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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,833 --> 00:00:14,433 Announcer: TOSH.O FEATURES 2 00:00:14,433 --> 00:00:17,003 VIDEOS FROM THE INTERNET AND IS 3 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:20,630 FOR A MATURE AUDIENCE. 4 00:00:20,633 --> 00:00:21,603 ENJOY. 5 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:28,370 >> THREE, TWO, ONE. 6 00:00:28,367 --> 00:00:29,867 >> I'M FINE. 7 00:00:29,867 --> 00:00:31,127 >> I'M OKAY. 8 00:00:31,133 --> 00:00:32,033 I'M OKAY. 9 00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:33,703 I'M OKAY! 10 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:37,600 I'M OKAY. 11 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:38,670 >> I'M OKAY. 12 00:00:38,667 --> 00:00:41,527 >> YOU ARE NOT. 13 00:00:41,533 --> 00:00:44,533 >> ANDREW. 14 00:00:44,533 --> 00:00:46,173 (LOTS OF NOISE ) 15 00:00:46,167 --> 00:00:53,597 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 16 00:00:53,600 --> 00:01:00,500 * 17 00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:03,330 >> WELCOME TO TOSH.O FROM 18 00:01:03,333 --> 00:01:05,503 ARIZONA STATE UNIVERSITY. 19 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,170 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 20 00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:12,127 >> SAVOR THIS MOMENT BECAUSE WE 21 00:01:12,133 --> 00:01:13,533 ARE NEVER DOING ANYTHING LIKE 22 00:01:13,533 --> 00:01:14,373 THIS AGAIN. 23 00:01:14,367 --> 00:01:16,127 IN HONOR OF THE NEW SCHOOL YEAR, 24 00:01:16,133 --> 00:01:19,103 AS YOU CAN SEE THE WARDROBE WILL 25 00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:21,630 BE COLLEGIATE APPAREL. 26 00:01:21,633 --> 00:01:24,903 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 27 00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:27,470 >> ONLY NINE EPISODES LEFT THIS 28 00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:28,867 SEASON HOPE YOUR SCHOOL MAKES 29 00:01:28,867 --> 00:01:29,597 THE CUT. 30 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,670 IF IT DOESN'T, YOU SHOULD 31 00:01:32,667 --> 00:01:33,127 TRANSFER. 32 00:01:33,133 --> 00:01:35,873 TONIGHT ON THE SHOW THE WORLD 33 00:01:35,867 --> 00:01:39,067 ILLEST RAPPER GETS WEB 34 00:01:39,067 --> 00:01:39,427 REDEMPTION. 35 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,403 I CRAM FOUR YEARS OF COLLEGE 36 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:42,670 INTO ONE DAY. 37 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:45,727 AND I ARRANGE A GOOD OLD TWEET & 38 00:01:45,733 --> 00:01:46,173 GREET. 39 00:01:46,167 --> 00:01:51,167 NOW BACK TO THE ONLY GUITAR SOLO 40 00:01:51,167 --> 00:01:52,767 I HAVE EVER ENJOYED. 41 00:01:52,767 --> 00:01:53,867 >> I'M OKAY. 42 00:01:53,867 --> 00:01:55,067 >> I'M OKAY. 43 00:01:55,067 --> 00:01:56,967 >> I DON'T THINK HE'S OKAY. 44 00:01:56,967 --> 00:01:59,667 NOT AS MESSY AS KURT COBAIN DID 45 00:01:59,667 --> 00:02:00,167 IT. 46 00:02:00,167 --> 00:02:01,767 YOU FAMILIAR WITH HIM? 47 00:02:01,767 --> 00:02:04,267 YOUR PARENTS [BEEP] TO HIS 48 00:02:04,267 --> 00:02:05,397 MUSIC. 49 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:06,870 WANT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN 50 00:02:06,867 --> 00:02:09,297 YOU FEED YOUR BABY MEXICAN 51 00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:11,300 GERBER. 52 00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:12,300 >> A SQUIRTER. 53 00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:15,300 YOU FIND A SQUIRTER IN COLLEGE 54 00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:19,070 YOU MARRY HER, FELLAS. 55 00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:22,227 ALRIGHT SLAP SOME BANANA BOAT ON 56 00:02:22,233 --> 00:02:23,473 THAT RED BABY. 57 00:02:23,467 --> 00:02:25,797 I THINK SHE HAS SUN POISONING. 58 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,530 SPEAKING OF SUN BURN. 59 00:02:27,533 --> 00:02:29,833 WHAT I DID HERE YESTERDAY ON 60 00:02:29,833 --> 00:02:32,503 CAMPUS MAYBE OR MAY NOT BE A 61 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,330 HATE CRIME DEPENDING ON HOW YOU 62 00:02:34,333 --> 00:02:36,673 FEEL ABOUT RED HEADS. 63 00:02:36,667 --> 00:02:39,527 >> BURN GINGER BURN. 64 00:02:39,533 --> 00:02:41,133 BURN GINGERS BURN. 65 00:02:41,133 --> 00:02:43,203 >> DID YOU KNOW THAT SANTA 66 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:48,170 SUMMERS IN PHOENIX? 67 00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:49,797 >> HE SEEMS TO BE CHECKING THAT 68 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,400 THING MORE THAN TWICE. 69 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:52,130 [LAUGHING] 70 00:02:52,133 --> 00:02:53,973 >> LET'S PUT 20 SECONDS ON THE 71 00:02:53,967 --> 00:02:56,797 CLOCK AND SEE HOW MANY FUNNY 72 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:57,630 COMMENTS WE CAN MAKE. 73 00:02:57,633 --> 00:02:59,533 IF YOU PAN OVER YOU CAN SEE THE 74 00:02:59,533 --> 00:03:02,973 EASTER BUNNY GIVING THE TOOTH 75 00:03:02,967 --> 00:03:04,697 FAIRY A [BEEP] JOB. 76 00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:06,800 SO WE DON'T GET SUED THAT'S NOT 77 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,230 THE REAL SANTA. 