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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:45,270 --> 00:01:48,570 - It's 2 o'clock in the morning. - Oh, George! 2 00:01:48,770 --> 00:01:50,070 Well, it is. 3 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,170 What a cluck you are! 4 00:01:54,170 --> 00:01:55,870 It's late, you know. It's late. 5 00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:18,970 What a dump! 6 00:04:21,370 --> 00:04:24,470 Hey, what's that from? "What a dump!" 7 00:04:25,370 --> 00:04:26,670 How would I know? 8 00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:29,870 Oh, come on, what's it from? You know! 9 00:04:32,570 --> 00:04:35,170 What's it from, for Christ's sake? 10 00:04:35,570 --> 00:04:37,070 What's what from? 11 00:04:37,870 --> 00:04:40,870 I just told you. I just did it. 12 00:04:41,170 --> 00:04:43,170 "What a dump!" 13 00:04:44,170 --> 00:04:46,170 Huh? What's that from? 14 00:04:46,570 --> 00:04:48,370 I haven't the faintest idea. 15 00:04:49,070 --> 00:04:50,270 Dumbbell! 16 00:04:50,970 --> 00:04:53,070 It's from some Bette Davis picture... 17 00:04:53,370 --> 00:04:55,370 ...some goddamn Warner Brothers epic. 18 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:59,670 Martha, I can't remember all the films that came out of Warner Brothers. 19 00:05:00,070 --> 00:05:03,070 Nobody's asking you to remember every Warner Brothers epic. 20 00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:05,570 Just one single little epic. That's all. 21 00:05:06,370 --> 00:05:08,770 Bette Davis gets peritonitis at the end. 22 00:05:09,070 --> 00:05:11,770 And she wears a fright wig throughout the picture. 23 00:05:12,070 --> 00:05:14,270 She's married to Joseph Cotten or something. 24 00:05:14,570 --> 00:05:15,570 Somebody. 25 00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:21,270 She wants to go to Chicago because she loves that actor with the scar. 26 00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:23,070 She gets sick... 27 00:05:23,270 --> 00:05:25,370 ...and sits down at her dressing table... 28 00:05:25,770 --> 00:05:27,270 What actor? What scar? 29 00:05:27,570 --> 00:05:30,370 I can't remember his name! What's the picture? 30 00:05:30,770 --> 00:05:32,770 I want to know the name of the picture. 31 00:05:34,270 --> 00:05:36,570 She gets this peritonitis... 32 00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:40,770 ...and decides to go to Chicago anyway. 33 00:05:41,470 --> 00:05:43,470 "Chicago"! It's called "Chicago." 34 00:05:46,270 --> 00:05:47,270 What is? 35 00:05:48,770 --> 00:05:50,670 I mean the picture. It's "Chicago." 36 00:05:51,470 --> 00:05:53,470 Oh, good grief! 37 00:05:54,470 --> 00:05:56,070 Don't you know anything? 38 00:05:56,970 --> 00:05:59,570 "Chicago" was a '30s musical... 39 00:05:59,970 --> 00:06:03,470 ...starring little Miss Alice Faye. Don't you know anything? 40 00:06:04,770 --> 00:06:05,770 This picture... 41 00:06:06,570 --> 00:06:10,270 ...Bette Davis comes home from a hard day at the grocery store... 42 00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:12,270 She works in a grocery store? 43 00:06:13,670 --> 00:06:16,270 She's a housewife. She buys things. 44 00:06:18,470 --> 00:06:19,970 She comes with the groceries... 45 00:06:20,670 --> 00:06:23,270 ...and she walks into the modest living room... 46 00:06:23,670 --> 00:06:27,470 ...of the modest cottage modest Joseph Cotten set her up in. 47 00:06:27,770 --> 00:06:28,670 Are they married? 48 00:06:29,770 --> 00:06:32,670 Yes, they're married. To each other, cluck! 49 00:06:33,470 --> 00:06:38,170 And she comes in and she looks around this room... 50 00:06:39,770 --> 00:06:41,970 ...and she sets down her groceries. 51 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:43,870 And she says... 52 00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:46,870 ..."What a dump!" 53 00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:54,670 She's discontent. 54 00:06:57,870 --> 00:06:59,370 What's the name of the picture? 55 00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,670 I really don't know. 56 00:07:01,970 --> 00:07:03,370 Well, think! 57 00:07:03,670 --> 00:07:04,670 I'm tired, dear. 58 00:07:04,970 --> 00:07:08,370 I don't know why you're tired. You didn't do anything today. 59 00:07:08,670 --> 00:07:10,470 - I'm tired. - You didn't have classes. 60 00:07:10,670 --> 00:07:14,570 If your father didn't always set up these Saturday night orgies... 61 00:07:14,870 --> 00:07:16,670 Well, it's just too bad about you. 62 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,670 Well, that's how it is anyway. 63 00:07:19,070 --> 00:07:23,370 You didn't do anything. You never do. You never mix! 64 00:07:23,670 --> 00:07:25,370 You just sit around and talk. 65 00:07:26,170 --> 00:07:30,170 What do you want me to do? Bray at everyone all night like you do? 66 00:07:30,570 --> 00:07:32,170 I don't bray! 67 00:07:32,570 --> 00:07:34,570 All right, you don't bray. 68 00:07:35,570 --> 00:07:37,070 I did not bray. 69 00:07:37,370 --> 00:07:38,870 I said you didn't bray! 70 00:07:41,070 --> 00:07:42,070 Fix me a drink. 71 00:07:43,570 --> 00:07:44,670 Haven't you had enough? 72 00:07:45,370 --> 00:07:47,770 I said fix me a drink! 73 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:53,770 Well, I don't suppose a nightcap would kill either of us. 74 00:07:54,870 --> 00:07:56,870 A nightcap? Are you kidding? 75 00:07:58,570 --> 00:07:59,670 We've got guests. 76 00:08:02,070 --> 00:08:02,870 Got what? 77 00:08:05,370 --> 00:08:07,870 Guests. Guests! 78 00:08:10,270 --> 00:08:14,270 Yeah, guests. People. We've got guests coming over. 79 00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:15,770 When? 80 00:08:16,770 --> 00:08:17,770 Now. 81 00:08:18,770 --> 00:08:21,070 Good Lord, Martha, do you know what time it is? 82 00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:24,270 Who's coming over? 83 00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:26,670 - What's-their-name. - Who? 84 00:08:28,370 --> 00:08:30,070 Who's what's-their-name? 85 00:08:31,270 --> 00:08:34,070 I don't know their name, George. 86 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:39,070 We met tonight. They're new. He's in the math department or something. 87 00:08:39,470 --> 00:08:41,970 I don't remember meeting anybody tonight. 88 00:08:42,170 --> 00:08:43,770 Well, you did. 89 00:08:43,970 --> 00:08:46,770 Of all the asinine... Who are these people? 90 00:08:47,070 --> 00:08:49,970 He's in the Math Department. 91 00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:51,070 Who? 92 00:08:51,470 --> 00:08:56,170 He's in the Math Department. He's young and he's blond... 93 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:58,470 He's good-looking, well-built? 94 00:08:58,770 --> 00:09:01,270 Yes, good-looking, well-built. 95 00:09:02,670 --> 00:09:04,670 - It figures. - What? 96 00:09:04,870 --> 00:09:05,970 Nothing. 97 00:09:06,470 --> 00:09:09,970 His wife's a mousy little type without any hips or anything. 98 00:09:11,270 --> 00:09:12,270 Remember them now? 99 00:09:12,770 --> 00:09:15,670 I guess so. But why do they have to come over now? 100 00:09:15,970 --> 00:09:18,970 Because Daddy said we should be nice to them, that's why. 101 00:09:19,770 --> 00:09:22,270 - Daddy said we should be nice to them. - Why now...? 102 00:09:22,470 --> 00:09:25,170 Because Daddy said we should be nice to them! 103 00:09:25,470 --> 00:09:28,970 He didn't mean we were supposed to stay up all night with them. 104 00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:31,370 We could have them over some Sunday. 105 00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:33,970 Well, never mind. Besides, it is Sunday. 106 00:09:35,170 --> 00:09:36,970 Very early Sunday. 107 00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:40,470 - It's ridiculous! - Well, it's done. 108 00:10:06,670 --> 00:10:09,870 Where are they? If we've got guests, where are they? 109 00:10:10,170 --> 00:10:11,670 They'll be here soon. 110 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,370 What'd they do, go home and get some sleep first? 111 00:10:15,170 --> 00:10:17,170 They'll be here. 112 00:10:17,370 --> 00:10:18,770 I wish you'd tell me... 113 00:10:19,070 --> 00:10:22,070 ...about things. Stop springing things on me all the time. 114 00:10:22,570 --> 00:10:25,270 I don't spring things on you all the time. 115 00:10:25,570 --> 00:10:29,170 You really do! You're always springing things on me. 116 00:10:30,070 --> 00:10:31,370 Always. 117 00:10:32,170 --> 00:10:35,970 Poor Georgie Porgie put-upon-pie. 118 00:10:42,770 --> 00:10:45,870 What are you doing? Are you sulking? 119 00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:50,870 Let me see. Are you sulking? 120 00:10:51,270 --> 00:10:53,570 Is that what you're doing? 121 00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:55,570 Never mind. 122 00:10:58,370 --> 00:10:59,870 Just don't bother yourself. 123 00:11:08,970 --> 00:11:13,570 Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf, Virginia Woolf, Virginia Woolf? 124 00:11:20,470 --> 00:11:23,870 What's wrong? Didn't think it's funny? I thought it was a scream. 125 00:11:24,270 --> 00:11:25,370 It was all right. 126 00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:27,870 You laughed when you heard it at the party. 127 00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:29,770 I smiled. I didn't laugh. 128 00:11:30,070 --> 00:11:32,370 You laughed your goddamn head off! 129 00:11:32,770 --> 00:11:33,570 It was all right. 130 00:11:33,970 --> 00:11:35,570 It was a scream. 131 00:11:35,970 --> 00:11:38,770 It was very funny, yes. 132 00:11:39,570 --> 00:11:41,170 You make me puke. 133 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,570 You make me puke. 134 00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:47,370 Wasn't a very nice thing to say. 135 00:11:47,770 --> 00:11:49,270 That wasn't what? 136 00:11:49,670 --> 00:11:51,470 A very nice thing to say. 137 00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:53,470 Oh, I like your anger. 138 00:11:53,970 --> 00:11:57,270 I think that's what I like about you most. 139 00:11:57,670 --> 00:11:58,970 Your anger. 140 00:12:02,070 --> 00:12:04,470 You are such a simp! 141 00:12:04,770 --> 00:12:06,570 You haven't got... 142 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,070 ...the what? 143 00:12:11,770 --> 00:12:12,570 Guts? 144 00:12:14,670 --> 00:12:15,970 Phrase-maker. 145 00:12:37,670 --> 00:12:40,670 You never put any ice in my drink. Why is that? 146 00:12:41,670 --> 00:12:44,670 I always put ice in your drinks. You eat it, that's all. 147 00:12:44,970 --> 00:12:49,470 It's this habit you've got of chewing on your ice cubes like a cocker spaniel. 148 00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:53,170 You'll crack your big teeth. 149 00:12:54,370 --> 00:12:56,170 Well, they're my big teeth. 150 00:12:56,670 --> 00:12:58,370 Yeah, some of them, some of them. 151 00:12:58,670 --> 00:13:00,670 I've got more teeth than you have. 152 00:13:01,070 --> 00:13:02,170 Two more. 153 00:13:04,670 --> 00:13:06,470 And you're going bald. 154 00:13:07,570 --> 00:13:08,370 So are you. 155 00:13:27,070 --> 00:13:27,970 Hello, honey. 156 00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:35,070 Come on and give your mommy a big sloppy kiss. 157 00:13:36,570 --> 00:13:39,170 I want a big sloppy kiss! 158 00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:41,370 I don't want to kiss you right now. 159 00:13:43,770 --> 00:13:45,670 Where are these people you invited? 160 00:13:46,070 --> 00:13:50,670 Where is this good looking, well-built young man and his slim-hipped wife? 161 00:13:51,770 --> 00:13:53,870 Talking to Daddy. They'll be here. 162 00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:58,570 Why didn't you want to kiss me? 163 00:14:11,970 --> 00:14:13,670 Why didn't you want to kiss me? 164 00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:18,070 If I kissed you I'd get all excited. I'd get beside myself... 165 00:14:18,470 --> 00:14:21,770 ...and then I'd have to take you by force on the living room rug. 166 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:26,570 Then our guests would walk in and what would your father say about that? 167 00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:28,770 Oh, you pig! 168 00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,370 Fix me another drink, lover. 169 00:14:34,170 --> 00:14:36,470 God, you can swill it down, can't you? 170 00:14:36,670 --> 00:14:38,070 I'm thirsty! 171 00:14:38,470 --> 00:14:39,470 Oh, Jesus! 172 00:14:39,770 --> 00:14:43,770 I can drink you under any table you want, so don't worry about me. 173 00:14:44,170 --> 00:14:48,770 You got the prize years ago. You've won every abomination award. 174 00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:52,270 I swear if you existed I'd divorce you. 175 00:14:52,670 --> 00:14:55,770 - Stay on your feet for your guests. - I can't even see you! 176 00:14:56,270 --> 00:15:00,270 If you pass out or throw up... And try to keep your clothes on too. 177 00:15:00,670 --> 00:15:04,970 There's no more sickening sight than you drunk and your skirt over your head. 178 00:15:05,870 --> 00:15:07,270 Your heads, I should say. 179 00:15:08,470 --> 00:15:10,670 Party! Party! 180 00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:13,670 I'm really looking forward to this. 181 00:15:13,870 --> 00:15:15,870 - Go answer the door. - You answer it. 182 00:15:16,070 --> 00:15:17,270 Get to that door, you! 183 00:15:18,670 --> 00:15:19,670 Come on in! 184 00:15:19,870 --> 00:15:21,470 Get over and answer that door. 185 00:15:21,870 --> 00:15:25,970 All right. Whatever love wants. Just don't start on the bit, that's all. 186 00:15:26,370 --> 00:15:27,870 The bit? 187 00:15:28,670 --> 00:15:31,470 What language is that? Imitating one of your students? 188 00:15:31,870 --> 00:15:34,770 Don't start in on the bit about the kid, that's all. 189 00:15:35,170 --> 00:15:37,470 - What do you take me for? - Much too much. 190 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,670 I'll start in on the kid if I want to. 191 00:15:40,070 --> 00:15:41,170 I'd advise against it. 192 00:15:41,570 --> 00:15:44,670 Well, good for you. Get over there and open that door. 193 00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:46,170 You've been advised. 194 00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:47,470 Sure. Get over there. 195 00:15:47,870 --> 00:15:49,670 Yes, love. Whatever love wants. 196 00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:52,170 Some people still have manners... 197 00:15:52,570 --> 00:15:55,170 ...and just don't break into people's houses. 198 00:15:55,570 --> 00:15:59,170 Even if they hear a subhuman monster yowling at them from inside. 199 00:15:59,570 --> 00:16:00,670 Goddamn you! 200 00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:11,670 You must be our little guests. 