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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,186
Hi, Child Services.
2
00:00:02,187 --> 00:00:05,759
'You've taken my five kids into care.
Can you take the rabbit as well?'
3
00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:08,319
BEEP 'I love my baby. I
love my boyfriend more.
4
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:11,119
'And he hates the baby.'
'It ain't even mine.'
5
00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:13,119
'My mum... my mum won't get up.
6
00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:14,919
'I don't know why.
She's just asleep.'
7
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:17,359
This programme contains strong
language and adult humour.
8
00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:20,879
BEEP 'Hi. The kids next door
just shat on the patio.
9
00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:22,399
'Yeah, it stinks.
10
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:25,399
'My mum said it was the dog
but their dog's tiny.
11
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,639
'Yeah, it's smaller than
some of the shits.'
12
00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,399
Hello, children's services.
13
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,879
'Hello, um, so, basically, last
week, I had a problem with...'
14
00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:38,780
Shit, this didn't shut down last
night. Error code 993C.
15
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,839
Yeah, I performed
an unauthorised shut down.
16
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:45,519
What are you going to do about it,
fuckface?
17
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:49,479
May I offer my current favourite
insult, cock knocker?
18
00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:52,399
OK, someone must have spiked my
cappuccino in Caffe Nero
19
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:56,700
because it is 8:45am
and I'm hallucinating Rose.
20
00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:00,959
Fuck off, cock knocker.
I do get here on time sometimes.
21
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,479
No, the only time you got here
on time
22
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:04,279
was when you forgot
to put the clocks back.
23
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:05,999
Everyone!
24
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,159
ALL: ♪ I believe in miracles
25
00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:11,439
♪ Since you came along
26
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:14,439
♪ You've mugged your cluster team
manager... ♪
27
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,439
Aren't you going to say "sexy"
any time?
28
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:23,639
No, because that would constitute
harassment in the workplace.
29
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,319
Oh, no. Look at that.
30
00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:27,279
It's so long since
you've been on time,
31
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:29,359
the party poppers
have disintegrated.
32
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:32,279
Sorry for not joining in but I
didn't learn the lyrics,
33
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,839
cos I never thought we'd have reason
to sing it.
34
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,719
I would imagine you've got a
terrible singing voice, Nitin.
35
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:38,959
Based on what?
36
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:41,039
Your speaking voice.
37
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,719
Anyway, are you going to get me a
cuppa to make up for it?
38
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,319
No, I'm not going back in that
kitchen without a hazmat suit.
39
00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:48,759
Didn't have you down as the
designer-label type.
40
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:53,039
A hazmat suit, Nat, protects you
against hazardous materials.
41
00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:54,359
Should we all have them?
42
00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,479
No. So why do you need one?
43
00:01:56,480 --> 00:02:00,199
I think what Nat is exploring,
in a roundabout way,
44
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,639
perhaps not even consciously,
45
00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:04,319
is that you may be exaggerating
the state of the kitchen.
46
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,279
I think Nat has made a fair
assumption.
47
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:09,119
I mean, you do love a man-made
fibre, don't you?
48
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,639
You could walk through a nuclear
reactor in those trousers
49
00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:12,879
and just wipe them clean.
50
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,639
If I was still in uniform, I would
declare that kitchen a crime scene.
51
00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:17,439
I would rather drink the contents
of a urinal
52
00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:20,199
than the fluid at the bottom
of the vegetable drawer.
53
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,719
Yeah, or you could just drink
neither.
54
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,919
Rose, it's Lee.
55
00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:25,519
I don't want to talk to him.
56
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:29,079
I'm afraid she's busy right now,
but you can try her on her mobile.
57
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,679
Nat, what part of
"I don't want to talk to him"
58
00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:33,399
says, "Try her on her mobile"?
59
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,079
Sorry!
60
00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,639
Oh, piss off. Just drop the call.
61
00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:42,319
I don't know what you mean.
62
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,119
I don't know how to
express it in simpler terms.
63
00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:46,279
Still sour?
64
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:47,439
Generally, yes.