78 00:03:08,233 --> 00:03:09,203 IT'S TIM ALLEN. 79 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,100 I HATE WHEN I'M AT THE BEACH AND 80 00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:12,930 THERE IS NO PLACE TO SIT. 81 00:03:12,933 --> 00:03:13,373 [LAUGHING] 82 00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:13,697 >> STOP. 83 00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:15,330 THERE OKAY, OKAY. 84 00:03:15,333 --> 00:03:17,533 HE'S PROBABLY ASKING SANTA FOR A 85 00:03:17,533 --> 00:03:18,173 BIGGER [BEEP]. 86 00:03:18,167 --> 00:03:20,127 THAT'S WHY SO MANY KIDS CRY WHEN 87 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:23,073 THEY SIT ON SANTA LEASE LAP. 88 00:03:23,067 --> 00:03:26,567 YA, HE HAS A HUGE BONER. 89 00:03:26,567 --> 00:03:29,067 IT'S TIME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO 90 00:03:29,067 --> 00:03:31,667 YOUR NEW MASCOT ASU. 91 00:03:31,667 --> 00:03:33,897 THAT'S A HUMAN TAIL. 92 00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:37,230 FOR ME PERSONALLY THAT'S A DEAL 93 00:03:37,233 --> 00:03:37,833 BREAKER. 94 00:03:37,833 --> 00:03:39,803 AH, HE JUST WANTS A TREAT. 95 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,870 WHO DOESN'T WANT TO BE FINGERED 96 00:03:41,867 --> 00:03:44,467 DURING A PIGGYBACK RIDE. 97 00:03:44,467 --> 00:03:46,397 ALRIGHT MOAN ALL YOU WANT THAT 98 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,330 LOOKS WAY WORST IN PERSON. 99 00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:51,673 YOU MOVING ON PURPOSE OR IS IT 100 00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:52,127 TWITCHING? 101 00:03:52,133 --> 00:03:53,203 >> I CAN MOVE IT. 102 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,270 [LAUGHING] 103 00:03:54,267 --> 00:04:00,897 >> HOLY COW. 104 00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:03,070 [LAUGHING] 105 00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:03,727 [BEEP] 106 00:04:03,733 --> 00:04:05,773 [BEEP] 107 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:08,127 >> AHHH! 108 00:04:08,133 --> 00:04:08,433 [BEEP] 109 00:04:08,433 --> 00:04:10,303 >> THAT'S WHAT COLLEGE IS FOR. 110 00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:11,300 [LAUGHING] 111 00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:13,470 >> GAY STUFF. 112 00:04:13,467 --> 00:04:15,897 I FINALLY FOUND OUT WHY IT TAKES 113 00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:20,170 GIRLS SO LONG TO GET READY. 114 00:04:20,167 --> 00:04:21,527 [LAUGHING] 115 00:04:21,533 --> 00:04:23,533 >> THAT'S EITHER HOW YOU GET A 116 00:04:23,533 --> 00:04:26,803 TAMPON TO STAY IN OR THE SECRET 117 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,330 HANDSHAKE AT DELTA GAMMA. 118 00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:31,073 [LAUGHING] 119 00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:33,827 >> WHAT IS NEXT? 120 00:04:33,833 --> 00:04:34,573 >> DO IT. 121 00:04:34,567 --> 00:04:36,227 >> HE DID IT. 122 00:04:36,233 --> 00:04:36,573 [BEEP] 123 00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:37,927 >> HE DID IT 124 00:04:37,933 --> 00:04:39,073 >> ALRIGHT. 125 00:04:39,067 --> 00:04:41,097 >> YOU'RE NOT DRINKING OUT OF A 126 00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:42,400 BONG YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. 127 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:44,730 LET'S RELAX OUR THROATS AND LET 128 00:04:44,733 --> 00:04:46,303 GRAVITY DO THE WORK IN THIS 129 00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,930 WEEK'S BREAKDOWN. 130 00:04:48,933 --> 00:04:49,703 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 131 00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:51,530 >> I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I 132 00:04:51,533 --> 00:04:53,403 APPRECIATE A FINISHED GARAGE. 133 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,500 THAT IS A HIGH QUALITY FUNNEL. 134 00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:57,070 ANYTIME YOU HAVE TO GO TO LOWS 135 00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:59,227 BEFORE YOU START DRINKING IT'S 136 00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:01,103 GOING TO BE AN AWESOME NIGHT. 137 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:03,830 LIKE AN ALCOHOLIC STATUE OF 138 00:05:03,833 --> 00:05:06,273 LIBERTY HE RAISES HIS ARM HIGH. 139 00:05:06,267 --> 00:05:08,827 LOOK AT THE SWEET LEATHER CUFF. 140 00:05:08,833 --> 00:05:11,733 YOU'RE NOT IN KINGS OF LEON YOU 141 00:05:11,733 --> 00:05:13,133 DUMPY SON OF A BITCH. 142 00:05:13,133 --> 00:05:15,073 NOT SO FAST. 143 00:05:15,067 --> 00:05:17,397 YOU CAN'T SAY HE DID IT UNTIL 144 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,200 THE SWALLOW IS COMPLETE. 145 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,200 THE SAME RULE APPLIES IN MY 146 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:22,400 HOTEL ROOM. 147 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,970 OH, NO, HE LET OUT A PREJACK 148 00:05:24,967 --> 00:05:25,397 THERE. 149 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,200 THIS IS TROUBLE. 