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1
00:00:01,940 --> 00:00:04,419
'Hello. What's the recommended
alcohol allowance
2
00:00:04,420 --> 00:00:05,979
'for a 12-year-old?'
3
00:00:05,980 --> 00:00:08,779
'I don't think you understand.
She's got a zombie knife.
4
00:00:08,780 --> 00:00:11,219
'We're trapped in the staffroom.'
5
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:13,139
'My boyfriend says he'll hurt me
6
00:00:13,140 --> 00:00:15,619
'because I won't do anal,
like it is in porn.'
7
00:00:15,620 --> 00:00:18,419
It wasn't blocked when I left
the house, OK?
8
00:00:18,420 --> 00:00:19,899
So you must have...
9
00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:21,779
Help!
10
00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:23,459
I got to go. I'm at work.
11
00:00:23,460 --> 00:00:24,899
Morning, Al.
12
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:27,139
Morning, Martin.
Diary, please. Diary.
13
00:00:27,140 --> 00:00:29,499
And what a beautiful morning
it is too. Yeah.
14
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:31,739
I woke up, looked out the window
and I thought,
15
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,899
"You don't get many of
those to the pound." Headset.
16
00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:36,379
Headset. Have you changed the door
code again, Martin?
17
00:00:36,380 --> 00:00:38,779
Yes, I was a little worried
about security.
18
00:00:38,780 --> 00:00:40,139
That's very thoughtful,
19
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:43,219
but we do need to let the people in
who actually work here. Hmm. Desk.
20
00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:46,259
Desk, yes. Just... Yes, desk,
all yours, sir. Thank you.
21
00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:57,600
Oh, Caitlin. Morning!
There's a plunger under the sink.
22
00:00:58,780 --> 00:01:01,379
Look, I'll do it when I get home.
OK?
23
00:01:01,380 --> 00:01:02,739
Al!
24
00:01:02,740 --> 00:01:04,339
We need to sort the door code,
25
00:01:04,340 --> 00:01:06,579
and that breaches many
multiple protocols.
26
00:01:06,580 --> 00:01:09,139
It's either "many" or "multiple",
not both.
27
00:01:09,140 --> 00:01:10,579
Just answer the phone, Nitin.
28
00:01:10,580 --> 00:01:13,579
I am on a call. Yeah, to your
girlfriend, Al, so sort that out.
29
00:01:13,580 --> 00:01:16,379
Yeah. Just shut the lid,
spray some Febreze around.
30
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:19,099
I'll sort it out later.
Yeah, I love you too.
31
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:21,379
Nitin, answer the phone!
32
00:01:21,380 --> 00:01:25,680
Where's the temp? We were promised
a temp. Ta-da! It's me again.
33
00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:29,379
Yeah, thought. Al, it's Nat,
the temp from last year.
34
00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:32,139
No, not temp now.
We're not called temps any more.
35
00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:34,339
We're called interim workers,
like sex workers,
36
00:01:34,340 --> 00:01:35,939
but without the intercourse.
37
00:01:35,940 --> 00:01:38,699
Good. Good to know. So, homies,
what's all the bantz?
38
00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:41,219
Sorry, what?
The Gossip Goblin is back.
39
00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:45,520
Oh, well, Nitin is still here and
he's still irritating. Who? Nitin.
40
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:50,619
Oh, hang on, you're the one who
wears drip-dry trousers.
41
00:01:50,620 --> 00:01:53,979
Morning. You're late,
Rose Denby. Shit, sorry.
42
00:01:55,340 --> 00:01:57,539
Ta-da! It's me again.
It's her again.
43
00:01:57,540 --> 00:02:00,659
Are you the one that couldn't figure
out the phone system?
44
00:02:00,660 --> 00:02:02,219
I don't think so.
45
00:02:02,220 --> 00:02:06,520
Could you answer the phone,
then, please? Yes.
46
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:09,579
Hello, Children's...
47
00:02:09,580 --> 00:02:11,579
'I want to speak to
a social worker...'
48
00:02:11,580 --> 00:02:12,939
...something.
