All language subtitles for Wild.Bunch.On.Ice.2020

WELCOME HOCKEY FANS FROM COAST TO COAST AS WE FLASH BACK IN TIME TO ONE OF SPORTS GREATEST LEGENDS. I AM HERE WITH MY CO-HOST, FRANK SAILS, AS WE GET READY TO DROP THE PUCK! DID I SAY THAT RIGHT, FRANK?

YES, YOU SURE DID.

HERE’S THE KICKER, I DON’T KNOW A THING ABOUT HOCKEY!

YEAH, I’M SURE THEY’RE GOING TO FIND THAT OUT.

YEAH, I BROADCASTED BASKETBALL FOR THE PAST TWENTY SEVEN YEARS. OH, YA, I’LL BE DARNED IF I CAN FIGURE THIS THING OUT. WHAT’S GOING ON HERE, FRANK?

WELL IT’S A GAME ON ICE WITH STICKS, REG.

ICE WITH STICKS. THAT REMINDS ME, I SHOULD BE MIXING A HARVEY WALLBANGER RIGHT NOW.

(LAUGHS TO HIMSELF) I CAME OUT OF RETIREMENT TO WORK WITH YOU.

FOR THOSE FANS TUNING IN, SURE SHOT WAS HOCKEY’S BEST. TODAY’S SHOW WILL BE A PLAY BY PLAY OF HOW HE BECAME A HOCKEY LEGEND.

A LEGEND, OOOH, SO THERE’S NO, LIKE, FREE THROWS OR BASKETBALLS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.
A LEGEND, OOOH, SO THERE’S NO, LIKE, FREE THROWS OR BASKETBALLS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.
INTERESTING. THIS HOCKEY STUFF SOUNDS FUN. CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.

INTERESTING. THIS HOCKEY STUFF SOUNDS FUN. CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

YA, I CAN’T EITHER.
INTERESTING. THIS HOCKEY STUFF SOUNDS FUN. CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

YA, I CAN’T EITHER.

HEY, YOU BUGGERS ARE WAY INTO OVERTIME!
GO ON HOME BEFORE I SHOVEL YOU ALL INTO A SNOWBANK!

DON’T THINK I WON’T DO IT! THEY STILL CAN’T FIND THREE KIDS FROM LAST YEAR!

I’M GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT A KID I USED TO KNOW. MOST PEOPLE HAD NO IDEA HOW HARD HE HAD IT GROWING UP.

COMING FROM NOTHING IS ONE THING, THIS KID LIVED ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF NOTHING. BUE HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANT TO BE DISADVANTAGED.

NO NOTION OF WHAT HE WAS ABOUT TO OVERCOME. TAKE IT FROM ME THOUGH. I WAS THERE SO I CAN TELL YOU FIRST-HAND.

HEY! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU KIDS TO GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE! DON’T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE, CAUSE I CAN’T SKATE AND IF I HAVE TO COME DOWN THERE, IT WILL BE WITH A PURPOSE.

BACKWARDS CROSSOVER, STOPS AND STARTS YOU’VE GOT TO HAVE THEM FOR YOUR WIND….CAUSE YOU CAN’T BEAT THE GUY IN THE CORNER. IT’S THE SKATING, THE SKATING!

OKAY, MISTER, EAT UP FOR SCHOOL.

YA, AND IF I SET UP THIS TYPE COURSE WHERE THERE’S WEAVING IN AND OUT, I THINK IT WILL GIVE US BETTER PUCK CONTROL. CAN I HAVE A FEW GUYS OVER AFTER SCHOOL?

ASK YOUR DAD WHEN HE COMES DOWN.

ALRIGHT, I’VE GOT THREE STOPS BEFORE I HIT CARAVEL CORNER, THEN UNLOAD. BILLY YOU HELPING ME WITH DELIVERIES THIS WEEKEND?

YUP. CAN I HAVE A FEW GUYS OVER AFTER SCHOOL?

HOW MANY GUYS, AND FOR HOW LONG?

EARL, AND MAYBE FOUR OR FIVE GUYS TOTAL, WE NEED TO WORK ON SOME DRILLS.

EARL, THAT GOOFY KID WITH THE WEAK ANKLES? THAT’S NOT A GOOD START.

YA, HE CAN’T SKATE WORTH A DARN. BUT WE’LL PUT HIM IN GOAL.

BILLY, YOU’RE GETTING YOUR HOPES UP PUTTING THIS TEAM TOGETHER.

THIS YEAR WE’RE GONNA DO IT. RINK RAT RAY SAYS AS LONG AS WE HAVE ENOUGH FOR TWO LINES HE’LL GIVE US THE ICE TIME.

RAY, THAT OLD COOT. YA, WE’LL SEE ABOUT THAT. AND WHO’S GOING TO COACH? NO ONE’S GOT THE TIME. WE’RE ALL WORKIN’. GET YOUR STUFF READY FOR SCHOOL.

BILL, YOU ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME WITH HIM.

KATE, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS RIGHT NOW.WORK IS PULLING ME IN EVERY DIRECTION. I GOTTA MAKE THOSE DELIVERIES, IF I DON’T…THEY FIND A NEW DRIVER. BESIDES, MY DAD DID NOTHING WITH ME. LIFE WAS TOUGH, I ACCEPTED IT.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR DAD! BILLY KISSES THE GROUND YOU WALK ON. HE NEEDS YOU TO BE AROUND HE NEEDS TO KNOW YOU CARE ABOUT HIM.

I CAN’T TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW. I GOTTA GET TO WORK. I GOT A BUSY DAY.

ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, WHO WAS THE LEADER OF THE COUNTRY DURING THE GREAT DEPRESSION? LAST NAME KING…OKAY, MISTER DOMBROWSKI.

UH, YA, I HAVE HIM SLOTTED IN AT DEFENSE.

OKAY, DON’T PLAN ON DOING ANYTHING AFTER SCHOOL, I’LL SEE YOU FOR SOME QUALITY TIME.

EARL, SAME QUESTION.

UMMM, HE SOUNDS KIND OF IMPORTANT. DOES HE SHOOT RIGHT OR LEFT?

BAGGED ME ANOTHER AFTER SCHOOL DETAINEE.

WHAT THE?

ZOLTINI?

UHH, MY DOG ATE MY TEXTBOOK.

DETENTION!

THANKS FOR LETTING US STAY, MR. SOKOTO. IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO GET EVERYONE HERE TO SET UP THE LINES. FIRST PRACTICE, TOMORROW!

YES, YES, YES, YES!

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

OH NUTHIN’, JUST BUMPED IT GETTING OUT OF BED THIS MORNING.

OKAY GUYS, PRACTICE!

OKAY YOU GUYS WE’VE ONLYGOT A TOTAL OF THREE PUCKS, SO DON’T SHOOT THEM IN THE SNOWBANKS OR WE’RE HOOPED. FOLLOW ME.

HEY KID! I WAS WATCHING YOU GUYS TODAY.

THAT’S NOT TOO CREEPY, RAY.

WATCH IT, I GOT THE KEYS TO THE RINK YOU LIKE TO SKATE ON.

OH YA, FORGOT ABOUT THAT. WHAT’S UP?

YOU GUYS ARE AWFUL. I CAN SEE WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO DO, BUT THOSE KIDS, AND THAT ICE…PROBLEMS.

ALL WE NEED IS ENOUGH GUYS FOR TWO LINES AND THE LEAGUE DEPOSIT INTO THE COMMUNITY OFFICE IN TWO WEEKS.

THOSE AREN’T LINES, THOSE ARE ZIGZAGS. I CAN HELP YOU WITH THE DEPOSIT. BUT YOU NEED A COACH. I DON’T HAVE THE SKILLS. I THINK I KNOW WHO DOES, BUT IT’S GOING TO BE A TOUGH SELL.

YA, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

YOU’LL NEED TO WORK ON THAT ONE. HERE’S HOW I CAN HELP YOU WITH THE DEPOSIT. I NEED YOU TO COME OVER AFTER SCHOOL EVERY DAY WITH YOUR TEAMMATES AND SHOVEL THE RINK FOR TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT.

THEN YOU’LL HAVE YOUR MONEY. AND, I’LL THROW IN AN HOUR OF PRACTICE TIME TO BOOT.

THAT IS AWESOME!

THE COACH PART…IS UP TO YOU.

THANKS RAY!

ALRIGHT, SPILL IT.

GO AHEAD, TELL HIM.

FIRST OF ALL, I DON’T WANT YOU TO GET MAD. SECOND, I REALLY DON’T WANT YOU TO GET MAD. WE NEED A COACH.

AMBUSHED, HUH, KNEW IT. WELL I’M ALREADY MAD SO YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT THAT.

I GOT WORK UP MY YING-YANG, AND BESIDES THAT TEAM YOU’VE GOT STINKS WORSE THAN THE DUMP.

THAT’S WHY WE NEED YOUR HELP. WE CAN GET BETTER, I KNOW WE CAN. YOU PLAYED MINOR PRO. DAD, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

OKAY, SON, LOOK. I PLAYED, PLAYED, TWO YEARS IN ESTAVAN. THAT DON’T MAKE ME A COACH. WHEN I QUIT THE GAME, I LEFT FOR GOOD.

BILL, THAT WAS THEN AND THIS IS NOW. THIS IS HIS CHANCE.

CHANCE. A CHANCE FOR WHAT? A CHANCE TO CHASE A PIECE OF FROZEN RUBBER AROUND FROM TOWN TO TOWN, THEN NEVER MAKE IT? BETTER TO LEAVE THE SKATES, LEARN HOW TO DRIVE A TRUCK.

HE JUST WANTS TO PLAY, BILL. DON’T PUT YOUR EXPERIENCES ON TOP OF HIS.

BILLY, GO UPSTAIRS AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

DON’T’ EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF THE BOY. WE’VE HAD THIS DISCUSSION BEFORE.

YES, AND WE AGREED IF HIS GRADES WERE GOOD HE COULD TRY OUT FOR HOCKEY. YOU KNOW HE’S GOOD.

GOOD DON’T CUT IT, KATE. ONE KID OUT OF A THOUSAND MAKES IT. A THOUSAND! YOU WANT HIM TO HAVE THE SAME DISAPPOINTMENT THAT I DID?

I WANT HIM TO B HAPPY. THIS IS HIS LOVE AND HIS PASSION. WHAT DO WE CARE IF HE DOESN’T MAKE IT?

OH, HE’LL CARE ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US. IT’S THE KIND OF THING THAT GNAWS AT YOU WHEN YOU GET THERE AND YOU MISS THE BIG LEAGUES BY A WHISPER. I WON’T COACH HIM, FINAL!

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I CAN SAY I’M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, IN ALL OF OUR YEARS MARRIED. YOU’RE NOT A SELFISH MAN, BUT THIS TAKES THE CAKE.

YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE IN TOWN QUALIFIED TO HELP THESE KIDS OUT, YOUR OWN SON TO BEGIN WITH.

AND YOU WON’T DO IT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU TWENTY YEARS AGO. IT’S NOT FAIR TO BILLY AND QUITE FRANKLY, IT’S NOT FAIR TO YOURSELF.

WHAT, DID YOU FALL OUT OF BED AGAIN?

FORGET ABOUT THAT. I DON’T KNOW IF YOU SAW WHAT I SAW BUT MAYBE WE SHOULD CONSIDER TAKING UP ANOTHER SPORT. I MEAN, I’M GOOD, BUT EVERYONE ELSE THERE SHOULD JUST BURN THEIR GEAR.

