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1
00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:05,672
rock music
2
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,769
[woman] All right,
now you take the needle,
3
00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:22,313
and you scoop the loop.
4
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,607
All right,
then you pull it through.
5
00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:25,984
-Ow, fuck!
-[woman] Pull it tight.
6
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,652
When the hell does this
turn into a pillow?
7
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,320
[Carl clears throat]
What are you doing?
8
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:30,739
[Debbie] Knitting.
9
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:32,782
You making
another self-sculpture?
10
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:34,576
[scoffs]
Looks just like you.
11
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:36,327
Fuck off.
12
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:39,080
-What, another weed bread?
-Yeah, makes some good money.
13
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:41,374
Well, there goes
my pandemic girlfriend.
14
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,751
You have a girlfriend?
15
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,878
Had.
Sasha just broke up with me.
16
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,422
-Sasha?
-[camera shutter clicking]
17
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:50,050
I even changed my name
to "Liam Rodenstein."
18
00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:52,093
Thought if being a Black Jew
worked for Drake,
19
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,178
it might work for me.
20
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:55,221
-[Carl] It didn't?
-Almost.
21
00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:57,432
Till she found out
I'm a Gallagher.
22
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:58,975
What's going on?
23
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,727
Frank, drunk,
looking for a bed.
24
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,937
-Who the hell let him?
-Debbie?
25
00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:04,397
Why can't he sleep
out on the porch?
26
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,356
[Carl] It's warm enough.
27
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,817
[Frank] I want my bed back!
28
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:08,902
Oh, hell no!
29
00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:12,155
Morning, Frank.
30
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,782
This is my house!
31
00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:16,076
It's okay, Daddy.
You can sleep in my room.
32
00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:18,995
-[giggles]
-Debbie stole a baby.
33
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,830
-Why?
-It's Debbie.
34
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,290
Why would you steal
a little boy
35
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,833
and dress him
like a little girl?
36
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:26,086
You took away Aunt Ginger.
37
00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:27,128
Who is Aunt Ginger?
38
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:29,089
[Fiona] Social Security
wants to talk to Ginger,
39
00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:31,341
and he was too lazy
to go get the real one.
40
00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:33,051
-She's dead.
-No!
41
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,219
[Lip] Debs, you never met her.
42
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,137
[Debbie] And now I never will.
43
00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:37,889
-I'm in mourning.
-When did she die?
44
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,308
Twelve years ago.
45
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:43,144
You've been cashing her checks.
That's a felony.
46
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:44,604
-What are we gonna do now?
-Well...
47
00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,731
-I like that one.
-Too lucid.
48
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,066
[whispered] What about her?
49
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,277
Everything is just
the way I remember it.
50
00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:00,161
-She was my friend.
-Why did you take the boy?
51
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:01,746
He was crying,
and nobody cared.
52
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,206
-So I took him.
-How'd you get him out?
53
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,959
-I waved a Snickers bar at him.
-[sighs]
54
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,962
Dear Lord, thank you for this
food that we're about to eat,
55
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:10,713
and please make
my brother Clayton
56
00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:13,299
burn in hell for all eternity
when the time comes.
57
00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:14,509
Amen.
58
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:15,927
[all] Amen.
59
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,345
upbeat music
60
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:20,932
Liam, if you want a Popsicle,
show me your hands.
61
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,559
Hands off your package,
or no treat!
62
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,686
-I need my own room.
-Carl, quit it.
63
00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:27,272
-I'm gonna be a woman soon.
-Enough.
64
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:28,523
I can't be in the same room
65
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,525
where Liam is constantly
masturbating.
66
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,485
It's not masturbating
if nothing comes out.
67
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:34,612
Please, let me
catch my breath
68
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,614
-Shh.
-It's 1:00 a.m.
69
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,533
Is that our Halloween candy?
70
00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,743
-Movie night.
-We have school in the morning.
71
00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:43,496
-Paranormal Activity 3.
-Right?
72
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,331
-My buddy shot this at the AMC.
73
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:46,457
Okay please
74
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:49,002
-It's rated R.
-For "really fucking scary."
75
00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:50,420
So sit there and learn.
76
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:52,213
-Whoa!
-[all screaming]
77
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,048
-Get him in the coffin.
-[Veronica] Watch your head.
78
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,134
Looks dead.
Hey, Carl, more ice.
79
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,927
-Got it.
-Sorry for your loss.
80
00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:01,306
-It was a shock.
-[sobbing]
81
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:02,974
I know you're faking it.
Come on!
82
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,101
What's the matter with you?
Look at him, he's dead.
83
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:07,353
-And you'll be going?
-Soon as he's in the ground.
84
00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:09,564
-[glass shatters]
-[car alarm blares]
85
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,524
We need something to put
in the coffin.
86
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,153
Okay.
87
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,529
[Fiona] Ready?
88
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:17,697
Lift.
89
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:20,158
Wait, she broke up with you
because you're a Gallagher?
90
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,911
Yeah, says we're all crazy.
91
00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:24,078
Fuck that.
I'll fucking kill her.
92
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,038
-Are you in?
-I'm in.
93
00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:26,623
We can inject the vid
into this bread.
94
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:29,000
Leave it on her front steps.
She'll never see it coming.
95
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,376
I don't think that's
how that works.
96
00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:32,337
What are you,
some kind of doctor?
97
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:34,255
You're both crazy.
98
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:35,548
Tough break.
99
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,133
Fuck you.
He said both of us.
100
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,427
-I'm not crazy!
-Huh.
101
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:40,762
[groaning]
102
00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:41,888
[screaming]
103
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,681
-[laughing]
-[screaming]
104
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,808
Watering the plants.
Ha!
105
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,060
[Carl] I'm done with the flyer.
106
00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,937
It's "fundraiser,"
not "fun razor."
107
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:51,064
Want to make them think
someone's getting cut.
108
00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:51,898
[imitates cutting sound]
109
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,274
No, no, no, no, no, no.
110
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:55,401
The bat is for killing,
not for taking to school.
111
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:58,696
[Debbie] Didn't Fiona tell you
to stop electrocuting dolls?
112
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,782
[Carl] They have to pay
for their sins.
113
00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:02,575
I want to go to the forest
and kill something.
114
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:05,161
The kids have been making
papier-mâché sculptures.
115
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,579
This is Carl's.
116
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,706
[Monroe] A papier-mâché
pile of shit.
117
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:11,292
Who in the hell is raising
this degenerate?
118
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:12,460
[Frank]
You should be coloring me
119
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:13,920
a thank-you note of gratitude
120
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:15,296
that the half of you
that came from me
121
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,839
wasn't spooged
on your mother's neck,
122
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:19,092
but instead was guided
by yours truly
123
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,594
to get up inside of her
to start the life of you.
124
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:24,138
So walk and talk
with gratitude, son.
125
00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,307
[chuckles]
I was just kidding.
126
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:27,934
-[loud whoosh]
-[gasps]
127
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,686
-How's your head?
-Little dizzy.
128
00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,729
You're fine.
Go eat some breakfast.
129
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,064
Don't set the house on fire.
130
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,066
Just kidding.
131
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,109
[mouths words]
132
00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:39,112
Yo, yo, yo, Destructo,
that's my toaster!
133
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,119
What?
134
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:50,665
Oh, shit!
135
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:51,457
Where'd Carl go?
136
00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:54,168
-Ninja!
-Carl, no!
137
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:55,586
Ah!
138
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,132
-No!
-[Lip] Shit!
139
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:01,092
[Fiona] Shit, Carl.
140
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,427
That actually kinda worked.
141
00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:11,060
[emergency sirens approaching]
142
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:14,147
-It's his first offense.
-His first criminal offense.
143
00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:16,899
He's got double digit
suspensions at school.
144
00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:18,818
[Carl]
If you pick on asshead again,
145
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,029
I'm gonna chew your nuts off
with my teeth.
146
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:22,655
Heard you talking about
my little brother Liam
147
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:23,573
on the bus this morning.
148
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:25,908
You mean
your retarded brother?
149
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:28,411
[lawyer] He sent three kids
home with concussions,
150
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,246
two with busted eardrums...
151
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:31,456
I think you broke my nose.
152
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:33,541
[lawyer] ...and one
with a ruptured testicle.
153
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,668
It was gym.
Decided to play kickball.
154
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:38,588
-What if he shows remorse?
-What's that?
155
00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:40,882
-It means you say you're sorry.
-I'm not.
156
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:43,134
-Lie.
-[bird squawks]
157
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,635
Shot a duck.
158
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:46,929
That's no duck.
That's a bald eagle.
159
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:49,807
rock music
160
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:01,152
Ahhhh!
161
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:04,113
Okay, I guess we are
a little crazy.
162
00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:07,408
Yeah, well, can you blame us?
Look at our parents.
163
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:08,618
Monica.
164
00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,453
[high-pitched]
You wanna go shopping?
165
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,955
Oh, pretty girls' day out!
166
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,791
[normal voice]
Come on, let's go. Whoa!
167
00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:16,501
I got it.
[chuckles]
168
00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:19,420
[Frank] ...why anyone
would go to the zoo sober.
169
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:22,423
Hey, you having fun
back there?
170
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:23,466
[chuckles]
171
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,426
Ah, Debbie.
172
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:26,469
Hi, honey.
173
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:27,595
Debs, now.
174
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,555
Debs, you wanna come play?
175
00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:31,057
-Yeah.
-No.
176
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,433
Monica's gotta go.
177
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,310
She's your mother, Fi.
178
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,770
You only get one.
179
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:38,356
It's like watching a hurricane
head for shore.
180
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,274
Good morning, sweetheart.
181
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:41,401
Mom.
182
00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:43,736
We don't have any money.
183
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:44,612
Oh, Liam!
184
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:48,032
Look at you,
my little brown bear.
185
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,992
Oh, look how big you are.
186
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:53,079
-How long is she staying?
-Only forever and a day.
187
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:56,124
I think this
must be the place.
188
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,875
Can I get out?
It's hot in here.
189
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,877
-No.
-Ow!
190
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:00,920
Frank.
191
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,088
I came to get you out.
192
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,674
I told you,
I don't want out.
193
00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:06,217
[Jill] Stop.
194
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,219
Did you come?
195
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,971
This is Jill.
196
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:13,141
Jill, this is my husband,
Frank.
197
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:15,268
[laughs]
198
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:17,395
Oops.
199
00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:21,441
Mom?
200
00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:24,318
Come on, you and me.
We can take the new car.
201
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,862
Can't get enough
Carl and Mommy time.
202
00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:27,113
Do you need some new clothes?
203
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,698
We could stop at JCPenney.
204
00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:29,949
Hm.
I can drive.
205
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,617
No.
Do you have a license?
206
00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:33,619
Quick, quick, Carl,
switch places.
207
00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:35,455
Come on.
208
00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:36,914
Hi.
209
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,333
You're supposed to be
wearing your seatbelt.
210
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:42,462
Shit, Carl,
I shrunk your jersey.
211
00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:45,465
-I thought you were Carl.
-This is Little Hank.
212
00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,425
-That's your mom?
-[Monica] Hey, handsome.
213
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,886
Made some cookies.
They're on the table.
214
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,095
[mouths words]
215
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,930
[tires screeching]
216
00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:58,603
I love you, Debbie!
217
00:07:58,644 --> 00:07:59,812
Yeah, and Frank.
218
00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:01,981
Who was around just enough
to fuck us up.
219
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:05,193
Cancer?
220
00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:06,861
rock music
221
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,863
How did I get cancer?
222
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,990
You musta caught it
from Grammy, son.
223
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:13,701
If she had known that she
had the contagious kind,
224
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,411
I don't think she would've
spent so much time with you
225
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,330
in the basement, cooking meth.
