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and may containmature subject matter.
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Viewer discretionis advised.
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and may containmature(groaning)atter.
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-Suzette?
-Dwayne?
5
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:19,030
Oh!
6
00:00:19,166 --> 00:00:20,966
-Oh, non. Did we...?
7
00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:24,070
-Ugh, of course, we did. Dammit!
8
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,230
-Hopefully, no one
saw us together.
9
00:00:27,233 --> 00:00:29,333
-Oh, shit-sticks.
10
00:00:30,367 --> 00:00:33,197
(groaning in effort)
11
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:35,403
-Huh? Why are you wearing
my clothes?
12
00:00:35,533 --> 00:00:36,933
-Huh?
13
00:00:37,066 --> 00:00:39,496
I don't know, but my ass looks
exquisite in these yoga pants.
14
00:00:39,633 --> 00:00:41,633
Um, yeah!
-Argh...
15
00:00:42,633 --> 00:00:45,003
(apocalyptic music)
16
00:00:48,133 --> 00:00:51,173
(theme music)
17
00:01:09,734 --> 00:01:11,404
(growling)
18
00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:17,300
from last night?ything
19
00:01:17,433 --> 00:01:19,333
-I need a minute.
There's a lot to unpack here.
20
00:01:19,467 --> 00:01:22,127
For example,
why are we in the street?
21
00:01:24,066 --> 00:01:26,266
And why is there a giant pig?
-Wait...
22
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,500
If Rafe and Gabe
aren't back yet
23
00:01:28,633 --> 00:01:30,233
and that thing's running loose,
24
00:01:30,367 --> 00:01:33,667
maybe everyone else...?
-...got turned into giant pigs!
25
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,000
-No, you idiot!
They could be dead!
26
00:01:36,133 --> 00:01:38,033
Jesus Christ! Hey!
27
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:40,196
Didn't we run onto each other
at church last night?
28
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:43,533
-Yes! I was coming out of the
confessional. That was awkward.
29
00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:46,267
-Yeah, that was awkward.
Come on!
30
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,400
(chain rattling)
31
00:01:48,533 --> 00:01:52,573
(suspenseful music)
32
00:01:57,133 --> 00:01:58,873
(sad groan)
33
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,300
-Ooh! Ooh! Ah... Ooh!
34
00:02:02,433 --> 00:02:05,973
(moaning)
35
00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:12,327
(whistling)
36
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,104
(long drag, exhalation)
37
00:02:15,233 --> 00:02:17,603
-Argh!
38
00:02:17,734 --> 00:02:20,034
Alright, Lawless,
39
00:02:20,166 --> 00:02:24,096
I'm here to finish giving your
ass the pounding it deserves!
40
00:02:24,233 --> 00:02:26,503
-Bruh, I burned one
a minute ago,
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00:02:26,633 --> 00:02:28,903
so I'm gonna need
some context...
42
00:02:29,033 --> 00:02:32,573
-Oh...
-Oh, wait, I remember you!
43
00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:34,730
Joey Jimjohn from St. Zephyr.
44
00:02:34,867 --> 00:02:38,927
Ah, your wife's the hottie
with the tail, right?
45
00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:42,230
(sigh)
46
00:02:42,367 --> 00:02:46,367
-Fight me! I thought you were
a bloodthirsty wasteland psycho!
47
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:50,130
-I am! But right now,
I just wanna kick back,
48
00:02:50,266 --> 00:02:52,426
mellow out, and eat
this weird chicken thing.
49
00:02:52,567 --> 00:02:54,127
(sniggering)
50
00:02:54,266 --> 00:02:56,626
So, I'll take a rain check on
fighting you, Jeffy Jingletoes.
51
00:02:56,767 --> 00:02:59,597
-Please, I've got nothing left.
52
00:02:59,734 --> 00:03:01,534
I used to be something.
53
00:03:01,667 --> 00:03:04,127
Men feared me,
women lusted after me...
54
00:03:04,266 --> 00:03:07,726
Then, I mutated
into a big jiggly joke!
