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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:04,000 www.vse-subtitri.ru 2 00:00:03,110 --> 00:00:04,960 Kids, breakfast! 3 00:00:05,310 --> 00:00:07,210 Kids? 4 00:00:07,211 --> 00:00:08,481 Phil, would you get them? 5 00:00:08,482 --> 00:00:09,920 Yeah, just a sec. 6 00:00:14,340 --> 00:00:18,810 That is so, Kids, get down here! 7 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:22,960 Why are you guys yelling at us, when we're way upstairs, just text me. 8 00:00:23,310 --> 00:00:26,500 Alright, That's not gonna happen, and, wow, you're not wearing that outfit. 9 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,410 What's Wrong with it? - Honey, do you have anything to say to you're daughter... 10 00:00:29,411 --> 00:00:30,350 ... about her skirt? 11 00:00:31,230 --> 00:00:33,500 Sorry? Oh yeah, that looks really cute sweetheart! 12 00:00:33,790 --> 00:00:37,000 Thanks! - No, it's way to short, people know you're a girl... 13 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:38,580 ... you don't need to prove it to them. 14 00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:40,830 Luke got his head stuck in the banister again. 15 00:00:40,831 --> 00:00:41,830 I got it. 16 00:00:41,970 --> 00:00:44,420 Where's the babyoil? - It's on our bedside tip... 17 00:00:45,690 --> 00:00:46,690 ...I Don't know, find it. 18 00:00:49,070 --> 00:00:49,870 Come on! 19 00:00:50,020 --> 00:00:54,440 I... was out of control growing up, there, you know, i said it. 20 00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:59,770 I, just don't want my kids to make the same bad mistakes i made. 21 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:05,460 If hayley never would exhibit on a beach in florida, half naked... I've done my job. 22 00:01:05,820 --> 00:01:07,640 OUR job. - Right... 23 00:01:08,550 --> 00:01:10,500 I've done our job. 24 00:01:21,590 --> 00:01:22,480 That was a penalty! 25 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:25,130 Gloria, there Owen's six, let's take it down a notch. 26 00:01:25,980 --> 00:01:27,880 We're, verry different. 27 00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:32,610 He's from the city. He has big business. 28 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:37,430 I'm come from a small village, very poor, but very very beautiful. 29 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:41,520 It's the number one village in north-columbia, before al the... 30 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:42,920 ... what's the word? - Murders. 31 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:45,190 Yes, the murders. 32 00:01:45,890 --> 00:01:47,680 Manny, stop him! 33 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,300 Dammit, manny! 34 00:01:55,690 --> 00:01:58,080 Come on, coach! You've gotta take that kid out! 35 00:01:58,500 --> 00:01:59,740 You wanna take him out? 36 00:01:59,930 --> 00:02:01,260 How about I take you out!? 37 00:02:01,690 --> 00:02:02,630 Honey, honey... 38 00:02:02,630 --> 00:02:07,360 Why don't you worry about you're son! He'd spend the first half with his hands in his pants! 39 00:02:10,810 --> 00:02:12,610 I wanted to tell her that for the last six weeks... 40 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,890 I'm Josh, Brian's dad. - Hi, I'm Gloria Pritchett... 41 00:02:17,890 --> 00:02:20,470 ... Manny's mother. Oh, this must be you're dad. 42 00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:22,580 Her dad? Uh, no, no, that's funny. 43 00:02:22,940 --> 00:02:25,750 Actually no, I'm her husband! Don't be fooled by the... 44 00:02:26,820 --> 00:02:27,820 Give me a second here. 45 00:02:34,950 --> 00:02:37,800 She's adorable! - Oh, thank you! 46 00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:40,640 Hey precious... - Hello. 47 00:02:42,350 --> 00:02:47,140 We've just adopted her from vietnam and we're bringing her home for the first time. 48 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,030 She's an angel. You and you're wive must be thrilled! 