65
00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:48,999
About him having another women?
66
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,119
Couldn't give a shit.
67
00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,559
So we're not going to do anything,
then, about the kitchen?
68
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,999
We're just going to sit and talk
about Rose's ex-husband.
69
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,159
Well, what do you suggest we do
about it?
70
00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,959
If a member of a client family
had a kitchen like this,
71
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:02,119
we'd declare it unfit for human
habitation
72
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:03,519
and we'd order a section 17.
73
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:07,820
Quite right,
so why don't YOU go and tidy it up?
74
00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,999
Unless you're ringing to tell
me you've got terminal cancer,
75
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,559
please fuck off.
76
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,279
Oops, sorry, Rani.
77
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,199
No, I thought you were Lee.
78
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,239
I know it's complicated.
What am I talking about?
79
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:21,599
It's not complicated at all.
80
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:25,399
He's living with someone else,
right, and I was the last to know.
81
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,159
What, now?
82
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,719
Why?
83
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,239
OK, OK.
84
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,559
All right, I'll try and move some
stuff around. OK.
85
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:38,159
See you in a little bit. Bye.
86
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:41,999
Dear. A friend of mine is freaking
out about some sort of relationship
87
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,439
going on between a pupil and a
teacher at her daughter's school.
88
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:48,439
Why don't teachers learn
the basic rule?
89
00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:51,159
Don't fuck the kids.
90
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:52,839
So you're going, then?
91
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,119
Well, it feels a bit weird being
here this time of the day.
92
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,039
I thought I'd go and see her, and
then come back at my usual time.
93
00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,839
That's convenient, so you don't have
to clean the kitchen.
94
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,879
I do enough bloody cleaning at home.
95
00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,999
Implying that I don't?
That's sexist.
96
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,639
I'm sure you spend a lot of time
at home cleaning sperm off walls.
97
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,279
Implying I'm gay?
That's homophobic.
98
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:15,159
No, implying that you masturbate
alone in an unfurnished flat.
99
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,999
Why don't we all just write names
down on a bit of paper
100
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,919
and then draw them out of a mug?
101
00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:25,220
There's no clean mugs, Al, so...
Ah, yeah, but we could use this.
102
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,439
No, don't...
103
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,759
OK, I want that back
when we're done,
104
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,319
because I'm not being pen-jacked.
105
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,639
Just write a name down.
106
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,239
You are going to have to talk to Lee
at some point.
107
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:37,799
You do know that, don't you?
108
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,319
I can't do that right now
109
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,359
without using the word
shitface bollock brain.
110
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,799
Well, then, what's the problem with
him moving on, then?
111
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,679
Because I need to know what
I can tell the kids.
112
00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,839
Is she a permanent fixture,
or is she just using him for sex?
113
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:51,919
No, that's not right.
114
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,279
I used to have to lay a trail
of Pringles to the bedroom
115
00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:55,479
to get any action.
116
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,119
Right, let's draw. Drumroll, please.
117
00:04:58,120 --> 00:04:59,439
Thank you.
118
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,239
Nitin!
119
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,999
Nitin.
120
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,599
What? It's you.
121
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,439
Right, I'm off, then.
122
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,319
That's not how it works,
though, is it?
123
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,119
You've got to keep drawing
out the mug
124
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,239
until the last one's left, and then
that's the person that does it.
125
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:23,039
It's your turn, so get on with it.
Well, I can't, I'm busy.
126
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,479
So... What you doing? I'm...
127
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,359
I'm doing 15 NGTs to
begin with, so...
128
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:29,959
Well, I'll swap with you,
if you like,
129
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,919
cos I've got a 10am
visit with the Campbells.
130
00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,479
Is that the parents with
learning difficulties? Mm-hm.
131
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,319
No, I get impatient with them.
132
00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:38,839
I feel guilty, end up staying
longer than I should
133
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:41,119
to make up for it,
which then annoys me more.
134
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:45,420
I think you might not be
temperamentally suited for this job.
135
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:53,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
136
00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:58,999
Hi, Katy. It's Al.