49
00:02:12,940 --> 00:02:15,539
'It's not fair on the kids...'
Yeah, I got it.
50
00:02:15,540 --> 00:02:19,419
Kids in care of grandmother.
Hungry and dirty.
51
00:02:19,420 --> 00:02:21,859
Sure they're not calling
about your kids?
52
00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:23,579
Yeah, I got that too.
53
00:02:23,580 --> 00:02:27,880
'Right, thank you.' Thanks. Bye.
54
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:29,659
Can I go back to bed now?
55
00:02:29,660 --> 00:02:32,739
Britain First slagging off the
Muslims next door?
56
00:02:32,740 --> 00:02:35,139
Refreshingly no,
but it's early days yet.
57
00:02:35,140 --> 00:02:37,859
Have we got anything on
a Jones family. Jones?
58
00:02:37,860 --> 00:02:39,619
You might have to marry the brief.
59
00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:42,019
Rhona Jones? 65 Nelson Way?
60
00:02:42,020 --> 00:02:44,739
I'll run a DSC,
database speed check.
61
00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:47,179
How long since they kicked you out
the police force?
62
00:02:47,180 --> 00:02:48,819
Do you still think you're
in The Wire?
63
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:51,339
FYI, I left the Met to retrain.
It didn't leave me.
64
00:02:51,340 --> 00:02:53,899
Unlike all your girlfriends.
65
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:56,979
'Is that children's services,
is it? Yeah? Well...'
66
00:02:56,980 --> 00:03:00,739
Excuse me. '..and look after my
kids while I'm on holiday, OK?'
67
00:03:02,860 --> 00:03:05,099
...You think they might be
unsupervised?
68
00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:09,419
Nitin! Get the door. I'm on a call.
69
00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:11,819
So am I, Al,
and we don't accept walk-ins.
70
00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:14,619
Yes, I know that and you know that,
but whoever is hammering
71
00:03:14,620 --> 00:03:16,939
on the bloody door obviously
doesn't know that.
72
00:03:16,940 --> 00:03:19,219
I am going to call you back
in five minutes.
73
00:03:19,220 --> 00:03:20,939
Where's Nat?
74
00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:25,739
Calum,
how many times have I told you?
75
00:03:25,740 --> 00:03:28,059
Stop doing the bloody
duct tape challenge.
76
00:03:28,060 --> 00:03:31,259
OK, has anybody got an implement
of some sort. Here. Oh! Ingrid!
77
00:03:31,260 --> 00:03:35,219
Are you OK? I'll be fine. I thought
you had an operation today.
78
00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:38,659
That's tomorrow. By lunchtime,
I'll no longer be a woman.
79
00:03:38,660 --> 00:03:40,299
Are you transitioning?
80
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:42,019
Hysterectomy.
81
00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:46,659
OK, Calum!
I wish you'd get off YouTube.
82
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,499
Cut it off him. Where? I don't know.
Here, or something.
83
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:53,419
It just keeps ringing and I've got
to type... It will keep ringing.
84
00:03:53,420 --> 00:03:55,819
You just need to press the button
that I told you to press,
85
00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:58,819
and then say, "Children's Services.
How may I direct your call?"
86
00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:01,099
It's very simple.
Then you connect to the person.
87
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:03,499
All the names,
I have written them for you. OK.
88
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:05,659
Al, Rose, Nitin. Al, Rose, Nitin.
89
00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:08,419
No, just say, "Children's Services.
How may I direct your call?"
90
00:04:08,420 --> 00:04:10,699
Children's Services.
How may I direct your call?
91
00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:13,459
Press the button with my name.
He's here, actually.
92
00:04:13,460 --> 00:04:16,139
They want to talk to you now.
Connect it to me. Connect it.
93
00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:17,539
I can't talk to them at the desk.
94
00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:20,699
I'll put a headset on for privacy.
He's got to put a headset...
95
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:23,739
Just connect it! Sorry.
Just connect it to my name.
96
00:04:23,740 --> 00:04:25,419
Disconnect it?
97
00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:27,499
Not that it's any of my biswas,
Rose,
98
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:30,659
but Al's fiancee seems particularly
needy this morning.
