now I know why
the vampire wanted her.
1592
01:16:48,900 --> 01:16:52,738
Oh, hell no!
That's my baby.
1593
01:16:53,972 --> 01:16:58,677
Baby, please wake up.
Wake up, baby. Oh...
1594
01:16:58,710 --> 01:17:00,712
God.
1595
01:17:00,746 --> 01:17:01,913
- Get your damn hands off! Don't touch my lady!
- Jesus, fuck.
1596
01:17:01,947 --> 01:17:03,515
He's in there,
trying to kill us.
1597
01:17:03,548 --> 01:17:05,250
What the fuck is you
in this shit for
1598
01:17:05,283 --> 01:17:06,818
- in the first place?
- I was trying to escape.
1599
01:17:06,852 --> 01:17:08,420
I was going with Freezee.
1600
01:17:08,453 --> 01:17:09,655
That's what getting
hot in the ass get you.
1601
01:17:09,688 --> 01:17:10,789
Hurry up and get me
the fuck out of here.
1602
01:17:14,493 --> 01:17:15,594
All right. Let's go.
1603
01:17:15,627 --> 01:17:17,362
- What? Oh, oh!
- My feet.
1604
01:17:17,396 --> 01:17:18,897
I was going with Freezee and
I don't even know where he is.
1605
01:17:18,930 --> 01:17:20,499
Yeah, there it is,
right...
1606
01:17:20,532 --> 01:17:21,733
- Stop looking at me.
- Shut the fuck... shh.
1607
01:17:21,767 --> 01:17:25,771
Please come back
to life.
1608
01:17:25,804 --> 01:17:28,974
Please, baby, I want
some of that pussy again.
1609
01:17:29,007 --> 01:17:31,643
I mean, I love you again.
I swear I love you.
1610
01:17:35,280 --> 01:17:36,548
Carl? Carl?
1611
01:17:37,749 --> 01:17:39,484
Jesus Christ,
what happened?
1612
01:17:39,518 --> 01:17:41,253
I had the worst dream.
1613
01:17:41,286 --> 01:17:42,554
What did he do to you?
1614
01:17:42,587 --> 01:17:47,292
I was, uh,
I was trying to bite you.
1615
01:17:47,325 --> 01:17:48,894
Carl, what's in my mouth?
1616
01:17:48,927 --> 01:17:50,262
You look like Blac Chyna.
1617
01:17:50,295 --> 01:17:51,830
Oh, stop.
What's in my mouth?
1618
01:17:51,863 --> 01:17:53,932
I don't know,
but I don't want no head no more.
1619
01:17:53,965 --> 01:17:55,434
What is this, Carl?
What is this?
1620
01:17:55,467 --> 01:17:57,536
It look like a pimple
on the mouth.
1621
01:18:01,339 --> 01:18:02,741
Where is Daddy at?
Where is everybody?
1622
01:18:02,774 --> 01:18:04,376
They right here looking
for your stupid ass.
1623
01:18:04,409 --> 01:18:05,544
But how we gonna get them?
1624
01:18:05,577 --> 01:18:06,678
All right. This is
what we're gonna do.
1625
01:18:06,712 --> 01:18:08,613
All right.
This me, this you.
1626
01:18:08,647 --> 01:18:10,248
- When I'm gonna say "hike," you're gonna throw the ball...
- Right.
1627
01:18:10,282 --> 01:18:11,717
Nah, I don't like that play.
1628
01:18:11,750 --> 01:18:13,919
This is what we gon'
do, ten yards cut...
1629
01:18:13,952 --> 01:18:15,821
- Are you playing football?
- You-you want to get out of here or not?
1630
01:18:15,854 --> 01:18:17,789
- It doesn't work! Shut the fuck up.
- Just let's go.
1631
01:18:29,367 --> 01:18:31,803
- No.
- Calm down. No.
1632
01:18:31,837 --> 01:18:33,305
Don't you do
your neck like that.
1633
01:18:33,338 --> 01:18:34,873
Calm down.
1634
01:18:37,476 --> 01:18:39,311
- Calm the fuck down.