137
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,839
From Children's Services.
138
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:02,679
Just come to see how you're doing.
139
00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:04,159
Really well, thanks.
140
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,839
Dave's just feeding Saffron.
Oh, that's good.
141
00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:09,719
You're sharing out the tasks.
Yeah.
142
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:11,719
Men can't do breast-feeding.
143
00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,239
They don't have tits.
144
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,319
He can do food, though.
145
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,919
Well,
it's easier once they start weaning.
146
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,879
Weaning means giving them solids.
147
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,319
I know. Of course, sorry.
148
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:25,839
So how are you sleeping?
149
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:27,079
Um, not great.
150
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:28,999
She wakes up a couple of times
still.
151
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,839
Mm, yeah, I'm afraid that's normal.
152
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:32,479
You've got kids?
153
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,079
No.
154
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,599
How do you know, then?
155
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,679
Well, you know,
pick a few things up.
156
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,559
Hello, gorgeous.
157
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,639
Look at those gorgeous eyes.
158
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,919
You're making me broody.
159
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:52,239
Have you got the red book?
160
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,279
I just want to check on her
percentiles,
161
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,799
you know, height and weight.
162
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,079
That's all fine. She's a good eater.
163
00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,319
Yeah, I can see that.
What are you giving her?
164
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,839
Fish food. Oh, I don't think you
should be doing that.
165
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,239
It's not real fish food.
166
00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:07,199
It's ice cream!
167
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,079
Oh! It's a bit early for...
168
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,839
No, I mean early
as in she's a bit young.
169
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:13,439
She loves it.
170
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,199
Yeah, I'm sure she does,
but it's a lot of sugar for her.
171
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,399
It's just like cold milk, isn't it?
172
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,559
Well, you should really be warming
the milk up.
173
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,199
I know.
174
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:23,919
Oh, milkshake!
175
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,799
You don't give her milk shakes?
176
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,679
Only as a special treat.
177
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,879
Please don't say for finishing all
her vindaloo!
178
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,159
You can't give a baby curry, Al.
179
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,719
No, I was joking.
180
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:38,759
I'm really not sure we should be
taking advice from you.
181
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:43,060
Neither am I!
182
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:02,159
Denise, good to see you.
183
00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,679
I learned so much
just from watching you.
184
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,839
I'm only here cos my kettle's
on the blink.
185
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,039
Though it would probably be safer
to make my tea
186
00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:10,559
using the hot tap in the toilet.
187
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:14,860
Yes, well, once I'm done,
you won't recognise the place.
188
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,919
Aren't you supposed to be
finding me people to sack?
189
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,199
Why are you doing this?
190
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,239
Yes, well, my name was called,
so I stepped up.
191
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:22,639
I'm a team player.
192
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:24,279
I'll do your dirty work - literally.
193
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:27,399
Are you offering to come and clean
my house? No, obviously.
194
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:31,679
No, but, er, unless you want me to.
195
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:32,839
But I, you know, yeah,
196
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,799
it's probably crossing the boundary
from professional to personal
197
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:36,999
if I come to your house, so...
198
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:41,300
But if you - if you want that,
you can use me however you like.
199
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:47,439
Whenever you're free, I can be free.
200
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:51,740
To... to... to do that.
201
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:53,799
I'm going to go, Nitin.
202
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,679
This whole conversation has very
strange overtones.
203
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:57,719
But you being in here
204
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,119
had better not be dropping our call
response targets.
205
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,199
My average handling time
206
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,319
and my average speed of answer rates
are off the scale.
207
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,919
You should probably check my blood
for midi-chlorians.
208
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,039
What? It's a Star Wars reference.
209
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:12,340
Midi-chlorians indicate heightened
force power.
210
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,639
Mmm.
211
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,159
Thanks for coming by so quick.
212
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:30,199
Any excuse to get out of the office.
What's happened?
213
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,679
Priya's been keen on this boy
at school.
214
00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:34,959
It's been on and off.
