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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:30,800 [indistinct shouting] 2 00:00:30,833 --> 00:00:33,803 [upbeat music] 3 00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:35,503 * 4 00:00:35,533 --> 00:00:38,533 [cheers and applause] 5 00:00:42,533 --> 00:00:44,003 - HA HA! 6 00:00:44,033 --> 00:00:45,433 JOKE'S ON YOU. 7 00:00:45,467 --> 00:00:48,467 HE WAS BORN IN A BRIAR PATCH. 8 00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:49,600 WELCOME TO TOSH.0. 9 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,033 THIS IS THE LAST SHOW OF THE SUMMER. 10 00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:53,367 HOPE YOU'VE BEEN HOARDING EPISODES ON YOUR DVR. 11 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:54,900 TONIGHT ON THE SHOW, 12 00:00:54,933 --> 00:00:57,003 I TRY TO CATCH A LEPRECHAUN IN ALABAMA, 13 00:00:57,033 --> 00:00:58,603 WE GET OUR HANDS VERY DIRTY, 14 00:00:58,633 --> 00:01:00,533 AND I ANNOUNCE WHERE WE'LL BE GOING 15 00:01:00,567 --> 00:01:01,827 FOR OUR CAMPUS INVASION. 16 00:01:01,867 --> 00:01:03,797 NOW, LET'S SEE THAT JUMP AGAIN. 17 00:01:03,833 --> 00:01:05,173 YOU REALLY SHOULD BE FINE, 18 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,800 JUST AS LONG AS YOU DON'T LAND 19 00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:10,273 ON THAT ONE, DANGEROUSLY SPIKED PIECE OF-- 20 00:01:10,300 --> 00:01:12,070 NEVER MIND. 21 00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:13,500 I WISH THAT HAPPENED TO EVERYONE 22 00:01:13,533 --> 00:01:16,073 WHO WORE JEANS ON THE BEACH. 23 00:01:16,067 --> 00:01:21,067 LOW TIDE CAME IN FASTER THAN EXPECTED. 24 00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:22,070 DO YOU THINK BEFORE HE JUMPED, 25 00:01:22,100 --> 00:01:23,230 HE LOOKED AT HIS FRIENDS AND GOES, 26 00:01:23,267 --> 00:01:25,127 "WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN?" 27 00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:28,667 IT HURTS TO GET WOOD STUCK UP YOUR BUTT, 28 00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:31,070 EVEN WHEN IT'S CONSENSUAL. 29 00:01:31,100 --> 00:01:32,970 SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS NEXT LADY 30 00:01:33,067 --> 00:01:35,527 IS USED TO SHOVING DIRTY WIENERS IN HER MOUTH. 31 00:01:35,567 --> 00:01:39,197 LOOKS LIKE THE BLIND MELON BUMBLEBEE GIRL 32 00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:41,533 IS DOING PRETTY WELL FOR HERSELF. 33 00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:44,267 [chuckles] 34 00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:47,800 A LITTLE PRE-DOG NAP. 35 00:01:52,767 --> 00:01:54,067 ALL RIGHT. 36 00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:55,167 NO ONE SAW IT, 37 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,800 EXCEPT FOR THE GUY WITH THE CAMERA. 38 00:01:57,833 --> 00:01:59,473 HEY, AT LEAST IT'S CLEANER 39 00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:02,330 THAN THE TRASH CAN SHE DUG IT OUT OF. 40 00:02:02,367 --> 00:02:04,167 HEY, WHEN YOU'RE ON HEROIN, 41 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,430 FLOOR GRIME IS JUST NATURE'S KETCHUP. 42 00:02:07,467 --> 00:02:09,697 EVEN THE HOMELESS RESPECT THE FIVE-SECOND RULE. 43 00:02:09,733 --> 00:02:12,133 BUT IT DOESN'T JUST APPLY TO FOOD IN MY WORLD. 44 00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:15,303 - I'M SORRY YOU'RE UPSET. 45 00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:17,073 I MADE A MISTAKE, AND YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED. 46 00:02:17,067 --> 00:02:18,297 LET ME MAKE IT UP TO YOU. 47 00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:20,103 I'LL TAKE YOU TO BRUNCH ON SUNDAY. 48 00:02:20,133 --> 00:02:21,603 - OKAY, YOU CAN ONLY TALK TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND 49 00:02:21,633 --> 00:02:24,133 LIKE A PUSSY FOR FIVE SECONDS. 50 00:02:30,767 --> 00:02:35,897 [all laughing] 51 00:02:35,933 --> 00:02:37,373 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, GUYS. 52 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:40,400 THAT'S FIVE SECONDS. ARE YOU OKAY? 53 00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:43,973 1 MISSISSIPPI, 54 00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:47,967 2 MISSISSIPPI, 3 MISSISSIPPI, 55 00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:50,867 4 MISSISSIPPI, 56 00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:52,730 5 MISSISSIPPI. 57 00:02:52,767 --> 00:02:54,467 1 MISSISSIPPI, 58 00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:56,400 2 MISSISSIPPI... 59 00:02:56,433 --> 00:02:59,103 OH, IF THERE ARE ANY FIVE-SECOND RULES I MISSED, 60 00:02:59,133 --> 00:03:00,333 FEEL FREE TO SEND THEM IN. 61 00:03:00,367 --> 00:03:03,627 NOW, IT'S TIME TO GO ASS TO ASS. 62 00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:06,767 audience: ASS TO ASS! ASS TO ASS! 63 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:07,870 - ONE! 64 00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:09,200 WAIT! 65 00:03:09,233 --> 00:03:12,473 [men shouting indistinctly] 66 00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:16,270 - ALL RIGHT. 3, 2, 1... 