49 00:02:50,150 --> 00:02:53,400 Sorry, sorry, sorry, daddy needed snacks. 50 00:02:57,370 --> 00:03:00,160 So, what are we talking about? 51 00:03:01,010 --> 00:03:04,960 We have been together for... five years now? 52 00:03:05,410 --> 00:03:08,350 And we've decided we really wanted to have a baby... 53 00:03:08,350 --> 00:03:12,150 ... so, we initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate 54 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:15,750 Then we figured, they already mean enough, can you imagine one of them pregnant? 55 00:03:15,750 --> 00:03:16,750 No, thank you. 56 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:22,320 You saw that right? Everybody fonding up to lillian, then you walk on... 57 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,000 ... and suddenly it's all 58 00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:29,800 I'm gonna give a speech. - You are not giving a speech ... 59 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:33,790 ... you gonna stuck with this people for the next five hours! - You'r right, it's okay, i'm sorry. 60 00:03:33,790 --> 00:03:34,790 Honey, look at that baby with those creampuffs. 61 00:03:35,530 --> 00:03:41,550 Okay, excuse me. But this baby would be growin up in a crowded orphanage if it wasn't for us creampuffs ... 62 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:44,470 ... and you know what, to all of you who judge, hear this, 63 00:03:44,470 --> 00:03:50,950 love knows no race, creed or gender and shame on you! You small minded, ignorant fe... 64 00:03:50,950 --> 00:03:52,200 Mitchel? - What? 65 00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:54,430 She's got the creampuffs. 66 00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:04,160 We would like to pay for everyone's headset's. 67 00:04:05,750 --> 00:04:10,750 MODERN FAMILY SEASON 1 EPISODE 1 68 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,210 Buddy, why do you keep getting stuk like this? 69 00:04:20,210 --> 00:04:21,800 I can get out this time. 70 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:25,760 I'm just gonna say it... he needs to be checked by a specialist. 71 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,720 There! Be free, Excalibur! 72 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,240 I'm having a friend over today. - Who? 73 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:34,900 You don't know him. - Him? 74 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:40,200 Oeh, a boy! You gonna kiss him? - Shut up 75 00:04:42,690 --> 00:04:45,780 Luke, Alex, why don't you take it outside, okay? - And do what? 76 00:04:45,780 --> 00:04:49,200 Fighting a son, it would be a nice change. I'm kidding! 77 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,930 Who's the boy? - His name is Dylan ... 78 00:04:52,490 --> 00:04:56,020 ... I might as well just tell him not to come, because you guys are just going to embarrase me again. 79 00:04:56,020 --> 00:05:00,900 Hang on a second, you're fifteen, it's the first time you've had a boy over 80 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,480 I'm bound to be a little suprised, but... We're not gonna embarasse you! 81 00:05:04,490 --> 00:05:06,480 I'm better go charge the camcorder. 82 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,550 I'm kidding! Come on! Who are you talking to? 83 00:05:10,550 --> 00:05:13,010 I'm a cool dad. That's my thang. 84 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:18,100 I surf the web, i text LOL Laugh Out Loud, 85 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,710 OMG, Oh My God, 86 00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:20,710 WTF, Why The Face. 87 00:05:22,270 --> 00:05:25,830 You know, i know all the dances to High School Musical, so. 88 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,860 MOM! DAD! - What happend? 