215
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,479
I can't keep up with it but
apparently, now it's off,
216
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:41,479
because he's been sleeping
with a teacher.
217
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,159
According to Priya and her friends.
218
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:44,959
And Priya told you this, did she?
219
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,559
Well, not exactly.
220
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:49,159
I logged onto her Facebook chats.
221
00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:52,839
When she's asleep, I get her phone
and see what she's been saying -
222
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,479
to check it's hormones and not drugs
or grooming.
223
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,639
That's like reading someone's diary.
224
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,439
You shouldn't really be doing that.
225
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:03,079
Look, apparently, Dan,
this boy she likes,
226
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:06,439
was seen kissing Miss Ronson
in the car park.
227
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,239
One of the girls saw condoms
in Miss Ronson's bag.
228
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,679
And how old is this Dan?
229
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,039
15 or 16.
230
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:16,959
That could be statutory rape as
well as massively unethical.
231
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,119
We don't know that they slept
together.
232
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:21,559
Rans, why are you backtracking?
233
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:24,719
It sounds really serious
and illegal.
234
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,159
It IS illegal!
235
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:30,460
I mean, it's child abuse.
236
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:35,039
You've got about 12 call-backs
to make. Right.
237
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,839
They're on your desk but off
the top of my head,
238
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:40,159
there's a woman who found a massive
knife in her son's room and...
239
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:41,799
Could you just give me a moment?
240
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,439
I just want to log a report first.
241
00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:45,959
Nothing bad?
242
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,959
Look, can you not use post-it
notes for messages?
243
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,959
I thought this way, I could
colour-code things.
244
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,359
Well, what do the colours mean?
245
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,759
Well, red is urgent.
246
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,239
This is an enquiry about school
holiday dates.
247
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,119
Yeah, they need to book a flight now
before the cheap ones go.
248
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,239
What's this yellow one?
249
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,199
Kids on Redfern estate trying to put
a banger up a cat's arse?
250
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,439
Oh, that should be red,
cos it made me cross.
251
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,279
I don't know why that's yellow.
252
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:10,479
But that is police or fire brigade
or RSPCA.
253
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,839
Well, you should be happy
there's nothing for you to do.
254
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,679
Yeah, but I'm just concerned about
all the important things
255
00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:18,839
that I should be getting that you're
sending Christ knows where.
256
00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:21,839
I'm doing my best. Oh, great.
That's even more depressing.
257
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,239
So this is the best it gets, is it?
258
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,999
Ie, a bit shit.
259
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,639
I've had a really tough morning.
260
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,639
What, choosing post-it colours?
261
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,959
No, someone I care about has died.
262
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,799
Oh, shit.
263
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:35,399
I'm sorry. I didn't know.
264
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,199
It's fine.
265
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,199
It's not fine, actually. Sorry.
266
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,479
You look ridiculous!
It was either this or the pipe.
267
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,519
What're you out here for? I'm
hiding. I was a bit short with Nat.
268
00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:58,839
Oh, relax.
269
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:02,159
I mean, I have to restrain myself
twice a day from happy slapping her.
270
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:05,319
Oh, I was in a bad mood, anyway.
I saw this family this morning,
271
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:08,799
reminded me of Caitlin. Why,
was the woman an undermining cow?
272
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,719
Give us a drag.
273
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,799
No, it's just normally the things
we see in this job put you off
274
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,439
bringing kinds into the world,
275
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,879
but this family
were so sweet and caring and...
276
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:23,180
They were getting a few things
wrong, but the kid was gorgeous...
277
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:27,759
I dunno, I just thought I would've
had kids by now with someone.
278
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:31,279
Shouldn't we be getting in? Hm.
279
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:33,719
Any update on the teacher?
280
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,879
I'm sure it's just the kids
gossiping on Facebook.
281
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,359
Can't ignore it. What if it's true
and we did nothing?
282
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:40,439
I'll tell you what,
283
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,719
I'll put it on the agenda
in the management meeting.
284
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,199
What school was it? Glenway.
285
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:48,439
Oh, you'd better flag it up with
Denise, then, before the meeting.