67 00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:18,070 GO! 68 00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:23,067 [men shouting and laughing] 69 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,900 FIRE IN THE B-HOLE. 70 00:03:27,933 --> 00:03:32,933 [men continue shouting and laughing] 71 00:03:41,367 --> 00:03:42,797 OH. 72 00:03:42,833 --> 00:03:47,203 THAT IS OFFICIALLY THE WORST-SMELLING CANDLE EVER. 73 00:03:47,233 --> 00:03:48,833 OR THE BEST... 74 00:03:48,867 --> 00:03:51,297 DEPENDING ON YOUR PREFERENCE. 75 00:03:51,333 --> 00:03:53,233 SORRY WE DIDN'T WRITE MORE JOKES FOR THAT. 76 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:55,897 I JUST BOUGHT A FLEET OF REMOTE-CONTROLLED HELICOPTERS, 77 00:03:55,933 --> 00:03:58,603 AND THAT DOES NOT MAKE FOR A GOOD WORK ENVIRONMENT. 78 00:03:58,633 --> 00:04:01,573 [high-pitched whirring] 79 00:04:04,367 --> 00:04:06,227 SORRY. 80 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,267 - [chuckles] JEEZ. - SORRY ABOUT THAT. 81 00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:13,830 OH, LOOK OUT. 82 00:04:13,867 --> 00:04:16,597 - OH. - OH! 83 00:04:16,633 --> 00:04:17,833 - OH, LOOK OUT. 84 00:04:17,867 --> 00:04:19,427 OH, LOOK OUT. 85 00:04:22,233 --> 00:04:25,303 [dramatic orchestral music] 86 00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:27,903 FOCUS ON THE VIDEOS, NOT THE HELICOPTER. 87 00:04:27,933 --> 00:04:30,073 HEY, PUT YOUR HAND DOWN, YOU PUSSY. 88 00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:31,467 - AAH! - OH. 89 00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:33,070 - OH, HO HO! 90 00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:35,400 OH, LOST "A" AND "Z." 91 00:04:35,433 --> 00:04:36,933 - WHEN DO YOU USE "A" AND "Z"? 92 00:04:36,967 --> 00:04:38,397 - RARELY. - RARELY. 93 00:04:38,433 --> 00:04:39,533 TURNS OUT THOSE THINGS 94 00:04:39,567 --> 00:04:41,067 ARE PRETTY DIFFICULT TO FLY. 95 00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:44,897 ANYONE KNOW WHAT THE MALL KIOSK RETURN POLICY IS? 96 00:04:44,933 --> 00:04:47,203 DO YOU? 97 00:04:47,233 --> 00:04:49,703 I HOPE THEY'RE LENIENT. 98 00:04:49,733 --> 00:04:52,073 THIS NEXT CHIROPRACTOR IS A LITTLE STRANGE. 99 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:04,603 OH, SHE IS GOING TO HURT HER BABY DOING THAT. 100 00:05:04,633 --> 00:05:06,373 [chuckles] MIKE & MOLLY LOOKS LIKE 101 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,430 IT'S GETTING A LOT BETTER THIS SEASON. 102 00:05:09,467 --> 00:05:11,467 ALL RIGHT, I THINK YOUR PANTIES 103 00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:13,200 MIGHT BE OVER CAPACITY. 104 00:05:13,233 --> 00:05:15,933 - OOH! DID YOU HEAR THAT? 105 00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:18,467 - I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING OVER YOUR BREATHING, HOSS. 106 00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,770 - OH! 107 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,770 - THIS NEXT GUY SAW THE MOVIE SPEED 108 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,330 AND HAS BEEN TAKING EXTREME PRECAUTIONS EVER SINCE. 109 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,670 IS IT EVER NOT SNOWING IN RUSSIA? 110 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:35,470 UGH, IF YOU EVER SEE ME TAKING A BUS, 111 00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:37,570 PLEASE SHOOT ME. 112 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,730 SOMEONE JUST SAVED 35 CENTS. 113 00:05:39,767 --> 00:05:41,467 [chuckles] I LIKE THAT THEY MADE HIM 114 00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:43,800 GET IN THE BACK OF THE BUS. 115 00:05:43,833 --> 00:05:45,273 ALL RIGHT, IF YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A GUN, 116 00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:47,200 GET IN THE BACK OF THE BUS. 117 00:05:47,233 --> 00:05:48,533 'CAUSE IF YOU'RE WALKING AROUND WITH A MACHINE GUN, 118 00:05:48,567 --> 00:05:50,967 YOU MIGHT AS WELL STEAL SOMETHING A LITTLE SPORTIER-- 119 00:05:51,067 --> 00:05:54,497 MAYBE A NEW ACURA INTEGRA. 120 00:05:54,533 --> 00:05:55,833 WHAT'S NEXT? 121 00:05:55,867 --> 00:05:58,827 [hip-hop music playing] 122 00:05:58,867 --> 00:06:07,297 * 123 00:06:15,633 --> 00:06:17,233 - IF "E" FROM ENTOURAGE 124 00:06:17,267 --> 00:06:19,197 DOESN'T FIND SOME CLUB SODA A.S.A.P., 125 00:06:19,233 --> 00:06:21,833 THAT SHIRT IS GOING TO BE RUINED. 126 00:06:21,867 --> 00:06:24,097 NOW, LET'S TOUCH PENISES AND COME OUT DANCING 127 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:25,473 IN THIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN. 128 00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:28,370 [cheers and applause] 129 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,200 OH. PEOPLE LOVE FORMING CIRCLES. 130 00:06:32,233 --> 00:06:34,903 ESPECIALLY AROUND A DANCE-OFF. 131 00:06:34,933 --> 00:06:36,373 I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S BECAUSE 132 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,070 HE'S EXTREMELY GOOD-LOOKING 133 00:06:38,067 --> 00:06:39,427 OR BECAUSE HE'S HUMPING A BOY, 134 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:42,597 BUT THAT GUY IN GREEN REMINDS ME OF ROBERT PATTINSON. 