226
00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:18,581
Excuse me.
227
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,875
My grandmother's
having an allergy attack,
228
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,585
and I need to buy her
some SUDAFED,
229
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:25,379
but I'm under 18, and her
driver's license was revoked.
230
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,632
Can you please
buy it for her?
231
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:28,633
You making meth?
232
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:31,052
Free rock when we're
up and running.
233
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,930
Am I going to die?
234
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,766
rock music
235
00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:38,017
I hope not.
236
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,853
But right now,
we have to fight
237
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,897
and fight hard.
238
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:46,359
You ready to fight
with me, Carl?
239
00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,571
Why do we have to shave it?
240
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,823
Didn't you ever see
any shows about cancer?
241
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,368
Cancer people are always bald.
242
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:02,708
Jeez, I'm gonna look
like a penis.
243
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,128
I'll get you a hat.
244
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,297
-I'll get you a hat.
-[clippers buzz]
245
00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:09,215
[laughter]
246
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,803
This is nice,
the two of us just hanging out,
247
00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:14,971
getting to know each other.
248
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:16,472
We should do this more often.
249
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,432
Wanna snort the next batch?
250
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:19,350
No.
251
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,310
My foster gays
have a lot of nice stuff.
252
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:24,355
Are you suggesting what
I think you're suggesting?
253
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,523
iPods, computers.
254
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,149
-How often they there?
-They work weekends.
255
00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:29,610
-Can you pick a lock?
-I have their security code.
256
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,532
That's all right.
257
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,409
Are you good with fractions?
258
00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:37,535
Fractions of what?
259
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,537
Like, if you have 1/16
of an ounce of something,
260
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,455
how many grams would that be?
261
00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:43,874
-Are you dealing drugs?
-No.
262
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,126
Basic overview.
263
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:49,255
You got flaps, half G's, G's,
teeners, 8-balls, and ounces.
264
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:52,300
An ounce is 28 grams,
an 8-ball is 3.54,
265
00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:56,095
and a teener is 1.77,
but the dealers round down.
266
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:59,015
So they pocket the extra .35.
You following?
267
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:00,433
I might need
to write this down.
268
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,018
-Frank.
-Yes, son?
269
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:05,563
Why would a dude put his penis
in another dude's mouth?
270
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,149
Sometimes men discover
things about themselves,
271
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:11,986
like they prefer male genitalia
to female genitalia.
272
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,655
So some guys
like to lick wieners?
273
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,782
Well, I'm sure at first
they're attracted
274
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,326
to each other's build,
275
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:20,369
and once a connection
gets made,
276
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,455
then the wieners get licked.
277
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:23,706
What are you doing?
278
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,458
Making a little
easy summer moolah,
279
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:26,417
the Gallagher way.
280
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,210
-[Debbie] Where's Liam?
-In the car.
281
00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:29,253
Did you crack a window?
282
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,672
Left the engine running
for the AC.
283
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,258
You left a toddler
in a running car
284
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,135
in this neighborhood?
285
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:39,472
Stay.
Stay down.
286
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:41,974
Stay down!
287
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,771
What about Fiona?
She wasn't so bad.
288
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,105
Who?
289
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,233
-[laughter]
-Oh!
290
00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:54,028
-Yeah!
-Come on, give me that arm.
291
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,988
Liam's breaking it down.
292
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,782
Must be nice
not to own a home
293
00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:59,158
and have to deal
with this stuff.
294
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,702
Yeah, it gives me more time
to buy drugs
295
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,037
and fence stolen goods.
296
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,664
[Lip] Is something burning?
You smell that?
297
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,165
Oh, shit.
Shit!
298
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,583
-Shit!
-[laughs]
299
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:10,336
-[smoke alarm blares]
-Fuck, burn the house down.
300
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:11,837
Okay, burn the food, too.
301
00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:13,297
I'm going through
something here.
302
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,465
Yeah, looks like
you went through
303
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,634
about five beverages
in an hour, Fiona.
304
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,802
Have another one.
305
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:20,179
Hey, Hector, is there
any way that you could--
306
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,222
I can't this time, Fiona.
307
00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:23,015
It's not the first time
we got shut off.
308
00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:23,933
Won't be the last.
309
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:24,892
Is there any way
that you could
310
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,102
scrape the money together
today?
311
00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:26,936
We have it.
312
00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:29,105
She just forgot to pay it.
313
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:32,358
[cheering]
314
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,235
[Debbie] Fiona!
315
00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:35,986
Fiona!
316
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,738
-Oh, shit.
-[Debbie] What's on his face?
317
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:38,823
[Fiona] Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
318
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,449
-Step back.
-Oh, my God.
319
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:41,492
Oh, my God.
320
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,786
Ow! Ow!
Get off me!
321
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,038
-You are going to that clinic!
-You're hurting me!
322
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,289
-Ow!
-Stop it!
323
00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:50,418
Help, my sister's trying
to force me to get an abortion!
324
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:51,961
Fiona!
325
00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:52,837
Get off her!
326
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:56,632
No, we are going
to that fucking clinic!
327
00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:58,676
[both panting]
328
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,845
Fucking Gallaghers.
329
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,181
We never stood a chance.
330
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:06,434
Jeez, no wonder why Liam's
so bummed out.
331
00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:08,227
You're the one
saying we're crazy.
332
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:09,395
Why are you coming at me?
333
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:12,148
rock music
334
00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:14,859
I will stab you
until you bleed to death
335
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:15,860
if you don't quit it out.
336
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,987
We gotta empty
the pool out, Conrad.
337
00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:19,238
You guys gotta
get out of here.
338
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,699
Go screw this end of the hose
into Tony's spigot
339
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,033
so we can siphon the water out.
340
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:25,286
Or we could just
do it this way.
341
00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:26,829
Carl!
342
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,539
I'll patch it up next summer.
343
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,040
-[Carl] See ya.
-[sighs]
344
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,418
Good luck getting laid smelling
like fried dough all day.
345
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,378
You always smell like that.
What's your excuse?
346
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,297
-Bitches and hormones.
-[Debbie gasps]
347
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:38,048
-Ha.
-[belches]
348
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,008
[Liam belches]
349
00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:40,509
Ew, don't learn
from him, Liam.
350
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,428
He's disgusting.
351
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,679
[Lip] What's this?
352
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:44,930
[Carl] Creepy art she's making
353
00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:46,140
'cause her boyfriend
dumped her.
354
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,933
I'm expressing myself
creatively.
355
00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:49,810
You're counting underarm hair
with a mirror.
356
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,061
Check it out,
four new ones.
357
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:52,271
Get off of me!
358
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:53,314
[Fiona]
Who are you texting, Debs?
359
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:54,398
Her boyfriend.
[smacks lips]
360
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,441
Shut up, Carl.
361
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,610
Why do guys care so much
about sex?
362
00:12:57,651 --> 00:12:59,069
Because it feels awesome.
363
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,070
Like you would know.
364
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,114
If my hand is anything
like the real thing,
365
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,282
it's off the chain.
366
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,283
Shut up, zit head.
367
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,452
At least I got zits,
no-pubes girl.
368
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,578
[Fiona] Okay, enough.
369
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,205
I plan to bang
as many chicks as I can
370
00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:11,248
and get so good at it
they even pay me to do it.
371
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,876
Ha, yeah right.
You're in a wheelchair.
372
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,127
Chicks dig wheelchairs.
373
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,546
I swear to God, if you lose
your virginity before I do,
374
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:20,508
I'll stab you to death
in your sleep.
375
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,511
We should go talk to him.
376
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:26,639
You don't tell me to go.
I tell you to go.
377
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,308
[Debbie] Let's go.
378
00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:34,939
Liam, you don't need
a COVID girlfriend.
379
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,649
[Carl] You don't even need
a girlfriend.
380
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:39,068
They're complicated.
381
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,195
-[tires screech]
-Shit.
382
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:42,446
Gallagher!
383
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,990
[Carl]
What are you doing here?
384
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:46,992
[groans]
Let me go.
385
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:49,119
-Are you law enforcement?
-Friend.
386
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:50,412
Let me go, Kelly.
387
00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:51,997
Oh, you're Kelly?
388
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,836
Now that's a woman.
389
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:57,837
So what do you wanna do?
390
00:13:57,878 --> 00:13:59,588
I can get my hands
on some firecrackers.
391
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,048
-Cool.
-It's fake.
392
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,758
-Looks real!
-Empty the register!
393
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,844
Yeah, I'm just gonna
hand over my money
394
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:06,595
to the Lollipop Guild.
395
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,347
Whoa, shit!
396
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:09,765
You said it was fake!
397
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:12,017
Hey, what's shaking, cupcake?
398
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:13,978
Ew, what's that stink?
399
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:16,063
Smells like animal butt
and fireplace.
400
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,481
Hey girl, I'm Carl.
401
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,900
I'll just call you my angel.
402
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,944
That, ladies?
That's the smell of a real man.
403
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,154
I always got room
for my number one boo thang.
404
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,698
Do you have
a straight-up brain injury?
405
00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:27,116
You can ride my joint
if you want.
406
00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:29,034
Go away, Muppet.
407
00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:30,703
But I'm a cripple.
408
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,542
[alarm blares]
409
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,670
Grab those cupcakes
and get chocolate milk.
410
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:43,048
-How many cartons?
-As much as you can carry.
411
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,842
You're fun,
you know that?
412
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,343
Yeah, you too.
413
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:53,183
You're an officer and
a gentleman, Carl Gallagher.
414
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:55,519
Only decent thing
is your brother.
415
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,271
Next.
416
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,356
We call him Carl-lingus.
417
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,483
I'm going back for seconds.
418
00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:03,986
-Are you a virgin?
-[scoffs] Hell no.
419
00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:05,446
-I am.
-Yeah, me too.
420
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,407
I was thinking
maybe you and me...
421
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:10,910
-48 condoms?
-In 32 hours.
422
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:12,453
You up for the challenge,
Gallagher?
423
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:13,913
Uh, yeah.
424
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:15,623
Then prove it, pussy.
425
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:18,125
-30 seconds or less?
-No problem.
426
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:20,711
What the hell?
427
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,713
How stupid do you think
I am, Carl?
428
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,049
[Carl] No, no!
429
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,635
You lying piece of shit!
[groans]
430
00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:28,969
Ow, ow, ow.
431
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,055
Getting your ass kicked
by a girl again, Carl?
432
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:33,265
-Is Dom here?
-Nope.
433
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:34,308
Wh--she's right there.
434
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,559
Dad found out
that I was skipping
435
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:37,019
softball camp
to hang out with you.
436
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,562
He'll kill you
if he finds you here.
437
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,272
He only has one working limb.
438
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,983
That doesn't scare me.
439
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:45,444
I'ma give you
a ten-second head start.
440
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:46,779
You better run, boy.
441
00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:48,614
Go!
Ten, nine...
442
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,240
[Carl] I won't stop seeing you!
443
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:51,992
-Dom, I won't stop seeing you!
-Eight.
444
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:52,993
I always go down on you,
445
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,495
but you don't ever
go down on me.
446
00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:56,413
Your thing has all this
extra skin,
447
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:57,456
and it kinda freaks me out.
448
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:58,999
I can do it, but I don't
recommend it.
449
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,834
I'd suggest you find
another girl.
450
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:01,877
I don't want another girl.
451
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:04,254
I cut the tip of my dick
off for you.
452
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:05,422
Carl, meet shithead.
453
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,049
Carl, the dude
who trimmed his dick?
454
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:09,301
-You're not circumcised?
-Hell no.
455
00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:10,970
I don't mind it anymore.
456
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:13,222
You know she's got
gonorrhea, right?