55
00:03:07,867 --> 00:03:10,667
Please,
I just want to end it.
56
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,270
-That's why you're here?
57
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,930
Alright, I'll help you die,
my mutant homie.
58
00:03:16,066 --> 00:03:18,096
But not for free.
59
00:03:18,233 --> 00:03:21,573
-Oh. Of course. Won't need these
where I'm going.
60
00:03:24,066 --> 00:03:25,596
(gun cocking)
61
00:03:25,734 --> 00:03:27,934
(gunshot, thump)
62
00:03:29,367 --> 00:03:32,197
(groaning)
63
00:03:32,333 --> 00:03:33,903
Oh...
64
00:03:34,934 --> 00:03:37,374
What does this mean?
I can't die?
65
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:41,230
I can't even end my own
miserable existence? What a rip!
66
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,130
-Um...
67
00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:46,766
In all the time I've been
killing people for money,
68
00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:48,930
I've never had
to give a refund.
69
00:03:49,066 --> 00:03:51,126
So, I'm taking you on
as a passion project.
70
00:03:51,266 --> 00:03:55,566
I swear I shall murder you,
Jimbo Jellyroll.
71
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,170
-Oh!
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00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:59,900
(bell ringing)
73
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,630
-(together): Oh!
74
00:04:01,767 --> 00:04:03,297
(sinister organ music)
75
00:04:03,433 --> 00:04:06,103
-Where'd all these big-butt nuns
come from?
76
00:04:06,233 --> 00:04:09,503
-The good Lord didn't send them,
I can tell you that much.
77
00:04:09,633 --> 00:04:12,033
-And the Lord said:
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00:04:12,166 --> 00:04:15,596
"Look on my Works,
ye Mighty, and Despair!"
79
00:04:15,734 --> 00:04:17,104
Oh, hey, Suzette!
80
00:04:17,233 --> 00:04:19,803
-Father... Who crucified you?
81
00:04:19,934 --> 00:04:21,374
-Was it the big-butt nuns?
82
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:24,700
-Oh! No, no, no, no no!
They were your guests.
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00:04:24,834 --> 00:04:27,574
-Mine or Dwayne's? Cause I don't
usually cotton to big butts!
84
00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:30,270
-Um, I remember
taking confession
85
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,200
and then giving communion...
86
00:04:32,333 --> 00:04:34,333
Yes, a lot of giving
and taking...
87
00:04:34,467 --> 00:04:36,767
(sinister music)
88
00:04:39,033 --> 00:04:40,403
-What are you doing here?
89
00:04:40,533 --> 00:04:42,703
-Father Manilla ran out
of wafers,
90
00:04:42,834 --> 00:04:44,874
so I gave him
some edibles I made.
91
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,100
(laughter)
-You gave him what?
92
00:04:47,233 --> 00:04:49,833
(munching and gulping)
Ah...
93
00:04:49,967 --> 00:04:53,597
-I remember those wafers
tasted kind of skunky.
94
00:04:53,734 --> 00:04:56,374
-And I remember
your confessions!
95
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:58,470
Dwayne schtupping Ana!
96
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,570
Suzette seizing
Rafe's sacred virginity
97
00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:04,830
like a rabid Viking
ravishing a maiden!
98
00:05:04,967 --> 00:05:07,027
-Hey, Father, a little
clergy/client privilege
99
00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:09,496
if you don't mind!
Now, about these nuns...
100
00:05:09,633 --> 00:05:11,733
-Ah! travelling theatre troupe!
101
00:05:11,867 --> 00:05:15,097
You two took an interest
in their hip hop musical
102
00:05:15,233 --> 00:05:17,833
Drop it Low for Jesus.
103
00:05:19,367 --> 00:05:23,367
-Wait a sec, man! You can't make
a Jesus show without Jesus!
104
00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:25,400
Father! Come here!
105
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,403
I said come here!
106
00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:31,233
-(trembling voice):
Oh, I don't know about this...