99
00:04:30,660 --> 00:04:32,499
Quorn IS vegan. Isn't it?
100
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:33,979
It is.
101
00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:37,059
I think it serves him right for
punching above his weight.
102
00:04:37,060 --> 00:04:39,499
I took the precaution of marrying
a man who was grateful
103
00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:42,779
that a woman would have sex with
him for free.
104
00:04:42,780 --> 00:04:47,080
Another espresso, Al? Yeah. Yeah.
105
00:04:50,380 --> 00:04:54,579
Rose, why is Martin still here?
He's signed off sick. So?
106
00:04:54,580 --> 00:04:58,019
50% of the workforce are always
off sick. He helps us out.
107
00:04:58,020 --> 00:05:00,539
He shouldn't be here.
Where's he supposed to go?
108
00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:02,619
I mean, it's not like there's
a luxury spa
109
00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:05,859
for stressed social workers. Do HR
know that he's still coming in?
110
00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:08,819
What are you complaining about?
You just ordered a cappuccino.
111
00:05:08,820 --> 00:05:10,859
No, I didn't, Rose. Was it a latte?
112
00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:13,259
Sorry to interrupt the
coffee morning.
113
00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:17,560
Nite-in, could I see you in my
office, please? Yes, Denise. Ma'am.
114
00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:21,459
Nite-in, I'm not actually the
Queen, but if you insist,
115
00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:23,419
it's "ma'am" as in "ham".
116
00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:25,139
Right you are, ma'am.
117
00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:27,139
And it's Nitin, not Nite-in.
118
00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:28,939
Don't take the piss.
119
00:05:28,940 --> 00:05:30,979
What are you doing tonight, Rose?
120
00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:33,419
Are you having a night out
or a Nite-in?
121
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,259
A Nite-in, I thought. You?
122
00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:37,059
Yeah, OK, that's borderline racist
123
00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:39,979
so I might just tell your superior
during our meeting.
124
00:05:39,980 --> 00:05:42,299
Are you a little bit nervous?
125
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:45,259
Ooh, what's the
headmistress going to do?
126
00:05:45,260 --> 00:05:47,939
Is she going to give you
a spanky-spanky? Ssh!
127
00:05:47,940 --> 00:05:49,819
I need to go to the toilet.
128
00:05:49,820 --> 00:05:54,120
Can you tell her if she comes
out looking for me, please?
129
00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:02,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
130
00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:09,939
Hi. Hiya. We can really let anyone
in without permission.
131
00:06:09,940 --> 00:06:11,699
I was going to call,
132
00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:14,939
but some idiot kept cocking it up
and putting me on to Elderly Care.
133
00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:16,979
Is Al here? Al? Remind me.
134
00:06:16,980 --> 00:06:20,539
He's got twinkly eyes
and a sort of lovely smile?
135
00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:23,499
Hello, anyone called
Al in this office? Apart from me(?)
136
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:26,099
Hiya. Twinkly eyes, lovely smile?
137
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:28,739
How are you? I'm fine.
And you're back here because...
138
00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:31,139
I was passing through the area.
Really?
139
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,379
Now, I'm going to take this
in the meeting room.
140
00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:37,680
In future, only authorised personnel
in the inner office.
141
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:46,800
Oh, it should be computerised.
Jones, Jones...
142
00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:49,579
Oh, Jesus!
143
00:06:49,580 --> 00:06:53,019
I'm looking for anything to do
with Rhona Jones.
144
00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:55,699
I'm convinced we had
dealings way back.
145
00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:57,899
It's really starting to bug me.
146
00:06:57,900 --> 00:06:59,939
She wasn't that chemistry teacher
147
00:06:59,940 --> 00:07:02,299
who was getting the kids to
make LSD, was she?
148
00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:05,259
No, that was Mona. Oh!
And it was ecstasy.
149
00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:08,499
Well, at least it felt more like
ecstasy to me.
150
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:12,800
Rose? Martin, last time I had
Class A, I ended up married to Lee.
151
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:18,059
Come.
152
00:07:18,060 --> 00:07:22,099
Sit down.