201 00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:15,470 Just ignore old sourpuss here. Come on in, kids! 202 00:16:16,070 --> 00:16:18,870 Just hand your coats to old sourpuss here. 203 00:16:19,370 --> 00:16:20,670 Perhaps we shouldn't have come. 204 00:16:21,070 --> 00:16:22,570 Yes, it is late! 205 00:16:22,870 --> 00:16:26,670 Late! Are you kidding? Just throw your stuff down any place. 206 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,870 Furniture, floor. Makes no difference around here. 207 00:16:30,870 --> 00:16:32,570 I told you we shouldn't have come. 208 00:16:32,770 --> 00:16:34,870 I said come on in. Now come on! 209 00:16:37,770 --> 00:16:39,570 Look, muckmouth, you cut that out! 210 00:16:40,770 --> 00:16:42,870 Martha's a devil with language. 211 00:16:45,470 --> 00:16:46,970 Kids, sit down. 212 00:16:50,770 --> 00:16:52,870 Isn't this lovely? 213 00:16:55,070 --> 00:16:57,970 - Yes, indeed. Very handsome. - Thank you. 214 00:17:13,270 --> 00:17:14,870 Who did the painting? 215 00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:19,870 Some Greek with a mustache Martha attacked one night in a... 216 00:17:22,870 --> 00:17:24,970 It's got a... 217 00:17:25,470 --> 00:17:27,470 - Quiet intensity? - Well, no... 218 00:17:27,670 --> 00:17:29,970 Then a certain noisy relaxed quality maybe? 219 00:17:31,770 --> 00:17:33,970 How about a quietly noisy relaxed intensity? 220 00:17:34,170 --> 00:17:35,970 Dear, you're being joshed. 221 00:17:36,670 --> 00:17:37,770 I'm aware of that. 222 00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:39,070 I am sorry. 223 00:17:39,470 --> 00:17:43,970 It's actually a pictorial representation of the order of Martha's mind. 224 00:17:47,470 --> 00:17:48,570 Fix the kids a drink. 225 00:17:48,870 --> 00:17:50,670 What would you like to drink? 226 00:17:53,170 --> 00:17:54,470 What would you like? 227 00:17:55,670 --> 00:17:58,670 A little brandy maybe. Never mix, never worry! 228 00:17:58,970 --> 00:18:01,170 Brandy? Just brandy. Simple, simple. 229 00:18:01,470 --> 00:18:02,970 What about you... 230 00:18:06,870 --> 00:18:08,370 Bourbon, if you don't mind. 231 00:18:08,570 --> 00:18:10,970 Mind? I don't mind. Don't think I mind. 232 00:18:11,370 --> 00:18:13,170 Martha, rubbing alcohol for you? 233 00:18:13,470 --> 00:18:15,470 Sure. Never mix, never worry! 234 00:18:25,870 --> 00:18:28,670 Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf? 235 00:18:31,170 --> 00:18:33,970 Wasn't that funny? That was so funny! 236 00:18:34,670 --> 00:18:35,470 Yes, it was. 237 00:18:35,670 --> 00:18:37,870 I thought I'd bust a gut! 238 00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:42,870 George didn't think it was funny. 239 00:18:43,170 --> 00:18:46,670 Martha thinks that unless you bust a gut you're not amused. 240 00:18:47,070 --> 00:18:49,670 Unless you carry on like a hyena you're not having fun. 241 00:18:50,070 --> 00:18:52,870 I certainly had fun. It was a wonderful party! 242 00:18:53,170 --> 00:18:57,170 - It certainly was. - Your father, he is so wonderful! 243 00:19:00,270 --> 00:19:02,370 He's quite a guy, isn't he? 244 00:19:02,770 --> 00:19:04,070 You better believe it. 245 00:19:04,370 --> 00:19:05,870 He's a marvelous man. 246 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:08,370 I'm not tearing him down. We know he's a god. 247 00:19:08,770 --> 00:19:10,070 You lay off my father. 248 00:19:10,370 --> 00:19:13,370 When you've had as many faculty parties as I have... 249 00:19:13,770 --> 00:19:15,070 I rather appreciated it. 250 00:19:16,870 --> 00:19:19,670 I mean aside from enjoying it, I appreciated it. 251 00:19:20,270 --> 00:19:24,670 Meeting, introducing, how he had us stay at the Inn till our place is ready. 252 00:19:25,470 --> 00:19:26,670 When I taught in Kansas... 253 00:19:26,970 --> 00:19:28,370 You won't believe it... 254 00:19:28,570 --> 00:19:33,570 ...but we had to make our way all by ourselves. Isn't that right, dear? 255 00:19:33,970 --> 00:19:35,770 We had to make our own way. 256 00:19:35,970 --> 00:19:40,270 I'd have to go up to the wives in the library or the supermarket... 257 00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:43,070 ...and say, "Hello, I am new here." 258 00:19:43,470 --> 00:19:46,870 "You must be Mrs. So-and-so, Doctor So-and-so's wife." 259 00:19:47,070 --> 00:19:49,370 It really wasn't very nice at all. 260 00:19:53,270 --> 00:19:54,770 Daddy knows how to run things. 261 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:56,970 He's a remarkable man. 262 00:19:57,270 --> 00:19:58,570 You bet your sweet life. 263 00:19:59,570 --> 00:20:00,770 I'll tell you a secret. 264 00:20:01,470 --> 00:20:05,970 There are easier things in this world, if you teach at the university... 265 00:20:06,270 --> 00:20:08,270 ...than being married to the daughter of... 266 00:20:08,670 --> 00:20:12,270 ...the president of that university. There are easier things. 267 00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:17,570 It's a great opportunity. For some men it would be the chance of a lifetime. 268 00:20:17,770 --> 00:20:21,270 There are, believe me, easier things in this world. 269 00:20:21,670 --> 00:20:24,270 Some men would give their right arm for the chance! 270 00:20:24,670 --> 00:20:29,170 In reality that sacrifice is of a more private portion of the anatomy. 271 00:20:31,470 --> 00:20:33,170 Could you show me where the... 272 00:20:33,670 --> 00:20:34,470 Are you all right? 273 00:20:34,870 --> 00:20:38,970 Of course, dear. I just want to put some powder on my nose. 274 00:20:39,470 --> 00:20:41,670 Show her where we keep the euphemism? 275 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,670 I'm sorry. I want to show you the house anyway. 276 00:20:49,370 --> 00:20:50,870 We'll be back, dear. 277 00:20:51,970 --> 00:20:54,370 Honestly, George, you burn me up! 278 00:20:54,970 --> 00:20:55,970 You really do! 279 00:20:57,970 --> 00:21:00,370 Don't shoot your mouth off about you-know-what. 280 00:21:00,970 --> 00:21:03,970 I'll talk about any goddamn thing I want to! 281 00:21:04,370 --> 00:21:05,470 Okay, vanish! 282 00:21:05,870 --> 00:21:08,170 Any goddamn thing I want! 283 00:21:38,370 --> 00:21:39,670 What'll it be? 284 00:21:39,870 --> 00:21:41,370 I'll stick to bourbon. 285 00:21:48,870 --> 00:21:51,070 You're in the Math Department? 286 00:21:51,270 --> 00:21:52,170 No. 287 00:21:56,570 --> 00:21:58,870 Martha said so. I think that's what she said. 288 00:22:05,870 --> 00:22:07,570 Why'd you decide to be a teacher? 289 00:22:09,270 --> 00:22:11,870 The same things that motivated you, I imagine. 290 00:22:12,270 --> 00:22:13,570 Oh? What were they? 291 00:22:14,770 --> 00:22:16,770 What were the things that motivated me? 292 00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:19,070 Well, I'm sure I don't know. 293 00:22:19,270 --> 00:22:22,070 You said the things that motivated you and me were the same. 294 00:22:22,470 --> 00:22:23,770 I said I imagined they were. 295 00:22:24,270 --> 00:22:25,370 Oh, did you? 296 00:22:36,770 --> 00:22:38,070 You like it here? 297 00:22:40,070 --> 00:22:41,270 Yes, it's fine. 298 00:22:41,570 --> 00:22:42,970 I meant the university. 299 00:22:44,670 --> 00:22:46,870 I know. I meant the university. 300 00:22:47,970 --> 00:22:49,770 Well, I like it fine. 301 00:23:03,170 --> 00:23:06,770 You've been here for quite a long time, haven't you? 302 00:23:11,770 --> 00:23:15,970 Oh, yes. Ever since I married what's-her-name. Martha. 303 00:23:17,170 --> 00:23:19,670 Even before that. Forever. 304 00:23:20,170 --> 00:23:21,970 Dashed hopes and good intentions. 305 00:23:22,970 --> 00:23:25,970 Good, better, best, bested! 306 00:23:28,170 --> 00:23:29,970 How do you like that for a declension? 307 00:23:30,470 --> 00:23:31,870 You didn't answer my question. 308 00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:37,370 Don't condescend. I asked you how you liked that declension. 309 00:23:39,470 --> 00:23:40,870 I don't know what to say. 310 00:23:41,370 --> 00:23:42,670 You don't know what to say? 311 00:23:43,270 --> 00:23:46,670 Shall I say it's funny, so you can say it's sad? 312 00:23:46,870 --> 00:23:51,670 Or shall I say it's sad so you can say it's funny? You can play that game! 313 00:23:52,270 --> 00:23:54,170 - Very good! - I think we'll just... 314 00:23:54,670 --> 00:23:57,170 Now, calm down. Just calm down. All right? 315 00:23:57,570 --> 00:23:58,670 Another drink? Here. 316 00:23:59,070 --> 00:24:01,370 I still have one. And when my wife comes down... 317 00:24:03,070 --> 00:24:07,670 What I mean is, you and your wife seem to be having some sort of a... 318 00:24:08,370 --> 00:24:12,070 Martha and I are having nothing. Martha and I are merely exercising. 319 00:24:12,370 --> 00:24:15,570 We're walking what's left of our wits. Pay no attention. 320 00:24:15,870 --> 00:24:17,870 Now let's sit down and talk, huh? 321 00:24:18,570 --> 00:24:22,370 It's just I don't like to become involved in other people's affairs. 322 00:24:22,870 --> 00:24:26,570 You'll get over that. Small college. Musical beds is the faculty sport. 323 00:24:26,870 --> 00:24:27,770 Sir? 324 00:24:28,070 --> 00:24:30,870 Never mind. I wish you wouldn't go "sir." How old are you? 325 00:24:31,370 --> 00:24:32,370 Twenty-eight. 326 00:24:32,570 --> 00:24:33,870 I'm forty-something. 327 00:24:34,970 --> 00:24:37,370 Aren't you surprised? Don't I look older? 328 00:24:39,870 --> 00:24:41,270 I think you look fine. 329 00:24:41,570 --> 00:24:44,870 I've always been lean. I play handball. How much do you weigh? 330 00:24:46,370 --> 00:24:49,270 155,160, something like that? You play handball? 331 00:24:49,570 --> 00:24:51,470 - Not very well. - We'll play sometime. 332 00:24:51,670 --> 00:24:56,070 Martha is 108... years old. She weighs somewhat more than that. 333 00:24:56,370 --> 00:24:57,370 How old is your wife? 334 00:24:58,770 --> 00:25:00,070 She's twenty-six. 335 00:25:00,470 --> 00:25:03,970 Martha is a remarkable woman. I imagine she weighs around 110. 336 00:25:04,270 --> 00:25:05,270 Your wife weighs... 337 00:25:05,570 --> 00:25:08,070 No, my boy, your wife. My wife is Martha. 338 00:25:08,770 --> 00:25:10,070 Yes, I know. 339 00:25:10,570 --> 00:25:13,770 If you were married to Martha you'd know what it means. 340 00:25:15,270 --> 00:25:17,770 If I were married to your wife, I'd know what that means. 341 00:25:21,970 --> 00:25:25,070 Martha says you are in the Math Department or something. 342 00:25:26,570 --> 00:25:27,570 No, I'm not. 343 00:25:27,970 --> 00:25:31,070 She's seldom mistaken. Maybe you should be in it. 344 00:25:31,970 --> 00:25:34,570 I'm a biologist. I'm in the Biology Department. 345 00:25:39,470 --> 00:25:43,770 You're the one's going to make all that trouble making everyone the same. 346 00:25:44,170 --> 00:25:47,270 Rearranging the chromozones, or whatever it is, right? 347 00:25:48,470 --> 00:25:50,270 Not exactly. Chromosomes. 348 00:25:50,770 --> 00:25:51,970 I'm very mistrustful. 349 00:25:53,270 --> 00:25:56,770 You think we learn nothing from history? I'm in the History Department. 350 00:25:57,570 --> 00:25:58,470 Yes, I know. 351 00:25:58,670 --> 00:26:01,170 Martha tells me I'm in the History Department... 352 00:26:01,470 --> 00:26:05,970 ...as opposed to being the History Department, in the sense of running it. 353 00:26:06,270 --> 00:26:09,170 I do not run the History Department. 354 00:26:09,470 --> 00:26:11,370 I don't run the Biology Department. 355 00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:13,170 You're twenty-one. Twenty-eight. 356 00:26:13,670 --> 00:26:17,670 Perhaps when you're forty-something you'll run the History Department. 357 00:26:18,470 --> 00:26:19,870 Biology Department. 358 00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:22,870 I'm really very mistrustful! 359 00:26:23,670 --> 00:26:27,670 I read somewhere that science fiction is not really fiction at all. 360 00:26:27,970 --> 00:26:32,170 That you rearrange my genes so that everyone will be like everyone else. 361 00:26:32,470 --> 00:26:35,370 I suspect we shall not have much music or painting. 362 00:26:36,070 --> 00:26:40,370 But we'll have a civilization of sublime young men much like yourself. 363 00:26:40,670 --> 00:26:44,870 Cultures and races will vanish. The ants will take over the world. 364 00:26:45,570 --> 00:26:47,370 Don't know much about science, do you? 365 00:26:47,670 --> 00:26:50,570 I know history. I know when I'm being threatened. 366 00:26:52,670 --> 00:26:54,870 Your wife doesn't have any hips, does she? 367 00:26:56,870 --> 00:27:01,170 I'm not hip-happy. I was implying that your wife is slim-hipped. 368 00:27:02,570 --> 00:27:03,770 Yes, she is. 369 00:27:04,370 --> 00:27:05,370 You got any kids? 370 00:27:06,070 --> 00:27:07,870 No. Not yet. You? 371 00:27:08,170 --> 00:27:09,670 For me to know and you to find out. 372 00:27:13,070 --> 00:27:14,470 No kids, huh? 373 00:27:15,370 --> 00:27:16,170 What's wrong? 374 00:27:16,870 --> 00:27:19,670 Nothing. We wanted to wait till we're settled. 375 00:27:23,270 --> 00:27:24,870 Think you'll be happy here at New Carthage? 376 00:27:25,570 --> 00:27:28,870 Well, we hope to stay here. I don't mean forever. 377 00:27:29,370 --> 00:27:32,570 Don't bandy that about. The Old Man wouldn't like it. 378 00:27:34,270 --> 00:27:38,370 Martha's father expects his staff to come here and grow old... 379 00:27:38,770 --> 00:27:41,170 ...and fall in the line of service. 380 00:27:41,370 --> 00:27:43,570 One man, a professor of Latin... 381 00:27:43,870 --> 00:27:46,570 ...actually fell in the cafeteria line one lunch. 382 00:27:46,870 --> 00:27:50,470 But the Old Man isn't falling anywhere. He isn't going to die. 383 00:27:51,270 --> 00:27:52,570 There are rumors... 384 00:27:52,970 --> 00:27:56,570 ...which you can't breathe to Martha for she foams at the mouth... 385 00:27:57,070 --> 00:27:58,570 ...that the Old Man, her father... 386 00:27:58,970 --> 00:28:02,070 ...is over two hundred years old. 387 00:28:02,570 --> 00:28:05,770 There's an irony there, but I'm not drunk enough to figure it out. 388 00:28:09,470 --> 00:28:10,470 Damnit! 389 00:28:11,070 --> 00:28:14,470 I wonder what women talk about when men talk. I must find out. 390 00:28:15,070 --> 00:28:16,770 What do you want? 391 00:28:19,070 --> 00:28:20,970 Isn't that a wonderful sound? 392 00:28:21,770 --> 00:28:23,170 How many kids you having? 393 00:28:24,170 --> 00:28:25,770 I don't know. My wife is... 394 00:28:26,170 --> 00:28:28,970 Slim-hipped. Well, there's one of you at least. 395 00:28:29,270 --> 00:28:33,970 You must see this house, dear. This is such a wonderful old house. 396 00:28:35,470 --> 00:28:37,770 For Christ's sake, hang on a minute! 397 00:28:37,970 --> 00:28:39,770 She'll be right down, she's changing. 398 00:28:40,170 --> 00:28:42,170 She's changing? What, her clothes? 399 00:28:42,370 --> 00:28:43,770 - Her dress. - Why? 400 00:28:43,970 --> 00:28:46,770 I imagine that she wants to be comfortable. 401 00:28:46,970 --> 00:28:48,670 Oh, she does, does she? 402 00:28:48,970 --> 00:28:50,470 You don't know! 403 00:28:52,570 --> 00:28:55,470 - You all right, dear? - Yes, dear, perfectly fine. 404 00:28:56,170 --> 00:28:57,670 She wants to be comfortable? 