107
00:05:31,367 --> 00:05:33,827
Ooh, mama that feels good!
108
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,827
Pull it tighter.
(rope squeaking)
109
00:05:35,967 --> 00:05:37,567
-Excellent. That's it!
110
00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:39,070
Pretend to be dead.
111
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,830
Like Jesus did before
he jumped up and yelled: "Boo!"
112
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:45,067
(laughing)
Ah, that's in the Bible.
113
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,030
Okay, so I'm gonna be
the director
114
00:05:49,166 --> 00:05:50,826
and you're gonna be
the producer!
115
00:05:50,967 --> 00:05:53,927
-No, no, no. I already told them
I was the director.
116
00:05:54,066 --> 00:05:56,666
-Then, we'll have
to switch clothes!
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00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,830
They'll see me
and think it's you,
118
00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,697
but it'll really be me!
119
00:06:00,834 --> 00:06:03,504
That'll fool them.
(laughter)
120
00:06:03,633 --> 00:06:05,233
(disco music)
121
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,230
Okay, ladies! Action!
122
00:06:10,367 --> 00:06:12,727
(hip-hop beat)
123
00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:20,430
♪ Drop it low for Jesus ♪♪ Make it clap for Jesus ♪
124
00:06:20,567 --> 00:06:23,427
♪ Bring it back for Jesus ♪♪ Shake that ass for Jesus ♪
125
00:06:23,567 --> 00:06:25,727
♪ Jesus's love demands ♪
126
00:06:25,867 --> 00:06:31,467
♪ You pop that asson a handstand ♪
127
00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:37,770
-Um... I still don't get
why we had to switch clothes?
128
00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:39,400
-We were on drugs, Suzette!
129
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:42,773
Don't question drug logic.
That way lies madness!
130
00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:46,630
-And you filled Suzette's pants
very nicely, Dwayne.
131
00:06:46,767 --> 00:06:49,067
-Thank you!
-And after this show,
132
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,730
you led the nuns out of here
133
00:06:50,867 --> 00:06:53,527
like the Pied Piper led the rats
to Ireland,
134
00:06:53,667 --> 00:06:56,467
promising liquor
and other earthly delights.
135
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,200
-Brew N' Chug! Let's go.
136
00:06:59,333 --> 00:07:01,933
-You want us to get you down?
-No!
137
00:07:02,066 --> 00:07:04,666
I am in my happy place!
138
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,630
-Okay...
139
00:07:10,166 --> 00:07:13,566
(whooshing, thumping)
140
00:07:20,033 --> 00:07:21,773
(wheel squeaking)
141
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,570
(match crackling)
142
00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:26,400
(detonation)
143
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,530
(engine roaring)
144
00:07:35,166 --> 00:07:36,796
-Did it work? Are you dead?
145
00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:38,874
-No... It's no use!
146
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,530
I'm cursed with immortality!
147
00:07:41,667 --> 00:07:43,367
-Don't say that. Look at me.
148
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:46,470
We can... Hey, look at me!
We can do this!
149
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,930
Don't give up now.
-Easy for you to say!
150
00:07:49,066 --> 00:07:50,926
Your wife isn't sleeping
with the mayor.
151
00:07:51,066 --> 00:07:54,526
-Mine left me! But did I curl up
in a ball and die?
152
00:07:54,667 --> 00:07:58,397
No! But you will,
Justin Jerrycurl! Now, come on!
153
00:07:58,533 --> 00:08:00,403
Let's try throwing you
off something high.
154
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:06,100
You know, what we're doing
here feels like the culmination
155
00:08:06,233 --> 00:08:09,403
of my life's work.
My magnum opus, if you will.
156
00:08:09,533 --> 00:08:11,703
-Oh! Glad you're enjoying
this...
157
00:08:11,834 --> 00:08:15,234
(long scream)
-Thank me later, bud!
158
00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:20,070
-Finally, things are looking up!
159
00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:25,173
(metal clanking)
160
00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:27,270
-Ana! Who did this to you?