286
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:52,740
Why? It's where her kids go, innit?
287
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:02,399
Sorry I'm late.
We're still waiting for Denise.
288
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:06,700
Train from Hades is a stopping
train. You stink of Cillit Bang!
289
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:10,359
Nitin, you shouldn't be here.
290
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:14,660
Yeah, but I finished cleaning the
kitchen. We'll cope. Bye, Junior.
291
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,159
Did you speak to her?
292
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,319
No, I didn't get a chance,
but, I mean,
293
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:23,359
it's not like I need to brush it
aside to spare her feelings.
294
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:26,319
OK, so, how were the Campbells?
295
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,519
Basically, they seem to be
doing everything fine,
296
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:32,479
except for the diet. They're feeding
the baby ice cream. At every meal?
297
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,679
Oh, no, it's more
an occasional treat.
298
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,239
I've come across some families
299
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,839
that feed their kids vodka
and methadone as a treat.
300
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,919
We need to ascertain if the
Campbells have capacity for care.
301
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:44,159
There was just mention
of the occasional ice cream
302
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:45,359
or milk shake, that's all.
303
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,479
It's not like
they're feeding him McDonalds.
304
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,359
Babies should not be having
ice cream at all!
305
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,039
In fact, kids should not be given
306
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,039
ice cream until they're
at least ten.
307
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,439
I would rather they smoke than be
given sugars like that.
308
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:56,679
Really? Yes!
309
00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:58,319
OK, maybe not, but look,
310
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,239
they should be having
vegetable proteins - kale, quinoa.
311
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,679
What flavour was the ice cream?
Does it make a difference?
312
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:04,919
Well, if it was tutti frutti
313
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,759
they could be getting some of
their five a day.
314
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:11,060
Is the baby special needs? It's too
early to make an assessment. Why?
315
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,439
He's a fan of eugenics.
316
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:16,959
Oh, I love Annie Lennox.
Let PC Harris speak.
317
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,439
Special needs kids
tend to be more physical,
318
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:22,959
so baby might need the calories.
Burn them off.
319
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,319
Don't write that down, Natalie.
320
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,119
I'm a bit behind - I got stuck
on occasional.
321
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:27,959
Do the parents understand
the problem?
322
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,919
They understood that I thought
it was a problem.
323
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:33,399
I'm not sure that they shared my
concern. Well, that is a problem.
324
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,039
Right, we need to get the family
325
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,359
action support team to make
regular visits.
326
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,439
Use the acronym, Natalie.
That's the FAST team.
327
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,199
For which there's a four-week
waiting list.
328
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:47,079
God's sake! I'm only passing on a
bit of pretty trivial information
329
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:48,999
which means nothing in context.
330
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,039
What do you mean?
331
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,879
Here we have a couple with
learning disabilities who are making
332
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,639
a pretty good go of managing
their lives and bringing up a baby
333
00:14:56,640 --> 00:15:00,839
despite Dickensian upbringings,
prejudice, discrimination,
334
00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:05,140
beatings and a rape, so
let's just get our priorities right.
335
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,959
I didn't know. I'm so sorry. Poor
Katy.
336
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,279
It wasn't Katy. It was Dave.
337
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,319
It was the charge nurse
at his residential home.
338
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:17,839
I'll talk to a nutritionist.
Can we just move on?
339
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:22,140
OK. What is happening
about the O'Caughey boy?
340
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:25,599
Oh, the boy with a black eye,
the non-accidental injury?
341
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:28,279
Er, well, the parents
have both given statements,
342
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:29,879
but they are contradictory.
343
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,399
He goes to Pennyvale.
It's a very good school.
344
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:36,119
We nearly sent Dan there.
Very nice families.
345
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:39,359
How old is Dan? 16. Why?
346
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:42,759
No reason. 'Can I say something?'
Go ahead.
347
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:44,439
'In my experience, '
348
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,599
when you get contradictory
statements, someone's lying.
349
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,439
Fuck me.
Alistair!