405 00:28:58,370 --> 00:28:59,670 Well, we'll see about that! 406 00:29:00,170 --> 00:29:01,970 I didn't know that you had a son. 407 00:29:05,170 --> 00:29:08,170 - A son. I hadn't known. - You to know and me to find out, huh? 408 00:29:08,470 --> 00:29:11,170 Tomorrow is his birthday. He will be sixteen. 409 00:29:12,770 --> 00:29:13,670 She told you? 410 00:29:14,770 --> 00:29:16,470 - She told you about him? - Yes. 411 00:29:17,670 --> 00:29:19,270 You said she's changing? 412 00:29:20,270 --> 00:29:22,170 - And she mentioned... - Your son's birthday. 413 00:29:26,970 --> 00:29:28,570 You look pale. Would you like... 414 00:29:28,870 --> 00:29:32,370 Yes, dear a little more brandy maybe. Just a drop. 415 00:29:33,270 --> 00:29:34,370 The bar? 416 00:29:34,870 --> 00:29:38,670 Yes, by all means, drink away. You'll need it as years go on. 417 00:29:40,170 --> 00:29:42,070 Damn destructive... 418 00:29:42,370 --> 00:29:43,870 What time is it, dear? 419 00:29:45,270 --> 00:29:47,370 - 2:30. - So late! 420 00:29:47,670 --> 00:29:48,870 We should get home. 421 00:29:49,370 --> 00:29:50,870 Keeping the baby sitter up? 422 00:29:52,670 --> 00:29:54,170 I said we didn't have children. 423 00:29:55,070 --> 00:29:57,070 Sorry, I wasn't even listening. 424 00:29:57,370 --> 00:29:59,170 Or thinking. Whichever applies. 425 00:30:00,070 --> 00:30:01,170 We'll go in a while. 426 00:30:01,570 --> 00:30:03,070 No, you mustn't! 427 00:30:03,470 --> 00:30:08,570 Martha is changing, and not for me. Martha hasn't changed for me in years. 428 00:30:08,870 --> 00:30:12,870 It means we're going to be here days. You're being accorded an honor. 429 00:30:13,270 --> 00:30:17,370 Don't forget Martha is the daughter of our beloved boss... his right arm. 430 00:30:18,070 --> 00:30:20,770 I'd use another word, but leave that sort of talk to Martha. 431 00:30:21,270 --> 00:30:22,570 What sort of talk? 432 00:30:26,770 --> 00:30:27,770 Well, now! 433 00:30:30,070 --> 00:30:32,170 Why, Martha, your Sunday chapel dress! 434 00:30:32,570 --> 00:30:34,870 Oh, that's most attractive! 435 00:30:35,270 --> 00:30:36,570 You like it? Good. 436 00:30:37,970 --> 00:30:40,570 What do you mean screaming up the stairs at me? 437 00:30:40,770 --> 00:30:43,870 We got lonely for the soft purr of your little voice. 438 00:30:44,570 --> 00:30:47,370 Well, you just trot over to the bar-ie-poo... 439 00:30:47,770 --> 00:30:50,770 ...and make your little mommy a gweat big dwink. 440 00:30:51,070 --> 00:30:52,270 That's right! 441 00:30:55,670 --> 00:31:00,070 You're quite a guy, getting your masters when you were what, 12? 442 00:31:00,970 --> 00:31:03,370 - Hear that, George? - 12 and a half, actually. 443 00:31:04,270 --> 00:31:05,270 19, really. 444 00:31:05,470 --> 00:31:08,370 - You needn't have mentioned it. - I'm proud of you! 445 00:31:08,570 --> 00:31:10,870 - I'm very impressed. - You're damn right! 446 00:31:11,070 --> 00:31:14,970 I'm wracked with jealousy. What do you want me to do, throw up? 447 00:31:16,270 --> 00:31:18,970 That's very impressive. You should be proud. 448 00:31:19,270 --> 00:31:21,270 He's a pretty nice fellow. 449 00:31:21,970 --> 00:31:24,070 You might take over the History Department. 450 00:31:24,270 --> 00:31:25,570 Biology Department. 451 00:31:26,270 --> 00:31:27,970 Yes. I'm preoccupied with history. 452 00:31:29,970 --> 00:31:32,770 What a remark. "I am preoccupied with history." 453 00:31:35,270 --> 00:31:39,270 George is not. George is preoccupied with the History Department. 454 00:31:39,770 --> 00:31:41,770 He's preoccupied with it... 455 00:31:42,170 --> 00:31:46,270 ...because he is not the History Department, he is only in it. 456 00:31:46,670 --> 00:31:49,170 We went through that while you were upstairs. 457 00:31:49,470 --> 00:31:51,270 That's right, baby, keep it clean. 458 00:31:52,170 --> 00:31:54,970 George is bogged down in the History Department. 459 00:31:56,170 --> 00:31:58,670 He's an old bog in the History Department. 460 00:31:59,170 --> 00:32:00,670 That's what George is... 461 00:32:00,870 --> 00:32:04,870 ...A bog, a fen, a G.D. Swamp! 462 00:32:08,370 --> 00:32:10,770 Hey, swamp! Hey, swampy! 463 00:32:15,870 --> 00:32:16,970 Can I get you something? 464 00:32:19,170 --> 00:32:19,970 Well, sure. 465 00:32:20,470 --> 00:32:24,170 You can light my cigarette if you're of a mind to. 466 00:32:24,570 --> 00:32:26,470 No. There are limits. 467 00:32:27,370 --> 00:32:28,870 A man puts up with only so much... 468 00:32:29,170 --> 00:32:32,870 ...before he descends on the evolutionary ladder which is your line. 469 00:32:33,670 --> 00:32:37,470 I'll hold your hand when it's dark and you're afraid of the bogeyman. 470 00:32:37,870 --> 00:32:40,870 And I'll tote your gin bottles out after midnight so no one sees. 471 00:32:41,170 --> 00:32:45,470 But I will not light your cigarette. And that, as they say, is that. 472 00:32:51,670 --> 00:32:53,870 Hey, you played football, huh? 473 00:32:54,270 --> 00:32:56,070 Yes, I was a quarterback. 474 00:32:56,270 --> 00:32:58,670 But I was much more adept at boxing. 475 00:32:59,570 --> 00:33:02,170 Boxing? You hear that, George? 476 00:33:03,770 --> 00:33:06,870 Must've been good. Doesn't look like you got hit in the face. 477 00:33:07,270 --> 00:33:10,070 He was intercollegiate state middleweight champion. 478 00:33:11,870 --> 00:33:15,070 Still looks like you have a pretty good body, is that right? 479 00:33:15,270 --> 00:33:16,670 Decency forbids... 480 00:33:16,870 --> 00:33:18,070 Shut up! 481 00:33:18,570 --> 00:33:21,570 Is that right? Have you kept your body up? 482 00:33:22,070 --> 00:33:24,570 It's still pretty good. I work out. 483 00:33:26,270 --> 00:33:28,870 Yes, he has a very firm body. 484 00:33:29,470 --> 00:33:31,870 Have you? I think that's very nice. 485 00:33:32,270 --> 00:33:34,870 You know, once you have it, you never know... 486 00:33:35,270 --> 00:33:36,770 ...when it'll come in handy! 487 00:33:39,470 --> 00:33:41,870 I say, why give it up until you have to? 488 00:33:45,670 --> 00:33:47,870 I couldn't agree with you more! 489 00:33:48,270 --> 00:33:49,870 Your obscenity is beyond human... 490 00:33:50,270 --> 00:33:53,070 George here doesn't cotton too much to body talk. 491 00:33:53,370 --> 00:33:58,270 Paunchy isn't happy when the talk moves to muscles. How much you weigh? 492 00:34:00,170 --> 00:34:01,570 155,150... 493 00:34:02,770 --> 00:34:05,770 Still at the old middleweight limit? That's pretty good! 494 00:34:09,670 --> 00:34:11,970 Tell them about the boxing match we had. 495 00:34:13,770 --> 00:34:14,570 Christ! 496 00:34:16,270 --> 00:34:17,570 Tell them about it. 497 00:34:17,870 --> 00:34:19,970 You tell them, you're good at it. 498 00:34:20,370 --> 00:34:23,070 - Is he all right? - Him? Oh, sure. 499 00:34:24,170 --> 00:34:25,870 We had this boxing match... 500 00:34:26,170 --> 00:34:28,070 ...a couple years after we married. 501 00:34:28,470 --> 00:34:30,470 A boxing match? The two of you? 502 00:34:31,670 --> 00:34:33,570 Yeah, the two of us. Really. 503 00:34:34,670 --> 00:34:36,170 I can't imagine it! 504 00:34:36,470 --> 00:34:39,170 Well, it wasn't in a ring or anything like that. 505 00:34:39,870 --> 00:34:42,170 Daddy was on this physical fitness kick. 506 00:34:42,870 --> 00:34:46,470 He had a couple of us over one Sunday and we all went out back... 507 00:34:46,870 --> 00:34:50,970 ...and Daddy put the gloves on himself and asked George to box with him. 508 00:34:52,870 --> 00:34:54,770 And George didn't want to. 509 00:34:55,570 --> 00:35:00,570 So Daddy said, "Come on, young man! What sort of a son-in-law are you?" 510 00:35:02,170 --> 00:35:05,970 And while this was going on, I don't know why I did it... 511 00:35:06,370 --> 00:35:08,870 ...I got into a pair of gloves myself... 512 00:35:09,070 --> 00:35:13,470 ...and I snuck up behind George, just kidding and yelled, "Hey, George!" 513 00:35:14,170 --> 00:35:18,170 And let go with a sort of roundhouse right. Just kidding, you know. 514 00:35:19,070 --> 00:35:23,570 And George wheeled around real quick and caught it right in the jaw! 515 00:35:26,670 --> 00:35:29,270 He caught it right in the jaw! 516 00:35:30,370 --> 00:35:34,770 He was off-balance. He must have been. And then he landed... 517 00:35:34,970 --> 00:35:37,470 ...flat in a huckleberry bush! 518 00:36:00,470 --> 00:36:01,470 Pow, you're dead. 519 00:36:08,270 --> 00:36:10,170 Where'd you get that, you bastard? 520 00:36:10,570 --> 00:36:13,170 I've had it awhile. Liked that, did you? 521 00:36:13,570 --> 00:36:14,570 Bastard! 522 00:36:17,270 --> 00:36:20,270 Oh, that was pretty good. Hey, give me a kiss. 523 00:36:20,570 --> 00:36:23,070 - Later, sweetie. - Give me a kiss. 524 00:36:27,870 --> 00:36:31,270 So that's what you're after? We having blue games for the guests? 525 00:36:31,570 --> 00:36:34,870 Everything in its place. Everything in it's own good time. 526 00:36:35,770 --> 00:36:37,770 Drinks now. Drinks for all. 527 00:36:38,070 --> 00:36:40,070 You've nibbled away at your glass. 528 00:36:40,970 --> 00:36:44,270 I need something. I was never so frightened in my life. 529 00:36:44,670 --> 00:36:46,170 Weren't you frightened? 530 00:36:47,770 --> 00:36:50,370 - I don't remember. - I bet you were. 531 00:36:50,670 --> 00:36:52,470 Did you think I was going to kill you? 532 00:36:52,770 --> 00:36:55,270 You? Kill me? That's a laugh! 533 00:36:55,670 --> 00:36:56,770 I might some day. 534 00:36:58,270 --> 00:36:59,470 Fat chance! 535 00:36:59,770 --> 00:37:01,070 Where's the john? 536 00:37:02,170 --> 00:37:03,270 Down the hall and right. 537 00:37:03,670 --> 00:37:06,070 Don't come back with any guns or anything. 538 00:37:06,970 --> 00:37:09,070 You don't need any props, do you, baby? 539 00:37:09,670 --> 00:37:11,070 I'll bet not. 540 00:37:11,270 --> 00:37:14,570 - No fake gun for you! - May I leave my drink here? 541 00:37:14,970 --> 00:37:18,570 Why not? We've got half-filled glasses wherever Martha left them. 542 00:37:18,770 --> 00:37:21,770 In the closet, the bathtub. I found one in the freezer. 543 00:37:21,970 --> 00:37:24,970 - Oh, you did not! - Yes, I did. 544 00:37:27,870 --> 00:37:30,370 - Brandy gives you no hangover? - I never mix. 545 00:37:30,570 --> 00:37:33,970 - I don't drink very much either. - Oh, good. 546 00:37:34,970 --> 00:37:37,470 Your husband was telling us about chromosomes. 547 00:37:38,470 --> 00:37:41,770 - Chromosomes. He's a biologist. - He's in the Math Department. 548 00:37:41,970 --> 00:37:44,470 - Biologist. - He's in the Math Department! 549 00:37:46,470 --> 00:37:47,670 Biology. 550 00:37:49,370 --> 00:37:50,670 Are you sure? 551 00:37:51,070 --> 00:37:53,170 Well, I ought to be sure. 552 00:37:54,670 --> 00:37:57,370 So he's a biologist. Good for him! 553 00:37:58,370 --> 00:37:59,970 Biology's even better. 554 00:38:00,670 --> 00:38:03,670 It's at the meat of things. You're at the meat of things. 555 00:38:04,170 --> 00:38:07,970 - She thought you were Math Department. - Maybe I ought to be. 556 00:38:08,370 --> 00:38:11,970 You stay right where you are. Stay right at the meat of things. 557 00:38:12,670 --> 00:38:15,170 You're obsessed by that phrase. It's ugly. 558 00:38:15,570 --> 00:38:16,870 You stay right there. 559 00:38:18,070 --> 00:38:21,970 You can take over the History Department as easy from there as any place else. 560 00:38:22,770 --> 00:38:25,970 Somebody's got to take over the History Department some day. 561 00:38:26,370 --> 00:38:29,670 And it ain't gonna be Georgie-boy over there, that's for sure. 562 00:38:30,070 --> 00:38:32,570 Are you swampy, are you? 563 00:38:33,370 --> 00:38:36,370 In my mind you are bedded in cement up to the neck. 564 00:38:37,070 --> 00:38:38,670 No, up to the nose, it's quieter. 565 00:38:45,870 --> 00:38:47,070 When is your son... 566 00:38:48,270 --> 00:38:49,070 What? 567 00:38:49,170 --> 00:38:50,570 Something about your son. 568 00:38:55,770 --> 00:38:57,770 When is your son coming home? 569 00:39:05,270 --> 00:39:06,570 When's our son coming home? 570 00:39:06,970 --> 00:39:07,770 Never mind. 571 00:39:08,070 --> 00:39:11,370 I want to know. You brought it up. When's he coming home? 572 00:39:12,470 --> 00:39:15,070 I said never mind. I'm sorry I brought it up. 573 00:39:15,370 --> 00:39:18,770 Him up! Not it! You brought him up, more or less. 574 00:39:19,270 --> 00:39:22,570 When's the little bugger appearing? Isn't tomorrow his birthday? 575 00:39:22,970 --> 00:39:24,770 I don't want to talk about it. 576 00:39:25,470 --> 00:39:27,470 I don't want to talk about it! 577 00:39:27,670 --> 00:39:30,070 She doesn't want to talk about it, him. 578 00:39:30,270 --> 00:39:33,170 Martha is sorry she brought it up. Him. 579 00:39:33,470 --> 00:39:35,770 When's the little bugger coming home? 580 00:39:37,670 --> 00:39:41,770 Since you had the bad taste to bring it up, when is the bugger coming? 581 00:39:42,270 --> 00:39:45,470 George talks disparagingly about the little bugger... 582 00:39:45,770 --> 00:39:47,770 ...because he has problems. 583 00:39:47,970 --> 00:39:50,170 What problems has the little bugger got? 584 00:39:50,370 --> 00:39:53,070 Not the little bugger. Stop calling him that! 585 00:39:53,470 --> 00:39:58,270 - You! You've got problems! - Never heard anything more ridiculous. 586 00:39:58,770 --> 00:40:00,270 Neither have I! 587 00:40:01,870 --> 00:40:04,970 George's biggest problem about the... about our son... 588 00:40:05,370 --> 00:40:09,170 ...about our great big son is that deep down in the private pit of his gut... 589 00:40:09,470 --> 00:40:12,670 ...he is not completely sure that it's his own kid. 590 00:40:12,970 --> 00:40:14,970 My God, you're a wicked woman! 591 00:40:15,170 --> 00:40:19,470 And I've told you a million times, I wouldn't conceive with anyone else. 592 00:40:19,870 --> 00:40:21,670 A deeply wicked person. 593 00:40:23,070 --> 00:40:25,270 I'm not sure this is a subject for... 594 00:40:25,470 --> 00:40:29,270 Martha's lying. I want you to know that Martha is lying. 595 00:40:30,170 --> 00:40:32,970 There are few things I am certain of, but the one thing... 596 00:40:33,170 --> 00:40:35,770 ...in this sinking world that I am sure of... 597 00:40:35,970 --> 00:40:39,170 ...is my partnership, my chromosomoligical partnership... 598 00:40:39,370 --> 00:40:43,570 ...in the creation of our blond-eyed, blue-haired son. 599 00:40:44,670 --> 00:40:45,970 I'm so glad. 600 00:40:47,070 --> 00:40:50,170 - A very pretty speech, George. - Thank you, Martha. 601 00:40:50,470 --> 00:40:53,770 You rose to the occasion good. Real good. 602 00:40:54,170 --> 00:40:55,470 Well. Real well! 603 00:40:57,170 --> 00:40:58,570 Martha knows better. 604 00:40:58,870 --> 00:41:01,670 Yes, I've been to college like everybody else. 605 00:41:01,970 --> 00:41:05,470 George, our son does not have blue hair. 606 00:41:05,770 --> 00:41:09,170 Or blue eyes for that matter. He has green eyes like me. 607 00:41:09,470 --> 00:41:11,770 Beautiful, beautiful green eyes. 608 00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:13,470 He has blue eyes. 609 00:41:13,770 --> 00:41:14,570 Green. 