161
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,400
-You did, you stupid idiot!
162
00:08:29,533 --> 00:08:31,233
You were like peas in a pod
last night.
163
00:08:31,367 --> 00:08:33,597
Two demons hell-bent
on destruction...
164
00:08:33,734 --> 00:08:35,904
(grunts)
165
00:08:36,033 --> 00:08:39,233
-Ana, a round of Ale for these
whores... uh, I mean nuns!
166
00:08:39,367 --> 00:08:42,167
-I'm busy. Rafe and Gabe caught
this animal a few days ago
167
00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:44,900
and it seems to have
the ability to self-heal!
168
00:08:45,033 --> 00:08:48,633
-Oh, c'mon. Put away that silly
science stuff and come party!
169
00:08:48,767 --> 00:08:50,467
-Dwayne, no! This is my bar
170
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,700
and the only place in town
I can do my research
171
00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:55,204
without being disturbed
by you backwater yokels.
172
00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:57,573
-Ana, these are guests
in our town
173
00:08:57,700 --> 00:09:00,070
and it's my mayoral edict
174
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,430
that you serve them
some refreshments!
175
00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:04,697
-Yeah, c'mon, Ana.
The mayor decrees:
176
00:09:04,834 --> 00:09:07,604
get these nuns
fu-fu-f(beep)-up!
177
00:09:07,734 --> 00:09:09,274
-No! I'm not serving tonight.
178
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,930
-You thinking what I'm thinking?
179
00:09:12,066 --> 00:09:13,926
(Ana screams.)
180
00:09:14,066 --> 00:09:16,026
(angry grunts)
181
00:09:16,166 --> 00:09:18,796
-The drinks are on the house!
182
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,434
(cheering, upbeat music)
183
00:09:23,266 --> 00:09:26,266
(women giggling)
184
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,670
-Why aren't there
any hot male nuns?
185
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,930
-You're thinking of monks.
-Monkeys?
186
00:09:31,066 --> 00:09:34,196
-No, monks!
But if you're in bestiality,
187
00:09:34,333 --> 00:09:37,233
you should know,
I may be half-stag
188
00:09:37,367 --> 00:09:39,767
but I'm all man where it counts.
189
00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:41,870
-Not if you were
the last half-man,
190
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,170
half-stag on earth, Dwayne-O.
191
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:47,900
-Oh, I'm sorry, princess.
192
00:09:48,033 --> 00:09:51,133
Hang on, I think I've found you
a knight in shining armour.
193
00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:54,533
-Jesus Christ!
194
00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:56,467
You're trying to get me killed?
195
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,170
Besides, this pig-dog
is your type!
196
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:02,070
(screams)
197
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,970
-What are you idiots doing?
Don't set it loose!
198
00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:07,430
-It's a party! Let the Beast
have a little fun too!
199
00:10:07,567 --> 00:10:09,997
-Suzette, give me the key.
(Dwayne laughs.)
200
00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:16,697
-I've never seen two people
more made for each other.
201
00:10:16,834 --> 00:10:18,804
Soulmates in selfishness!
202
00:10:18,934 --> 00:10:21,874
-You're telling me
the fricking warthog
203
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,600
has the key to these chains?
Come on, Dwayne!
204
00:10:23,734 --> 00:10:25,704
-Hey, you guys gonna
let me out or...
205
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:27,874
(disco music)
206
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,870
Whoa, he is rocking
those yoga pants. Boom!
207
00:10:40,066 --> 00:10:42,066
-So, did I hear
Father Manilla right?
208
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,970
You and Rafe? How can you
do that to poor old Johnny?
209
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:49,030
-Excuse me? I'm pretty sure
"poor old Johnny" was banging
210
00:10:49,166 --> 00:10:51,966
truck stop waitresses two at
a time back before "boomsday".
211
00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:53,770
-That was a mouthful.
And point taken.
212
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:56,700
Still though, what's wrong with
us? Waking up on main street.