153
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:25,179
I am tasked with creating
streamlined cluster teams.
154
00:07:25,180 --> 00:07:28,059
Ideally, I'd ask your superior,
Ingrid, to do this
155
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:31,219
but, as we all know, she's having
a procedure, thank Christ.
156
00:07:31,220 --> 00:07:33,859
I couldn't stand another day of
the mooncalf face
157
00:07:33,860 --> 00:07:38,160
and hysterectomy stoop. Got it.
158
00:07:40,980 --> 00:07:45,280
Martin, you look extremely hot.
159
00:07:46,860 --> 00:07:48,939
Thank you.
160
00:07:48,940 --> 00:07:50,419
Oh...
161
00:07:50,420 --> 00:07:54,459
No, I had to... I ran up the stairs
because the toilet...
162
00:07:54,460 --> 00:07:57,939
Poor timekeepers, clients on lists
of cases that are closed,
163
00:07:57,940 --> 00:08:01,419
slow responses will not be
tolerated. Music to my ears.
164
00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:03,939
Observe your colleagues and
write me a report.
165
00:08:03,940 --> 00:08:07,179
Who's value for money and,
more crucially, who isn't.
166
00:08:07,180 --> 00:08:10,579
And don't let personal allegiances
and friendships get in the way.
167
00:08:10,580 --> 00:08:14,880
Trust me, I won't. I don't have any.
168
00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:18,619
Anne-Marie, we closed your case
months ago. Why are you here?
169
00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:22,459
Is Charlie OK? Oh,
he's not called Charlie any more.
170
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:26,539
I thought it might have negative
associations when he's older.
171
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:29,139
So, what's he called, then? Al.
172
00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:32,299
Oh, I didn't name him after you.
173
00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:34,859
Short for... Little Alfie.
174
00:08:34,860 --> 00:08:39,160
Is there anything specific that
you wanted? Oh, yeah.
175
00:08:40,460 --> 00:08:44,760
I... Al Jr, he wanted to invite you
to his birthday party.
176
00:08:46,420 --> 00:08:50,720
Anne-Marie, I was your social
worker. I'm not his father.
177
00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:53,339
Oh, no, no, no.
He doesn't think you are.
178
00:08:54,540 --> 00:08:56,619
You see him twice as much as
he sees his real father.
179
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:59,419
Sorry.
It'd break his heart if you don't.
180
00:08:59,420 --> 00:09:01,579
Take the call, walk away,
don't mind me(!)
181
00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:03,579
No, no, no, no, it's just a client.
182
00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:06,819
It's an ex-client, actually.
It's nothing important.
183
00:09:06,820 --> 00:09:08,859
Oh, fucking thanks. What?
184
00:09:08,860 --> 00:09:11,499
You've been on my computer? Cait?
185
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:14,419
Look,
if this is about my search history,
186
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,299
I can completely explain that...
187
00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:18,979
I haven't defriended you. I don't
know what you're talking about.
188
00:09:18,980 --> 00:09:21,139
(I'm just going to go for a smoke.)
189
00:09:21,140 --> 00:09:22,659
Cait? Cait!
190
00:09:22,660 --> 00:09:24,539
Cait!
191
00:09:24,540 --> 00:09:26,699
Someone must've hacked my account.
192
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:30,139
Look, I'll call you back.
193
00:09:30,140 --> 00:09:34,440
Oh, shit.
194
00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:42,579
That's been in there a couple of
weeks, actually. I wouldn't eat it.
195
00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:45,099
Yum.
196
00:09:46,940 --> 00:09:49,419
All right, Ing? Oh, yes, all good.
197
00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:53,720
I'm just wondering what it's going
to be like, being womb-less.
198
00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:58,339
Come along, Ingrid. It's not just
the lady-pipes that makes the woman.
199
00:09:58,340 --> 00:10:02,419
It's personality.
200
00:10:02,420 --> 00:10:04,699
Here she is,
the phantom of the fridge.
201
00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:06,939
What the fuck are you doing here,
Lee?
202
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:10,499
And why are you dressed like
a children's TV presenter from 1986?