610 00:41:14,970 --> 00:41:15,770 Blue, Martha. 611 00:41:16,170 --> 00:41:17,570 Green, you bastard! 612 00:41:18,570 --> 00:41:20,770 Tut-tut yourself, you old floozy. 613 00:41:21,070 --> 00:41:22,770 He's not a floozie. 614 00:41:23,670 --> 00:41:26,370 He can't be a floozie. You're a floozie. 615 00:41:26,670 --> 00:41:28,570 Now you just watch yourself! 616 00:41:28,970 --> 00:41:30,370 All right! 617 00:41:30,970 --> 00:41:34,170 I'd like another little nipper of brandy please. 618 00:41:34,470 --> 00:41:36,370 - I think you've had enough. - Nonsense! 619 00:41:36,670 --> 00:41:39,270 - We're all ready, I think. - Nonsense! 620 00:41:41,970 --> 00:41:45,970 George has watery blue eyes, kind of milky blue. 621 00:41:46,170 --> 00:41:47,570 Make up your mind. 622 00:41:47,770 --> 00:41:51,470 I gave you the benefit of a doubt. Daddy has green eyes too. 623 00:41:51,670 --> 00:41:56,170 No, he has tiny red eyes, like a white mouse. In fact, he is a white mouse. 624 00:41:57,370 --> 00:42:00,370 You wouldn't say that if he was here. You're a coward! 625 00:42:00,670 --> 00:42:04,070 You know that shock of white hair and these beady red eyes? 626 00:42:04,370 --> 00:42:06,070 A great big white mouse. 627 00:42:06,670 --> 00:42:11,370 George hates Daddy. Not for anything Daddy's done to him, but for his own... 628 00:42:11,670 --> 00:42:12,870 Inadequacies? 629 00:42:13,170 --> 00:42:16,170 That's right. You hit it right on the snout! 630 00:42:16,670 --> 00:42:19,370 You know why the S.O.B. Hates my father? 631 00:42:19,670 --> 00:42:23,070 When George came to the History Department, about 500 years ago... 632 00:42:23,370 --> 00:42:24,570 ...Daddy approved of him. 633 00:42:25,070 --> 00:42:29,070 And you want to know what I did, dumb cluck that I am? 634 00:42:29,370 --> 00:42:31,270 I fell for him! 635 00:42:31,670 --> 00:42:33,070 I like that! 636 00:42:33,370 --> 00:42:35,370 She did, you should have seen it. 637 00:42:35,570 --> 00:42:39,070 She'd sit outside my room at night and howl and claw at the turf. 638 00:42:39,370 --> 00:42:41,170 I couldn't work so I married her. 639 00:42:43,570 --> 00:42:45,370 I actually fell for him. 640 00:42:45,870 --> 00:42:47,770 It! That! There! 641 00:42:48,070 --> 00:42:49,570 Martha's a romantic at heart. 642 00:42:51,270 --> 00:42:52,370 That I am. 643 00:42:54,270 --> 00:42:58,570 I actually fell for him. And the match seemed practical too. 644 00:42:59,370 --> 00:43:02,270 For a while Daddy thought George had the stuff... 645 00:43:02,570 --> 00:43:04,770 ...to take over when he was ready to retire. 646 00:43:06,270 --> 00:43:07,970 - Stop it! - What do you want?! 647 00:43:08,470 --> 00:43:11,170 - I wouldn't go on if I were you. - You wouldn't? Well, you're not! 648 00:43:11,470 --> 00:43:14,170 You've already sprung a leak about you-know-what. 649 00:43:14,670 --> 00:43:15,470 What? 650 00:43:15,570 --> 00:43:17,770 About the little bugger. Our son. 651 00:43:18,070 --> 00:43:20,070 If you start in on this, I warn you... 652 00:43:20,470 --> 00:43:23,270 - I stand warned. - Do we have to go through this? 653 00:43:23,770 --> 00:43:26,970 Anyway, I married the S.O.B. I had it all planned out. 654 00:43:27,170 --> 00:43:31,470 First he'd take over the History Department, then the whole college. 655 00:43:31,770 --> 00:43:33,470 That's how it was supposed to be! 656 00:43:33,770 --> 00:43:34,770 Getting angry? 657 00:43:35,070 --> 00:43:38,270 That was how it was supposed to be. All very simple. 658 00:43:38,670 --> 00:43:41,470 Daddy thought it was a good idea too. For a while! 659 00:43:41,770 --> 00:43:44,470 Until he started watching for a couple of years. 660 00:43:44,770 --> 00:43:45,770 Getting angry? 661 00:43:46,170 --> 00:43:48,170 Till he watched for a couple years... 662 00:43:48,470 --> 00:43:51,170 ...and started thinking it wasn't such a good idea. 663 00:43:51,470 --> 00:43:54,470 That maybe Georgie-boy didn't have the stuff! 664 00:43:54,970 --> 00:43:56,670 That he didn't have it in him! 665 00:43:56,870 --> 00:43:59,270 - Stop it, Martha! - Like hell, I will! 666 00:44:00,370 --> 00:44:03,470 George didn't have much push. He wasn't aggressive. 667 00:44:04,270 --> 00:44:06,270 In fact, he was sort of a flop! 668 00:44:06,970 --> 00:44:09,170 A great big, fat flop! 669 00:44:10,170 --> 00:44:11,670 I said stop it! 670 00:44:11,970 --> 00:44:16,370 I hope that was an empty bottle. You can't afford to waste good liquor. 671 00:44:16,670 --> 00:44:20,470 Not on your salary! Not on an associate professor's salary! 672 00:44:21,370 --> 00:44:24,470 So here I am, stuck with this flop... 673 00:44:24,870 --> 00:44:27,170 ...this bog in the History Department. 674 00:44:27,470 --> 00:44:29,970 Who's married to the president's daughter... 675 00:44:30,370 --> 00:44:34,370 ...who's expected to be somebody. Not just a nobody! 676 00:44:34,670 --> 00:44:38,370 A bookworm who's so goddamn complacent... 677 00:44:38,670 --> 00:44:40,970 ...he can't make anything out of himself. 678 00:44:41,370 --> 00:44:44,670 That doesn't have the guts to make anybody proud of him! 679 00:44:47,570 --> 00:44:49,370 All right, George, stop it! 680 00:44:51,770 --> 00:44:53,370 I'm going to be sick! 681 00:45:26,070 --> 00:45:28,570 She'll be all right. I'll make some coffee. 682 00:45:29,370 --> 00:45:32,070 - You sure? - She'll be okay. 683 00:47:39,870 --> 00:47:41,570 I'm really very sorry. 684 00:47:45,070 --> 00:47:48,070 She really shouldn't drink. She's frail. 685 00:47:51,570 --> 00:47:53,070 Slim-hipped, as you say. 686 00:47:56,570 --> 00:47:59,870 Where's my little yum-yum? Where's Martha? 687 00:48:01,670 --> 00:48:04,570 I think she's going to make some coffee. 688 00:48:09,870 --> 00:48:11,670 She gets sick quite easily. 689 00:48:12,270 --> 00:48:15,270 Martha? No, she hasn't been sick a day in her life. 690 00:48:15,570 --> 00:48:17,870 Unless you count time she spends in the rest home. 691 00:48:18,270 --> 00:48:19,770 No, no. My wife. 692 00:48:20,070 --> 00:48:24,270 My wife gets sick quite easily. Your wife is Martha. 693 00:48:27,770 --> 00:48:28,570 I know. 694 00:48:30,270 --> 00:48:32,770 She doesn't really spend any time in a rest home? 695 00:48:34,270 --> 00:48:35,270 Your wife? 696 00:48:35,870 --> 00:48:36,870 No, yours. 697 00:48:38,270 --> 00:48:39,070 Mine? 698 00:48:44,970 --> 00:48:47,070 She doesn't. I would. 699 00:48:50,770 --> 00:48:53,470 If I were her... she... I would. 700 00:48:53,770 --> 00:48:56,070 But then I'm not and so I don't. 701 00:48:58,570 --> 00:49:00,270 I'd like to, though. 702 00:49:01,970 --> 00:49:04,770 It gets pretty bouncy around here sometimes. 703 00:49:06,270 --> 00:49:07,470 Yes, I'm sure. 704 00:49:11,670 --> 00:49:14,370 - Your wife throws up a lot? - I didn't say that. 705 00:49:14,670 --> 00:49:16,970 I said she gets sick quite easily. 706 00:49:18,170 --> 00:49:19,770 By sick I thought that you meant she... 707 00:49:20,270 --> 00:49:23,270 It's true, actually. She does throw up a lot. 708 00:49:23,570 --> 00:49:24,670 The word is often. 709 00:49:26,170 --> 00:49:28,770 Once she starts there's practically no stopping. 710 00:49:30,770 --> 00:49:32,870 She'll go right on for hours. 711 00:49:35,870 --> 00:49:37,570 Not all the time. 712 00:49:39,770 --> 00:49:40,770 Regularly. 713 00:49:41,670 --> 00:49:43,870 - You can tell time by her? - Just about. 714 00:49:56,870 --> 00:49:58,670 I married her because she was pregnant. 715 00:50:03,670 --> 00:50:05,970 But you said you didn't have any children. 716 00:50:06,170 --> 00:50:07,670 She wasn't really. It was a... 717 00:50:09,770 --> 00:50:11,170 ...hysterical pregnancy. 718 00:50:13,270 --> 00:50:16,470 She blew up and then she went down. 719 00:50:18,070 --> 00:50:20,270 And when she was up you married her? 720 00:50:21,970 --> 00:50:23,770 Then she went down. 721 00:50:46,570 --> 00:50:48,470 When I was 16... 722 00:50:49,770 --> 00:50:52,370 ...and going to prep school, during the Punic Wars... 723 00:50:54,970 --> 00:50:57,870 ...a bunch of us would go to town the first day of vacation... 724 00:50:58,170 --> 00:51:00,170 ...before we fanned out to our homes. 725 00:51:02,670 --> 00:51:05,770 And in the evening we would go to a gin mill... 726 00:51:06,070 --> 00:51:08,670 ...owned by the gangster-father of one of us... 727 00:51:09,070 --> 00:51:13,070 ...and we would drink with the grown-ups and listen to the jazz. 728 00:51:14,870 --> 00:51:16,670 And one time, in the bunch of us... 729 00:51:17,070 --> 00:51:18,570 ...there was this... 730 00:51:19,170 --> 00:51:21,770 ...boy who was 15... 731 00:51:22,570 --> 00:51:26,670 ...and he had killed his mother with a shotgun some years before. 732 00:51:28,070 --> 00:51:30,070 Completely accidentally... 733 00:51:30,370 --> 00:51:34,070 ...without even an unconscious motivation, I have no doubt at all. 734 00:51:36,170 --> 00:51:38,770 And this one time this boy went with us and... 735 00:51:39,570 --> 00:51:41,770 ...we ordered our drinks... 736 00:51:42,670 --> 00:51:44,970 ...and when it came his turn he said... 737 00:51:45,570 --> 00:51:47,570 "I'll have bergin. 738 00:51:48,270 --> 00:51:52,770 "Give me some bergin please. Bergin and water." 739 00:51:55,870 --> 00:51:57,370 We all laughed. 740 00:51:58,370 --> 00:52:03,370 He was blond and he had the face of a cherub, and we all laughed. 741 00:52:04,570 --> 00:52:08,070 And his cheeks went red and the color rose in his neck. 742 00:52:08,570 --> 00:52:13,470 The waiter told people at the next table what the boy said and they laughed... 743 00:52:13,970 --> 00:52:18,470 ...and then more people were told and the laughter grew and grew. 744 00:52:23,670 --> 00:52:26,370 No one was laughing more than us... 745 00:52:26,670 --> 00:52:30,570 ...and none of us more than the boy who had shot his mother. 746 00:52:33,070 --> 00:52:37,170 And soon everyone in the gin mill knew what the laughter was about... 747 00:52:37,570 --> 00:52:42,170 ...and everyone started ordering bergin and laughing when they ordered it. 748 00:52:43,370 --> 00:52:46,370 And soon, of course, the laughter became less general... 749 00:52:46,670 --> 00:52:51,070 ...but it did not subside entirely for a very long time. 750 00:52:51,370 --> 00:52:54,370 For always at this table or that... 751 00:52:54,870 --> 00:52:56,870 ...someone would order bergin... 752 00:52:57,970 --> 00:53:01,770 ...and a whole new area of laughter would rise. 753 00:53:03,570 --> 00:53:05,070 We drank free that night. 754 00:53:06,270 --> 00:53:08,570 We were bought champagne by the management... 755 00:53:08,870 --> 00:53:12,070 ...by the gangster-father of one of us. 756 00:53:14,270 --> 00:53:17,870 And, of course, we suffered the next day... 757 00:53:18,270 --> 00:53:22,570 ...each of us alone, on his train away from the city... 758 00:53:24,270 --> 00:53:28,070 ...and each of us with a grown-up's hangover. 759 00:53:30,570 --> 00:53:32,670 But it was the grandest day... 760 00:53:34,070 --> 00:53:35,470 ...of my... 761 00:53:36,970 --> 00:53:38,270 ...youth. 762 00:53:50,370 --> 00:53:51,770 What happened to the boy? 763 00:53:54,870 --> 00:53:56,270 The boy who had shot his mother. 764 00:53:59,170 --> 00:54:00,070 I won't tell you. 765 00:54:03,370 --> 00:54:06,970 The next summer on a country road, with his learner's permit... 766 00:54:07,170 --> 00:54:11,870 ...and his father sitting to his right, he swerved to avoid a porcupine... 767 00:54:12,970 --> 00:54:15,770 ...and drove straight into a large tree. 768 00:54:18,070 --> 00:54:19,670 He was not killed, of course. 769 00:54:20,870 --> 00:54:24,270 In the hospital when he was conscious and out of danger... 770 00:54:24,670 --> 00:54:27,170 ...when they told him his father was dead... 771 00:54:28,870 --> 00:54:31,770 ...he began to laugh, I have been told. 772 00:54:33,170 --> 00:54:36,870 And his laughter grew and would not stop. 773 00:54:38,870 --> 00:54:42,470 And it was not until after they'd jammed a needle in his arm... 774 00:54:42,870 --> 00:54:47,170 ...not until his consciousness had slipped away from him... 775 00:54:47,470 --> 00:54:51,170 ...that his laughter subsided. Stopped. 776 00:54:53,370 --> 00:54:55,670 When he recovered from his injuries enough... 777 00:54:56,070 --> 00:55:00,670 ...so he could be moved without damage should he struggle... 778 00:55:03,070 --> 00:55:05,070 ...he was put in an asylum. 779 00:55:08,370 --> 00:55:10,070 That was thirty years ago. 780 00:55:11,770 --> 00:55:13,370 Is he still there? 781 00:55:15,370 --> 00:55:16,470 Oh, yes. 782 00:55:17,870 --> 00:55:20,070 I'm told that for these thirty years... 783 00:55:21,870 --> 00:55:23,670 ...he has not uttered... 784 00:55:25,370 --> 00:55:28,070 ...one sound. 785 00:55:50,270 --> 00:55:51,570 That's Big Martha. 786 00:55:52,470 --> 00:55:53,870 She's making coffee. 787 00:55:55,270 --> 00:55:58,870 For your hysterical wife, who goes up and down. 788 00:55:59,970 --> 00:56:00,770 Went. 789 00:56:01,270 --> 00:56:02,770 Up and down. 790 00:56:03,270 --> 00:56:05,270 Went? And no more? 791 00:56:06,270 --> 00:56:08,370 No more. Nothing. 792 00:56:10,970 --> 00:56:13,670 Martha doesn't have hysterical pregnancies. 793 00:56:14,470 --> 00:56:16,370 My wife had one. 794 00:56:16,570 --> 00:56:19,070 Martha doesn't have pregnancies at all. 795 00:56:22,770 --> 00:56:26,270 Do you have any other kids, any daughters or anything? 796 00:56:27,770 --> 00:56:29,570 Do we have any what? 797 00:56:32,970 --> 00:56:35,070 I mean, do you only have the one... 798 00:56:35,870 --> 00:56:37,470 ...kid, your son? 799 00:56:39,570 --> 00:56:41,070 No, just one. 800 00:56:42,770 --> 00:56:44,070 One boy. 801 00:56:45,470 --> 00:56:46,870 Our son. 802 00:56:52,070 --> 00:56:53,370 That's nice. 803 00:56:55,970 --> 00:56:57,970 He's a comfort. 804 00:56:59,770 --> 00:57:01,170 He's a beanbag. 805 00:57:04,270 --> 00:57:05,270 A what? 806 00:57:05,470 --> 00:57:07,270 A beanbag. You wouldn't understand. 807 00:57:09,670 --> 00:57:11,370 A beanbag! 808 00:57:11,570 --> 00:57:15,070 I heard! I didn't say I was deaf, I said I didn't understand! 809 00:57:15,370 --> 00:57:20,170 - You didn't say that at all. - I was implying I didn't understand. 810 00:57:22,170 --> 00:57:23,670 - You're getting testy. - I'm sorry! 811 00:57:23,870 --> 00:57:28,170 I just said our son, the apple of our 3 eyes, Martha being a Cyclops... 812 00:57:28,670 --> 00:57:30,870 ...our son is a beanbag, and you get testy. 813 00:57:31,170 --> 00:57:34,470 It's late, I'm tired. I've been drinking since 9 o'clock. 814 00:57:34,670 --> 00:57:38,070 My wife is vomiting. There's been a lot of screaming here. 815 00:57:38,270 --> 00:57:40,570 You get testy, naturally. Don't worry about it. 816 00:57:40,770 --> 00:57:43,970 Anybody coming here gets testy. Don't be upset. 817 00:57:44,170 --> 00:57:46,370 - I'm not upset. - You're testy. 818 00:57:50,870 --> 00:57:54,870 I'd like to set you straight about something while we're out here. 819 00:57:55,670 --> 00:57:57,870 About something Martha said. 820 00:57:59,270 --> 00:58:01,170 Hark! Forest sounds. 821 00:58:02,270 --> 00:58:03,570 Animal noises. 