213
00:10:56,834 --> 00:10:59,934
-We locked your girlfriend
in a cage, man.
214
00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:02,303
-And we crucified a priest.
215
00:11:04,266 --> 00:11:07,966
(bursts of laughter)
216
00:11:10,767 --> 00:11:13,967
-Oh, God! Where am I?
217
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:15,970
(grunt)
218
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:19,200
Yes! Eat me! Eat me! Please!
219
00:11:19,333 --> 00:11:23,033
(grunt)
Oh! Aw...
220
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:29,500
(retching and sniffing)
221
00:11:29,633 --> 00:11:33,233
Aw... I can't even get eaten
by a monster?
222
00:11:33,367 --> 00:11:36,767
What the hell kinda shitty
post-apocalypse is this?
223
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:44,703
(grunt)
-Huh? Oh God, they're back.
224
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:47,174
Quit it with the axe-throwing,
you guys!
225
00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:49,430
I've taken more shots
to the face than a porn star!
226
00:11:49,567 --> 00:11:50,927
-Yeah, that's great.
227
00:11:51,066 --> 00:11:52,626
Veej, did you see a huge
pig-type thing run by?
228
00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:54,997
-Uh, did we do this to you,
Vijay?
229
00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:57,333
-You... You don't remember?
230
00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:00,667
You two were absolutely
frigging insane last night!
231
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,200
-(Suzette): Who rules the world?
232
00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:05,003
-(Dwayne): Dwayne and Suzette!
233
00:12:05,133 --> 00:12:07,073
-Okay, guys, be careful.
234
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,070
My face might be a dartboard,
235
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,930
but the rest of me is flesh
and... Blood!
236
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,670
It was terrifying...
237
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:19,630
but also kind of majestic
and incredible, fam!
238
00:12:19,767 --> 00:12:21,667
Are you guys,
like, together now?
239
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,700
Are you gonna combine
your names?
240
00:12:23,834 --> 00:12:26,174
Like "Dwuzette"... "Swayne"!
241
00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:28,800
-(together): Shut up, Vijay!
242
00:12:28,934 --> 00:12:31,034
(sniffing)
243
00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:35,026
-Take it easy there,
pig fella!
244
00:12:35,166 --> 00:12:36,966
-What are you doing?
245
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:38,970
-I don't frigging know.
It seems friendly.
246
00:12:44,033 --> 00:12:46,803
Oh...
(happy grunts)
247
00:12:48,867 --> 00:12:50,527
(laughing)
248
00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:54,727
Jesus Christ, Suzette!
-What? We need that key!
249
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,730
(threatening snarl)
250
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,530
-A true power couple.
251
00:13:06,667 --> 00:13:08,897
You love to see it...
Yeah.
252
00:13:09,033 --> 00:13:12,603
(Suzette pants.)
-(Dwayne): Ow... Ow!
253
00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:16,370
(long scream)
254
00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:18,600
-Come on! It's gaining on us!
255
00:13:18,734 --> 00:13:22,434
-Hey! We don't all do Crossfit
every morning, Suzette!
256
00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:25,397
-Ugh... Come here!
257
00:13:27,133 --> 00:13:31,403
-I don't care for this, but
I do prefer it to the dragging.
258
00:13:34,233 --> 00:13:36,273
-Shit!
259
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,100
-(together): Ah!
260
00:13:38,233 --> 00:13:41,133
(screaming, panting)
261
00:13:41,266 --> 00:13:42,966
(Dwayne screams.)
262
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:46,330
(long scream)
263
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,670
(grunting, panting)
-Oh... no, no, no!
264
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,830
-Dwayne! Lose the pants!
265
00:13:55,967 --> 00:13:58,697
-No! They look so good!
266
00:14:03,266 --> 00:14:05,066
-Dwayne!
-Oh...
267
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,670
No!
268
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,400
Ha, ha!
269
00:14:08,533 --> 00:14:11,773
Yoga pants!