457
00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:15,099
No one is ever gonna love you
458
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:17,184
as hard as I do,
Carl Gallagher, no one.
459
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,520
-Is that your blood?
-Yeah, it's your blood now.
460
00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:21,855
You possess me,
and vice versa.
461
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:23,857
Here, come here.
462
00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:25,818
I'll try not to nick
an artery.
463
00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:28,237
Kas, where you at?
464
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:31,532
[choking]
465
00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:34,201
Kas.
466
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,662
[gasping]
467
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,163
You really do love me.
468
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:43,210
I will never be okay
with being away from you, bae!
469
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,004
Never!
470
00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:48,632
Carl!
471
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,551
Carl, get off the bus!
472
00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:52,011
Get off the bus, Carl!
473
00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:54,972
Carl!
Carl, come back!
474
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,598
I love you!
475
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,476
Only two more days
until the end of school.
476
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,812
Mrs. Gallagher's
waiting for you.
477
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:04,231
-[soldiers chanting]
-I'm doing my Kegels.
478
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:05,691
I love you!
479
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,151
She's still at it.
480
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,527
[Kassidi]
Carl, Carl, he's my man!
481
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,030
If he can't fuck me,
no one can!
482
00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,489
What are you doing?
483
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,700
My friend Janice said
this is what you do
484
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:15,826
when a condom breaks.
485
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:20,122
Plan B, aisle two.
Monistat, aisle three.
486
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,249
So are you done being a pussy
487
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:25,502
and ready to get back to being
the man that I love?
488
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,254
What?
489
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,839
Damn, you're dense.
490
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:32,593
[man]
Carl Francis Hashish Gallagher.
491
00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,803
Yo, Gallagher!
492
00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:36,096
You're a disgrace, Gallagher.
493
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,389
I never want to see
your face again,
494
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:40,142
not on my campus and not ever
in my army.
495
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:43,896
Yeah, baby!
Yeah!
496
00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:45,647
Carl, let's go.
497
00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:49,068
Fuck the tent.
We're having sex in my room.
498
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,407
[Kelly] Carl!
499
00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,118
I better go.
500
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,037
Yeah, I guess you better.
501
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,372
If she's not gonna date you
because of your last name,
502
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,124
just find someone else
who will.
503
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,793
I don't want just someone.
504
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:07,294
Yeah, well, you don't
wanna be lonely.
505
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,046
Just find someone
who makes you laugh.
506
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,255
Or who's easy.
507
00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:11,256
No.
508
00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:14,301
Find someone who
appreciates you for you.
509
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,220
I mean, I've been in, like,
ten relationships,
510
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:19,014
and they've all been
with wonderful people.
511
00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:22,059
Does this make you...cray?
512
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,060
Uh-um...
513
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,478
I really like him,
and I think it's time
514
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,979
we take it
to the next level.
515
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,481
Mm, how old are you now?
516
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:28,315
Thirteen.
517
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,691
What took you so long?
518
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:31,443
Ha, this is why I came to you.
519
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,070
Little Hank?
What does he like?
520
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,988
I don't know, stuff.
Why?
521
00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:36,198
He doesn't even notice me.
522
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,866
Are you sure you're sending
strong enough signals?
523
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:38,784
[Debbie] I've tried.
524
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,577
-Hi.
-Hi.
525
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:41,995
[Kev] Guys are pretty dumb.
526
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,997
Sometimes you have to put
something shiny in the window
527
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:44,957
to get 'em in the store.
528
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:45,874
What are you doing?
529
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,417
I'm sending stronger signals.
530
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:49,461
-There.
-This will get his attention.
531
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:50,796
Who's your friend?
532
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,256
Think I may become a nun.
533
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:54,174
Nuns don't have sex, right?
534
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:55,968
You look too pretty
to be a nun.
535
00:18:57,886 --> 00:18:59,179
What do you actually do?
536
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:00,472
I mean, I've seen porn,
537
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,599
but I'm not sure I understand
all the technicalities.
538
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:05,018
Show me your seductions face.
539
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:06,562
What are you doing
wearing my top?
540
00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:08,272
Pheromones.
I'm borrowing them.
541
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:09,148
Pheromones?
542
00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:10,983
It's the thing boys like
about you.
543
00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:12,818
-You mean tits?
-Holy shit.
544
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,653
He is man.
You try seductions face.
545
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,155
[Kev] What the hell
are you doing?
546
00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:17,656
Five minutes ago,
you were a baby.
547
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,074
[Svetlana]
But she looks good, yes?
548
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:20,826
[Kev] Agh!
I'm not answering that.
549
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:22,077
This means yes.
550
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:26,498
-Where are you going?
-Out.
551
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,500
Are those my boots?
552
00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:31,962
Are you okay?
553
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,965
No, I gotta lie down.
554
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,800
Matty accused me of raping him.
555
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:37,676
-What?
-I know!
556
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:38,844
You date raped me.
557
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:39,970
We were on a date?
558
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,890
No, Debbie,
you statutory raped yourself.
559
00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:45,517
He was drunk,
but his thing wasn't.
560
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:46,602
I don't understand.
561
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:47,978
Friends don't rape friends.
562
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,480
Listen, Debs,
a million guys would kill
563
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:51,648
to be raped by you.
564
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:54,651
Ugh, would you
shut up already?
565
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:57,738
-This is my house.
-[Derek] Okay.
566
00:19:57,779 --> 00:19:59,281
She's putting
all that skank makeup on
567
00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:01,116
to get out of the friend zone
with that Derek dude.
568
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:02,451
We're not in the friend zone.
569
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:03,744
-Talk to you later?
-Yeah.
570
00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:06,538
If he punches your arm,
it means you guys are friends.
571
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:07,539
What the hell is going on?
572
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,124
I don't want you
as my friend.
573
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,667
I want you as my boyfriend.
574
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,920
Look at me,
I'm nice, funny, smart,
575
00:20:12,961 --> 00:20:14,504
and I'd fuck up anyone
that hurts you.
576
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,298
I'm sick of having
to change who I am
577
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,466
or wait till I'm older.
578
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:18,675
I'd be a great girlfriend,
579
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:22,054
and if you can't see that,
screw you!
580
00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:23,764
-I like you too.
-You do?
581
00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:28,101
I am a woman!
582
00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:29,603
-Debbie.
-Larry?
583
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,021
-I'm here with Scarlet.
-Hi.
584
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,357
-Both of us are pregnant.
-I'm into pregnant girls.
585
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:34,858
You are my only seven-monther.
586
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,027
Oh, my God.
587
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,195
-Whoa!
-Oh!
588
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,321
Oh, I'm sorry.
589
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:40,572
[Debbie]
So let me get this straight.
590
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:41,657
You have your own place,
591
00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:43,617
your own money,
and nobody to take care of you.
592
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,285
Excuse me,
are you lactating?
593
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,204
He can't help it.
He has brain damage.
594
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,664
Ah, your breath
smells like Pop-Tarts.
595
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:50,916
You have a good ass; it
makes up for your small tits.
596
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,417
-Cute baby.
-No, it's not.
597
00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:54,586
I love you, Debbie.
598
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:58,590
-I love you too.
-Yeah?
599
00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:01,051
[laughter]
600
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,970
-[cheering]
-Fuck yeah!
601
00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:05,222
-[phone rings]
-Neil, what is it?
602
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,307
Can you come home
and give me a sponge bath?
603
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:08,767
-No.
-I'll do it.
604
00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:09,726
Hey, guys.
605
00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:11,603
Came home early to spend
some quality time.
606
00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:13,438
-Um--
-It's over, Debbie.
607
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,941
I'm in love with my nurse,
and you're a horrible person.
608
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:17,776
upbeat music
609
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:20,279
-Hey.
-Hey.
610
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:22,781
[Debbie]
I think I might be gay.
611
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,199
Have you had sex
with another woman?
612
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,201
I did once, a woman
I was babysitting for.
613
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:27,119
Oh, Debbie.
614
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,912
Carl, hey.
Um, I need some help.
615
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,247
Got any tips on gay sex?
616
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,999
Do the shocker.
I'll text you a pic.
617
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,875
No, no, no, Debbie.
Oh--ah!
618
00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:34,960
Oh-oh!
Deb-Debbie.
619
00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:36,003
Oh, my God,
you're so cute.
620
00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:37,296
Have you been
with a girl since?
621
00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:39,214
Yep, I just made out
with one in a bathroom.
622
00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:40,215
[Ian] Well, that's a start.
623
00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:41,842
I don't like talking
about my feelings.
624
00:21:41,883 --> 00:21:44,177
It's called lesbianism,
Debbie.
625
00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:45,304
It's what we do.
626
00:21:45,345 --> 00:21:47,347
I thought sex with women
is what lesbians do.
627
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:49,641
Yeah, and you're bad
at that too.
628
00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:53,270
How did you guys know
that you were lesbians?
629
00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:54,896
You either like girls
or you don't.
630
00:21:54,938 --> 00:21:56,398
-I thought I did.
-Look at me.
631
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,441
Oh, here we go.
632
00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:09,119
[Mel] You like that?
633
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:11,204
That's all the lesbian
you need to be.
634
00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:14,041
I met this awesome woman
last night at a hotel bar.
635
00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:16,293
She's older than me,
but not in a rapey way.
636
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:17,544
What are you here for?
637
00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:21,590
I was hoping to have a good
conversation with a nice woman.
638
00:22:21,631 --> 00:22:23,759
Looks like I hit the jackpot.
639
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,345
She's got this beautiful smile
and these bright eyes,
640
00:22:26,386 --> 00:22:29,097
and these sexy little
Lisa Loeb glasses.
641
00:22:29,139 --> 00:22:30,349
-Debs.
-So anyways,
642
00:22:30,390 --> 00:22:32,517
we spent the night together
last night,
643
00:22:32,559 --> 00:22:35,187
and then she gave me this.
644
00:22:35,228 --> 00:22:36,063
Holy shit.
645
00:22:36,104 --> 00:22:38,023
-[Claudia] Did you find it?
-Yeah!
646
00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:39,483
She thinks
you're a prostitute.
647
00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:40,442
What?
648
00:22:40,484 --> 00:22:41,818
Can you pick Julia up
after school?
649
00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:43,111
-Julia?
-My kid.
650
00:22:43,153 --> 00:22:44,654
Did I not tell you about her?
651
00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:46,948
You've really drunk
my mom's Kool-Aid, haven't you?
652
00:22:46,990 --> 00:22:49,576
Is that a sex thing?
'Cause probably.
653
00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:51,995
[Megan] You're doing the mom
and the daughter?
654
00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:54,289
-That's hot.
-It's going south fast.
655
00:22:54,331 --> 00:22:55,665
So Debbie and I are fucking.
656
00:22:55,707 --> 00:22:57,167
[chuckles]
Excuse me?
657
00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:58,710
No screens for a week.
658
00:22:58,752 --> 00:23:00,504
We have an arrest warrant
for Deborah Gallagher.
659
00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:01,880
No shit.
What for?
660
00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:05,092
Statutory rape of a minor,
Julia Nicolo.
661
00:23:05,133 --> 00:23:06,635
Fuck.
662
00:23:06,676 --> 00:23:08,512
We got a runner!
663
00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:11,098
-What's going on?
-When's your 18th birthday?
664
00:23:11,139 --> 00:23:13,350
Stop! Police!
665
00:23:14,309 --> 00:23:15,769
I can kinda understand
666
00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:17,312
why Sasha
wouldn't wanna be with me.
667
00:23:17,354 --> 00:23:19,523
Sorry, buddy, it's the family
you were born into.
668
00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:21,191
Just gotta embrace it.
669
00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:25,529
Why am I the only one in
the family that has black skin?
670
00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:27,697
Liam, ah!