89 00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:40,100 Luke just shot me! - I didn't mean to! 90 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:44,350 Are you okay? - No, the little bitch shot me! 91 00:05:44,350 --> 00:05:47,200 Language! The're only plastick bb's! 92 00:05:47,260 --> 00:05:48,700 It was an accident! 93 00:05:48,810 --> 00:05:52,190 What did I tell you what happened if you got him a gun? Deal with this! 94 00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:54,750 Buddy... Uncool. 95 00:05:56,150 --> 00:05:57,080 That's it? 96 00:05:57,970 --> 00:06:00,770 No, the agreement was that, if he shoots someone ... 97 00:06:00,770 --> 00:06:01,770 ... you shoot him. 98 00:06:02,190 --> 00:06:03,770 We were serious about that? 99 00:06:03,770 --> 00:06:06,200 Yes, we were and now you have to follow through. 100 00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:09,720 I'm so sorry! - Liar. 101 00:06:10,950 --> 00:06:13,240 Go! - He's got a birthday party. 102 00:06:13,250 --> 00:06:14,630 What's more importand here dad? 103 00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:18,730 You can shoot him afterwards, he'll be home at two. - I can't shoot him at two, showing our house at two. 104 00:06:18,730 --> 00:06:19,730 What about three? 105 00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:24,600 No, he's at a soccergame at three, and then... Oh, we gotta leave for that dinner thing in five. 106 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:28,380 4:15, you can shoot him at 4:15. - Yeah, I guess that works for me. 107 00:06:28,900 --> 00:06:31,530 Shoot Luke. - Sorry dude, it's on the calender 108 00:06:32,700 --> 00:06:33,700 Oh, come on! 109 00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:38,660 I'm quitting soccer, it is a game for children. 110 00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:43,110 No, you're not quitting. You would've stoped that goal if you weren't staring at that little girl. 111 00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:45,520 She is not a girl, She is a woman. 112 00:06:48,730 --> 00:06:52,400 You know Gloria, that blowup with that other mom, why do you have to do things like that? 113 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:55,090 If someone sais somthing about my family, i'm going to... - I'm just ... 114 00:06:55,090 --> 00:06:59,090 ... saying you could take it down here a little bit. - Well yeah, but that's when you live down here ... 115 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:00,460 ... but i live up here! 116 00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:03,730 You don't have to be so emotional all the time, that's all I'm saying. 117 00:07:03,739 --> 00:07:07,504 Manny, you're with me on this, right? - I wanna tell Brenda Feldman I love her. 118 00:07:07,505 --> 00:07:08,288 Oh, for God's sake. 119 00:07:08,289 --> 00:07:11,747 Honey, she's 16. - Oh, it's okay for you to take another lover? 120 00:07:11,749 --> 00:07:12,749 Watch it! 121 00:07:12,755 --> 00:07:14,752 I want to go to the mall where she works. 122 00:07:14,754 --> 00:07:18,075 But first we need to get my white shirt, the silk one. 123 00:07:18,077 --> 00:07:20,275 Okay, if that's what you really want to do. 124 00:07:20,277 --> 00:07:26,010 Seriously, not to be the evil stepdad, but if you put on a puffy white shirt and declare your love for a 16 year old ... 125 00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:29,389 ... you're gonna be swinging from the flagpole in you're puffy white underpants! 126 00:07:29,391 --> 00:07:30,391 Stop the car! 127 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:31,480 Where you going? 128 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:40,445 You hurt his feelings. - Well, if it toughens him up a littlebit, then ... 129 00:07:40,448 --> 00:07:42,159 ... oh, jeez, he's picking flowers! 