135 00:06:42,633 --> 00:06:45,333 EVEN DAVID WASN'T STUPID ENOUGH 136 00:06:45,367 --> 00:06:46,667 TO TAKE ON TWO GOLIATHS. 137 00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:49,900 AND HE HAD GOD AND HIS TRUSTY SLINGSHOT ON HIS SIDE, 138 00:06:49,933 --> 00:06:51,303 NOT EVEN ONE OF THOSE GOOD SLINGSHOTS 139 00:06:51,333 --> 00:06:52,433 THAT YOU PULL BACK WITH THE RUBBER-- 140 00:06:52,467 --> 00:06:54,527 LIKE, THE OLD-SCHOOLERS... YOU GOTTA LET-- 141 00:06:54,567 --> 00:06:58,097 HE BASICALLY [bleep] THREW A ROCK AT A GUY. 142 00:06:58,133 --> 00:07:01,473 all: OHH! 143 00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:02,670 - NEVER MESS WITH A GUY 144 00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:04,800 WHO CARRIES AN EXTRA BEER IN HIS POCKET. 145 00:07:10,433 --> 00:07:13,703 SOLID PUNCH-- HE KNOCKED HIS HAT OFF. 146 00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:15,173 THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT "LIQUID COURAGE." 147 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:18,430 IF YOU DRINK ENOUGH, YOU FORGET YOU'RE 5'4". 148 00:07:18,467 --> 00:07:20,867 BUT GIRLS DON'T. 149 00:07:22,967 --> 00:07:25,097 YOU'RE BRINGING THIS ON YOURSELF. 150 00:07:25,133 --> 00:07:26,703 I LOVE THIS KID'S GUMPTION. 151 00:07:26,733 --> 00:07:27,833 HE'S LIKE BRETT FAVRE-- 152 00:07:27,867 --> 00:07:30,627 TOO STUPID TO WALK AWAY. 153 00:07:34,633 --> 00:07:36,503 ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, 154 00:07:36,533 --> 00:07:40,073 HE WILL BE UNCONSCIOUS FOR ALL OF MOBY'S SET. 155 00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:45,100 I WISH EVERY DANCE-OFF ENDED IN VIOLENCE. 156 00:07:45,133 --> 00:07:47,103 I'M JUST GLAD WE PROVED ONCE AGAIN 157 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,133 THAT IN THE REAL WORLD, 158 00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:49,597 THE LITTLE GUY GETS HIS ASS BEAT, 159 00:07:49,633 --> 00:07:51,673 WHILE BULLIES LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. 160 00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:53,900 AND FOR THAT, WE THANK YOU. 161 00:07:53,933 --> 00:07:56,403 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A WEB INVESTIGATION, 162 00:07:56,433 --> 00:07:59,173 BUT FIRST, HERE'S YOUR DICK OF THE WEEK. 163 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:02,230 [calypso music] 164 00:08:02,267 --> 00:08:07,567 * 165 00:08:13,533 --> 00:08:14,633 - SOME PEOPLE IN THE CRICHTON AREA OF MOBILE SAY 166 00:08:14,667 --> 00:08:16,967 A LEPRECHAUN HAS TAKEN UP RESIDENCE 167 00:08:17,067 --> 00:08:18,067 IN THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD. 168 00:08:18,067 --> 00:08:19,827 - THIS AMATEUR SKETCH RESEMBLES 169 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:22,267 WHAT MANY OF YOU SAY THE LEPRECHAUN LOOKS LIKE. 170 00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:24,130 OTHERS FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE 171 00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:25,467 AND HAVE COME UP WITH THEIR OWN THEORIES 172 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,830 AND EXPLANATIONS FOR THE IMAGE. 173 00:08:27,867 --> 00:08:29,497 - COULD BE A CRACKHEAD 174 00:08:29,533 --> 00:08:32,103 THAT GOT HOLD TO THE WRONG STUFF. 175 00:08:32,133 --> 00:08:34,503 - THIS GUY HELPING TO DIRECT TRAFFIC SAYS 176 00:08:34,533 --> 00:08:36,573 HE IS PREPARED FOR HIS ENCOUNTER WITH THE LEPRECHAUN. 177 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,070 - THIS IS A SPECIAL LEPRECHAUN FLUTE. 178 00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:40,927 THIS HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN FROM THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO 179 00:08:40,967 --> 00:08:43,597 FROM MY GREAT-GREAT-GRANDFATHER WHO WAS IRISH. 180 00:08:43,633 --> 00:08:44,833 I JUST CAME TO HELP OUT. 181 00:08:44,867 --> 00:08:46,727 - WHO ELSE SEEN THE LEPRECHAUN? SAY "YEAH"! 182 00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:49,067 all: YEAH! 183 00:08:49,067 --> 00:08:51,297 - IN ALABAMA, BELIEVING IN LEPRECHAUNS 184 00:08:51,333 --> 00:08:52,573 WILL GET YOU ON THE NEWS. 185 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,670 BUT BELIEVING IN EVOLUTION WILL GET YOU LYNCHED. 186 00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:58,400 THIS IS THE GONE WITH THE WIND OF INTERNET VIDEOS. 187 00:08:58,433 --> 00:09:00,073 IT'S OLD, IT'S FAMOUS, 188 00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:01,830 AND IT MAKES THE SOUTH LOOK TERRIBLE. 189 00:09:01,867 --> 00:09:03,767 THERE ISN'T A LEPRECHAUN THERE, 190 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,200 BECAUSE NO TINY WHITE MAN COULD SURVIVE IN THE HOOD 191 00:09:06,233 --> 00:09:08,603 FOR LONGER THAN THREE MINUTES. 192 00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:10,073 AND IF THERE WAS A TREASURE, 193 00:09:10,067 --> 00:09:13,327 IT WOULD ALREADY BE MAILED IN TO CASH 4 GOLD. 194 00:09:13,367 --> 00:09:15,197 GUESS HOW MANY MYTHICAL BEASTS 195 00:09:15,233 --> 00:09:17,273 ARE SPOTTED EVERY YEAR IN L.A. AND NEW YORK? 196 00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:18,370 ZERO. 197 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,430 BECAUSE WE'RE EDUCATED. 