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1
00:00:33,026 --> 00:00:35,828
So, stick with me here.
2
00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:38,798
I know y'all came to see
a comedy about the Blacks,
3
00:00:38,831 --> 00:00:41,600
everyone's favorite family
with the perfect daughter
4
00:00:41,634 --> 00:00:43,903
that somehow survived
Terror Night.
5
00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:49,008
You didn't sign up to see
some Egyptians open an evil box
6
00:00:49,042 --> 00:00:52,312
and a bat flap his ass
across an Indiana Jones map.
7
00:00:52,345 --> 00:00:56,015
Trust me,
it'll all make sense later.
8
00:00:56,049 --> 00:00:57,750
Well, since we last met,
9
00:00:57,783 --> 00:01:00,187
Dad wrote a bestseller
based on Terror Night.
10
00:01:00,220 --> 00:01:02,189
But then Dad and Cronut
blew that money
11
00:01:02,222 --> 00:01:04,857
faster than a rapper
at a strip club.
12
00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:08,028
We're back in Atlanta.
13
00:01:08,061 --> 00:01:09,829
And Dad's writin' the sequel,
14
00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:12,199
and we were just getting used
to being back home
15
00:01:12,232 --> 00:01:15,701
when this very bat
flew into our lives.
16
00:01:15,734 --> 00:01:17,803
Seriously, pray for us, y'all.
17
00:02:05,252 --> 00:02:07,187
We're back
on the GGN News Network.
18
00:02:07,220 --> 00:02:09,955
I'm your host with the most,
Finding Nemo, aka Nemo Hoser.
19
00:02:09,989 --> 00:02:12,292
Today on my show,
I got a very special guest,
20
00:02:12,325 --> 00:02:16,829
the one and only, the author Carl
Black in the motherfucking house.
21
00:02:16,862 --> 00:02:18,165
Mr. Black,
what's happening?
22
00:02:18,198 --> 00:02:19,932
Snoop!
How are you, man?
23
00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:21,700
I'm good, Carl.
How you doin' today, brother?
24
00:02:21,734 --> 00:02:23,002
I'm excited, man.
25
00:02:23,036 --> 00:02:24,770
I got this new book
coming out.
26
00:02:24,803 --> 00:02:27,140
It's called Terror Night.
Mm. I wrote it.
27
00:02:27,174 --> 00:02:28,141
It's from my heart.
28
00:02:28,175 --> 00:02:29,476
This is my baby.
29
00:02:29,509 --> 00:02:31,344
What makes this book
a great read
30
00:02:31,378 --> 00:02:33,246
for the average nigga
sitting at home doing nothing?
31
00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:37,417
You know, most Black people
know about terror.
32
00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:39,119
Mr. Black, I'm forced
to tell you the truth.
33
00:02:39,152 --> 00:02:41,288
It is an easy read.
Real easy.
34
00:02:41,321 --> 00:02:42,955
What you mean by that?
35
00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:45,425
"There was
a Black man that..."
36
00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:47,194
That's bullshit, Snoop.
37
00:02:47,227 --> 00:02:48,894
Go get my book.
It's called Terror Night.
38
00:02:51,064 --> 00:02:52,765
All right. All right. All right.
That's enough Terror Night.
39
00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:54,334
All right. All right.
All right. Thank you.
40
00:02:54,367 --> 00:02:56,336
Now we got a real guest
coming up on the show.
41
00:02:56,369 --> 00:02:58,438
Make some noise for the
one and only Matt Barnes.
42
00:02:58,471 --> 00:03:00,340
Snoop, what's going on, man?
Thanks for having me.
43
00:03:00,373 --> 00:03:01,774
Matt!
44
00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:03,410
- Who's that?
- Terror Night.
45
00:03:03,443 --> 00:03:05,978
- Ah, this is Carl Black.
- This book is j... Carl Black, man.
46
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:07,947
You know me.
I wrote Terror Night.
47
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,449
- You read that book?
- The book is crazy.
48
00:03:09,482 --> 00:03:11,051
You're gonna love it,
man. And...
49
00:03:11,084 --> 00:03:12,419
That book was terrible.
50
00:03:12,452 --> 00:03:14,753
One of the worst books
I ever read.
51
00:03:14,787 --> 00:03:16,356
You must be havin' a bad day today.
It's a good book, man.
52
00:03:16,389 --> 00:03:18,091
- Nah. It's just a bad book.
- Hey, you should...
53
00:03:18,124 --> 00:03:20,160
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you and that book.
54
00:03:20,193 --> 00:03:22,329
I'm gonna get the fucking fuck.
55
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,098
That nigga's excited.
56
00:03:41,214 --> 00:03:43,849
Okay.
Just don't. Here.
57
00:04:08,575 --> 00:04:09,476
Hey.
58
00:04:10,843 --> 00:04:11,844
Hey!
59
00:04:13,446 --> 00:04:15,181
Hey!
60
00:04:15,215 --> 00:04:16,449
What are you doin'?
61
00:04:16,483 --> 00:04:18,218
We're practicing
for the Migos' tour.
62
00:04:18,251 --> 00:04:20,053
The streets need us.
63
00:04:20,086 --> 00:04:21,454
The streets
don't need yo ass.
64
00:04:21,488 --> 00:04:24,124
And stop makin'
all that damn noise.
65
00:04:24,157 --> 00:04:25,924
- Frickin' old guys!
- And stop playing!
66
00:04:25,958 --> 00:04:26,992
Again from the top.
Ready?
67
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,230
I'm gonna kick your ass.
68
00:04:30,263 --> 00:04:32,098
Give me the phone!
Cut if off!
69
00:04:32,132 --> 00:04:34,334
- Dad, come on.
- Cut it off! I'm trying to write.
70
00:04:34,367 --> 00:04:36,269
You messed it up again! I bet...
71
00:04:38,538 --> 00:04:39,872
Go.
72
00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:41,541
Daddy, get out!
73
00:04:41,574 --> 00:04:43,343
- Out.
- Hey! Girl, you better stop throwin' shit.
74
00:04:43,376 --> 00:04:45,878
- Go! Shut up!
- I peed in that bed last night.
75
00:04:56,955 --> 00:04:58,924
You know,
I didn't escape the Purge
76
00:04:58,957 --> 00:05:02,062
so somebody would be breakin'
in my fuckin' house!
77
00:05:14,674 --> 00:05:18,578
Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Man, come on, bro.
78
00:05:18,611 --> 00:05:21,247
- What's wrong with you?
- Come on, bro.
79
00:05:21,281 --> 00:05:24,150
- Goddamn!
- What's wrong with you?
80
00:05:24,184 --> 00:05:26,186
Goddamn.
Why are you so jumpy?
81
00:05:26,219 --> 00:05:28,921
Yeah, 'cause maybe somebody tried to
break in my house and kill me before.
82
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,956
What you doin' creepin' around
my house this late at night?
83
00:05:30,989 --> 00:05:33,293
The lights in the RV went out.
I had to get some flashlights.
84
00:05:33,326 --> 00:05:35,462
- Some flashlights?
- Not just flashlight.
85
00:05:35,495 --> 00:05:37,397
Purge lights!
You feel me?
86
00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:39,399
You know about these.
Did I tell you about 'em?
87
00:05:39,432 --> 00:05:41,468
You don't need no battery.
That means you crank it right up.
88
00:05:41,501 --> 00:05:43,103
- Just like this.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, man.
89
00:05:43,136 --> 00:05:44,404
- What? What?
- Hey, hey.
90
00:05:44,437 --> 00:05:47,005
Get rid of that janky shit!
Stop orderin' it.
91
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,109
Y'all run around here ballin'
and spendin' money,
92
00:05:49,142 --> 00:05:51,511
leavin' the lights on,
runnin' water,
93
00:05:51,544 --> 00:05:53,979
like there's money
growin' on the tree.
94
00:05:54,012 --> 00:05:56,282
- I don't have no more money.
- 'Cause you ain't selling no goddamn books.
95
00:05:56,316 --> 00:05:59,252
If you sell some goddamn books,
we can goddamn sell these bitches.
96
00:05:59,285 --> 00:06:02,422
- And why're you broke? Huh?
- Get your ass out of here.
97
00:06:02,455 --> 00:06:03,556
Hey, man.
What the fuck, man?
98
00:06:03,590 --> 00:06:06,326
Stop holding me
like a side bitch.
99
00:06:06,359 --> 00:06:08,428
- What's you tripping off of?
- This is the reason right here.
100
00:06:08,461 --> 00:06:12,198
'Cause I can't imagine
why I let you talk me
101
00:06:12,232 --> 00:06:14,234
into spending
my money on this shit.
102
00:06:14,267 --> 00:06:15,934
It's all part
of the business plan, cuz.
103
00:06:15,968 --> 00:06:17,570
No, no, no.
The business plan
104
00:06:17,604 --> 00:06:19,239
is the reason why
Lorena is out
105
00:06:19,272 --> 00:06:22,175
busting her ass
to wipe my old ass.
106
00:06:22,208 --> 00:06:23,576
Don't nobody want
to hear about me
107
00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:25,612
moving back
into my old neighborhood
108
00:06:25,645 --> 00:06:28,013
while my cousin livin' in an RV
in the back of my house.
109
00:06:30,116 --> 00:06:32,218
What the fuck
is going on over there, man?
110
00:06:32,252 --> 00:06:34,087
Some crackheads.
111
00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:35,522
Next door at the old
Marsten house.
112
00:06:35,555 --> 00:06:37,657
They must be squattin'
or somethin'.
113
00:06:37,690 --> 00:06:39,192
- Don't forget the...
- Nah. They live there.
114
00:06:39,225 --> 00:06:41,428
I seen 'em move in,
but the crazy part is
115
00:06:41,461 --> 00:06:43,663
all the windows are boarded.
116
00:06:43,696 --> 00:06:46,199
They only come out
at nighttime.
117
00:06:46,232 --> 00:06:48,201
Yeah. Who would move
in a place
118
00:06:48,234 --> 00:06:50,203
with a house that's boarded up like that?
119
00:06:50,236 --> 00:06:51,571
And when did they move in?
120
00:06:51,604 --> 00:06:53,206
Yeah. They got in
like a week ago.
121
00:06:53,239 --> 00:06:54,674
- What the fuck?
- Snitch, Snitch,
122
00:06:54,707 --> 00:06:56,509
- where you at?
- Yeah. I watched 'em do it.
123
00:06:56,543 --> 00:06:58,578
They moved in, man.
124
00:06:58,611 --> 00:07:00,647
I see everything.
125
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:03,383
I know you with the neighborhood
watch and everything, but man...
126
00:07:03,416 --> 00:07:05,452
it's getting
a little creepy, man.
127
00:07:05,485 --> 00:07:07,620
All right, ladies, in we go. Your coupe is here.
128
00:07:07,654 --> 00:07:09,522
- Did you hear that?
- Shhh...
129
00:07:09,556 --> 00:07:11,157
That's some crazy shit.
130
00:07:18,598 --> 00:07:22,202
Somethin' strange
goin' on in that house.
131
00:07:29,609 --> 00:07:30,743
I'm gone.
132
00:07:41,054 --> 00:07:44,257
You will be mine...
133
00:07:44,290 --> 00:07:46,359
unconditionally.
134
00:07:55,768 --> 00:07:58,404
Baby, I think some new people
just moved in next door.
135
00:07:58,438 --> 00:08:01,374
Oh, baby. Leave
those people alone, babe.
136
00:08:01,407 --> 00:08:03,576
Go back to sleep.
137
00:08:21,327 --> 00:08:23,196
This refrigerator's filthy!
138
00:08:25,164 --> 00:08:27,233
- Appreciate shit.
- Ahem.
139
00:08:28,368 --> 00:08:29,836
What are you doing
here, Cronut?
140
00:08:29,869 --> 00:08:31,471
I had to get some milk
for my cereal.
141
00:08:31,504 --> 00:08:33,706
I ran out in the RV.
142
00:08:33,740 --> 00:08:35,642
The door's locked
for a reason.
143
00:08:35,675 --> 00:08:37,210
Who messed up that damn toilet?
144
00:08:37,243 --> 00:08:39,145
Hey, what the fuck
you doin' in here?
145
00:08:39,178 --> 00:08:40,813
Eating breakfast.
What it look like I'm doin'?
146
00:08:40,847 --> 00:08:42,382
You ain't supposed
to be here in the mornings.
147
00:08:42,415 --> 00:08:43,716
You told me I could
come in on Tuesdays.
148
00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:45,084
I'm about sick of your shit.
149
00:08:45,118 --> 00:08:47,120
It's light wheat.
150
00:08:47,153 --> 00:08:48,821
Stay out of the toilet.
151
00:08:48,855 --> 00:08:50,757
You know there's a serial
killer living next door.
152
00:08:50,790 --> 00:08:53,126
God, this boy run
his damn mouth too much.
153
00:08:53,159 --> 00:08:56,229
Hey, Carl, Carl.
Check this shit out, bro.
154
00:08:56,262 --> 00:08:58,164
...the death of Chante Webster.
155
00:08:58,197 --> 00:09:01,501
Her badly mutilated corpse
was found inside a dumpster
156
00:09:01,534 --> 00:09:05,638
behind Gus's Chicken and
Waffles on Indian Hill Road.
157
00:09:05,672 --> 00:09:07,340
They found that body
right around the corner.
158
00:09:07,373 --> 00:09:09,108
This is the sixth incident
159
00:09:09,142 --> 00:09:12,178
in a vicious string
of kidnapping and murders,
160
00:09:12,211 --> 00:09:16,616
all of which were either
African-American or Mexican.
161
00:09:16,649 --> 00:09:19,352
Racially motivated?
Perhaps.
162
00:09:19,385 --> 00:09:22,255
This is exactly why we need to
move out of this neighborhood.
163
00:09:22,288 --> 00:09:24,257
- Move? Again?
- Yes, move.
164
00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:26,159
And when we say "move,"
165
00:09:26,192 --> 00:09:28,528
- that means us.
- Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
166
00:09:28,561 --> 00:09:30,363
Uh, hey... hey.
No thinkin' for you, okay?
167
00:09:30,396 --> 00:09:31,764
What about what we saw
last night?
168
00:09:31,798 --> 00:09:33,800
Okay, I don't have time
for this, Carl.
169
00:09:33,833 --> 00:09:36,235
I got to go to work.
I'm going to be working a double tonight,
170
00:09:36,269 --> 00:09:37,670
so you're on your own
for dinner.
171
00:09:37,704 --> 00:09:40,573
What about what we seen
with the neighbors, bro?
172
00:09:42,709 --> 00:09:44,143
You better do what she say.
173
00:09:44,177 --> 00:09:45,278
Fuck you up.
174
00:09:45,311 --> 00:09:46,779
She payin' the bills
around here.
175
00:09:46,813 --> 00:09:49,716
Hey, babe. Don't pay
no attention to Cronut.
176
00:09:49,749 --> 00:09:51,417
He's just a dumbass.
177
00:09:51,451 --> 00:09:53,453
He's a neglected Chihuahua.
178
00:09:53,486 --> 00:09:55,188
Carl, I'm not happy here.
179
00:09:55,221 --> 00:09:57,423
- Listen...
- This was supposed to be temporary, Carl.
180
00:09:57,457 --> 00:09:59,425
We were supposed
to be here until you got
181
00:09:59,459 --> 00:10:00,760
- your money going.
- Money.
182
00:10:00,793 --> 00:10:03,496
- You wrote your book.
- It's gonna work.
183
00:10:03,529 --> 00:10:05,832
That developer came
around again other day.
184
00:10:05,865 --> 00:10:09,235
He can make us a really good
offer on your mom's house.
185
00:10:09,268 --> 00:10:11,270
We can move
to a safer place.
186
00:10:11,304 --> 00:10:14,374
I can be happy.
Happy wife, happy what?
187
00:10:14,407 --> 00:10:16,542
- Happy wife.
- Happy life.
188
00:10:16,576 --> 00:10:18,678
The guy's a fuckin'
vulture. Okay?
189
00:10:18,711 --> 00:10:20,480
He wants to move
in this neighborhood
190
00:10:20,513 --> 00:10:23,249
so he can take it over and turn
it into a fuckin' strip mall.
191
00:10:23,282 --> 00:10:25,418
Do you understand
what I'm sayin'? Okay?
192
00:10:25,451 --> 00:10:27,220
It's called...
it's called gingivitis.
193
00:10:27,253 --> 00:10:28,621
Gentrification!
194
00:10:28,655 --> 00:10:29,656
Shut up, Cronut!
195
00:10:29,689 --> 00:10:31,791
Stupid dumbass nigga.
196
00:10:31,824 --> 00:10:33,893
Once we move out of here, who cares
what they do to the neighborhood?
197
00:10:33,926 --> 00:10:36,896
Just promise me that today you're
going to look at this and consider it.
198
00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:38,698
I'm... I'm gonna
think about it.
199
00:10:38,731 --> 00:10:40,600
I appreciate it.
200
00:10:40,633 --> 00:10:44,203
Up next, I survived
a hammer to the head
201
00:10:44,237 --> 00:10:46,706
and a boot to the face.
202
00:10:46,739 --> 00:10:48,841
Somethin' fucked-up went
down in that house last night.
203
00:10:48,875 --> 00:10:50,243
You think that was
a dead body?
204
00:10:50,276 --> 00:10:52,311
Would you stop?
It's already hard enough
205
00:10:52,345 --> 00:10:54,781
you got all this crazy
shit in my wife's head.
206
00:10:54,814 --> 00:10:57,917
And no!
I did not see a body.
207
00:10:57,950 --> 00:11:00,653
I think my first instinct is
like, there's dead body in there.
208
00:11:00,687 --> 00:11:03,356
But... Oh, there's a nice
one over there.
209
00:11:16,636 --> 00:11:17,637
No.
210
00:11:21,708 --> 00:11:23,476
Hey, hey, hey! No!
211
00:11:23,509 --> 00:11:25,344
Why you cock-blocking?
She need me.
212
00:11:25,378 --> 00:11:27,246
This could be
my old lady, man.
213
00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,716
- She's already married.
- You know I've been in the penitentiary.
214
00:11:29,749 --> 00:11:31,384
- Let me just live, brother.
- Okay.
215
00:11:31,417 --> 00:11:33,786
You've been to prison
two years ago for 10 days
216
00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:35,388
for drinkin' and drivin'.
217
00:11:35,421 --> 00:11:37,423
And you're
a "gangster drinker."
218
00:11:37,457 --> 00:11:39,559
I'm just gonna go over there and just...
just rap a tad to her.
219
00:11:39,592 --> 00:11:40,993
- I'm gonna go. What's up, baby?
- Cronut.
220
00:11:42,862 --> 00:11:45,932
He about to shoot that
midget sperm in that girl.
221
00:11:45,965 --> 00:11:47,834
Bunny! Shit.
222
00:11:47,867 --> 00:11:49,936
Baby, I told you,
you got to get a new wheelchair.
223
00:11:49,969 --> 00:11:51,571
- You got new wheelchair money?
- Ugh!
224
00:11:53,005 --> 00:11:54,640
- I'm sorry, Bunny.
- It's okay.
225
00:11:54,674 --> 00:11:56,275
I didn't mean
to snap at you.
226
00:11:56,309 --> 00:11:57,777
If my penis worked,
I'd make love to you right now.
227
00:11:57,810 --> 00:11:59,612
- I'd hit it from the back.
- I know you would.
228
00:11:59,645 --> 00:12:01,848
Marky Mark style
from Boogie Nights.
229
00:12:01,881 --> 00:12:03,916
Hey! Stay off
my property!
230
00:12:03,950 --> 00:12:05,451
What's up, Clive?
231
00:12:05,485 --> 00:12:06,786
Shouldn't you be makin' up
some bullshit
232
00:12:06,819 --> 00:12:08,454
or whatever else you
do you call work?
233
00:12:09,522 --> 00:12:12,692
You know my husband don't like
you guys comin' over here.
234
00:12:12,725 --> 00:12:13,960
But I like seein' you guys.
235
00:12:13,993 --> 00:12:15,528
What you been up to?
236
00:12:15,561 --> 00:12:16,963
You been rollin' around
this neighborhood
237
00:12:16,996 --> 00:12:19,866
or you just being
kickin' it around?
238
00:12:19,899 --> 00:12:22,001
- Funny, motherfucker!
- Kickin' it!
239
00:12:22,035 --> 00:12:24,403
What are you doing,
writin' your next bestseller?
240
00:12:24,437 --> 00:12:26,873
Who're you trying to be?