270
00:14:11,900 --> 00:14:14,800
(Suzette grunts.)
271
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,700
-They were my pants, Dwayne.
272
00:14:17,834 --> 00:14:20,234
-You never cared for them
like I did.
273
00:14:21,433 --> 00:14:23,003
Can I have mine back?
274
00:14:23,133 --> 00:14:24,933
-No.
-Argh!
275
00:14:30,967 --> 00:14:33,097
(sad moaning)
276
00:14:33,233 --> 00:14:34,973
-Whoa, Johnny.
277
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,670
No offence, but you look
like shit. What happened?
278
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,070
-Oh, it's all pointless, Danika.
279
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:41,970
I just want to end it.
280
00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:45,030
But I'm trapped
in this gelatinous prison.
281
00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:46,796
-Look, I don't think
you should kill yourself,
282
00:14:46,934 --> 00:14:49,404
but I am a supporter
of dying with dignity.
283
00:14:49,533 --> 00:14:51,403
If you really want it done,
quick and painless,
284
00:14:51,533 --> 00:14:54,103
you could probably jump
into the sinkhole at the Oasis.
285
00:14:55,367 --> 00:14:57,597
-You're a genius!
286
00:14:57,734 --> 00:14:59,274
-But I don't think
you should do it.
287
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,870
-Thanks Danika. Where are you
going with all that weed stuff?
288
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,900
-I'm vibing with the nuns,
actually.
289
00:15:05,033 --> 00:15:06,503
They wanted some ganja!
290
00:15:06,633 --> 00:15:08,533
-Ah, sounds fun.
Anyways, see you.
291
00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:10,827
-Don't do it, but if you do,
292
00:15:10,967 --> 00:15:13,867
have a good suicide!
-Ha! Ha! Okay!
293
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,470
-Good job
saving us back there.
294
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,770
You know,
I've always admired your muscly,
295
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:26,070
prehensile monkey tail.
296
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:27,970
-All right, calm down.
Just because
297
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:30,270
we're chained together doesn't
mean this needs to get weird.
298
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,530
-We're well past weird.
If we stay chained together,
299
00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:34,527
nature's just gonna take
its course again.
300
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,897
-Well, we can just cross
that bridge when we get to it.
301
00:15:37,033 --> 00:15:39,603
-Wait, are you saying
you wouldn't mind if we...
302
00:15:39,734 --> 00:15:41,834
-I'm not giving up on a life
without you just yet.
303
00:15:41,967 --> 00:15:43,327
Let's think.
304
00:15:43,467 --> 00:15:45,097
If the key wasn't
in the Beast,
305
00:15:45,233 --> 00:15:47,103
maybe we got it back
somehow last night?
306
00:15:47,233 --> 00:15:49,233
-Who haven't we talked to yet?
307
00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:51,497
Maybe we're still missing
part of the night.
308
00:15:51,633 --> 00:15:54,273
-Danika!
-Oh! Yeah. Oops. My daughter.
309
00:15:58,400 --> 00:15:59,870
Danika!
310
00:16:00,066 --> 00:16:02,366
God, what is that funk?
311
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:05,030
-Smells like hot ass in here!
312
00:16:05,166 --> 00:16:06,526
-Damn right it does.
313
00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:09,697
-Wow. OK. Well, I'm gonna look
the other way on this one
314
00:16:09,834 --> 00:16:13,074
only because as you can see,
Suzette and I are in a crisis.
315
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,600
-Seems like it.
Where's your pants?
316
00:16:15,734 --> 00:16:19,904
-I lost them in a very serious,
unhumorous accident.
317
00:16:20,033 --> 00:16:22,533
-Yeah, I'll bet!
-Okay, Miss Cool guy!
318
00:16:22,667 --> 00:16:24,367
We just wanna know if you know
anything about
319
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:25,870
what happened last night.
320
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,730
Like where the key is
for these shackles?
321
00:16:27,867 --> 00:16:30,097
-No. But thanks for letting
these girls into town.