198 00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:23,127 IF YOU'RE POOR, YOU NEED TO HAVE A STRONG IMAGINATION. 199 00:09:23,167 --> 00:09:25,167 YOU KNOW WHAT'S MORE RARE THAN A UNICORN? 200 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:29,100 A RICH PERSON DEVOTING THEIR LIFE TO FINDING BIGFOOT. 201 00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:31,473 EVERY CULTURE HAS THEIR OWN MADE-UP NIGHTMARES. 202 00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:33,200 MEXICANS HAVE CHUPACABRA. 203 00:09:33,233 --> 00:09:34,803 THE CHINESE HAVE DRAGONS. 204 00:09:34,833 --> 00:09:37,403 WHITE PEOPLE HAVE BLACK PEOPLE. 205 00:09:37,433 --> 00:09:39,673 AND WOMEN HAVE ROMANTIC COMEDIES. 206 00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:41,700 LISTEN, I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH I ENJOYED 207 00:09:41,733 --> 00:09:42,803 GOING THE DISTANCE. 208 00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,603 NO MAN MOVES ACROSS THE COUNTRY 209 00:09:44,633 --> 00:09:46,533 FOR A MID-30s DREW BARRYMORE. 210 00:09:46,567 --> 00:09:48,597 NONE OF THESE CREATURES EXIST. 211 00:09:48,633 --> 00:09:51,203 IF THEY DID, WE WOULD HAVE CAPTURED THEM YEARS AGO 212 00:09:51,233 --> 00:09:54,133 AND TORTURED THEM IN ZOOS FOR OUR OWN AMUSEMENT. 213 00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:56,927 I DO KNOW THE LOCH NESS MONSTER IS ALIVE AND WELL, 214 00:09:56,967 --> 00:09:59,727 BECAUSE IT LIVES IN MY PANTS. 215 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:03,627 AND IT'S BEEN SPOTTED SUNBATHING ON MY BALLS. 216 00:10:03,667 --> 00:10:05,567 THE ONLY REAL MONSTERS IN THE WORLD 217 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:09,570 ARE THE MOMS FROM TODDLERS & TIARAS. 218 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,430 [high-pitched voice] CUTIE! 219 00:10:11,467 --> 00:10:13,827 CUTIE PATOOTIE! 220 00:10:13,867 --> 00:10:16,097 [normal voice] BUT THE GOOD PEOPLE OF ALABAMA 221 00:10:16,133 --> 00:10:18,073 THINK THEY HAVE LEPRECHAUNS IN THEM THERE TREES. 222 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:19,700 SO I GOT A BATTERY OF SHOTS 223 00:10:19,733 --> 00:10:21,103 AND HEADED TO THE HEART OF DIXIE 224 00:10:21,133 --> 00:10:23,033 TO SEE IF THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE 225 00:10:23,067 --> 00:10:24,867 IN THIS WEEK'S WEB INVESTIGATION. 226 00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:27,370 [applause] 227 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,500 ON MARCH 17, 2006, 228 00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:31,633 A LEPRECHAUN WAS SPOTTED IN THE URBAN COMMUNITY 229 00:10:31,667 --> 00:10:32,867 OF CRICHTON, ALABAMA. 230 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:35,370 AND BY "URBAN," I MEAN BLACK. 231 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,130 SO I BOARDED A PLANE AND MADE MY WAY TO ALABAMA, 232 00:10:38,167 --> 00:10:40,597 A.K.A. BUM [bleep] EGYPT. 233 00:10:40,633 --> 00:10:42,973 THAT SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY WAS IMPRESSIVE. 234 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,470 BUT I WAS HERE TO GET SOME ANSWERS. 235 00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:48,130 AND WHO BETTER TO GIVE THEM THAN THE GUY WITH THE FLUTE? 236 00:10:48,167 --> 00:10:51,867 THIS VIDEO BECAME A HUGE SENSATION IN 2006. 237 00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:53,030 - THAT'S RIGHT. 238 00:10:53,067 --> 00:10:54,227 - WHAT WAS YOUR ROLE IN THAT? 239 00:10:54,267 --> 00:10:55,827 - UM, I AM THE STAR OF THAT VIDEO. 240 00:10:55,867 --> 00:10:57,527 THIS IS A SPECIAL LEPRECHAUN FLUTE. 241 00:10:57,567 --> 00:10:59,827 THIS HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN FROM THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO 242 00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:02,227 FROM MY GREAT-GREAT-GRANDFATHER WHO WAS IRISH. 243 00:11:02,267 --> 00:11:03,527 - DO THEY CALL YOU "FLUTE MAN"? 244 00:11:03,567 --> 00:11:05,567 - THIS ONE? [chuckles] - OH! 245 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,170 THAT THING HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN FOR GENERATIONS. 246 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,330 - YES, IT HAS. 247 00:11:09,367 --> 00:11:10,527 - DO YOU BELIEVE IN LEPRECHAUNS? 248 00:11:10,567 --> 00:11:11,667 - I DIDN'T AT FIRST, 249 00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:12,800 BUT YOU LOOKED IN THE TREE. 250 00:11:12,833 --> 00:11:14,573 IT WAS LIKE A HOLOGRAM OF THE LEPRECHAUN. 251 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,070 WHEN THEY TOOK THE LIGHT OFF IT, IT KEPT DISAPPEARING. 252 00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:18,697 AND SO, YOU KNOW, IT WAS SOMETHING UP THERE. 253 00:11:18,733 --> 00:11:20,303 MAYBE SOME KIND OF SPIRIT OR SOMETHING. 254 00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:22,433 - SOMEONE SAID THAT THEY THOUGHT THE LEPRECHAUN 255 00:11:22,467 --> 00:11:23,427 WAS A CRACKHEAD. 