822 00:58:06,070 --> 00:58:08,070 Oh, well, here's nursie! 823 00:58:09,070 --> 00:58:11,370 We're sitting up, we're having coffee. 824 00:58:13,070 --> 00:58:15,070 Is there anything I should do? 825 00:58:15,370 --> 00:58:19,670 No, you just stay there and listen to Georgie's side of things. 826 00:58:20,270 --> 00:58:21,870 Bore yourself to death! 827 00:58:22,170 --> 00:58:24,670 You clean up the mess you made in here? 828 00:58:25,070 --> 00:58:28,070 No, Martha, I did not clean up the mess I made. 829 00:58:29,470 --> 00:58:33,270 I've been trying for years to clean up the mess I made. 830 00:58:33,570 --> 00:58:35,270 Have you been trying for years? 831 00:58:35,470 --> 00:58:37,570 Accommodation, adjustment... 832 00:58:38,070 --> 00:58:40,570 ...those do seem to be in the order of things. 833 00:58:40,770 --> 00:58:42,570 Don't put me in the same class with you. 834 00:58:42,870 --> 00:58:46,370 No, of course not. I mean things are simpler for you. 835 00:58:47,570 --> 00:58:50,070 You marry a woman because she's all blown up. 836 00:58:50,270 --> 00:58:55,070 - Where I, in my old-fashioned way... - There was more to it than that. 837 00:58:55,270 --> 00:58:57,170 Sure. I bet she has money too. 838 00:59:00,470 --> 00:59:01,270 Yes. 839 00:59:07,470 --> 00:59:09,070 You mean I was right? I hit it? 840 00:59:09,770 --> 00:59:13,670 My God, what archery! First try, too. How about that? 841 00:59:14,270 --> 00:59:16,270 - There were other things. - Yes. 842 00:59:16,470 --> 00:59:18,070 To compensate. 843 00:59:18,970 --> 00:59:20,770 There always are. 844 00:59:22,370 --> 00:59:23,170 Allow me. 845 00:59:25,970 --> 00:59:28,970 Tell me about your wife's money. 846 00:59:32,170 --> 00:59:33,070 No. 847 00:59:33,670 --> 00:59:35,070 Okay, don't. 848 00:59:39,170 --> 00:59:41,870 My father-in-law was a man of the Lord. 849 00:59:43,170 --> 00:59:44,570 And he was very rich. 850 00:59:45,170 --> 00:59:46,070 What faith? 851 00:59:48,770 --> 00:59:49,970 My father-in-law... 852 00:59:51,170 --> 00:59:54,270 ...was called by God when he was six or something. 853 00:59:56,270 --> 01:00:00,770 He started preaching, baptized people, and he saved them and then... 854 01:00:02,770 --> 01:00:06,670 ...he traveled around a lot and became pretty famous. Not like... 855 01:00:08,270 --> 01:00:09,770 ...some of them but... 856 01:00:11,470 --> 01:00:13,270 ...pretty famous. 857 01:00:16,170 --> 01:00:18,670 When he died he had a lot of money. 858 01:00:19,770 --> 01:00:22,270 - God's money? - No, his own. 859 01:00:23,370 --> 01:00:26,970 - What about God's money? - He spent it and he saved his own. 860 01:00:28,670 --> 01:00:30,170 I think that's very nice. 861 01:00:33,370 --> 01:00:35,370 Martha has money because... 862 01:00:35,570 --> 01:00:38,370 ...Martha's father's second wife... 863 01:00:38,570 --> 01:00:41,470 ...not Martha's mother, but after her mother died... 864 01:00:41,970 --> 01:00:44,070 ...was a very old lady... 865 01:00:44,270 --> 01:00:47,270 ...who had warts, who was very rich. 866 01:00:47,870 --> 01:00:49,270 She was a witch! 867 01:00:50,970 --> 01:00:53,970 She was a good witch, and she married the white mouse... 868 01:00:54,170 --> 01:00:56,470 ...with the red eyes, and he must have... 869 01:00:56,670 --> 01:00:59,470 ...nibbled her warts or something... 870 01:01:01,070 --> 01:01:05,070 ...because she went up in a puff of smoke almost immediately. 871 01:01:07,770 --> 01:01:11,570 And all that was left, apart from some wart medicine... 872 01:01:11,770 --> 01:01:14,170 ...was a big, fat will. 873 01:01:19,370 --> 01:01:22,270 Maybe my father-in-law... 874 01:01:22,570 --> 01:01:25,770 ...and the witch with the warts should have gotten together. 875 01:01:27,070 --> 01:01:29,070 Because he was a mouse too. 876 01:01:30,770 --> 01:01:32,670 - He was? - Sure! 877 01:01:35,370 --> 01:01:37,270 He was a church mouse! 878 01:01:54,270 --> 01:01:56,170 Your wife never mentioned a stepmother. 879 01:01:57,470 --> 01:01:58,670 Maybe it isn't true. 880 01:02:00,970 --> 01:02:04,070 You realize I've been drawing you out on this stuff... 881 01:02:04,770 --> 01:02:08,470 ...because you're a threat to me and I want to get the goods on you. 882 01:02:08,670 --> 01:02:09,670 Sure. 883 01:02:09,970 --> 01:02:11,970 I've warned you. You stand warned. 884 01:02:12,170 --> 01:02:13,770 I stand warned. 885 01:02:16,170 --> 01:02:19,270 You sneaky types worry me the most, you know. 886 01:02:19,470 --> 01:02:22,370 You ineffectual sons of bitches, you're the worst. 887 01:02:22,770 --> 01:02:26,570 I'm glad you don't believe me. You've got history on your side. 888 01:02:27,970 --> 01:02:31,470 You've got history on your side. I've got biology on mine. 889 01:02:31,970 --> 01:02:33,970 History, biology. 890 01:02:34,270 --> 01:02:36,270 - I know the difference. - You don't act it. 891 01:02:36,670 --> 01:02:40,770 We decided you'd take over the History Department first, then the whole works. 892 01:02:40,970 --> 01:02:41,770 A step at a time. 893 01:02:45,270 --> 01:02:50,170 What I thought I'd do is sort of insinuate myself generally. You know! 894 01:02:50,470 --> 01:02:52,170 Find all the weak spots. 895 01:02:53,470 --> 01:02:54,570 Like me. 896 01:02:55,270 --> 01:02:59,270 Become sort of a fact and then turn into a... 897 01:03:01,670 --> 01:03:03,070 A what? 898 01:03:03,070 --> 01:03:06,170 - An inevitability? - Exactly! 899 01:03:06,370 --> 01:03:08,270 An inevitability. 900 01:03:08,970 --> 01:03:11,570 Take over a few courses from the older men. 901 01:03:14,270 --> 01:03:16,270 Plow a few pertinent wives. 902 01:03:16,670 --> 01:03:17,570 Now that's it! 903 01:03:18,770 --> 01:03:20,970 You can shove aside all the older men... 904 01:03:21,270 --> 01:03:24,470 ...but until you're plowing pertinent wives you're not working. 905 01:03:24,770 --> 01:03:26,770 That's the way to power. Plow 'em all! 906 01:03:29,970 --> 01:03:31,270 The way to a man's heart... 907 01:03:31,670 --> 01:03:35,570 ...the wide, inviting avenue to his job is through his wife... 908 01:03:35,770 --> 01:03:36,970 ...and don't you forget it. 909 01:03:36,970 --> 01:03:37,170 I bet your wife's got the most inviting avenue on the whole campus! ...and don't you forget it. 910 01:03:37,170 --> 01:03:41,670 I bet your wife's got the most inviting avenue on the whole campus! 911 01:03:45,670 --> 01:03:48,070 I mean, her father being president and all. 912 01:03:49,170 --> 01:03:51,670 You bet your historical inevitability. 913 01:03:52,470 --> 01:03:55,470 I just better get her off into the bushes right away. 914 01:03:55,670 --> 01:03:57,170 You'd certainly better. 915 01:04:00,170 --> 01:04:01,770 I almost think you're serious. 916 01:04:02,570 --> 01:04:05,770 No, you almost think you're serious. And it scares you. 917 01:04:06,170 --> 01:04:06,970 Me? 918 01:04:07,570 --> 01:04:08,370 Yes, you. 919 01:04:08,570 --> 01:04:09,670 You're kidding! 920 01:04:10,070 --> 01:04:13,670 I wish I were. I'll give you some good advice if you want me to. 921 01:04:14,070 --> 01:04:15,470 Good advice? From you? 922 01:04:16,570 --> 01:04:20,470 You haven't learned yet. Take it wherever you can get it. Listen. 923 01:04:21,870 --> 01:04:23,870 I'm giving you good advice now. 924 01:04:25,570 --> 01:04:28,970 There's quicksand here and you'll be dragged down before you know it. 925 01:04:29,270 --> 01:04:30,470 Sucked down! 926 01:04:31,770 --> 01:04:35,070 You disgust me on principle and you're a smug son of a bitch... 927 01:04:35,570 --> 01:04:39,170 ...but I'm trying to give you a survival kit. Do you hear me? 928 01:04:39,370 --> 01:04:41,170 I hear you. You come in loud. 929 01:04:41,570 --> 01:04:43,370 You want to play it by ear, right? 930 01:04:43,770 --> 01:04:47,370 Everything will work out anyway, because the timetable's history, right? 931 01:04:47,770 --> 01:04:50,670 Right. Just tend to your knitting, grandma. I'll be okay. 932 01:04:51,070 --> 01:04:52,370 I've tried to... 933 01:04:53,370 --> 01:04:54,870 ...tried to reach you, to... 934 01:04:55,270 --> 01:04:56,170 Make contact? 935 01:04:57,370 --> 01:04:58,370 Communicate? 936 01:04:58,770 --> 01:04:59,670 Yes, exactly. 937 01:05:00,070 --> 01:05:04,570 Aw, that's touching. That's downright moving, that's what that is. 938 01:05:04,970 --> 01:05:06,070 Up yours! 939 01:05:06,270 --> 01:05:09,070 - What? - You heard me. 940 01:05:16,770 --> 01:05:19,070 You take the trouble to construct a civilization... 941 01:05:19,370 --> 01:05:24,070 ...to build a society based on the principles of... principle. 942 01:05:25,070 --> 01:05:28,870 You make government and art and realize they are, must be, the same. 943 01:05:29,270 --> 01:05:33,770 You bring things to the saddest point, where there is something to lose. 944 01:05:34,370 --> 01:05:36,770 Then, all at once, through all the music... 945 01:05:37,170 --> 01:05:39,370 ...through the sensible sounds of building... 946 01:05:39,770 --> 01:05:41,970 ...attempting, comes the Dies Irae. 947 01:05:42,270 --> 01:05:44,970 And what is it? What does the trumpet sound? 948 01:05:45,570 --> 01:05:46,970 Up yours! 949 01:05:53,170 --> 01:05:56,770 Here we are. A little shaky, but on our feet. 950 01:05:56,970 --> 01:05:58,970 It wasn't too bad, dear, really. 951 01:05:59,270 --> 01:06:01,970 - I'm not cold. - Just put it on, we're leaving. 952 01:06:02,170 --> 01:06:04,070 - You're what? - We're going home. 953 01:06:04,470 --> 01:06:06,970 What's been going on here? 954 01:06:07,170 --> 01:06:09,170 - What have you been up to? - I'll get the car. 955 01:06:09,370 --> 01:06:10,570 I'll call a cab. 956 01:06:12,270 --> 01:06:14,470 What the hell do you think you're doing? 957 01:06:14,670 --> 01:06:17,170 Now let me see. I think what I'm doing is... 958 01:06:17,470 --> 01:06:21,670 ...I'm getting the car to take our little guests home. 959 01:06:32,370 --> 01:06:33,970 Aren't you going to apologize? 960 01:06:34,370 --> 01:06:35,770 The road should've been straight. 961 01:06:36,170 --> 01:06:38,170 Not that. For making her throw up. 962 01:06:38,470 --> 01:06:40,970 - I did not make her throw up. - You certainly did. 963 01:06:41,870 --> 01:06:45,170 Who do you think did, sexy there? He made his own wife sick? 964 01:06:45,470 --> 01:06:47,770 - You make me sick. - That's different. 965 01:06:48,070 --> 01:06:49,970 Please! I throw up. 966 01:06:50,370 --> 01:06:53,170 I get sick occasionally all by myself, without reason. 967 01:06:53,370 --> 01:06:54,970 - Is that a fact? - You're delicate, honey. 968 01:06:56,070 --> 01:06:57,470 I've always done it. 969 01:06:57,670 --> 01:06:58,970 Like Big Ben? 970 01:06:59,170 --> 01:07:00,370 Watch it. 971 01:07:00,670 --> 01:07:03,770 George makes everybody sick. When our son was a little boy... 972 01:07:04,370 --> 01:07:06,870 ...he threw up all the time because of George. 973 01:07:07,170 --> 01:07:11,870 It got so whenever George came into a room, he'd start right in retching. 974 01:07:12,070 --> 01:07:14,870 Our son used to throw up all the time... 975 01:07:15,270 --> 01:07:16,970 ...because you were always fiddling at him. 976 01:07:17,370 --> 01:07:19,970 Into his bedroom, kimono flying, fiddling... 977 01:07:20,370 --> 01:07:23,370 I suppose that's why he ran away twice in one month. 978 01:07:23,670 --> 01:07:26,570 Twice in one month! Six times in one year... 979 01:07:26,870 --> 01:07:30,370 Our son ran away from home because Martha used to corner him. 980 01:07:30,670 --> 01:07:33,870 I never cornered the son of a bitch in my life! 981 01:07:34,270 --> 01:07:38,170 He'd run to me when I got home and say, "Mama's always coming at me." 982 01:07:38,570 --> 01:07:39,670 Liar! 983 01:07:40,670 --> 01:07:42,770 Always coming at him. Very embarrassing! 984 01:07:43,270 --> 01:07:45,870 If it was so embarrassing, why are you talking about it? 985 01:07:46,670 --> 01:07:48,370 I didn't want to talk about it at all. 986 01:07:49,070 --> 01:07:52,570 I wish I had some brandy. I love brandy, I really do. 987 01:07:53,370 --> 01:07:55,470 - Good for you. - It steadies me. 988 01:07:55,670 --> 01:07:57,370 I used to drink brandy. 989 01:07:58,070 --> 01:07:59,770 You used to drink bergin, too. 990 01:08:00,070 --> 01:08:01,070 Shut up, Martha! 991 01:08:03,970 --> 01:08:05,770 - What? - Nothing. 992 01:08:07,470 --> 01:08:11,370 Did he tell you about that? Come on, he must have said something. 993 01:08:11,770 --> 01:08:15,270 Actually what we did is we sort of danced around a little. 994 01:08:15,870 --> 01:08:17,870 I love dancing. I really do. 995 01:08:18,070 --> 01:08:18,870 He didn't mean that. 996 01:08:19,270 --> 01:08:23,070 Well, I didn't think that he did! Two grown men dancing! 997 01:08:24,770 --> 01:08:28,470 He didn't tell how he tried to publish a book and Daddy wouldn't let him? 998 01:08:29,370 --> 01:08:31,470 - A book? What book? - Just a book. 999 01:08:31,670 --> 01:08:33,070 Just a book! 1000 01:08:33,470 --> 01:08:34,870 Oh, look, dancing! 1001 01:08:35,370 --> 01:08:38,270 Why don't we dance? I'd love some dancing. 1002 01:08:38,570 --> 01:08:40,570 - We're almost home. - I want some dancing! 1003 01:08:40,770 --> 01:08:43,570 - That's not such a bad idea. - Don't you love dancing? 1004 01:08:43,970 --> 01:08:47,070 - With the right man, yeah. - I dance like the wind. 1005 01:08:48,470 --> 01:08:51,070 Stop the car. We're going dancing! 1006 01:08:51,270 --> 01:08:53,070 - For heaven's sake! - Did you hear me? 1007 01:08:54,470 --> 01:08:56,070 Whatever love wants. 1008 01:09:02,770 --> 01:09:04,670 I dance like the wind! 1009 01:09:06,170 --> 01:09:07,770 Put one on, will you? 1010 01:09:08,670 --> 01:09:11,270 How are we going to work this, mixed doubles? 1011 01:09:11,770 --> 01:09:13,770 You don't think I'm going to dance with you? 1012 01:09:14,170 --> 01:09:16,770 Not with him around. And not with twinkle-toes either. 1013 01:09:17,170 --> 01:09:20,870 I'll dance with anyone! I'll dance with myself! 1014 01:09:21,670 --> 01:09:25,470 - Honey, you'll get sick again. - I dance like the wind! 1015 01:09:30,370 --> 01:09:32,670 All right, kiddies, choose up and hit the sack. 1016 01:09:33,770 --> 01:09:36,470 All right, George, cut that out! 1017 01:09:41,870 --> 01:09:43,170 Cut it out, George! 1018 01:09:43,870 --> 01:09:44,670 What, Martha? 1019 01:09:45,970 --> 01:09:48,170 All right, you son of a bitch! 1020 01:09:48,370 --> 01:09:50,170 - What'd you say, love? - It stopped! 1021 01:09:50,370 --> 01:09:51,770 Why did it stop? 1022 01:09:53,870 --> 01:09:56,370 I said give me some change. 1023 01:09:58,670 --> 01:09:59,570 Stop that! 1024 01:10:00,270 --> 01:10:03,170 You are always at me when I'm having a good time! 1025 01:10:03,370 --> 01:10:07,670 Just leave me alone. I like to dance and you don't want me to. 1026 01:10:07,870 --> 01:10:10,070 Just leave me alone! 1027 01:10:14,870 --> 01:10:16,570 Choose it. Do your stuff. 1028 01:10:17,270 --> 01:10:18,570 You're damned right. 1029 01:10:18,870 --> 01:10:20,370 Hi, sexy! 1030 01:10:20,570 --> 01:10:22,470 You want to dance, angel boobs? 