New Alex Haley?
241
00:12:26,906 --> 00:12:30,743
Steve Harvey? You gonna try
to make a book into a movie?
242
00:12:30,777 --> 00:12:32,745
You see Think Like a Man?
Think Like a Man 2?
243
00:12:32,779 --> 00:12:33,679
Sucked!
244
00:12:34,614 --> 00:12:36,983
Pootie Tang blew those
two out the water.
245
00:12:37,016 --> 00:12:38,785
Okay, yeah,
I'm writin' a book.
246
00:12:38,818 --> 00:12:41,354
When is
your next marathon, huh?
247
00:12:41,387 --> 00:12:43,723
You gonna help me
tend to my garden?
248
00:12:43,756 --> 00:12:45,792
I'll tend the shit out
of that garden.
249
00:12:45,825 --> 00:12:48,394
Tend more than the garden.
I will bend you over in there. I mean...
250
00:12:48,427 --> 00:12:49,629
So, I have carrots.
251
00:12:49,662 --> 00:12:51,697
I got a carrot.
With a fat head.
252
00:12:51,731 --> 00:12:53,066
What's up with that house
right there?
253
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:55,368
What's up with them people
that live in there?
254
00:12:55,401 --> 00:12:58,105
I know you can't see
with them thick-ass glasses.
255
00:12:58,138 --> 00:12:59,472
You know
what these eyes have seen?
256
00:12:59,505 --> 00:13:00,540
Yeah, these nuts.
257
00:13:00,573 --> 00:13:01,974
I've been in three wars.
258
00:13:02,008 --> 00:13:03,876
- How you think I got Bunny?
- The government.
259
00:13:03,910 --> 00:13:05,912
That little check you get every
month, she's takin' it.
260
00:13:05,945 --> 00:13:08,014
- I saw into her soul.
- Damn.
261
00:13:08,048 --> 00:13:10,650
I see that little man right there with
the 8th-grade body talkin' to my wife.
262
00:13:10,683 --> 00:13:11,717
You don't think
I see that?
263
00:13:11,751 --> 00:13:12,852
I saw you catch gonorrhea,
baby...
264
00:13:12,885 --> 00:13:14,121
You better watch
your fuckin' mouth!
265
00:13:14,154 --> 00:13:15,788
- Watch your mouth, man!
- I wish you would.
266
00:13:15,822 --> 00:13:17,590
I wish you...
I've been waiting on this.
267
00:13:17,623 --> 00:13:19,392
Why would you kick me in the leg
268
00:13:19,425 --> 00:13:21,828
- where I can't feel it?
- I know you can't... can't feel it.
269
00:13:21,861 --> 00:13:23,996
Come on. You ain't the first
Black guy I got in a fight with.
270
00:13:24,031 --> 00:13:26,133
I can't feel my legs, Carl.
Hit me in the face.
271
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:28,701
You little bitch.
272
00:13:28,734 --> 00:13:30,603
All day, every day.
273
00:13:30,636 --> 00:13:33,539
Listen, man. Somethin' ain't
right at that house, Carl.
274
00:13:33,573 --> 00:13:34,907
They moved
in the middle of night.
275
00:13:34,941 --> 00:13:37,144
There's never any movement
during the day.
276
00:13:37,177 --> 00:13:39,146
- Yeah.
- Lazy shits won't answer the door,
277
00:13:39,179 --> 00:13:40,446
had a package dropped off.
278
00:13:40,479 --> 00:13:42,381
Mailman brought it
over to me,
279
00:13:42,415 --> 00:13:44,517
sittin' on the front
porch right now.
280
00:13:44,550 --> 00:13:47,587
Hey, Bunny! Come get
that package from Africa!
281
00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:48,888
Hey, Bunny!
282
00:13:48,921 --> 00:13:50,690
Get that package
over there on the back porch.
283
00:13:50,723 --> 00:13:52,458
- I wouldn't. I wouldn't.
- You might get on...
284
00:13:52,491 --> 00:13:53,926
- You feel that, Carl?
- Okay. Let my arm go.
285
00:13:55,761 --> 00:13:57,030
- Let my arm go.
- Let my cousin... aw!
286
00:13:57,064 --> 00:13:58,131
- It fucking hurts.
- Hey.
287
00:13:58,165 --> 00:14:00,133
Let it go!
That shit hurt.
288
00:14:00,167 --> 00:14:02,535
Dang, you got some
upper body strength.
289
00:14:02,568 --> 00:14:04,604
There it is.
Look at that... Africa.
290
00:14:04,637 --> 00:14:06,606
Africa.
Wrapped in velvet.
291
00:14:15,781 --> 00:14:17,683
I'm gonna take it
over there myself.
292
00:14:17,717 --> 00:14:20,120
Cronut...
Cronut!
293
00:14:20,153 --> 00:14:22,122
Why you give him
the fuckin' package?!
294
00:14:22,155 --> 00:14:25,658
It's like we're living across the
street from Diff'rent Strokes.
295
00:14:25,691 --> 00:14:27,960
- Hey, hey, hey. Give me the package, man.
- What the shit?
296
00:14:27,994 --> 00:14:29,395
Cronut!
297
00:14:30,630 --> 00:14:32,899
See? You happy?
298
00:14:35,001 --> 00:14:37,104
You got me runnin' around here,
fightin' motherfuckers and shit...
299
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:40,773
- I can't do this, man.
- Fuck this, I gotta find out.
300
00:14:40,806 --> 00:14:43,910
- Hey, hey, hey...
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey my ass.
301
00:14:43,943 --> 00:14:45,045
Get it. Get it.
302
00:15:02,129 --> 00:15:05,065
What can I do to... I mean,
for you, gentlemen?
303
00:15:05,098 --> 00:15:06,699
Nigga, we saw you transporting
dead bodies last night.
304
00:15:06,732 --> 00:15:08,834
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, man.
Shut the fuck up.
305
00:15:08,868 --> 00:15:10,170
We did.
306
00:15:10,203 --> 00:15:12,805
You not see me
transport any dead bodies.
307
00:15:12,838 --> 00:15:15,608
We standin' in front of a
chocolate vampire-type nigga.
308
00:15:15,641 --> 00:15:19,011
Sir, and this my little cousin,
Cronut, he's a little retarded.
309
00:15:19,046 --> 00:15:21,148
- Slow as fuck.
- He needs special attention.
310
00:15:21,181 --> 00:15:23,916
- He's on Ritalin, prednisone, and all kind of shit.
- Everything.
311
00:15:23,950 --> 00:15:26,519
This is Dr. Mamuwalde's
residence.
312
00:15:26,552 --> 00:15:28,654
Mama... Mama who?
313
00:15:28,688 --> 00:15:29,889
Ma-mu-wal-day.
314
00:15:29,922 --> 00:15:31,924
- How you pronounce that?
- Ma-mu-wal-day.
315
00:15:31,958 --> 00:15:33,926
Mamuwal...
316
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,262
Ma-mu-wal-day.
317
00:15:35,295 --> 00:15:38,165
- Ma-mu-wal-day.
- Ma-mwa-wal-di.
318
00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:39,765
- Ma-mu-wal-day.
- Ma-mwa-wal-di.
319
00:15:39,799 --> 00:15:41,134
- Ma-mu-wal-day.
- Ma-mwa-wal-di.
320
00:15:41,168 --> 00:15:42,535
- Fix your mouth.
- All right, all right.
321
00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:44,171
- Excuse me.
- Your mama, nigga.
322
00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:47,107
I am Monty. I just
rent a room here.
323
00:15:47,140 --> 00:15:50,509
And I assure you,
you have seen no bodies.
324
00:15:50,543 --> 00:15:52,179
Pleasure to make
your acquaintance.
325
00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:54,613
Nigga, we saw you transport them
goddamn dead bodies in the back.
326
00:15:54,647 --> 00:15:56,983
- If you don't shut the fuck...
- Where you from, bro?
327
00:15:57,016 --> 00:15:59,618
- Hey, man, stop! Sir...
- What?
328
00:15:59,652 --> 00:16:01,921
Mr. Black, do you have
business here?
329
00:16:01,954 --> 00:16:04,623
No. I don't have no business here.
We just wanted to come through and say hey
330
00:16:04,657 --> 00:16:06,226
and make sure
everything was cool.
331
00:16:06,259 --> 00:16:07,893
Why wouldn't it be cool?
332
00:16:09,162 --> 00:16:11,064
- Excuse me?
- Why wouldn't it be?
333
00:16:11,098 --> 00:16:15,068
Because y'all moving in this
motherfucking house at 12:00 at night.
334
00:16:15,102 --> 00:16:17,104
There's people
sleeping around here.
335
00:16:17,137 --> 00:16:20,973
You got crackheads back there
sunbathing into fucking midnight.
336
00:16:22,975 --> 00:16:24,777
Bye, bitch!
337
00:16:24,810 --> 00:16:26,979
Hey, come on.
Get your ass...
338
00:16:27,847 --> 00:16:31,251
I'm gonna drop a dime
on you motherfuckers.
339
00:16:31,284 --> 00:16:34,653
You happy you done made me waste
a whole day on some bullshit?
340
00:16:34,687 --> 00:16:36,622
- Hey, man. Just fall back.
- Fall back for what?
341
00:16:36,655 --> 00:16:37,757
What you got to say now?
342
00:16:37,790 --> 00:16:39,159
You don't think
that shit weird?
343
00:16:40,327 --> 00:16:41,927
How'd he know
your last name?
344
00:16:41,961 --> 00:16:44,031
I'm a famous writer,
Cronut.
345
00:16:44,064 --> 00:16:45,564
This nigga delusional.
346
00:16:45,598 --> 00:16:48,235
My book is in-in-in
Barnes and Noble's.
347
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:52,039
Nigga! Ain't nobody
reading your books! Retire!
348
00:16:52,072 --> 00:16:54,074
Look, you're running
around here smoking that weed,
349
00:16:54,107 --> 00:16:57,144
you're paranoid,
you're smoking 2K, K2,
350
00:16:57,177 --> 00:16:58,611
or whatever the fuck
you doing...
351
00:16:58,644 --> 00:17:00,280
First of all,
I'm not smoking K2.
352
00:17:00,313 --> 00:17:02,049
I'm smoking strictly weed.
353
00:17:02,082 --> 00:17:04,016
And second of all,
something ain't right about that house,
354
00:17:04,051 --> 00:17:07,820
because boy was from Africa,
but he had a French accent.
355
00:17:07,853 --> 00:17:10,723
He got a sideburn that curl
up, like the devil.
356
00:17:10,756 --> 00:17:13,193
I'm thinking, man. You?
We got to get to the bottom of it.
357
00:17:13,226 --> 00:17:15,928
We not getting
to the bottom of shit.
358
00:17:15,961 --> 00:17:17,997
Well, you write your book.
I'll just be a detective.
359
00:17:18,031 --> 00:17:19,366
A detective for what?
360
00:17:19,399 --> 00:17:24,371
Africa, Carl. Africa.
Are you listening to me?
361
00:17:24,404 --> 00:17:26,106
Southwest don't go
to Africa.
362
00:17:26,139 --> 00:17:27,840
You won't help me do shit.
363
00:17:27,873 --> 00:17:29,875
I'm trying to marry
this man wife,
364
00:17:29,909 --> 00:17:31,677
I'm trying to tell you about
these devil worshippers over here
365
00:17:31,710 --> 00:17:33,313
and your book suck.
How about that?
366
00:17:36,982 --> 00:17:39,018
Shady Management.
367
00:17:39,052 --> 00:17:40,320
Leave a message.
368
00:17:40,353 --> 00:17:42,855
Hey, it's Carl Black.
Just calling you again,
369
00:17:42,888 --> 00:17:46,093
just lettin' you know
that I'm writing away.
370
00:17:46,126 --> 00:17:47,860
I need that advancement.
371
00:17:47,893 --> 00:17:51,064
The water bill's due,
we need bread, dishwash li...
372
00:17:55,035 --> 00:17:56,403
Do you know who I am?
373
00:17:56,436 --> 00:18:00,407
I am Wooky. The one
that survived the Purge.
374
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,242
I can help you survive
your problem.
375
00:18:02,275 --> 00:18:04,710
Are you being bullied?
Do you hear noises at night?
376
00:18:04,743 --> 00:18:06,011
Phone me.
377
00:18:06,046 --> 00:18:07,414
Are you sick?
Do you have a headache?
378
00:18:07,447 --> 00:18:10,683
Are you hearing things?
Malaria? Ebola?
379
00:18:10,716 --> 00:18:12,119
Demon experience?
380
00:18:12,152 --> 00:18:14,387
Call me. Whisper to me.
381
00:18:14,421 --> 00:18:17,057
I will fight your battles
for you today.
382
00:18:18,458 --> 00:18:19,892
I am Wooky.
383
00:18:20,926 --> 00:18:22,429
Ain't nobody go
for that bullshit.
384
00:18:26,032 --> 00:18:28,368
All right, yeah. Shit.
385
00:18:33,406 --> 00:18:35,242
Allie Black.
386
00:18:35,275 --> 00:18:38,044
Yes, Daddy? Yes?
387
00:18:38,078 --> 00:18:39,845
- What you doing?
- I'm studying.
388
00:18:39,879 --> 00:18:41,148
- You're studying.
- Yes.
389
00:18:41,181 --> 00:18:42,781
Yeah. I thought you
was home for fall?
390
00:18:42,815 --> 00:18:44,783
Doesn't mean I still
don't have to study, Dad.
391
00:18:44,817 --> 00:18:47,786
You know our family have been
going through a lot of stuff,
392
00:18:47,820 --> 00:18:50,457
and you don't like to follow
the rules all the time,
393
00:18:50,490 --> 00:18:52,825
'cause I've been asked you
a whole bunch of times
394
00:18:52,858 --> 00:18:54,793
to keep these little boys
out of my...
395
00:18:54,827 --> 00:18:56,762
- Daddy, I can explain...
- Ah! What the hell is wrong with you?
396
00:18:56,795 --> 00:18:58,031
I know a lot of gang shit.
You know...
397
00:18:58,064 --> 00:18:59,332
I thought he was dead!
398
00:18:59,366 --> 00:19:01,767
No, bitch.
Dying's for pussies.
399
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,237
I told you to keep these
little boys out of this house.
400
00:19:04,271 --> 00:19:06,373
I sent you to school
for a education...
401
00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:08,475
- I had to drop out, okay?
- You dropped out?
402
00:19:08,508 --> 00:19:10,876
We dropped out.
A couple goes...
403
00:19:10,910 --> 00:19:13,413
You and him about to be living off
that little cripple check every month.
404
00:19:13,446 --> 00:19:15,415
- Baby, give me my cane. I'm out.
- Okay.
405
00:19:15,448 --> 00:19:17,250
Yeah, this
don't make no sense.
406
00:19:17,284 --> 00:19:18,951
I don't know what
you going through, Allie.
407
00:19:18,984 --> 00:19:21,188
Daddy, Daddy. Just...
just leave him alone, okay?
408
00:19:21,221 --> 00:19:22,888
If you're gonna do
somethin', do somethin'.
409
00:19:22,922 --> 00:19:24,124
It's already done.
410
00:19:24,157 --> 00:19:25,891
If you're gonna do
somethin', do somethin'.
411
00:19:25,925 --> 00:19:27,294
Freezee!
412
00:19:27,327 --> 00:19:28,761
Daddy,
why'd you do that?
413
00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:29,895
I didn't even touch him.
414
00:19:29,929 --> 00:19:31,198
That's all right.
You got it, baby?
415
00:19:31,231 --> 00:19:32,465
Come on. Help his arm.
Get his arm right there.
416
00:19:32,499 --> 00:19:34,434
Hey, I don't need your help!
I'm in the ADA.
417
00:19:34,467 --> 00:19:35,968
Baby, you do need help.
418
00:19:36,001 --> 00:19:37,404
- All right.
- You need some help, okay?
419
00:19:38,871 --> 00:19:39,939
Yeah. Lift him up.
One, two, three.
420
00:19:41,374 --> 00:19:43,310
Fuck you! Ain't nobody
need your assistance.
421
00:19:43,343 --> 00:19:45,111
Baby, go start
the car, okay?
422
00:19:45,145 --> 00:19:47,047
- All right.
- We'll be out of here in a second.
423
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,515
I'm gonna let you know one thing.
My dick may not work,
424
00:19:48,548 --> 00:19:51,451
but my tongue game's
strong on your girl.
425
00:19:51,484 --> 00:19:53,086
Okay. Baby, go.
426
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:54,354
Ask him for some
gas money, baby.
427
00:19:54,387 --> 00:19:56,822
I will. I'll ask him
for some. Okay.
428
00:19:56,855 --> 00:19:58,325
Oh, thank God.
429
00:19:58,358 --> 00:20:00,293
But why don't you get
somebody that can walk?
430
00:20:00,327 --> 00:20:01,827
I ain't helping.
431
00:20:01,860 --> 00:20:03,796
Daddy, listen.
Okay, I had to drop out
432
00:20:03,829 --> 00:20:05,864
because your check bounced.
433
00:20:05,898 --> 00:20:07,933
And you would know that if you
cared about anybody in this family
434
00:20:07,967 --> 00:20:09,969
except yourself
and that damn book.
435
00:20:10,002 --> 00:20:12,439
He loves me.
436
00:20:14,873 --> 00:20:16,842
He only cares about himself.
He's so selfish.
437
00:20:16,875 --> 00:20:18,411
Allie!
438
00:20:22,215 --> 00:20:23,483
Allie!
439
00:20:23,516 --> 00:20:25,051
Allie!
440
00:20:29,522 --> 00:20:32,392
Ekekek. Ekekek.
441
00:20:32,425 --> 00:20:34,127
Psst! Ekekek.
442
00:20:35,995 --> 00:20:38,198
Carl, come here.
443
00:20:38,231 --> 00:20:39,399
You gotta see this shit.
444
00:20:39,432 --> 00:20:41,034
Get over where?
How do I get over there?
445
00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:42,269
Hop over, man.
446
00:20:44,404 --> 00:20:47,040
No, no, for real.
For real. Come here.
447
00:20:47,073 --> 00:20:49,276
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Calm down. Calm down.
448
00:20:49,309 --> 00:20:51,444
Check that. Shit!
449
00:20:55,881 --> 00:20:57,350
Is that Michael Jackson?
450
00:20:57,384 --> 00:20:59,252
Where's the box from Africa?
451
00:20:59,286 --> 00:21:00,819
- That's so weird.
- Hey! Hey, man!
452
00:21:00,853 --> 00:21:02,355
Hey, man,
don't do that!
453
00:21:02,389 --> 00:21:04,391
Why are you always
creeping up on people, man?
454
00:21:04,424 --> 00:21:07,027
- Don't do that.
- That's what I do. I creep.
455
00:21:07,060 --> 00:21:09,462
- Look, look.
- Find it.
456
00:21:10,697 --> 00:21:13,500
They just moved into the house
and people are already coming over.
457
00:21:16,569 --> 00:21:19,139
Goddamn. She got
a big 'ol ass.
458
00:21:21,107 --> 00:21:23,842
Hello. I'm here
for Dr. Mamuwalde.
459
00:21:32,619 --> 00:21:34,254
Something ain't right.
460
00:21:34,287 --> 00:21:35,488
I'mma tell you
something.
461
00:21:35,522 --> 00:21:38,558
Leave them goddamn
neighbors alone.
462
00:21:38,591 --> 00:21:42,095
- Leave them alone! I'm out of here.
- Look.
463
00:21:42,128 --> 00:21:43,296
I think you
made him mad.
464
00:21:43,330 --> 00:21:45,365
He's always mad at me.
Don't even trip.
465
00:21:45,398 --> 00:21:47,467
She ain't coming back out of there.
I told you, once you go in there,
466
00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:49,569
you ain't coming out,
especially if you're fine.
467
00:21:49,602 --> 00:21:52,339
All the ugly bitches came right
out, but this coochie?
468
00:21:52,372 --> 00:21:54,607
I'm going in.
469
00:21:54,641 --> 00:21:56,309
I'm neighborhood watch.
470
00:22:00,613 --> 00:22:02,282
Yeah. You go
right on in there.
471
00:22:02,315 --> 00:22:04,484
I trust you.
472
00:22:04,517 --> 00:22:06,186
Snitch, Snitch, come in.
473
00:22:09,988 --> 00:22:11,358
What can I do for you?
474
00:22:11,391 --> 00:22:13,660
I'm neighborhood watch.
I need to get in this house.