256 00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:25,067 - COULD BE A CRACKHEAD 257 00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:27,700 THAT GOT HOLD TO THE WRONG STUFF. 258 00:11:27,733 --> 00:11:30,073 - ARE THERE A LOT OF CRACKHEADS IN MOBILE? 259 00:11:30,067 --> 00:11:31,527 - OH, THERE ARE SEVERAL. 260 00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:32,927 - SO THAT WAS A POSSIBILITY? - THAT'S A POSSIBILITY. 261 00:11:32,967 --> 00:11:34,067 - THAT WASN'T COMPLETELY DISMISSED. 262 00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:35,127 - IT WAS NOT. 263 00:11:35,167 --> 00:11:37,227 - SO, RIGHT AFTER THAT FIRST STORY AIRED, 264 00:11:37,267 --> 00:11:38,897 WHAT HAPPENED, LIKE, THE VERY NEXT DAY? 265 00:11:38,933 --> 00:11:40,833 - YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW MANY PEOPLE 266 00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,427 PACKED THOSE STREETS JUST TO SEE THAT, 267 00:11:42,467 --> 00:11:43,567 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 268 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,130 JUST TO ASK ME QUESTIONS ABOUT THE LEPRECHAUN 269 00:11:45,167 --> 00:11:46,567 AND DIFFERENT THINGS LIKE THAT. 270 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,900 - WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE LEPRECHAUN MOVIE OF ALL TIME? 271 00:11:48,933 --> 00:11:49,973 - LEPRECHAUN IN THE HOOD. 272 00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:51,227 - WHAT'D THEY REDO FOR THAT ONE? 273 00:11:51,267 --> 00:11:54,067 - IT WAS MORE LIKE A "URBAN" VERSION. [chuckles] 274 00:11:54,067 --> 00:11:55,467 - WAS IT BETTER OR WORSE THAN SOUL PLANE? 275 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,070 - WORSE. - THAT'S HARD TO DO. 276 00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:58,670 - [laughs] - IN THE VIDEO, 277 00:11:58,700 --> 00:11:59,900 YOU SAID YOU WERE IRISH. - MM-HMM. 278 00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:01,697 - HOW IRISH WOULD YOU SAY YOU ARE? 279 00:12:01,733 --> 00:12:03,403 - I'D SAY ABOUT 10%. 280 00:12:03,433 --> 00:12:04,733 - DO YOU HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM? 281 00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:05,797 - ON THE WEEKENDS. 282 00:12:05,833 --> 00:12:07,073 - THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A PROBLEM. 283 00:12:07,067 --> 00:12:08,197 - THAT'S WHAT I SAID. 284 00:12:08,233 --> 00:12:10,303 - WAS THAT A PROFESSIONAL SKETCH ARTIST 285 00:12:10,333 --> 00:12:12,103 THAT MADE THAT DRAWING OF THE LEPRECHAUN? 286 00:12:12,133 --> 00:12:13,773 - WHAT DO YOU THINK? 287 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:14,970 [both laugh] 288 00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,167 - IT SEEMED PRETTY SPOT-ON. 289 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,500 - AND HE GOT MONEY. - FOR THAT DRAWING? 290 00:12:18,533 --> 00:12:20,573 - YEAH, IT'S LIKE A KINDERGARTNER DREW THAT. 291 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,570 HE GOT, LIKE, $1,800-- - [laughing] 292 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,470 I SAT DOWN WITH THAT MODERN-DAY MICHELANGELO 293 00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:27,800 TO SEE IF HE COULD MAKE THINGS A LITTLE LESS SKETCHY. 294 00:12:27,833 --> 00:12:30,303 HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AN ARTIST? 295 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:31,603 - I'M NOT REALLY AN ARTIST. 296 00:12:31,633 --> 00:12:32,833 - NO [bleep]. 297 00:12:32,867 --> 00:12:34,097 YOU FELT THAT DRAWING 298 00:12:34,133 --> 00:12:36,103 ACCURATELY PORTRAYED HIM. 299 00:12:36,133 --> 00:12:38,103 - YES. - COULD YOU DRAW ME? 300 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:40,303 - ABSOLUTELY. - PLEASE GET MY GOOD SIDE. 301 00:12:43,867 --> 00:12:45,527 THAT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE ME. 302 00:12:45,567 --> 00:12:47,397 - I USUALLY DO LANDSCAPES. 303 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,103 - ARE YOU SURE THAT WAS A LEPRECHAUN 304 00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:50,373 AND NOT JUST A LITTLE PERSON? 305 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:51,630 - I'M POSITIVE. 306 00:12:51,667 --> 00:12:53,667 - 'CAUSE THEY LOOK EERILY SIMILAR. 307 00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:54,900 - THIS WAS A LEPRECHAUN. 308 00:12:54,933 --> 00:12:57,073 - I MET UP WITH SOMEONE I HOPED 309 00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:59,127 COULD SHED A LITTLE LIGHT ON THE MATTER. 310 00:13:01,533 --> 00:13:03,273 THAT'S GOTTA FEEL LIKE A TREE HOUSE TO YOU. 311 00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:05,570 - [sighs] LITTLE TALL. 312 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,300 - ARE YOU A LEPRECHAUN? - NO, I'M A LITTLE PERSON. 313 00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:09,933 - HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO ALABAMA? 314 00:13:09,967 --> 00:13:10,967 - YES. 315 00:13:11,067 --> 00:13:12,497 - AND HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A TREE? 316 00:13:12,533 --> 00:13:14,173 - I HAVEN'T CLIMBED A TREE SINCE I WAS A KID. 317 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,070 - SO YOU ADMIT YOU'VE BEEN IN TREES. 