203
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:14,800
And a very good morning to you too,
Rosie.
204
00:10:15,460 --> 00:10:17,099
I need to talk to you. Ouch!
205
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:20,819
Ow. Bollocks!
206
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,539
How did you even do this?
207
00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:25,059
I guessed your password and I've
got an app.
208
00:10:25,060 --> 00:10:28,499
You have to take this down. Have you
got an app for that? Oh, chill out.
209
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:31,499
Calm down. It hasn't been up that
long. I was just having a laugh.
210
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:34,219
It's not funny. OK?
I could lose my job.
211
00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:36,219
My fiancé thinks it's hilarious(!)
212
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:37,819
Fiancée? That old wagon?
213
00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:39,859
You need someone who
really loves you.
214
00:10:39,860 --> 00:10:43,499
She does love me. She's fiery, OK?
She comes from a fiery family.
215
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:47,259
Yeah, so do I. My brother's
doing 12 months for arson.
216
00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,379
I'm joking, I'm joking.
217
00:10:49,380 --> 00:10:52,059
He wasn't convicted.
They never found him.
218
00:10:52,060 --> 00:10:54,299
I never know when you're being
serious or not.
219
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:56,099
Just get it off this, OK?
220
00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:58,699
Get it off the Facebook,
get it out of the Cloud,
221
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,459
get it off of the world wide
whatever the fuck it is.
222
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:03,059
Make it go away.
223
00:11:03,060 --> 00:11:06,739
Done. Really? Is that it? Yeah.
224
00:11:06,740 --> 00:11:09,899
OK, thank you. You can't come round
here any more. What?
225
00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:13,019
It's not a drop-in centre.
Your case is closed. OK?
226
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:16,819
You no longer meet the needs
thresholds.
227
00:11:16,820 --> 00:11:21,120
But there's loads of things I still
need. What? Like car insurance.
228
00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:25,419
You've got a car now? No, but only
cos I don't have any insurance.
229
00:11:25,420 --> 00:11:28,379
Look...
230
00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:30,379
You've been through hell, OK?
231
00:11:30,380 --> 00:11:34,579
But you survived,
so you should be proud of yourself.
232
00:11:34,580 --> 00:11:38,379
Oh...
233
00:11:38,380 --> 00:11:42,619
All right, come on.
234
00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:44,819
You promised you'd have them
for the weekend.
235
00:11:44,820 --> 00:11:47,819
You can't let the kids down again.
Letting you down, more like.
236
00:11:47,820 --> 00:11:50,179
What have you got planned that's
so important?
237
00:11:50,180 --> 00:11:52,899
A night in, cuddling up to
a bottle of £6 Cava?
238
00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:54,659
Look, I've got to go and help Mum,
OK?
239
00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:56,819
A rat has gnawed through
her toilet pipe.
240
00:11:56,820 --> 00:12:00,459
Euphemism? No. She is knee deep
in faecally constituted water.
241
00:12:00,460 --> 00:12:03,459
She can't deal with it. Well, I've
been invited away from the weekend,
242
00:12:03,460 --> 00:12:05,259
a house party in the Cotswolds.
243
00:12:05,260 --> 00:12:06,979
Is that why you're dressed
like a knob?
244
00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:10,219
No, it's just a different look. I've
changed. You've met someone,
245
00:12:10,220 --> 00:12:13,859
and you've just come here
deliberately to rub my nose in it!
246
00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:17,019
Rose, you are aware you've got a
management meeting in four minutes?
247
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:20,419
Hello, I am Rose's ex-husband.
We're not technically divorced yet.
248
00:12:20,420 --> 00:12:24,700
Personal visit. You know the rules,
Rose. Fuck off, Nitin.
249
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,919
LIFT CHIMES Thank you, everyone.
250
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,919
This is PC Harris,
and to my right is Cass,
251
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,359
our team psychologist.
252
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,239
So, if we're quorate,
253
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,599
Alastair, would you like to
bring us up-to-date, please?
254
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,639
Is that Alastair with an A or an I?
255
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:42,679
Both.
256
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,279
Aliastiair?