YOU’RE GOOD? YOU CAN’T SKATE FORWARDS OR BACKWARDS, YOU USE YOUR GOALIE STICK AS A CANE, AND IF YOU STOP THE PUCK IT’S ONLY BY ACCIDENT.

LISTEN, YOU’RE JUST BEING OVER-CRITICAL.

I HAD TO TIE UP YOUR SKATES, YOU DINGUS.

I’LL GET BETTER!

YOU’D BETTER!

WHAT WE NEED IS A SECRET WEAPON TO GET OUR TEAM TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO FIND THAT?

I DON’T KNOW, BUT I’LL KNOW WHEN I SEE IT. TALK TO YOU LATER.

SEE YOU BILL.

HEY SQUIRREL. I’VE GOT SOME QUESTIONS FOR YOU.

QUESTIONS? IS YOUR BRAIN ACTUALLY FUNCTIONING?

FIRST QUESTION. WHAT’S WITH YOU AND HAWAIIN SHIRTS?

I LIKE COLOUR! MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY SOME. NOT EVERYTHING’S BLACK AND WHITE.

YOU WILL GET A BLACK EYE IF YOU KEEP UP WITH THOSE WISE CRACKS. SECOND QUESTION. WHY ARE YOU SUCH A SQUIRREL?

WHY DON’T YOU USE YOUR TIME A LITTLE MORE PRODUCTIVELY. I’VE SEEN YOU PLAY HOCKEY.

MAYBE YOU COULD SPEND SOME MORE TIME IN THE PENALTY BOX IN THE ARENA FOR STARTERS.

WATCH OUT FOR THE CARETAKER!

WHERE?

NOW THAT IS HOW YOU HANDLE A PESKY RODENT!

NOW THAT’S A SECRET WEAPON.

FIRST WE’RE GOING TO CONCENTRATE ON THE SKATING, IT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. AND WE’RE GOING TO START WITH BACKWARDS SKATING, CAUS MOST OF YOU ARE CRAP AT IT, AND THAT’S PUTTING IT NICELY.

WE’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO TOUCH THE PUCK, CAUSE IF YOU CAN’T SKATE, YOU SURE AS HECK CAN’T SHOOT. NOW LET’S GET STARTED!

WHAT’S WRONG WITH ASKING HER?

IT’S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

IT’S A GREAT IDEA. I SAY WE ASK HER.

LISTEN, THEY PLAY WITH A DONUT.

YA, AND I’LL BET YOU DOLLARS TO DONUTS SHE PLAYS BETTER THAN YOU DO IN HER SLEEP.

LET’S HAVE A VOTE. ALL THOSE IN FAVOUR FOR HAVING SUMMER ON THE TEAM. WITH MY VOTE, MAJORITY RULES. WE ASK HER.

AND IF SHE’S CRAP, SHE’S OUT!

I’M NOT AN IDIOT. IF SHE’S CRAP WE LEAVE HER. IF SHE’S GOOD, AND I’M BETTING THAT SHE IS…WE TAKE HER.

WATCH OUT!

NO, YOU TALK TO HER!

YOU TALK TO HER!

YOU TALK TO HER.

OKAY, I’LL TALK TO HER.

YES?

YOU’RE SUMMER MORRISETTE, RIGHT?

YOU GUYS SELLING COOKIES?

GOOD ONE. NOT A BAD THOUGHT. MARK THAT DOWN AS A FUND RAISING IDEA. WE’VE GOT A BETTER IDEA. HOW WOULD YOU, LIKE THE CHANCE TO SHOW THIS TOWN WHAT GIRL POWER IS ALL ABOUT?

THAT SOUNDS SEXIST.

NO, NO, JUST TRYING TO GIVE YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW THAT YOU’RE JUST ABOUT BETTER THAN EVERYONE.

THAT SOUNDS MADE UP.

HELP ME OUT HERE, GUYS!

LISTEN, WE WANT YOU TO PLAY FOR OUR HOCKEY TEAM.

YA, WE’VE SEEN YOU SKATE AND YOU’RE GOOD. PROBABLY NOT AS GOOD AS ME, YET.

HEY, WATCH IT BUSTER. YOU’RE ON THIN ICE.

JUST SAYING. DON’T GET ME WRONG HERE, I KNOW YOU CAN HELP US.

I ALREADY PLAY FOR THE GIRL’S TEAM, AND THEIR LOCKER ROOM ISN’T AS STINKY AS YOURS.

I KNOW, BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD PLAY FOR US. YOU COULD DO BOTH IF YOU WANT.

WHY PLAY FOR YOU? GIVE ME A GOOD REASON.

CAUSE WE SUCK! YOU CAN HELP US UNSUCK! YOU CAN PLAY FIRST LINE DEFENSE. I’VE SEEN YOU SKATE AND YOU CAN MOVE THE RING. MOVING THE PUCK, THAT’S WHAT WE NEED.

I’VE HEARD YOU GUYS DON’T EVEN HAVE A COACH.

WE’RE WORKING ON IT. AS LONG AS WE HAVE ONE BEFORE OUR FIRST PRACTICE GAME, THE LEAGUE WILL LET US IN.

BETTER HURRY UP. THE FIRST GAME’S IN TWO WEEKS.

HEY, HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT US ANYWAY?

HEH, I OWN THIS TOWN. BESIDES, I’VE SEEN YOU GUYS SCOUTING ME OUT AND I’VE ALSO SEEN YOU GUYS PRACTICE. YOU GUYS ARE TERRIBLE!

THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! YOU CAN GET US FROM TERRIBLE TO MOSTLY BAD, AND THEN WE’LL GO FROM THERE.

I’LL THINK ABOUT IT AND HAVE MY AGENT CALL YOU.

WHO’S YOUR AGENT?

MY MOM, STUPID!

I REALLY THINK SHE LIKES US.

NO, NO.

HEY, KID. I’VE GOT SOME IMPORTANT NEWS FOR YOU.

YOU GOT US A NEW TEAM?

YA, WHEN PIGS AND LUNKHEADS LIKE YOU FLY. YA, NO, I FOUND YOU A NEW COACH.

NO KIDDING, WHO?

RENE TREMBLAY FROM OVER AT THE ARENA.

RENE, HE CAN’T EVEN SKATE!

I KNOW, HE WOULDN’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN OFFSIDES AND A SNOWMAN.

BUT HIS GRANDFATHER WON THE CUP JUST BEFORE THE WAR. I FIGURE THE POMME DE TERRE DOESN’T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE.

YA, WELL, THIS ONE DID.

DOESN’T MATTER. HE’S AN ADULT, YOU NEED A COACH. HE’LL DO FOR NOW UNTIL YOU KNOW WHO AGREES.

RAY, HE SAYS HE WON’T DO IT.

YOU LEAVE THAT TO YOUR MOTHER AND ME. YOU KEEP PRACTICING.

YOU ACTUALLY MADE SOME PRETTY DECENT SAVES TODAY.

WHAT CAN I SAY, I’M ONE IN A MILLION.

HEY, I WANTED TO ASK YOU A QUESTION.

SHOOT.

I SAW THOSE GUYS BUGGING YOU. ARE THEY BEATING YOU UP AFTER SCHOOL?

IT’S NOTHING I CAN’T HANDLE.

YA, THE BLOODY NOSES SPEAK OTHERWISE.

WHAT DO I DO ABOUT IT? THOSE GUYS NEED SOMEONE TO PICK ON.

I’M THE GUY THIS WEEK. THAT’S HOW IT GOES. AFTER ME IT WILL BE SOMEONE ELSE. THAT’S JUST HOW IT ALWAYS WORKS.

YA WELL, WE CAN PUSH BACK.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE?

EARL, WE’RE A TEAM. YOU’RE MY FRIEND.

YOUR FRIEND?

YA, YOU STOOGE, YOU’RE MY FRIEND. IF WE DON’T STAND UP FOR EACH OTHER, THEY WIN.

LISTEN, I APPRECIATE IT. BUT THINGS LIKE THAT DON’T CHANGE.

YA, WELL, IF WE STICK TOGETHER, IT WILL.

OKAY, I’VE DECIDED I’LL PLAY FOR YOU GUYS, ON ONE CONDITION.

I GET MY OWN CHANGE ROOM! I CANNOT HANDLE FIFTEEN SWEATY HOCKEY PLAYERS AT ONCE. AND THE STENCH COMING FROM THE GLOVES, I CAN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

I KNEW SHE LIKED US.

RENE!

MES AMIS! I’VE BEEN WAITING AND WAITING TO HONOUR MON GRAND PERE. LE JOUR EST EN FAIT ARRIVEE. THIS IS THE DAY!

HOW’S YOUR SKATING?

AH, IT SUCKS CRAP! BUT LIKE MONTECALM, WE WILL WIN.

YOU’RE GETTING YOUR HISTORY A LITTLE SCREWED UP THERE, RENE. MONTECALM DIED ON THE BATTLEFIELD.

POUTINE AND PEPPER, THAT HURTS!

WE’RE IN TROUBLE.

YOU MAY THINK SO, BUT I FOUND A TEAM FOR YOU TO PLAY WITH.

THEY HAVEN’T SEEN THESE GUYS PRACTICE?

MAIS, NON.

YOU’RE IN FOR A TREAT.

THANKS, RAY. BUT DON’T WORRY, WE’LL BE READY.

WE HAVE OUR FIRST GAME. BUT WHAT WE DON’T HAVE IS THE EXTRA TIME TO STRATEGIZE. BUT I HAVE AN IDEA.

ALL RIGHT CLASS, TODAY WE’RE TALKING ABOUT THE KARST PAVEMENT IN THE INNER LAKE REGION OF MANITOBA. BILLY, THIRTY SECONDS, GLACIERS, GO!

ZONE DEFENSE.

DETENTION! EARL, SAME THING, THIRTY SECONDS, LIMESTONE, HUMIC ACIDS, WHAT YA GOT?

OKAY, SO IN MR. SOKOTO’S CLASS THERE WAS A DOG THAT ATE ZOLTON’S TEXTBOOK. ANYWAY, HE WANDERED OVER TO MY HOUSE AND DID THE EXACT SAME THING.

DITTO.

TWO TALES OF THE PHANTOM POOCH, DOUBLE DETENTION!

OKAY, WE’LL WORK ON THOSE DRILLS FOR NEXT PRACTICE. EARL, I HAVE AN IDEA FOR YOU.

SO, THAT’S JUST IT, IF YOU’RE GOING TO GET IN MY WAY, I’LL JUST PUSH YOU TO THE SIDE.

GET OUT OF HERE, YOU GUYS, GO.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

WE WANT TO MAKE A BET.

A BET?

WE’RE PLAYING YOUR TEAM THIS WEEK.

IS THAT RIGHT?

WE WIN, YOU LEAVE MY FRIEND, EARL, ALONE.

AND IF YOU DON’T WIN. WE’LL GO AFTER HIM, DOUBLE!

WE’LL TAKE THAT CHANCE.

MAY I SAY SOMETHING?

LIKE I SAID, WE’LL TAKE THAT CHANCE AS LONG AS YOU KEEP YOUR WORD.

YOU LOSE, DOUBLE!

FIRSTLY, SOME GOOD NEWS. I CALLED IN A FEW FAVOURS AND I GOT YOU GUYS SOME UNIFORMS.

YOU ARE THE RENEGADES!