150 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:28,930 >> OH! 151 00:05:28,933 --> 00:05:31,233 >> DID HE JUST VOMIT ON THE 152 00:05:31,233 --> 00:05:33,573 OFFICIAL REGULATION WORLD SERIES 153 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:35,627 OF BEER PONG TABLE? 154 00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:37,603 WELL AT LEAST IT WASN'T AN AIR 155 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,200 HOCKEY TABLE. 156 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,630 SWITCH IT ON IT'S THE BELLAGIO 157 00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:42,403 OF PUKE. 158 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,830 START UP THE CAR AND GET THE 159 00:05:44,833 --> 00:05:47,273 CARBON MONOXIDE FLOWING SO I CAN 160 00:05:47,267 --> 00:05:48,667 GET A REAL BUZZ. 161 00:05:48,667 --> 00:05:50,697 I THINK THIS GUY NEEDS TO WATCH 162 00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,530 HOW IT'S DONE FROM PEOPLE WITH 163 00:05:52,533 --> 00:05:53,873 STRONGER STOMACHS. 164 00:05:53,867 --> 00:05:57,727 [LAUGHING] 165 00:05:57,733 --> 00:05:59,903 >> HIS OWN THROW UP. 166 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:02,830 OH YA! 167 00:06:02,833 --> 00:06:03,903 >> OH -- 168 00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:06,370 >> WE'RE JUST GLAD P BEER BONGS 169 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,697 LEAD TO PUKING AND FOUR OUT OF 170 00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,330 FIVE ALCOHOL RELATED DEATH. 171 00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:11,833 FOR THAT WE THANK YOU. 172 00:06:11,833 --> 00:06:14,133 WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ELI'S 173 00:06:14,133 --> 00:06:15,703 WEB REDEMPTION. 174 00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:18,570 FIRST HERE IS ME MAKING HOT 175 00:06:18,567 --> 00:06:21,827 GIRLS EAT HOT THINGS IN THIS 176 00:06:21,833 --> 00:06:23,803 MISERABLE SKIN CANCER OVEN YOU 177 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:24,770 CALL A CAMPUS. 178 00:06:24,767 --> 00:06:27,627 >> ARE YOU READY FOR A BALL OF 179 00:06:27,633 --> 00:06:31,903 WASABI. 180 00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:33,130 (COUGHING ) 181 00:06:33,133 --> 00:06:39,073 >> SO PRETTY. 182 00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:39,827 >> THAT'S HOT. 183 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,303 >> DON'T BLOW ON IT. 184 00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:42,200 >> IT'S HOT. 185 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,430 >> YA, IT'S A BIT. 186 00:06:43,433 --> 00:06:44,503 >> HOT. 187 00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:48,870 >> REALLY BIG. 188 00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:50,867 >> I GOT ONE QUESTION, MAN. 189 00:06:50,867 --> 00:06:52,327 TELL ME WHO IS NEXT. 190 00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:54,103 [BEEP], [BEEP], [BEEP]. 191 00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:55,830 I'M GOING TO LET YOU KNOW WHO 192 00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,203 THE BEST BY THE HOUR. 193 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,830 JUST LIKE ROSIE O'DONNELL AT A 194 00:07:00,833 --> 00:07:01,573 BIBLE TOWER. 195 00:07:01,567 --> 00:07:04,497 SEE I'M THE BEST, MANG. 196 00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:07,100 I DID IT. 197 00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:09,670 >> I NEVER REALIZED BLINKING WAS 198 00:07:09,667 --> 00:07:11,727 SO IMPORTANT IN THE RAP GAME. 199 00:07:11,733 --> 00:07:13,933 THAT UP AND COMING ARTIST WAS 200 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:14,873 ELI PORTER. 201 00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:17,297 HE PROVED THAT BEING BLACK 202 00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:19,070 DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY MAKE YOU A 203 00:07:19,067 --> 00:07:21,467 GREAT RAPPER BUT ROLLING YOUR 204 00:07:21,467 --> 00:07:23,267 EYES IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD IS 205 00:07:23,267 --> 00:07:25,527 AS HAMAS IT GETS [BEEP]. 206 00:07:25,533 --> 00:07:27,573 IF YOU WANT TO RISE TO THE TOP 207 00:07:27,567 --> 00:07:28,867 YOU NEED TO BE SPECIAL. 208 00:07:28,867 --> 00:07:31,597 YOU CAN'T WALK ON STAGE AND BE A 209 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:32,230 SUPER STAR. 210 00:07:32,233 --> 00:07:34,433 I'M THE EXCEPTION. 211 00:07:34,433 --> 00:07:37,073 DON'T BLAME YOUR FAME ON HATERS. 212 00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:39,227 IF EVERYONE THINKS YOU SUCK, 213 00:07:39,233 --> 00:07:40,303 THEY'RE NOT HATERS. 214 00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:41,670 THEY'RE RIGHT. 215 00:07:41,667 --> 00:07:43,967 LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS YOU WILL 216 00:07:43,967 --> 00:07:45,097 BE MUCH HAPPIER. 217 00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:47,070 GO TO A STATE SCHOOL IN THE 218 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:50,067 DESSERT WITH A MEDIOCRE FOOTBALL 219 00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:56,367 PROGRAM AND ROOT FOR A 500 220 00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:56,727 SEASON. 