671
00:23:27,739 --> 00:23:29,866
It has something to do
with Monica's granddad,
672
00:23:29,908 --> 00:23:32,452
although we never really got
a straight answer.
673
00:23:32,494 --> 00:23:34,913
Hey, Frank, do you know
who banged a Black person
674
00:23:34,955 --> 00:23:35,997
in our family lineage?
675
00:23:36,039 --> 00:23:37,791
This is your great-great aunt.
676
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:40,961
[Frank] Someone from your
mother's grandfather's side
677
00:23:41,002 --> 00:23:42,754
of the family had a mistress.
678
00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:44,881
Twice removed
on your third cousin's--
679
00:23:44,923 --> 00:23:47,259
well, look, I'm not exactly
sure what the genealogy is.
680
00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:49,386
-And she was Black?
-She is Black.
681
00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:51,930
-Is she still alive?
-Lives down the street.
682
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:53,723
Why didn't you tell me?
683
00:23:53,765 --> 00:23:55,434
[man] Get away from the house,
Frank.
684
00:23:55,475 --> 00:23:57,018
You know the rules.
685
00:23:57,060 --> 00:23:59,062
Baby come on give me,
won't you give me
686
00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:00,021
That's why, son.
687
00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:01,690
What's going on?
688
00:24:01,731 --> 00:24:03,567
Trying to figure out
who I am.
689
00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:04,943
What's my identity.
690
00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:06,653
Dr. King, Dr. Dre?
691
00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:08,738
[chuckles] Maybe you should
set your sights lower,
692
00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:10,532
you know, like Tyga, Nelly,
693
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:12,284
or maybe one of
the Wayans brothers,
694
00:24:12,325 --> 00:24:13,410
or Lester Holt.
695
00:24:15,579 --> 00:24:16,663
Can you dig it
696
00:24:16,705 --> 00:24:20,250
I, I, I
697
00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:22,127
Can you dig it
698
00:24:22,169 --> 00:24:25,714
I, I, I
699
00:24:25,755 --> 00:24:27,674
Can you dig it
700
00:24:27,716 --> 00:24:29,301
I, I, I
701
00:24:29,342 --> 00:24:30,927
I just want to know
who I am.
702
00:24:30,969 --> 00:24:32,554
You're a Gallagher, same as me.
703
00:24:32,596 --> 00:24:33,889
You just gotta embrace it.
704
00:24:33,930 --> 00:24:35,557
I hate to agree with Debbie,
705
00:24:35,599 --> 00:24:36,558
but she's right.
706
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,019
Uh, sorry, one more time
for the people in the back.
707
00:24:39,060 --> 00:24:41,980
Just be a Gallagher.
708
00:24:43,023 --> 00:24:44,858
Be a Gallagher.
709
00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:46,818
smooth music
710
00:24:46,860 --> 00:24:49,070
Get everything you can.
711
00:24:49,112 --> 00:24:52,199
Raggedy looking stuff.
These are great.
712
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,242
Gotta put it on the line
713
00:24:54,284 --> 00:24:56,828
Don't let the death
of an orphaned African child
714
00:24:56,870 --> 00:24:59,915
be on your conscience
this holiday season.
715
00:24:59,956 --> 00:25:01,458
He has AIDS.
716
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:04,252
Please, give money.
717
00:25:04,294 --> 00:25:05,504
Keep shivering,
that's really great.
718
00:25:05,545 --> 00:25:08,381
-Here, that's all I got, man.
-God bless you.
719
00:25:08,423 --> 00:25:09,716
Jesus loves you.
720
00:25:09,758 --> 00:25:11,843
Fuck you, Frank.
721
00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:13,345
Do your thing, hey
722
00:25:13,386 --> 00:25:14,846
Baby, just a taste.
723
00:25:14,888 --> 00:25:16,973
Do your thing yeah
724
00:25:17,015 --> 00:25:18,391
Do your thing
725
00:25:18,433 --> 00:25:20,852
Don't give up,
do your thing
726
00:25:20,894 --> 00:25:21,686
[coughs]
727
00:25:21,728 --> 00:25:24,814
It's not working.
I'm sorry, man.
728
00:25:24,856 --> 00:25:26,107
Fucking meds.
729
00:25:26,149 --> 00:25:29,486
Could also be the toddler
staring at us from the corner.
730
00:25:30,403 --> 00:25:31,780
Can you take Liam
to Head Start on your way?
731
00:25:31,821 --> 00:25:34,241
Like I've done every day
for the last four months?
732
00:25:34,282 --> 00:25:35,951
Yes, I think
I can handle that.
733
00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:37,369
Come on, Liam!
734
00:25:39,621 --> 00:25:42,290
No, no, no.
No weapons in juvie.
735
00:25:42,332 --> 00:25:43,333
Where's Debbie?
736
00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:46,002
Said something
about going out to buy drugs.
737
00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:47,128
You couldn't stop her?
738
00:25:47,170 --> 00:25:48,338
I'm injured.
739
00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:49,756
Boom, boom, boom.
740
00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:51,967
That's right,
my little eggplant.
741
00:25:52,008 --> 00:25:53,718
Boom, boom, boom.
742
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,971
-Aw, fuck.
-[Debbie] What?
743
00:25:56,012 --> 00:25:57,305
She's dead.
744
00:25:57,347 --> 00:25:59,140
Isn't it past his bedtime?
745
00:25:59,182 --> 00:26:01,518
-Liam, no, don't look!
-[Mickey] Little late for that.
746
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,104
Look, put the kid to bed, come
back, we'll deal with this.
747
00:26:04,145 --> 00:26:06,690
Come on, Debbie, go.
748
00:26:06,731 --> 00:26:07,899
Night, buddy.
749
00:26:08,316 --> 00:26:11,486
That girl Stella in there is
trying to hook up with me.
750
00:26:11,528 --> 00:26:14,197
Cool.
Lucky you.
751
00:26:14,239 --> 00:26:16,032
What do I do?
752
00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:18,743
Take her up to your room.
Dim the lights.
753
00:26:18,785 --> 00:26:20,287
Strike a manly pose.
754
00:26:20,328 --> 00:26:22,998
Put on some sexy music,
like Barry White.
755
00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:24,249
Do your thing
756
00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:27,669
Son...what say
we pick up some hos?
757
00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:32,841
Your share of the bills
this month, $70.
758
00:26:32,882 --> 00:26:34,634
I don't have $70.
759
00:26:34,676 --> 00:26:36,094
Then make $70.
760
00:26:36,136 --> 00:26:39,097
-I'm nine.
-Figure it out.
761
00:26:39,139 --> 00:26:40,515
I hereby appoint you
762
00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:43,977
the Gallagher Special
Diplomatic Envoy to Nigeria.
763
00:26:44,019 --> 00:26:46,396
Your first duty:
help me sell a baby.
764
00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:49,149
Hot Gay Jesus.
765
00:26:49,190 --> 00:26:51,735
Bet we can make money
off of that.
766
00:26:51,776 --> 00:26:52,777
How?
767
00:26:52,819 --> 00:26:55,196
Ring the right bell
for the right causes,
768
00:26:55,238 --> 00:26:57,449
the guilt-ridden
pry open their wallets.
769
00:26:57,490 --> 00:26:58,783
It's Pavlovian.
770
00:26:58,825 --> 00:26:59,826
Don't miss out.
771
00:26:59,868 --> 00:27:01,953
All profits go to help gays
across the planet.
772
00:27:01,995 --> 00:27:04,372
Are we really gonna give
all of our money to Ian?
773
00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:07,125
No, of course not.
Thank you so much for waiting.
774
00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:09,210
Gay Jesus loves you
and blesses you.
775
00:27:09,252 --> 00:27:11,087
Time to expand
our business, son.
776
00:27:11,129 --> 00:27:12,797
Let's get 'em loaded in.
Welcome.
777
00:27:12,839 --> 00:27:15,091
We have a 16-hour journey
ahead of us.
778
00:27:15,133 --> 00:27:16,092
I'll help you.
779
00:27:16,134 --> 00:27:17,677
We'll play a little
get-to-know-you game
780
00:27:17,719 --> 00:27:20,347
as soon as you're
comfortably settled in.
781
00:27:20,388 --> 00:27:22,098
Boom.
782
00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:24,601
Step right up and help
build a border wall.
783
00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:25,685
A buck a brick.
784
00:27:25,727 --> 00:27:28,355
Keep illegals
out of the South Side.
785
00:27:28,396 --> 00:27:29,397
Thank you.
786
00:27:29,439 --> 00:27:31,316
Thanks for making America
great again.
787
00:27:31,358 --> 00:27:33,068
Thank you.
788
00:27:33,109 --> 00:27:34,444
I wanna go to school, Frank.
789
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:36,696
Well, people in hell
want cold beer.
790
00:27:36,738 --> 00:27:37,697
What's in it for me?
791
00:27:37,739 --> 00:27:39,366
I'll call Child Services.
792
00:27:39,407 --> 00:27:42,702
You're my father.
You've abandoned me.
793
00:27:42,744 --> 00:27:43,828
Well played, son,
794
00:27:43,870 --> 00:27:46,998
but I'm re-abandoning you
right after this is done.
795
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:48,249
I hate Gallaghers.
796
00:27:48,291 --> 00:27:51,711
You motherfuckers bring out
the worst in everybody.
797
00:27:51,753 --> 00:27:52,837
What, you proud of that?
798
00:27:52,879 --> 00:27:55,340
Hey, man, I know who I am.
799
00:28:00,011 --> 00:28:02,347
Be a Gallagher.
800
00:28:02,389 --> 00:28:03,932
I think I can do that.
801
00:28:03,973 --> 00:28:05,850
Thank you.
This actually helped.
802
00:28:05,892 --> 00:28:07,686
I'm glad we could
have this talk.
803
00:28:07,727 --> 00:28:09,729
I can take it from here.
804
00:28:09,771 --> 00:28:12,524
[chuckles]
Ah, I'm killing this shit.
805
00:28:12,565 --> 00:28:15,652
He's lucky to have me.
806
00:28:21,991 --> 00:28:22,992
[gun clicks]
807
00:28:23,034 --> 00:28:24,703
-Is that my gun?
-[Liam] Yeah.
808
00:28:24,744 --> 00:28:26,371
Is that Franny's
Cabbage Patch?
809
00:28:26,413 --> 00:28:27,580
Yeah.
810
00:28:27,622 --> 00:28:31,042
You mind taking
a picture of me?
811
00:28:31,918 --> 00:28:33,044
What are you doing?
812
00:28:33,086 --> 00:28:34,879
Taking your advice on how
to land a girlfriend.
813
00:28:34,921 --> 00:28:36,840
Being a Gallagher,
leaning into it.
814
00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:39,551
-Leaning into what?
-Being a teen mom.
815
00:28:39,592 --> 00:28:40,844
[scoffs]
816
00:28:40,885 --> 00:28:43,972
upbeat rock music
817
00:28:45,098 --> 00:28:48,101
Oh, shit.
818
00:28:48,143 --> 00:28:49,894
Oh, shit.
819
00:28:51,896 --> 00:28:53,690
Oh, fuck!
820
00:28:53,732 --> 00:28:56,109
Sorry.
821
00:28:56,151 --> 00:28:57,444
Don't embarrass me like that.
822
00:28:57,485 --> 00:29:00,572
You can't have a boy
in your bed.
823
00:29:00,613 --> 00:29:01,698
Why not?
You do.
824
00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:03,742
-I'm a grown-up.
-I'm pregnant.
825
00:29:03,783 --> 00:29:06,286
[chuckling]
No, you're not.
826
00:29:06,327 --> 00:29:09,372
No, you're not.
Are you sure?
827
00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:12,292
-It's positive.