130 00:07:43,329 --> 00:07:50,370 Manny is verry pasioned, just like his father. My first husband is very handsome but, to crazy. 131 00:07:50,372 --> 00:07:56,094 It seemd like all what we did was, fight and make love. 132 00:07:56,096 --> 00:07:59,200 One time, i'm not kidding you, we fell out of the window together. 133 00:07:59,907 --> 00:08:01,395 Which one we're you doing? 134 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,691 I'm hearing this for the first time! 135 00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:08,234 This doesn't worry you? 136 00:08:08,559 --> 00:08:13,035 She barely slept in the plane, and she's stil wide awake. - Oh, stop worrying! 137 00:08:13,808 --> 00:08:18,390 That orphinage, it was all woman. Maybe she cannot fall asleep unless she feels a woman's shape. 138 00:08:18,395 --> 00:08:19,791 I guess that's possible. 139 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:23,538 So, here. - What the hell is that suppose to mean? 140 00:08:24,105 --> 00:08:27,845 Yes, i've gained a few extra pounds while we expecting the baby. 141 00:08:28,655 --> 00:08:33,290 Which has been verry difficult. But, apparently you're body does a nesting, very maturnal ... 142 00:08:33,291 --> 00:08:38,992 ... primal thing, were it retaines nutrisians. Some sort of molecular fysiology thing. 143 00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:43,032 But that's science, you can't fight it. 144 00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:48,805 I'm not saying anything. 145 00:08:48,841 --> 00:08:50,378 You're saying everything. 146 00:08:51,791 --> 00:08:54,864 Count to three, one, t... - Three. - Okay. 147 00:08:56,826 --> 00:08:59,071 O My God, do you love it? -Yes, I... 148 00:09:00,443 --> 00:09:01,565 What the hell is that? 149 00:09:01,816 --> 00:09:04,000 I had Andre do it when we we're gone. 150 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,044 Is that us? 151 00:09:05,413 --> 00:09:06,455 With wings? 152 00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:08,940 We're floating above her, always there to protect her. 153 00:09:08,942 --> 00:09:12,707 Well, that's reassuring, right Lilly? Yeah, we tore you away from everyting you know but ... 154 00:09:12,708 --> 00:09:15,710 ... don't worry, things are normal here. You're fathers are floating fairy's! 155 00:09:15,718 --> 00:09:19,410 Can you call Andre? Have him paint someting a little less gay? 156 00:09:19,430 --> 00:09:21,925 We need to stop having friends with names like Andre. 157 00:09:22,799 --> 00:09:26,349 Redheaded dad, is angry daddy. - No I'm not. - Yes, you are. 158 00:09:26,350 --> 00:09:29,600 Even pepper pointed it out on the way home from the airport. - Okay, that's anotherone pepper! 159 00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:31,209 Okay, wat's up? 160 00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:33,746 I ... 161 00:09:35,892 --> 00:09:38,670 I never told my family we were adopting a baby. 162 00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:43,020 I know. - You do? 163 00:09:43,346 --> 00:09:45,372 And I don't blame you, I know your family. 164 00:09:45,374 --> 00:09:48,475 You tell them, they say something judgementally. 165 00:09:48,783 --> 00:09:49,476 Exactly! - You get mad. 166 00:09:49,954 --> 00:09:53,421 I know, and it's supposed to be nothing, but joyfull suddenly turns into this huge fight. 167 00:09:53,422 --> 00:09:55,840 Who wants a big emotional scene like that? 168 00:09:55,841 --> 00:09:58,547 Thank you, i'm so reliefed you understand. 169 00:09:59,169 --> 00:10:01,274 I invited them over for dinner tonight. 170 00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,543 What? - I had to! 171 00:10:04,544 --> 00:10:07,116 This would have gone on forever. You're an avoider. 172 00:10:07,116 --> 00:10:10,900 No, I'm calling them now, I'm cancelling. - No, you're not! 173 00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,500 You're telling your family you've adopted a baby, tonight. 