318 00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:18,270 - UH, YES. I GUESS SO. 319 00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:20,070 - WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A LEPRECHAUN 320 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,400 AND A LITTLE PERSON? 321 00:13:21,433 --> 00:13:23,103 - ONE'S FICTIONAL. ONE'S REAL. 322 00:13:23,133 --> 00:13:25,573 - WHAT OTHER STEREOTYPES DO "YOU PEOPLE" 323 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,130 WANT TO PUT TO REST? 324 00:13:27,167 --> 00:13:29,627 - WE DON'T MAKE SHOES OR BOOTS OR WHATEVER. 325 00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:30,627 - YOU DON'T MAKE SHOES OR BOOTS. 326 00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:32,067 - NOT A COBBLER. WELL, SOMEBODY-- 327 00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:33,800 - HOLD ON, LITTLE PEOPLE-- LITTLE PEOPLE CAN'T MAKE SHOES? 328 00:13:33,833 --> 00:13:34,873 - LITTLE PEOPLE CAN MAKE SHOES. 329 00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:36,200 THAT'S NOT THEIR EVERY JOB. - OKAY. 330 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:37,603 - THAT'S NOT--WHAT-- I'M TALKING ABOUT-- 331 00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:39,903 - SURE, THEY HAVE TO MAKE COOKIES AS WELL. 332 00:13:39,933 --> 00:13:42,103 - EH... - CAN LEPRECHAUNS FLY? 333 00:13:42,133 --> 00:13:43,503 - NO, I DON'T THINK THEY CAN. 334 00:13:43,533 --> 00:13:45,633 - YOU SEEM TO KNOW A LOT ABOUT LEPRECHAUNS 335 00:13:45,667 --> 00:13:47,127 ALL OF A SUDDEN. 336 00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:49,867 HOW DO YOU CATCH A LEPRECHAUN? - THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. 337 00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:51,570 - OH, WE'RE GOING TO FIND YOU. 338 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,070 WE'LL GET YOU SUITED UP. 339 00:13:53,067 --> 00:13:55,067 I'LL MEET YOU BACK HERE AROUND SUNDOWN. 340 00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:56,430 MAKE SURE YOU BRING THAT FLUTE. 341 00:13:56,467 --> 00:13:58,767 LOOK AT THIS. 342 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,900 OH, THAT'S SO PRETTY. 343 00:14:00,933 --> 00:14:03,433 YOU GUYS LIGHT YOUR CROSSES ON FIRE DOWN HERE. 344 00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:04,867 - YEAH, L-LET'S JUST KEEP MOVING. 345 00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:07,670 LET'S JUST KEEP GOING. - IS IT A HOLIDAY? 346 00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:09,270 THAT LOOKS NICE. 347 00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:10,970 YOU SAY YOU'VE SEEN HIM IN THIS TREE? 348 00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:12,727 - I'M POSITIVE HE'S IN THAT TREE. 349 00:14:12,767 --> 00:14:14,327 - ALL RIGHT. 350 00:14:14,367 --> 00:14:16,397 WANT SOME? - NO, I'M GOOD. 351 00:14:16,433 --> 00:14:18,073 - ALL RIGHT. PLAY THAT FLUTE. 352 00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,927 - [imitates high-pitched flute] 353 00:14:19,967 --> 00:14:21,427 - THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL INSTRUMENT. 354 00:14:21,467 --> 00:14:23,197 [dramatic music] 355 00:14:23,233 --> 00:14:24,833 - YOU KEEP PLAYING IT. I THINK I HEAR SOMETHING. 356 00:14:24,867 --> 00:14:26,467 - COULD BE A CRACKHEAD. 357 00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:29,470 * 358 00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:32,870 - HOLY [bleep]! 359 00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:34,600 NO! 360 00:14:34,633 --> 00:14:36,503 [thud] 361 00:14:36,533 --> 00:14:38,273 - WHY DID YOU SHOOT HIM? 362 00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:40,370 - MY BAD. 363 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:41,970 - YOU SON OF A BITCH. 364 00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:44,397 I KNEW YOU WERE A LEPRECHAUN. 365 00:14:44,433 --> 00:14:45,873 - AYE, DANNY BOY. 366 00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:47,570 AYE. 367 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,070 [coin chings] 368 00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:53,700 [twinkling] 369 00:14:53,733 --> 00:14:55,933 - EVERYONE WHO'S SEEN A DEAD LEPRECHAUN, 370 00:14:55,967 --> 00:14:57,597 SAY "YEAH"! 371 00:14:57,633 --> 00:14:59,503 all: YEAH! 372 00:14:59,533 --> 00:15:01,573 - WE GON' MISS YOU, MOTHER[bleep]. 373 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,630 [cheers and applause] 374 00:15:04,667 --> 00:15:08,127 I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE IN ALABAMA 375 00:15:08,167 --> 00:15:09,627 FOR BEING SO CORDIAL TO US, 376 00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:11,427 DESPITE ALL THE JOKES WE'VE MADE. 377 00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:13,597 I KNOW YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE WORD "CORDIAL" MEANS, 378 00:15:13,633 --> 00:15:16,833 BUT IT'S A COMPLIMENT, YOU BACKWARDS [bleep]. 379 00:15:16,867 --> 00:15:18,427 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, BUT FIRST, 380 00:15:18,467 --> 00:15:20,267 THAT CAR DIDN'T PAY HIS TOLL. 381 00:15:30,467 --> 00:15:33,427 [horn blares] 382 00:15:33,467 --> 00:15:36,397 [glass shatters] 383 00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:43,800 - ALL RIGHT, YEAH, I'VE GOT THE--I SWEAR. 