257
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:45,799
Just put Al.
258
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,159
Shouldn't we all have code numbers
instead?
259
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,279
It's simpler. I've got one already.
260
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:51,759
PC 237TA.
261
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:52,879
What does the TA stand for?
262
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,999
Total arsehole. No, actually.
263
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,559
TA indicates the borough.
264
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,519
We'll just use personal initials,
Natalie.
265
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,239
Where is RD? R who?
266
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:04,540
Rose Denby. She's dealing with
a very tricky client.
267
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,679
I thought it was her husband?
268
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:12,879
I'm very sorry I'm late, I couldn't
find any info on this Jones family.
269
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:16,399
Though I trust you sorted the domestic
arrangements with your husband?
270
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:19,279
You know the rules on bringing
personal issues into the workplace.
271
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,359
We're having some very bad press on
this matter.
272
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,399
I'm very sorry, Denise.
Don't minute that, OK.
273
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,119
I'm still writing down
the badge number.
274
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,599
Sorry, can we move this along a bit?
I need to get away early.
275
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:28,879
Are you going anywhere nice?
276
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,239
Young offenders institution.
277
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,919
Attempted suicide. Alastair, can we
get that update, please,
278
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:36,599
on the family with sibling
sexual...?
279
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,199
Ma'am, should I sit in on this?
280
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:42,359
No. See me after.
281
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:43,519
Did you save me a biscuit?
282
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,319
He's got three chocolate fingers
under his helmet.
283
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,679
That's a clever trick.
284
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:50,479
Rose, let's hear your report
on the Barber twins -
285
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,839
that's if you've had any time
to do any work.
286
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:54,039
The Barber twins.
287
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,439
What did they do?
288
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:58,959
They attacked and racially abused a
vulnerable man
289
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,719
and stabbed and set fire
to a pensioner.
290
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,319
These teenage lads are animals.
291
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:04,919
They're ten-year-old girls.
292
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,959
All phones should be off.
293
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:17,260
Turn it off now and your old lady
will know you dropped the call.
294
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:27,599
Now, no pressure to buy any of these
products, Martin.
295
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,439
I just sell them for a mate.
It's a cheeky sideline.
296
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,479
But if you do find something you
like, you get a 15% discount.
297
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,679
Now, let's have a look
at that barnet.
298
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,439
Ah-hah. Ever heard of hair putty?
299
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,079
You know, I know all about
hair product, Nat.
300
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,199
Believe it or not,
this was once a choppy mullet.
301
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,599
I used to be a New Romantic.
302
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,919
And now you're an old romantic.
303
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,719
Well, not so much since the wife
passed away, but...
304
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,639
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Martin.
305
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:54,799
You need to get yourself
on Match.com.
306
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,639
Oh, no.
307
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,999
I'm like a Titi monkey. Pardon?
308
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,199
We mate for life,
309
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,119
and I've got a big red bottom.
310
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,519
I'm joking. Oh.
311
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:09,820
Do you want me to get that?
Oh, yes. Yes.
312
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,039
'Hello...'
313
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:14,079
Hello. Elm Heath
Children's Services.
314
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,639
'Hello, I need to speak to the
board trustee.'
315
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:21,679
Rhona Jones?
316
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,879
Rose Denby, social services.
317
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,519
May I come in, please?
318
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,679
I don't fucking believe it.
319
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,839
It took a little while
for the penny to drop,
320
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:33,439
but no wonder it rung a bell.
321
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,919
So you married him, eh?
322
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:39,039
Not content with shagging my
boyfriend behind my back.
323
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,679
He was gagging to get away from you.
324
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,279
You were my friend.
325
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,639
I had nothing. You had it all -
326
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,279
a flat, a job, a gorgeous bloke with
a motorbike.
327
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,039
Yeah, so while I was slogging
my guts out on earlies,
328
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,239
you were in my bed having sex
with him.
329
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,759
Oh, and I'd forgotten this.
330
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,719
You bastards chucked me out!
331
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:56,919
We gave you the motorbike.
332
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,439
You gave me chlamydia -
I didn't want the fucking motorbike!