174 00:10:13,501 --> 00:10:15,005 And you do have avoidings issues! 175 00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:19,449 Are you really not hearing this things? 176 00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:24,965 Don't answer it, i'll get it! 177 00:10:32,971 --> 00:10:35,915 Heey, you must be Dylan. - Hey, Dylan, yeah. 178 00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:37,150 I'm Haley's mother. 179 00:10:37,468 --> 00:10:39,367 Hey, come on, let's go. 180 00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:41,439 Hang on one second 181 00:10:43,106 --> 00:10:47,933 Dylan... You're still in High School? - Yeah, i'm a Senior. 182 00:10:49,468 --> 00:10:53,974 Phil, sweety, honey. He is Dylan and he is a Senior. 183 00:10:56,802 --> 00:10:57,900 Let me meet this playa. 184 00:10:59,862 --> 00:11:00,862 Phil Dunphy, jo! 185 00:11:06,227 --> 00:11:10,082 It's like that, you just start down on him and let the eyes do the work. 186 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:11,826 You're mouth might be saying: Hey, we cool! 187 00:11:12,455 --> 00:11:14,399 But you're eyes are like: No, we not! 188 00:11:14,782 --> 00:11:17,341 Nice to meet you! No, it's not! 189 00:11:18,585 --> 00:11:21,880 'S all good? No, 's it is'n... 190 00:11:22,366 --> 00:11:23,366 Jo. - Jo. 191 00:11:25,190 --> 00:11:27,926 Okay, I've seen two guys -Wait 192 00:11:27,916 --> 00:11:28,916 You two ... 193 00:11:32,257 --> 00:11:35,019 ... two keep it real? You k'now what it mean, son? 194 00:11:34,785 --> 00:11:36,037 Not really. 195 00:11:36,999 --> 00:11:38,636 Please stop. - That's cool! 196 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:44,115 Oh, God, That's my back! Owh, oh, I slipped in the babyoil. 197 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:50,770 Ooh, whe're you from originally? I could defeat you if it came to a phisical confrontation! 198 00:11:51,355 --> 00:11:55,020 I don't know about this, shall I call a doctor? - No, no, no. 199 00:11:56,770 --> 00:11:58,885 You're verry strong homes. - Thanks. 200 00:11:59,012 --> 00:12:01,365 Okay, nice, nice soft landing 201 00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:07,940 Okay, I am on my side, so flip me right back and we're good. We'll be good 202 00:12:08,943 --> 00:12:12,436 Just need to get flipped right on my back, we should be fine, so. 203 00:12:12,656 --> 00:12:13,656 Feldman. 204 00:12:15,575 --> 00:12:18,218 What is that? - A poem i've written for Brenda Feldman. 205 00:12:18,219 --> 00:12:22,338 Ofcourse that is. - I put my toughts into words, and now my words into action! 206 00:12:22,468 --> 00:12:25,120 Ey, I give you 50 bucks not to do this. 207 00:12:25,324 --> 00:12:28,010 I'm eleven years old, what am I gonna do with money? 208 00:12:28,031 --> 00:12:29,331 What are you gonna do with a sixteen year old? 209 00:12:30,829 --> 00:12:31,829 It's like a bullfight! 210 00:12:32,755 --> 00:12:33,990 Ever seen a bullfight? 211 00:12:35,198 --> 00:12:36,198 I can't watch this. 212 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,793 You're in such a bad mood. And I know why, 213 00:12:39,484 --> 00:12:43,534 It's because that man thought you were my father. - No - Yes -NO 214 00:12:44,062 --> 00:12:46,010 When you say no like that, it's always yes. 215 00:12:46,197 --> 00:12:49,663 Come on, we're in the mall, let's get you like some yougher clothes ... 216 00:12:49,664 --> 00:12:52,531 ... there's a store there that I know... - I don't need any youngher clothes! 217 00:12:52,807 --> 00:12:56,107 And I don't care what some jackass in a pair of ribbed jeans thinks about me. 218 00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:59,747 Good, you shouldn't. You should only care what I think. 219 00:13:00,264 --> 00:13:04,891 I love you, and I don't care how old you are. So stop beeing an gloomygoos, 220 00:13:04,892 --> 00:13:08,230 and stop beeing so hard on Manny. - The only reason i'm hard on Manny ... 