UNFORTUNATELY, IT WON’T MAKE YOU ANY BETTER.

WHAT’S UP, BILLY? I HAVE A LOT OF HOMEWORK TO GET TO.

HAVE YOU NOTICED ANYTHING STRANGE GOING ON WITH EARL?

YOU MEAN BESIDES THE FACT THAT HE CAN’T STOP THE PUCK?

ALWAYS THE JOKER.

I’M SERIOUS.

AGAIN WITH THE HUMOUR. NO, I MEAN HE’S PRETTY RATTLED. HE’S GOT A GOOD OUTSIDE SHELL, BUT HE’S HAVING SOME PROBLEMS WITH ONE GUY IN PARTICULAR.

PICKING ON EARL? HE CAN DEFLECT ANYTHING. EXCEPT, A ROUND, BLACK, PIECE OF RUBBER.

NOW I’M SERIOUS. HE’S HAVING A HARD TIME.

WELL, I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. I AM A GIRL PLAYING IN A BOY’S HOCKEY LEAGUE. WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP?

I THINK WE JUST NEED TO LET HIM KNOW THAT WE HAVE HIS BACK.

HE SHOULD KNOW THAT. WE’RE A TEAM. WE STAND TOGETHER. EVEN IF ONE OF US CAN’T EVEN STAND UP IN HIS OWN NET.

AGAIN WITH THE JOKES. BUT, I AGREE WITH YOU. HE NEEDS SOME EXTRA CONFIDENCE BOOSTING.

HE ACTS LIKE HE HAS A LOT, BUT I THINK IT’S A BIT OF A BLUFF.

IF WE GIVE HIM SOME EXTRA SHOTS AT PRACTICE AND SOME MORE ENCOURAGEMENT ON THE ICE, HE’LL DO FINE.

I’VE SEEN HIM PLAY WHEN HE’S RELAXED AND HE CAN MAKE SOME SAVES THAT WOULD SURPRISE YOU.

I’M DOWN WITH THAT. JUST DON’T LET HIM KNOW I SAID ALL OF THIS. I HAVE A REPUTATION TO KEEP, YOU KNOW.

HEY, RENE.

BILLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU CAME TO PAY ME SOME COMPLIMENTS?

YOU SURE DON’T LACK CONFIDENCE. WELL, CONFIDENCE ISN’T GOING TO MATTER. DO YOU HAVE ANY PLAYS SET UP?

NO.

ANY LINES PUT TOGETHER?

ZERO.

DO YOU HAVE ANY GAME PLAN WHATSOEVER?

NO, THAT MEANS, NO.

AND THAT’S WHY CONFIDENCE IS NOT GOING TO MATTER HERE. WE HAVE TO PUT SOMETHING TOGETHER QUICKLY, OR WE’RE GOING TO GET ANNIHILATED.

WELL, REMEMBER IT WAS MY GRAND PERE WHO USED TO PLAY HOCKEY. I LIKE TO SWIM.

YOU’RE IN DEEP WATER OVER YOUR HEAD. TALK TO RAY AND I’LL TALK TO SUMMER ABOUT SETTING UP SOME PLAYS.

OKAY, I WILL DO THAT.

SO HOW DO YOU PROPOSE TO COACH THESE KIDS?

I DON’T UNDERSTAND.

WHAT IS YOUR GAME PLAN?

PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU HAVE A STRATEGY?

WELL, I’VE BEEN KNOWN TO FLY BY THE SEAT OF MY UNDERWEARS. HA, THIS WILL JUST BE ANOTHER OF THOSE TIMES.

IT’S SEAT OF YOUR PANTS. AND THESE KIDS' PARENTS ARE GOING TO RIP YOUR PANTS IF YOU DON’T HAVE A STRATEGY.

YOU’RE MAKING MY HEART GO BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, I DON’T HAVE GAME PLAN, I DON’T HAVE STRATEGIES, I DON’T, I DON’T KNOW HOCKEY!

SIMMER DOWN, OKAY. I THOUGHT THIS MIGHT HAPPEN. SO I’VE DRAWN UP SOME BASIC PLAYS THAT YOU CAN MEMORIZE AND THE KIDS CAN PUT IN PLACE TOMORROW.

NOW, THEY’RE TERRIBLE, BUT IF BILLY AND SUMMER CAN FOLLOW THESE BASIC STEPS, THEY MIGHT NOT GET SUPER-SLAUGHTERED.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS BREAK OUT PLAN?

IT’S PRETTY GOOD, BUT REMEMBER, IF WE COMMIT WE HAD BETTER LET
THE TRAILING D-MAN KNOW TO GET BACK IN CASE OF A TURNOVER.

GOOD POINT.

BON, SO, YOU SHOOT THE PUCK AND YOU PUT IT IN THE GOAL. THAT’S MY SPEECH.

WHAT HE MEANS IS, LET’S PROTECT OUR ZONE.

EVERYBODY BACK. SUMMER, STAY DOWN LOW AND PLAY THE PUCK OFF THE BOARDS AND OUT.

TWO MAN BREAKOUTS UNTIL WE GET A FEEL FOR THESE GUYS AND THIRD MAN AS THE TRAILER.

PLAY ALL THE SHOTS LOW AND COVER THE BOTTOM HALF OF THE NET. GOT IT?

DOUBLE, DOUBLE, DOUBLE.

GO HOCKEY PLAYERS!

THOSE KIDS ARE GOING TO GET THEIR BUTTS KICKED.

WHERE’S THE PUCK?

I’M GOING TO ENJOY THIS. WE’VE GOT PLANS FOR EARL. GOOD LUCK.

LUCK’S FOR SUCKERS.

DOUBLE, DOUBLE, DOUBLE.

GO BEES, GO BEES!

THAT WAS THE PERIOD! GET OFF YOUR GEAR IT’S TIME TO GO HOME.

NO, NO, WE HAVE TWO MORE PERIODS!

TWO MORE PERIODS? BUT, WHAT DO WE DO THEN?

WE PLAY MORE HOCKEY.

OKAY, OKAY, THAT’S GOOD, THAT’S GOOD, THAT’S WHAT WE CAME FOR. WELL, BON CHANCE, I’M GOING HOME.

NO, NO, WE NEED YOU!

WELL THAT’S NICE, BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW I AM NEW TO THIS SO YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN.

WE ALREADY KNEW THAT.

OH, THAT’S BEAUMONT SARCASM. BUT I AM GOOD WITH THAT. OK THEN, WELL GET OUT THERE AND SCORE SOME GOALS, HUH. SCORE SOME GOALS! YOU GOT THIS!

END OF SECOND PERIOD AND I’M EXTREMELY NERVOUS, BUT I CAN’T LET THE TEAM KNOW, I CAN’T LET THE TEAM KNOW.

WE’RE RIGHT HERE, WE CAN HEAR EVERY WORD!

OH YA, WELL, WHAT AM I THINKING NOW?

YOU’RE A HOCKEY BAG FULL OF NERVES AND YOU NEED TO GO TO THE WASHROOM.

C’EST BIEN, THAT IS CORRECT.

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO SUCK AS BAD AS WE DO!

WELL PLAYED, DOMBROWSKI.

IT WAS A TIE, THE BET WAS FOR A WIN. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT EARL?

I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT. HE KEEPS HIS MOUTH SHUT, I’LL LET HIM BE.

KEEPING HIS MOUTH SHUT IS GONNA BE A PROBLEM, BUT I’LL TELL HIM.

HE DOES THAT, I TURN MY BACK. OH, AND LET HIM KNOW THAT WAS A PRETTY GOOD, FRIKKIN SAVE. SEE YOU AT THE PLAYOFFS.

HEY.

YOU CAME.

I USUALLY DO. YOU AND BILL MAY NOT SEE ME, BUT I MAKE MOST GAMES.

THAT’S A BIT OF A SURPRISE.

YA, UMM, LOOK HERE, WE’RE DRIVING DOWN THE SAME ROAD. AND, I’LL WATCH FROM AFAR BUT I JUST CAN’T GET BEHIND THIS, I CAN’T DO IT.

BILL, I KNOW, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. THE MEMORIES YOU HAVE OF HOCKEY ARE, UNCOMFORTABLE.

LIKE I SAID, IT’S THE GAME, MY FATHER, IT’S JUST TOTAL FRUSTRATION.

I’LL GIVE YOU THAT. YOU KNOW WHAT IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME FOR EVERYTHING, OKAY.

YOU SEE THAT’S NOT, THAT’S NOT TRUE. HOCKEY’S STILL AN UPHILL MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB.

AND AS FOR MY FATHER, HE CAME FROM THE SCHOOL OF DOUBLY HARD KNOCKS.

WHEN I HAD FAILURES, AND BELIEVE ME KATE, I HAD A LOT OF FAILURES, HE COULDN’T EVEN TALK TO ME ABOUT IT.

HE HAD NO SKILL FOR SMALL TALK, LET ALONE GET INTO A CONVERSATION THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF.

I SEE THAT, I DO, OKAY. THIS IS WHERE WE CAN HELP, BILLY AND I.

LET US HELP YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT THIS. WE’RE YOUR BIGGEST SUPPORTERS.

WITH US YOU ARE THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF FAILURE.

YOU TAKING ON A LARGER ROLE WITH BILLY’S HOCKEY IS NOT A NEGATIVE, IT’S NOT A RISK.

IT’S A REWARD, FOR ALL OF US.

AND HE’S NOT GOING TO CARE WHETHER THAT TEAM WINS OR LOSES BECAUSE HE’S SPENDING TIME WITH YOU, OKAY.

AS FOR YOUR DAD, THAT’S, THAT’S ANCIENT HISTORY.

YA, I WISH. I GOTTA GO.

OKAY.

I’VE GOT A LATE PICKUP FOR WORK. I’LL SEE YOU AT HOME.

I’M GLAD WE COULD SOLVE YOUR PROBLEM, EARL. BUT I’VE GOT A QUESTION.

WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL YOUR PARENTS THIS? THEY PROBABLY COULD HAVE GOT THIS OFF YOUR BACK SOONER THAN WE DID.

MY PARENTS WERE DEAF TO THIS.

YA, MY PARENTS DON’T LISTEN EITHER.

NO, I MEAN THEY ARE DEAF, SEVERELY HEARING IMPAIRED. I LOVE THEM A LOT AND IT’S HARD FOR THEM TO HAVE TO HANDLE, HEAVY, CRAPPY STUFF LIKE THIS. SO, I LEAVE THEM OUT OF IT.

SO YOU KNOW SIGN LANGUAGE?

SINCE I WAS A KID.

THAT’S PRETTY COOL.

I GUESS SO, I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT MUCH OF IT.

YA, MY MOM WOULD HAVE KILLED THAT GUY!

YOUR MOM? HOW ABOUT YOUR DAD?

MY PARENTS ARE DIVORCED. I DON’T SEE MY DAD MUCH.

BUT MY MOM, SHE’S AWESOME. SHE’S REALLY BUSY THOUGH, SHE’S A NURSE. BUT SHE STILL TAKES ME TO ALL MY GAMES.

HERE’S TO MORE WINS!

RAY? ARE YOU IN HERE?

YA, KATE, I’M IN HERE.

LOVE WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO THE PLACE. I GOT YOUR PHONE MESSAGE. WHAT’S UP?

HEY, I DO MY BEST THINKING IN HERE. THE SMELL OF THE MOTOR OIL MAKES MY BRAIN GO FASTER.

THANKS FOR COMING.