350
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:50,679
It's just sometimes I think
351
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,999
he's just wandered in here
from a fancy dress party.
352
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,599
I'm sick of you taking the piss
out of me!
353
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,719
Yeah, well, I'm sick of you saying
stupid, stupid things.
354
00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:01,199
Enough. I want the parents
re-interviewed and I want them
355
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,479
to explain
their differing accounts.
356
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:07,780
Now, Rose, you had a suspected case
of abuse at a school.
357
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:12,999
I jumped the gun a bit. Well, why
did you put it down for discussion?
358
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,119
It's potentially quite
a complicated case
359
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,519
and I've just got to dig
around a little bit more.
360
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,439
How do you propose to do that
working half days?
361
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:21,999
She was on time this morning.
362
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:25,439
Yeah, and when I'm not,
there's always a reason. Yes.
363
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:28,479
You have a lot of aunts who seem
to drop down dead as soon
364
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,799
as you set off for work.
365
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,239
Oh!
366
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:36,540
Bereavement.
She's a bit upset today.
367
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,079
'If you send that picture,
368
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:42,599
'then I'm going to send a picture
of your dick to your mum...'
369
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:46,439
Her son's called Dan, same name
as the kid who's supposed to be
370
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,279
"doing it" with the teacher.
371
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,679
"Doing it"? What are you, seven?!
372
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,959
Hey, look, Dan's a common name.
Might not be him.
373
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,079
I know, but I need to find out, OK?
374
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,839
Denise is my boss
and she already hates me.
375
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:02,439
I mean, imagine what it's going
to be like if I drag her and her son
376
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,399
into this situation for nothing!
377
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,479
Oh, hello, Mart. Who are they for?
378
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:11,780
They're for you. Lee rang,
asked me to bring them to you.
379
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:13,559
Ah.
380
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:17,860
Don't seem too pleased with me. No,
it's not you, Martin. It's Lee.
381
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:22,620
He's a 24-carat shit, using you
like this. Well, I don't feel used.
382
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,079
If anything, I feel under-used.
383
00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:27,679
Speaking of which, is there anything
I can help you with?
384
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,839
Not really. OK.
385
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,479
Actually, wait.
386
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,239
Nitin, where did you put
that rubbish from the kitchen?
387
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,039
Triple-bagged in the bins outside.
388
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:41,340
Right, Martin, I'll give you 50 quid
if you fish 'em out and dump them
389
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,839
on Lee's doorstep. My pleasure.
390
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:47,599
And no charge. Oh,
and can you take a photo as well?
391
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,900
I need a new screen saver.
392
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:55,839
I understand you need cheering up.
Thanks.
393
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:59,439
It won't bring hm back, though. Was
it someone you really cared about?
394
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:03,359
Yeah, obviously.
Who mourns strangers? Yeah, sorry.
395
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:07,519
He might come back, though.
It's happened before. It's unlikely.
396
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,879
Only once, and with Jesus,
and that's in dispute.
397
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,999
No, Caleb died at the end of season
five but he came back for seven.
398
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,399
He lost his memory
after the crash...
399
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:20,279
Excuse me - are you talking about
a character on TV?
400
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:23,199
Yeah. I'm actually OK about people
dying in real life.
401
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,919
You get, like, a funeral
and proper mourning,
402
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:27,919
but when it's a character
you love,
403
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:32,220
all you have are
the episodes you've already seen.
404
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,279
Shouldn't really do that.
405
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:40,199
Use Martin as a pawn in this fight
between you and Lee.
406
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:44,399
The friend she's mourning,
it's in a TV series. Actor?
407
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:45,559
Character.
408
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:49,119
Fuck me. I worry about her.
How does she feed herself?
409
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:52,599
And for the record,
Lee used Martin before me.
410
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:56,159
It's very professional. You just
paid him to fly-tip your ex.
411
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:59,159
This is a man who's had some
serious problems. Not any more.
412
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,479
Who invited Chief Wigham
to join the conversation?
413
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:06,319
No, seriously, Martin isn't ill
any more. Cop a load of this.