-So we're pregnant?
828
00:29:12,333 --> 00:29:14,252
Would you like to discuss
your options going forward?
829
00:29:14,294 --> 00:29:17,422
No, no, no, thank you.
We're having this baby.
830
00:29:21,634 --> 00:29:23,595
-You're not pregnant?
-I'm not.
831
00:29:23,636 --> 00:29:25,930
[relieved sigh]
832
00:29:25,972 --> 00:29:27,682
Hi, Mrs. D.
Is Derek here?
833
00:29:27,724 --> 00:29:30,685
He's moving to Florida
to live with his grandmother.
834
00:29:30,727 --> 00:29:31,936
I'm sorry.
835
00:29:31,978 --> 00:29:33,062
He can't go to Florida!
836
00:29:33,104 --> 00:29:36,232
He's the father of my child!
837
00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:40,278
I'm carrying your grandchild!
838
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:41,654
[Fiona] Can I help you?
839
00:29:41,696 --> 00:29:43,990
We'd like to talk to you
about the baby.
840
00:29:44,032 --> 00:29:46,326
What baby?
841
00:29:46,367 --> 00:29:48,870
Derek and Debbie's baby.
842
00:29:48,912 --> 00:29:50,580
[Carl] Holy shit.
843
00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:52,123
What else did I miss?
844
00:29:52,165 --> 00:29:53,500
[Fiona] Lay down,
lay down, lay down.
845
00:29:53,541 --> 00:29:54,834
All right,
I'm gonna go get my truck
846
00:29:54,876 --> 00:29:56,002
so we can go to the hospital.
847
00:29:56,044 --> 00:29:57,212
No!
No hospital!
848
00:29:57,253 --> 00:29:58,922
-We don't have time to argue.
-Ahhh!
849
00:29:58,963 --> 00:30:00,465
No shit,
this baby is coming!
850
00:30:00,507 --> 00:30:02,258
-Now?
-She's crowning.
851
00:30:02,300 --> 00:30:03,885
-Oh.
-Who delivered Liam?
852
00:30:03,927 --> 00:30:05,595
Monica.
She was high.
853
00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:06,721
He slid right out.
854
00:30:06,763 --> 00:30:08,598
-You worked at a nursing home.
-Changing bedpans.
855
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,392
I never delivered a damn baby.
856
00:30:11,434 --> 00:30:13,520
-[Lip] It says we need towels!
-[Fiona] Already got 'em.
857
00:30:13,561 --> 00:30:16,689
Okay, okay, so put 'em under
to catch all the--
858
00:30:16,731 --> 00:30:18,775
Fuck, just put 'em under.
Shit!
859
00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:20,485
You're gonna start
pushing now, okay?
860
00:30:20,527 --> 00:30:21,945
-[Sean] Uh-huh.
-All right, here we go.
861
00:30:21,986 --> 00:30:23,988
-All right.
-Ready and push!
862
00:30:24,030 --> 00:30:26,241
-[screaming]
-[Veronica] Push, Debbie, push.
863
00:30:26,282 --> 00:30:28,201
[all screaming]
864
00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:29,369
Eww.
865
00:30:29,410 --> 00:30:31,913
-[screaming continues]
-You gotta open your legs up.
866
00:30:31,955 --> 00:30:34,457
My daughter.
867
00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:36,334
She's so big.
868
00:30:36,376 --> 00:30:38,002
Hey, good morning, Franny.
869
00:30:38,044 --> 00:30:39,629
Trying to set
a good example for Franny.
870
00:30:39,671 --> 00:30:42,298
When life gets tough,
you smack a smile on your face
871
00:30:42,340 --> 00:30:43,132
and face the day.
872
00:30:43,174 --> 00:30:45,385
How is she so fucking perky?
873
00:30:45,426 --> 00:30:47,345
She's headed
for a major crash.
874
00:30:47,387 --> 00:30:49,514
[Franny crying]
875
00:30:50,431 --> 00:30:51,599
-Franny still asleep?
-[door slams]
876
00:30:51,641 --> 00:30:52,976
[whispered]
Quiet!
877
00:30:57,438 --> 00:30:58,690
[Franny cries]
878
00:30:58,731 --> 00:30:59,858
Ah, fuck!
879
00:30:59,899 --> 00:31:01,526
Everything terrifies me:
880
00:31:01,568 --> 00:31:04,904
SIDS, jaundice,
germs, reflux.
881
00:31:04,946 --> 00:31:05,947
[thud]
882
00:31:05,989 --> 00:31:07,031
[Franny cries]
883
00:31:07,073 --> 00:31:08,658
I think the drugs
are kicking in.
884
00:31:10,910 --> 00:31:11,870
[laughs]
885
00:31:23,256 --> 00:31:26,718
I can't do it, Franny.
I'm not a good mother.
886
00:31:29,971 --> 00:31:32,432
[alarm blares]
887
00:31:33,182 --> 00:31:34,684
[indistinct radio chatter]
888
00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:38,563
Maybe all this
is a mistake
889
00:31:38,605 --> 00:31:42,859
That I can't seem to shake
890
00:31:42,901 --> 00:31:47,572
But the way we live
is the way we die
891
00:31:47,614 --> 00:31:50,116
Holy shit,
it costs $4,000 new.
892
00:31:50,158 --> 00:31:52,452
Yeah, that's
going on Craigslist.
893
00:31:52,493 --> 00:31:53,912
We'll steal the stroller
someone wants
894
00:31:53,953 --> 00:31:57,332
instead of finding someone
who wants the stroller we have.
895
00:31:57,373 --> 00:31:59,250
-[phone chimes]
-Hi, you contacted me
896
00:31:59,292 --> 00:32:00,418
about the Baby Bugaboo?
897
00:32:00,460 --> 00:32:01,669
Yes, it's still here.
898
00:32:01,711 --> 00:32:02,962
How much did you want again?
899
00:32:03,004 --> 00:32:04,297
How about 1,500?
900
00:32:04,339 --> 00:32:05,381
You're haggling with me?
901
00:32:05,423 --> 00:32:06,591
Isn't that what Craigslist
is all about?
902
00:32:06,633 --> 00:32:09,135
It's also about people
advertising baby stuff
903
00:32:09,177 --> 00:32:11,095
and when the pregnant lady
shows up,
904
00:32:11,137 --> 00:32:14,474
they cut the baby
out of her stomach.
905
00:32:14,515 --> 00:32:16,100
We have such
a bright life now.
906
00:32:16,142 --> 00:32:20,188
Double stroller.
We could get a lot for that.
907
00:32:20,229 --> 00:32:22,649
[baby crying]
908
00:32:26,361 --> 00:32:27,570
Shit.
909
00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:30,281
[baby crying]
910
00:32:31,908 --> 00:32:34,702
[Liam] So my two role models
are either a teen mom
911
00:32:34,744 --> 00:32:35,870
or a white boy drug dealer.
912
00:32:35,912 --> 00:32:37,997
[chuckles]
913
00:32:38,039 --> 00:32:39,499
smooth music
914
00:32:39,540 --> 00:32:40,583
All right, I'm out.
915
00:32:40,625 --> 00:32:42,919
Off to deal drugs
on a Saturday morning?
916
00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:44,045
Yep.
917
00:32:44,087 --> 00:32:45,254
Impressive work ethic, son.
918
00:32:45,296 --> 00:32:47,090
What's in those bags, Carl?
919
00:32:47,131 --> 00:32:48,841
Horse.
920
00:32:48,883 --> 00:32:51,135
Why are you taping horse
to my tummy?
921
00:32:51,177 --> 00:32:53,680
'Cause I'm your uncle,
and you're my niece,
922
00:32:53,721 --> 00:32:55,932
and you do what I say.
923
00:32:55,974 --> 00:32:58,059
Okay, Uncle Carl.
924
00:33:04,816 --> 00:33:05,817
Whoo
925
00:33:07,485 --> 00:33:11,030
[dog barking]
926
00:33:11,072 --> 00:33:13,199
You alone?
927
00:33:13,241 --> 00:33:14,909
Uncle Carl!
928
00:33:14,951 --> 00:33:16,619
[officer]
Chicago Police, open up!
929
00:33:16,661 --> 00:33:18,663
Go, run.
930
00:33:18,705 --> 00:33:21,207
[police sirens]
931
00:33:28,214 --> 00:33:29,507
Put your hands
in the air now!
932
00:33:29,549 --> 00:33:32,260
All right, don't shoot!
I'm white!
933
00:33:32,301 --> 00:33:33,803
Do you regret what
you've done, Carl?
934
00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:35,179
I did something really dumb,
935
00:33:35,221 --> 00:33:36,806
and I shouldn't have.
936
00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:40,643
I trusted a fucking retard
with a man's job.
937
00:33:40,685 --> 00:33:42,103
Next time I move
a bunch of drugs,
938
00:33:42,145 --> 00:33:43,563
I'll be smarter.
939
00:33:43,604 --> 00:33:45,815
[judge] That's not what
I was hoping to hear.
940
00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:47,150
I know what you were
hoping to hear.
941
00:33:47,191 --> 00:33:49,318
If Your Honor
would lose 20 pounds,
942
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,446
I would consider tapping that.
943
00:33:51,487 --> 00:33:53,322
I sentence you to the maximum
of one year
944
00:33:53,364 --> 00:33:54,699
at the Illinois Department
of Corrections
945
00:33:54,741 --> 00:33:56,325
Juvenile Justice Division.
946
00:33:56,367 --> 00:33:57,702
Yes, please.
947
00:33:57,744 --> 00:33:59,954
Why the fuck
did you do that, Carl?
948
00:33:59,996 --> 00:34:02,665
My street cred
will be off the chain.
949
00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:05,168
-We'll send letters.
-He'll be okay.
950
00:34:05,209 --> 00:34:06,419
Hell, he's gonna be
running the joint.
951
00:34:06,461 --> 00:34:08,337
Any chance he'll get
scared straight?
952
00:34:08,379 --> 00:34:09,630
-No.
-Hell no.
953
00:34:12,717 --> 00:34:14,719
I know what you did.
Kept your mouth shut.
954
00:34:14,761 --> 00:34:17,889
Coulda gave him up, coulda made
things easier for yourself.
955
00:34:17,930 --> 00:34:18,806
Word.
956
00:34:18,848 --> 00:34:21,100
-[Carl] Forty-nine, fifty.
-Gallagher.
957
00:34:21,142 --> 00:34:21,934
Ready to go?
958
00:34:21,976 --> 00:34:23,811
Sweat
959
00:34:23,853 --> 00:34:25,730
Work
960
00:34:25,772 --> 00:34:26,564
Sweat
961
00:34:26,606 --> 00:34:28,483
[man] White Boy Carl!
962
00:34:28,524 --> 00:34:30,777
[all] White Boy Carl!
White Boy Carl!
963
00:34:30,818 --> 00:34:33,571
White Boy Carl!
White Boy Carl!
964
00:34:33,613 --> 00:34:34,781
White Boy carl!
965
00:34:34,822 --> 00:34:35,907
Hey
966
00:34:40,119 --> 00:34:41,579
Where you want these at,
Mr. Gallagher?
967
00:34:41,621 --> 00:34:43,539
Right over there with
the rest of the shipment.
968
00:34:43,581 --> 00:34:45,083
[Fiona] What the hell
is going on?
969
00:34:45,124 --> 00:34:47,168
[Carl] Upgraded the crib since
it's technically mine now.
970
00:34:47,210 --> 00:34:49,670
[Fiona] Ah, not with my name
on the deed, it's not.
971
00:34:49,712 --> 00:34:50,630
My money, it is.
972
00:34:50,671 --> 00:34:51,923
Place gonna be popping.
You feel me?