475
00:22:13,693 --> 00:22:17,230
Well then, please, come in,
Mr. Neighborhood Watch.
476
00:22:17,263 --> 00:22:18,997
You're very welcome here.
477
00:22:25,638 --> 00:22:28,174
Cronut, what the fuck
are you doing?
478
00:22:28,208 --> 00:22:29,175
Shhh!
479
00:22:32,178 --> 00:22:34,514
Why are you looking
in their window?
480
00:22:34,547 --> 00:22:36,049
Get out of them
people's house.
481
00:22:37,950 --> 00:22:39,486
What you see?
482
00:22:39,519 --> 00:22:41,154
Well, first of all,
this house looks amazing on the inside,
483
00:22:41,187 --> 00:22:44,290
but they're doing
some freaky shit for real.
484
00:22:44,324 --> 00:22:48,161
What? What's he doing?
485
00:22:51,331 --> 00:22:54,933
Cronut! What's going on?
486
00:22:54,967 --> 00:22:57,437
- Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
- What? What? What?
487
00:22:57,470 --> 00:23:00,073
- Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
- What? What?
488
00:23:00,106 --> 00:23:01,541
Go, go.
489
00:23:03,976 --> 00:23:07,280
- Oh, shit.
- Why we running, man?
490
00:23:07,313 --> 00:23:10,183
- Hey, ¿qué pasó?
- OG. Hugo.
491
00:23:10,216 --> 00:23:12,085
There's vampires, man.
There's vampires.
492
00:23:12,118 --> 00:23:13,386
Re... relax. Ain't no...
493
00:23:13,420 --> 00:23:16,356
The vampire feeds on blood.
494
00:23:16,389 --> 00:23:20,193
But what he really wants
495
00:23:20,226 --> 00:23:22,695
is to find the things
that you love most
496
00:23:22,729 --> 00:23:24,930
and twist you...
497
00:23:26,266 --> 00:23:29,935
and torment you
every day of your life.
498
00:23:32,105 --> 00:23:34,107
You're a dark motherfucker.
499
00:23:34,140 --> 00:23:36,676
You've been saying some crazy
shit back here in this backyard.
500
00:23:36,709 --> 00:23:38,478
So what should we do, OG?
501
00:23:38,511 --> 00:23:40,447
Find out what he wants.
502
00:23:42,382 --> 00:23:45,685
Find out what he's doing
in our neighborhood.
503
00:23:45,718 --> 00:23:47,253
Think about it.
504
00:23:47,287 --> 00:23:49,122
We ain't never seen
Dr. Mamuwalde in the daytime.
505
00:23:49,155 --> 00:23:50,657
- You know why?
- Why?
506
00:23:50,690 --> 00:23:52,592
"And they rise from
the grave at night
507
00:23:52,625 --> 00:23:54,727
- to feast on the living."
- Oh, no.
508
00:23:54,761 --> 00:23:57,430
Shut the fuck up
for a second.
509
00:23:57,464 --> 00:23:59,299
Just for one second,
shut the fuck up.
510
00:23:59,332 --> 00:24:02,135
You know what? All that
coming to... to life
511
00:24:02,168 --> 00:24:05,505
and the dead rising up
and the Tales of the Crypt
512
00:24:05,538 --> 00:24:07,740
and the Michael Jackson,
the monsters,
513
00:24:07,774 --> 00:24:10,210
all that is a bunch of bullshit!
514
00:24:10,243 --> 00:24:12,178
Did you see the little
guy in the window?
515
00:24:12,212 --> 00:24:13,613
'Cause you probably
think it's Prince
516
00:24:13,646 --> 00:24:15,582
or I don't know who
the fuck you think it is.
517
00:24:15,615 --> 00:24:17,317
It's a little pimp in there.
518
00:24:18,251 --> 00:24:21,688
Bitches is getting slapped
over in that house.
519
00:24:21,721 --> 00:24:23,723
Man, I know what I saw, man.
That was a goddamn vampire.
520
00:24:23,756 --> 00:24:25,325
Definitely.
I know what I saw.
521
00:24:25,358 --> 00:24:27,627
A pimp live next door
to us, okay?
522
00:24:27,660 --> 00:24:29,429
P-I-M-P.
523
00:24:29,462 --> 00:24:31,664
Put it in my pocket.
524
00:24:31,698 --> 00:24:35,401
The reason why he sleep all day?
Because pimping is at night!
525
00:24:35,435 --> 00:24:37,403
I'm gone. I'm getting
the fuck out of here.
526
00:24:37,437 --> 00:24:39,038
I'm finna go write my book.
527
00:24:39,072 --> 00:24:40,673
You done lost
your motherfucking mind.
528
00:24:40,707 --> 00:24:42,542
You need to go sign
up for the circus.
529
00:24:42,575 --> 00:24:45,545
- Oh, man.
- Don't invite him in.
530
00:24:45,578 --> 00:24:47,146
What?
531
00:24:47,180 --> 00:24:49,148
Only way to keep a vampire
out of your house.
532
00:24:49,182 --> 00:24:51,217
Don't invite him in.
533
00:24:52,352 --> 00:24:53,820
I'm gone, man. I ain't...
534
00:24:53,853 --> 00:24:56,155
Yeah, you go, man.
We're gonna get to the bottom of it.
535
00:24:56,189 --> 00:24:58,224
I'm gonna do some research.
We'll figure it out, bro!
536
00:24:58,258 --> 00:25:00,059
- Just trust me!
- Shut the fuck up.
537
00:25:01,094 --> 00:25:02,762
Well, what about...
what about if you live in the RV?
538
00:25:02,795 --> 00:25:05,431
- Is there any rules there?
- Don't invite him in.
539
00:25:21,381 --> 00:25:23,683
I ain't got no more bananas,
'cause this shit is...
540
00:25:23,716 --> 00:25:26,419
They got... bats.
541
00:25:26,452 --> 00:25:28,087
Vampire coming at me.
542
00:25:28,121 --> 00:25:29,455
God, I didn't sign up
for this shit.
543
00:25:31,157 --> 00:25:35,128
Fucking nude.
544
00:25:36,829 --> 00:25:38,398
Dispatch
to Snitch. Over.
545
00:25:38,431 --> 00:25:41,467
Do you know what
happens to snitches?
546
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:49,576
Shit!
547
00:25:49,609 --> 00:25:53,146
These bitches bit
Snitch's neck!
548
00:25:53,179 --> 00:25:56,115
Mama! Oh, shit!
That was shit. They got me.
549
00:25:57,450 --> 00:25:59,452
Oh, damn. Oh, damn.
550
00:26:10,496 --> 00:26:13,132
You know me as the one
that survived the Purge.
551
00:26:13,166 --> 00:26:15,868
Therefore, I could survive anything.
552
00:26:15,902 --> 00:26:17,403
What is going on
in your life?
553
00:26:17,437 --> 00:26:19,539
- Late night?
- Oh. Hey.
554
00:26:19,572 --> 00:26:21,374
Yeah. It was
the worst last night.
555
00:26:21,407 --> 00:26:22,742
I can explain, though.
556
00:26:22,775 --> 00:26:25,678
Can you tell me
what happened with Allie?
557
00:26:25,712 --> 00:26:28,615
- She called you?
- She's mad because you don't trust her.
558
00:26:28,648 --> 00:26:29,816
No. She had
her little boy in my house.
559
00:26:29,849 --> 00:26:31,651
She ain't paying no
rent up in here.
560
00:26:31,684 --> 00:26:33,620
You need to be the bigger man
and call her and apologize,
561
00:26:33,653 --> 00:26:35,888
because I'm not dealing
with all of this mess.
562
00:26:35,922 --> 00:26:39,225
And speaking of which, did you call the
real estate agent like I asked you to?
563
00:26:39,258 --> 00:26:40,560
Oh, man.
564
00:26:40,593 --> 00:26:43,363
I'm mentally exhausted
from all of this.
565
00:26:43,396 --> 00:26:45,598
I'm having a hard
time writing, okay?
566
00:26:45,632 --> 00:26:47,634
Lorena.
567
00:26:49,769 --> 00:26:51,771
Come, Lorena.
568
00:26:51,804 --> 00:26:55,174
Oh, my God.
569
00:26:55,208 --> 00:26:57,844
- Oh, my God.
- What's going on with you?
570
00:26:57,877 --> 00:26:59,412
Oh, my God.
571
00:26:59,445 --> 00:27:00,747
- Do you feel it...
- Oh, my God.
572
00:27:00,780 --> 00:27:02,248
- ...all over your body?
- Oh, shit.
573
00:27:02,281 --> 00:27:03,282
How is this happening?
574
00:27:03,316 --> 00:27:04,684
Oh, my God.
575
00:27:04,717 --> 00:27:06,619
Am I missing out
on something?
576
00:27:06,653 --> 00:27:09,288
Oh, yes.
Don't stop.
577
00:27:09,322 --> 00:27:12,392
Oh, my. Carl.
578
00:27:12,425 --> 00:27:13,726
Carl,
did you hear that?
579
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:15,528
Hey, you didn't... you
didn't came in here.
580
00:27:15,561 --> 00:27:18,197
Shhh!
581
00:27:18,231 --> 00:27:21,567
Okay, then.
That's what I needed.
582
00:27:21,601 --> 00:27:24,871
Local authorities are
hesitant to label this a serial killer...
583
00:27:24,904 --> 00:27:27,440
- Oh, my God. - ...but sources
close to the investigation
584
00:27:27,473 --> 00:27:29,275
were heard saying
585
00:27:29,308 --> 00:27:32,745
"This is some fucked up shit
right here, my nigga."
586
00:27:32,779 --> 00:27:34,747
Who's doing all these terrible
things to these women?
587
00:27:34,781 --> 00:27:36,649
- ...they went on to say the dead...
- Oh, my God.
588
00:27:36,683 --> 00:27:38,584
I'm telling you,
we need to get out of here.
589
00:27:38,618 --> 00:27:40,486
Can you please, please
call that real estate man?
590
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,221
- The paper's right there.
- I'm gonna call.
591
00:27:42,255 --> 00:27:43,489
- I'm gonna call him.
- Okay.
592
00:27:43,523 --> 00:27:44,991
- ...signing off saying...
- Now.
593
00:27:45,024 --> 00:27:47,827
- Call him, please.
- ...hoes got to eat too.
594
00:27:55,835 --> 00:27:57,503
Allie!
595
00:27:58,504 --> 00:28:00,940
This is my 17th message.
596
00:28:00,973 --> 00:28:03,843
Please call me back, okay?
I'm looking for you.
597
00:28:03,876 --> 00:28:06,579
I'm worried about you.
Call me back.
598
00:28:08,548 --> 00:28:09,949
Hey.
599
00:28:12,518 --> 00:28:13,986
Listen, I'm not letting
you in my house
600
00:28:14,020 --> 00:28:15,855
so you can tell them
same ghost stories...
601
00:28:15,888 --> 00:28:17,457
No, you need to see
this for real.
602
00:28:17,490 --> 00:28:18,958
Snitch,
do you read me?
603
00:28:18,991 --> 00:28:20,460
Look like
a busted bike to me.
604
00:28:20,493 --> 00:28:22,929
No, look.
This Rico bike.
605
00:28:22,962 --> 00:28:25,631
- They done kidnapped Rico, bro.
- Dispatch to Snitch, over.
606
00:28:25,665 --> 00:28:27,567
He don't go nowhere
without this bike.
607
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,969
His license suspended.
He got no choice but to ride this bike.
608
00:28:30,002 --> 00:28:32,972
Look, Rico is a grown man
who done looked in the mirror
609
00:28:33,005 --> 00:28:34,841
and realized
he ain't got no business
610
00:28:34,874 --> 00:28:37,810
being 50 years old
on a tricycle.
611
00:28:37,844 --> 00:28:39,445
Or the vampires
could have got him.
612
00:28:41,013 --> 00:28:42,582
Dispatch to Snitch, over.
613
00:28:44,051 --> 00:28:46,018
Rico saw
something last night.
614
00:28:46,053 --> 00:28:47,954
I think I bet the vampires
snatched his ass up.
615
00:28:47,987 --> 00:28:49,989
Snitch, what is your 411?
616
00:28:50,022 --> 00:28:51,924
That's Freezee's car.
617
00:28:51,958 --> 00:28:54,360
In there pimping
my daughter!
618
00:29:01,734 --> 00:29:03,603
The sun's setting.
619
00:29:05,905 --> 00:29:08,541
The vampire's
about to wake up.
620
00:29:08,574 --> 00:29:10,276
Don't invite him in.
621
00:29:13,513 --> 00:29:15,048
Imbecile!
622
00:29:15,082 --> 00:29:16,949
Damn it, man!
You scared the hell out of me!
623
00:29:16,983 --> 00:29:19,619
Who the hell you
callin' an imbecile?
624
00:29:19,652 --> 00:29:22,789
Now listen, you take your hands off of me!
I don't know you!
625
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:28,594
Whoop.
626
00:29:28,628 --> 00:29:30,463
- Stop playing!
- Got you.
627
00:29:30,496 --> 00:29:31,597
You little bitch.
628
00:29:36,170 --> 00:29:38,738
No, but for real, though, this is crazy.
What is we doing?
629
00:29:40,873 --> 00:29:42,608
I know Allie's
in this house.
630
00:29:42,642 --> 00:29:44,510
Allie!
631
00:29:44,544 --> 00:29:46,813
These maniacs done kidnapped Rico
and you just banging on the door?
632
00:29:46,846 --> 00:29:48,447
I've been calling
Allie all day
633
00:29:48,481 --> 00:29:49,849
and she ain't answer
the phone. Relax.
634
00:29:49,882 --> 00:29:51,617
Allie!
635
00:29:51,651 --> 00:29:54,520
- What the fuck?
- Can I help you, gentlemen?
636
00:29:54,554 --> 00:29:56,856
My daughter's
in there, man.
637
00:29:56,889 --> 00:29:59,492
Come on, man. Give me my daughter
back, man. This is crazy.
638
00:29:59,525 --> 00:30:01,761
You got the fuckin'
Halloween shit going on?
639
00:30:01,794 --> 00:30:03,596
That's my daughter!
640
00:30:03,629 --> 00:30:06,133
I'm sure I don't know
what you mean, neighbor.
641
00:30:06,166 --> 00:30:08,068
The car is in the back.
642
00:30:08,101 --> 00:30:10,070
I've been looking
for my daughter all day.
643
00:30:10,103 --> 00:30:11,604
Your pimping gonna stop.
644
00:30:11,637 --> 00:30:13,106
God don't like ugly, man.
645
00:30:13,140 --> 00:30:16,676
Mr. Black, your daughter
is not in this house.
646
00:30:16,709 --> 00:30:17,743
Ah!
647
00:30:20,113 --> 00:30:22,782
Can I come in the house?
648
00:30:22,815 --> 00:30:24,884
The doctor will not
be here until later.
649
00:30:24,917 --> 00:30:27,954
I wonder why? You got all them dead
bodies in there you don't want us to see?
650
00:30:27,987 --> 00:30:31,124
But, if you'd like
to come in, Mr. Black,
651
00:30:31,158 --> 00:30:36,462
you will find out in fact that
your daughter is not in this house.
652
00:30:36,495 --> 00:30:38,397
- We can come in and search the whole...
- Mr. Black, please.
653
00:30:38,431 --> 00:30:39,799
You want... that's what you
want us to do?
654
00:30:39,832 --> 00:30:41,367
Please.
655
00:30:43,736 --> 00:30:44,871
Be my guest.
656
00:30:44,904 --> 00:30:46,906
You want some real niggas...
657
00:30:46,939 --> 00:30:48,175
Enjoy yourselves, please.
658
00:30:48,208 --> 00:30:49,775
- ...come in your house?
- Go.
659
00:30:52,145 --> 00:30:54,181
Hey, stop.
660
00:30:57,217 --> 00:30:58,451
Allie!
661
00:30:58,484 --> 00:31:00,053
Allie!
662
00:31:01,754 --> 00:31:03,789
What?
663
00:31:03,823 --> 00:31:05,958
- Carl, look at this shit.
- What?
664
00:31:12,232 --> 00:31:14,867
That shit
look crazy, man.
665
00:31:14,901 --> 00:31:16,836
What the fuck is that
dog thing right there?
666
00:31:16,869 --> 00:31:18,038
- Mr. Black!
- Hey! Shit!
667
00:31:18,071 --> 00:31:19,839
Damn, bro!
What the fuck is going on?
668
00:31:19,872 --> 00:31:21,041
- What's wrong with you, bro?
- Don't touch these dolls.
669
00:31:21,074 --> 00:31:22,875
What is wrong with you?
670
00:31:22,909 --> 00:31:27,480
These are very, very expensive
West African voodoo totems.
671
00:31:27,513 --> 00:31:29,548
- The doctor is a collector.
- Allie!
672
00:31:32,052 --> 00:31:33,086
Allie!
673
00:31:37,556 --> 00:31:39,059
Allie! Whoa!
674
00:31:39,959 --> 00:31:42,029
- Is my daddy in here?
- Please come in, Allie.
675
00:31:42,062 --> 00:31:43,063
Carl.
676
00:31:44,830 --> 00:31:45,932
- What?
- Guess who come in.
677
00:31:45,965 --> 00:31:47,700
Dad! What are you
doing here?
678
00:31:47,733 --> 00:31:50,002
Allie, what are you doing?
Where your ass been at?
679
00:31:50,037 --> 00:31:51,238
What the hell's going on?
680
00:31:51,271 --> 00:31:52,972
Why are you
in these nice people's house?
681
00:31:53,005 --> 00:31:55,175
These people ain't nice.
This is a pimp's house.
682
00:31:55,208 --> 00:31:57,110
- This is a nice house.
- Oh, my God.
683
00:31:57,144 --> 00:31:59,046
Man, this is crazy!
Look, he's been putting
684
00:31:59,079 --> 00:32:01,681
all kind of crazy stories
in my head about you.
685
00:32:01,714 --> 00:32:03,516
The car's in the back...
686
00:32:03,549 --> 00:32:06,153
See, I knew you were going to
be tripping when you found out.
687
00:32:06,186 --> 00:32:08,554
God. Found out what?
688
00:32:09,356 --> 00:32:11,857
I just gotta tell you.
I'm just going to say it.
689
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,895
- I'm movin' out.
- Movin' out where?
690
00:32:15,928 --> 00:32:17,964
Me and Freezee
are going to get married
691
00:32:17,997 --> 00:32:19,632
and we're going
to make a life together.
692
00:32:19,665 --> 00:32:22,035
I will take my belt off
and tear your ass up.
693
00:32:22,069 --> 00:32:24,904
Daddy, I can make my own choices.
It's called feminism.
694
00:32:24,937 --> 00:32:28,208
Oh,
I know all about liberating some women.
695
00:32:28,241 --> 00:32:30,077
- You hear that?
- Yeah.
696
00:32:38,718 --> 00:32:43,622
Let me introduce
Dr. Mamuwalde!
697
00:32:46,226 --> 00:32:48,661
Dr. Mamuwalde.
698
00:32:49,628 --> 00:32:51,831
Dr. Mamuwalde.
699
00:32:51,864 --> 00:32:54,101
Dr. Mamuwalde.
700
00:32:55,135 --> 00:32:57,170
Dr. Mamuwalde.
701
00:32:58,171 --> 00:33:00,673
Dr. Mamuwalde.
702
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,576
So beautiful.
703
00:33:03,609 --> 00:33:05,745
Dr. Mamuwalde.
704
00:33:07,247 --> 00:33:10,016
Dr. Mamuwalde.
705
00:33:10,783 --> 00:33:13,753
Dr. Mamuwalde.
706
00:33:13,786 --> 00:33:16,323
Is that a Black
bite-sized Hugh Hefner?
707
00:33:16,356 --> 00:33:18,991
Dr. Mamuwalde.
708
00:33:19,025 --> 00:33:21,594
Dr. Mamuwalde.
709
00:33:22,795 --> 00:33:25,098
Dr. Mamuwalde.
710
00:33:25,132 --> 00:33:26,732
All right, man.
711
00:33:26,766 --> 00:33:29,735
Monty, I told you,
three times.
712
00:33:29,769 --> 00:33:31,271
Yeah, nigga, damn.
713
00:33:31,304 --> 00:33:33,073
Every day is a struggle,
714
00:33:33,106 --> 00:33:36,276
but every night
is a feast, you feel me?
715
00:33:36,309 --> 00:33:39,779
Carl Black!
Show me some love.
716
00:33:39,812 --> 00:33:41,114
I can give you some
from right here.