384 00:15:43,833 --> 00:15:44,803 - DO YOU SWEAR...? - I SWEAR I'LL GIVE YOU MONEY. 385 00:15:44,833 --> 00:15:46,073 - IT'S ON VIDEO. IT'S ON. 386 00:15:46,067 --> 00:15:48,067 - ALL RIGHT. 387 00:15:48,067 --> 00:15:53,597 [indistinct chatter] 388 00:15:53,633 --> 00:15:55,203 - JUST RIGHT HERE? - YEAH. 389 00:15:55,233 --> 00:15:56,333 - OH, MY GOD. 390 00:15:56,367 --> 00:15:57,927 OH, DUDE. 391 00:15:57,967 --> 00:15:59,197 [laughter] 392 00:15:59,233 --> 00:16:02,603 - COME ON, MAN. COME ON, MAN. 393 00:16:02,633 --> 00:16:06,133 - OH, MY GOD. 394 00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:08,497 [indistinct chatter] 395 00:16:08,533 --> 00:16:10,533 [laughter] 396 00:16:10,567 --> 00:16:12,727 - OKAY, THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE. 397 00:16:12,767 --> 00:16:15,067 WE'VE REACHED A NEW LOW, EVEN FOR ME. 398 00:16:15,067 --> 00:16:16,967 THIS IS WHAT YOU KIDS ARE INTO-- 399 00:16:17,067 --> 00:16:19,427 GRABBING POOP OUT OF THE TOILET? 400 00:16:19,467 --> 00:16:22,167 I HOPE THAT'S HIS. 401 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,430 OR THAT WOULD REALLY BE DISGUSTING. 402 00:16:24,467 --> 00:16:26,597 YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES. 403 00:16:26,633 --> 00:16:29,673 THAT BEING SAID, I CANNOT WAIT TO NA-NA NA-BOO-BOO, 404 00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:31,100 STICK MY HAND IN DOO-DOO. 405 00:16:31,133 --> 00:16:33,333 ALL RIGHT, GIRLS, GET IN HERE. 406 00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:38,067 THIS IS GOING TO BE SO FUN. 407 00:16:38,067 --> 00:16:40,167 YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. 408 00:16:42,433 --> 00:16:43,833 - GOD, THAT'S GROSS. 409 00:16:43,867 --> 00:16:46,097 - THAT IS SICK. 410 00:16:46,133 --> 00:16:48,873 - UH, NO, IT'S NOT. IT'S ACTUALLY HEALTHY. 411 00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,500 NOW, LET'S GO. 412 00:16:50,533 --> 00:16:53,073 - FINE. 413 00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:01,703 - THAT A GIRL. 414 00:17:01,733 --> 00:17:05,273 - IT'S STILL WARM. 415 00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:08,070 - WHAT THE-- OH! 416 00:17:08,100 --> 00:17:09,770 - WHAT? 417 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,500 - WHAT THE [bleep]? 418 00:17:11,533 --> 00:17:14,733 YOU SICK [bleep, bleep, bleep]. 419 00:17:19,767 --> 00:17:21,227 TWO GIRLS, ONE BOWL. 420 00:17:21,267 --> 00:17:23,127 WE'RE GOING TO BE RICH! 421 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,127 BY THE WAY, THAT'S THE SECOND BIGGEST TURD 422 00:17:25,167 --> 00:17:27,467 OUR BLOGGER CARLY HAS EVER EATEN. 423 00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:29,700 DON'T FORGET TO GO TO OUR BLOG AND UPLOAD A CLIP 424 00:17:29,733 --> 00:17:31,273 FOR A CHANCE TO BE OUR VIEWER VIDEO. 425 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,630 THIS WEEK'S WINNER COMES TO US 426 00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:33,867 FROM RAZMIG.NET. 427 00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:37,330 - YOU'RE A REAL [bleep] SCUMBAG. 428 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:41,230 WELL, MY FRIEND... 429 00:17:41,267 --> 00:17:43,927 NOW YOU'RE [bleep] DEAD. 430 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,303 CAN YOU STOP DOING THAT? 431 00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:51,833 OKAY. HEY. 432 00:17:54,267 --> 00:17:55,797 [dramatic notes] 433 00:17:55,833 --> 00:17:57,503 - THAT'S IT. I'M GETTING A BAG. 434 00:18:00,967 --> 00:18:05,327 - OH, THAT'S WHY CASEY ANTHONY USED DUCT TAPE. 435 00:18:05,367 --> 00:18:06,567 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE 436 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,730 SPORTS SHOW WITH NORM MACDONALD. 437 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:24,130 - WELCOME BACK. 438 00:18:24,167 --> 00:18:26,727 THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE OF EXPOSED ARMS, 439 00:18:26,767 --> 00:18:29,267 SO GET AN EYEFUL WHILE YOU STILL CAN, FELLAS. 440 00:18:31,667 --> 00:18:34,067 THE SHOW WILL BE BACK IN A COUPLE WEEKS, 441 00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:36,067 BUT I WILL STILL ENTERTAIN YOU ON TOUR 442 00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:37,400 AND ON TWITTER. 443 00:18:37,433 --> 00:18:40,273 I'D LIKE TO BE THE FIRST TO HAVE 40 MILLION FOLLOWERS 444 00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:41,730 BEFORE I RETURN. 445 00:18:41,767 --> 00:18:43,627 RETWEET. 446 00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:46,667 ALSO, THE BLOG WILL BE UPDATED WHILE WE'RE AWAY, 447 00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:50,400 IF CARLY HAS TIME IN BETWEEN EATING [bleep]. 448 00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:52,173 ALL SUMMER LONG, WE'VE BEEN ASKING YOU 449 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,570 TO SUBMIT ENTRIES FOR OUR COLLEGE CAMPUS INVASION, 450 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,370 AND WE FINALLY HAVE A WINNER. 