- Please, please.
1635
01:18:41,513 --> 01:18:45,317
No! Cronut, no!
1636
01:18:45,350 --> 01:18:46,852
Please.
1637
01:18:53,425 --> 01:18:56,361
Don't you do it,
don't you do it.
1638
01:18:56,394 --> 01:18:58,864
No...
1639
01:19:01,900 --> 01:19:03,502
Mayweather.
1640
01:19:03,535 --> 01:19:04,636
He gave it like that.
1641
01:19:06,638 --> 01:19:08,507
Yeah!
1642
01:19:20,786 --> 01:19:24,056
I'm a vampire slayer.
I'm like Blade.
1643
01:19:24,090 --> 01:19:25,557
- I did that.
- You did what?
1644
01:19:25,590 --> 01:19:27,559
- I killed him.
- No, I did that. I did...
1645
01:19:27,592 --> 01:19:28,894
- Really?
- I'm Blade. Yeah, yeah.
1646
01:19:31,663 --> 01:19:33,465
Let's go find your dad.
1647
01:19:33,498 --> 01:19:35,967
Carl, I don't feel well.
Tell me, where are we?
1648
01:19:36,001 --> 01:19:37,335
Lorena?
1649
01:19:38,637 --> 01:19:39,671
There he is!
1650
01:19:39,704 --> 01:19:40,705
Carl Black.
1651
01:19:41,773 --> 01:19:43,975
Release my beloved.
1652
01:19:44,009 --> 01:19:45,710
That's the nigga
next door.
1653
01:19:45,744 --> 01:19:47,712
You don't mess
with a man's wife!
1654
01:19:47,746 --> 01:19:49,381
That is our wife.
1655
01:19:49,414 --> 01:19:51,583
She is at least
on a time share.
1656
01:19:51,616 --> 01:19:53,785
I've been waiting
my whole life for you
1657
01:19:53,819 --> 01:19:59,058
to kill you, you punk-bitch,
little ass, dick-looking bitch.
1658
01:19:59,091 --> 01:20:01,626
You call him
a bitch? Come on.
1659
01:20:01,660 --> 01:20:04,063
We ain't finna be too many more bitches up
in here now. You better watch your mouth.
1660
01:20:04,096 --> 01:20:06,731
Listen here,
Black Baltimore Raven.
1661
01:20:06,765 --> 01:20:11,536
You will no longer
disparage my household.
1662
01:20:11,570 --> 01:20:12,771
Hit him
with that juice.
1663
01:20:16,842 --> 01:20:19,778
Hit him again. Damn,
let me see your shit.
1664
01:20:19,811 --> 01:20:22,013
Man, that's mango juice
you're throwing on that man.
1665
01:20:22,048 --> 01:20:23,648
Why this nigga
is not dying?
1666
01:20:23,682 --> 01:20:25,750
- Why?
- Oh, man. That's bullshit.
1667
01:20:25,784 --> 01:20:27,485
- What kind of nigga is this?
- Fuck you're gonna kill a vampire
1668
01:20:27,519 --> 01:20:29,788
with Visine, motherfucker?
1669
01:20:29,821 --> 01:20:30,922
Hit him
with that third one.
1670
01:20:30,956 --> 01:20:32,390
Punk bitch, die!
1671
01:20:33,925 --> 01:20:36,394
This nigga is not dying.
Back up.
1672
01:20:36,428 --> 01:20:38,097
Thank you, ladies.
1673
01:20:38,130 --> 01:20:39,865
- Whoa.
- Daddy.
1674
01:20:39,898 --> 01:20:41,600
- Where you been?
- We've been looking for you.
1675
01:20:41,633 --> 01:20:44,103
- I saved Allie.
- No, I saved you.
1676
01:20:44,136 --> 01:20:46,038
Enough!
1677
01:20:48,006 --> 01:20:50,675
Look how you got my
woman's mouth looking, man.
1678
01:20:50,709 --> 01:20:54,012
I bring to you
from Africa, Egypt,
1679
01:20:54,046 --> 01:20:56,448
Denmark and Dayton.