221 00:07:56,733 --> 00:07:57,073 [BOOING] 222 00:07:57,067 --> 00:07:58,567 >> YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH. 223 00:07:58,567 --> 00:08:01,067 I WAS TALK ABOUT THE WILDCATS. 224 00:08:01,067 --> 00:08:04,667 EVERY RAPPER NEEDS A MENTOR. 225 00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:08,827 DIDDY HAD DRE AND NOW ELI HAS 226 00:08:08,833 --> 00:08:09,403 TOSH. 227 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,270 -- ONE MIC, ONE BEAT, ONE 228 00:08:12,267 --> 00:08:16,797 STAYING IN THIS WEEK'S WEB 229 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:17,200 REDEMPTION. 230 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,670 >> THANKS FOR MEETING UP HERE, 231 00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:20,067 ELI. 232 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,297 SEE THE PEOPLE. 233 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:22,400 >> WHAT PEOPLE? 234 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,570 >> FIGURATIVELY. 235 00:08:23,567 --> 00:08:24,167 >> OH. 236 00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:25,767 >> THEY'RE ABOUT TO WITNESS A 237 00:08:25,767 --> 00:08:29,497 NEW KING OF HIP HOT HERE AT ASU. 238 00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:31,270 HIS NAME IS ELI PORTER. 239 00:08:31,267 --> 00:08:35,427 >> THAT WOULD BE ME, YES IT IS. 240 00:08:35,433 --> 00:08:36,833 >> WHERE YOU FROM. 241 00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:38,533 >> ATLANTA. 242 00:08:38,533 --> 00:08:39,573 >> ATL. 243 00:08:39,567 --> 00:08:41,827 YOU THE FIRST WHITE PERSON YOU 244 00:08:41,833 --> 00:08:42,373 HAVE SEEN. 245 00:08:42,367 --> 00:08:42,867 >> NO. 246 00:08:42,867 --> 00:08:45,297 >> DID YOU WIN THE RAP BATTLE. 247 00:08:45,300 --> 00:08:46,670 >> I THINK I DID. 248 00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:47,927 >> WHAT WAS THAT FILM FOR. 249 00:08:47,933 --> 00:08:49,873 >> A HIGH SCHOOL THING WE DID 250 00:08:49,867 --> 00:08:50,927 FOR FUN. 251 00:08:50,933 --> 00:08:52,273 I WAS VERY UPSET. 252 00:08:52,267 --> 00:08:54,097 I DIDN'T KNOW WHO PUT IT OUT 253 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:54,500 THERE. 254 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,900 I THOUGHT THEY TRIED TO MAKE ME 255 00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:57,570 LOOK STUPID. 256 00:08:57,567 --> 00:08:59,667 WHEN I SAW HOW GOOD IT DID I 257 00:08:59,667 --> 00:09:02,397 SAID WHAT THE HECK I MIGHT AS 258 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,130 WELL TAKE IT AND RUN WITH IT. 259 00:09:04,133 --> 00:09:06,203 >> WHAT DID PEOPLE SAY ABOUT THE 260 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,570 VIDEO WHEN IT CAME OUT? 261 00:09:07,567 --> 00:09:09,697 >> A LOT OF THEM THOUGHT I WAS 262 00:09:09,700 --> 00:09:10,270 RETARDED. 263 00:09:10,267 --> 00:09:12,827 THEY SAID I FROZE UP. 264 00:09:12,833 --> 00:09:13,973 >> DID YOU FREEZE UP. 265 00:09:13,967 --> 00:09:16,497 >> NO, THEY STOPPED THE BEAT. 266 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:19,970 >> DO YOU HAVE A BEEF WITH ROSIE 267 00:09:19,967 --> 00:09:20,427 O'DONNELL. 268 00:09:20,433 --> 00:09:21,633 THAT BITCH WILL CUT YOU. 269 00:09:21,633 --> 00:09:24,373 >> NO I DON'T HAVE A BEEF WITH 270 00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:25,227 ROSIE OWE STKOPB HE WILL. 271 00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:28,503 >> HAVE YOU BEEN TO A BISEXUAL 272 00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:29,100 BRIDAL SHOWER? 273 00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:29,800 >> NO. 274 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,070 >> YOU HAVE HEARD OF ONE? 275 00:09:31,067 --> 00:09:34,767 >> NO MADE THAT UP OFF THE TOP 276 00:09:34,767 --> 00:09:35,627 OF MY HEAD. 277 00:09:35,633 --> 00:09:38,373 >> HOW ARE THE BITCHES TREATING 278 00:09:38,367 --> 00:09:38,697 YOU. 279 00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:40,070 >> SINCE I HAVE BEEN HERE I HAVE 280 00:09:40,067 --> 00:09:41,927 SEEN A COUPLE NICE FEMALES. 281 00:09:41,933 --> 00:09:43,833 >> ARIZONA IS ALRIGHT. 282 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,773 >> YES IT IS, YES IT IS. 283 00:09:45,767 --> 00:09:49,067 >> YOU HAVE AN ALBUM COMING OUT. 284 00:09:49,067 --> 00:09:51,367 >> TO BE RELEASED IN OCTOBER. 285 00:09:51,367 --> 00:09:53,697 IT'S CALLED INTELLIGENTLY 286 00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:54,070 RETARDED. 287 00:09:54,067 --> 00:09:56,197 I'M SO SMART IT'S STUPID. 288 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,070 >> TELL ME YOUR VISION FOR YOUR 289 00:09:58,067 --> 00:09:59,627 RAP CAREER. 290 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,333 >> MONEY TO THE POINT I CAN GET 291 00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:02,433 MY DAD A HOUSE. 292 00:10:02,433 --> 00:10:03,133 >> OKAY. 293 00:10:03,133 --> 00:10:05,103 >> SET UP A FOUNDATION FOR 294 00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:08,330 PEOPLE WHO GOT CANCER, AND HAVE 295 00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:12,273 ME A HOUSE WITH A BUNCH OF -- 296 00:10:12,267 --> 00:10:12,767 FEMALES. 