1031 01:10:23,670 --> 01:10:25,170 What'd you call my wife? 1032 01:10:26,570 --> 01:10:30,470 No, if I can't do my interpretive dance, I don't want to dance at all. 1033 01:10:30,870 --> 01:10:32,370 I'll just sit here. 1034 01:10:32,870 --> 01:10:34,570 Okay, stuff, let's go. 1035 01:10:39,070 --> 01:10:41,570 - We'll just sit here and watch. - That's right. 1036 01:10:54,370 --> 01:10:56,570 You are strong, aren't you? 1037 01:10:57,070 --> 01:10:58,370 I like that. 1038 01:10:59,570 --> 01:11:01,470 They dance like they've danced before. 1039 01:11:01,670 --> 01:11:04,670 A familiar dance, monkey nipples, they know it. 1040 01:11:05,070 --> 01:11:06,570 I don't know what you mean. 1041 01:11:09,570 --> 01:11:12,270 - I like the way you move. - I like the way you move too. 1042 01:11:12,470 --> 01:11:14,670 - They like the way they move. - That's nice. 1043 01:11:16,770 --> 01:11:20,670 I'm surprised George didn't tell you his side of things. 1044 01:11:21,070 --> 01:11:23,270 - Well, he didn't. - That surprises me. 1045 01:11:23,470 --> 01:11:25,270 - Does it? - Aren't they cute? 1046 01:11:25,470 --> 01:11:27,070 He usually does when he can. 1047 01:11:27,270 --> 01:11:28,870 I don't think he trusts me. 1048 01:11:29,070 --> 01:11:33,470 It's really a very sad story. 1049 01:11:34,470 --> 01:11:37,270 It would make you weep. 1050 01:11:37,570 --> 01:11:39,670 You have ugly talents, Martha. 1051 01:11:39,870 --> 01:11:41,370 Is that so? 1052 01:11:42,570 --> 01:11:43,570 Don't encourage her. 1053 01:11:44,070 --> 01:11:45,270 Encourage me. 1054 01:11:45,770 --> 01:11:47,170 I warned you, don't encourage her! 1055 01:11:47,370 --> 01:11:48,670 He warned you. 1056 01:11:49,670 --> 01:11:52,970 - Don't encourage me. - I heard him. Tell me more. 1057 01:11:57,870 --> 01:12:00,670 Georgie-boy had lots of big ambitions... 1058 01:12:00,970 --> 01:12:03,570 ...in spite of something funny in his past... 1059 01:12:03,770 --> 01:12:06,770 ...which Georgie-boy here turned into a novel. 1060 01:12:06,970 --> 01:12:10,570 His first attempt and also his last! 1061 01:12:11,970 --> 01:12:13,570 I rhymed! 1062 01:12:15,570 --> 01:12:16,770 I warn you! 1063 01:12:17,470 --> 01:12:21,470 But Daddy took a look at Georgie's novel. 1064 01:12:21,670 --> 01:12:23,670 You're looking for a punch in the mouth. 1065 01:12:23,870 --> 01:12:24,970 Do tell! 1066 01:12:25,470 --> 01:12:27,870 And he was very shocked by what he read. 1067 01:12:28,070 --> 01:12:29,970 - He was? - Yes, he was. 1068 01:12:30,370 --> 01:12:33,270 A novel all about a naughty boy-child. 1069 01:12:33,570 --> 01:12:34,770 I will not tolerate this! 1070 01:12:34,970 --> 01:12:36,170 Oh, can it! 1071 01:12:36,670 --> 01:12:39,170 A naughty boy-child... 1072 01:12:39,570 --> 01:12:42,970 ...who killed his mother... 1073 01:12:43,370 --> 01:12:45,470 ...and his father dead! 1074 01:12:46,670 --> 01:12:47,670 Stop it! 1075 01:12:50,170 --> 01:12:51,970 And Daddy said, "Look here... 1076 01:12:52,170 --> 01:12:55,770 "...I will not let you publish such a thing!" 1077 01:12:56,070 --> 01:12:57,370 The dancing's over! 1078 01:12:57,670 --> 01:12:59,070 Violence! 1079 01:12:59,570 --> 01:13:00,470 And Daddy said... 1080 01:13:00,870 --> 01:13:05,370 ..."You don't think I'm going to let you publish this kind of crap?" 1081 01:13:05,670 --> 01:13:08,370 "Not on your life, not while you're teaching here." 1082 01:13:08,670 --> 01:13:12,170 "You publish that and you're out on your ass!" 1083 01:13:12,570 --> 01:13:14,170 Desist! Desist! 1084 01:13:15,370 --> 01:13:16,870 I will not be made mock of. 1085 01:13:17,170 --> 01:13:20,170 He will not be made mock of, for cripes sake! 1086 01:13:20,570 --> 01:13:21,670 The game is over! 1087 01:13:22,070 --> 01:13:23,570 Just imagine... 1088 01:13:24,070 --> 01:13:27,970 ...a book all about a boy who murders his mother and kills his father... 1089 01:13:28,570 --> 01:13:30,970 ...and pretends it's all an accident. 1090 01:13:31,670 --> 01:13:33,270 Hey, wait a minute! 1091 01:13:33,770 --> 01:13:35,570 You want to know the clincher? 1092 01:13:35,870 --> 01:13:38,870 You want to know what big brave Georgie said to Daddy? 1093 01:13:41,970 --> 01:13:43,770 But Daddy... 1094 01:13:44,370 --> 01:13:47,770 I mean, "But, Sir, this isn't a novel at all." 1095 01:13:48,070 --> 01:13:49,070 You will not say this! 1096 01:13:49,370 --> 01:13:50,570 The hell, I won't! Keep away! 1097 01:13:50,870 --> 01:13:52,870 "No, sir, this is no novel at all." 1098 01:13:53,270 --> 01:13:56,470 "This is the truth. This really happened to me!" 1099 01:13:56,670 --> 01:13:59,070 - I'll kill you. - It happened! 1100 01:14:02,670 --> 01:14:03,670 Violence! 1101 01:14:14,470 --> 01:14:15,770 Very quiet now. 1102 01:14:16,770 --> 01:14:18,070 We'll all be... 1103 01:14:18,470 --> 01:14:19,770 ...very quiet. 1104 01:14:24,070 --> 01:14:24,970 Murderer! 1105 01:14:26,770 --> 01:14:28,270 What's the trouble in here? 1106 01:14:28,970 --> 01:14:31,770 Nothing. No trouble, just playing a game. 1107 01:14:33,770 --> 01:14:35,170 Well, we're closing. 1108 01:14:35,470 --> 01:14:36,670 One more round. 1109 01:14:36,870 --> 01:14:38,070 Same for everybody. 1110 01:14:38,270 --> 01:14:40,970 Give us one more round and we'll be on our merry way. 1111 01:14:41,170 --> 01:14:43,270 All right? Good! 1112 01:14:43,470 --> 01:14:44,470 Thanks. 1113 01:14:49,970 --> 01:14:52,170 Well, that's one game. What shall we do now? 1114 01:14:54,470 --> 01:14:58,970 Let's do something else. We played Humiliate the Host, what'll we do now? 1115 01:15:00,270 --> 01:15:01,770 Oh, look! 1116 01:15:02,670 --> 01:15:04,670 We must know other games, us college types. 1117 01:15:04,870 --> 01:15:07,770 - Can't be the limit of our vocabulary. - Haven't had enough? 1118 01:15:07,970 --> 01:15:09,370 There are other games. 1119 01:15:09,970 --> 01:15:11,170 How about... 1120 01:15:11,670 --> 01:15:14,470 How about Hump the Hostess? 1121 01:15:14,970 --> 01:15:18,370 Want to play that one? Do you want to play Hump the Hostess? 1122 01:15:19,670 --> 01:15:21,470 Or do you want to wait till later, off in the bushes? 1123 01:15:21,770 --> 01:15:22,770 Hump the Hostess! 1124 01:15:22,970 --> 01:15:23,970 Will you shut up? 1125 01:15:40,670 --> 01:15:44,070 You want to save that for later. What shall we play now? 1126 01:15:44,370 --> 01:15:47,570 - Portrait of a Man Drowning. - I'm not drowning. 1127 01:15:48,070 --> 01:15:50,470 - You told me to shut up. - I'm sorry. 1128 01:15:50,670 --> 01:15:51,470 I'm sorry! 1129 01:15:53,270 --> 01:15:54,570 I know what we do. 1130 01:15:54,670 --> 01:15:57,870 Now that we've done this round of Humiliate the Host... 1131 01:15:58,170 --> 01:16:00,370 ...and don't want to play Hump the Hostess yet. 1132 01:16:00,670 --> 01:16:03,870 I know what! How about a little round of Get the Guests? 1133 01:16:04,170 --> 01:16:06,370 How about that? Get the Guests? 1134 01:16:07,370 --> 01:16:09,070 Book dropper, child mentioner! 1135 01:16:09,370 --> 01:16:10,170 I don't like these games. 1136 01:16:10,570 --> 01:16:14,770 We've only had one game, we've got to have another. You can't fly on one. 1137 01:16:15,070 --> 01:16:15,970 Silence! 1138 01:16:16,770 --> 01:16:18,470 How will we play Get the Guests? 1139 01:16:18,770 --> 01:16:19,770 You be quiet! 1140 01:16:19,970 --> 01:16:21,770 I wonder. 1141 01:16:27,270 --> 01:16:31,070 Martha, in her indiscreet way, told you all about my first novel. 1142 01:16:31,270 --> 01:16:33,370 True or false that there was such a thing. 1143 01:16:33,770 --> 01:16:36,770 She told you about my first novel, my memory book. 1144 01:16:36,870 --> 01:16:39,370 I preferred she hadn't, but that's blood under the bridge. 1145 01:16:39,770 --> 01:16:42,270 But what Martha didn't tell you... 1146 01:16:42,570 --> 01:16:45,570 ...what Martha didn't tell at all about was my second novel. 1147 01:16:45,870 --> 01:16:49,070 You didn't know about that, did you? True or false? 1148 01:16:50,570 --> 01:16:53,470 Well, it's an allegory really, probably. 1149 01:16:53,770 --> 01:16:57,070 It's about a nice young couple who comes out of the Middle West. 1150 01:16:57,570 --> 01:16:58,970 It's a bucolic, you see. 1151 01:16:59,270 --> 01:17:01,970 This nice young couple comes out of the Middle West. 1152 01:17:02,170 --> 01:17:04,070 He's blond and he's about thirty. 1153 01:17:04,470 --> 01:17:07,970 And he's a scientist, a teacher, a scientist. 1154 01:17:08,270 --> 01:17:12,370 - His mouse, wifey, gargles brandy... - Just a minute here! 1155 01:17:12,570 --> 01:17:14,870 This is my game! You've had your game! 1156 01:17:15,070 --> 01:17:16,770 I want to hear. I love stories. 1157 01:17:16,970 --> 01:17:18,970 Mousie's father was a holy man, see? 1158 01:17:19,270 --> 01:17:23,270 He ran a traveling clip joint and he took the faithful, just took them. 1159 01:17:23,670 --> 01:17:25,970 - This is familiar. - No kidding. 1160 01:17:26,170 --> 01:17:29,770 Anyway, Blondie and his frau out of the Plains States came. 1161 01:17:30,470 --> 01:17:32,170 Very funny, George. 1162 01:17:32,670 --> 01:17:33,470 Thank you. 1163 01:17:33,670 --> 01:17:35,970 They settled in a town like Nouveau Carthage. 1164 01:17:36,170 --> 01:17:37,970 - I don't think you should go on. - Do you not? 1165 01:17:38,170 --> 01:17:39,970 I love familiar stories. They're the best. 1166 01:17:40,270 --> 01:17:43,670 How right you are! But Blondie was all in disguise as a teacher... 1167 01:17:43,970 --> 01:17:48,270 ...because his baggage ticket had bigger things writ on it. H.I.! 1168 01:17:48,770 --> 01:17:50,270 Historical Inevitability. 1169 01:17:50,670 --> 01:17:53,270 - There's no reason to go further. - Let them go on. 1170 01:17:53,970 --> 01:17:57,970 He had this baggage, and part of his baggage was in the form of his mouse. 1171 01:17:58,370 --> 01:17:59,570 We don't have to listen. 1172 01:17:59,870 --> 01:18:01,370 - Why not? - She has a point. 1173 01:18:01,570 --> 01:18:04,370 Nobody could figure out Blondie's baggage, his mouse. 1174 01:18:04,670 --> 01:18:08,370 I mean, here he was pan-Kansas swimming champion or something... 1175 01:18:08,670 --> 01:18:09,870 ...and he had this mouse. 1176 01:18:10,170 --> 01:18:13,870 Of whom he was solicitous to a point that faileth human understanding... 1177 01:18:14,170 --> 01:18:16,370 ...given that she was something of a simp. 1178 01:18:16,670 --> 01:18:17,970 This just isn't fair of you. 1179 01:18:18,370 --> 01:18:21,270 Perhaps not. His mouse tooted brandy immodestly... 1180 01:18:21,470 --> 01:18:23,970 ...and spent half her time in the upchuck. 1181 01:18:24,170 --> 01:18:25,670 - I know these people. - Do you? 1182 01:18:25,870 --> 01:18:28,170 But she was money baggage among other things. 1183 01:18:28,570 --> 01:18:33,170 Godly money from the golden teeth of the unfaithful and she was put up with! 1184 01:18:33,370 --> 01:18:36,470 - I don't like this story. - And she was put up with! 1185 01:18:36,670 --> 01:18:37,670 Stop? Hah! 1186 01:18:37,870 --> 01:18:40,370 - Please, please, don't. - Beg, baby! 1187 01:18:41,370 --> 01:18:44,370 - Flashback to "How they got married." - No! 1188 01:18:44,870 --> 01:18:47,170 - Why? - How they got married was this. 1189 01:18:47,670 --> 01:18:49,870 The mouse got all puffed up one day... 1190 01:18:50,670 --> 01:18:54,570 ...and she went over to Blondie's house and stuck out her puff... 1191 01:18:54,870 --> 01:18:56,170 ...and she said, "Look at me." 1192 01:18:56,570 --> 01:18:57,570 I don't like this. 1193 01:18:57,870 --> 01:19:02,270 "Look at me, I'm all puffed up." "Oh, my goodness," said Blondie. 1194 01:19:02,570 --> 01:19:04,370 And so they were married. 1195 01:19:06,170 --> 01:19:07,270 And then what? 1196 01:19:07,570 --> 01:19:11,270 And then the puff went away again like magic. Poof! 1197 01:19:14,070 --> 01:19:15,270 The puff went away? 1198 01:19:17,770 --> 01:19:21,270 Honey, I didn't mean to. Honestly. 1199 01:19:24,770 --> 01:19:27,170 You shouldn't have told them! 1200 01:19:27,370 --> 01:19:30,370 No! You couldn't have told them! 1201 01:19:31,470 --> 01:19:33,670 And that's how you play Get the Guests. 1202 01:19:34,970 --> 01:19:37,270 Oh, please! I'm going to be sick! 1203 01:19:44,670 --> 01:19:46,570 You shouldn't have done that. 1204 01:19:47,170 --> 01:19:49,470 - I hate hypocrisy. - That was cruel and vicious. 1205 01:19:49,670 --> 01:19:51,570 She'll get over it. She'll recover. 1206 01:19:51,770 --> 01:19:53,370 - And damaging to me. - To you! 1207 01:19:53,570 --> 01:19:54,370 To me! 1208 01:19:57,270 --> 01:20:01,870 Beautiful. You got to have a swine to show you where the truffles are. 1209 01:20:02,570 --> 01:20:05,670 Rearrange your alliances. Make the best of things. 1210 01:20:05,970 --> 01:20:07,470 Put your wife in the car. 1211 01:20:07,770 --> 01:20:10,170 I've had enough rides tonight. We'll walk. 1212 01:20:10,470 --> 01:20:12,470 Right, you go plan some new strategy. 1213 01:20:14,670 --> 01:20:15,770 You'll regret this. 1214 01:20:15,970 --> 01:20:17,570 No doubt. I regret everything. 1215 01:20:17,970 --> 01:20:19,970 No, I mean I'll make you regret this. 1216 01:20:20,170 --> 01:20:20,970 Clean up the mess. 1217 01:20:21,470 --> 01:20:22,470 You just wait. 1218 01:20:24,170 --> 01:20:25,970 - Very good, George. - Thank you. 1219 01:20:26,170 --> 01:20:28,470 - Really good! - I'm glad you enjoyed it. 1220 01:20:28,670 --> 01:20:33,270 I mean, you did a good job. You really fixed it. 1221 01:20:34,870 --> 01:20:37,370 That's the most life you've shown in a long time. 1222 01:20:37,670 --> 01:20:39,070 You bring out the best in me. 1223 01:20:43,070 --> 01:20:44,870 You really are a bastard! 1224 01:20:45,170 --> 01:20:47,670 You can go around like a hopped-up Arab... 1225 01:20:48,570 --> 01:20:51,670 ...slashing at everything, scarring up half the world... 1226 01:20:51,970 --> 01:20:54,670 ...but let somebody else try it? Oh no! 1227 01:20:54,870 --> 01:20:59,070 Why, baby, I did it all for you! I thought you'd like it, sweetheart. 1228 01:20:59,870 --> 01:21:02,370 It's to your taste, blood, carnage and all. 1229 01:21:02,970 --> 01:21:05,070 I thought you'd sort of get excited. 1230 01:21:05,370 --> 01:21:08,770 Heave and pant and come running at me, your melons bobbling... 1231 01:21:09,070 --> 01:21:11,370 You have really screwed up, George. 1232 01:21:12,070 --> 01:21:13,770 I mean it! You really have! 1233 01:21:15,070 --> 01:21:16,770 You can sit, gin running from your mouth... 1234 01:21:17,070 --> 01:21:21,070 ...you can humiliate me, tear me to pieces all night, it's perfectly okay. 1235 01:21:21,370 --> 01:21:22,570 You can stand it! 1236 01:21:22,870 --> 01:21:23,870 I cannot stand it! 1237 01:21:24,270 --> 01:21:27,070 You can stand it! You married me for it! 1238 01:21:30,070 --> 01:21:31,870 That's a desperately sick lie. 1239 01:21:32,270 --> 01:21:34,270 Don't you know it even yet? 1240 01:21:37,570 --> 01:21:39,970 My arm's gotten tired whipping you. 1241 01:21:40,970 --> 01:21:43,470 - Year after year! - Deluded, Martha. 1242 01:21:43,770 --> 01:21:44,770 It's not what I wanted. 