1680
01:21:03,922 --> 01:21:05,423
That's Jodeci!
1681
01:21:09,061 --> 01:21:10,829
No!
1682
01:21:11,897 --> 01:21:15,533
I swear by the black hairs
of your chinny chin chin,
1683
01:21:15,567 --> 01:21:17,903
I will huff and puff
1684
01:21:17,936 --> 01:21:21,706
and these
demons will blow your house down.
1685
01:21:21,740 --> 01:21:23,642
What's up, y'all?
1686
01:21:23,675 --> 01:21:26,212
- Watch out... oh!
- Oh, shit!
1687
01:21:26,245 --> 01:21:27,712
What the hell are you
doing here?
1688
01:21:27,746 --> 01:21:29,148
Freezee,
1689
01:21:29,181 --> 01:21:30,649
what happened to you?
1690
01:21:30,682 --> 01:21:33,518
Vampire gang.
We out here, gang-gang!
1691
01:21:33,551 --> 01:21:35,087
They done hooked your boy up.
1692
01:21:35,121 --> 01:21:39,624
Half vampire, half goat
legs, full horse dick.
1693
01:21:39,658 --> 01:21:41,626
Donkey dick.
1694
01:21:43,062 --> 01:21:44,863
It's all backwards,
though.
1695
01:21:44,896 --> 01:21:46,698
Your ass
is forward, Freezee.
1696
01:21:46,731 --> 01:21:48,067
They done fuck me up
in the lab.
1697
01:21:48,100 --> 01:21:50,735
You're a hairy
retarded vampire.
1698
01:21:50,769 --> 01:21:52,537
- This ain't the life I chose.
- You fucked him up.
1699
01:21:52,570 --> 01:21:54,606
You fucked him up.
You fucked him up.
1700
01:21:54,639 --> 01:21:56,574
I appreciate it.
At least I can walk now.
1701
01:21:56,608 --> 01:21:59,178
Listen here,
Switchblade.
1702
01:21:59,211 --> 01:22:02,181
You already know
Black Lives Matter.
1703
01:22:02,214 --> 01:22:06,218
This is Black matter lives.
1704
01:22:07,686 --> 01:22:09,654
Welcome to the dark,
motherfucker.
1705
01:22:09,688 --> 01:22:11,556
Attack!
1706
01:22:11,589 --> 01:22:12,624
Come on. Come on.
Come on.
1707
01:22:44,656 --> 01:22:46,558
- You hit me in the nuts!
- I'm sorry.
1708
01:22:47,726 --> 01:22:49,228
I'm tired of your ass.
1709
01:22:53,965 --> 01:22:56,001
Let's go, bitch.
Let's go.
1710
01:23:02,874 --> 01:23:04,576
I got you!
1711
01:23:12,118 --> 01:23:15,854
- Yeah, bitch!
- Die slow! Die slow!
1712
01:23:15,887 --> 01:23:17,589
Carl!
Behind you!
1713
01:23:29,135 --> 01:23:30,036
Help her.
1714
01:23:35,107 --> 01:23:38,277
- I can't move my hand.
- I can't move mine.
1715
01:23:38,310 --> 01:23:40,612
I'm throwing up
gang signs.
1716
01:23:49,020 --> 01:23:51,090
Finally, Lorena.
1717
01:24:22,354 --> 01:24:25,757
Nigga is not dead yet.
I don't think he's dead.
1718
01:24:35,667 --> 01:24:37,036
Baby, he's not dead.
1719
01:24:40,172 --> 01:24:44,676
You know I'm coming now.
1720
01:24:46,911 --> 01:24:49,248
Go get the voodoo doll.
It's the only way to kill him.
1721
01:24:49,281 --> 01:24:51,616
- All right. Cool.
- Hurry.
1722
01:24:56,754 --> 01:24:58,290
Go lock the back door.
1723
01:24:58,324 --> 01:24:59,724
Get the doors locked.
Come on.
1724
01:24:59,757 --> 01:25:00,925
We can't kill him
without the voodoo doll!
1725
01:25:03,262 --> 01:25:05,264
Cronut, hurry up.