YOU WANTED TO TALK ABOUT BILL, I’M ASSUMING.

YA, THIS IS SERIOUS NOW. I’M NOT A COACH.

AND RENE, HE’S A HELLUVA GUY, BUT HE’S NOT EVEN REMOTELY A COACH.

HE’S THE ADULT THAT HELPED THE KIDS PUT THIS TEAM TOGETHER.

AS A LEADER, HE’S A MESS. I’LL SAY IT AGAIN, THE KIDS THINK HE’S A HOOT AND HE’S MADE A HECK OF AN EFFORT.

YA, AND THE GUY WE NEED TO CONVINCE IS BEING A REAL JERK RIGHT NOW.

YA, WELL, HE’S GOT A GREAT LIFE BUT I THINK HE’S GOT SOME MINOR REGRETS, YOU KNOW.

HE’S GOING TO HAVE A FEW MORE, BELIEVE ME.

BESIDES, THAT’S LIFE. WHAT HE HAS, THE HOME THAT WE HAVE, HE SHOULD BE THANKING HIS LUCKY STARS.

BILLY AND I WE LOVE WHAT WE HAVE, BUT HE’S STUBBORN, AND SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO BEAT HIM OVER THE HEAD TO MAKE HIM TAKE NOTICE.

WELL, YOU, ME AND BILLY ARE GOING TO HAVE TO BE AS TOUGH AS HE IS TO CONVINCE HIM.

WELL, IT’S CERTAINLY WORTH A TRY. BILLY AND THE REST OF THE TEAM, THEY DESERVE THAT. RAY, THANK YOU.

HELLO.
HI, RENE. THE GODFATHER WILL SEE YOU NOW.

WHAT, WHAT…THE GODFATHER OF THE RINKSHACK? UH, HELLO? HELLO?

YOU CAN KISS MY HAND IF YOU WANT TO, BUT I WOULDN’T.

OKAY, MISTER FUNNY GUY, I HAVE WARM APPLE SAUCE GETTING COLD IN MY TRUCK. UH, DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY COACHING? I HAVE A PERFECT RECORD.

YOU HAVE A TIE ON THE BOOKS. AS MUCH AS I APPRECIATE YOUR COACHING STYLE. WE NEED BILL SR.

YES, YES, I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT TOO. MAYBE WE CAN USE A HOCKEY STICK AND HIT HIM OVER THE HEAD.

EASY, RENE, WE USE OUR WORDS.

LIKE, LIKE, LIKE SWEAR WORDS?

JUST SHOW UP AT THE DOMBROWSKI PLACE TOMORROW.

WE’LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET BILL SR. ON BOARD.

OKAY. AND NOW ABOUT THAT APPLE SAUCE.

HOW ABOUT THAT APPLE SAUCE.

COME IN.

HELLO.

WHAT’S THIS ALL ABOUT?

YOU KNOW DARN WELL, BILL. THIS IS A HOCKEY INTERVENTION.

LISTEN, I KNOW I’M A GREAT COACH, BUT I WAS THINKING…

YOU’RE WHAT THE FRENCH SAY, GOD AWFUL!

BUT…

BILL, THIS NONSENSE HAS TO STOP. THESE KIDS NEED A CHANCE. AND YOU ARE THAT CHANCE. YOU’VE SEEN WHAT THEY CAN DO WITH LIMITED INSTRUCTION.

I KNOW I SHOULD TAKE OFFENSE TO THIS, BUT I AM THINKING OF THE TEAM NOW.

YA, YOU’RE A REAL SPORT. LISTEN BILL, I THINK WE SHOULD LET THE KID DO THE TALKING. HE SPEAKS BEST FOR ALL OF US. KID.

DAD, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU’VE SAID. I KNOW YOU DON’T WANT ME TO GO THROUGH THE SAME DISAPPOINTMENT AS YOU DID. BUT HERE’S WHAT I THINK. I LOVE HOCKEY. YOU KNOW THAT AND MOM KNOWS THAT.

I’M A KID. I HAVE A LONG TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I’M GOING TO DO, WHETHER OR NOT THAT INVOLVES HOCKEY. BUT RIGHT NOW, RIGHT NOW, IT IS HOCKEY. THAT’S WHERE MY FRIENDS ARE AND THAT’S WHERE I WANT TO BE.

YOU HEAR THAT, BILL. YOU ASSOCIATE THE GAME WITH FAILURE. HE DOESN’T. AND THIS IS ABOUT YOUR SON.

OKAY, ALL OF YOU, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. I’M GOING OUTSIDE TO DO MY CHORES. I’LL THINK ABOUT IT, AND I’LL GIVE YOU MY ANSWER WHEN I COME BACK. IT WILL BE MY FINAL ANSWER. SO DON’T BUG ME ANYMORE.

THAT WENT WELL.

HEY, I’M NOT THAT BAD, AM I?

SO, IF WE AGREE TO THIS, WE PLAY BY MY RULES.

WE’LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES.

EVERYBODY HAS TO SHOW UP FOR PRACTICE, ALL THE TIME, NO EXCUSES, AND IT’S GOING TO BE HARD. THAT’S THE WAY I PLAYED. THAT’S THE WAY I’LL COACH. GOT IT?

GOT IT!

GOOD.
THANK YOU.

IMAGINE FINDING YOU HERE. HERE’S A COUPLE OF SANDWICHES TO KEEP YOU GOING THROUGH THE BIG DECISIONS.

YOU WANTED ME TO COACH THESE KIDS. I’M GOING TO GIVE IT ALL THAT I HAVE, WHICH MEANS I’LL BE SPENDING A LOT OF EVENINGS HERE.

HOW DID YOU GET THIS OFFICE ANYWAYS?

YOU’D BE SURPRISED WHAT KIND OF ARENA CRED AN EX, MINOR, PRO, HOCKEY PLAYER GETS AROUND HERE.

WHO’S ON VACATION?

YA, IT’S JIM. HE HURT HIS BACK SHOVELING. WHICH IS FUNNY, BECAUSE HE HAS A ZAMBONI OUT THERE WHICH IS PRETTY MUCH THE LARGEST SHOVEL IN THE WORLD. IT’S KIND OF IRONIC. BUT UH, THIS BABY’S ALL MINE FOR THE NEXT LITTLE WHILE.

WELL AS LONG AS YOU REMEMBER WHERE YOU REALLY LIVE. AND, NOW THAT YOU’RE IN, TAKE IT EASY ON THE KIDS, OKAY. REMEMBER THAT THEY ARE KIDS. YOU SOMETIMES CAN GET A LITTLE BIT INTENSE.

I TOLD BILLY THAT I’M GOING TO COACH IT MY WAY. YOU KNOW, YOU WERE SITTING RIGHT THERE.

THAT’S FINE. I’LL BACK OFF. I’LL BACK OFF.

THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW WHO WOULD ACTUALLY LIKE THIS OFFICE, THOUGH.

WHO?

YOUR DAD. YOU SHOULD GIVE HIM A CALL.

YA, I’M ACTUALLY REALLY, REALLY ENJOYING WHAT I’M DOING RIGHT NOW. SO, THAT’S GOING TO BE A HARD NO.

JUST SAYING, JUST SAYING. ALLRIGHT, HAVE A GOOD EVENING. LOVE YOU.

LOVE YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

ALRIGHT GUYS, LISTEN UP. SO, I GOT US INTO A MINI TOURNAMENT THIS WEEKEND, ALRIGHT. IT’S GOING TO BE A BIG TEST, SO I WANT YOU ALL RESTED.

ALRIGHT. NOW THERE’S GOING TO BE SOME BIG TEAMS WE’RE COMING UP AGAINST, BUT YOU’VE ALL WORKED PRETTY HARD. SO, UH, YOU GUYS EXCITED?

YAAA!!

GOOD.
YES COACH. NICE!

REMEMBER, THREE GUYS IN THE NEUTRAL ZONE. WHEN WE DROP BACK, TWO GUYS HIGH. YOU GUYS KNOW I’M RIGHT ON THIS.

ACTUALLY, I HAVE A QUESTION.

UH-HUH?

IF A TEENAGE BOY MAKES A POINT OUT LOUD AND A TEENAGE GIRL IS NOWHERE IN SIGHT. IS THE TEENAGE BOY STILL WRONG?

THE ANSWER IS YES! NOW FIX THE STRAPS ON YOUR GOALIE PADS. YOU SCREWED THEM UP AGAIN.

ALRIGHT GUYS, LISTEN UP.

SO, WE’VE HAD A LOT OF GOOD PRACTICES LATELY, AND WE’RE MAKING A LOT OF PROGRESS, BUT IN SAYING THAT THERE’S A FEW AREAS THAT WE CAN STILL SHORE UP.

I WANT YOU TO SAY HI TO A FEW NEW TEAMMATES HERE. NOW, THESE GUYS ARE ON LOAN TO US FOR ABOUT A WEEK OR TWO

AND I THINK THEY CAN REALLY ADD TO WHAT WE’VE GOT GOING ON HERE. SO, WE’RE GOING TO JUGGLE THINGS UP A BIT.

DID YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON.

EARL, YOU’RE BACKUP TONIGHT.

SHOT!

HEAD MAN THE PUCK, HEAD MAN THE PUCK! GO, GO!

YES, YES, YES!

TWO FORECHECKERS IN! WE’RE GETTING A LITTLE LAZY, A LITTLE SLOPPY. WE’RE ONLY SENDING ONE MAN IN. WE NEED TWO GUYS ON THE PUCK NO MATTER WHAT. NON-STOP.

CAN YOU BELIEVE COACH BILL?

NO!

ANOTHER GOOD GAME GUYS! ONE STEP CLOSER TO PLAYOFFS.

FOR YOU MAYBE.

YA, MY BUTT HURTS FROM RIDING THE BENCH FOR WAY TOO LONG THERE BUD.

I GOTTA BE HONEST HERE, BILLY. THE RINGETTE TEAM WANTS ME BACK FULL TIME, AND I’M GONNA DO IT.

YOUR DAD IS TAKING THE FUN OUT OF THIS FOR ME. WHAT’S HIS PROBLEM? HE DOESN’T LIKE GIRLS PLAYING HOCKEY?

HE’S OLD SCHOOL.

YA, LIKE HE GRADUATED GRADE SIX AND WENT TO WORK IN THE SALT MINE. THIS IS NOW! YOUR DAD IS DEAD WRONG ABOUT THIS, HOW HE’S HANDLING THIS TEAM.

THE ONLY REASON WHY WE’VE IMPROVED SO MUCH IS BECAUSE WE HAVE A WEIRD MIX THAT RELIES UPON EVERYONE PULLING TOGETHER. YOUR DAD JUST WANTS FIVE SUPERSTARS AND FORGETS ABOUT THE REST OF US.

HE’S NOT THAT EASY TO TALK TO.

I’LL TALK TO HIM. IT’S ABOUT TIME SOMEBODY DID.

LET ME TALK TO HIM. JUST DON’T QUIT THE TEAM YET.

YA, AND IF SHE QUITS THE TEAM, I QUIT!

DON’T GET SMART! TWO PYLONS AND A JERSEY, AND YOU’RE REPLACED. JUST LET ME TALK TO HIM FOR THE BOTH OF YOU. SEE YOU NEXT PRACTICE.

HEY DAD. CAN WE TALK?

YA, SURE, WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND?

IT’S ABOUT THE TEAM.

SHOOT.