414
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:10,620
Where did you get this?
Found it in the kitchen.
415
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,719
Martin's fit to return to work? Yep.
416
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,919
GP's given him a clean bill
of health. Bloody hell!
417
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:20,479
Has Denise seen this? She must've.
She dropped it. It was open already.
418
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,879
Apparently, it's the third letter
that's been sent.
419
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,079
She's done nothing about it
for a month?
420
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,879
I mean, I bet she doesn't even
want him to come back to work
421
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,799
cos he's on such a high pay scale.
422
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,799
Yeah, well, I was going to keep it
quiet but then she kicked me
423
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,479
out the meeting and busted me
back down the ranks, so...
424
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:39,780
You're so noble, Nitin. Al, we need
to talk to Denise about this.
425
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:44,700
Sorry, I'm off out. I've got an
errand to run. You should do it. Me?
426
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,079
I've got to discuss
the possibility
427
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,999
of a pupil at her kid's school
fucking a teacher.
428
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,999
I'm not bringing Martin up as well!
How could she do this to him?
429
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,759
Serve her right if it is her son!
430
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:01,279
Nitin, you found the smoking gun.
431
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,239
The onus is on you
to do something about it.
432
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,599
No, no, cos Martin's your friend,
so you do it.
433
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,279
I'm going to tell Denise
you grassed her up.
434
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:13,559
Fairness, integrity, diligence...
435
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:17,860
Does the police oath mean nothing
to you? OK, I'll do it.
436
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:27,839
So, did you all just put my name
down for the draw?
437
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:32,140
It's no conspiracy.
It's just... instinct. Good luck.
438
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:52,940
Got a few bits...
Hey! Hello.
439
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:59,580
Al... Al, we don't need this stuff.
No, you do.
440
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,079
It'll just save a lot of faff.
441
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,799
There's a few pointers
in there for you.
442
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:08,879
If the nutritionist sees this stuff,
it'll just calm everyone down.
443
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,999
We went shopping this afternoon.
444
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,439
This is all organic.
How did you know what to get?
445
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:18,559
We asked.
446
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:24,260
Denise, can I bother you
for a second? You already are.
447
00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:29,119
Earlier, I found something
when I was cleaning the kitchen.
448
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:32,679
What did you find, Nitin,
a personality?
449
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:36,519
No, it was a letter. And?
450
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,959
Well, it, um...
451
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:43,199
I'm sitting here about to start
bleeding from my eyes
452
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,199
as I try to deal with another 5% cut
to the budget on top of
453
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:50,500
the 20% cut we've already had, so
I'm really hoping this is important.
454
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,119
No. No, no.
455
00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:55,719
I mean, that's my point, um...
I think for the sake of the planet,
456
00:21:55,720 --> 00:22:00,020
we should make a move
towards digital communication.
457
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,199
That was why you interrupted me?
458
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:06,500
Yes. Well, no...
It would be a saving...
459
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:11,580
from the old, um...
460
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:15,999
I don't understand.
461
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,439
Why did you ring him and tell him
someone was breaking into his car?
462
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:23,740
So that he would rush out
and... whoops!
463
00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:29,719
Like I said, no charge. I know what
an absolute weasel he's been.
464
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:34,020
All good with Denise? Yeah, done.
She's all over it, so...
465
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,839
No need to mention it, though.
She was a bit embarrassed. OK.
466
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,319
Show me it again, Mart. OK.
467
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:43,359
Whoops!
468
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:47,279
Tell you what, let's go for a beer,
OK, then we can watch it on a loop.
469
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:51,580
You up for that? Well, I shouldn't,
but I will. Come on, then.
470
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,559
Green Dragon? Yeah.
471
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:58,860
Yeah, I'll... I'll meet you there,
cos I'm just going to...
472
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:03,260
Subtitles by Ericsson
473
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:08,380
♪ People they ain't no good
474
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:15,260
♪ I think that's well understood
475
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:26,100
♪ People just ain't no good. ♪
475
00:23:27,305 --> 00:23:33,432
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