333
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:00,839
It was worth a few grand.
334
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,159
Good, because I lobbed it
in the canal.
335
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:05,559
Anyway, you won in the end.
You got Andy.
336
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:11,199
Hello, Rose.
337
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,759
Oh, my God.
338
00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,919
That much? Jesus. How much for six?
339
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,599
You can order roses cheap online.
340
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,599
Yeah, maybe when you're not at work.
341
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,399
It has not expired!
342
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,599
I just used it in Costcutter!
343
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:26,959
Bollocks!
344
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,839
PHONE BEEPS Oh...
345
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,239
I could deliver some flowers to
Caitlin if you want?
346
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,159
In fact, they've got a two-for-one
offer at the service station
347
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,479
down the road. Yeah, yeah.
348
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:36,519
That will win her back(!)
349
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:39,159
A total stranger who looks like
he's stuck his face in a plug socket
350
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,759
rocks up on her doorstep with
a bunch of shitty carnations.
351
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:42,879
Perfect(!)
352
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,799
Sorry, sorry...
353
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,599
I'm really stressed.
Oh, that's all right, Al.
354
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:48,679
I know you're hurting.
355
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,039
But, by the way,
I wouldn't have taken carnations.
356
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,119
They smell of sadness and marzipan.
357
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,759
Why do blokes always think a bouquet
will sort all their crap out?
358
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:58,119
Yeah, I'm proud to say I've never
bought a woman flowers.
359
00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,439
What am I supposed to do?
360
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,519
Caitlin won't even return my calls.
361
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:05,820
With pretty bloody good reason, Al.
362
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,639
That's you, isn't it?
363
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:09,639
Nan, I'm hungry!
364
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,639
All right, hang on a minute.
365
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,559
TV: 'Are you on e-mail?'
366
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:35,460
Oi.
367
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,479
So, this is a bit of a surprise.
368
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:46,359
I'll say. Last time I saw you,
you were balls deep in Rhona.
369
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,559
You broke my heart, you bastard.
370
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,679
It took me ages to get over you.
371
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,719
Come and sit in the other room.
Come on, take your tablets.
372
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,799
Have you heard of
the code of ethics?
373
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:12,439
Social workers must establish
appropriate boundaries and not abuse
374
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,199
their position for personal benefit,
375
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,319
financial gain or
sexual exploitation.
376
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,959
But... But? I'm looking forward to
seeing where your but's going.
377
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,719
But nothing happened!
378
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,599
I'm in a relationship with Caitlin -
why would I risk throwing that away?
379
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:26,559
You weren't thinking with your head,
you were thinking with your...
380
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:27,919
Please don't say cock.
381
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:29,959
We can't take the risk. We?
382
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,519
Me and Denise.
383
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:34,119
All right. Dob us in. Grass us up.
384
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:38,420
But please be aware that, "making
an audiovisual recording of
385
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,239
"a colleague without their written
permission is cause for
386
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:45,540
"serious disciplinary action."
387
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,319
Can I just...? I don't remember
that bit.
388
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:48,799
Have a Bourbon.
389
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:49,999
I don't want a Bourbon, Al.
390
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,959
Give my regards to Denise while
she's sucking you off.
391
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,559
Are you going to take the kids
away from us?
392
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:02,959
What's going on here?
393
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:07,260
Where's their mum? She's back in
rehab trying to get clean again.
394
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:09,959
She's a smackhead, Rose -
395
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,679
lies, cheats, steals from us.
396
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,399
We just couldn't cope any more.
397
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,519
What about the dad?
398
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:18,239
Overdosed a year ago. Wanker.
399
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,439
He was the one that got her into it.
400
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:21,839
You need some support.
401
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,839
Are the older children
even going to school?
402
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:28,599
Some days, but when Andy's bad,
I can't leave him.
403
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,239
He's really sick.
404
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,879
The problem is, if I plug this
into the system,
405
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,399
then it's out of my hands.
406
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,559
The kids could be taken into care.
407
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:38,639
You must be loving this.
408
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,039
Oh, yeah, obviously I really get
my kicks out of
409
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:44,519
taking innocent children away
from families(!)