717
00:33:41,148 --> 00:33:42,848
I can't come over
and give up no...
718
00:33:42,882 --> 00:33:45,218
- no love shit, dog.
- Mm-mm.
719
00:33:45,252 --> 00:33:49,256
Welcome to my humble abode,
Carl Black.
720
00:33:49,289 --> 00:33:51,291
How the fuck
do you know my name?
721
00:33:51,324 --> 00:33:54,593
That's what's crazy.
You been on my IG page?
722
00:33:54,627 --> 00:33:56,929
Oh, I've had
my third eye on you.
723
00:33:56,962 --> 00:33:58,631
I mean, if it was about
that shit the other night,
724
00:33:58,664 --> 00:33:59,865
all right, look,
I ain't got...
725
00:33:59,899 --> 00:34:02,335
The doctor is
a fan of your book...
726
00:34:02,369 --> 00:34:03,370
- Ooh.
- Mr. Black.
727
00:34:03,403 --> 00:34:05,338
Shit. Mm.
728
00:34:05,372 --> 00:34:08,007
And doodoo is
a fan of your mouth.
729
00:34:08,041 --> 00:34:10,009
- Dad.
- You know my book?
730
00:34:10,043 --> 00:34:11,378
- Wow.
- Mm.
731
00:34:11,411 --> 00:34:13,012
I told you, you got
to get back in there.
732
00:34:13,046 --> 00:34:15,115
You know he's in, uh,
a tough spot right now.
733
00:34:15,148 --> 00:34:16,615
- He's in a artistic bind.
- Yeah. I'm trying to write a new book.
734
00:34:16,649 --> 00:34:18,318
Yeah. You see,
the first one was good.
735
00:34:18,351 --> 00:34:20,153
- Yeah. The second one.
- Now, I'm trying to do...
736
00:34:20,187 --> 00:34:22,189
- I'm trying to do the second one.
- Gotta be off the chain.
737
00:34:22,222 --> 00:34:23,856
It's a fine piece
of literature.
738
00:34:23,889 --> 00:34:25,858
The shit was
a modern-day classic.
739
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,296
Dr. Mamuwalde.
740
00:34:29,329 --> 00:34:32,932
What type of medicine
you practice, bro?
741
00:34:32,965 --> 00:34:35,168
I practice
the type of medicine
742
00:34:35,202 --> 00:34:37,736
for those
with a particular affliction.
743
00:34:37,770 --> 00:34:40,673
Take two of these and call me in the morning.
744
00:34:41,907 --> 00:34:44,111
Oh, this.
745
00:34:44,144 --> 00:34:45,245
Bless his name.
746
00:34:45,278 --> 00:34:47,147
I knew you was a pimp.
747
00:34:47,180 --> 00:34:49,715
- Ha. Such harsh language, Mr. Black.
- Yeah.
748
00:34:49,748 --> 00:34:51,984
I am a purveyor
and provocateur
749
00:34:52,017 --> 00:34:55,888
of fine ass bitches
and high-priced pleasure.
750
00:34:55,921 --> 00:34:58,291
I know what I'm looking at
when I see it.
751
00:34:58,325 --> 00:35:00,093
Hold on. Wait a minute,
little George Jefferson.
752
00:35:00,127 --> 00:35:02,728
We ain't doing no provocative
nothin' around here.
753
00:35:02,761 --> 00:35:04,131
This is my daughter.
754
00:35:04,164 --> 00:35:06,166
Ain't nothin' going up
in there but a tampon.
755
00:35:06,199 --> 00:35:07,766
- Daddy!
- Mr. Black, I assure you,
756
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,903
I may be a pimp,
but I am no monster.
757
00:35:10,936 --> 00:35:13,406
Matter of fact, to prove my point,
758
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:18,777
allow me. A mind is
a terrible thing to waste.
759
00:35:18,811 --> 00:35:21,013
This is for your education.
760
00:35:21,047 --> 00:35:22,048
Really?
761
00:35:26,486 --> 00:35:28,321
- No.
- Ooh. Daddy!
762
00:35:28,355 --> 00:35:31,124
No! We ain't raisin'
no THOTs around here!
763
00:35:31,158 --> 00:35:32,992
- We ain't doing no THOTin'!
- But we need the money!
764
00:35:33,025 --> 00:35:35,395
You... but we ain't getting
the money that kind of way.
765
00:35:35,428 --> 00:35:38,231
We sellin' books
around here, not pussy!
766
00:35:38,265 --> 00:35:40,966
The Black man has yet again
said no to education.
767
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,336
- Fuck you! Come on. Get your ass out of here.
- Daddy!
768
00:35:43,370 --> 00:35:45,804
- Why are you always yelling at people?
- Fuck you, Mr. Mamuwalde.
769
00:35:45,838 --> 00:35:47,740
Thank you, nice man!
770
00:35:47,773 --> 00:35:50,443
Well, let me just say I'm
having a soirée tomorrow night
771
00:35:50,477 --> 00:35:52,745
and I would be honored
if you would join me.
772
00:35:52,778 --> 00:35:54,648
I'm expensive!
773
00:35:59,052 --> 00:36:02,155
Tomorrow night is the soirée.
774
00:36:02,189 --> 00:36:03,223
Oh, oh.
775
00:36:04,857 --> 00:36:08,128
- Save them for me.
- We expect to be seeing you.
776
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:23,076
You always do this,
Daddy.
777
00:36:23,109 --> 00:36:24,977
Why wouldn't you let
that pretty man help me?
778
00:36:25,010 --> 00:36:27,080
Dolomite was trying
to get in your panties.
779
00:36:27,113 --> 00:36:28,981
- We don't need his money.
- No.
780
00:36:29,014 --> 00:36:31,518
We don't need the money.
I need the money, Dad.
781
00:36:31,551 --> 00:36:34,187
I just want to get my education,
so I don't end up like you.
782
00:36:34,221 --> 00:36:35,422
- Like me?
- Yes, Daddy.
783
00:36:35,455 --> 00:36:36,889
Just write the book
or get a job.
784
00:36:36,922 --> 00:36:38,191
Get a job,
broke nigga!
785
00:36:38,225 --> 00:36:39,992
I got some money
on your hair, Freezee.
786
00:36:40,025 --> 00:36:41,860
I'm about to unthaw yo ass.
787
00:36:41,894 --> 00:36:43,463
- I'm leaving.
- Allie.
788
00:36:43,496 --> 00:36:45,232
And me and Freezee are gonna
live happily ever after together.
789
00:36:45,265 --> 00:36:46,865
- Allie Black.
- That is what we're doing.
790
00:36:46,899 --> 00:36:48,268
- Freezee! Let's go!
- Allie Black.
791
00:36:48,301 --> 00:36:49,768
Allie! Allie!
792
00:36:49,802 --> 00:36:51,037
I think she just called
you a dumbass.
793
00:36:51,071 --> 00:36:52,172
Stop yelling
in the neighborhood!
794
00:36:52,205 --> 00:36:54,006
- Allie.
- We're going.
795
00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,042
- Baby, tuck my legs in.
- I got you.
796
00:36:57,143 --> 00:36:58,911
- Baby.
- Look at that.
797
00:36:58,944 --> 00:37:00,447
Always falling like this.
798
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,249
Carl!
799
00:37:02,282 --> 00:37:04,551
Why is she leaving like that, baby?
We just talked about this.
800
00:37:04,584 --> 00:37:06,519
- Baby, I...
- Well-well, the neighbor next door
801
00:37:06,553 --> 00:37:08,821
tried to give some goddamn
vampire pimp money
802
00:37:08,854 --> 00:37:11,224
to Allie for school
and goddamn hatin' ass Carl,
803
00:37:11,258 --> 00:37:14,094
he gon' take the money and throw
it back in the goddamn vampire face
804
00:37:14,127 --> 00:37:15,495
and goddamn Allie,
goddamn...
805
00:37:15,528 --> 00:37:18,864
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
calm down, little infant!
806
00:37:18,897 --> 00:37:20,933
Vampire?
Vampire pimp?
807
00:37:20,966 --> 00:37:23,203
That's what you guys are out
here talking about right now?
808
00:37:23,236 --> 00:37:25,804
- No. It ain't even like that.
- We just had this conversation.
809
00:37:25,838 --> 00:37:28,508
- Hey.
- I'm tired of all this craziness.
810
00:37:28,541 --> 00:37:30,510
Did you call the real estate
agent like I asked you to?
811
00:37:30,543 --> 00:37:33,513
Called the real estate agent.
I... I left a message for him.
812
00:37:33,546 --> 00:37:36,383
Look, Carl, I'll call him,
just like I do
813
00:37:36,416 --> 00:37:38,518
- everything else around here, okay?
- Oh-oh.
814
00:37:38,551 --> 00:37:41,254
But you know what, we need to talk
tonight when I get home from work.
815
00:37:41,288 --> 00:37:43,123
Oh-oh.
816
00:37:43,156 --> 00:37:45,125
- Babe, don't do that.
- I gotta go to work.
817
00:37:45,158 --> 00:37:46,859
- She's gonna cheat on you.
- Shut up, Cronut.
818
00:37:46,892 --> 00:37:47,993
It's me, baby.
819
00:37:48,028 --> 00:37:49,362
- Yeah.
- Babe.
820
00:37:50,563 --> 00:37:53,033
Yeah, she gonna cheat on you.
821
00:37:54,434 --> 00:37:56,069
I'm gonna cheat on you.
822
00:37:56,102 --> 00:37:58,371
Carl. Carl.
823
00:37:59,905 --> 00:38:01,141
Carl!
824
00:38:01,174 --> 00:38:03,008
- Carl!
- What?
825
00:38:03,043 --> 00:38:04,943
Gotta listen to me.
You gotta hear me out for real.
826
00:38:04,977 --> 00:38:06,945
I know you're going
through a lot.
827
00:38:06,979 --> 00:38:09,182
I know your old lady trippin',
I know your daughter trippin',
828
00:38:09,215 --> 00:38:10,483
I know you have
a writer's block,
829
00:38:10,517 --> 00:38:12,419
but please, bro,
just listen to me.
830
00:38:12,452 --> 00:38:15,488
Go home. All right?
It's over.
831
00:38:15,522 --> 00:38:17,257
I'm movin' the fuck
out of this house.
832
00:38:17,290 --> 00:38:19,326
This our house!
We can't let him move us out.
833
00:38:19,359 --> 00:38:21,494
- I don't wannna hear that shit.
- I gotta tell you this for real.
834
00:38:21,528 --> 00:38:24,431
Guess what I found while you
was talking to the pimp vampire?
835
00:38:24,464 --> 00:38:26,566
These Rico glasses, man.
They probably got him.
836
00:38:26,599 --> 00:38:29,235
They done... they done drunk all
his blood and everything, man.
837
00:38:29,269 --> 00:38:31,538
Stop! That motherfucker
just tried to play me.
838
00:38:31,571 --> 00:38:32,971
He's going to jail.
839
00:38:33,005 --> 00:38:35,208
Three hots and a cot,
he's going to jail.
840
00:38:35,241 --> 00:38:37,310
So, what you
gonna do about it?
841
00:38:37,344 --> 00:38:39,379
The little motherfucker's going to jail
for pimping and pandering around here.
842
00:38:39,412 --> 00:38:40,946
What you mean,
what I'm gonna do?
843
00:38:40,979 --> 00:38:43,949
Police ain't never arrestin'
no goddamn vampire.
844
00:38:43,982 --> 00:38:45,652
That's shit, okay?
845
00:38:45,685 --> 00:38:48,088
Did you see he floated down the stairs?
846
00:38:48,121 --> 00:38:49,556
You didn't see him float?
847
00:38:49,589 --> 00:38:51,391
911,
what's your emergency?
848
00:38:51,424 --> 00:38:53,493
Yes, I have
a problem here.
849
00:38:53,526 --> 00:38:56,162
Um,
I'm a new neighbor
850
00:38:56,196 --> 00:38:58,131
that just moved
in the neighborhood.
851
00:38:58,164 --> 00:39:00,066
As you can tell,
I'm Caucasian.
852
00:39:00,100 --> 00:39:02,602
And there's
a real peculiar guy.
853
00:39:02,635 --> 00:39:04,604
- Is he Black? Okay.
- Yes, he's Black.
854
00:39:04,637 --> 00:39:06,172
We'll send over
five units right away.
855
00:39:06,206 --> 00:39:07,607
Okay, you'll be here
in a second?
856
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:09,676
- Right away.
- Thank you.
857
00:39:09,709 --> 00:39:13,046
That's how you do that.
858
00:39:13,079 --> 00:39:14,414
He's going to jail.
859
00:39:24,290 --> 00:39:26,159
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, fall back, fall back.
860
00:39:26,192 --> 00:39:28,161
- What's going on?
- I'm the lead cop on this.
861
00:39:28,194 --> 00:39:30,363
- Laced, you're a rookie.
- Listen, I'm just tryin' to have some fun.
862
00:39:30,397 --> 00:39:32,432
I said
fall back, man.
863
00:39:32,465 --> 00:39:34,200
Listen, I got my gun.
I'm going to this house to have some fun.
864
00:39:34,234 --> 00:39:35,468
Do my thing.
865
00:39:37,036 --> 00:39:39,506
All right. Go ahead.
Handle this.
866
00:39:39,539 --> 00:39:41,207
What kind of spooky shit
is this?
867
00:39:41,241 --> 00:39:44,043
First time bein' a cop.
This is gonna be a breeze.
868
00:39:44,077 --> 00:39:46,112
That like a old couple
relationship.
869
00:39:52,152 --> 00:39:53,520
Come on out of there
870
00:39:53,553 --> 00:39:55,455
- before I put a hot one in your ass!
- Hold on.
871
00:39:55,488 --> 00:39:56,723
There'll be no gun violence.
Put your gun down. This is my first day.
872
00:39:56,756 --> 00:39:58,458
Shut up and stop
being a little bitch.
873
00:40:03,163 --> 00:40:05,298
Two of them in up
there, weird as hell.
874
00:40:05,331 --> 00:40:07,233
Lock his ass up.
875
00:40:07,267 --> 00:40:08,368
He got Rico.
876
00:40:11,171 --> 00:40:14,374
- Police.
- Good heavens! What is all the fuss?
877
00:40:14,407 --> 00:40:17,610
Oh, a father
and son team, splendid.
878
00:40:17,644 --> 00:40:19,679
What may I do for you,
dark-skinned Hutch?
879
00:40:19,712 --> 00:40:22,449
Listen, big fella.
Dude down there saying y'all been involved
880
00:40:22,482 --> 00:40:24,617
in the kidnappin' of the
neighborhood watch captain?
881
00:40:24,651 --> 00:40:25,984
Rico.
882
00:40:26,018 --> 00:40:27,320
- So y'all kidnap him?
- Yeah.
883
00:40:27,353 --> 00:40:28,521
And I heard you got hoes
all up in through there.
884
00:40:28,555 --> 00:40:29,689
Y'all freaky-freaky, huh?
885
00:40:29,722 --> 00:40:31,324
Not at all, sir.
886
00:40:31,357 --> 00:40:33,660
This is the residence
of Dr. Mamuwalde.
887
00:40:33,693 --> 00:40:36,429
- Mama-who?
- Can't a man pimp in peace?
888
00:40:38,264 --> 00:40:40,700
The name is
Dr. Mamuwalde.
889
00:40:42,235 --> 00:40:44,204
- Shit.
- He trippin'-trippin'.
890
00:40:44,237 --> 00:40:46,105
I hope they get
his ass, man.
891
00:40:46,139 --> 00:40:47,774
Listen, big fella,
do you mind if I have a look inside,
892
00:40:47,807 --> 00:40:49,409
see what's going on
see what I can steal?
893
00:40:49,442 --> 00:40:51,177
I mean, just see what's
going on in the house.
894
00:40:51,211 --> 00:40:54,414
Absolutely. My house
is your house, officer.
895
00:40:54,447 --> 00:40:56,216
Feel free to look around
896
00:40:56,249 --> 00:40:59,486
- as soon as you present your warrant.
- He trippin'.
897
00:40:59,519 --> 00:41:01,287
- Warrant?
- Yes, warrant.
898
00:41:01,321 --> 00:41:04,123
What the fuck? You 'posed to
be an expert on the law now?
899
00:41:04,157 --> 00:41:07,126
I'm gonna show you what we do
with experts down here, hm?
900
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:08,528
Hold on, what you doing?
901
00:41:08,561 --> 00:41:10,597
No! Put the taser off!
Put the taser off!
902
00:41:10,630 --> 00:41:13,299
- You trippin'-trippin'.
- Uh-huh, bust him. Bust him.
903
00:41:13,333 --> 00:41:15,535
- Put your taser off.
- Don't eyeball me, boy.
904
00:41:15,568 --> 00:41:17,237
Don't play with me.
905
00:41:17,270 --> 00:41:18,671
We just want to know if you
know about the whereabouts
906
00:41:18,705 --> 00:41:21,174
of this Rico guy.
Where is Rico?
907
00:41:21,207 --> 00:41:24,477
You're the one supposed
to be looking
908
00:41:24,511 --> 00:41:27,380
for whoever you're
looking for, sir.
909
00:41:27,413 --> 00:41:30,617
I don't know who Rico is
and you can't make me.
910
00:41:30,650 --> 00:41:32,151
He's lying, man.
911
00:41:32,185 --> 00:41:33,786
How y'all gonna believe
912
00:41:33,820 --> 00:41:36,756
somebody dressed like
Dr. Seuss is what I'm sayin'?
913
00:41:36,789 --> 00:41:38,758
What do you do, sir?
For a living?
914
00:41:38,791 --> 00:41:42,595
Well, for a living,
I take fantasy and dreams
915
00:41:42,629 --> 00:41:45,665
and I make them
into reality.
916
00:41:45,698 --> 00:41:49,168
Let me tell you something,
creepy motherfucker. You got two options.
917
00:41:49,202 --> 00:41:53,339
Option A, we look around
inside this spooky motherfucker,
918
00:41:53,373 --> 00:41:55,642
or option B, we're gonna
arrest your ass,
919
00:41:55,675 --> 00:41:58,144
take you down to the precinct,
ask you a bunch of goddamn questions.
920
00:41:58,177 --> 00:42:00,680
He's going to jail. That's
what I'm talking about.
921
00:42:00,713 --> 00:42:03,149
I'll take... I haven't even
chosen my options.
922
00:42:03,182 --> 00:42:04,784
Oh, we're gonna do it.
We're gonna take him now.
923
00:42:04,817 --> 00:42:07,387
Option A, I don't.
Option B...
924
00:42:07,420 --> 00:42:08,755
We're gonna take
you downtown, Midnite.
925
00:42:08,788 --> 00:42:10,490
Wait a minute.
926
00:42:10,523 --> 00:42:13,526
How can you call me "midnight"
as dark as you are...
927
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:16,095
- What? What did you say?
- ...ith all due respect, officer?
928
00:42:16,129 --> 00:42:19,132
Well, if I'm Midnight,
aren't you two Nights?
929
00:42:19,165 --> 00:42:21,200
There ain't shit you're gonna do about it.
Come on with your little...
930
00:42:21,234 --> 00:42:22,735
- Stop resisting.
- They're taking him to jail.
931
00:42:22,769 --> 00:42:24,771
That's what I'm talking about.
Do your job.
932
00:42:24,804 --> 00:42:27,206
This is definitely
Black on Black crime.
933
00:42:27,240 --> 00:42:29,342
Hey, I got it.
Take his Black ass down.
934
00:42:42,522 --> 00:42:43,856
Officer!
935
00:42:43,890 --> 00:42:45,725
I believe there's been
a misunderstanding.
936
00:42:47,860 --> 00:42:49,596
Do you mean this Rico?
937
00:42:54,867 --> 00:42:57,270
Rico, what the fuck
you doing in there?
938
00:42:57,303 --> 00:43:00,473
I'm fine. I was just
in the basement...
939
00:43:00,506 --> 00:43:02,275
They didn't fondle with you
down there, did they?
940
00:43:02,308 --> 00:43:03,676
They did me fine.
941
00:43:03,710 --> 00:43:06,779
- They served me fresh bananas.
- From Honduras.
942
00:43:06,813 --> 00:43:08,247
Bananas in the basement?
943
00:43:08,281 --> 00:43:09,916
They done brainwashed
his crazy ass.
944
00:43:09,949 --> 00:43:11,317
They did more
than brainwashing.
945
00:43:11,351 --> 00:43:13,252
Somethin' ain't
right with him.