Hurry.
1726
01:25:06,831 --> 01:25:08,300
Hurry up, Cronut.
1727
01:25:10,169 --> 01:25:12,371
Wooky said this
will kill the vampire.
1728
01:25:12,404 --> 01:25:13,905
Is that it?
1729
01:25:13,938 --> 01:25:15,274
- Yeah.
- All right. Let's go.
1730
01:25:17,309 --> 01:25:18,710
Whoa! Shit!
1731
01:25:20,246 --> 01:25:22,081
Ah, shit!
1732
01:25:24,316 --> 01:25:27,018
Come on, come on. Oh, shit!
1733
01:25:27,052 --> 01:25:28,987
- Please. Please.
- Hey, hey, stop.
1734
01:25:29,020 --> 01:25:31,423
Please.
1735
01:25:33,192 --> 01:25:35,427
Shit!
1736
01:25:55,281 --> 01:25:56,814
Lorena.
1737
01:25:58,284 --> 01:26:00,952
Come to me, Lorena.
1738
01:26:00,985 --> 01:26:03,055
- Carl...
- What's wrong?
1739
01:26:03,088 --> 01:26:04,789
He's calling me.
1740
01:26:07,992 --> 01:26:09,961
You can kill me,
1741
01:26:09,994 --> 01:26:13,065
but you cannot make me die.
1742
01:26:23,042 --> 01:26:26,010
I will have what belongs to me.
1743
01:26:35,521 --> 01:26:37,755
I'm 'bout to go kill
Mamuwalde.
1744
01:26:37,789 --> 01:26:39,325
Okay.
1745
01:26:43,828 --> 01:26:45,331
Damn, Hugo.
1746
01:26:45,364 --> 01:26:46,898
Nobody calls me Hugo.
1747
01:26:48,033 --> 01:26:49,368
What do they call you then?
1748
01:26:49,401 --> 01:26:51,803
Filero.
1749
01:26:51,836 --> 01:26:54,106
And what's Filero?
1750
01:26:54,139 --> 01:26:57,243
It means blade
in Mexican.
1751
01:27:00,346 --> 01:27:01,913
Really?
1752
01:27:15,860 --> 01:27:17,396
Carl... no...
1753
01:27:19,231 --> 01:27:21,567
Where
do you think you're going?
1754
01:27:21,600 --> 01:27:23,369
What did you just do
to me?
1755
01:27:23,402 --> 01:27:25,070
Do you feel that?
1756
01:27:26,438 --> 01:27:27,905
I got the voodoo doll.
1757
01:27:27,939 --> 01:27:30,476
Break the voodoo doll.
1758
01:27:30,509 --> 01:27:32,877
- What?
- Break the voodoo doll!
1759
01:27:34,012 --> 01:27:35,080
Cronut!
1760
01:27:35,114 --> 01:27:37,283
Release your meaningless life.
1761
01:27:37,316 --> 01:27:39,451
Fuck out that...
1762
01:27:39,485 --> 01:27:41,853
I see we don't know what immortal means.
1763
01:27:41,886 --> 01:27:44,356
Break the doll, the voodoo doll.
1764
01:27:46,225 --> 01:27:47,526
- Break it!
- Break it!
1765
01:28:02,107 --> 01:28:05,077
- You motherfucker.
- Don't you touch me.
1766
01:28:09,448 --> 01:28:11,517
Come to me, Lorena.
1767
01:28:12,284 --> 01:28:15,421
- You better stop!
- Come this way.
1768
01:28:15,454 --> 01:28:17,855
Lorena, wake up!
1769
01:28:17,889 --> 01:28:19,358
Lorena.
1770
01:28:20,958 --> 01:28:23,429
Take your place with me.
1771
01:28:23,462 --> 01:28:25,264
Babe, don't do
this! Baby!
1772
01:28:25,297 --> 01:28:29,967
We are the Jay-Z and Beyoncé
of the underworld.
1773
01:28:31,670 --> 01:28:35,441
Complete my darkness.
1774
01:28:35,474 --> 01:28:38,644
Come with me.
There's not much time left.