973
00:34:51,964 --> 00:34:55,718
Shut your mouth,
shut up
974
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:58,429
- Shut your mouth
-Thug for life, homes.
975
00:34:58,471 --> 00:34:59,806
-[Carl] I gotta bounce.
- Bye
976
00:34:59,847 --> 00:35:01,224
You stay out front
while I go in
977
00:35:01,265 --> 00:35:03,810
and offer Mr. Wu a little
neighborhood protection policy.
978
00:35:03,851 --> 00:35:07,730
Who brings the fight
to your door like us
979
00:35:07,772 --> 00:35:10,274
Like taking candy
from an Asian dry cleaner.
980
00:35:10,316 --> 00:35:11,567
Where you getting
all this money?
981
00:35:11,609 --> 00:35:12,735
Job, saved up.
982
00:35:12,777 --> 00:35:14,654
You better not be selling
drugs again, Carl.
983
00:35:14,695 --> 00:35:15,780
No.
984
00:35:15,822 --> 00:35:17,115
Next.
985
00:35:17,156 --> 00:35:18,574
You know why you're here?
986
00:35:18,616 --> 00:35:20,159
I need to buy a gun.
987
00:35:20,201 --> 00:35:21,828
Glock 17.
988
00:35:21,869 --> 00:35:24,163
A mere $300.
989
00:35:24,205 --> 00:35:25,248
Walk tall.
990
00:35:25,289 --> 00:35:26,791
-Students talk.
-So?
991
00:35:26,833 --> 00:35:28,000
I want a Glock.
992
00:35:28,042 --> 00:35:31,003
A nine-millimeter semi
with an extended mag.
993
00:35:31,045 --> 00:35:33,589
We're talking about
a Smith & Wesson Lady model.
994
00:35:33,631 --> 00:35:36,968
Pink handle would be nice.
995
00:35:37,009 --> 00:35:39,178
-[woman] Gun!
-[all screaming]
996
00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:41,514
Get your hands in the air
997
00:35:41,556 --> 00:35:43,599
And say yeah
998
00:35:43,641 --> 00:35:44,767
[Debbie] What are you doing?
999
00:35:44,809 --> 00:35:46,978
The new-and-improved Liam,
or Lil G for short.
1000
00:35:47,019 --> 00:35:49,564
Are you sure you're not just
leaning into Black stereotypes?
1001
00:35:49,605 --> 00:35:52,692
No, I'm leaning into
being a Gallagher.
1002
00:35:52,733 --> 00:35:55,444
Okay, I'm going live.
1003
00:35:56,445 --> 00:35:57,280
What up, what up?
1004
00:35:57,321 --> 00:35:58,614
It's your boy Lil G
1005
00:35:58,656 --> 00:36:00,575
coming at you live
from the Gallagher house.
1006
00:36:00,616 --> 00:36:02,952
Let me give you a tour.
1007
00:36:04,829 --> 00:36:06,706
Is that what he
really thinks of us?
1008
00:36:06,747 --> 00:36:07,707
Yeah.
1009
00:36:07,748 --> 00:36:09,667
We did what we had
to do to survive.
1010
00:36:09,709 --> 00:36:11,502
rock music
1011
00:36:11,544 --> 00:36:13,588
You in this game for life,
motherfucker.
1012
00:36:13,629 --> 00:36:14,881
I need to get out of the game.
1013
00:36:14,922 --> 00:36:16,340
Can I get my old job back?
1014
00:36:16,382 --> 00:36:18,009
I need money
for military school.
1015
00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:21,596
[man] Oh, what the fuck?
1016
00:36:21,637 --> 00:36:23,306
[Carl] Shit, I got him.
1017
00:36:23,347 --> 00:36:24,515
[man groans]
1018
00:36:24,557 --> 00:36:26,642
[Carl] I see you found the
little copper treat I left you.
1019
00:36:26,684 --> 00:36:27,560
Who are you?
1020
00:36:27,602 --> 00:36:28,811
I'm your worst
fucking nightmare.
1021
00:36:28,853 --> 00:36:31,439
You know what makes a man?
Discipline.
1022
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:32,690
Conviction.
1023
00:36:32,732 --> 00:36:33,941
Strength of character.
1024
00:36:33,983 --> 00:36:38,571
Deciding against all odds
you alone define your destiny.
1025
00:36:38,613 --> 00:36:40,489
I want to be able to see
my face in these
1026
00:36:40,531 --> 00:36:42,074
by the end of the day.
1027
00:36:42,116 --> 00:36:43,367
[Fiona] Well, I can lend you
the money.
1028
00:36:43,409 --> 00:36:45,453
No, I need to earn my own way
back into school.
1029
00:36:45,494 --> 00:36:47,246
I already got someone
on dishes.
1030
00:36:47,288 --> 00:36:49,123
I'll empty and clean
the grease trap.
1031
00:36:52,293 --> 00:36:53,878
[retches]
1032
00:36:59,133 --> 00:37:02,511
Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
what the fuck is that smell?
1033
00:37:02,553 --> 00:37:04,680
Fuck, it's like
rotten, rancid eggs.
1034
00:37:04,722 --> 00:37:06,474
No time to shower.
1035
00:37:06,515 --> 00:37:07,934
"Need the car to make money?
1036
00:37:07,975 --> 00:37:10,519
Thanks.
Carl."
1037
00:37:10,561 --> 00:37:12,355
-You called for an Uber?
-[woman] You Kendrick?
1038
00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:14,398
-I'm Carl. Where you going?
-No thank you.
1039
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,109
I charge ten bucks less than
whatever you were gonna pay.
1040
00:37:17,151 --> 00:37:19,320
Okay.
1041
00:37:19,362 --> 00:37:22,156
Carl, I said no Uber.
That's my car!
1042
00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:25,576
You can't just take it
whenever you feel like it.
1043
00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:28,496
You did it, man.
You're clean.
1044
00:37:28,537 --> 00:37:29,580
[man] Thank you.
1045
00:37:29,622 --> 00:37:30,873
Who the hell is this?
1046
00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:32,124
This is my girlfriend.
1047
00:37:32,166 --> 00:37:33,501
I was at Betty Ford
three times.
1048
00:37:33,542 --> 00:37:35,795
It didn't work for me,
cost a fortune.
1049
00:37:35,836 --> 00:37:37,296
You cleaned me up
in five days.
1050
00:37:37,338 --> 00:37:38,381
Here.
1051
00:37:38,422 --> 00:37:40,258
That's five grand
from my parents.
1052
00:37:40,299 --> 00:37:44,136
Plus, Nora-Jean's folks
are gonna give you 2,500
1053
00:37:44,178 --> 00:37:47,390
for the Beaver Trap
Detox Special.
1054
00:37:47,431 --> 00:37:50,518
In 72 hours, you will be
free of your addiction.
1055
00:37:50,559 --> 00:37:52,478
Livestock's been fed
and watered, sir.
1056
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,730
Jesus, Carl, your
involuntary detox program
1057
00:37:54,772 --> 00:37:56,023
is stinking up
the whole house.
1058
00:37:56,065 --> 00:37:57,108
It smells like
afterbirth down there.
1059
00:37:57,149 --> 00:37:58,734
[Carl] I will now begin intake.
1060
00:37:58,776 --> 00:38:00,820
State your name
and your parents' net worth
1061
00:38:00,861 --> 00:38:03,114
in a loud and clear voice.
1062
00:38:03,155 --> 00:38:06,075
I know you're selling vape pens
to little Mexican kids,
1063
00:38:06,117 --> 00:38:07,785
and I want to go
into business with you.
1064
00:38:07,827 --> 00:38:08,911
We'll split profits 50/50.
1065
00:38:08,953 --> 00:38:10,288
Liam and I will go
to the playground,
1066
00:38:10,329 --> 00:38:13,666
round up new buyers,
and here is your supplies.
1067
00:38:13,708 --> 00:38:14,583
Menthol?
1068
00:38:14,625 --> 00:38:17,128
Trust me, my customers
will love it.
1069
00:38:18,546 --> 00:38:19,714
[Winslow]
You can ride with me.
1070
00:38:19,755 --> 00:38:21,007
We'll get to know
each other better.
1071
00:38:21,048 --> 00:38:24,260
[siren blares]
1072
00:38:24,302 --> 00:38:25,553
He's running.
1073
00:38:25,594 --> 00:38:27,638
Stay in the car.
1074
00:38:29,223 --> 00:38:31,600
Hey, stop!
1075
00:38:31,642 --> 00:38:32,601
[grunts]
1076
00:38:32,643 --> 00:38:35,104
-Who the hell are you?
-The law, motherfucker!
1077
00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:37,315
Don't hit your head
on the way in, punk.
1078
00:38:41,027 --> 00:38:42,111
Well, I'll be damned.
1079
00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:45,031
You got any more tricks
up your sleeve?
1080
00:38:45,072 --> 00:38:47,116
Thanks for the ride,
Sergeant Winslow.
1081
00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:48,576
What was all that about?
1082
00:38:48,617 --> 00:38:50,077
Think I wanna be a cop.
1083
00:38:50,119 --> 00:38:51,787
I'm here to join
the police academy.
1084
00:38:51,829 --> 00:38:53,497
I have three skills
to offer you, sir.
1085
00:38:53,539 --> 00:38:55,791
I like to choke things,
I'm good with weapons,
1086
00:38:55,833 --> 00:38:57,543
and I got a buttload
of rage in my heart.
1087
00:38:57,585 --> 00:38:59,837
I think I've got a place
better suited for your talent.
1088
00:38:59,879 --> 00:39:01,172
Sanitation department.
1089
00:39:01,213 --> 00:39:02,840
Breakfast is served.
1090
00:39:02,882 --> 00:39:04,508
You guys eat
out of the garbage?
1091
00:39:04,550 --> 00:39:05,760
You just show up
out of nowhere,
1092
00:39:05,801 --> 00:39:07,762
acting like you're too good
to eat a dumpster bagel.
1093
00:39:07,803 --> 00:39:09,889
Strikes me as
a little suspicious.
1094
00:39:09,930 --> 00:39:11,140
Eat.
1095
00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:12,808
Except cinnamon raisin.
Those go to the boss man.
1096
00:39:12,850 --> 00:39:14,560
Suddenly magic
1097
00:39:14,602 --> 00:39:16,979
-[horn blares]
-We're finishing up.
1098
00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:19,023
Move it up.
1099
00:39:20,316 --> 00:39:21,859
Come on back.
1100
00:39:25,446 --> 00:39:26,405
Fuck that guy.
1101
00:39:26,447 --> 00:39:27,740
Beautiful world
1102
00:39:27,782 --> 00:39:28,741
[man groaning]
1103
00:39:28,783 --> 00:39:30,743
[man] We ain't got
no free services, you heard?
1104
00:39:30,785 --> 00:39:32,286
So give us what you owe,
or we're gonna be
1105
00:39:32,328 --> 00:39:34,830
at every open house you got.
1106
00:39:34,872 --> 00:39:36,248
What's up with
the open house thing?
1107
00:39:36,290 --> 00:39:39,126
You ask a lot
of questions, Gallagher.
1108
00:39:39,168 --> 00:39:40,878
-You a cop, Carl?
-Hell no.
1109
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:42,838
Sir, garbage is dirty.
1110
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:44,507
Keep it up.
You're gonna make one hell
1111
00:39:44,548 --> 00:39:46,217
of a cop someday, Gallagher.
1112
00:39:46,258 --> 00:39:48,135
See, it's not all bad.
1113
00:39:48,177 --> 00:39:50,513
Yeah, well, I made something
of myself.
1114
00:39:50,554 --> 00:39:53,349
How am I gonna afford $375?
1115
00:39:53,391 --> 00:39:55,684
-You could get a job.