946
00:43:26,933 --> 00:43:29,802
Come to me, Lorena.
947
00:43:37,710 --> 00:43:40,313
Come to me, Lorena.
948
00:43:41,447 --> 00:43:43,783
I've been searching for you.
949
00:43:45,785 --> 00:43:51,424
Are you feeling my breath
upon your corpuscle?
950
00:44:01,768 --> 00:44:03,603
What kind
of cop shit is this?
951
00:44:03,636 --> 00:44:04,937
Y'all let him go?
952
00:44:04,971 --> 00:44:07,507
Mr. Black, you call us
down here again
953
00:44:07,540 --> 00:44:08,775
and waste our damn time,
954
00:44:08,808 --> 00:44:11,377
I'm gonna take
your ashy ass to jail.
955
00:44:11,411 --> 00:44:12,912
We cop cops.
This ain't no damn joke!
956
00:44:12,945 --> 00:44:15,415
Man, if you don't get
your retarded ass...
957
00:44:15,448 --> 00:44:18,785
You better watch your mouth, before I
stick these goddamn handcuffs up your ass.
958
00:44:18,818 --> 00:44:20,920
Don't eyeball me, boy.
959
00:44:20,953 --> 00:44:22,789
Let's go.
960
00:44:24,824 --> 00:44:27,560
Carl, why are you
here with the police?
961
00:44:27,593 --> 00:44:29,395
What did the neighbor
do to you?
962
00:44:29,429 --> 00:44:31,831
This is what happens when you
keep messing with the neighbors.
963
00:44:31,864 --> 00:44:33,433
Why are you blamin'
him for everything?
964
00:44:33,466 --> 00:44:35,368
Because clearly, I see
you out here too.
965
00:44:35,401 --> 00:44:37,570
For real, this is your plan.
Don't try to put this on me.
966
00:44:37,603 --> 00:44:39,439
- We're movin' out.
- What do you mean? Wait!
967
00:44:39,472 --> 00:44:41,274
- Without you.
- How you gonna move out without me?
968
00:44:41,307 --> 00:44:42,809
- We family.
- No. We not family.
969
00:44:42,842 --> 00:44:44,711
You're just my cousin
that fucks up everything.
970
00:44:44,744 --> 00:44:45,878
- That's family.
- You know what?
971
00:44:45,912 --> 00:44:48,247
I'm tired of you
always blamin' him.
972
00:44:48,281 --> 00:44:50,583
Look right here. This is what it's
about, me and you. You're messing up.
973
00:44:58,658 --> 00:45:00,760
- Babe. I can explain.
- You should be ashamed of yourself.
974
00:45:00,793 --> 00:45:04,297
The motherfucker was trying to
disrespect me in front of my daughter.
975
00:45:04,330 --> 00:45:06,699
I'm tired of you
embarrassing our family.
976
00:45:08,367 --> 00:45:10,303
You owe that man
an apology.
977
00:45:10,336 --> 00:45:11,838
Babe...
978
00:45:13,473 --> 00:45:15,908
I don't know
if this is it for us.
979
00:45:15,942 --> 00:45:19,746
I used to think it was the house,
the neighborhood, your book.
980
00:45:19,779 --> 00:45:22,415
But it's not.
981
00:45:22,448 --> 00:45:25,017
It's you.
982
00:45:25,052 --> 00:45:26,819
It's you and I
that don't work.
983
00:45:32,492 --> 00:45:35,962
I got to go back to work.
So you figure that out.
984
00:45:37,797 --> 00:45:41,300
I'll apologize.
I'll go apologize.
985
00:45:41,334 --> 00:45:44,737
I don't have a problem
apologizing to him.
986
00:45:44,771 --> 00:45:47,406
Attack and bring me my wife.
987
00:45:48,975 --> 00:45:51,010
Right this
way, Mr. Black.
988
00:45:51,044 --> 00:45:53,479
The good doctor'll be here
to deal with you shortly.
989
00:45:53,513 --> 00:45:55,548
Hey, man. Did you
just change your accent?
990
00:45:55,581 --> 00:45:58,718
Where'd he go? What the fuck
was he saying?
991
00:46:00,553 --> 00:46:02,655
Wow.
992
00:46:02,688 --> 00:46:03,890
It's nice, though.
993
00:46:07,393 --> 00:46:08,661
- Carl Black.
- Hey!
994
00:46:08,694 --> 00:46:11,531
What the fuck!
Jesus, Buddha, Allah!
995
00:46:13,066 --> 00:46:15,368
Is every place in here creepy?
996
00:46:15,401 --> 00:46:18,071
I thought I smelled
failure in here.
997
00:46:18,105 --> 00:46:22,508
And I thought I smelled Celine
Dion's wig also in here.
998
00:46:22,542 --> 00:46:24,944
You're a funny
motherfucker, Carl.
999
00:46:24,977 --> 00:46:28,581
And I don't just mean that
dumb expression on your face.
1000
00:46:28,614 --> 00:46:32,119
Yeah? Well, look,
let me be straight up with you, all right?
1001
00:46:32,152 --> 00:46:33,686
- Thank you.
- I don't like you.
1002
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:34,887
First time I seen you,
1003
00:46:34,921 --> 00:46:37,124
- just didn't like you.
- Okay.
1004
00:46:37,157 --> 00:46:41,394
My wife sent me over here to apologize
to you and that's what I want to do.
1005
00:46:41,427 --> 00:46:43,896
I want to apologize,
but I just want to let you know,
1006
00:46:43,930 --> 00:46:46,399
I don't give a fuck.
1007
00:46:46,432 --> 00:46:47,767
We getting the fuck out
of this neighborhood.
1008
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:50,403
Well, that's very
interesting, Green Lantern,
1009
00:46:50,436 --> 00:46:52,572
but you can't leave
just yet.
1010
00:46:52,605 --> 00:46:54,074
Oh, yes, I can! Shit!
1011
00:46:54,107 --> 00:46:55,575
My lease is up next month.
1012
00:46:57,777 --> 00:46:58,878
What's this?
1013
00:46:58,911 --> 00:47:00,780
There's something
I want from you
1014
00:47:00,813 --> 00:47:02,949
and you're not
leaving until I get it.
1015
00:47:02,982 --> 00:47:05,885
Man, I hope it's my nuts
for these girls.
1016
00:47:05,918 --> 00:47:07,453
No!
1017
00:47:09,122 --> 00:47:12,692
My book.
You like my book?
1018
00:47:12,725 --> 00:47:14,927
I told you I was a fan
of your book.
1019
00:47:14,961 --> 00:47:17,396
- That is crazy.
- It was magnificent.
1020
00:47:17,430 --> 00:47:18,598
You like my book.
1021
00:47:18,631 --> 00:47:20,700
I like you
and your family, Carl.
1022
00:47:20,733 --> 00:47:21,934
And not everybody
in my family
1023
00:47:21,968 --> 00:47:23,970
agreed with you moving in
next door to us.
1024
00:47:24,003 --> 00:47:25,705
Your wife.
1025
00:47:25,738 --> 00:47:28,007
My wife? Lorena?
1026
00:47:28,041 --> 00:47:29,609
Lorena.
1027
00:47:29,642 --> 00:47:32,778
Oh, no. She ain't...
she ain't into no pimping shit.
1028
00:47:32,812 --> 00:47:35,082
She ain't into no pimping shit
and I ain't either, okay?
1029
00:47:35,115 --> 00:47:36,782
Tried it, didn't like it.
1030
00:47:36,816 --> 00:47:40,920
And my daughter?
That's off limits.
1031
00:47:40,953 --> 00:47:43,689
You're too grown to be messing
with anybody's daughter.
1032
00:47:43,723 --> 00:47:45,658
Ain't no man gonna let you
mess with they daughter.
1033
00:47:45,691 --> 00:47:48,861
She's still a little girl.
She's still doing Juicy Juices.
1034
00:47:48,895 --> 00:47:51,631
She's not a grown lady.
She don't know what YAK is,
1035
00:47:51,664 --> 00:47:53,566
nor does she know
what Gray Goose is.
1036
00:47:53,599 --> 00:47:57,137
I had no idea how old she was.
She was my size.
1037
00:47:57,170 --> 00:47:59,639
Keep your little
one, two, three, four, five,
1038
00:47:59,672 --> 00:48:03,210
six, seven, eight, nine,
ten, eleven, twelve fingers
1039
00:48:03,243 --> 00:48:05,544
away from my daughter,
blah-blah.
1040
00:48:05,578 --> 00:48:06,779
Big mistake.
1041
00:48:06,812 --> 00:48:08,115
Don't fuck with my daughter.
1042
00:48:08,148 --> 00:48:10,583
And Cronut,
he's a character.
1043
00:48:10,616 --> 00:48:12,485
Oh, Cronut?
You can have him.
1044
00:48:12,518 --> 00:48:15,788
Ugh. No one wants Cronut.
1045
00:48:15,821 --> 00:48:17,124
You can fuck him
if you want.
1046
00:48:18,724 --> 00:48:21,128
He's crazy.
He's the one that think
1047
00:48:21,161 --> 00:48:24,864
Michael Jackson and Biggie
and Tupac is still living,
1048
00:48:24,897 --> 00:48:27,533
and-and thinks O.J.
didn't do it.
1049
00:48:27,566 --> 00:48:29,169
He's got a whole lot
of shit in his head.
1050
00:48:29,202 --> 00:48:32,039
And he gave me some crazy
theories about you too.
1051
00:48:32,072 --> 00:48:35,808
I'mma go ahead and sign this autograph
'fore I can get on out of here.
1052
00:48:37,877 --> 00:48:40,780
And what was his theory
about me?
1053
00:48:40,813 --> 00:48:44,617
We still don't know why you
moved in the neighborhood...
1054
00:49:01,867 --> 00:49:05,172
What the fuck!
What's wrong with you?
1055
00:49:05,205 --> 00:49:08,208
Egad, Carl Black.
1056
00:49:08,241 --> 00:49:10,876
Do I detect hostility
in your voice?
1057
00:49:10,910 --> 00:49:12,545
I thought we were cool now.
1058
00:49:12,578 --> 00:49:13,846
No, we're not cool!
1059
00:49:13,879 --> 00:49:17,750
And you do detect
hostility in my voice.
1060
00:49:17,783 --> 00:49:20,220
You got a picture of my wife
naked on your fucking wall!
1061
00:49:20,253 --> 00:49:22,189
I ain't even got
a picture of this bitch.
1062
00:49:22,222 --> 00:49:24,523
- Did you photoshop the picture?
- No.
1063
00:49:25,958 --> 00:49:27,127
No, that's her.
1064
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:31,231
I bet I know what Cronut
thinks about me.
1065
00:49:31,264 --> 00:49:33,799
You know what?
1066
00:49:33,833 --> 00:49:37,237
He was right.
1067
00:50:00,227 --> 00:50:02,062
What are you doing?
1068
00:50:02,095 --> 00:50:03,829
Be quiet.
I know what I'm doing.
1069
00:50:03,863 --> 00:50:05,664
Would you...
Dad, come on.
1070
00:50:05,698 --> 00:50:07,767
Son, I got something
I need to talk to you about.
1071
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:09,568
All right.
1072
00:50:09,602 --> 00:50:11,971
We got a vampire living next door!
I've seen him!
1073
00:50:12,004 --> 00:50:14,940
- Hey, that's cool!
- I think I've seen that dude.
1074
00:50:14,974 --> 00:50:16,709
What's so...
What the fuck is wrong...
1075
00:50:16,742 --> 00:50:18,111
What's cool about that?
1076
00:50:18,145 --> 00:50:20,880
Dad, Dad, just relax.
Just call the cops.
1077
00:50:20,913 --> 00:50:22,215
I can't call the cops.
1078
00:50:22,249 --> 00:50:24,084
Okay, everybody knows
the vampire rules.
1079
00:50:24,117 --> 00:50:25,885
Like, a vampire
cannot come in your house
1080
00:50:25,918 --> 00:50:28,321
unless you invite him in.
Did you invite him in?
1081
00:50:28,355 --> 00:50:30,123
- No. I didn't invite him in.
- All right.
1082
00:50:30,157 --> 00:50:31,690
All right, then you're good.
That's good.
1083
00:50:31,724 --> 00:50:33,060
- I'm cool. Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1084
00:50:33,093 --> 00:50:34,660
Come on now.
Everybody knows that.
1085
00:50:34,693 --> 00:50:36,196
It's in literally
every vampire comic book.
1086
00:50:36,229 --> 00:50:37,297
Every one.
1087
00:50:37,330 --> 00:50:40,933
Oh, man.
You got some weed?
1088
00:50:40,966 --> 00:50:42,802
Dad, what?
Just leave. Just leave.
1089
00:50:44,037 --> 00:50:45,738
I know who got it.
1090
00:50:45,771 --> 00:50:47,773
No, he doesn't. He's kidding.
Bro, shut up.
1091
00:50:47,807 --> 00:50:49,276
- A dime bag? Twenty?
- No, no. Leave. Leave. He's kidding.
1092
00:50:49,309 --> 00:50:51,777
He's kidding. He's kidding.
Go take a nap.
1093
00:50:51,811 --> 00:50:54,047
- But I do.
- Just be quiet. Just stop.
1094
00:51:03,290 --> 00:51:05,624
I'm gonna watch you
all night, motherfucker.
1095
00:51:36,423 --> 00:51:38,924
Don't invite him in.
1096
00:51:47,367 --> 00:51:49,269
Oh, shit.
1097
00:51:54,940 --> 00:51:56,109
Give me your money.
1098
00:51:56,143 --> 00:51:57,776
Please don't hurt me.
1099
00:51:57,810 --> 00:51:59,146
Please don't hurt...
1100
00:52:23,802 --> 00:52:25,838
Hi, Carl.
1101
00:52:31,977 --> 00:52:34,181
No.
1102
00:52:35,448 --> 00:52:37,284
No.
I'm being serious.
1103
00:52:37,317 --> 00:52:41,188
I'm telling you, it's been an
interesting week and I apologize.
1104
00:52:41,221 --> 00:52:44,257
I feel the timing of it all
is pretty, um, special,
1105
00:52:44,291 --> 00:52:47,960
that you would... I don't know where
you came from, but I appreciate it.
1106
00:52:47,993 --> 00:52:51,231
And I think it's important
that we met tonight
1107
00:52:51,264 --> 00:52:53,400
because I wanted to really
apologize for the other night.
1108
00:52:53,433 --> 00:52:56,069
I know my husband
was in there tonight.
1109
00:52:56,102 --> 00:52:58,737
Is everything okay?
Mamuwalde, right?
1110
00:52:58,771 --> 00:53:01,740
I have to, um, really
get this out,
1111
00:53:01,774 --> 00:53:05,178
because I feel like I'm having a little
bit of an out-of-body experience,
1112
00:53:05,212 --> 00:53:09,149
because I typically don't invite
complete strangers into my house
1113
00:53:09,182 --> 00:53:12,419
to have a glass of wine.
In this case...
1114
00:53:12,452 --> 00:53:14,354
Don't invite him in.
1115
00:53:18,491 --> 00:53:20,960
- Hey.
- Thank you. I appreciate that.
1116
00:53:22,995 --> 00:53:24,364
What you doing?
1117
00:53:24,397 --> 00:53:26,132
Baby, hi.
Hi. Were you sleeping?
1118
00:53:26,166 --> 00:53:29,269
What is he doing here?
He's not supposed to be here.
1119
00:53:29,302 --> 00:53:32,172
Where are your manners, baby?
This is Dr. Mamuwalde.
1120
00:53:32,205 --> 00:53:34,307
- Our neighbor from earlier...
- I know what you doing!
1121
00:53:34,341 --> 00:53:36,176
Yes, where are
your manners, baby?
1122
00:53:36,209 --> 00:53:38,144
He's not supposed
to be in this house.
1123
00:53:38,178 --> 00:53:40,012
I invited him to have
a glass of wine with me
1124
00:53:40,046 --> 00:53:41,780
because if anything,
we owe him a thank you.
1125
00:53:41,814 --> 00:53:43,450
- I don't wanna hear all that.
- If it wasn't for our neighbor,
1126
00:53:43,483 --> 00:53:45,051
I would have gotten
mugged tonight.
1127
00:53:45,085 --> 00:53:47,187
You got mugged?
1128
00:53:47,220 --> 00:53:48,854
He swooped... Where did you come from?
Where? How did you get there?
1129
00:53:48,887 --> 00:53:51,157
- Swooped.
- What happened?
1130
00:53:51,191 --> 00:53:55,095
Fortunately for you, I happened to be in
the area looking for a late-night snack
1131
00:53:55,128 --> 00:53:59,032
and happened to stumble
upon your tastiness.
1132
00:53:59,065 --> 00:54:00,500
He's not supposed
to be in our home.
1133
00:54:00,533 --> 00:54:02,835
He was not invited by no one.
1134
00:54:02,868 --> 00:54:04,903
Under ordinary circumstances,
1135
00:54:04,937 --> 00:54:07,107
Carl Black here
would be right,
1136
00:54:07,140 --> 00:54:09,975
- but I was invited, Carl.
- You know the rules.
1137
00:54:10,009 --> 00:54:12,512
- His kind is not invited in our house.
- Listen...
1138
00:54:12,545 --> 00:54:14,880
- My kind?
- Yeah.
1139
00:54:14,913 --> 00:54:18,451
That is a racist
statement, Negro.
1140
00:54:18,485 --> 00:54:20,553
I'll have you know,
1141
00:54:20,587 --> 00:54:24,524
in this age of divisiveness
and bigotry,
1142
00:54:24,557 --> 00:54:27,026
we can't do this
to each other.
1143
00:54:28,194 --> 00:54:29,362
Sheesh!
1144
00:54:29,396 --> 00:54:31,531
Yes. Baby, listen,
please just calm down.
1145
00:54:31,564 --> 00:54:33,566
We got a real live
vampire in my house
1146
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:35,101
and you're telling me
to calm down?
1147
00:54:35,135 --> 00:54:37,404
If I had a wife as fine
as yours,
1148
00:54:37,437 --> 00:54:40,140
I'd never let her out
of my sight.
1149
00:54:40,173 --> 00:54:42,575
Hey, man! What-what-what
you doing? You can't do that, man.
1150
00:54:42,609 --> 00:54:44,311
What the fuck!
What if I grab your hair, man?
1151
00:54:44,344 --> 00:54:48,013
Do not...
1152
00:54:48,048 --> 00:54:50,883
touch my hair,
Carl Black.
1153
00:54:50,916 --> 00:54:52,285
You got two Bo Derek braids
1154
00:54:52,319 --> 00:54:53,852
hanging on both
sides of your face
1155
00:54:53,886 --> 00:54:56,089
and you gon' touch
on my girl's shit.
1156
00:54:56,122 --> 00:54:58,358
Baby, just calm down, okay?
1157
00:54:58,391 --> 00:55:00,460
Okay, that's enough. That's enough.
1158
00:55:00,493 --> 00:55:02,562
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- What are you doing, Carl?
1159
00:55:02,595 --> 00:55:04,331
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it.
1160
00:55:04,364 --> 00:55:06,433
- Ouch!
- You know I'm clumsy a little bit.
1161
00:55:27,986 --> 00:55:31,157
That looks
exquisitely painful.
1162
00:55:31,191 --> 00:55:33,360
Ah-ah-ah. Go in there
and rinse your arm off.
1163
00:55:33,393 --> 00:55:35,128
- I got it, Carl. I got it.
- Yeah, you cut your hand
1164
00:55:35,161 --> 00:55:37,530
'cause you're standing up there
reckless eyeballing.
1165
00:55:37,564 --> 00:55:39,099
I got it.
Dr. Mamuwalde,
1166
00:55:39,132 --> 00:55:41,501
it was really,
really nice to meet you.
1167
00:55:41,534 --> 00:55:43,969
- Well, go wash your hand, baby. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Yeah, I'm...
1168
00:55:44,002 --> 00:55:45,138
Put a band-aid on it.
1169
00:55:45,171 --> 00:55:47,440
O-positive we'll see
each other again.
1170
00:55:47,474 --> 00:55:50,410
Listen, you little neglected
Harry Potter cast member,
1171
00:55:50,443 --> 00:55:52,345
let me tell you something.
1172
00:55:52,379 --> 00:55:55,582
That's my princess,
and that's my wife, and I love her.
1173
00:55:55,615 --> 00:55:57,650
You're not going
to destroy my family!
1174
00:55:57,684 --> 00:56:00,986
What do you intend
to do about it, Carl Black?