1243 01:21:45,070 --> 01:21:47,770 I thought at least you were onto yourself. I didn't know. 1244 01:21:48,470 --> 01:21:49,770 No. You're sick! 1245 01:21:51,570 --> 01:21:54,270 I'll show you who's sick! 1246 01:22:09,470 --> 01:22:12,770 You really are having a field day, aren't you? 1247 01:22:14,470 --> 01:22:17,770 Well, I'm gonna finish you before I'm through with you. 1248 01:22:18,270 --> 01:22:21,270 You and that quarterback? You both going to finish me? 1249 01:22:21,470 --> 01:22:25,770 Before I'm through with you you'll wish you'd died in that automobile! 1250 01:22:26,170 --> 01:22:28,470 You'll wish you'd never mentioned our son. 1251 01:22:28,770 --> 01:22:29,570 I warned you. 1252 01:22:29,770 --> 01:22:32,170 - I'm impressed! - I warned you not to go too far! 1253 01:22:32,370 --> 01:22:34,570 I'm just beginning! 1254 01:22:35,170 --> 01:22:38,270 I'm numbed so I can take you when we're alone. I don't listen. 1255 01:22:38,970 --> 01:22:43,470 And if I do listen I sift it so I don't really hear, which is the only way. 1256 01:22:44,770 --> 01:22:47,370 But you've taken a new tack in the last century... 1257 01:22:47,670 --> 01:22:50,970 ...which is just too much. Too much! 1258 01:22:52,870 --> 01:22:56,970 I don't mind your dirty underthings in public. I do, but I'm reconciled to it. 1259 01:22:57,470 --> 01:23:00,670 You've moved into your own fantasy world! You don't know... 1260 01:23:01,470 --> 01:23:02,870 - You have! - Nuts! 1261 01:23:03,170 --> 01:23:04,370 You can go on... 1262 01:23:04,670 --> 01:23:08,970 Have you ever listened to your sentences? You're so convoluted. 1263 01:23:09,670 --> 01:23:11,970 You talk like one of your stupid papers. 1264 01:23:12,370 --> 01:23:15,470 Actually, I'm rather worried about you. About your mind. 1265 01:23:15,870 --> 01:23:18,370 Don't you worry about my mind, sweetheart! 1266 01:23:18,670 --> 01:23:19,670 I'll commit you. 1267 01:23:20,170 --> 01:23:21,170 You what? 1268 01:23:21,570 --> 01:23:23,570 I think I'll have you committed. 1269 01:23:27,370 --> 01:23:29,570 Baby, aren't you something? 1270 01:23:30,170 --> 01:23:32,070 I've got to find a way to get at you. 1271 01:23:32,370 --> 01:23:35,870 You've got at me, you don't have to do anything, George. 1272 01:23:36,570 --> 01:23:38,870 A thousand years of you has been enough! 1273 01:23:39,170 --> 01:23:40,170 You'll go quietly then? 1274 01:23:41,670 --> 01:23:45,170 Do you want to know what's really happened? 1275 01:23:46,070 --> 01:23:50,070 It snapped! Finally. Not me, it! The whole arrangement. 1276 01:23:50,670 --> 01:23:53,870 You can go on forever and ever, everything is manageable. 1277 01:23:54,270 --> 01:23:58,070 You make all sorts of excuses: "To hell with it, this is life." 1278 01:23:58,270 --> 01:24:00,570 "Maybe tomorrow he'll be dead. Maybe tomorrow you'll be dead." 1279 01:24:01,070 --> 01:24:02,570 All sorts of excuses. 1280 01:24:03,470 --> 01:24:05,170 Then one day... 1281 01:24:05,370 --> 01:24:07,970 ...one night, something happens... 1282 01:24:08,670 --> 01:24:09,670 ...and snap! 1283 01:24:09,870 --> 01:24:13,270 It breaks and you just don't give a damn anymore! 1284 01:24:15,270 --> 01:24:18,270 I tried with you, baby. I really tried. 1285 01:24:19,070 --> 01:24:20,270 Come off it. 1286 01:24:24,070 --> 01:24:25,870 You're a monster. You are. 1287 01:24:27,270 --> 01:24:29,070 I'm loud, and I'm vulgar... 1288 01:24:29,470 --> 01:24:32,570 ...and I wear the pants in the house because somebody's got to! 1289 01:24:33,670 --> 01:24:35,570 But I am not a monster! 1290 01:24:36,570 --> 01:24:37,570 I'm not! 1291 01:24:37,970 --> 01:24:41,870 You're a spoiled, self-indulgent, dirty-minded, liquor-riddled... 1292 01:24:42,170 --> 01:24:44,270 Snap! It went snap. 1293 01:24:44,970 --> 01:24:47,470 I won't try to get through to you any more. 1294 01:24:48,570 --> 01:24:51,570 There was a second back there, when I could've... 1295 01:24:51,770 --> 01:24:53,270 ...gotten through to you. 1296 01:24:53,870 --> 01:24:57,270 When maybe we could've out through all this crap! 1297 01:24:58,470 --> 01:25:02,170 But it's past. And I'm not going to try. 1298 01:25:02,470 --> 01:25:05,270 Once a month, Martha. I've gotten used to it. 1299 01:25:05,870 --> 01:25:10,570 We get Misunderstood Martha, the good-hearted girl beneath the barnacles. 1300 01:25:10,770 --> 01:25:14,170 The little miss that a touch of kindness will bring to bloom again. 1301 01:25:15,270 --> 01:25:18,970 I believed it more times than I'd admit. I'm that much of a sucker. 1302 01:25:19,670 --> 01:25:22,270 But I don't believe you, I just don't believe you! 1303 01:25:22,670 --> 01:25:26,470 There is no moment any more when we could come together. 1304 01:25:26,770 --> 01:25:30,470 You can't come together with nothing. And you're nothing! 1305 01:25:30,970 --> 01:25:31,970 Snap! 1306 01:25:33,670 --> 01:25:36,370 I looked at you tonight and you weren't there! 1307 01:25:37,870 --> 01:25:42,170 It finally snapped. And I'm gonna howl it out! 1308 01:25:42,670 --> 01:25:44,170 I won't give a damn what I do. 1309 01:25:44,470 --> 01:25:47,970 And I'll make the biggest goddamn explosion you've ever heard! 1310 01:25:48,670 --> 01:25:50,470 And I'll beat you at your own game. 1311 01:25:50,870 --> 01:25:53,670 - Is that a threat, George? - That's a threat, Martha. 1312 01:25:53,870 --> 01:25:55,170 You're going to get it, baby! 1313 01:25:55,470 --> 01:25:57,670 Be careful, I'll rip you to pieces. 1314 01:25:58,070 --> 01:26:01,170 You are not man enough. You haven't the guts! 1315 01:26:02,670 --> 01:26:03,670 Total war? 1316 01:26:04,470 --> 01:26:05,770 Total! 1317 01:30:16,670 --> 01:30:17,570 Bells. 1318 01:30:22,070 --> 01:30:24,570 I've been hearing bells! 1319 01:30:26,070 --> 01:30:27,370 Bells ringing. 1320 01:30:38,170 --> 01:30:40,370 And I couldn't sleep for the bells. 1321 01:30:44,270 --> 01:30:45,970 That woke me up. 1322 01:30:46,370 --> 01:30:47,570 What time is it? 1323 01:30:48,270 --> 01:30:49,770 Don't bother me. 1324 01:30:53,570 --> 01:30:54,870 I was asleep. 1325 01:30:56,070 --> 01:30:58,770 And I was dreaming of something... 1326 01:30:59,370 --> 01:31:00,570 ...and I heard the sounds coming... 1327 01:31:00,770 --> 01:31:03,170 ...and I didn't know what it was... 1328 01:31:04,570 --> 01:31:06,070 ...and it frightened me. 1329 01:31:06,770 --> 01:31:08,570 I'm going to get you, Martha. 1330 01:31:10,570 --> 01:31:12,070 Somehow, Martha. 1331 01:31:13,270 --> 01:31:17,370 And there was someone there and... I didn't want someone there. 1332 01:31:17,870 --> 01:31:19,570 I was naked. 1333 01:31:19,870 --> 01:31:21,770 You don't know what's going on, do you? 1334 01:31:22,770 --> 01:31:24,470 I don't want to know. 1335 01:31:25,570 --> 01:31:26,970 Listen to them! 1336 01:31:27,470 --> 01:31:29,270 - I don't want to! - Look at them! 1337 01:31:33,970 --> 01:31:35,570 I don't want any children. 1338 01:31:36,570 --> 01:31:38,770 I don't want any children, please! 1339 01:31:39,770 --> 01:31:43,270 I'm afraid. I don't want to be hurt. 1340 01:31:45,770 --> 01:31:47,470 I should have known. 1341 01:31:48,570 --> 01:31:51,070 Does that stud you married know about that? 1342 01:31:52,070 --> 01:31:55,270 How do you make your secret little murders? Pills? 1343 01:31:55,570 --> 01:31:58,670 You got a secret supply of pills? Apple jelly? Willpower? 1344 01:31:58,970 --> 01:31:59,870 Going to throw up? 1345 01:32:00,070 --> 01:32:02,170 Where is he? I want my husband! I want a drink! 1346 01:32:02,370 --> 01:32:04,470 That's right, go at it! 1347 01:32:05,270 --> 01:32:07,470 You know what's going on there? 1348 01:32:09,470 --> 01:32:13,470 I don't want to know anything. You leave me alone. 1349 01:32:15,470 --> 01:32:16,370 Who rang? 1350 01:32:17,270 --> 01:32:18,770 What were the bells? Who rang? 1351 01:32:19,170 --> 01:32:20,970 He's up there and you ask who rang? 1352 01:32:21,170 --> 01:32:22,570 Someone rang! 1353 01:32:26,870 --> 01:32:28,270 Someone rang. 1354 01:32:31,370 --> 01:32:33,370 The bells rang and it was someone... 1355 01:32:33,570 --> 01:32:34,670 Somebody. 1356 01:32:36,170 --> 01:32:38,970 Somebody rang. The bells rang and it was somebody... 1357 01:32:44,170 --> 01:32:45,170 I've got it! 1358 01:32:46,270 --> 01:32:47,870 I've got it, Martha! 1359 01:32:48,470 --> 01:32:50,970 It was a message. The message was... 1360 01:32:51,170 --> 01:32:54,470 ...our son... it was a message... The bells rang... 1361 01:32:54,770 --> 01:32:56,870 ...and it was a message. And it was about... 1362 01:32:57,470 --> 01:32:58,970 ...our son... 1363 01:32:59,170 --> 01:33:00,870 And the message was... 1364 01:33:03,570 --> 01:33:05,170 ...our son... 1365 01:33:05,470 --> 01:33:07,670 ...is dead! 1366 01:33:07,870 --> 01:33:10,770 Our son is dead and I haven't told Martha! 1367 01:33:11,070 --> 01:33:14,170 Our son is dead, Martha doesn't know, and you won't tell her! 1368 01:33:17,070 --> 01:33:20,370 I'll tell her myself. In good time I'll tell her myself. 1369 01:33:20,670 --> 01:33:22,070 I'm going to be sick. 1370 01:33:22,670 --> 01:33:23,970 Are you? That's nice. 1371 01:33:24,170 --> 01:33:27,570 - I'm going to die. - Good, go right ahead. 1372 01:33:36,570 --> 01:33:38,070 Martha, I have some... 1373 01:33:38,770 --> 01:33:40,270 ...terrible news. 1374 01:33:42,370 --> 01:33:43,970 It's about our son. 1375 01:33:45,970 --> 01:33:47,070 He's dead. 1376 01:33:49,770 --> 01:33:51,270 Do you hear me, Martha? 1377 01:33:53,370 --> 01:33:55,070 Our boy is dead. 1378 01:34:47,470 --> 01:34:49,970 Where the hell is everybody? 1379 01:35:46,870 --> 01:35:51,170 I'll give you bastards five to come from wherever you're hiding! 1380 01:37:06,970 --> 01:37:09,270 By God, you've gone crazy too. 1381 01:37:11,570 --> 01:37:14,070 I said you've gone crazy too. 1382 01:37:17,770 --> 01:37:19,070 Probably. 1383 01:37:21,870 --> 01:37:23,170 You've all gone crazy. 1384 01:37:24,870 --> 01:37:26,770 I come downstairs and what happens? 1385 01:37:35,370 --> 01:37:36,870 What happens? 1386 01:37:41,270 --> 01:37:45,070 My wife's in the can with a liquor bottle and she winks at me. 1387 01:37:46,270 --> 01:37:47,670 Winks at me! 1388 01:37:48,770 --> 01:37:50,670 She's never winked at you? 1389 01:37:51,670 --> 01:37:53,470 What a shame! 1390 01:37:54,470 --> 01:37:57,970 She's lying down on the floor, on the tiles, all curled-up... 1391 01:37:59,670 --> 01:38:03,070 ...and she starts peeling the label on the brandy bottle. 1392 01:38:03,270 --> 01:38:06,170 Maybe she'd be more comfortable in the tub. 1393 01:38:09,170 --> 01:38:11,870 And I asked her what she's doing and she goes... 1394 01:38:12,170 --> 01:38:14,670 ..."Sshh, nobody knows I'm here." 1395 01:38:17,370 --> 01:38:19,370 And I come down here... 1396 01:38:19,670 --> 01:38:24,170 ...and you're stumbling around going "clink", for God's sake, "clink". 1397 01:38:27,470 --> 01:38:29,370 You've all gone crazy. 1398 01:38:31,370 --> 01:38:32,870 Sad but true. 1399 01:38:34,370 --> 01:38:36,170 Where is your husband? 1400 01:38:36,570 --> 01:38:39,370 He is vanished. 1401 01:38:45,370 --> 01:38:47,070 You're all crazy. 1402 01:38:47,870 --> 01:38:48,970 Nuts! 1403 01:38:49,670 --> 01:38:53,570 'Tis the refuge we take when the unreality of the world... 1404 01:38:53,870 --> 01:38:56,170 ...sits too heavy on our tiny heads. 1405 01:38:58,370 --> 01:39:02,370 Relax! Sink into it. You're no better than anybody else. 1406 01:39:04,070 --> 01:39:05,370 I think I am. 1407 01:39:11,170 --> 01:39:14,770 You're certainly a flop in some departments. 1408 01:39:24,070 --> 01:39:25,270 What'd you say? 1409 01:39:27,270 --> 01:39:29,770 I said you're a flop in some departments. 1410 01:39:30,070 --> 01:39:31,770 I'm sorry you're disappointed. 1411 01:39:32,370 --> 01:39:34,870 Maybe some time when I didn't drink for ten hours. 1412 01:39:36,070 --> 01:39:38,770 Baby, you sure are a flop! 1413 01:39:39,870 --> 01:39:42,970 You're something. You know that? You're really something! 1414 01:39:45,670 --> 01:39:47,570 To you, everybody's a flop! 1415 01:39:47,970 --> 01:39:49,470 Your husband's a flop, I'm a flop. 1416 01:39:49,770 --> 01:39:50,770 You're all flops. 1417 01:39:51,070 --> 01:39:54,970 I am the Earth Mother and you are all flops. 1418 01:40:00,070 --> 01:40:02,070 I disgust me. 1419 01:40:09,570 --> 01:40:13,070 There's only been one man in my life who's ever made me happy. 1420 01:40:15,270 --> 01:40:17,170 You know that? One. 1421 01:40:17,770 --> 01:40:19,670 The gym instructor or something? 1422 01:40:22,970 --> 01:40:23,870 George. 1423 01:40:26,970 --> 01:40:28,270 My husband. 1424 01:40:28,770 --> 01:40:29,970 You're kidding? 1425 01:40:31,170 --> 01:40:32,970 You must be. Him? 1426 01:40:36,470 --> 01:40:37,770 You don't believe it. 1427 01:40:38,170 --> 01:40:39,470 Why, of course I do. 1428 01:40:39,970 --> 01:40:41,770 You always deal on appearances? 1429 01:40:42,070 --> 01:40:43,270 For God's sake! 1430 01:40:44,770 --> 01:40:48,470 George who is out somewhere there in the dark. 1431 01:40:49,870 --> 01:40:52,670 Who is good to me. Whom I revile. 1432 01:40:54,170 --> 01:40:58,870 Who can keep learning the games we play as quickly as I can change them. 1433 01:40:59,470 --> 01:41:02,670 Who can make me happy and I do not wish to be happy. 1434 01:41:02,970 --> 01:41:05,670 Yes, I do wish to be happy. 1435 01:41:07,970 --> 01:41:09,970 George and Martha. 1436 01:41:10,970 --> 01:41:13,170 Sad, sad, sad. 1437 01:41:15,670 --> 01:41:18,470 Whom I will not forgive for having come to rest. 1438 01:41:19,170 --> 01:41:21,470 For having seen me and having said... 1439 01:41:22,470 --> 01:41:25,070 ..."Yes, this will do." 1440 01:41:26,170 --> 01:41:29,670 Who has made the hideous, the hurting... 1441 01:41:30,070 --> 01:41:34,570 ...the insulting mistake of loving me. 1442 01:41:35,370 --> 01:41:37,170 And must be punished for it. 1443 01:41:43,070 --> 01:41:45,870 Sad, sad, sad. 1444 01:41:49,670 --> 01:41:50,670 Some day... 1445 01:41:52,870 --> 01:41:54,070 ...some night... 1446 01:41:54,370 --> 01:41:58,770 ...some stupid liquor-ridden night I will go too far. 1447 01:42:00,070 --> 01:42:04,070 I'll either break his back or I'll push him off for good, which I deserve. 1448 01:42:05,370 --> 01:42:07,370 I don't think he's got a vertebrae intact. 1449 01:42:08,870 --> 01:42:11,570 Oh, you don't? 1450 01:42:11,770 --> 01:42:13,470 You don't think so? 1451 01:42:14,370 --> 01:42:15,870 Oh, little boy! 1452 01:42:16,770 --> 01:42:20,270 You've got yourself so hunched over your microphone... 1453 01:42:20,570 --> 01:42:21,870 Microscope! 1454 01:42:22,270 --> 01:42:24,570 Yes. And you don't see anything, do you? 1455 01:42:24,870 --> 01:42:27,570 You see everything but the goddamn mind. 1456 01:42:27,870 --> 01:42:32,270 You see all the specks and the crap, but you don't see what goes on, do you? 1457 01:42:33,570 --> 01:42:37,570 You know so little. And you're going to take over the world, huh? 1458 01:42:38,070 --> 01:42:39,570 I said, all right! 1459 01:42:41,570 --> 01:42:43,570 The stallion's mad, huh? 1460 01:42:43,970 --> 01:42:47,270 The gelding's getting all upset, huh? 1461 01:42:47,570 --> 01:42:49,570 You swing wild, don't you? 1462 01:42:49,970 --> 01:42:51,570 You poor little bastard! 1463 01:42:51,970 --> 01:42:53,270 Hit out at everything! 