1775
01:28:50,955 --> 01:28:53,258
You don't need him.
1776
01:28:53,292 --> 01:28:57,028
He doesn't have a job
and he can't write a book.
1777
01:29:07,706 --> 01:29:10,409
I got this new book
coming out. Terror Night.
1778
01:29:10,442 --> 01:29:12,111
Nigga! Ain't nobody
reading your book!
1779
01:29:12,144 --> 01:29:14,912
My book is in... in... in
Barnes and Noble's.
1780
01:29:14,946 --> 01:29:17,416
That book was terrible.
It's one of the worst books I ever read.
1781
01:29:17,449 --> 01:29:19,016
Carl, I'm not happy here.
1782
01:29:19,051 --> 01:29:20,419
I need the money, Dad.
1783
01:29:20,452 --> 01:29:22,287
Just... just leave.
Just leave. Go take a nap.
1784
01:29:22,321 --> 01:29:23,921
This ain't the time
for your goddamn book.
1785
01:29:25,057 --> 01:29:26,658
I don't know
if this is it for us.
1786
01:29:26,692 --> 01:29:29,561
I used to think it was the house,
the neighborhood, your book.
1787
01:29:32,398 --> 01:29:34,099
You need to realize
that family's
1788
01:29:34,133 --> 01:29:35,567
the most important thing
in life, not a book.
1789
01:29:37,102 --> 01:29:38,137
- I'm moving out.
- You're messing up.
1790
01:29:40,172 --> 01:29:43,007
It's you and I that don't work.
It's you.
1791
01:29:46,178 --> 01:29:48,447
Come to me now.
1792
01:29:53,218 --> 01:29:54,986
Carl Black,
save your wife.
1793
01:30:10,202 --> 01:30:14,239
Global warming is real.
1794
01:30:31,757 --> 01:30:35,327
Jack Mihoff,
ANN News Live with the Buzz.
1795
01:30:35,360 --> 01:30:37,629
So you've survived the Purge.
1796
01:30:37,663 --> 01:30:41,166
You and this ragtag
band of pimps, hoes...
1797
01:30:41,200 --> 01:30:42,534
- No, that's my family.
- Sorry, what?!
1798
01:30:42,568 --> 01:30:44,203
No. It wasn't no pimps
and hoes over here.
1799
01:30:44,236 --> 01:30:46,003
You defeated the vampire.
1800
01:30:46,038 --> 01:30:48,173
Saved the whole
entire neighborhood.
1801
01:30:48,207 --> 01:30:51,410
Have you, Black Panther,
Chloe, and Bow-Wow
1802
01:30:51,443 --> 01:30:55,012
ever thought about becoming
the new Black Ghostbusters?
1803
01:30:58,183 --> 01:31:00,786
- Hunting ghosts?
- Hunting ghosts? I mean...
1804
01:31:00,819 --> 01:31:02,287
You don't have
to answer that, Carl.
1805
01:31:02,321 --> 01:31:04,189
It's a good idea.
We could make money.
1806
01:31:04,223 --> 01:31:05,491
Let's wait,
let's wait.
1807
01:31:05,524 --> 01:31:07,726
Don't be a bitch.
Let's make this money, Carl.
1808
01:31:07,759 --> 01:31:10,362
Yes. Don't be a bitch.
Make the money.
1809
01:31:10,395 --> 01:31:12,164
And what the fuck
did you do?
1810
01:31:12,197 --> 01:31:13,732
- Look at me.
- We could make money, Carl.
1811
01:31:13,765 --> 01:31:16,034
- Get the money, Carl.
- Carl, let's do it.
1812
01:31:16,068 --> 01:31:18,070
- I'm gonna make money.
- Yeah. Why-why not?
1813
01:31:18,103 --> 01:31:19,671
One more question.
Handicapped white man,
1814
01:31:19,705 --> 01:31:22,741
is it true that your first
experience with vampires
1815
01:31:22,774 --> 01:31:26,345
was in the jungle in Hanoi
where your troop was ambushed,
1816
01:31:26,378 --> 01:31:30,782
you were ravaged,
and your legs were completely destroyed?