1175
00:56:01,019 --> 00:56:03,323
Install my cable,
motherfucker?
1176
00:56:03,356 --> 00:56:05,191
Nah.
1177
00:56:05,225 --> 00:56:09,995
I'm gonna pimp-slap the shit
out of your ass, motherfucker!
1178
00:56:13,099 --> 00:56:14,401
Damn, you're strong!
1179
00:56:14,434 --> 00:56:18,204
Let me tell you
a little story.
1180
00:56:20,240 --> 00:56:24,177
I've been looking
for Lorena for centuries.
1181
00:56:24,210 --> 00:56:29,014
I first laid eyes on that fine
young thing in the Caribbean.
1182
00:56:29,048 --> 00:56:32,485
Lost her, found her again.
1183
00:56:32,519 --> 00:56:37,190
I've seen all types of women
in all shapes and sizes,
1184
00:56:37,223 --> 00:56:41,361
but none compare
to the governor's daughter.
1185
00:56:41,394 --> 00:56:43,096
We were in love
1186
00:56:43,129 --> 00:56:46,299
and I was finally
going to make her mine.
1187
00:56:59,612 --> 00:57:02,515
You were warned, vampire.
1188
00:57:03,383 --> 00:57:08,388
Tonight's the night
that I send your soul to hell!
1189
00:57:08,421 --> 00:57:10,390
Demon!
1190
00:57:10,423 --> 00:57:13,126
Come, woman.
1191
00:57:13,159 --> 00:57:15,395
No. No. No!
1192
00:57:15,428 --> 00:57:18,398
They took the love
of my life from me
1193
00:57:18,431 --> 00:57:22,602
and I have been looking for my
Puerto Rican princess ever since.
1194
00:57:26,639 --> 00:57:30,109
Go to hell, vampire.
1195
00:57:33,646 --> 00:57:36,616
They took my life.
1196
00:57:39,352 --> 00:57:41,287
Man, that was a cool story!
1197
00:57:41,321 --> 00:57:46,059
But the real fact is,
is that's my wife, and I love her.
1198
00:57:46,092 --> 00:57:47,660
And you're not gonna
destroy my family.
1199
00:57:47,694 --> 00:57:51,264
You're doing a pretty
good job of that yourself.
1200
00:57:51,297 --> 00:57:52,699
What the fuck?
1201
00:57:52,732 --> 00:57:54,634
She will be mine.
1202
00:57:58,071 --> 00:58:00,406
No, no!
1203
00:58:01,708 --> 00:58:03,276
Mine...
1204
00:58:03,309 --> 00:58:04,777
Carl Black!
1205
00:58:13,786 --> 00:58:16,723
The authorities
are still in shambles
1206
00:58:16,756 --> 00:58:19,058
as they scurry about for clues
1207
00:58:19,092 --> 00:58:22,128
- in the murders of these prostitutes.
- Wow.
1208
00:58:22,161 --> 00:58:25,498
If anyone out there has any
information or any leads...
1209
00:58:25,532 --> 00:58:27,500
- Damn.
- ...feel free
1210
00:58:27,534 --> 00:58:30,537
to DM me personally at jack...
1211
00:58:30,570 --> 00:58:33,106
Hey, babe. Hey, hey.
1212
00:58:33,139 --> 00:58:35,475
- How's your arm?
- It's better. It's feeling good.
1213
00:58:35,508 --> 00:58:37,610
- I gotta go to work. What?
- No!
1214
00:58:37,644 --> 00:58:39,112
- Why you gotta go to work?
- Because you put me in this situation.
1215
00:58:39,145 --> 00:58:40,346
I got to go to work
to pay the bills.
1216
00:58:40,380 --> 00:58:42,749
Let me pay you
for the night.
1217
00:58:42,782 --> 00:58:45,151
You can't afford me
for the night.
1218
00:58:46,419 --> 00:58:48,588
- Listen, I love you.
- I know.
1219
00:58:48,621 --> 00:58:50,690
I-I just want to get you guys
out of this neighborhood.
1220
00:58:50,723 --> 00:58:53,126
Okay. Wait, wait,
call me crazy.
1221
00:58:53,159 --> 00:58:55,361
I-I'm just throwing
this out there.
1222
00:58:55,395 --> 00:58:57,830
I'm having second thoughts
about selling the house.
1223
00:58:57,864 --> 00:58:59,532
- What?
- I don't know,
1224
00:58:59,566 --> 00:59:01,568
ever since I met
the neighbor last night,
1225
00:59:01,601 --> 00:59:04,871
- the way that he was helping me or the way that he...
- Hey, hey.
1226
00:59:04,904 --> 00:59:08,341
- No, but maybe it's not such a bad neighborhood, babe.
- No, no, no, no, no. No!
1227
00:59:08,374 --> 00:59:10,310
- Wait, wait. He's a nice guy.
- Baby, listen. No! That... no.
1228
00:59:10,343 --> 00:59:12,679
He's not no fucking nice...
what did I tell you about liking people?
1229
00:59:12,712 --> 00:59:14,781
- Liking?
- You always liking somebody.
1230
00:59:14,814 --> 00:59:17,116
- No! Hey!
- He saved me.
1231
00:59:17,150 --> 00:59:18,651
Relax. Let's put
this to rest
1232
00:59:18,685 --> 00:59:20,353
until I come home
from work tonight, okay?
1233
00:59:20,386 --> 00:59:22,155
And we can talk
about it then.
1234
00:59:22,188 --> 00:59:24,624
- I got something I want to tell you.
- What?
1235
00:59:24,657 --> 00:59:26,259
The next-door neighbor...
1236
00:59:26,292 --> 00:59:27,827
- Yeah?
- He's a vampire.
1237
00:59:27,860 --> 00:59:29,362
A vampire.
1238
00:59:29,395 --> 00:59:30,863
- He's a fucking vampire.
- Okay.
1239
00:59:30,897 --> 00:59:32,865
A vampire.
You're crazy.
1240
00:59:32,899 --> 00:59:34,133
You're just jealous.
1241
00:59:37,537 --> 00:59:40,640
Cronut, let me in.
There's a vampire living next door.
1242
00:59:55,755 --> 00:59:57,190
Cronut?
1243
01:00:01,728 --> 01:00:02,695
Eww.
1244
01:00:08,901 --> 01:00:11,404
What's wrong with you?
Die, vampire!
1245
01:00:11,437 --> 01:00:14,307
- Die, vampire! Die!
- Let me go. Let me go. Let me go!
1246
01:00:14,340 --> 01:00:16,442
Get up off of me, man.
1247
01:00:16,476 --> 01:00:18,344
Fuck you doing in my house all uninvited?
I didn't invite you in here.
1248
01:00:18,378 --> 01:00:19,846
Why you sneaking up
on me like that?
1249
01:00:19,879 --> 01:00:22,315
Why am I sneaking up on you?
This is my house!
1250
01:00:22,348 --> 01:00:23,549
Fuck you doing
up in my house?
1251
01:00:23,583 --> 01:00:24,851
I thought you won't fuck
with me no more.
1252
01:00:24,884 --> 01:00:26,285
Whoa.
1253
01:00:26,319 --> 01:00:27,620
Why you got
them damn glasses on?
1254
01:00:27,654 --> 01:00:29,188
Why you care?
You don't like 'em?
1255
01:00:29,222 --> 01:00:30,456
They don't go
with my 'fit?
1256
01:00:30,490 --> 01:00:32,225
- No.
- What... what you want?
1257
01:00:32,258 --> 01:00:34,694
Shit. I, well, I just...
1258
01:00:34,727 --> 01:00:36,496
Hey, man, look.
1259
01:00:36,529 --> 01:00:38,231
All right.
You was right.
1260
01:00:38,264 --> 01:00:40,700
We do have a creature
living next door to us.
1261
01:00:40,733 --> 01:00:42,468
It's a real vampire, man.
1262
01:00:42,502 --> 01:00:43,803
I seen his teeth!
1263
01:00:43,836 --> 01:00:46,873
I thought you was lying
at first, but he's real.
1264
01:00:46,906 --> 01:00:49,709
And he already got Allie,
and I don't want him to get my wife!
1265
01:00:49,742 --> 01:00:51,511
And?
1266
01:00:51,544 --> 01:00:54,280
And that's about the closest
to an apology you gon' get.
1267
01:00:54,313 --> 01:00:56,249
I've been
doing my research
1268
01:00:56,282 --> 01:00:57,884
and what I came up with?
1269
01:00:57,917 --> 01:00:59,652
That house right over there?
1270
01:00:59,686 --> 01:01:01,954
It's a master vampire over
there, and that's the nest.
1271
01:01:01,988 --> 01:01:03,456
And we should kill him.
1272
01:01:03,489 --> 01:01:05,692
- What?
- We should kill him.
1273
01:01:05,725 --> 01:01:07,894
We, we.
That's French. We?
1274
01:01:07,927 --> 01:01:10,797
Yes, it is we.
Ain't no I in us.
1275
01:01:10,830 --> 01:01:14,367
It's we. Me and you.
We family.
1276
01:01:14,400 --> 01:01:16,602
Yeah.
Whatever.
1277
01:01:16,636 --> 01:01:18,471
We should kill
that motherfucker.
1278
01:01:18,504 --> 01:01:20,339
Let's bury him
in the ground, man.
1279
01:01:20,373 --> 01:01:21,641
Just leave his head out
1280
01:01:21,674 --> 01:01:23,643
and just kick him
in the head all day.
1281
01:01:23,676 --> 01:01:25,678
Check this out.
What's my name?
1282
01:01:25,712 --> 01:01:27,747
- Cronut.
- No, what's my real name?
1283
01:01:27,780 --> 01:01:29,649
- Man, look, man. Stop playing.
- Mr. what?
1284
01:01:29,682 --> 01:01:31,451
- Mister?
- Mr. Right.
1285
01:01:31,484 --> 01:01:34,353
Mr. Right.
You want to get rid of the vampire?
1286
01:01:34,387 --> 01:01:37,290
- Yeah.
- Trust me. I made a call.
1287
01:01:40,493 --> 01:01:42,462
- Who is that? Is that Barack Obama?
- Trust me.
1288
01:01:42,495 --> 01:01:44,731
Not quite,
but close.
1289
01:01:49,569 --> 01:01:50,470
Oooh.
1290
01:01:53,306 --> 01:01:57,643
Oh. Did you see that African
booty scratcher come out of there?
1291
01:01:57,677 --> 01:01:58,978
- Yes.
- No!
1292
01:01:59,011 --> 01:02:01,314
- Yes.
- Why'd you call him?
1293
01:02:01,347 --> 01:02:02,849
- Just trust me.
- Oh, man.
1294
01:02:02,882 --> 01:02:04,817
- Have I ever let you down?
- Yeah, a million times.
1295
01:02:04,851 --> 01:02:06,786
Don't worry about that.
That don't count.
1296
01:02:06,819 --> 01:02:08,955
- Oh, man. Look how he dressed.
- It looks crazy.
1297
01:02:08,988 --> 01:02:10,590
- Don't worry about it.
- Whoopi Goldberg.
1298
01:02:10,623 --> 01:02:12,925
- You smell a vampire?
- Not yet, wait.
1299
01:02:12,959 --> 01:02:15,795
Right now,
I smell fear.
1300
01:02:15,828 --> 01:02:18,898
- Fear?
- And I smell broke-ass-ness
1301
01:02:18,931 --> 01:02:20,767
coming from this direction.
1302
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:23,536
- Broke-ass-ness?
- No, you smell your bottom lip.
1303
01:02:23,569 --> 01:02:25,004
Last but not least,
I smell...
1304
01:02:27,807 --> 01:02:29,909
two bitch-ass niggas.
1305
01:02:29,942 --> 01:02:32,612
That's why you called me to
save you like I did the Purge.
1306
01:02:32,645 --> 01:02:34,347
Saved me? You ain't
saved me from nothin'!
1307
01:02:34,380 --> 01:02:36,449
You better take
your Black ass off.
1308
01:02:36,482 --> 01:02:38,551
- Punk bitch nigga, you owe me money!
- I don't owe you nothin'.
1309
01:02:38,584 --> 01:02:40,787
You little dick bitch.
You pee on your boss.
1310
01:02:40,820 --> 01:02:43,422
- Fuck you too.
- I hope your wife get pregnant again
1311
01:02:43,456 --> 01:02:45,358
and I hope the baby
is not yours.
1312
01:02:45,391 --> 01:02:46,392
You kiss my ass!
1313
01:02:46,425 --> 01:02:47,727
Your mother,
your grandfather,
1314
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:49,629
your uncles are all
the same nigga.
1315
01:02:49,662 --> 01:02:51,397
I know you work
for that cab company.
1316
01:02:51,430 --> 01:02:53,100
You need to get back in there
and drive that cab, so...
1317
01:02:53,133 --> 01:02:54,767
- Carl Black, you owe me money!
- Hey, hey, hey.
1318
01:02:54,801 --> 01:02:56,769
Calm down, calm down. I got it.
I got it, calm down.
1319
01:02:56,803 --> 01:02:58,671
- This nigga is pissing me off.
- If you calm down a little
1320
01:02:58,704 --> 01:03:00,773
- for a second. Look...
- Don't you hit my head.
1321
01:03:00,807 --> 01:03:02,942
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey.
1322
01:03:02,975 --> 01:03:05,578
Look, I promised him I'd show
him some crazy spooky shit
1323
01:03:05,611 --> 01:03:08,048
if I recorded it and put it
on his live TV show.
1324
01:03:08,081 --> 01:03:09,682
- On YouTube?
- Yeah.
1325
01:03:09,715 --> 01:03:10,917
- You ain't got no followers.
- He's popular.
1326
01:03:10,950 --> 01:03:13,053
Five hundred thousand
subscribers.
1327
01:03:13,086 --> 01:03:15,454
I got a live vampire
livin' next door to me.
1328
01:03:15,488 --> 01:03:16,422
That's what I got.
1329
01:03:16,455 --> 01:03:17,924
Nigga,
that's why I'm here.
1330
01:03:17,957 --> 01:03:19,392
- That's why I brought these!
- Hey, hey!
1331
01:03:19,425 --> 01:03:21,061
Put your leftovers down, man.
1332
01:03:21,094 --> 01:03:24,730
You must listen to me because
I am a vampire slayer.
1333
01:03:24,764 --> 01:03:26,766
The vampires
are very dangerous.
1334
01:03:26,799 --> 01:03:28,801
They will kill you.
1335
01:03:28,835 --> 01:03:32,039
He will suck your blood.
He could be after your wife.
1336
01:03:32,072 --> 01:03:34,407
You have a wife. I know that.
I've seen her.
1337
01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:36,043
She have a nice ass.
No disrespect.
1338
01:03:36,076 --> 01:03:38,010
Tell me about these niggas,
please. What did he look like?
1339
01:03:38,045 --> 01:03:40,012
He's bite-size,
he's real short.
1340
01:03:40,047 --> 01:03:41,547
How short is he?
1341
01:03:41,581 --> 01:03:43,516
He's short. He's... he's,
you know, he's...
1342
01:03:43,549 --> 01:03:45,017
Between you and this nigga,
where is he?
1343
01:03:45,052 --> 01:03:46,619
Like this way? This way?
That way? Under the table?
1344
01:03:46,652 --> 01:03:48,387
- Pocket size.
- Pocket size nigga?
1345
01:03:48,421 --> 01:03:49,956
He got like a little perm.
1346
01:03:49,989 --> 01:03:52,159
He looked like that
little man on the dime.
1347
01:03:52,192 --> 01:03:53,893
- What dime?
- The dime.
1348
01:03:53,926 --> 01:03:55,962
- The dime, motherfucker. The dime.
- Dime. Ten cents.
1349
01:03:55,995 --> 01:03:57,763
Ten cents a day,
like what you eat.
1350
01:03:57,797 --> 01:03:59,765
Shut the fuck up, little bitch nigga.
Fuck you.
1351
01:03:59,799 --> 01:04:02,435
If I had a choice
between the vampires,
1352
01:04:02,468 --> 01:04:04,904
the devil and Donald Trump,
1353
01:04:04,937 --> 01:04:06,973
I would take Donald Trump.
1354
01:04:07,006 --> 01:04:10,810
The question is now he's trying
to take your family away,
1355
01:04:10,843 --> 01:04:12,912
- what are you are gonna do?
- Hey, hey, hey!
1356
01:04:12,945 --> 01:04:15,082
We're not the vampire.
You don't have to keep putting that on us.
1357
01:04:15,115 --> 01:04:18,017
Don't be a bitch!
If I want to talk to a little nigga,
1358
01:04:18,051 --> 01:04:19,652
I go to Chuck E. Cheese.
1359
01:04:21,487 --> 01:04:23,456
Either you gon' help me,
or you gon' help me,
1360
01:04:23,489 --> 01:04:24,724
somebody's gonna help me
1361
01:04:24,757 --> 01:04:26,059
or I'm going up in there
with a wooden thing
1362
01:04:26,093 --> 01:04:28,027
- and I'm gonna stab him in the...
- Mm.
1363
01:04:28,061 --> 01:04:31,131
I'm telling you! You know how...
I'm going up in there and...
1364
01:04:31,164 --> 01:04:32,899
Hey!
1365
01:04:32,932 --> 01:04:34,967
- You guys are crazier'n shit!
- Who the fuck is that?
1366
01:04:37,003 --> 01:04:39,505
Carl Black,
I'm all you have.
1367
01:04:39,538 --> 01:04:41,674
You must save your wife
1368
01:04:41,707 --> 01:04:43,509
before it's too late.
1369
01:05:05,564 --> 01:05:06,832
Fellas, listen to me.
1370
01:05:06,866 --> 01:05:09,735
The vampire is
very tricky and old.
1371
01:05:09,769 --> 01:05:13,739
It has survived many
centuries because he's smart.
1372
01:05:13,773 --> 01:05:17,177
Much smarter than your stupid
ignorant ass, Carl Black.
1373
01:05:17,210 --> 01:05:20,880
That insidious bastard
is a master vampire.
1374
01:05:20,913 --> 01:05:22,782
A master vampire?
1375
01:05:22,815 --> 01:05:26,919
He's not to be played with.
That means he has companions.
1376
01:05:26,953 --> 01:05:29,622
- Companions?
- We have a lot more to deal with.
1377
01:05:29,655 --> 01:05:31,091
You have to get
to know your enemy.
1378
01:05:31,124 --> 01:05:32,658
I thought I knew him.
1379
01:05:32,692 --> 01:05:34,261
And how about his crew?
Do you know them?
1380
01:05:34,294 --> 01:05:37,030
His crew? What?
The butler?
1381
01:05:37,064 --> 01:05:40,666
Butler?! That's not a butler!
That's his ghoul!
1382
01:05:40,700 --> 01:05:42,102
What is a ghoul?
1383
01:05:42,135 --> 01:05:45,072
This is not the time
to be a bitch, Carl Black.
1384
01:05:45,105 --> 01:05:47,707
A ghoul is very dangerous.
1385
01:05:47,740 --> 01:05:49,942
- What about those fine-ass girls he had in there?
- Yeah. They was fine.
1386
01:05:49,976 --> 01:05:52,079
- Cronut!
- I liked them.
1387
01:05:52,112 --> 01:05:55,548
Those are not
average fine-ass girls.
1388
01:05:55,581 --> 01:05:58,651
Those are his bodyguards.
They are murderous.
1389
01:05:58,684 --> 01:06:00,120
What?
1390
01:06:00,153 --> 01:06:02,655
The more beautiful they are,
the more dangerous.
1391
01:06:02,688 --> 01:06:05,125
This is getting more serious
than I imagined.
1392
01:06:05,158 --> 01:06:07,793
What's this shit?
It was addressed to him.
1393
01:06:07,827 --> 01:06:09,762
He got a little chain on.
He got your same facial structure...
1394
01:06:09,795 --> 01:06:12,132
Don't be a dick face.
Give me that.
1395
01:06:21,707 --> 01:06:24,144
It is nothing.
Just some stupid fucking doll.
1396
01:06:24,177 --> 01:06:25,978
- Put it away.
- Are you sure?
1397
01:06:26,012 --> 01:06:27,546
How we going to kill
this motherfucker?
1398
01:06:27,580 --> 01:06:29,216
- Dad. Dad. I got an idea.
- What?
1399
01:06:29,249 --> 01:06:31,650
I turned the Purge bats
into stakes.
1400
01:06:31,684 --> 01:06:33,753
If you stab a vampire
with it, it'll die.