221 00:13:08,231 --> 00:13:09,231 ... is just because i don't wanna see him make a fool of himself. 222 00:13:11,543 --> 00:13:13,730 And I can smell that hairgoo of his from here! 223 00:13:14,114 --> 00:13:16,730 Look, I don't know what's gonna happen to him over there ... 224 00:13:17,161 --> 00:13:20,712 ... but you're his family now. And that means only one thing. 225 00:13:20,905 --> 00:13:24,440 You be there winning his back, not to spit in his face! 226 00:13:25,652 --> 00:13:26,160 What? 227 00:13:26,854 --> 00:13:29,964 Something my mom always sais, it's georgeous in spanish. 228 00:13:31,033 --> 00:13:32,033 Look, he's there. 229 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:37,665 She has a boyfriend. 230 00:13:40,972 --> 00:13:45,395 I gave her my heart. She gave me a picture of me as an oldtime sheriff. 231 00:13:48,136 --> 00:13:49,892 That was pretty stupidly, wasn't it? 232 00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:53,129 No mi amore, it´s was brave, right Jay? Brave. 233 00:13:54,289 --> 00:13:57,795 I.. b... you'll know better next time. Come on! Let's get a pretzel. 234 00:14:06,251 --> 00:14:09,578 Oh, excuse me, sir? We asked all mall-walkers to stay to the right. 235 00:14:23,953 --> 00:14:26,656 Alex, get out! MOM! 236 00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:28,501 Alex, leave you're sister alone! 237 00:14:28,502 --> 00:14:32,785 I was just getting my book, gosh! - I know sweety, but you need to respect her privacy. 238 00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:38,023 What are they doing up there? Nothing, lying in her bed, watching a movie. 239 00:14:39,955 --> 00:14:46,006 Okay... Okay... I'm making a cake for tonight, you wanna help me with the frosting? 240 00:14:46,532 --> 00:14:47,532 Sure. 241 00:14:49,527 --> 00:14:56,057 So, you know if Haley got pregnant, would you ever pretend she got mono for a few months and then tell everyone the baby's yours? 242 00:14:56,747 --> 00:14:57,333 What? 243 00:14:57,334 --> 00:15:03,922 The senior at school was out sick for four months, but she was out breastfeeding in an cleanup carwash. 244 00:15:09,611 --> 00:15:12,960 Buddy, what are you wearing? - Nothing. 245 00:15:12,961 --> 00:15:16,063 No jacket, no hat. 246 00:15:16,639 --> 00:15:19,855 How many pairs of underwear do you have on? - One ... 247 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,400 ... Six. 248 00:15:22,629 --> 00:15:25,404 First of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat, 249 00:15:25,405 --> 00:15:29,182 and how awesome would it be to have a fake little brother who's really my nephew. 250 00:15:29,183 --> 00:15:31,550 Haley is not getting pregnant! 251 00:15:32,352 --> 00:15:33,297 I'm just saying if. 252 00:15:33,298 --> 00:15:37,575 I know, and I know you like to make trouble for your sister but it's not gonna work this time. 253 00:15:37,576 --> 00:15:40,356 You know why? 'Cause you're sister is a good girl. 254 00:15:40,645 --> 00:15:43,555 I know, I was just like her when I was... 255 00:15:44,712 --> 00:15:50,098 I want you to know, I'm not enjoying this. This is an emportant lesson that you're leaning, so. 256 00:15:50,618 --> 00:15:51,618 'S all good, keep it... 257 00:15:55,331 --> 00:15:59,055 You're to close, it's gonna hurt. - It's supposed to hurt! 258 00:15:59,196 --> 00:16:00,464 And why are you smiling? 259 00:16:00,871 --> 00:16:02,453 I'm... What? 260 00:16:14,448 --> 00:16:18,368 Oh, forget it. I can't do this. The point is, you're scared. 261 00:16:18,551 --> 00:16:19,794 I think you've learned you're lesson. 262 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:23,163 Mom?! 263 00:16:24,369 --> 00:16:28,320 What are you doing? - Hey, I was just dropping off some laundry, 264 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:28,948 this is a bad time? 265 00:16:28,949 --> 00:16:29,949 Yeah... 266 00:16:30,335 --> 00:16:31,663 Oh, okay. 267 00:16:33,402 --> 00:16:35,054 Can you shut the door please? 