1817
01:31:30,816 --> 01:31:33,185
Fuck you, Sammy Sosa.
1818
01:31:33,218 --> 01:31:34,720
One thing I hate
about this neighborhood...
1819
01:31:34,753 --> 01:31:36,588
all the goddamn vampires.
1820
01:31:36,622 --> 01:31:39,591
Well, we would just
like to thank you
1821
01:31:39,625 --> 01:31:41,793
for your service
to this country and make...
1822
01:31:41,827 --> 01:31:43,395
Oh, my Lord!
1823
01:31:43,428 --> 01:31:44,763
His hands are strong,
but his legs are dead.
1824
01:31:44,796 --> 01:31:46,532
Come on. Come on.
Let his hand. Let his hand.
1825
01:31:46,565 --> 01:31:48,400
Get off me, Carl!
Your wife's cheating on you!
1826
01:31:48,433 --> 01:31:49,635
- What are you talking about?
- What?
1827
01:31:49,668 --> 01:31:50,802
- I see everything!
- Shut up!
1828
01:31:50,836 --> 01:31:52,771
- Cronut's gay.
- No, I'm not.
1829
01:31:52,804 --> 01:31:54,139
That don't count in jail.
1830
01:31:54,172 --> 01:31:55,340
That's not even
your daughter!
1831
01:31:55,374 --> 01:31:57,743
- Uh-uh.
- No. I'm sick of this.
1832
01:31:57,776 --> 01:31:59,778
Yeah. I'm sick of you.
1833
01:31:59,811 --> 01:32:02,047
Come on, Carl.
1834
01:32:04,816 --> 01:32:06,552
Are you ready?
1835
01:32:06,585 --> 01:32:08,787
Give me one second,
baby. I'm coming.
1836
01:32:08,820 --> 01:32:10,455
Lord knows I'm coming.
1837
01:32:10,489 --> 01:32:13,792
I know you happy you ain't
with Clive no more.
1838
01:32:13,825 --> 01:32:16,261
- But what's taking you so long?
- You're rushing me, babe.
1839
01:32:16,295 --> 01:32:18,630
You ain't rush Clive.
I know you waited for his ass.
1840
01:32:18,664 --> 01:32:21,300
Just calm down.
You gon' get this dick.
1841
01:32:21,333 --> 01:32:23,101
Gonna drop some
good dick on you.
1842
01:32:23,135 --> 01:32:24,603
Well, hurry.
1843
01:32:24,636 --> 01:32:26,338
- Oh.
- Yeah.
1844
01:32:26,371 --> 01:32:28,473
Yeah.
1845
01:32:28,507 --> 01:32:33,445
You see it.
You see it. Yeah.
1846
01:32:33,478 --> 01:32:35,547
Say you're ready for me
to draw some dick O's.
1847
01:32:38,450 --> 01:32:41,186
Yeah. Yeah. Oh-oh.
1848
01:32:41,219 --> 01:32:43,255
That's it?
1849
01:32:43,288 --> 01:32:45,257
You're kidding.
1850
01:32:45,290 --> 01:32:47,826
Wait. I-I...
damn, this was a long song.
1851
01:32:47,859 --> 01:32:49,361
- Wow.
- You did good. No, no, no.
1852
01:32:49,394 --> 01:32:51,363
What you wowing for?
1853
01:32:52,931 --> 01:32:56,868
Who knocked it down, nigga?
1854
01:32:56,902 --> 01:32:59,171
Bitch ass!
1855
01:34:26,658 --> 01:34:31,430
This is Jack Mihoff
with today's latest buzz.
1856
01:34:31,463 --> 01:34:34,633
There has been reports
of a ragtag band
1857
01:34:34,666 --> 01:34:38,870
of Negro thug
vigilantes and a Mexican.
1858
01:34:38,904 --> 01:34:42,908
Reports have been stated that
they are calling themselves
1859
01:34:42,941 --> 01:34:45,711
the Ghetto Ghostbusters,
1860
01:34:45,744 --> 01:34:49,314
and they are out
for street vengeance.
142903
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