1401
01:06:33,786 --> 01:06:37,090
Shut up!
This is why I'm here.
1402
01:06:37,124 --> 01:06:40,160
We have to kill the vampire!
1403
01:06:56,876 --> 01:06:59,712
Why you wipe my
kisses off like that?
1404
01:06:59,745 --> 01:07:01,647
Baby, because you
put too much lip gloss on.
1405
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:03,816
- No, I don't.
- Yeah, you do, and then my shit
1406
01:07:03,849 --> 01:07:05,684
- be all glittery for the rest of the day.
- Shut up. I do it for you
1407
01:07:05,718 --> 01:07:07,620
- when I'm around you. Whatever.
- Use Chapstick.
1408
01:07:07,653 --> 01:07:09,222
- You cute. You fine and all, baby.
- Whatever.
1409
01:07:09,256 --> 01:07:10,823
Give me a little bit
of head now.
1410
01:07:10,856 --> 01:07:12,024
- What?
- I'm just saying,
1411
01:07:12,059 --> 01:07:13,893
like, I wanna get
a little bit of head...
1412
01:07:13,926 --> 01:07:15,228
We're in front of my parents' house.
Are you serious?
1413
01:07:15,262 --> 01:07:16,929
Baby, they're sleeping
a little bit.
1414
01:07:16,962 --> 01:07:18,731
- Babe.
- Come on, baby.
1415
01:07:18,764 --> 01:07:20,333
- Just a little bit of head.
- Stop playing all the time.
1416
01:07:20,367 --> 01:07:22,601
- Baby, my-my legs. I'm-I'm paralyzed.
- Stop.
1417
01:07:22,635 --> 01:07:25,004
That's the least you could
do, community service.
1418
01:07:25,038 --> 01:07:26,672
Let me get a little bit
of community head.
1419
01:07:26,705 --> 01:07:28,007
Shut up. We need to talk.
1420
01:07:28,041 --> 01:07:29,376
Talk about what?
Baby, look,
1421
01:07:29,409 --> 01:07:31,311
talk with my dick in
your mouth a little bit.
1422
01:07:31,344 --> 01:07:33,012
- I don't mean to be disrespectful.
- Wait, wait. Listen.
1423
01:07:33,046 --> 01:07:34,980
Listen to what?
1424
01:07:35,014 --> 01:07:36,849
- Baby.
- Did you hear that?
1425
01:07:36,882 --> 01:07:38,118
The only thing you
need to listen to is...
1426
01:07:38,151 --> 01:07:41,154
Listen!
1427
01:07:42,222 --> 01:07:43,356
The fuck was that?
1428
01:07:46,093 --> 01:07:48,727
Shit! Oh, shit!
1429
01:07:48,761 --> 01:07:50,197
- What is that?
- Ooh.
1430
01:07:50,230 --> 01:07:51,131
Oh, my God.
1431
01:07:53,732 --> 01:07:56,036
Freezee!
Freezee!
1432
01:07:56,069 --> 01:07:58,138
That was Allie.
1433
01:07:58,171 --> 01:07:59,738
Time to get the fuck out.
1434
01:08:01,974 --> 01:08:03,143
What just happened?
1435
01:08:03,176 --> 01:08:04,944
I don't know. I just
heard screams, man.
1436
01:08:04,977 --> 01:08:07,713
He made the first move.
He has taken your daughter.
1437
01:08:07,746 --> 01:08:09,416
It's all fucked up, man.
1438
01:08:09,449 --> 01:08:11,951
I didn't know they had Allie, too.
I like Allie! But there's more.
1439
01:08:11,984 --> 01:08:13,886
- Well, tell us more.
- Yeah, you better say something
1440
01:08:13,919 --> 01:08:16,056
- before we take your banana bike, nigga.
- Come on now.
1441
01:08:16,089 --> 01:08:17,990
The vampires, man,
they got me.
1442
01:08:18,023 --> 01:08:19,792
See that house next door?
1443
01:08:19,825 --> 01:08:23,063
They havin' a big-ass
vampire party up there, man.
1444
01:08:23,096 --> 01:08:24,897
Dracula kind of blushin'.
1445
01:08:24,930 --> 01:08:28,235
They said when it's over,
they gonna kill everybody.
1446
01:08:28,268 --> 01:08:29,902
- Oh, God.
- Shit.
1447
01:08:29,935 --> 01:08:31,737
Things all fucked up
around here, man.
1448
01:08:31,770 --> 01:08:34,241
Not me. They ain't
gonna get me.
1449
01:08:34,274 --> 01:08:36,143
They ain't gonna get me!
1450
01:08:37,277 --> 01:08:38,744
Come back here!
1451
01:08:38,777 --> 01:08:42,382
Fuck that!
I'm a real snitch!
1452
01:08:42,415 --> 01:08:45,185
Those vampires
done bit me.
1453
01:08:46,419 --> 01:08:47,454
Did you hear that?
1454
01:08:47,487 --> 01:08:49,156
Yeah, you saw
how he took off?
1455
01:08:49,189 --> 01:08:51,757
This is exactly what
the monster wants.
1456
01:08:51,790 --> 01:08:53,126
He wants you
to attack him at night,
1457
01:08:53,160 --> 01:08:56,163
when he's strongest.
Don't fall for it.
1458
01:08:56,196 --> 01:08:58,431
What am I supposed to do?
I got a wife and a daughter over there.
1459
01:08:58,465 --> 01:09:00,766
Just wait till the daytime,
when he's weak.
1460
01:09:00,799 --> 01:09:02,269
- And then we kill him.
- No, no, no, no.
1461
01:09:02,302 --> 01:09:03,702
If you wait
till the morning,
1462
01:09:03,736 --> 01:09:05,771
Lorena and Allie
will be vampires.
1463
01:09:05,804 --> 01:09:08,241
- Oh.
- Junior, I love you to death.
1464
01:09:08,275 --> 01:09:10,243
They already got
your sister in there.
1465
01:09:10,277 --> 01:09:13,079
They're trying to get your mama.
This is a good neighborhood
1466
01:09:13,113 --> 01:09:15,382
and I'm here to protect it,
because I'm Carl Black.
1467
01:09:15,415 --> 01:09:18,285
And I'm Cronut.
We ride together, we die together!
1468
01:09:18,318 --> 01:09:20,120
Go lock up the house.
1469
01:09:20,153 --> 01:09:23,423
We need the right weapons
to kill this vampire.
1470
01:09:23,456 --> 01:09:25,392
- I made a phone call.
- Who you call?
1471
01:09:25,425 --> 01:09:27,427
- Mr. Saturday Night.
- What?
1472
01:09:27,460 --> 01:09:29,462
He knows everything
about killing vampires.
1473
01:09:29,496 --> 01:09:30,996
Saturday Night?
1474
01:09:31,031 --> 01:09:33,866
I met him last Friday
at Fat Tuesday's.
1475
01:09:33,899 --> 01:09:35,868
Let's go. It's war.
1476
01:09:43,943 --> 01:09:46,046
Friends, let me do
all the talking.
1477
01:09:47,846 --> 01:09:50,283
I've seen this guy
kill lots of people.
1478
01:09:50,317 --> 01:09:52,219
Don't do
no bitch shit now.
1479
01:10:00,493 --> 01:10:01,428
Let's go.
1480
01:10:06,499 --> 01:10:09,236
He's the only one
to kill vampires.
1481
01:10:09,269 --> 01:10:11,304
He'll give us
all the weapons.
1482
01:10:12,871 --> 01:10:14,107
Just stay calm.
1483
01:10:15,941 --> 01:10:17,843
I believe in God,
first and foremost.
1484
01:10:17,876 --> 01:10:19,279
So we huntin' vampires.
1485
01:10:19,312 --> 01:10:21,481
- I'm scared.
- What you scared of?
1486
01:10:21,514 --> 01:10:22,848
He looks like
The Undertaker.
1487
01:10:22,881 --> 01:10:24,850
I may not have what you want,
1488
01:10:24,883 --> 01:10:26,286
but I got just what you need.
1489
01:10:26,319 --> 01:10:27,487
Holy shit.
1490
01:10:29,021 --> 01:10:31,124
- You ain't playin'.
- No, he's not.
1491
01:10:31,157 --> 01:10:33,260
- Damn!
- You're gonna like this.
1492
01:10:34,827 --> 01:10:36,329
Whoa.
1493
01:10:36,363 --> 01:10:38,231
- Oh, that's cool. I like that.
- That's alkaline water.
1494
01:10:38,265 --> 01:10:39,532
Alkaline? It's holy water!
1495
01:10:39,566 --> 01:10:41,468
Joel Osteen holy water.
1496
01:10:41,501 --> 01:10:43,203
It kind got
a pineapple taste to it.
1497
01:10:43,236 --> 01:10:48,508
Since we have vampires,
I got us some UV sunlight.
1498
01:10:48,541 --> 01:10:51,378
Hey, hey, hey.
1499
01:10:53,647 --> 01:10:55,881
You're Black, motherfucker.
It don't work as well.
1500
01:10:55,914 --> 01:10:57,417
Nigga, I can't see now.
1501
01:10:57,450 --> 01:11:00,420
They say short motherfuckers
love to get freaky,
1502
01:11:00,453 --> 01:11:03,556
so I brought this
just for you.
1503
01:11:03,590 --> 01:11:05,991
My boy. You know me,
don't you?
1504
01:11:06,025 --> 01:11:07,893
- Not really.
- Is this real leather?
1505
01:11:07,926 --> 01:11:09,562
- Not really.
- I'm wearing this.
1506
01:11:09,596 --> 01:11:11,531
Look at that. Look,
look, look, look.
1507
01:11:11,564 --> 01:11:14,267
When y'all really ready to
take out some motherfuckers...
1508
01:11:14,301 --> 01:11:15,468
Ooh.
1509
01:11:15,502 --> 01:11:17,537
- This what I pull out.
- Shit.
1510
01:11:17,570 --> 01:11:20,440
- God is great.
- All the time.
1511
01:11:21,508 --> 01:11:22,975
If it ain't a Jesus.
1512
01:11:23,008 --> 01:11:25,078
You got a calling, Carl.
You put that on.
1513
01:11:25,111 --> 01:11:27,147
- Me?
- You put that on.
1514
01:11:29,449 --> 01:11:31,084
God gon' protect you.
1515
01:11:33,018 --> 01:11:34,454
There's something
I want to show you.
1516
01:11:36,456 --> 01:11:38,558
That look like
Leslie Jones' dildo.
1517
01:11:38,591 --> 01:11:40,493
Oh.
1518
01:11:40,527 --> 01:11:42,495
- Nigga...
- Hey, wait, wait, man.
1519
01:11:42,529 --> 01:11:43,862
- I think... I think he just stabbed me, he just...
- Stop it.
1520
01:11:43,896 --> 01:11:44,997
I felt it in my...
in my body.
1521
01:11:45,031 --> 01:11:46,599
No, you're cool.
Don't be bitches.
1522
01:11:46,633 --> 01:11:48,601
You look like you know
what's goin' on.
1523
01:11:48,635 --> 01:11:50,903
I know exactly
what's goin' on.
1524
01:11:59,479 --> 01:12:01,414
Nigga, you're illuminati.
I see you.
1525
01:12:01,448 --> 01:12:02,915
Enough of that.
1526
01:12:03,817 --> 01:12:06,952
- Thank you, Mr. Friday the 13th.
- It's Saturday.
1527
01:12:06,985 --> 01:12:08,388
Nigga,
this nigga Friday the 13th.
1528
01:12:08,421 --> 01:12:10,923
This nigga's... nigga!
All right, cool, cool.
1529
01:12:10,956 --> 01:12:12,192
You keep doing your thing.
1530
01:12:15,261 --> 01:12:17,130
That nigga's
on some Harry Potter shit.
1531
01:12:17,163 --> 01:12:19,232
It's cool, really. I know the nigga.
1532
01:13:01,374 --> 01:13:04,009
This motherfucker lit!
1533
01:13:04,043 --> 01:13:06,479
They know
how to party here.
1534
01:13:06,513 --> 01:13:09,149
We gotta find Allie.
1535
01:13:09,182 --> 01:13:10,550
Damn, man,
I'm staying right here.
1536
01:13:10,583 --> 01:13:12,419
I think I feel good
right here.
1537
01:13:21,060 --> 01:13:23,496
Cronut!
Go that way.
1538
01:13:35,074 --> 01:13:38,344
...with three people dragging someone.
1539
01:13:38,378 --> 01:13:40,447
- Neighborhood, somebody.
- Harrison.
1540
01:13:40,480 --> 01:13:42,682
- This is Harrison.
- Do you guys need a backup unit?
1541
01:13:42,715 --> 01:13:44,517
No, I'm good,
Captain. I mean,
1542
01:13:44,551 --> 01:13:46,319
this shit making me a little
nervous for real, man.
1543
01:13:46,352 --> 01:13:48,321
I mean, we back down
to this spooky-ass house.
1544
01:13:48,354 --> 01:13:50,290
We just left here a
couple of days ago.
1545
01:13:50,323 --> 01:13:52,024
Listen, I don't want
to be no cop.
1546
01:13:52,058 --> 01:13:54,093
I just thought pieces of shit
dropped-dropped big time.
1547
01:13:54,127 --> 01:13:55,695
Man. My man is
shitting on himself.
1548
01:13:55,728 --> 01:13:57,530
This shit is spooky
out here, Captain.
1549
01:13:57,564 --> 01:14:00,233
I mean, shit,
there's all kinds of noises out here
1550
01:14:00,266 --> 01:14:02,635
and fucking some...
some wind and shit. Can y'all...
1551
01:14:02,669 --> 01:14:04,137
I don't got the heart
for this.
1552
01:14:04,170 --> 01:14:05,305
Harrison,
is everything okay?
1553
01:14:05,338 --> 01:14:07,106
What's wrong?
You're supposed to be...
1554
01:14:07,140 --> 01:14:09,007
You're supposed to be hard.
You're acting scared.
1555
01:14:09,042 --> 01:14:11,110
- What's wrong? Harry, what's wrong?
- Harrison.
1556
01:14:11,144 --> 01:14:13,112
I thought you had all the tricks
and now you're acting like a bitch.
1557
01:14:13,146 --> 01:14:14,581
Harrison.
1558
01:14:18,351 --> 01:14:20,420
A bite of crime
'bout to bite you, nigga.
1559
01:14:36,636 --> 01:14:40,206
I'm not a vampire.
My name's Allie, Allie Black.
1560
01:14:40,240 --> 01:14:41,741
I live next door.
1561
01:14:41,774 --> 01:14:45,812
If you could just get me
out of this, it would...
1562
01:14:45,845 --> 01:14:47,614
Okay. Look, my... my...
1563
01:14:47,647 --> 01:14:51,818
Can you ask Dr.Mama-tunday-wanday
to come here?
1564
01:14:51,851 --> 01:14:55,355
Damn.
1565
01:15:03,496 --> 01:15:06,099
What the fuck was that?
1566
01:15:08,234 --> 01:15:10,403
Shut up.
1567
01:15:12,605 --> 01:15:15,108
Don't talk.
1568
01:15:15,141 --> 01:15:16,676
What the fuck is
your problem? Shut up.
1569
01:15:20,547 --> 01:15:24,651
Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Hey.
1570
01:15:54,480 --> 01:15:57,216
- What?
- That was a silver metal nigga.
1571
01:15:57,250 --> 01:15:59,586
Oh, God.
A silver metal nigga?
1572
01:15:59,619 --> 01:16:01,454
Silver metal.
Not a regular nigga.
1573
01:16:01,487 --> 01:16:02,822
Metal nigga?
1574
01:16:02,855 --> 01:16:05,224
There are more of them niggas around.
Trust me.
1575
01:16:08,328 --> 01:16:09,796
- Oh, shit.
- Whoo-whoo.
1576
01:16:10,930 --> 01:16:12,365
Oh, God.
1577
01:16:13,900 --> 01:16:15,535
Please don't hurt me.
1578
01:16:17,403 --> 01:16:19,672
Please, Mr. knight
in big, black armor.
1579
01:16:19,706 --> 01:16:21,341
- Oooh.
- Oh, my God.
1580
01:16:21,374 --> 01:16:23,743
Oh, my God.
1581
01:16:23,776 --> 01:16:27,814
- Shh.
- Mmm.
1582
01:16:27,847 --> 01:16:29,415
- It's Cronut, baby!
- What?!
1583
01:16:29,449 --> 01:16:31,651
- I got you, didn't I?
- Cronut... Cronut...
1584
01:16:31,684 --> 01:16:33,252
- You didn't even know it was me, did you?
- Cronut! Get me out of here.
1585
01:16:33,286 --> 01:16:34,787
- You gotta untie me out, please.
- Yeah.
1586
01:16:34,821 --> 01:16:36,789
You're as fine
as a motherfucker.
1587
01:16:36,823 --> 01:16:38,625
- When did you grow up?
- Cronut, shut... Shut the fuck up!
1588
01:16:38,658 --> 01:16:40,560
If you like it, we second cousins,
we ain't no kin, so we can...
1589
01:16:40,593 --> 01:16:43,196
Are you serious right now?
Shut the fuck up. I'm gonna tell Daddy.
1590
01:16:43,229 --> 01:16:45,398
Oh, shit, man.
1591
01:16:45,431 --> 01:16:47,867
Now I know why
the vampire wanted her.
1592
01:16:47,900 --> 01:16:51,738
Oh, hell no!
That's my baby.
1593
01:16:52,972 --> 01:16:57,677
Baby, please wake up.
Wake up, baby. Oh...
1594
01:16:57,710 --> 01:16:59,712
God.
1595
01:16:59,746 --> 01:17:00,913
- Get your damn hands off! Don't touch my lady!
- Jesus, fuck.
1596
01:17:00,947 --> 01:17:02,515
He's in there,
trying to kill us.
1597
01:17:02,548 --> 01:17:04,250
What the fuck is you
in this shit for
1598
01:17:04,283 --> 01:17:05,818
- in the first place?
- I was trying to escape.
1599
01:17:05,852 --> 01:17:07,420
I was going with Freezee.
1600
01:17:07,453 --> 01:17:08,655
That's what getting
hot in the ass get you.
1601
01:17:08,688 --> 01:17:09,789
Hurry up and get me
the fuck out of here.
1602
01:17:13,493 --> 01:17:14,594
All right. Let's go.
1603
01:17:14,627 --> 01:17:16,362
- What? Oh, oh!
- My feet.
1604
01:17:16,396 --> 01:17:17,897
I was going with Freezee and
I don't even know where he is.
1605
01:17:17,930 --> 01:17:19,499
Yeah, there it is,
right...
1606
01:17:19,532 --> 01:17:20,733
- Stop looking at me.
- Shut the fuck... shh.
1607
01:17:20,767 --> 01:17:24,771
Please come back
to life.
1608
01:17:24,804 --> 01:17:27,974
Please, baby, I want
some of that pussy again.
1609
01:17:28,007 --> 01:17:30,643
I mean, I love you again.
I swear I love you.
1610
01:17:34,280 --> 01:17:35,548
Carl? Carl?
1611
01:17:36,749 --> 01:17:38,484
Jesus Christ,
what happened?
1612
01:17:38,518 --> 01:17:40,253
I had the worst dream.
1613
01:17:40,286 --> 01:17:41,554
What did he do to you?
1614
01:17:41,587 --> 01:17:46,292
I was, uh,
I was trying to bite you.
1615
01:17:46,325 --> 01:17:47,894
Carl, what's in my mouth?
1616
01:17:47,927 --> 01:17:49,262
You look like Blac Chyna.
1617
01:17:49,295 --> 01:17:50,830
Oh, stop.
What's in my mouth?
1618
01:17:50,863 --> 01:17:52,932
I don't know,
but I don't want no head no more.
1619
01:17:52,965 --> 01:17:54,434
What is this, Carl?
What is this?
1620
01:17:54,467 --> 01:17:56,536
It look like a pimple
on the mouth.
1621
01:18:00,339 --> 01:18:01,741
Where is Daddy at?
Where is everybody?
1622
01:18:01,774 --> 01:18:03,376
They right here looking
for your stupid ass.
1623
01:18:03,409 --> 01:18:04,544
But how we gonna get them?
1624
01:18:04,577 --> 01:18:05,678
All right. This is
what we're gonna do.
1625
01:18:05,712 --> 01:18:07,613
All right.
This me, this you.
1626
01:18:07,647 --> 01:18:09,248
- When I'm gonna say "hike," you're gonna throw the ball...
- Right.