322
00:16:30,233 --> 00:16:32,733
Did you take all of the drugs
they bribed you with?
323
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:35,767
-Wait, what?
(sombre music)
324
00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:37,300
Sorry sisters, but we don't
325
00:16:37,433 --> 00:16:39,773
generally allow strangers
in St. Zephyr.
326
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:42,300
(laughter)
-Oh!
327
00:16:43,934 --> 00:16:45,704
-But come on in!
328
00:16:45,834 --> 00:16:48,674
(Sisters laugh. Dwayne sniffs.)
329
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,170
Ha! Ha! Ha!
330
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,500
I do not remember that.
-Wait! I do!
331
00:16:52,633 --> 00:16:54,603
You busted it out
after we met at the church.
332
00:16:54,734 --> 00:16:58,234
-So we didn't get messed up
on edibles. It was "snortables".
333
00:16:58,367 --> 00:17:00,727
-Keeping it classy. Hey,
did you know Johnny is about
334
00:17:00,867 --> 00:17:03,397
to throw himself into the Oasis
sinkhole because of you two?
335
00:17:03,533 --> 00:17:06,473
-Oh my God, I didn't even
think of Johnny once today.
336
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:09,930
I'm the worst! Hey, do you think
if we wrap this up soon,
337
00:17:10,066 --> 00:17:12,166
I'll have time
to take a bath and dye my roots?
338
00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:16,100
Oh wait, sorry, Johnny,
killing himself. Right. Focus!
339
00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:20,570
-At least put some tarps down
or something, Danika!
340
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:23,030
(gargling)
341
00:17:26,033 --> 00:17:28,333
(sad moaning)
342
00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:30,873
-Uh?
343
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,070
(dramatic music)
344
00:17:36,567 --> 00:17:38,867
(scared moaning)
345
00:17:41,367 --> 00:17:44,797
Ah... Well, if the fall
doesn't kill me,
346
00:17:44,934 --> 00:17:47,204
chances are
I'll starve to death down there.
347
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,900
Thank God for small favours.
348
00:17:51,033 --> 00:17:52,673
-(Suzette): Johnny!
349
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,230
-Don't bother, Suzette.
350
00:17:54,367 --> 00:17:57,067
I'm not the man for you anymore.
You and Dwayne
351
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,830
are obviously
meant for each other.
352
00:17:58,967 --> 00:18:00,427
-Maybe, but it's not
what I want!
353
00:18:00,567 --> 00:18:02,367
-Of course, it is!
354
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:03,970
You're both alphas.
355
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:07,670
Like I used to be before
I became this... monstrosity.
356
00:18:09,633 --> 00:18:11,433
(horrified gasp)
357
00:18:13,367 --> 00:18:16,567
(sobbing)
-Johnny!
358
00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:18,570
You can't jump! Please!
359
00:18:22,066 --> 00:18:23,626
I love you!
360
00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:26,867
Every gross fold and weird bump.
361
00:18:28,100 --> 00:18:31,100
I know things aren't the same
as before the apocalypse,
362
00:18:31,233 --> 00:18:34,673
and maybe Dwayne does make
more sense for me now...
363
00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:39,303
I guess some kind of bond
made us sleep together.
364
00:18:39,433 --> 00:18:42,073
I don't know.
Sorry, honeybutt!
365
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,200
(diving board clanking)
366
00:18:50,734 --> 00:18:53,374
Johnny, no!
367
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,100
-Sleep together?
368
00:18:55,233 --> 00:18:57,433
No! You two assholes
didn't sleep together!
369
00:18:57,567 --> 00:18:58,867
(Johnny): Oh!
370
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,870
-So we didn't
do the horizontal mambo?
371
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,530
-Also you can talk?
-Naturally!
372
00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:04,427
Not that anyone of you
ever bothered to ask.
373
00:19:04,567 --> 00:19:06,997
I simply wanted to join
your town and was shackled!
374
00:19:07,133 --> 00:19:09,073
It's Sidney, by the way.