297 00:10:12,767 --> 00:10:14,197 >> ALRIGHT, ELI. 298 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,330 IT'S TIME TO SILENCE THE HATERS. 299 00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:18,133 YOU'RE GOING TO PERFORM TONIGHT 300 00:10:18,133 --> 00:10:19,933 HERE IN FRONT OF THOUSANDS OF 301 00:10:19,933 --> 00:10:20,373 PEOPLE. 302 00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:21,397 >> OH, MAN. 303 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,970 THE MORE THE MERRIER. 304 00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:23,797 LET'S GET IT. 305 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,800 >> FIRST THING WE NODE TO DO IS 306 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,100 GET YOU A PAIR OF SUNGLASSES. 307 00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:29,770 >> OH, MAN. 308 00:10:29,767 --> 00:10:31,427 MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME. 309 00:10:31,433 --> 00:10:33,403 >> THOSE GLASSES LOOK GOOD. 310 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,500 >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 311 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:37,370 >> YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE THIS 312 00:10:37,367 --> 00:10:37,727 PART. 313 00:10:37,733 --> 00:10:38,573 >> [BEEP] 314 00:10:38,567 --> 00:10:41,627 >> NO BETTER WAY TO GETTING 315 00:10:41,633 --> 00:10:43,573 STREET CRED THAN GETTING SHOT. 316 00:10:43,567 --> 00:10:45,627 YOU GO TO THE STUDENT HEALTH 317 00:10:45,633 --> 00:10:47,903 CENTER AND I WILL HANDLE 318 00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:48,730 EVERYTHING ELSE. 319 00:10:48,733 --> 00:10:49,803 SEE YOU TONIGHT. 320 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:50,370 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 321 00:10:50,367 --> 00:10:52,397 >> NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIMING 322 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,030 EVER A LIVE REDEMPTION. 323 00:10:55,033 --> 00:10:58,303 THE WORLD WANTS TO KNOW ARE YOU 324 00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:01,470 READY TO HELP GIVE ELI ANOTHER 325 00:11:01,467 --> 00:11:01,767 SHOT? 326 00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:02,727 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 327 00:11:02,733 --> 00:11:06,603 >> THEN PLEASE WELCOME ELI 328 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:06,930 PORTER. 329 00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,533 WITH HIM THE LOVELY AND TALENTED 330 00:11:09,533 --> 00:11:13,503 GRAMMY SINGER/SONG WRITER SKYLAR 331 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:14,570 GREY. 332 00:11:14,567 --> 00:11:23,067 * 333 00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:25,567 * 334 00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:28,497 * HE'S THE BEST MAN 335 00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:29,800 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 336 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:33,300 *USE 337 00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:34,930 * HE DID IT 338 00:11:34,933 --> 00:11:36,273 * DID IT 339 00:11:36,267 --> 00:11:37,467 * 340 00:11:37,467 --> 00:11:42,897 * 341 00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:46,370 * 342 00:11:46,367 --> 00:11:48,567 >> D.J. MAKE THESE WHITE PEOPLE 343 00:11:48,567 --> 00:11:50,127 GET UP AND DANCE. 344 00:11:50,133 --> 00:11:52,803 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 345 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,800 >> YA ... 346 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:58,300 * 347 00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,170 >> ALRIGHT 348 00:11:59,167 --> 00:12:01,667 * I GOT ONE QUESTION, MAN 349 00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:07,867 * 350 00:12:07,867 --> 00:12:11,097 * HE'S THE BEST MAN 351 00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:12,070 * YA 352 00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:16,467 * WHO THE BEST BY THE HOUR 353 00:12:16,467 --> 00:12:18,197 * YOUR BRIDAL SHOWER 354 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,900 * I'M THE BEST MAN I DID IT 355 00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:22,900 * HE'S THE BEST MAN HE DID IT, 356 00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:23,770 DID IT 357 00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:26,297 * 358 00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:28,400 * I WONDER WHY HE CAME AT THE 359 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:31,670 END AND GAVE HER IT 360 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,927 * I'M THE BEST MAN I DID IT 361 00:12:33,933 --> 00:12:35,203 * I DID IT 362 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,070 * HE'S THE BEST MAN HE DID IT 363 00:12:38,067 --> 00:12:40,397 * HE'S THE BEST MAN HE DID IT 364 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,100 * HE'S THE BEST 365 00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:43,700 * MAN HE DID IT 366 00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:45,800 * HE'S THE BEST MAN, MAN HE DID 367 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:46,330 IT 368 