451 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,600 I KNOW YOU ALL WORKED REALLY HARD ON YOUR VIDEOS, 452 00:18:58,633 --> 00:19:00,803 BUT THEY CAME ACROSS DESPERATE. 453 00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:03,333 SO WE PICKED A SCHOOL THAT DIDN'T EVEN SEND ONE IN. 454 00:19:03,367 --> 00:19:06,067 WE WILL BE GOING TO ARIZONA STATE UNIVERSITY. 455 00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:07,300 YEAH. 456 00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:08,933 THAT CAMPUS IS FULL OF HOTTIES. 457 00:19:08,967 --> 00:19:11,727 AND THE FACT THAT THEY COULD CARE LESS ABOUT OUR SHOW 458 00:19:11,767 --> 00:19:13,097 DRIVES US CRAZY. 459 00:19:13,133 --> 00:19:14,473 SO GET READY, SUN DEVILS. 460 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:16,330 I HEAR ARIZONA IN EARLY SEPTEMBER 461 00:19:16,367 --> 00:19:17,597 IS JUST BEAUTIFUL. 462 00:19:17,633 --> 00:19:20,833 THAT'S WHEN THE CACTI START CHANGING COLORS. 463 00:19:20,867 --> 00:19:22,127 NOW, BEFORE WE GO, 464 00:19:22,167 --> 00:19:24,067 I THOUGHT I SHOULD LEAVE YOU WITH ONE LAST VIDEO. 465 00:19:24,067 --> 00:19:25,897 UNFORTUNATELY, IT'S TOO GRAPHIC, 466 00:19:25,933 --> 00:19:28,603 AND COMEDY CENTRAL WON'T LET ME SHOW YOU THE FIRST HALF. 467 00:19:28,633 --> 00:19:30,903 HERE'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW TO GET YOU UP TO SPEED. 468 00:19:30,933 --> 00:19:33,533 IT'S BEHIND-THE-SCENES FOOTAGE FROM A PORNO SHOOT. 469 00:19:33,567 --> 00:19:35,697 AND A WELL-ENDOWED GENTLEMAN 470 00:19:35,733 --> 00:19:38,073 HAS EMPTIED HIS RICH, FLAVORFUL ESSENCE 471 00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:40,130 INTO, OF ALL PLACES, 472 00:19:40,167 --> 00:19:42,627 AN EAGER YOUNG STARLET'S YAPPER, 473 00:19:42,667 --> 00:19:46,127 WHICH SEEMS TO HAVE UPSET HER STOMACH. 474 00:19:46,167 --> 00:19:47,927 MAKE SURE YOU PAY ATTENTION, 475 00:19:47,967 --> 00:19:51,227 BECAUSE THERE'S A SURPRISE TWIST ENDING. 476 00:19:51,267 --> 00:19:53,397 - I'M SORRY. 477 00:19:53,433 --> 00:19:54,773 I'M SORRY. 478 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:57,570 - [laughing] OKAY. WAIT, WAIT. 479 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,900 [laughing] WAIT, OKAY. 480 00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:01,597 OH! - OH! 481 00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:03,373 - SORRY. - OH, HONEY, I LOVE YOU. 482 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:04,670 [laughing] IT'S--IT'S OKAY. 483 00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:08,300 IT'S OKAY. 484 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:11,273 - [coughs] 485 00:20:11,300 --> 00:20:13,270 [gasps] 486 00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:14,370 I'M REALLY SORRY. 487 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,330 - HONEY, IT'S OKAY. 488 00:20:16,367 --> 00:20:17,967 - YOU DON'T MEAN IT. I SWEAR YOU DON'T. 489 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,300 - WE KNOW YOU DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE. 490 00:20:19,333 --> 00:20:20,433 - [sighs] 491 00:20:20,467 --> 00:20:21,427 I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO. 492 00:20:21,467 --> 00:20:22,897 LOOK AT ALL THIS MESS. 493 00:20:22,933 --> 00:20:26,933 [coughs, retches] 494 00:20:29,167 --> 00:20:30,197 - WHAT'D YOU EAT? 495 00:20:30,233 --> 00:20:31,633 - WHAT DID YOU EAT? 496 00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:34,527 - I'M PREGNANT. 497 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,567 [cheers and applause] 498 00:20:41,833 --> 00:20:44,073 - ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR SUMMER. 499 00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:46,470 GOOD NIGHT. 500 00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:50,500 Captioning by Morgan at CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 501 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,100 - I GIVE YOU PERMISSION-- - STATE YOUR FULL NAME. 502 00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:01,333 - DANIEL, I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO GRAB MY ASS. 503 00:21:01,367 --> 00:21:02,697 - WHAT'S YOUR FULL NAME? - I, RACHEL LIND, 504 00:21:02,733 --> 00:21:04,073 RACHEL CHRISTINE LIND... 505 00:21:04,067 --> 00:21:06,467 - GIVE...DANIEL TOSH... - GIVE YOU, DANIEL TOSH... 506 00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:07,770 both: FULL PERMISSION... 507 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,270 - TO REALLY GET A HEALTHY GRAB... 508 00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:12,070 - TO REALLY GET A HEALTHY GRAB... 509 00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:14,300 - OF MY SWEET... - OF MY... 510 00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:15,973 both: SWEET... - JUICY... 511 00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:17,327 - JUICY... - PEACH. [laughing] 512 00:21:17,367 --> 00:21:19,297 - ASS. - ASS. 513 00:21:19,333 --> 00:21:21,903 - THAT WAS AMAZING. [laughter] 514 00:21:21,933 --> 00:21:23,633 - 1 MISSISSIPPI, 515 00:21:23,667 --> 00:21:27,197 2 MISSISSIPPI, 3 MISSISSIPPI... 36186

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