268 00:16:35,901 --> 00:16:37,943 Actually we're just go ahead and leave that open. 269 00:16:38,156 --> 00:16:39,021 Why? 270 00:16:39,022 --> 00:16:42,046 Because I have euh, seen this little show before: 271 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,930 Lying on the bed with a tall, senior. 272 00:16:44,939 --> 00:16:47,459 one minute you're just friends, watching Falcon Crest, 273 00:16:47,460 --> 00:16:50,196 and the next you're lying underneath the air-hockey table with you're bra un-pocket! 274 00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:51,443 Mom! 275 00:16:52,418 --> 00:16:54,397 You hit my bone! - It was an accident! 276 00:16:54,398 --> 00:16:58,262 I tought we were friends! - I am your friend! 277 00:16:58,507 --> 00:17:03,220 Dad?! Dad, you have got to talk to mom, she is like completely freaking out and emberassing me. 278 00:17:03,225 --> 00:17:06,100 Well, honey, you're mom isn't always as cool about things as I... 279 00:17:06,101 --> 00:17:07,767 ... What is with this thing! 280 00:17:10,332 --> 00:17:14,756 My dad, isn't completely comfortable with... 281 00:17:14,974 --> 00:17:18,300 ... This, ehum, he still does this thing. It's been five years now. 282 00:17:18,301 --> 00:17:22,615 And he still does this thing were he announces himself before walking into any room were in. 283 00:17:22,807 --> 00:17:25,676 Just to make sure he doesn't ever see us kiss. 284 00:17:26,391 --> 00:17:28,157 Wish my mother had that system. 285 00:17:28,796 --> 00:17:30,618 Remember? - Not now. 286 00:17:31,346 --> 00:17:35,563 I still can't beleve you did this to me! - Would you get in the spirit of things! 287 00:17:35,564 --> 00:17:37,258 It's a celebration! 288 00:17:40,408 --> 00:17:41,298 Oh God. 289 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:48,529 I'm gonna go get Lily ready, and I want you to just come straight out with it, you can do this! 290 00:17:48,530 --> 00:17:53,210 Sportsguy-chest-bump, sportsguy-chest-bump! Do it, GO! 291 00:18:00,501 --> 00:18:05,029 Heey, how are you? Hi guys! 292 00:18:06,176 --> 00:18:10,250 Well thank you, thanks. - Don't thank us open it, dad is right behind 293 00:18:10,493 --> 00:18:15,582 Knock, knock, we're here! Coming in! - Don't worry dad, nothing gay going on here. 294 00:18:16,472 --> 00:18:18,825 May I take you're multicoloured coat and you're bejeweled cap? 295 00:18:18,830 --> 00:18:19,830 Yeah. 296 00:18:20,411 --> 00:18:25,062 Hey Jay - Gloria, hi! How are you? 297 00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:28,410 Hi Gloria, how are you? What a beautiful dress! 298 00:18:28,414 --> 00:18:31,000 Thank you, Phil! - Oh, Okay. 299 00:18:32,526 --> 00:18:36,120 Phil! She said Phil, not feel! 300 00:18:36,138 --> 00:18:39,067 So how was you're trip? - It was good, it was good actually but... 301 00:18:39,068 --> 00:18:42,390 ...about that I have something that I need to tell you guys. 302 00:18:43,446 --> 00:18:48,410 We didn't just go to Vietnam for pleasure. We, kinda have some big news. 303 00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:51,137 Oh, God, if Cam comes out there with boobs, I'm leaving! 304 00:18:51,138 --> 00:18:53,565 Dad! - I hope he didn't embarrase you, mom. 305 00:18:53,940 --> 00:18:58,289 Don't mind her, Haley had her first boy over today, and Phil shot him. 306 00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:06,217 Anyway, so about a year ago. Cam and I sort have feeling this longing for something more... 307 00:19:06,216 --> 00:19:08,000 ...like, maybe a baby. 308 00:19:08,005 --> 00:19:09,234 Woooh, that's a bad idea. 309 00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:12,012 What do you mean, bad idea? - Well, kids need a mother! 310 00:19:12,434 --> 00:19:14,330 I mean, if you two guys are bored, get a dog! 311 00:19:14,335 --> 00:19:16,040 We're not bored, dad! 312 00:19:16,046 --> 00:19:18,908 I support you Mitchell, and tough you're not my son 313 00:19:18,909 --> 00:19:24,568 I think what dad is trying to say is that, Mitchell you're a little uptight, kids bring chaos... 