410
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,399
I'll tell you what I'm going to do,
all right?
411
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:50,559
Is I'm going to try and source you
some alternative assistance, OK?
412
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,359
I don't need no more fucking
helplines and discussion groups.
413
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,079
I need someone to go to Lidl's.
414
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:56,319
These charities are good.
415
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,879
I want you to ring them
and talk to them, OK?
416
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,399
I'm leaving you these numbers.
417
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,519
If I come back on Monday and you
haven't contacted anyone,
418
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,199
I'm going to show no mercy.
419
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:09,500
These kids cannot carry on
living like this.
420
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,839
All right, now, this one here, OK?
421
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:17,359
Like, a mate of mine runs that,
all right?
422
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:20,879
And they offer practical help,
so make sure he contacts them, OK?
423
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:23,679
Thank you.
424
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,279
You didn't have to.
No, you're right there.
425
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:30,580
I nearly went next door, sat on his
face and put him out of his misery.
426
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,439
KEYPAD BEEPS Are you all right?
427
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,599
You look like you've swallowed
a knacker's bumhole.
428
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,599
Cheers.
429
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,319
What's the intel on
the Jones family?
430
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,399
Are they section 17?
Do we need to mobilise?
431
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,199
No, we just need to keep an eye out.
432
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,279
I'm keeping an eye out, Rose...
433
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,599
for your bullshit.
434
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,239
Oh.
435
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:55,719
Hello?
436
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,919
Nitin's on the warpath.
437
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,639
I think I managed to shut him down
with my superior knowledge of
438
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:01,919
the code of ethics rule book.
439
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,799
What? You mean you read that?
440
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,999
Of course not -
I just made some shit up.
441
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:20,260
What are you doing?
This way, come on.
442
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,519
Look, I'm sorry.
443
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,639
I did a bad thing,
444
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,319
but we really miss you.
445
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,879
Give Al the flowers.
446
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,559
Thank you, little fella.
447
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,399
Well, I'm going to give these to
your mummy,
448
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,759
because she deserves them.
449
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,399
When a man does something nice,
he normally wants something, baby.
450
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,999
I don't want anything,
I just want you to go away, OK?
451
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:46,239
In the nicest way possible.
452
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,279
I thought you cared.
453
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:51,319
Look, it's my job to provide
appropriate advice,
454
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,519
and support and resources.
455
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,479
It's not my job to...
456
00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:01,780
It's not my job to care.
457
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,639
Oh...
458
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,839
I've had more interesting reports
from my daughter's primary school.
459
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:10,319
You have one week to come in here
and give me some proper dirt.
460
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,039
Right. Sorry.
I have to let people go,
461
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,239
and if you're not careful,
it's going to be you.
462
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:15,519
Now, piss off.
463
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:16,959
And Nitin, change your shirt -
464
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,079
it looks like a mouse has done
a shit in the pocket.
465
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,639
Oh, what?
466
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:24,199
See you tomorrow. So you managed to
persuade Lee to take the kids?
467
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:25,599
We compromised.
468
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:27,119
He's giving them tea at mine
469
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,999
and I said then he could go on his
posh-twats weekend.
470
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,079
Oh, it's not like you to compromise.
471
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,919
Thank you. Oh, I don't know,
maybe Lee's not so bad.
472
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,439
I've had worse boyfriends.
473
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,759
Shove them out, that's it.
474
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,319
Kids, Lee!
475
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:42,679
I'm home.
476
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,839
Just be a bit careful... Mum, Dad's
teaching us how to cook chips!
477
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,039
Oh, how brilliant! You need to get
back in the kitchen!
478
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,079
That's right, then.
Just flip them up on the tray.
479
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,919
Where is he? Move them around with
your hand, it doesn't matter.
480
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,319
They won't be too hot.
481
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,719
Hiya!
482
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:03,020
♪ People, they ain't no good
483
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:09,380
♪ I think that's well understood
484
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:16,620
♪ You can see it everywhere you look
485
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,660
♪ People just ain't no good... ♪
485
00:23:22,305 --> 00:23:28,492
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