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:47,773 * 369 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,667 * YOU ARE THE BEST MAN 370 00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:51,267 * HE THE BEST MAN 371 00:12:51,267 --> 00:12:56,067 * THE BEST MAN 372 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,897 * DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A REASON 373 00:12:57,900 --> 00:12:59,300 * HE JUST DID IT 374 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:05,670 * WHY YOU THE BEST MAN 375 00:13:05,667 --> 00:13:07,497 * THE BEST MAN 376 00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:09,600 * HE DIDN'T HAVE A REASON 377 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,330 * HE JUST DID IT 378 00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:13,073 * HE JUST DID IT 379 00:13:13,067 --> 00:13:14,897 * HE JUST DID IT 380 00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:16,530 * I DID IT 381 00:13:16,533 --> 00:13:17,133 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 382 00:13:17,133 --> 00:13:23,873 >> GIVE IT UP FOR ELI PORTER. 383 00:13:23,867 --> 00:13:26,197 AND SKYLAR GREY. 384 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,530 WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK. 385 00:13:27,533 --> 00:13:29,733 BUT FIRST BRING THINGS TO A 386 00:13:29,733 --> 00:13:32,573 SCREECHING HALT WITH TODD'S 387 00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:36,197 AWFUL PRANK SHOW SPECIAL COLLEGE 388 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:36,570 EDITION. 389 00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:38,067 >> I LOVE TODD GLASS. 390 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,767 >> I LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE. 391 00:13:41,767 --> 00:13:43,867 SKPWHRO HEY, HOW YOU DOING. 392 00:13:43,867 --> 00:13:46,127 >> I THINK I HAVE HERPES. 393 00:13:46,133 --> 00:13:48,633 >> YOU HAVE ORAL HERPES. 394 00:13:48,633 --> 00:13:49,903 >> NO,. 395 00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:53,500 >> GENITAL HERPESES. 396 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:53,870 WHY? 397 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,097 >> UH ... 398 00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:57,930 >> ITCHING AND IRRITATION. 399 00:13:57,933 --> 00:13:59,573 I WOULD NORMALLY TAKE YOU INTO 400 00:13:59,567 --> 00:14:01,867 THE ROOM FOR AN EXAM. 401 00:14:01,867 --> 00:14:03,967 THE REASON I CAN NOT DO THAT IS 402 00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:06,927 BECAUSE I'M NOT A DOCTOR, YOU 403 00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:07,333 IDIOT. 404 00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:09,273 YOU'RE ON MY AWFUL PRANK SHOW. 405 00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:11,567 MY GOD, YOU THINK I THROW ON A 406 00:14:11,567 --> 00:14:13,497 WHITE LAB COAT I'M A DOCTOR. 407 00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:15,500 I BARELY GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL. 408 00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:18,670 I PUT ON A JACKET. 409 00:14:18,667 --> 00:14:20,667 YOU STARP YAPPING ABOUT YOUR 410 00:14:20,667 --> 00:14:22,627 DISEASE INFECTED VAGINA. 411 00:14:22,633 --> 00:14:24,233 WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL THE 412 00:14:24,233 --> 00:14:25,703 WHOLE CAMPUS. 413 00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:27,170 HEY, EVERYBODY I'M A WHORE. 414 00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,897 I'M GETTING [BEEP] BY EVERYBODY. 415 00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:31,070 GET THE [BEEP] OUT OF HERE. 416 00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:32,827 YOU THINK I HAVE OINTMENT FOR 417 00:14:32,833 --> 00:14:33,103 YOU? 418 00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:36,500 I HAVE OINTMENT. 419 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,930 PUT GLUE [BEEP] AND STOP [BEEP] 420 00:14:38,933 --> 00:14:49,773 EVERY FRATERNITY JOCK IN THE 421 00:14:49,767 --> 00:14:50,167 * 422 00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:52,767 >> EVERYONE KNOWS THAT TOSH.O 423 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:56,297 WILL PLAY ANY VIDEO AS LONG AS 424 00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:59,430 IT'S AN OFFICIALLY SANKED WORLD 425 00:14:59,433 --> 00:14:59,833 RECORD. 426 00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:03,303 THAT BLIMP WENT OVER SEVEN 427 00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:03,730 PEOPLE. 428 00:15:03,733 --> 00:15:06,473 YOU KNOW IT'S TIME FOR NANA BOO 429 00:15:06,467 --> 00:15:12,527 BOO STICK YOUR HEAD IN DO DO AT 430 00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:12,933 ASU. 431 00:15:12,933 --> 00:15:18,103 U.YO 432 00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:26,330 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 433 00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:28,933 >> NANA BOO BOO STICK YOUR HEAD 434 00:15:28,933 --> 00:15:30,673 IN DOO DOO. 435 00:15:30,667 --> 00:15:33,827 THE GOOD THING ABOUT JUMPING 436 00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:35,333 OVER CHEER LEADERS ARE THEY'RE 437 00:15:35,333 --> 00:15:36,303 NICE AND FLAT. 438 00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:39,370 I ENJOYED MY TIME HERE AT ASU. 439 00:15:39,367 --> 00:15:41,867 THE MEMORIES I HAVE MADE IN THE 440 00:15:41,867 --> 00:15:44,067 LAST 42 HOURS WILL STAY WITH ME 441 00:15:44,067 --> 00:15:45,927 FOR AT LEAST A WEEK. 442 00:15:45,933 --> 00:15:47,733 * 443 00:15:58,133 --> 00:16:00,233 >> CAN I HELP YOU? 444 00:16:00,233 --> 00:16:02,603 >> I AM YOUR NUDE MODEL. 