314 00:19:24,569 --> 00:19:26,165 ...and you don't handle well. 315 00:19:26,945 --> 00:19:30,296 That's not what's it's saying what you saying. And it's insulting in an whole different way. 316 00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:33,267 Okay, people, let's all chillax! 317 00:19:34,139 --> 00:19:38,227 Where's uncle Cameron? - Finally, thank you, someone who's not insulting me, 318 00:19:38,228 --> 00:19:39,920 noticed he's not here. 319 00:19:40,276 --> 00:19:43,377 So, that's the big announcement. You two broke up. 320 00:19:43,378 --> 00:19:47,720 Well a baby wasn't gonna help that anyway! Let me tell you, your'll better of, because 321 00:19:47,721 --> 00:19:49,344 he was a bit of a dramaqueen. 322 00:19:49,345 --> 00:19:56,443 Stop, stop, you come into my house and you insult me and my boyfriend who is by the way not that dramatic! 323 00:20:12,713 --> 00:20:16,096 We've adopted a baby. Her name is Lilly 324 00:20:16,701 --> 00:20:17,701 Exciting! 325 00:20:17,834 --> 00:20:21,285 Just turn it off. - I can't turn it off, it's who I am! 326 00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:23,783 The music! - Oh, yes, the music. 327 00:20:23,834 --> 00:20:24,834 Come, say hello Lilly. 328 00:20:36,362 --> 00:20:39,755 Lilly? Isn't that gonna be hard for her to say? - Phil. 329 00:20:39,756 --> 00:20:45,572 Excuse me... Okay, I know that I said I thought this was a bad idea. 330 00:20:45,672 --> 00:20:46,672 But... 331 00:20:48,026 --> 00:20:49,171 What do I know? 332 00:20:49,799 --> 00:20:54,869 I mean, It's not like I wrote a book on fatherhood. I'm trying whole my life to get it right, i'm still screwing up. 333 00:20:56,298 --> 00:20:57,140 Right, Manny? 334 00:20:57,561 --> 00:21:00,732 I wrote a song about it in the car. - Ofcourse you did. 335 00:21:02,476 --> 00:21:07,062 Anyway, I'm happy for ya! And you should know that... 336 00:21:07,231 --> 00:21:12,202 ...I'm not here to spit in your face, I'm here to blow at your back. 337 00:21:14,464 --> 00:21:16,994 It's supposed to sound better in spanish. 338 00:21:27,353 --> 00:21:28,684 Anyhow, Mitch. 339 00:21:30,252 --> 00:21:33,736 No, dad, it's... I got it, I got it. 340 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:37,134 She want's her daddy. - Do you wanna meet grandpa? 341 00:21:37,518 --> 00:21:40,690 You're kidding? She's one of us now, let me see that little potsticker! 342 00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:44,749 Eey, you're a cutie, aren't you! 343 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,501 We're from different worlds. 344 00:21:51,156 --> 00:21:52,808 Yet we somehow fit together. 345 00:21:53,866 --> 00:21:54,866 Love is what's binds us. 346 00:21:56,531 --> 00:21:58,737 Through fair, or stormy weather. 347 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,000 I stand before you now with only one agenda 348 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,846 To let you know my heart is yours. Feldman, Brenda 349 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,425 I mean seriously! 350 00:22:11,263 --> 00:22:14,500 Look, so far, he hasn't beaten me at basketball. 351 00:22:14,593 --> 00:22:15,593 2-0 352 00:22:19,556 --> 00:22:22,211 Get that! Will you step out of my kitchen! 353 00:22:22,212 --> 00:22:23,212 Could you just do me a favour and just grab... 354 00:22:25,837 --> 00:22:26,837 How's the weather down there? 355 00:22:27,084 --> 00:22:31,155 But, when the day comes that he does win, if, you know, if when... 356 00:22:31,156 --> 00:22:32,156 ...he beats me. 357 00:22:32,658 --> 00:22:35,770 I'm just gonna be like, well done! Well done! 358 00:22:35,790 --> 00:22:38,089 Just let him, just support him. 359 00:22:38,128 --> 00:22:41,801 In that kind of stuff. I'm probably just wanna go like, 360 00:22:41,850 --> 00:22:44,276 2 out of 3, and just see what happens there, but. 30950

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