-Is The Alibi hiring?
1116
00:39:55,726 --> 00:39:56,811
I need to get a job.
1117
00:39:56,852 --> 00:39:59,563
I wanted to ask if it would
be okay if I worked here.
1118
00:39:59,605 --> 00:40:03,359
That's 75 cents a pound.
That will be $13.50, please.
1119
00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:04,402
You overcharged her.
1120
00:40:04,443 --> 00:40:05,903
It's 50 cents a pound.
Sign's in the window.
1121
00:40:05,945 --> 00:40:07,363
I took that sign down.
1122
00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:08,739
Fifty cents a pound is low.
1123
00:40:08,781 --> 00:40:11,033
As long as it's under a dollar,
nobody really does the math,
1124
00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:13,035
and we increase profits by 50%.
1125
00:40:13,077 --> 00:40:14,578
Smart.
1126
00:40:14,620 --> 00:40:16,622
smooth music
1127
00:40:16,664 --> 00:40:19,291
That'll show those
misogynistic motherfuckers.
1128
00:40:19,333 --> 00:40:21,836
Only two dicks left.
1129
00:40:21,877 --> 00:40:22,962
-En garde!
-Ooh!
1130
00:40:23,003 --> 00:40:24,130
[laughter]
1131
00:40:24,171 --> 00:40:25,756
Okay, who's next?
1132
00:40:32,847 --> 00:40:36,142
-[woman] You cunt!
-[Fiona] I tried to be nice.
1133
00:40:37,726 --> 00:40:38,811
Open the gate.
1134
00:40:38,853 --> 00:40:40,855
And good afternoon
to you too, sir.
1135
00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:47,069
[engine revs]
1136
00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:56,370
[man] Who the fuck welded
a dumpster to my fucking car?
1137
00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:58,747
[camera shutter clicks]
1138
00:40:58,789 --> 00:41:01,125
[Debbie] Okay, now let's do
some without my helmet.
1139
00:41:04,170 --> 00:41:05,754
How does my hair look?
1140
00:41:05,796 --> 00:41:07,381
I don't know, red?
1141
00:41:07,423 --> 00:41:08,883
Just take the pictures.
1142
00:41:08,924 --> 00:41:10,259
What do you need these for?
1143
00:41:10,301 --> 00:41:12,219
I'm trying to get
some freelance welding work.
1144
00:41:12,261 --> 00:41:15,055
Hi, I'm here to discuss
payment options for my class,
1145
00:41:15,097 --> 00:41:16,515
Advanced Arc Welding,
second level.
1146
00:41:16,557 --> 00:41:19,185
Bring this back tomorrow
with 300 bucks.
1147
00:41:19,226 --> 00:41:21,854
Added to the 200
that you already put down,
1148
00:41:21,896 --> 00:41:24,190
that's 20% of the tuition.
1149
00:41:24,231 --> 00:41:26,400
I can't bend past that.
1150
00:41:26,442 --> 00:41:27,735
Thank you.
1151
00:41:27,776 --> 00:41:29,278
[dog barks]
1152
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:30,946
-Toto!
-[barks]
1153
00:41:30,988 --> 00:41:33,949
Toto, Toto, stop.
1154
00:41:33,991 --> 00:41:35,451
[siren blares]
1155
00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:37,244
-Go.
-Yo, ditch the weed!
1156
00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:44,752
What the hell?
1157
00:41:44,793 --> 00:41:46,253
Is that what
you've been barking at?
1158
00:41:46,295 --> 00:41:48,214
Think I may have
a cheap supplier
1159
00:41:48,255 --> 00:41:49,465
who specializes in weed.
1160
00:41:49,507 --> 00:41:52,426
How much do we need to sell
to make 300 bucks by tomorrow?
1161
00:41:52,468 --> 00:41:54,887
I can unload it.
Who's your supplier?
1162
00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:57,431
He goes by
the street name Toto.
1163
00:41:57,473 --> 00:41:58,682
[Toto barks]
1164
00:42:06,857 --> 00:42:08,484
Good boy, Toto.
1165
00:42:12,988 --> 00:42:16,700
Ah, Mommy's gonna get
her tuition.
1166
00:42:16,742 --> 00:42:18,953
Hi, sign me up
for second semester, please.
1167
00:42:18,994 --> 00:42:22,206
Oh, it's good to see
you made it back.
1168
00:42:24,667 --> 00:42:26,460
Don't ask.
[chuckles]
1169
00:42:26,502 --> 00:42:28,337
You guys,
Farhad found me a temp job
1170
00:42:28,379 --> 00:42:29,755
that pays 40 bucks an hour.
1171
00:42:29,797 --> 00:42:31,590
-Oh, yeah?
-Some nighttime welding gig.
1172
00:42:31,632 --> 00:42:34,134
Oh, nighttime welding.
Sounds kinda sketchy, Debs.
1173
00:42:34,176 --> 00:42:36,595
It took me two weeks
to make 300 bucks walking dogs.
1174
00:42:36,637 --> 00:42:38,639
I can handle sketchy.
1175
00:42:38,681 --> 00:42:40,599
[man] Hey, scab motherfucker!
1176
00:42:40,641 --> 00:42:42,017
[indistinct chatter]
1177
00:42:42,059 --> 00:42:44,562
[man] Go, go!
Fucking run!
1178
00:42:44,603 --> 00:42:47,314
Debbie, Debbie, run!
1179
00:42:47,356 --> 00:42:49,900
Come here, you motherfucker!
1180
00:42:51,026 --> 00:42:53,070
[man] Shit!
1181
00:42:53,112 --> 00:42:55,322
[indistinct shouting]
1182
00:42:55,364 --> 00:42:56,991
It's wrong and it's dangerous.
1183
00:42:57,032 --> 00:42:58,200
I'm never being a scab again.
1184
00:42:58,242 --> 00:43:00,494
[Farhad] Hey, I just got a tip
for another gig.
1185
00:43:00,536 --> 00:43:02,454
Pays even more.
1186
00:43:02,496 --> 00:43:03,455
I'm in.
1187
00:43:03,497 --> 00:43:05,708
upbeat music
1188
00:43:05,749 --> 00:43:07,001
-[loud crunch]
-[screaming]
1189
00:43:07,042 --> 00:43:08,460
[Farhad] Debbie!
1190
00:43:08,502 --> 00:43:11,005
-[Debbie screaming]
-Call 911!
1191
00:43:11,046 --> 00:43:13,048
[groaning]
1192
00:43:13,090 --> 00:43:14,717
[Debbie sighs]
1193
00:43:14,758 --> 00:43:16,552
Whoa.
1194
00:43:16,594 --> 00:43:18,220
Okay, just how we practiced.
1195
00:43:18,262 --> 00:43:20,598
Start with the little one,
cut the joint.
1196
00:43:20,639 --> 00:43:24,059
Once you start, do not stop
until you cut off all three.
1197
00:43:28,355 --> 00:43:30,274
Ow! Fuck!
1198
00:43:30,316 --> 00:43:31,859
Okay, let's do this.
1199
00:43:31,900 --> 00:43:33,944
I can see it
in your eyes now
1200
00:43:33,986 --> 00:43:36,947
[Debbie groans]
1201
00:43:36,989 --> 00:43:39,450
It ain't no secret and there
won't be no surprise now
1202
00:43:39,491 --> 00:43:40,868
Shit!
1203
00:43:42,036 --> 00:43:43,537
[groans]
1204
00:43:43,579 --> 00:43:45,873
Seen that look
on you before
1205
00:43:45,914 --> 00:43:49,001
There's only one way
this can go
1206
00:43:49,043 --> 00:43:52,129
What you waiting for
1207
00:43:52,171 --> 00:43:55,257
I know you like it
1208
00:43:55,299 --> 00:43:58,260
I know you do
1209
00:43:58,302 --> 00:44:01,847
I know you crave it,
I know
1210
00:44:01,889 --> 00:44:03,390
What you waiting for
1211
00:44:03,432 --> 00:44:06,101
[Carl] I mean, I'm a much
better role model to Liam.
1212
00:44:06,143 --> 00:44:07,478
You'll always be a teen mom.
1213
00:44:07,519 --> 00:44:08,771
Okay, White Boy Carl.
1214
00:44:08,812 --> 00:44:10,189
Do you want some mayonnaise
to go along
1215
00:44:10,230 --> 00:44:11,357
with that cultural
appropriation?
1216
00:44:11,398 --> 00:44:12,816
Fuck you, 15 and pregnant.
1217
00:44:12,858 --> 00:44:14,943
MTV ain't shit anymore,
and neither are you.
1218
00:44:14,985 --> 00:44:17,529
Well, at least I didn't turn
on my own and become a cop.
1219
00:44:17,571 --> 00:44:19,698
At least I can wear
open-toed shoes.
1220
00:44:19,740 --> 00:44:21,492
[scoffs]
1221
00:44:25,788 --> 00:44:27,206
Are you serious?
1222
00:44:27,247 --> 00:44:28,916
Fight me, bitch.
1223
00:44:28,957 --> 00:44:30,376
rock music
1224
00:44:30,417 --> 00:44:32,795
[grunting]
1225
00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:36,256
Ow!
1226
00:44:36,298 --> 00:44:38,258
-Who are you?
-Kyle.
1227
00:44:38,300 --> 00:44:39,301
What's your business here?
1228
00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:40,678
I may or may not be related
1229
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:42,304
to your neighbor, Kevin.
1230
00:44:42,346 --> 00:44:45,099
Yo, period!
Period!
1231
00:44:45,140 --> 00:44:47,518
[laughter]
1232
00:45:01,865 --> 00:45:03,367
Yes!
1233
00:45:03,409 --> 00:45:06,745
Oh, my God, I totally
almost drowned a slut.
1234
00:45:06,787 --> 00:45:08,497
[Frank]
What's the matter with you?
1235
00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:11,041
[Debbie groans, sighs]
1236
00:45:11,083 --> 00:45:13,377
Oh, it was
a piece of shit anyway.
1237
00:45:13,419 --> 00:45:15,921
[indistinct shouting]
1238
00:45:19,508 --> 00:45:20,551
[Jackie]
Never heard of that.
1239
00:45:20,592 --> 00:45:22,720
A girl who had to rape a boy
to get laid.
1240
00:45:22,761 --> 00:45:25,389
How does that work?
[all chuckle]
1241
00:45:25,431 --> 00:45:27,307
[laughs]
1242
00:45:27,349 --> 00:45:29,893
[grunting]
1243
00:45:32,354 --> 00:45:33,856
[Debbie] Hey!
1244
00:45:33,897 --> 00:45:36,358
[overlapping chatter]
1245
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:40,028
[woman] Get off of me!
You slut!
1246
00:45:40,070 --> 00:45:41,447
[Franny] Mama.
1247
00:45:41,488 --> 00:45:45,159
You do not F
with Debbie Gallagher!
1248
00:45:47,578 --> 00:45:50,289
You know what I think
is hilarious?
1249
00:45:50,330 --> 00:45:52,124
Carl, not the...
not the vagina pillow.
1250
00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:54,209
Seriously, I--no.
I've been working on that all--
1251
00:45:54,251 --> 00:45:57,421
No!
Not the vagina!
1252
00:45:58,505 --> 00:45:59,798
[groans]
1253
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:01,925
Ow! Oh.
1254
00:46:03,302 --> 00:46:06,054
[grunting]
1255
00:46:07,055 --> 00:46:09,433
Hey
1256
00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:10,684
[groans]
1257
00:46:10,726 --> 00:46:12,895
[screaming]
1258
00:46:12,936 --> 00:46:14,354
[crowd cheering]
1259
00:46:14,396 --> 00:46:16,106
[whistle chirps]
1260
00:46:20,569 --> 00:46:21,570
-[grunting]
-[thud]
1261
00:46:21,612 --> 00:46:24,031
Shit.