375
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,570
-Never mind that! How do you
know we didn't sleep together?
376
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:14,000
-I was there when you passed out
in the middle of town.
377
00:19:14,133 --> 00:19:16,803
All you did was bicker over
who got more of the mattress.
378
00:19:16,934 --> 00:19:19,274
-Huh! I bet she got more, too.
379
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,270
-Yeah, you're like
an old married couple.
380
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,700
Including the celibacy.
381
00:19:23,834 --> 00:19:25,774
-My Johnny... He's gone.
382
00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:28,330
At least, he died knowing
I stayed loyal to him...
383
00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:29,997
this one time.
384
00:19:31,867 --> 00:19:33,597
-This is death?
385
00:19:33,734 --> 00:19:37,004
Just me alone by myself
for all eternity?
386
00:19:37,133 --> 00:19:38,973
God, I've gone
from a living nightmare
387
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:41,200
to an existential one!
388
00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:44,970
Oh, f(beep) this! I'm out!
389
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,670
(sobbing)
390
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,600
(grunting, panting)
391
00:19:50,734 --> 00:19:53,074
Whoa, it's true!
392
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,200
I really can't die!
393
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,800
-Free, at last! Free!
394
00:20:03,934 --> 00:20:05,674
-The key must've gotten stuck
to you when you were
395
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,630
stuck inside of me!
-You were inside this thing?
396
00:20:08,767 --> 00:20:10,797
You dirty, two-timing hypocrite!
397
00:20:10,934 --> 00:20:12,804
-No, he swallowed me!
398
00:20:12,934 --> 00:20:14,874
-I don't care if he swallowed!
399
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,670
Oh, you mean literally?
400
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,900
(retching)
401
00:20:19,033 --> 00:20:21,303
-The yoga pants!
402
00:20:21,433 --> 00:20:24,033
Come on...
(grunting in effort)
403
00:20:24,166 --> 00:20:26,026
-So you heard, right?
404
00:20:26,166 --> 00:20:28,466
I didn't cheat on you after
all... with Dwayne.
405
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,200
-Then with who?
-No one! Shut up. Stop talking.
406
00:20:31,333 --> 00:20:34,473
-Wait, did you talk me out
of jumping because you love me
407
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,500
or because I had that key?
-Can't it be both?
408
00:20:37,633 --> 00:20:40,533
-I guess I have to love you
for who you are too.
409
00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:45,773
-Ugh, doesn't she know where
that thing's been?
410
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:52,330
-Help me! Help! The Brides
of Christ are taking over!
411
00:20:52,467 --> 00:20:55,167
-Dad, the hot nuns
are refusing to leave!
412
00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:57,270
They say St. Zephyr
is their town now.
413
00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,630
-Dammit, you just can't trust
clergy people these days!
414
00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:05,100
Christ, I can't even right now.
415
00:21:05,233 --> 00:21:07,233
I do not wanna fight
a bunch of nuns!
416
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:08,867
-My brother!
417
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,670
Oh, thank God
you're still alive!
418
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:14,200
I found the perfect way
to kill you! Drowning.
419
00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:17,173
If we leave now and march East,
we'll hit the ocean eventually.
420
00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:21,170
-Sorry, Manson, I want to live.
421
00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:22,830
-Aw man, come on!
422
00:21:22,967 --> 00:21:25,697
I hate quitters almost
as much as I hate No-Mos.
423
00:21:25,834 --> 00:21:27,974
That's my new word
for non-mutants.
424
00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:30,700
Anyway, you suck,
Jetsie Jizzface!
425
00:21:30,834 --> 00:21:32,374
(horny chuckles)
426
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:36,000
(silly laugh)
Who are they?
427
00:21:37,166 --> 00:21:39,166
(happy laughter)
428
00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:41,300
-Musicians, man. Pff!
429
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:44,933
Those bastards get
all the chicks. Am I right?
430
00:21:45,934 --> 00:21:50,704
Closed Captioning: Épilogue
Technical Services Inc.
31438
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