445 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:06,970 >> THIS IS ECONOMICS. 446 00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:09,227 >> ENJOY YOUR STIMULUS PACKAGE. 447 00:16:09,233 --> 00:16:11,303 >> IT IS A MEASURE TO BE HANGING 448 00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:16,070 OUT WITH THE MEXICAN FRAT TODAY. 449 00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:20,067 >> OOH. 450 00:16:20,067 --> 00:16:21,697 >> SUPPOSE TO BE HERE WITH MY 451 00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:22,070 PEOPLE. 452 00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:22,927 WHAT'S FOR DINNER? 453 00:16:22,933 --> 00:16:26,073 >> WE'RE HAVING ITALIAN. 454 00:16:26,067 --> 00:16:31,267 >> [BEEP] 455 00:16:31,267 --> 00:16:33,427 (YELLING ) 456 00:16:50,167 --> 00:16:51,197 * 457 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,830 >> YO, CHECKING ALL DORM ROOMS 458 00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:58,303 FOR SEMON. 459 00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:01,070 SORRY, GUYS, HAVE TO DO THIS. 460 00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:01,427 GOOD. 461 00:17:01,433 --> 00:17:06,073 LOOKS PRETTY CLEAN IN HERE. 462 00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:14,070 >> WHAT WAS THAT? 463 00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,897 [LAUGHING] 464 00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:25,327 >> OKAY. 465 00:17:25,333 --> 00:17:26,333 OH ... 466 00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:29,773 >> .24. 467 00:17:29,767 --> 00:17:30,797 >> YA! 468 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:34,970 >> ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. 469 00:17:34,967 --> 00:17:36,527 * 470 00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:39,733 * 471 00:17:39,733 --> 00:17:41,673 >> AHHH! 472 00:17:41,667 --> 00:17:44,197 >> CONGRATULATIONS YOU'RE THE 473 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:45,730 ONE HUNDRED CALLER ON THIS 474 00:17:45,733 --> 00:17:46,173 PHONE. 475 00:17:46,167 --> 00:17:47,627 IF YOU CAN GIVE ME THE PHRASE 476 00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:50,473 THAT PAYS YOU AND YOUR ATTACKER 477 00:17:50,467 --> 00:17:52,897 WILL BE OFF TO BEAUTIFUL A RUBE 478 00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:53,300 AFPLT. 479 00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:55,170 >> I'M BEING ATTACKED BY A 480 00:17:55,167 --> 00:17:55,827 RAPIST. 481 00:17:55,833 --> 00:17:57,533 >> SORRY WE WERE LOOKING FOR, 482 00:17:57,533 --> 00:17:59,473 WHO LET THE DOGS OUT. 483 00:18:02,067 --> 00:18:03,497 * 484 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:09,870 >> LOOKS LIKE I GRADUATED SUMMA 485 00:18:09,867 --> 00:18:11,067 CUM LOADY. 486 00:18:11,067 --> 00:18:18,327 WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE 487 00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:20,733 * 488 00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:21,573 WELCOME BACK. 489 00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:25,397 NEXT WEEK THIS SURFER CATCHES A 490 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,400 WEB REDEMPTION. 491 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,700 >> DROP DOWN. 492 00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:34,370 >> BELIEVE IT OR NOT 33 ON HIS 493 00:18:34,367 --> 00:18:34,767 ACT. 494 00:18:34,767 --> 00:18:39,767 KEEP UP WITH OUR BLOG AT COMEDY 495 00:18:39,767 --> 00:18:40,167 CENTRAL.COM. 496 00:18:40,167 --> 00:18:43,227 FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER TO LIVE 497 00:18:43,233 --> 00:18:44,333 CHAT ON THE SHOWS. 498 00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,903 I HAVE THE MEANEST FOLLOWERS IN 499 00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,600 THE WORLD BUT I WANTED TO SEE IF 500 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:53,370 YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO INSULT ME 501 00:18:53,367 --> 00:18:54,627 TO MY FACE. 502 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:57,873 THAT'S WHY I ARRANGED A TWEET & 503 00:18:57,867 --> 00:18:58,197 GREET. 504 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,070 >> I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY. 505 00:19:00,067 --> 00:19:02,067 NEVER MET A D LIST CELEBRITY 506 00:19:02,067 --> 00:19:02,397 BEFORE. 507 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,700 >> I WILL TAKE IT. 508 00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:06,070 >> I'M NEVER NERVOUS. 