WE’VE BEEN GETTING SOME COMPLAINTS FROM SOME OF THE GUYS.

LIKE WHAT?

IF YOU’RE GOING TO GET MAD STRAIGHT OFF, FORGET ABOUT IT.

NO, OKAY, WHAT’S UP?

WELL, WE’VE ALL BEEN WORKING REALLY HARD AND WE NEED TO IMPROVE. WE KNOW THAT!

BUT, YOU’RE BENCHING SOME OF THE PLAYERS THAT HELPED BUILD THIS TEAM, AND SUMMER, YOU’RE BENCHING HER BECAUSE SHE’S A GIRL AND SHE’S GOOD.

I WANT TO LOOK AT ALL OF OUR OPTIONS. IF YOU WANT A TEAM THAT WINS, YOU HAVE THE BEST PLAYER IN EVERY POSITION.

THAT’S NOT NECESSARILY TRUE ALL THE TIME.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, WE WERE WINNING BEFORE BECAUSE WE ALL TRUST AND BELIEVE IN EACH OTHER. IF SOMEONE SLIPS, SOMEONE’S THERE TO BACK THEM UP.

SO YOU’RE SAYING YOU DON’T WANT THE NEW GUYS I BROUGHT IN?

WHAT I’M SAYING IS WE’RE GOOD WITH WHAT WE’VE GOT. WE TRUST EACH OTHER AND YOU NEED TO TRUST US TOO.

PRACTICES ARE GOING TO HAVE TO GET HARDER.

EVERYONE WANTS TO IMPROVE. BRING IT ON!

ALL RIGHT.

THANKS DAD.

NOW, SOME OF YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THAT WE HAVE A FEW LESS PLAYERS HERE. THAT’S RIGHT. WE GO WITH THIS TEAM.

NO MORE CHANGES. A LITTLE BIRD TOLD ME THAT MAYBE I WAS WRONG ABOUT THAT. SO BE IT.

NOW, WE’RE GOING TO MAKE MISTAKES, BUT I THINK EVERYONE IS GOING TO PICK EACH OTHER UP WHEN THEY KNOW WE MADE A MISTAKE.

AND THAT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. SUMMER, STARTING DEFENSE. EARL, GET YOUR GAME FACE ON, YOU’RE IN NET.

OKAY GUYS, I’VE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS AND I’VE GOT EVEN BETTER NEWS.

OKAY. WE GET TO PLAY IN THE REGIONAL FINALS. AND THEY’RE ON TV.

OKAY, SO WE’VE GOT SOME BIG PRACTICES COMING UP, OKAY.

GOALIE, DEFENCE, YOU GUYS ARE ON THE ICE AN HOUR EARLIER THAN EVERYONE ELSE THIS WEEK,

OKAY GUYS. AND IT IS PRACTICE EVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK. NOW, CAN YOU GUYS HANDLE IT?

YEAH!!!

LET’S GO!

HEY GUYS, THANKS FOR COMING. UMM, GOT A BIG FAVOUR TO ASK.

ASK AWAY.

NOW, I’M GOING TO NEED BOTH OF YOU GUYS TO HELP ME OUT ON THIS.

OF COURSE.

OKAY, WE’VE GOT A BIG TOURNAMENT COMING UP AND I MEAN BIG.

I’M GOING TO NEED YOU TWO TO CO-COACH.

HE GETS EMOTIONAL. BUT I’LL ANSWER FOR THE BOTH OF US. WE’RE IN.

OF COURSE I’LL PITCH IN. BUT, I COULDN’T HELP BUT NOTICE RENE ISN’T HERE.

YA, LET’S JUST SAY SOME RINKS ARE BETTER LEFT IN THE DARK.

DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE GUY. I MEAN, HE PLAYS DUMB REALLY WELL, REALLY WELL.

BUT THE KIDS LIKE HIM. THE KIDS DON’T LIKE YOU.

YA, I KNOW. BUT HE CRIES ON THE BENCH. I NEED EVERYONE FOCUSED. TRUTH BE TOLD, I’M HAVING SECOND AND THIRD THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM BEING ON THE BENCH WITH US.

LOOK, I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’VE NOTICED, BUT THIS TEAM IS THIS FAR AWAY FROM AWFUL. WE NEED RENE TO RUN THE LINES, OPEN THE GATES AND WALK BACK AND FORTH.

YOU DON’T KNOW A THING ABOUT HOCKEY, DO YOU?

NO, I DON’T. THAT’S WHY WE NEED RENE.

AND, IF YOU’RE GOING TO UNDERVALUE, FRENCHIE, THEN YOU MIGHT AS WELL THROW ME IN AS WELL.

NOW I’M HAVING FOURTH THOUGHTS ABOUT THE BOTH OF YOU.

LOOK, SHOW ME WHAT YOU’VE GOT PLANNED. I’LL TRANSLATE IT TO RENE, AND WE’LL TAKE IT FROM THERE. WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

NOW, I’M HAVING FIFTH THOUGHTS.

FINE, THIS IS THEIR ATTACK PLAN. THIS IS HOW THEY’RE GOING TO COME AT US.

RIGHT.

WELCOME HOCKEY FANS EVERYWHERE TO WHAT SHOULD BE ANOTHER GREAT NIGHT OF HOCKEY ACTION.

ONCE AGAIN, BY MY SIDE MY OLD BUDDY, FRANK SAILS TO HELP GUIDE ME THROUGH THIS FUNNY, FUNNY GAME.

GUIDE IS PUTTING IT MILDLY.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, I’VE DONE SOME RESEARCH SINCE OUR LAST BROADCAST, AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I’VE LEARNED THAT THERE ARE SIX BOYS OR GIRLS ON EITHER TEAM AND THEY OPPOSE EACH OTHER ON EITHER SIDE OF THE ICE.

SO FAR SO GOOD, REG, YA.

YA, YA, YA. AND THE PURPOSE OF THAT IS TO TRY AND SHOOT THE PUCK INTO THE OTHER GUY’S NET.

BY A COUNTRY MIRACLE, YES!

ALLRIGHT, OKAY, NOW BARE WITH ME NOW FOR A SECOND…WHERE IN THE DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS DOES THE BASKETBALL COME INTO THE WHOLE THING? WELL…I.

WHEN DOES MY CONTRACT EXPIRE?

I DON'T KNOW.

NOT SOON ENOUGH.

ALLRIGHT, WE’VE PLAYED THESE GUYS BEFORE. WE KNOW THEIR SYSTEM.

THEY’RE GOING TO COME OUT FAST AND CYCLE IT BIG TIME. THEY’LL WANT TO GET A LEAD AND THEN WAIT FOR OUR MISTAKES.

BUT IF WE PLAY THEM TIGHT FOR THE FIRST TEN MINUTES, WE’LL DO FINE.

DEFENSE, YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO HAVE TO PLAY THE BEST GAME YOU’VE EVERY PLAYED. YOU CAN HANDLE IT.

BILLY, YOU AND THE OTHER FORWARDS ARE GOING TO HAVE TO HELP OUT. MAKE YOUR BREAKOUTS CLEAN AND DON’T TAKE CHANCES.

IF WE HAVE TO OPEN IT UP, WE WILL. AND WE ACTUALLY HAVE A FEW TRICKS FOR THEM.

YOU’VE WORKED HARD TO GET HERE, YOU’VE PLAYED YOUR BEST TO GET HERE. SO, WIN OR LOSE, WE CAN BE PROUD OF OURSELVES. LET’S GO.

GO RENEGADES, YOU’VE GOT THIS!

WE MEET AGAIN, DOMBROWSKI.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO TELL YOUR TEAM TO FASTEN TO FASTEN THEIR SEATBELTS. IT’S GOING TO BE A DIFFERENT RIDE THIS TIME.

OOHH, A QUICK CHANCE BY THE RENEGADES!

WE ARE DEFINITELY IN FOR A GAME TODAY!

AND THAT ENDS THE FIRST PERIOD WITH NO SCORING.

LET’S GET READY FOR A GREAT SECOND PERIOD.

THANK YOU REG AND FRANK. WE’RE HERE WITH RENEGADE’S COACH, RENE TREMBLAY. PRETTY GOOD PERIOD FOR BOTH SIDES, COACH. WHAT DO YOU FEEL YOU NEED TO IMPROVE UPON?

MY ENGLISH.

OH BOY, I MEANT WITH THE TEAM. HOW DO YOU FEEL YOU DID WITH YOUR DEFENSE AND THE TIGHT CHECKS OUT THERE?

OH, I CAN TELL YOU THERE ARE NO FOREIGN PLAYERS ON THE ICE FROM CZECHOSLOVAKIA, OR ANYWHERE BUT CANADA.

BUT MY COUSIN HAS BEEN TO RUSSIA.

OKAY, THAT IS WHAT WE CALL A SWING AND A MISS.

ARE YOU PLANNING ON OPENING IT UP IN THE SECOND PERIOD?

OH YES, YES, THIS ONE I KNOW. I ALWAYS OPEN IT UP BEFORE THE PLAYERS GET ON THE ICE. I GRAB THE HANDLE AND I OPEN IT AND THEN THE PLAYERS FILE THROUGH. AND I LIKE TO DO THE LITTLE DOOR AT THE BENCH.

YOUCH! I’M NOT SURE I’M GOING TO HAVE A JOB AFTER THIS DEEP DISCUSSION. WE’LL TAKE YOU TO THE BREAK AND IF YOU SEE ME LATER IT’S ONLY BECAUSE MY SISTER-IN-LAW IS A PRODUCER AT THE NETWORK.

HECK OF A PERIOD, GUYS. WE’RE STAYING RIGHT WITH THEM. WE NEED TO PUT A LITTLE MORE PRESSURE ON THEIR DEFENCE ON OUR ZONE BREAK-INS, OKAY. SUMMER, WHEN YOU GET JAMMED UP, RING IT OFF THE GLASS.

CAN I MAKE A QUICK NOTE?

LATER, EARL. JUST KEEP DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING. PLAY IT SAFE. IF IT GETS TOO HECTIC OUT THERE COVER IT UP.

BILLY, TRY TO FIND SOME OPEN ICE. I KNOW THERE ISN’T A LOT OF ROOM OUT THERE, BUT TRY AND BREAK FREE.

GO, DON’T STOP DIGGING!

GREAT SAVE!

CLOSE IN CHANCE!

OKAY, GET THE SHOT!

SHOT FROM THE POINT!

ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY, QUICK SHOT TURNED AWAY!

ONE LAST PERIOD GUYS. NOW IT’S BEEN EQUAL CHANCES WHICH MEANS ONE SHOT CAN DETERMINE THE WINNER. DON’T TAKE ANY UNNECESSARY RISKS WITH THE PUCK.

CAN I MAKE AN OBSERVATION.

LATER, EARL, AFTER THE GAME.

IT’LL BE TOO LATE THEN, DAMMIT!

EVERY FOURTH LINE CHANGE, THEIR D-MAN IS LEAVING EARLY FOR SHIFT CHANGES.

THAT MEANS THERE’S AN OPEN SPACE TO MAKE A QUICK RED LINE TO RED LINE PASS.

THEIR D-MAN IS LEAVING EARLY BECAUSE THEY’RE SLOW TO GET OFF.

THAT MEANS WE CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT LATE IN THE GAME IF WE NEED IT.

IS THAT TRUE? BILLY HAVE YOU SEEN IT?

I’VE BEEN CONCENTRATING ON NOT GETTING MY HEAD TAKEN OFF!