1627
01:18:09,282 --> 01:18:10,717
Nah, I don't like that play.
1628
01:18:10,750 --> 01:18:12,919
This is what we gon'
do, ten yards cut...
1629
01:18:12,952 --> 01:18:14,821
- Are you playing football?
- You-you want to get out of here or not?
1630
01:18:14,854 --> 01:18:16,789
- It doesn't work! Shut the fuck up.
- Just let's go.
1631
01:18:28,367 --> 01:18:30,803
- No.
- Calm down. No.
1632
01:18:30,837 --> 01:18:32,305
Don't you do
your neck like that.
1633
01:18:32,338 --> 01:18:33,873
Calm down.
1634
01:18:36,476 --> 01:18:38,311
- Calm the fuck down.
- Please, please.
1635
01:18:40,513 --> 01:18:44,317
No! Cronut, no!
1636
01:18:44,350 --> 01:18:45,852
Please.
1637
01:18:52,425 --> 01:18:55,361
Don't you do it,
don't you do it.
1638
01:18:55,394 --> 01:18:57,864
No...
1639
01:19:00,900 --> 01:19:02,502
Mayweather.
1640
01:19:02,535 --> 01:19:03,636
He gave it like that.
1641
01:19:05,638 --> 01:19:07,507
Yeah!
1642
01:19:19,786 --> 01:19:23,056
I'm a vampire slayer.
I'm like Blade.
1643
01:19:23,090 --> 01:19:24,557
- I did that.
- You did what?
1644
01:19:24,590 --> 01:19:26,559
- I killed him.
- No, I did that. I did...
1645
01:19:26,592 --> 01:19:27,894
- Really?
- I'm Blade. Yeah, yeah.
1646
01:19:30,663 --> 01:19:32,465
Let's go find your dad.
1647
01:19:32,498 --> 01:19:34,967
Carl, I don't feel well.
Tell me, where are we?
1648
01:19:35,001 --> 01:19:36,335
Lorena?
1649
01:19:37,637 --> 01:19:38,671
There he is!
1650
01:19:38,704 --> 01:19:39,705
Carl Black.
1651
01:19:40,773 --> 01:19:42,975
Release my beloved.
1652
01:19:43,009 --> 01:19:44,710
That's the nigga
next door.
1653
01:19:44,744 --> 01:19:46,712
You don't mess
with a man's wife!
1654
01:19:46,746 --> 01:19:48,381
That is our wife.
1655
01:19:48,414 --> 01:19:50,583
She is at least
on a time share.
1656
01:19:50,616 --> 01:19:52,785
I've been waiting
my whole life for you
1657
01:19:52,819 --> 01:19:58,058
to kill you, you punk-bitch,
little ass, dick-looking bitch.
1658
01:19:58,091 --> 01:20:00,626
You call him
a bitch? Come on.
1659
01:20:00,660 --> 01:20:03,063
We ain't finna be too many more bitches up
in here now. You better watch your mouth.
1660
01:20:03,096 --> 01:20:05,731
Listen here,
Black Baltimore Raven.
1661
01:20:05,765 --> 01:20:10,536
You will no longer
disparage my household.
1662
01:20:10,570 --> 01:20:11,771
Hit him
with that juice.
1663
01:20:15,842 --> 01:20:18,778
Hit him again. Damn,
let me see your shit.
1664
01:20:18,811 --> 01:20:21,013
Man, that's mango juice
you're throwing on that man.
1665
01:20:21,048 --> 01:20:22,648
Why this nigga
is not dying?
1666
01:20:22,682 --> 01:20:24,750
- Why?
- Oh, man. That's bullshit.
1667
01:20:24,784 --> 01:20:26,485
- What kind of nigga is this?
- Fuck you're gonna kill a vampire
1668
01:20:26,519 --> 01:20:28,788
with Visine, motherfucker?
1669
01:20:28,821 --> 01:20:29,922
Hit him
with that third one.
1670
01:20:29,956 --> 01:20:31,390
Punk bitch, die!
1671
01:20:32,925 --> 01:20:35,394
This nigga is not dying.
Back up.
1672
01:20:35,428 --> 01:20:37,097
Thank you, ladies.
1673
01:20:37,130 --> 01:20:38,865
- Whoa.
- Daddy.
1674
01:20:38,898 --> 01:20:40,600
- Where you been?
- We've been looking for you.
1675
01:20:40,633 --> 01:20:43,103
- I saved Allie.
- No, I saved you.
1676
01:20:43,136 --> 01:20:45,038
Enough!
1677
01:20:47,006 --> 01:20:49,675
Look how you got my
woman's mouth looking, man.
1678
01:20:49,709 --> 01:20:53,012
I bring to you
from Africa, Egypt,
1679
01:20:53,046 --> 01:20:55,448
Denmark and Dayton.
1680
01:21:02,922 --> 01:21:04,423
That's Jodeci!
1681
01:21:08,061 --> 01:21:09,829
No!
1682
01:21:10,897 --> 01:21:14,533
I swear by the black hairs
of your chinny chin chin,
1683
01:21:14,567 --> 01:21:16,903
I will huff and puff
1684
01:21:16,936 --> 01:21:20,706
and these
demons will blow your house down.
1685
01:21:20,740 --> 01:21:22,642
What's up, y'all?
1686
01:21:22,675 --> 01:21:25,212
- Watch out... oh!
- Oh, shit!
1687
01:21:25,245 --> 01:21:26,712
What the hell are you
doing here?
1688
01:21:26,746 --> 01:21:28,148
Freezee,
1689
01:21:28,181 --> 01:21:29,649
what happened to you?
1690
01:21:29,682 --> 01:21:32,518
Vampire gang.
We out here, gang-gang!
1691
01:21:32,551 --> 01:21:34,087
They done hooked your boy up.
1692
01:21:34,121 --> 01:21:38,624
Half vampire, half goat
legs, full horse dick.
1693
01:21:38,658 --> 01:21:40,626
Donkey dick.
1694
01:21:42,062 --> 01:21:43,863
It's all backwards,
though.
1695
01:21:43,896 --> 01:21:45,698
Your ass
is forward, Freezee.
1696
01:21:45,731 --> 01:21:47,067
They done fuck me up
in the lab.
1697
01:21:47,100 --> 01:21:49,735
You're a hairy
retarded vampire.
1698
01:21:49,769 --> 01:21:51,537
- This ain't the life I chose.
- You fucked him up.
1699
01:21:51,570 --> 01:21:53,606
You fucked him up.
You fucked him up.
1700
01:21:53,639 --> 01:21:55,574
I appreciate it.
At least I can walk now.
1701
01:21:55,608 --> 01:21:58,178
Listen here,
Switchblade.
1702
01:21:58,211 --> 01:22:01,181
You already know
Black Lives Matter.
1703
01:22:01,214 --> 01:22:05,218
This is Black matter lives.
1704
01:22:06,686 --> 01:22:08,654
Welcome to the dark,
motherfucker.
1705
01:22:08,688 --> 01:22:10,556
Attack!
1706
01:22:10,589 --> 01:22:11,624
Come on. Come on.
Come on.
1707
01:22:43,656 --> 01:22:45,558
- You hit me in the nuts!
- I'm sorry.
1708
01:22:46,726 --> 01:22:48,228
I'm tired of your ass.
1709
01:22:52,965 --> 01:22:55,001
Let's go, bitch.
Let's go.
1710
01:23:01,874 --> 01:23:03,576
I got you!
1711
01:23:11,118 --> 01:23:14,854
- Yeah, bitch!
- Die slow! Die slow!
1712
01:23:14,887 --> 01:23:16,589
Carl!
Behind you!
1713
01:23:28,135 --> 01:23:29,036
Help her.
1714
01:23:34,107 --> 01:23:37,277
- I can't move my hand.
- I can't move mine.
1715
01:23:37,310 --> 01:23:39,612
I'm throwing up
gang signs.
1716
01:23:48,020 --> 01:23:50,090
Finally, Lorena.
1717
01:24:21,354 --> 01:24:24,757
Nigga is not dead yet.
I don't think he's dead.
1718
01:24:34,667 --> 01:24:36,036
Baby, he's not dead.
1719
01:24:39,172 --> 01:24:43,676
You know I'm coming now.
1720
01:24:45,911 --> 01:24:48,248
Go get the voodoo doll.
It's the only way to kill him.
1721
01:24:48,281 --> 01:24:50,616
- All right. Cool.
- Hurry.
1722
01:24:55,754 --> 01:24:57,290
Go lock the back door.
1723
01:24:57,324 --> 01:24:58,724
Get the doors locked.
Come on.
1724
01:24:58,757 --> 01:24:59,925
We can't kill him
without the voodoo doll!
1725
01:25:02,262 --> 01:25:04,264
Cronut, hurry up.
Hurry.
1726
01:25:05,831 --> 01:25:07,300
Hurry up, Cronut.
1727
01:25:09,169 --> 01:25:11,371
Wooky said this
will kill the vampire.
1728
01:25:11,404 --> 01:25:12,905
Is that it?
1729
01:25:12,938 --> 01:25:14,274
- Yeah.
- All right. Let's go.
1730
01:25:16,309 --> 01:25:17,710
Whoa! Shit!
1731
01:25:19,246 --> 01:25:21,081
Ah, shit!
1732
01:25:23,316 --> 01:25:26,018
Come on, come on. Oh, shit!
1733
01:25:26,052 --> 01:25:27,987
- Please. Please.
- Hey, hey, stop.
1734
01:25:28,020 --> 01:25:30,423
Please.
1735
01:25:32,192 --> 01:25:34,427
Shit!
1736
01:25:54,281 --> 01:25:55,814
Lorena.
1737
01:25:57,284 --> 01:25:59,952
Come to me, Lorena.
1738
01:25:59,985 --> 01:26:02,055
- Carl...
- What's wrong?
1739
01:26:02,088 --> 01:26:03,789
He's calling me.
1740
01:26:06,992 --> 01:26:08,961
You can kill me,
1741
01:26:08,994 --> 01:26:12,065
but you cannot make me die.
1742
01:26:22,042 --> 01:26:25,010
I will have what belongs to me.
1743
01:26:34,521 --> 01:26:36,755
I'm 'bout to go kill
Mamuwalde.
1744
01:26:36,789 --> 01:26:38,325
Okay.
1745
01:26:42,828 --> 01:26:44,331
Damn, Hugo.
1746
01:26:44,364 --> 01:26:45,898
Nobody calls me Hugo.
1747
01:26:47,033 --> 01:26:48,368
What do they call you then?
1748
01:26:48,401 --> 01:26:50,803
Filero.
1749
01:26:50,836 --> 01:26:53,106
And what's Filero?
1750
01:26:53,139 --> 01:26:56,243
It means blade
in Mexican.
1751
01:26:59,346 --> 01:27:00,913
Really?
1752
01:27:14,860 --> 01:27:16,396
Carl... no...
1753
01:27:18,231 --> 01:27:20,567
Where
do you think you're going?
1754
01:27:20,600 --> 01:27:22,369
What did you just do
to me?
1755
01:27:22,402 --> 01:27:24,070
Do you feel that?
1756
01:27:25,438 --> 01:27:26,905
I got the voodoo doll.
1757
01:27:26,939 --> 01:27:29,476
Break the voodoo doll.
1758
01:27:29,509 --> 01:27:31,877
- What?
- Break the voodoo doll!
1759
01:27:33,012 --> 01:27:34,080
Cronut!
1760
01:27:34,114 --> 01:27:36,283
Release your meaningless life.
1761
01:27:36,316 --> 01:27:38,451
Fuck out that...
1762
01:27:38,485 --> 01:27:40,853
I see we don't know what immortal means.
1763
01:27:40,886 --> 01:27:43,356
Break the doll, the voodoo doll.
1764
01:27:45,225 --> 01:27:46,526
- Break it!
- Break it!
1765
01:28:01,107 --> 01:28:04,077
- You motherfucker.
- Don't you touch me.
1766
01:28:08,448 --> 01:28:10,517
Come to me, Lorena.
1767
01:28:11,284 --> 01:28:14,421
- You better stop!
- Come this way.
1768
01:28:14,454 --> 01:28:16,855
Lorena, wake up!
1769
01:28:16,889 --> 01:28:18,358
Lorena.
1770
01:28:19,958 --> 01:28:22,429
Take your place with me.
1771
01:28:22,462 --> 01:28:24,264
Babe, don't do
this! Baby!
1772
01:28:24,297 --> 01:28:28,967
We are the Jay-Z and Beyoncé
of the underworld.
1773
01:28:30,670 --> 01:28:34,441
Complete my darkness.
1774
01:28:34,474 --> 01:28:37,644
Come with me.
There's not much time left.
1775
01:28:49,955 --> 01:28:52,258
You don't need him.
1776
01:28:52,292 --> 01:28:56,028
He doesn't have a job
and he can't write a book.
1777
01:29:06,706 --> 01:29:09,409
I got this new book
coming out. Terror Night.
1778
01:29:09,442 --> 01:29:11,111
Nigga! Ain't nobody
reading your book!
1779
01:29:11,144 --> 01:29:13,912
My book is in... in... in
Barnes and Noble's.
1780
01:29:13,946 --> 01:29:16,416
That book was terrible.
It's one of the worst books I ever read.
1781
01:29:16,449 --> 01:29:18,016
Carl, I'm not happy here.
1782
01:29:18,051 --> 01:29:19,419
I need the money, Dad.
1783
01:29:19,452 --> 01:29:21,287
Just... just leave.
Just leave. Go take a nap.
1784
01:29:21,321 --> 01:29:22,921
This ain't the time
for your goddamn book.
1785
01:29:24,057 --> 01:29:25,658
I don't know
if this is it for us.
1786
01:29:25,692 --> 01:29:28,561
I used to think it was the house,
the neighborhood, your book.
1787
01:29:31,398 --> 01:29:33,099
You need to realize
that family's
1788
01:29:33,133 --> 01:29:34,567
the most important thing
in life, not a book.
1789
01:29:36,102 --> 01:29:37,137
- I'm moving out.
- You're messing up.
1790
01:29:39,172 --> 01:29:42,007
It's you and I that don't work.
It's you.
1791
01:29:45,178 --> 01:29:47,447
Come to me now.
1792
01:29:52,218 --> 01:29:53,986
Carl Black,
save your wife.
1793
01:30:09,202 --> 01:30:13,239
Global warming is real.
1794
01:30:30,757 --> 01:30:34,327
Jack Mihoff,
ANN News Live with the Buzz.
1795
01:30:34,360 --> 01:30:36,629
So you've survived the Purge.
1796
01:30:36,663 --> 01:30:40,166
You and this ragtag
band of pimps, hoes...
1797
01:30:40,200 --> 01:30:41,534
- No, that's my family.
- Sorry, what?!
1798
01:30:41,568 --> 01:30:43,203
No. It wasn't no pimps
and hoes over here.
1799
01:30:43,236 --> 01:30:45,003
You defeated the vampire.
1800
01:30:45,038 --> 01:30:47,173
Saved the whole
entire neighborhood.
1801
01:30:47,207 --> 01:30:50,410
Have you, Black Panther,
Chloe, and Bow-Wow
1802
01:30:50,443 --> 01:30:54,012
ever thought about becoming
the new Black Ghostbusters?
1803
01:30:57,183 --> 01:30:59,786
- Hunting ghosts?
- Hunting ghosts? I mean...
1804
01:30:59,819 --> 01:31:01,287
You don't have
to answer that, Carl.
1805
01:31:01,321 --> 01:31:03,189
It's a good idea.
We could make money.
1806
01:31:03,223 --> 01:31:04,491
Let's wait,
let's wait.
1807
01:31:04,524 --> 01:31:06,726
Don't be a bitch.
Let's make this money, Carl.
1808
01:31:06,759 --> 01:31:09,362
Yes. Don't be a bitch.
Make the money.
1809
01:31:09,395 --> 01:31:11,164
And what the fuck
did you do?
1810
01:31:11,197 --> 01:31:12,732
- Look at me.
- We could make money, Carl.
1811
01:31:12,765 --> 01:31:15,034
- Get the money, Carl.
- Carl, let's do it.
1812
01:31:15,068 --> 01:31:17,070
- I'm gonna make money.
- Yeah. Why-why not?
1813
01:31:17,103 --> 01:31:18,671
One more question.
Handicapped white man,
1814
01:31:18,705 --> 01:31:21,741
is it true that your first
experience with vampires
1815
01:31:21,774 --> 01:31:25,345
was in the jungle in Hanoi
where your troop was ambushed,
1816
01:31:25,378 --> 01:31:29,782
you were ravaged,
and your legs were completely destroyed?
1817
01:31:29,816 --> 01:31:32,185
Fuck you, Sammy Sosa.
1818
01:31:32,218 --> 01:31:33,720
One thing I hate
about this neighborhood...
1819
01:31:33,753 --> 01:31:35,588
all the goddamn vampires.
1820
01:31:35,622 --> 01:31:38,591
Well, we would just
like to thank you
1821
01:31:38,625 --> 01:31:40,793
for your service
to this country and make...
1822
01:31:40,827 --> 01:31:42,395
Oh, my Lord!
1823
01:31:42,428 --> 01:31:43,763
His hands are strong,
but his legs are dead.
1824
01:31:43,796 --> 01:31:45,532
Come on. Come on.
Let his hand. Let his hand.
1825
01:31:45,565 --> 01:31:47,400
Get off me, Carl!
Your wife's cheating on you!
1826
01:31:47,433 --> 01:31:48,635
- What are you talking about?
- What?
1827
01:31:48,668 --> 01:31:49,802
- I see everything!
- Shut up!
1828
01:31:49,836 --> 01:31:51,771
- Cronut's gay.
- No, I'm not.
1829
01:31:51,804 --> 01:31:53,139
That don't count in jail.
1830
01:31:53,172 --> 01:31:54,340
That's not even
your daughter!
1831
01:31:54,374 --> 01:31:56,743
- Uh-uh.
- No. I'm sick of this.
1832
01:31:56,776 --> 01:31:58,778
Yeah. I'm sick of you.
1833
01:31:58,811 --> 01:32:01,047
Come on, Carl.
1834
01:32:03,816 --> 01:32:05,552
Are you ready?
1835
01:32:05,585 --> 01:32:07,787
Give me one second,
baby. I'm coming.
1836
01:32:07,820 --> 01:32:09,455
Lord knows I'm coming.
1837
01:32:09,489 --> 01:32:12,792
I know you happy you ain't
with Clive no more.
1838
01:32:12,825 --> 01:32:15,261
- But what's taking you so long?
- You're rushing me, babe.
1839
01:32:15,295 --> 01:32:17,630
You ain't rush Clive.
I know you waited for his ass.
1840
01:32:17,664 --> 01:32:20,300
Just calm down.
You gon' get this dick.
1841
01:32:20,333 --> 01:32:22,101
Gonna drop some
good dick on you.
1842
01:32:22,135 --> 01:32:23,603
Well, hurry.
1843
01:32:23,636 --> 01:32:25,338
- Oh.
- Yeah.
1844
01:32:25,371 --> 01:32:27,473
Yeah.
1845
01:32:27,507 --> 01:32:32,445
You see it.
You see it. Yeah.
1846
01:32:32,478 --> 01:32:34,547
Say you're ready for me
to draw some dick O's.
1847
01:32:37,450 --> 01:32:40,186
Yeah. Yeah. Oh-oh.
1848
01:32:40,219 --> 01:32:42,255
That's it?
1849
01:32:42,288 --> 01:32:44,257
You're kidding.
1850
01:32:44,290 --> 01:32:46,826
Wait. I-I...
damn, this was a long song.
1851
01:32:46,859 --> 01:32:48,361
- Wow.
- You did good. No, no, no.
1852
01:32:48,394 --> 01:32:50,363
What you wowing for?
1853
01:32:51,931 --> 01:32:55,868
Who knocked it down, nigga?
1854
01:32:55,902 --> 01:32:58,171
Bitch ass!
1855
01:34:25,658 --> 01:34:30,430
This is Jack Mihoff
with today's latest buzz.
1856
01:34:30,463 --> 01:34:33,633
There has been reports
of a ragtag band
1857
01:34:33,666 --> 01:34:37,870
of Negro thug
vigilantes and a Mexican.
1858
01:34:37,904 --> 01:34:41,908
Reports have been stated that
they are calling themselves
1859
01:34:41,941 --> 01:34:44,711
the Ghetto Ghostbusters,
1860
01:34:44,744 --> 01:34:48,314
and they are out
for street vengeance.
135463
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