509 00:19:06,067 --> 00:19:07,297 >> YOUR TIME IS UP. 510 00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:09,900 >> NO, WAIT. 511 00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:11,100 >> -- A FEW. 512 00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:11,630 [LAUGHING] 513 00:19:11,633 --> 00:19:13,273 >> OKAY. 514 00:19:13,267 --> 00:19:14,397 >> IN. 515 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,170 >> WHY NOT? 516 00:19:15,167 --> 00:19:16,867 >> BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GET 517 00:19:16,867 --> 00:19:17,697 ANYTHING. 518 00:19:17,700 --> 00:19:23,200 >> YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK BY 519 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:24,130 IT'S COVER. 520 00:19:24,133 --> 00:19:25,173 YOU LOOK DIRTY. 521 00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:28,927 >> I HAVE NEVER WATCHED A SINGLE 522 00:19:28,933 --> 00:19:29,703 EPISODE ON THE SHOW. 523 00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:31,430 >> YOU'RE THE FUNNIEST GUY I 524 00:19:31,433 --> 00:19:31,903 KNOW. 525 00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:32,400 >> THANK YOU. 526 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,500 YOU'RE THE ONLY BLACK GUY I KNOW 527 00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:35,970 THAT GOES TO ASU. 528 00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:36,327 [BEEP] 529 00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:38,233 >> YOU DON'T HAVE UNDERWEAR ON? 530 00:19:38,233 --> 00:19:39,173 >> NO. 531 00:19:39,167 --> 00:19:41,367 [BEEP] 532 00:19:41,367 --> 00:19:44,467 >> AHH! 533 00:19:44,467 --> 00:19:46,197 >> IT'S NOT SUNNY OUT. 534 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,530 >> YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD 535 00:19:48,533 --> 00:19:49,933 UNDERSTAND THE DANGERS OF 536 00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:51,633 GETTING SUN ON A CLOUDY DAY. 537 00:19:51,633 --> 00:19:53,733 >> I CAN PUT MY FIST IN MY 538 00:19:53,733 --> 00:19:54,133 MOUTH. 539 00:19:54,133 --> 00:19:55,073 -RPBLGTS CAN I SEE IT? 540 00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:58,127 >> YA. 541 00:19:58,133 --> 00:20:00,873 >> CAN I GIVE YOU A -- 542 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:01,397 >> NO. 543 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,900 >> CHEEK KISS. 544 00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:03,470 >> NO. 545 00:20:03,467 --> 00:20:05,227 >> I'M GOING TO DO IT. 546 00:20:05,233 --> 00:20:06,933 >> I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW I'M 547 00:20:06,933 --> 00:20:08,233 STILL A VIRGIN. 548 00:20:08,233 --> 00:20:10,733 SO, HERE IS MY NUMBER. 549 00:20:10,733 --> 00:20:12,233 >> I APPRECIATE THAT. 550 00:20:12,233 --> 00:20:14,633 I HAVE NEVER BEEN ANYONE'S 551 00:20:14,633 --> 00:20:14,933 FIRST. 552 00:20:14,933 --> 00:20:15,333 THANK YOU. 553 00:20:15,333 --> 00:20:16,733 >> WHAT'S UP BUDDY. 554 00:20:16,733 --> 00:20:19,033 >> HIT ME UP A DAY LATER. 555 00:20:19,033 --> 00:20:22,033 [LAUGHING] 556 00:20:22,033 --> 00:20:23,833 >> ALRIGHT. 557 00:20:23,833 --> 00:20:25,433 >> PRETEND YOU HAVE SOMETHING 558 00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,303 FUNNY TO SAY. 559 00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:27,030 >> OKAY. 560 00:20:27,033 --> 00:20:28,103 >> OKAY. 561 00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:29,130 [LAUGHING] 562 00:20:29,133 --> 00:20:30,833 >> WILL YOU HAVE SEX WITH MY 563 00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:31,273 GIRLFRIEND. 564 00:20:31,267 --> 00:20:33,967 >> WHAT SHE LOOK LIKE? 565 00:20:33,967 --> 00:20:34,867 >> GREMLIN. 566 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:35,327 >> NO. 567 00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:36,473 >> WHAT ABOUT ME. 568 00:20:36,467 --> 00:20:37,697 >> YA! 569 00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:39,970 >> LOOK AT THIS GUY. 570 00:20:39,967 --> 00:20:42,127 MAN, YOU'RE WHAT HITLER HAD IN 571 00:20:42,133 --> 00:20:42,573 MIND. 572 00:20:42,567 --> 00:20:43,567 >> I AM? 573 00:20:43,567 --> 00:20:45,197 THANKS. 574 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:50,730 >> THANKS FOR COMING, GUYS. 575 00:20:50,733 --> 00:20:53,703 (YELLING ) 576 00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:54,670 >> ALL RIGHT. 577 00:20:54,667 --> 00:20:57,297 SUN DEVILS I'M TAKING MY GREEN 578 00:20:57,300 --> 00:20:58,900 SCREEN BACK TO HOLLYWOOD. 579 00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:01,530 YOU CAN SCRAPE OFF SOME OF YOUR 580 00:21:01,533 --> 00:21:02,303 MAKEUP NOW. 581 00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:04,070 GOOD NIGHT. 582 00:21:04,067 --> 00:21:04,967 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 583 00:21:04,967 --> 00:21:15,367 * 584 00:21:15,367 --> 00:21:17,097 >> IF YOU USE THIS NEXT TIME YOU 585 00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:19,370 GET A BLOW JOB IT WILL FEEL 586 00:21:19,367 --> 00:21:19,727 AMAZING. 587 00:21:19,733 --> 00:21:21,433 >> WHAT IF YOU GIVE ONE. 588 00:21:21,433 --> 00:21:22,633 >> NOW OR LATER? 589 00:21:22,633 --> 00:21:23,133 >> NOW. 590 00:21:23,133 --> 00:21:25,233 >> HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW I 591 00:21:25,233 --> 00:21:26,473 BANGED YOUR GRANDMA? 35241

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