SUMMER?

HE MAY, AS MUCH AS IT PAINS ME TO SAY THIS, BE RIGHT.

OKAY THEN, THIS IS HOW WE’LL PLAY THIS.

YOUR JOB IS THIS END, YOU HAVE THIS END.

WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

HOLY MOLY, WE’VE GOT A BARN BURNER, FRANK. HEY WHEN IT’S ZERO ZERO DO THEY GO INTO OVERTIME?

OH, THEY DO INDEED, REG.

AH WELL, THAT’S TIME AND A HALF FOR ME, WHICH ONLY INCREASES THE PAYCHEQUE I BRING HOME TO THE LITTLE WOMAN.

IF I WERE THE NETWORK I’D BE ASKING FOR MY MONEY BACK.

HA, HA, YOU’RE A FUNNY GUY, FRANK. I’VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU FOR THAT.

NO, I’M QUITE SERIOUS.

WELL, NEVER YOU MIND, YOU SILLY SAUL. IT’S A FACE OFF IN THE RENEGADES ZONE WITH TWENTY SECONDS TO PLAY.

EVERYBODY SETTLE DOWN, SETTLE DOWN! GREAT VICTORY GUYS, TEAM EFFORT ALL THE WAY THROUGH. AND UH, HERE’S YOUR SPOILS!

DUH, DUH, DUH, DUH!

NOW, SAYING THAT WE HAVE ANOTHER ANNOUNCEMENT. WHILE YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN OUT THERE PLAYING YOUR GUTS OUT, RAY AND RENE HAVE BEEN BUSY. SO, UH, WELL WHY DON’T YOU GUYS TELL THEM, IT’S YOUR STORY.

WELL YOU’VE CAUSED QUITE A STIR. NOT ONLY WAS THE GAME TELEVISED, BUT YOUR STORY’S BEEN RUNNING IN PAPERS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. AND RENE’S GOT A COUSIN INVOLVED IN THE CROSS-BORDER HOCKEY PROGRAM.

THAT’S RIGHT.

SO.

SO. THERE IS A SUPER U.S. TEAM PLAYING IN CANADA RIGHT NOW AND THEY WANT TO PLAY YOU AND SO I SAID…

MAIS OUI!!!

AND YOU GET TO WEAR THESE!

GO CANADA!

CAN YOU COMMENT ON YOUR STRATEGY AGAINST TEAM CANADA?

WELL WE’RE NOT GOING TO GIVE AWAY OUR STRATEGY.

I WILL SAY WE’RE LOOKING FORWARD TO THE GAME, THOUGH.

I MEAN, THEY’RE CALLING IT A FRIENDLY, UH, BUT I MEAN THESE ARE THE BEST PLAYERS I’VE EVER COACHED.

WE HAVEN’T LOST ALL SEASON AND I DON’T EXPECT TO LOSE NOW, SO.

LINE UP FOR WIND SPRINTS GUYS.

YOU KNOW I’VE GOT MY SKATES IN THE CAR, YOU THINK I COULD…

NOT A CHANCE.

HUSTLE, HUSTLE, HUSTLE. MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE. PICK IT UP GUYS, PICK IT UP. GO, LET’S GO…

WELL YOU BOYS AREN’T MUCH TO LOOK AT.

AND GIRL!

OH, I STAND CORRECTED, LITTLE LADY WE DON’T MIND KICKING YOUR BUTT TOO!

YOU HAVEN’T PLAYED US YET!

WELL WE’RE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. ISN’T THAT RIGHT GUYS?

USA, USA, USA!

YA, HI. THIS IS BILL DOMBROWSKI CALLING FOR COACH JOHNSTON. YES, BILL DOMBROWSKI.

NOT PHIL, BILL. NOT DUMBGROWSTEA, DOMBROWSKI!

D-O-M-B-R-O-W-S-K-I! DOMBROWSKI.

YES, NO, NOT JILL, BILL. WAIT, WAIT, I KNOW YOUR VOICE. THIS IS UH, COACH JOHNSTON, ISN’T IT?

LOOK, MEET ME TOMORROW AT THE OUTDOOR PRACTICE RINK, AND IF YOU DON’T SHOW I’LL KNOW WHY, MR. SKELETON.

BECAUSE YOU GOT NO GUTS! BURN.

YOU CALLED, HERE I AM.

YA, SO MY PLAYERS TELL ME YOU WERE A LITTLE RUDE TO THEM THIS WEEK.

CANADIANS, YOU JUST DON’T GET IT, DO YOU?

WHAT IS IT WE’RE SUPPOSED TO GET?

YOUR RIGHTFUL PLACE, BELOW THE FORTY-NINTH PARALLEL AND THUS, BELOW US.

YOU DO KNOW THAT CANADA IS ABOVE THE FORTY-NINTH PARALLEL, RIGHT. THIS IS USA, THEN CANADA.

WE SAY POTATO YOU SAY POMME DE TERRE. EITHER WAY WE ARE GOING TO DEMORALIZE YOU AND YOUR GROUP OF HICK KIDS. WE ARE GOING TO EMBARRASS YOUR WHOLE NATION.

OKAY, JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE BIGGER THAN US DOES NOT MAKE YOU BETTER THAN US IN ANY WAY. SO PROMISE ME NO ONE GETS HURT OUT THERE.

I MAKE NO SUCH PROMISES.

THEN, YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME.

THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT.

A LITTLE PROTECTION GUYS! WE’VE GOTTA BUILD A WALL TO KEEP THESE PEOPLE OUT. SIDE BET. YOU AND YOUR GROUP OF TROLLS LOSES, YOU GUYS CLEAN OUR TOUR BUS FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS.

WHAT IF WE WIN?

UH, I MEAN, WE ARE THAT CONFIDENT. YOU CAN NAME YOUR PRICE. IF YOU NEED US WE’RE GOING TO GO MAKE SURE THEY GET OUR NAMES RIGHT ON THE TROPHY.

WE’VE GOT A MAN HERE AND A MAN HERE, HERE AND HERE. WHEN THEY HAVE THE PUCK, TWO GUYS ON IT. SO, THIS GUY’S GOING TO COME OVER…

HOW HAS PRACTICE BEEN COACH AND HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE UPCOMING GAME?

WELL I’M SLEEPING WELL. WE’RE NOT WORRIED AT ALL, OUR GUYS HAVE BEEN FIRING ON ALL CYLINDERS.

QUITE FRANKLY WE DON’T EVEN SEE MUCH OF A GAME HERE. WE CAME UP FOR A LITTLE MAPLE SYRUP, SOME POUTINE, SOME PANCAKES, RIDE THE MOOSE, AND THEN HEAD BACK HOME TO A REAL COUNTRY.

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT, COACH.

SO STRATEGY, WHERE DO WE FIT IN, WHAT DO WE DO?

ALLRIGHT, SO I’VE BROKEN IT DOWN INTO THREE SIMPLE PARTS, SO THAT EACH OF US CAN UNDERSTAND CLEARLY.

HEY, I’VE JUST ABOUT HAD IT WITH THE PUT UPS.

PUT DOWNS.

PUT ME DOWN FOR SOME COFFEE AND GET ON WITH IT.

NOT BAD, RENE. NOT BAD.

ALRIGHT, SO I’M GOING TO HANDLE BOTH OFFENSE AND DEFENSE.

I KNOW THE INTRICACIES OF OUR TEAM AND HOW WE’RE GOING TO SHAPE UP AGAINST THE U.S.

NOW, RAY, I NEED YOU TO HANDLE OUR POWER PLAY AND OUR PENALTY KILL.

YOU KNOW OUR TOP SIX, SO, STAY WITH THEM ON THE BENCH. GAUGE HOW THEY’RE DOING AND MAKE SURE THEY’RE READY FOR A QUICK POWER PLAY, OR, IF WE’RE DOWN A MAN.

OKAY, RENE, I NEED YOU TO MANAGE OUR GAME CLOCK.

OKAY, I NEED YOU TO WATCH EACH SHIFT AND LET ME KNOW WHEN THEY COME DOWN TO A MINUTE EACH TIME.

OKAY, AND WE WANT SHORT, QUICK, ENERGY BURSTS FROM EACH UNIT THAT’S ON THE ICE. WE NEED TO KEEP OUR LEGS FRESH.

OKAY, TALK TO THE GUYS, STAY POSITIVE. THEY KNOW YOU. THEY TRUST YOU. GOT IT?

GOT IT.

RAY, YOU READY?

READY.
OKAY, LET’S GO OVER THEIR ATTACK PLAN.

LET’S GO.

HI DAD, IT’S ME.

YOUR SON, BILL.

YA, THAT SON. OKAY, LOOK, THE BIG GAME’S ON TONIGHT AND I KNOW YOU ARE IN TOWN VISITING FRIENDS, SO I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WANTED TO COME TO THE GAME TONIGHT.

YA, I KNOW YOUR LEG HURTS, DAD.

LOOK, IT WOULD REALLY MEAN A LOT TO BILLY AND KATE IF YOU COULD COME OUT TONIGHT.

YA, OKAY, DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT.

NO, NO, I’M SURE THERE’LL BE MORE CANADA-U.S. GAMES WHERE THE NATION’S PRIDE’S ON THE LINE. DON’T YOU WORRY ABOUT IT. YA, YA, YOU TAKE CARE.

WELL HERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS. EAST VERSUS WEST, NORTH VERSUS SOUTH, UP VERSUS DOWN…

STUPIDITY VERSUS LUCIDITY.

YOU KNOW WHAT FRANK, IF I DIDN’T KNOW ANY BETTER I WOULD SAY THAT’S A LITTLE BIT OF A SLIGHT THERE.

AND SEEING AS I HOLD AND DETERMINE YOUR NEXT CONTRACT, I’M GOING TO SKATE ON BY THAT ONE.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN HAVE I TOLD YOU WHAT A PLEASURE IT IS WORKING WITH SUCH A LIVING LEGEND!

I AM AREN’T I?

OKAY, WE’VE DONE OUR HOMEWORK. WE’RE PREPARED.

NOW WE KNOW THAT THEY’RE BIG BODIES, BUT WE’VE STUDIED THE FOOTAGE.

THEY MOVE THE PUCK INTO THE ZONE, THEY CYCLE IT DOWN LOW.

THEY PROTECT THE PUCK AND GET IT OUT TO THE POINT FOR A SLAPSHOT.

NOW, SUMMER, USE YOUR STICK, CLEAR THOSE GUYS OUT OF THE SLOT.

EARL, STAY LOW, COVER THE BOTTOM HALF OF THE NET.

OKAY, THEY’RE GONNA TRY AND SCREEN YOU OUT ON EVERY SHOT.

BILLY, SON, KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.

OKAY, ONE, TWO, THREE, GO HOCKEY PLAYERS!

WE GOT THIS.

WELL BACK TO THE TASK AT HAND, FOLKS AS THE TWO TEAMS SQUARE OFF AT CENTER ICE.

YES, IT’S GOING TO BE A HECK OF A GAME.

COACH SAYS WE’RE GOING TO PUT YOU TO SLEEP.

IF YOU CAN CATCH ME.

COVER THAT GUY, COVER THAT GUY!

TIME OUT, REF, TIME OUT!

THIS KID IS A ONE MAN SHOW. THE FIRST CHANCE YOU GUYS GET, PUT SOME MUSCLE ON HIM. TAKE THIS GUY OUT!