1262
00:46:24,072 --> 00:46:25,949
Bullying is bad for society.
1263
00:46:25,991 --> 00:46:28,327
Very good.
1264
00:46:28,368 --> 00:46:31,079
Give me money, chihuahua.
1265
00:46:31,121 --> 00:46:32,998
[Carl] What the hell
are you guys doing?
1266
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:34,750
Waking Frank's spirit.
1267
00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:36,293
Why don't you just do this?
1268
00:46:36,335 --> 00:46:38,712
[groans loudly]
1269
00:46:38,754 --> 00:46:40,464
I'm gonna fuck you up.
[groans]
1270
00:46:40,506 --> 00:46:42,257
A new way, 360 degrees
1271
00:46:42,299 --> 00:46:44,051
I've got the power
1272
00:46:44,092 --> 00:46:45,302
The power of me
1273
00:46:45,344 --> 00:46:47,221
Anyone else wanna haze me?
1274
00:46:47,262 --> 00:46:48,931
Didn't think so.
1275
00:46:48,972 --> 00:46:50,724
[groans]
1276
00:46:50,766 --> 00:46:52,434
Hey, jaywalking's illegal.
1277
00:46:52,476 --> 00:46:53,852
[laughs]
Buzz off.
1278
00:46:53,894 --> 00:46:54,812
[whistles]
1279
00:46:54,853 --> 00:46:56,772
-[Taser clicks]
-[man groans]
1280
00:46:59,942 --> 00:47:01,401
Give me the fucking money.
1281
00:47:01,443 --> 00:47:02,486
Okay, you know what, asshole?
1282
00:47:02,528 --> 00:47:04,530
Pull the motherfucking trigger.
1283
00:47:04,571 --> 00:47:06,615
God fucking--
1284
00:47:08,033 --> 00:47:10,786
Fucker!
Piece of fucking shit!
1285
00:47:10,828 --> 00:47:12,913
West Point motherfucking
1286
00:47:12,955 --> 00:47:17,543
lesbian sister piece of shit!
1287
00:47:19,127 --> 00:47:20,671
Check it.
1288
00:47:20,712 --> 00:47:21,713
Weed bread.
1289
00:47:21,755 --> 00:47:23,549
All you have to do
is just like and follow,
1290
00:47:23,590 --> 00:47:24,716
and you get half off.
1291
00:47:24,758 --> 00:47:27,302
50,000 views
in the first three hours?
1292
00:47:27,344 --> 00:47:28,679
[light knocking]
1293
00:47:31,098 --> 00:47:32,349
Sasha?
1294
00:47:32,391 --> 00:47:34,142
Saw your video.
1295
00:47:34,184 --> 00:47:35,686
You're, like,
Instagram famous now.
1296
00:47:35,727 --> 00:47:38,522
So I was thinking,
maybe I was wrong about us.
1297
00:47:38,564 --> 00:47:41,191
[Liam] Sorry, Sash,
too little, too late.
1298
00:47:41,233 --> 00:47:42,442
I've actually moved on.
1299
00:47:42,484 --> 00:47:43,694
[light knocking]
1300
00:47:43,735 --> 00:47:46,071
I think that's them
right now.
1301
00:47:48,740 --> 00:47:51,410
What's up?
1302
00:47:52,202 --> 00:47:54,496
We'll be upstairs.
1303
00:47:57,332 --> 00:47:59,251
I think he'll be just fine.
1304
00:47:59,293 --> 00:48:01,837
They grow up so fast.
1305
00:48:01,879 --> 00:48:03,714
To being a Gallagher.
1306
00:48:15,392 --> 00:48:18,478
mellow rock music
1307
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,483
I play Carl Gallagher.
1308
00:48:23,525 --> 00:48:26,445
He's a very odd kid.
1309
00:48:26,486 --> 00:48:28,739
He'll do what he wants
when he wants.
1310
00:48:28,780 --> 00:48:31,491
I had the best day
of my life.
1311
00:48:31,533 --> 00:48:33,911
-Did you wear a face guard?
-Nope.
1312
00:48:33,952 --> 00:48:36,121
[Lip] How many more dogs
are down there, Carl?
1313
00:48:36,163 --> 00:48:37,247
[Carl] Just Rocco and Bernice.
1314
00:48:37,289 --> 00:48:39,166
They should be dead
by the end of the week.
1315
00:48:39,207 --> 00:48:40,292
[bell rings]
1316
00:48:40,334 --> 00:48:42,169
[woman]
You just bought yourself
1317
00:48:42,210 --> 00:48:43,253
two more weeks' detention.
1318
00:48:43,295 --> 00:48:45,631
You know you misspelled
your last name.
1319
00:48:45,672 --> 00:48:48,592
He doesn't exactly know
sometimes what's going on.
1320
00:48:48,634 --> 00:48:50,135
Who was the first
American president
1321
00:48:50,177 --> 00:48:52,095
to serve two
nonconsecutive terms?
1322
00:48:52,137 --> 00:48:53,513
Fuck if I know.
1323
00:48:53,555 --> 00:48:54,765
But he doesn't really care.
1324
00:48:54,806 --> 00:48:55,933
[Liam] Grover Cleveland.
1325
00:48:55,974 --> 00:48:57,351
Oh, from Sesame Street?
1326
00:48:57,392 --> 00:48:59,436
Hey, hey, hey, hey
1327
00:48:59,478 --> 00:49:02,314
And it's a crazy world
1328
00:49:02,356 --> 00:49:07,194
But I won't fall
like a domino
1329
00:49:07,235 --> 00:49:09,404
No, no, no, no
1330
00:49:09,446 --> 00:49:11,281
I play Debbie Gallagher.
1331
00:49:11,323 --> 00:49:13,033
She's a take-charge
kinda girl.
1332
00:49:13,075 --> 00:49:15,661
Hey! Only kids under 12
eat for free.
1333
00:49:15,702 --> 00:49:17,204
Everybody else pays.
1334
00:49:17,245 --> 00:49:19,665
She's trying to get through
life without problems.
1335
00:49:19,706 --> 00:49:21,792
-[Debbie] Oh, there it is.
-[Mandy] Is that a shiv?
1336
00:49:21,833 --> 00:49:23,001
Yep.
Later.
1337
00:49:23,043 --> 00:49:24,836
Debbie tries to be
Daddy's little girl,
1338
00:49:24,878 --> 00:49:26,088
but since her dad's drunk,
1339
00:49:26,129 --> 00:49:28,548
it doesn't really
turn out the way she wants.
1340
00:49:28,590 --> 00:49:30,926
Frank Gallagher!
1341
00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:32,302
Show yourself!
1342
00:49:32,344 --> 00:49:34,596
This shit is about
to get biblical!
1343
00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:36,765
I can see you're emotional.
Let's just--
1344
00:49:36,807 --> 00:49:39,559
I am as cool
as a motherfucking cucumber.
1345
00:49:39,601 --> 00:49:41,770
What's this 600 bucks
you've already taken out
1346
00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:43,772
-of my discretionary money?
-New couch.
1347
00:49:43,814 --> 00:49:45,190
There's nothing wrong
with our couch.
1348
00:49:45,232 --> 00:49:47,859
You spent six months dribbling
your broken leg juices
1349
00:49:47,901 --> 00:49:49,319
and piss all over it.
1350
00:49:49,361 --> 00:49:50,570
It's perfectly fine.
1351
00:49:55,826 --> 00:49:58,370
Uh, Debbie takes care of Liam.
1352
00:49:59,204 --> 00:50:03,125
Hi, baby bottoms.
Did you have sweet dreams?
1353
00:50:03,166 --> 00:50:06,586
Like a domino
1354
00:50:06,628 --> 00:50:08,547
No, no, no
1355
00:50:08,588 --> 00:50:10,173
She takes care of Liam.
1356
00:50:10,215 --> 00:50:13,260
[Debbie] Oh, Liam.
1357
00:50:13,301 --> 00:50:14,219
Got him in time.
1358
00:50:14,261 --> 00:50:17,889
For you and me, yeah, yeah
1359
00:50:17,931 --> 00:50:21,101
She cares about Liam,
because she takes care of him.
1360
00:50:21,143 --> 00:50:23,270
I'm sorry, I keep rambling.
1361
00:50:23,311 --> 00:50:25,564
How come my key doesn't work?
1362
00:50:25,605 --> 00:50:26,606
I changed the locks.
1363
00:50:26,648 --> 00:50:27,774
You have the rest of the cash
1364
00:50:27,816 --> 00:50:29,067
you owe me yet?
1365
00:50:29,109 --> 00:50:30,110
Nice job.
1366
00:50:30,152 --> 00:50:32,821
When you get the other 18.75,
I'll get you a key.
1367
00:50:32,863 --> 00:50:34,114
Time
1368
00:50:34,156 --> 00:50:36,700
Yeah I got time
1369
00:50:36,742 --> 00:50:38,535
And it's all right
1370
00:50:38,577 --> 00:50:41,913
[Ethan] This is kinda like
a once-in-a-life opportunity.
1371
00:50:41,955 --> 00:50:43,415
I mean, I'm really
having fun.
1372
00:50:43,457 --> 00:50:45,208
[Emma] It's just really cool
'cause there's
1373
00:50:45,250 --> 00:50:47,836
all these lights and four cam--
two cameras.
1374
00:50:47,878 --> 00:50:48,962
Two or three cameras.
1375
00:50:49,004 --> 00:50:51,173
There's all the special
effects and everything.
1376
00:50:51,214 --> 00:50:52,674
It's just...
it's, like, amazing.
1377
00:50:52,716 --> 00:50:53,592
It's so cool.
1378
00:50:53,633 --> 00:50:55,010
[man]
Go really shy on this one.
1379
00:50:55,052 --> 00:50:57,345
So should I not--
should I laugh still,
1380
00:50:57,387 --> 00:50:58,764
but, like, a little giggle?
1381
00:50:58,805 --> 00:51:00,057
Like ha-ha.
1382
00:51:00,098 --> 00:51:01,224
-[indistinct]
-Got it.
1383
00:51:01,266 --> 00:51:03,268
Debbie has faith
that one day maybe
1384
00:51:03,310 --> 00:51:06,521
her family will be the picture-
perfect paradise family.
1385
00:51:06,563 --> 00:51:08,982
It serves you right
for fucking that slut
1386
00:51:09,024 --> 00:51:10,358
with the cauliflower ears!
1387
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:12,402
-I was not fucking her!
-Yes, you did!
1388
00:51:12,444 --> 00:51:15,447
It was a blow job!
1389
00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:16,698
Ow!
1390
00:51:16,740 --> 00:51:17,866
Time
1391
00:51:17,908 --> 00:51:20,535
Yeah I got time
1392
00:51:20,577 --> 00:51:23,330
And it's all right
1393
00:51:23,371 --> 00:51:27,459
Hey, hey, hey, hey
1394
00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:28,835
Time
1395
00:51:28,877 --> 00:51:31,421
Yeah I got time
1396
00:51:31,463 --> 00:51:34,341
And it's all right
1397
00:51:34,382 --> 00:51:37,052
Hey, hey, hey, hey
1398
00:51:37,094 --> 00:51:39,679
Hey, hey, hey, hey
1399
00:51:39,721 --> 00:51:42,516
Hey, hey, hey, hey
1400
00:51:42,557 --> 00:51:45,227
Hey, hey, hey, hey
1401
00:51:45,268 --> 00:51:47,896
Hey, hey, hey, hey
1402
00:51:47,938 --> 00:51:58,114
Hey, hey, hey, hey
90920
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