THAT WAS A BONE CRUNCHING HIT ON DOMBROWSKI!

YOU ALRIGHT? THAT’S A GOON PLAY, REF! YOU TAKE CONTROL OF THIS GAME RIGHT NOW! OPEN YOUR EYES!

BILLY, ONE WORD FROM YOU AND I’LL TAKE OUR GUYS RIGHT OUT OF THIS GAME.

I HAVE A BETTER IDEA ON HOW TO GET EVEN.

DOMBROWSKI WITH THE PUCK…SAY GOODNIGHT THAT HAS GOT TO SMART!

I HAVE TO ADMIT, I’M THE NERVOUS ONE HERE. IT’S A GOOD THING WE HAVE A SEVEN SECOND DELAY.

YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING NOW I HAVE COACHING SKILLS, NOW.

NAME ONE.

UMMM, I CAN OPEN DOORS VERY SMOOTHLY.

HA, HA, HA, I’LL GIVE YOU ONE MORE CHANCE. WHAT ABOUT THAT STRATEGY TO GET COACH JOHNSTON OUT OF THE GAME?

WHAT YOU DON’T THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?

I’LL GIVE YOU THAT ONE.

THAT WAS A GOOD ONE, I KNOW. C’MON GIVE ME A TOUGH ONE.

OKAY, LET’S TALK STRATEGY THEN.

OKAY. THE U.S. IS CYCLING, BUT OUR HIGH MAN IS POSITIONED LOW. WE’RE CLOGGING THE NEUTRAL ZONE, AND UH, THAT TRAP IS ALLOWING US TO POSITION OURSELVES INTO THE OFFENSIVE ZONE WITH THE DROP PASSES TO THE TRAILER.

IT APPEARS THE ARENA AND HELL HAVE FROZEN OVER.

YOU HAVE BEEN HOCKEY SCHOOLED!

ALLRIGHT, SOLID PERIOD GUYS. VERY GOOD JOB, VERY GOOD JOB. BILLY, NICE JOB WITH THAT ERRANT SHOT. NOW, I DON’T WANT TO SAY HE DESERVED IT, BUT UH, HE DESERVED IT.

LET’S SEE HOW HE LIKES NAP TIME.

AWESOME. SO, YOU GUYS KNOW HOW THEY’RE GOING TO PLAY YOU THIS PERIOD RIGHT?

THEY’RE GOING TO CYCLE IT LIKE CRAZY. JUST LET THEM DO IT, THEY’LL TIRE THEMSELVES OUT.

BUT, IF YOU KEEP YOUR MAN TO THE OUTSIDE, THEY’LL HAVE NO QUALITY CHANCES.

NO QUALITY CHANCES! YA!!!

WHAT A GAME AND WHAT AN HISTORICAL EVENT! NOW IT LOOKS LIKE COACH JOHNSTON HAS MADE HIS WAY BACK TO THE BENCH, AFTER SOME REPAIRS.

THERE’S THE MOON UP THERE. OH, I DON’T FEEL WELL. HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP? THREE? OH, WRONG, ANSWER.

ALLRIGHT GUYS, WE’RE UH…WHERE ARE WE? ACTUALLY, I DON’T…THAT’S NOT A UMMM.

MY GPS SAID WE SHOULD TURN RIGHT IN TWO HUNDRED METERS. UH, SO, UH WE’RE GONNA KEEP, UH, TO THE RIGHT AND THEN UMMM…WHEN DID I BECOME A SAMURAI? THAT’S CRAZY…I DON’T EVEN KNOW KARATE...

AHHH, THANK GOODNESS THAT PERIOD ENDED. I HAVE TO GO TO THE LITTLE BOYS ROOM SOMETHING AWFUL.

OHH, I GUESS THAT MEANS WE’RE GOING TO TAKE A BREAK. MAYBE NOT A QUICK ONE.

NO, IT IS NUMBER ONE.

OH!

ALLRIGHT, LET’S GO.

WELL THE THIRD PERIOD FOLKS AND I THINK IT’S SAFE TO SAY YOU CAN EXPECT JUST ABOUT ANYTHING, HUH.

NO KIDDING, REG. AND SPEAKING OF SURPRISES IT LOOKS LIKE TEAM USA’S COACH JOHNSTON HAS POSITIONED HIMSELF IN THE STANDS.

INTERESTING.
OOOH.

IT’S THE BOTTOM OF THE NINTH AND THERE’S NOBODY, BASES LOADED WITH TWO OUTS AND WHY AM I CARRYING THIS SUITCASE?

THIS IS CRAZY, UH, THINGS ARE LOOKING PRETTY GOOD FOR OLD, HEY, UH? I GUESS, YOU CAN’T QUIT, I FIRE ME! I’M GONNA GO…

THIS IS IT, DOWN TO THE FINAL SECONDS, WITH BOTH TEAMS UNABLE TO SCORE.

REFRESH MY MEMORY, FRANK. HOW DOES THIS WHOLE CRAZY BUSINESS WORK?

YES, LET ME EXPLAIN SO YOU DON’T CONFUSE ANYONE. BEFORE THE GAME BOTH TEAMS DECIDED IN THE EVENT OF A TIE THAT THERE WOULD NOT BE AN OVERTIME, THEY WOULD GO STRAIGHT TO A SHOOTOUT.

MANO A MANO IF I’M NOT MISTAKEN.

MOST OF THE TIME YOU ARE, BUT THIS TIME YOU ARE RIGHT. BOTH TEAMS WILL PICK A SHOOTER. FIRST TEAM TO SCORE, WINS!

WELL, THAT IS RISKY. NOT UNLIKE THE STOCKS I JUST BOUGHT ON ELECTRIC CARS. WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO THINK OF NEXT?

HA, HA, HA, WELL THEY’RE GOING TO THINK OF STRATEGY, REG. WELL IT LOOKS LIKE THE TEAMS ARE PREPARING THEIR PLAYERS.

INTERNATIONAL GOLDEN GOAL RULES APPLY GENTLEMEN.

EACH TEAM WILL HAVE ONE SHOOTER. ONE TEAM SCORES AND THE OTHER DOES NOT, THE GAME IS OVER AND WE HAVE A WINNER.

IF NO GOALS ARE SCORED, WE GO TO A SECOND SKATER. YOU HAVE THIRTY SECONDS TO DECIDE YOUR SHOOTERS.

I’M GOING TO SHOOT.

NO, I’M GOING TO SHOOT.

NO, I’M TAKING THE SHOT. THIS GOALIE IS A LAME DUCK ANYWAY. HE’S BEEN FAKING HIS WAY THROUGH THIS ENTIRE GAME. HIS FIVE HOLE IS BEGGING ME TO SHOOT THE PUCK THERE. START POLISHING THE TROPHY.

EARL, YOU’VE DONE A WONDERFUL JOB. YOU’VE BEEN OUR BEST PLAYER. NOW WE JUST NEED YOU TO STOP ONE MORE. YOU CAN DO IT RIGHT?

THEORETICALLY, IT IS DOABLE, BUT WITH MY STATISTICS, I AIN’T SO SURE.

FOCUS, FOCUS. LIKE I SAID, YOU’VE BEEN OUR BEST PLAYER.

OKAY, SO WATCH YOUR FIVE HOLE, CAUSE THAT’S WHERE THEY ARE GOING TO PUT IT.

GOT IT, COACH.

BILLY, YOU’RE UP FIRST. THEN WE’LL GO WITH YOU, SUMMER. LET’S GO!

HERE WE GO, AS THE FIRST SKATER FOR TEAM USA GETS READY.

WHAT A SAVE! NO GOAL.

AND NOW UP NEXT FOR CANADA, BILLY DOMBROWSKI!

AND ALL THAT’S LEFT IS TO BRING OUT THE WINNING TROPHY AND WE CAN CALL IT A NIGHT. AND FOR MYSELF…

AND FRANK SAILS…

WE BID YOU ADIEU! HA, HA, HA, NICE JOB!

YA, UH…

AHHH…

MY NEW CONTRACT EVERYBODY! THANK GOODNESS!

GOOD NIGHT FOLKS.

HEY, GUYS, LISTEN UP.

I THINK I SPEAK FOR MYSELF AND THE COACHING STAFF WHEN I SAY WHAT AN HONOUR AND PRIVILEGE IS HAS BEEN COACHING YOU GUYS THIS YEAR.

NOW, I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT, AND I’M SURE WE WON’T AGAIN.

ENJOY THIS, REMEMBER THIS, BECAUSE I GUARANTEE YOU NO MATTER WHAT LIFE THROWS AT YOU, OR WHATEVER PATH YOU CHOOSE, YOU WILL NEVER, EVER FORGET THIS MOMENT RIGHT HERE.

AND I’M PROUD OF YOU.

OH, AND UH, PRACTICE NEXT WEEK, UH, DOUBLE TIME SO IT DOESN’T GO TO YOUR HEADS.

I’M SURE GLAD YOU DECIDED THAT PLAYING WITH US STINKY BOYS WAS A GOOD THING.

HEY, DON’T GET A SWELLED HEAD, YOU’RE STILL STINKY.

BUT YA, I’M GLAD I STAYED, THAT’S WHAT BUDDIES ARE FOR.

WHAT A GAME, SUMMER! YOU READY TO GO?

HI, MUM. YUP, READY. HEY, EARL, I GUESS YOU CAN BE RIGHT, SOMETIMES. SEE YA, BOYS.

I HAVE TO ADMIT, EVEN WITH MY CONFIDENCE I WASN’T SO SURE I WAS GOING TO MAKE THAT SAVE.

I KNEW YOU’D DO IT.

HOW? HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT?

LIKE MY DAD SAID, YOU’RE OUR BEST PLAYER.

STOP KIDDING WITH ME.

I’M BEING STRAIGHT WITH YOU. BUT, BEING GOOD MEANS YOU CAN ALWAYS GET BETTER.

NEXT WEEK I’M TRYING NEW MOVES ON YOU.

I’M ACTUALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT.

SEE YOU, BUD.

SEE YOU.

I’M SO PROUD OF YOU, BILLY.

USUALLY IT’S THE PARENTS, WHO GIVE THE GUIDANCE, BUT I SWEAR TO YOU, YOU’VE TAUGHT ME A LIFE LESSON HERE, BILLY.

WE’RE JUST THE HAPPIEST PARENTS IN THE WORLD.

I THINK YOU WERE LOOKING FOR THIS, DAD. AND BY THE WAY, I’M A LUCKY KID.

LET’S GO.

I’LL JUST GET BILLY AND HIS STUFF AND GO TO THE TRUCK. I THINK THERE’S SOMEONE HERE WHO WANTS TO SEE YOU.

HEY, WHERE’S THAT GRANDSON OF MINE? HELLUVA GAME!

YA, NICE TO SEE YOU TO, DAD.

WHAT? YOU CALLED, I’M HERE.

WHAT’S WITH THE FACE? IT’S THE SAME LOOK YOU USED TO HAVE WHEN I TIED YOUR SKATES TOO TIGHT.

FIRST OF ALL, THAT WAS MOM WHO MOST LIKELY TIED MY SKATES AND SECOND, I’M A LITTLE PUT OUT YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE COMING.

SON, YOU WOULDN’T HAVE BELIEVED ME IF I DID TELL YOU. BUT I’M HERE AREN’T I?

SO, WHAT DID YOU THINK?

I THINK THAT SON OF YOURS IS NO SLOUCH. PLAYS A LOT LIKE HIS GRANDPA. EVEN TAPES HIS STICK THE SAME WAY.

YA, I TAUGHT HIM THAT.

YA, AND I TAUGHT YOU.

THAT WAS MOM AND UNCLE TEDDY.

WHAT DID YOU, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE COACHING?

I DIDN’T REALLY NOTICE.

IF I HAD A PLUG NICKEL FOR EVERY TIME YOU DIDN’T NOTICE SOMETHING THAT I DID.

THERE YOU GO, GETTING RED IN THE FACE AGAIN, AND IT’S ME THAT’S GOT THE BUM TICKER.

WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?

NOTHING, NOTHING! WHAT I MEANT WAS YOU’RE DOING A GOOD JOB IF I DIDN’T NOTICE IT. YOU’RE LETTING THEM PLAY HOCKEY. THEY’RE HAVING FUN.

WOW, IF I HAD MY HANDS ON A SPORTS PYSCHOLOGIST RIGHT NOW, HE’D HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH WHAT’S COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.

SON, YOU NEED A COFFEE CUP FULL OF SUGAR. C’MON, LET ME BUY YOU ONE. YOU GET THAT WIFE AND YOUR SON, MAYBE THEY CAN LIGHTEN UP THIS MOOD.

FINE. I’M BUYING.

NOW THAT’S THE FIRST SENSIBLE THING YOU’VE SAID ALL DAY.

YA.

COME IN.

AH, TAIL BETWEEN YOUR LEGS I SEE.

CAN YOU MAKE THIS QUICK, WE’VE GOT A LOT OF CLEANING LEFT TO DO. SHOWERS, JOCKSTRAPS, LOCKERS, NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER.

YA, IT’S A MESSY SITUATION, AND THAT’S WHY YOU HAVE IT.

GET TO THE POINT. WE’VE GOT A BUS TO CATCH BACK TO A REAL COUNTRY WITH A LOT OF MAPLE SYRUP TO DECLARE.

STICKY SITUATION, UMM, REMEMBER OUR BET FROM LAST WEEK?

I WAKE UP EVERY NIGHT SCREAMING THINKING ABOUT IT.

OKAY, UMMM, I’M CALLING IT IN.

YOU CAN’T. WE’RE DOING BET RECOUNTS. UTAH, WEST VIRGINIA, RHODE ISLAND.

THOSE AREN’T EVEN REAL STATES. YOU MUST HAVE MADE THOSE UP.

THERE’S SOME TRUTH TO THAT.

OKAY, SO, AS MUCH AS IT PAINS ME TO ADMIT THIS…YOU HAVE AN INTERESTING TEAM AND YOU’RE NOT, UH, YOU’RE NOT THAT BAD OF A COACH.

I THINK THERE’S A COMPLIMENT SOMEWHERE IN THERE.

OKAY, DON’T GET YOUR SKATE LACES IN A KNOT. I HAVE A PROPOSITION FOR YOU, BUT FIRST I NEED YOU TO WATCH THIS.

WHOOO, AIR’S A LITTLE THIN UP HERE.

SO YOU’VE HEARD THAT TEAM CANADA JUST TOOK ON THE TOP U.S. TOURING TEAM AND GAVE THEM THEIR FIRST DEFEAT.

THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PLAY WEAK OPPONENTS.

THAT’S WHAT THE AMERICANS SAID.

WELL WE HAVE A SAYING IN SWEDEN. EVERYONE KNOWS THE MONKEY, BUT THE MONKEY KNOWS NO ONE.

MEANING?

TEAM CANADA WILL FIND OUT IF THEY DECIDE TO PLAY US.

I THINK WE’D LIKE TO KNOW NOW. IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THAT COULD UNRAVEL A MYSTERY.

WELL, I THINK YOU’RE THE MYSTERY, MISTER STEP LADDER INTERVIEWER. UMM, ONE LAST SAYING FOR CANADA, DEATH WILL COME.

STINKS, DOESN’T IT?

I DON’T LIKE THAT ONE BIT. WHAT IS SWEDEN, A CITY? COUNTRY?

IT’S A COUNTRY ACTUALLY AND THEY THINK THEY’RE NUMBER ONE.

NUMBER ONE? USA, U…UH, SORRY BIT OF A REFLEX THERE.

SO, DO YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?

MY REFLEX?

WHAT? NO, NOT YOUR REFLEX. I CAN’T HELP YOU WITH THAT. YOU OWE ME. SO, HERE'S WHAT I PROPOSE. WE JOIN FORCES. CALL IT UH, A TEAM NORTH AMERICA VERSUS TEAM SWEDEN.

I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT, STILL HAS AMERICA IN THE TITLE. WHERE DO I SIGN?

ALL RIGHT, I’LL GET MY HOCKEY ASSOCIATION TO DRAFT SOMETHING UP, PRESENT IT TO TEAM SWEDEN. WE GO FROM THERE.

NORTH AMERICAN FREE TRADE HOCKEY AGREEMENT. NAFTHA.

SURE. I’LL GET OUR HOCKEY ASSOCIATION TO SEND IT TO YOUR HEAD OFFICE, BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING STUPID, LIKE RIP IT UP. NOW YOU’VE GOT SOME CLEANING TO DO, SO WE’RE DONE.

FINE. GOOD LUCK TRYING TO FIND MAPLE SYRUP TO PUT ON YOUR PANCAKES, WE’RE TAKING IT ALL HOME.

YOU DO KNOW THAT WE, UH, HAVE TREES THAT PRODUCE THAT STUFF DAILY, RIGHT?

DID NOT KNOW THAT.

NO, I DIDN’T THINK YOU DID. OKAY, WE’RE DONE.

HEY FRENCHIE!

THIS IS NOT THE FACE I LIKE TO SEE IN THE OFFICE, HE’S THE ENEMY!

OKAY, NOT ANYMORE. THANKS FOR COMING.

I BROUGHT YOU IN TODAY SO WE COULD TALK ABOUT THE TOUGH YEAR WE HAVE AHEAD.

POURQUOI? WHY?

BECAUSE THE HARDEST THING TO DO IN SPORT IS TO REPEAT.

REPEAT?

YA, LIKE, UH, WIN AGAIN, DO OVER, DÉJÀ VU?

WE HAVE A NEW CHALLENGE COMING?

YA, CHALLENGE, CHALLENGER, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT.

I DON’T NEED THE WHOLE STORY. I AM AS THEY SAY, WITH THE HOCKEY PROGRAM.

I KNOW YOU ARE, AND I APPRECIATE THAT. BUT, WE’RE GOING TO HAVE TO LIFT A HEAVY HOCKEY BAG AROUND THIS YEAR. YOU, ME, RAY, ESPECIALLY BILLY AND THE REST OF THE TEAM.

YES, YES, ALL THOSE THINGS. BUT, WHERE IS RAY?

HE’S DOING THE FINAL CHECKS ON THE RINK, SO, WE SHOULD LEAVE THE LAST FEW WORDS TO HIM.

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS AND THE FRIENDS THAT YOU HAVE THAT MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

IT’S ALL THE MISSHAPED PIECES FITTING TOGETHER INTO A TEAM.

FRIENDSHIP MAKES US WINNERS.

BILLY, SURE SHOT, HE WAS ALWAYS A GREAT FRIEND FIRST AND A GREAT HOCKEY PLAYER SECOND.

FROM THE EARLY YEARS, RIGHT ON THROUGH!

THAT MEANS YOU GET TO WEAR THESE!

I’M WEARING BROWN SOCKS. THAT’S WEIRD. I SHOULDN’T BE WEARING BROWN SOCKS WITH DRESS SHOES I DON’T THINK.

I CANNOT HAVE FIFTEEN, SORRY, FIFTEEN SWEATY HOCKEY PLAYERS AT ONCE. AND I MESSED UP…THAT’S OK.

I’M GLAD I STAYED, THAT’S WHAT BESTIES ARE FOR?

I THINK I MESSED UP ON MY LINE. IT’S GOOD THOUGH.

AM I A SENSAI? I THINK I’M A SENSAI. HOW ABOUT THAT? CUT!

BUT I’M, SWEAR TO GOD, YOU GIVE ME UH…THAT’S MY BAD. I SWEAR TO GOD THAT WAS TERRIBLE.

UH, UH…MY DOG ATE MY TEXTBOOK.

DETENTION. CUT…GOOD ONE. HE JUST WALKS OFF.

I THINK WE JUST NEED TO LET HIM KNOW THAT WE HAVE HIS BACK.

HE SHOULD KNOW THAT. WE’RE A TEAM, WE STAND TOGETHER, EVEN IF ONE OF US CAN’T EVEN STAND IN HIS OWN NET. GOOD! OHHH! MOVIN’ ON.

LET’S GO OVER THEIR ATTACK PLAN! WHOO! TWO TAKES!

RAY, ARE YOU IN HERE?

NO, IT’S ME, RON A SERIAL KILLER!

YOU KNOW THAT WE’RE ACTUALLY ABOVE THE FORTY-NINTH PARALLEL. I MEAN THAT’S SEMANTICS, POTATO, POTATO DAMMIT! OHHHHH!

HAVE YOU NOTICED ANYTHING STRANGE GOING ON WITH EARL?

YOU MEAN THE SUUH, YOU MEAN THE SIDE OF THE? I KNEW THROWING YOU THAT WOULD SCREW YOU UP. I LOVE YOU JULIA, YOU’RE AWESOME!

NOT, DUMBGROUSETEA, DOMBROWSKI.

D-O-M-B-R-O-W-S-K-I.

YA, NO, NOT JILL, PHIL. CUT…YA.

AND…ACTION!

SORRY.

THIS IS NOT THE FACE I LIKE TO…

THIS IS NOT THE FACE I LIKE TO SEE IN THIS OFFICE…

THIS IS NOT THE FACE I LIKE TO SEE…ALLRIGHT…TAKE YOUR TIME.

YOU’RE ANGRY, YOU’RE ANGRY AT ME. LET’S GO.

I DON’T LIKE THIS GUY.

AIR’S A LITTLE THIN UP HERE. WHOOO, SO YOU HEARD TEAM CANADA JUST TOOK ON THE TOP U.S. TOURING TEAM AND GAVE THEM THEIR FIRST DEFEAT.

THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PLAY WEAKER TEAMS.

THAT’S WHAT THE AMERICANS SAID.

WELL WE HAVE A SAYING IN SWEDEN. EVERYONE KNOWS THE MONKEY, BUT THE MONKEY KNOWS NO ONE.

I DIDN’T REALIZE SWEDEN HAS MONKEYS.

WELL YOU KNOW, IT’S NOT A VERY TROPICAL CLIMATE BUT WE TRY TO HAVE A LITTLE MORE…

I THOUGHT WE WERE HAVING FUN?

DOWN…ROLLING? JOE? JOEE, YOU ALIVE? YOU GOT SPEED?

THAT WAS FOR A WIN. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT EARL?

HE KEEPS HIS MOUTH SHUT, WE’LL LET HIM BE. THAT WAS TOTALLY NOT MY LINE. CUT!

DID YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON.

DID YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?

OH, SORRY.

DID YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON. TRY IT AGAIN. RELAX, READY?

DID YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON.

THAT’S GOOD. STOP TWITCHING YOUR EYE. I’M NOT GOING TO USE THAT. I DON’T KNOW WHY IT DOES THAT? MY EYE IS WEIRD. CAN YOU DO A PUNCH IN? BLACK