1464 01:42:53,970 --> 01:42:55,270 Go answer the door. 1465 01:42:56,970 --> 01:42:58,070 What'd you say to me? 1466 01:42:58,470 --> 01:43:00,970 I said go answer the door. What are you, deaf? 1467 01:43:01,270 --> 01:43:03,470 You want me to go answer the door? 1468 01:43:03,770 --> 01:43:06,270 That's right, lunkhead, go answer the door. 1469 01:43:06,770 --> 01:43:09,270 Or are you too drunk to do that, too? 1470 01:43:09,570 --> 01:43:11,070 There's no need for you to... 1471 01:43:11,270 --> 01:43:12,670 Answer it! 1472 01:43:13,370 --> 01:43:15,070 You be houseboy around here awhile. 1473 01:43:15,270 --> 01:43:17,270 You can start in being houseboy right now. 1474 01:43:17,670 --> 01:43:19,270 Look, I'm no flunky to you. 1475 01:43:19,670 --> 01:43:22,170 Sure, you are! You're ambitious, aren't you? 1476 01:43:22,470 --> 01:43:26,670 You didn't come back here with me out of driven passion, did you? 1477 01:43:27,470 --> 01:43:30,270 You were thinking a little bit about your career. 1478 01:43:31,170 --> 01:43:35,670 You can just houseboy your way up the ladder for awhile. 1479 01:43:37,470 --> 01:43:38,870 There's no limit to you, is there? 1480 01:43:39,170 --> 01:43:41,370 No, baby, none. Go answer the door. 1481 01:43:41,670 --> 01:43:43,170 Go on, git! 1482 01:43:45,470 --> 01:43:46,970 Aimless. Wanton. 1483 01:43:47,370 --> 01:43:49,470 Now, you just do as you're told. 1484 01:43:49,870 --> 01:43:52,370 You show ol' Martha there's something you can do. 1485 01:43:52,670 --> 01:43:54,970 I'm coming, for Christ's sake! 1486 01:43:55,370 --> 01:43:56,970 Wonderful! Marvelous! 1487 01:43:57,370 --> 01:44:00,070 Just a gigolo everywhere I go. 1488 01:44:00,370 --> 01:44:01,170 Stop that! 1489 01:44:01,670 --> 01:44:05,370 Sorry, baby. Now you go answer the little door, huh? 1490 01:44:14,470 --> 01:44:16,370 How lovely! 1491 01:44:18,870 --> 01:44:22,370 Why, sonny, you came home for your birthday at last! 1492 01:44:22,870 --> 01:44:24,270 Get away from me! 1493 01:44:24,870 --> 01:44:27,670 That's the houseboy, for God's sake! 1494 01:44:28,070 --> 01:44:32,170 That's not our own little Sonny-Jim, our own all-American something or other? 1495 01:44:32,570 --> 01:44:36,570 I certainly hope not. He's been acting awful funny if he is. 1496 01:44:36,870 --> 01:44:38,670 I'll bet. Chippie, chippie, huh? 1497 01:44:41,470 --> 01:44:43,470 I brung these flowers... 1498 01:44:45,770 --> 01:44:47,170 ...'cause youse... 1499 01:44:47,970 --> 01:44:49,670 Aw, hell, Martha! 1500 01:44:51,470 --> 01:44:56,170 Pansies, rosemary, violence, mah wedding bouquet! 1501 01:44:56,470 --> 01:44:58,170 If you don't mind, I'll get my wife... 1502 01:44:59,670 --> 01:45:02,870 You stay right where you are. Make my hubby a drink. 1503 01:45:03,170 --> 01:45:04,470 I don't think I will. 1504 01:45:04,870 --> 01:45:09,170 No, Martha. That would be too much. He's your houseboy, not mine. 1505 01:45:09,470 --> 01:45:11,470 I'm nobody's houseboy! 1506 01:45:13,470 --> 01:45:17,470 I'm nobody's houseboy now 1507 01:45:19,170 --> 01:45:19,970 Vicious. 1508 01:45:19,970 --> 01:45:21,470 Children? That right? 1509 01:45:21,870 --> 01:45:25,970 Vicious children with their sad games hopscotching their way through life? 1510 01:45:26,370 --> 01:45:27,470 Something like that. 1511 01:45:27,870 --> 01:45:28,670 Screw, baby. 1512 01:45:28,970 --> 01:45:31,970 Him can't! Him too full o' booze! 1513 01:45:32,370 --> 01:45:35,670 Weally? Here! Dump these in some gin. 1514 01:45:38,370 --> 01:45:40,970 A terrible thing to do to Martha's snapdragons! 1515 01:45:41,170 --> 01:45:42,670 Is that what they are? 1516 01:45:43,070 --> 01:45:47,170 Yup. And I went by moonlight to Daddy's greenhouse to pick them for her. 1517 01:45:47,570 --> 01:45:50,370 There is no moon. I saw it go down from the bedroom. 1518 01:45:50,670 --> 01:45:51,870 From the bedroom? 1519 01:45:54,070 --> 01:45:55,170 There is a moon. 1520 01:45:55,570 --> 01:45:58,070 There is no goddamn moon, the moon went down. 1521 01:45:58,370 --> 01:46:00,070 That may be, Chastity, but it came back up. 1522 01:46:00,270 --> 01:46:01,070 Bull! 1523 01:46:01,070 --> 01:46:04,270 Once when I was sailing past Majorca, the moon went down... 1524 01:46:04,470 --> 01:46:07,570 ...thought about it awhile then, pop, came up again. 1525 01:46:07,870 --> 01:46:10,770 That is not true. That is such a lie! 1526 01:46:11,070 --> 01:46:13,370 You must not call everything a lie. Must she? 1527 01:46:13,870 --> 01:46:15,870 I don't know when you people are lying. 1528 01:46:16,570 --> 01:46:19,070 - You're damn right! - You're not supposed to. 1529 01:46:20,670 --> 01:46:24,570 - So, I was sailing past Majorca... - You never sailed past Majorca. 1530 01:46:25,070 --> 01:46:28,570 You were never in the Mediterranean at all, ever! 1531 01:46:28,870 --> 01:46:31,870 My mom and dad took me as a college graduation present. 1532 01:46:32,570 --> 01:46:33,770 After you killed them? 1533 01:46:35,370 --> 01:46:36,470 Maybe. 1534 01:46:37,870 --> 01:46:40,270 Yeah. And maybe not too. 1535 01:46:40,970 --> 01:46:41,870 Jesus! 1536 01:46:42,470 --> 01:46:46,070 Truth and illusion. Who knows the difference, toots? Houseboy? 1537 01:46:46,470 --> 01:46:47,270 I'm not a houseboy. 1538 01:46:47,570 --> 01:46:50,870 You don't make it in the sack, you're a houseboy. 1539 01:46:51,770 --> 01:46:53,570 Then you must have made it, yes? 1540 01:46:54,270 --> 01:46:58,570 Somebody's lying, not playing the game straight. Who's lying? Martha? 1541 01:46:59,470 --> 01:47:00,970 Tell him I'm not a houseboy. 1542 01:47:02,870 --> 01:47:04,770 You're not a houseboy. 1543 01:47:08,970 --> 01:47:09,970 So be it. 1544 01:47:11,970 --> 01:47:14,770 Truth and illusion. You don't know the difference. 1545 01:47:15,770 --> 01:47:18,270 No, but we must carry on as though we did. 1546 01:47:19,470 --> 01:47:20,670 Amen. 1547 01:47:22,470 --> 01:47:23,670 Snap went the dragons. 1548 01:47:23,870 --> 01:47:24,670 Thank you. 1549 01:47:25,570 --> 01:47:26,470 Skip it. 1550 01:47:26,770 --> 01:47:27,970 I said snap went the dragons! 1551 01:47:28,270 --> 01:47:29,670 Yeah, we know. 1552 01:47:30,670 --> 01:47:31,670 Don't! 1553 01:47:31,970 --> 01:47:33,170 Don't do that. 1554 01:47:33,470 --> 01:47:34,270 Shut up, stud! 1555 01:47:34,670 --> 01:47:35,670 I'm not a stud. 1556 01:47:35,970 --> 01:47:37,970 Then you're a houseboy. Which is it? 1557 01:47:38,770 --> 01:47:40,470 Does it matter to you? 1558 01:47:41,270 --> 01:47:44,270 No, actually it doesn't. Either way I've had it. 1559 01:47:45,170 --> 01:47:47,870 Stop throwing these damn things at me! 1560 01:47:48,170 --> 01:47:50,370 - Either way. Snap! - Shall I do something to him? 1561 01:47:50,670 --> 01:47:51,970 You leave him alone! 1562 01:47:52,370 --> 01:47:54,670 Which are you, baby, houseboy or stud? 1563 01:47:57,170 --> 01:48:00,670 Truth or illusion, George? Doesn't it matter to you at all? 1564 01:48:03,670 --> 01:48:06,370 Snap! You got your answer, baby. 1565 01:48:11,670 --> 01:48:12,470 Got it. 1566 01:48:16,970 --> 01:48:19,370 You just gird your blue-veined loins, girl. 1567 01:48:19,870 --> 01:48:22,870 There's one more game to play. It's called Bringing up Baby. 1568 01:48:24,170 --> 01:48:27,170 I don't want a fuss. Don't want any scandal around here, do you? 1569 01:48:27,570 --> 01:48:29,370 Want to keep to your timetable? Then sit! 1570 01:48:30,070 --> 01:48:34,670 And you, pretty miss, you like fun and games! You're a sport from way back! 1571 01:48:35,070 --> 01:48:36,070 All right. 1572 01:48:36,370 --> 01:48:38,570 Good. But we're not all here. 1573 01:48:41,370 --> 01:48:42,870 Your little wifelet isn't here. 1574 01:48:43,170 --> 01:48:44,570 She had a rough night... 1575 01:48:44,870 --> 01:48:48,170 We can't play without everybody. We need your little wife. 1576 01:48:51,070 --> 01:48:52,070 Cut that! 1577 01:48:53,070 --> 01:48:56,370 Just get off your butt and bring that little dip back in here! 1578 01:48:56,770 --> 01:48:59,770 Now be a good puppy, go fetch. Fetch, good puppy. 1579 01:49:10,070 --> 01:49:11,170 One more game. 1580 01:49:19,670 --> 01:49:21,570 I don't like what's going to happen. 1581 01:49:22,070 --> 01:49:23,370 Do you know what it is? 1582 01:49:24,170 --> 01:49:26,670 No. But I don't like it. 1583 01:49:27,070 --> 01:49:28,670 Maybe you will, Martha. 1584 01:49:30,070 --> 01:49:31,870 It's a real fun game. 1585 01:49:32,170 --> 01:49:33,570 No more games. 1586 01:49:33,870 --> 01:49:37,770 One more, Martha. One more game and then beddie-bye. 1587 01:49:38,070 --> 01:49:42,370 Everybody packs up his tools and baggage and stuff and go home. 1588 01:49:42,770 --> 01:49:44,370 And you and me... 1589 01:49:44,970 --> 01:49:47,470 ...we're going to climb them well-worn stairs. 1590 01:49:47,770 --> 01:49:49,370 No, George, no. 1591 01:49:49,770 --> 01:49:51,070 Yes, baby. 1592 01:49:52,370 --> 01:49:54,570 It'll all be done before you know it. 1593 01:49:55,370 --> 01:49:57,370 No climb stairs with Georgie? 1594 01:49:57,770 --> 01:50:02,070 No more games. It's games I don't want. No more games, please. 1595 01:50:02,370 --> 01:50:06,270 Sure you do. Original game girl! Of course you do. 1596 01:50:09,470 --> 01:50:11,270 Don't you touch me! 1597 01:50:11,970 --> 01:50:13,670 Keep your paws clean for the undergraduates. 1598 01:50:15,770 --> 01:50:16,770 Listen to me! 1599 01:50:17,070 --> 01:50:18,370 You've had an evening. 1600 01:50:18,570 --> 01:50:23,070 You can't stop when there's enough blood in your mouth. We're going on. 1601 01:50:23,370 --> 01:50:27,070 I'm having at you, and your performance will look like an Easter pageant. 1602 01:50:27,470 --> 01:50:28,670 Get yourself alert. 1603 01:50:28,970 --> 01:50:30,470 - Get some life in you. - Stop! 1604 01:50:30,670 --> 01:50:31,870 Pull yourself together! 1605 01:50:32,270 --> 01:50:35,370 I'm going to knock you around and I want you up for it! 1606 01:50:36,370 --> 01:50:37,570 What do you want? 1607 01:50:37,770 --> 01:50:39,570 - An equal battle. - You'll get it. 1608 01:50:39,770 --> 01:50:42,270 - I want you mad. - I'm mad. Don't worry about it! 1609 01:50:42,970 --> 01:50:45,070 Good girl! We'll play to the death. 1610 01:50:45,270 --> 01:50:47,170 - Yours? - You'll be surprised. 1611 01:50:47,470 --> 01:50:48,770 Here come the tots. Be ready. 1612 01:50:49,170 --> 01:50:50,070 I'm ready for you. 1613 01:50:50,570 --> 01:50:52,970 Hip, hop. Hip, hip, hop. 1614 01:50:53,170 --> 01:50:55,270 Are you a bunny, honey! 1615 01:50:55,670 --> 01:50:57,870 - How's the bunny? - Bunny funny! 1616 01:50:58,270 --> 01:50:59,770 Bunny funny. Good for bunny. 1617 01:51:00,270 --> 01:51:01,470 Honey funny bunny. 1618 01:51:03,670 --> 01:51:04,970 All right, here we go. 1619 01:51:05,270 --> 01:51:06,970 Last game. All sit. 1620 01:51:08,170 --> 01:51:11,970 - Sit down. This is a civilized game. - Just get on with it. 1621 01:51:12,470 --> 01:51:16,470 I think we've been having a real good evening, all things considered. 1622 01:51:16,870 --> 01:51:19,670 We've got to know each other. And we've had fun and games. 1623 01:51:20,470 --> 01:51:21,870 Like Curl Up On The Floor. 1624 01:51:21,970 --> 01:51:22,770 The Tiles. 1625 01:51:22,970 --> 01:51:24,370 The Tiles, Snap The Dragon. 1626 01:51:24,870 --> 01:51:25,670 Peel the Label! 1627 01:51:26,870 --> 01:51:28,770 Label. Peel the Label. 1628 01:51:29,170 --> 01:51:30,670 I peel labels. 1629 01:51:30,870 --> 01:51:32,870 We all peel labels, sweetie. 1630 01:51:33,170 --> 01:51:36,170 When you get through the skin, and through the muscle... 1631 01:51:36,470 --> 01:51:40,670 ...and slosh aside the organs, down to the bone, you know what you do? 1632 01:51:41,870 --> 01:51:43,470 When you get down to the bone... 1633 01:51:43,870 --> 01:51:46,270 ...you aren't all the way. Something's inside the bone. 1634 01:51:46,670 --> 01:51:48,770 The marrow. That's what you got to get at. 1635 01:51:49,370 --> 01:51:52,470 But bones are pretty resilient, especially in the young. 1636 01:51:52,870 --> 01:51:53,970 Now take our son... 1637 01:51:56,670 --> 01:51:58,670 Our son. Martha's and my little joy. 1638 01:52:00,770 --> 01:52:02,170 Just what are you doing? 1639 01:52:02,370 --> 01:52:04,770 - I'm talking about our son. - Well, don't. 1640 01:52:05,170 --> 01:52:07,370 I want to. It's important we talk about him. 1641 01:52:07,670 --> 01:52:10,670 You want to hear about our bouncy boy, don't you? 1642 01:52:12,170 --> 01:52:14,170 Martha's and my son. 1643 01:52:16,670 --> 01:52:18,070 You have a child? 1644 01:52:18,370 --> 01:52:20,470 Yes indeed, do we ever! 1645 01:52:20,870 --> 01:52:22,370 Will you talk about him or shall I? 1646 01:52:22,570 --> 01:52:25,270 - Don't. - All rightie, now let's see. 1647 01:52:25,470 --> 01:52:27,270 He's nice, despite home his life. 1648 01:52:27,570 --> 01:52:31,370 Most kids would be neurotic, Martha carrying on the way she does. 1649 01:52:31,770 --> 01:52:34,870 Sleeping till 4 p. M. Climbing over the poor bastard... 1650 01:52:35,270 --> 01:52:39,670 ...trying to break the bathroom door to wash him in the tub when he's 16. 1651 01:52:40,270 --> 01:52:42,370 Dragging strangers to the house all hours. 1652 01:52:44,270 --> 01:52:45,370 That's enough. 1653 01:52:45,770 --> 01:52:46,970 Do you want to take over? 1654 01:52:47,270 --> 01:52:49,870 Why would anyone want to wash a 16 year-old? 1655 01:52:50,270 --> 01:52:51,570 For Christ's sake! 1656 01:52:51,870 --> 01:52:52,970 Well, why? 1657 01:52:53,170 --> 01:52:54,670 Because it's her baby-poo. 1658 01:52:55,070 --> 01:52:56,170 All right. 1659 01:52:56,570 --> 01:52:59,570 Our son, you want our son? You'll have it. 1660 01:53:02,470 --> 01:53:03,570 Do you want a drink? 1661 01:53:07,570 --> 01:53:10,070 We don't have to hear it if you don't want to. 1662 01:53:10,470 --> 01:53:12,870 Who says? You in a position to set the rules? 1663 01:53:15,270 --> 01:53:16,770 Good boy. You'll go far. 1664 01:53:17,570 --> 01:53:19,570 All right, your recitation please. 1665 01:53:25,570 --> 01:53:26,670 Our son... 1666 01:53:26,970 --> 01:53:27,870 All right! 1667 01:53:28,970 --> 01:53:30,070 Our son. 1668 01:53:32,670 --> 01:53:36,570 Our son was born in a September night, a night not unlike tonight... 1669 01:53:38,670 --> 01:53:39,870 ...though tomorrow... 1670 01:53:40,670 --> 01:53:42,470 ...and sixteen years ago. 1671 01:53:42,670 --> 01:53:44,070 See, I told you. 1672 01:53:45,470 --> 01:53:48,870 - It was an easy birth. - No, you labored, how you labored! 1673 01:53:49,270 --> 01:53:50,770 It was an easy birth! 1674 01:53:51,670 --> 01:53:53,370 Once it had been... 1675 01:53:53,570 --> 01:53:54,970 ...accepted. 1676 01:53:55,770 --> 01:53:58,570 - Relaxed into. - That's better. 1677 01:53:59,670 --> 01:54:02,970 It was an easy birth, once it had been accepted. 1678 01:54:04,470 --> 01:54:06,070 And I was young. 1679 01:54:06,470 --> 01:54:08,270 And he was healthy... 1680 01:54:09,370 --> 01:54:11,670 ...a red, bawling child. 1681 01:54:12,170 --> 01:54:14,470 Martha thinks she saw him at delivery. 1682 01:54:14,970 --> 01:54:17,170 With slippery, firm limbs. 1683 01:54:18,370 --> 01:54:22,170 And a full head of black, fine hair. 1684 01:54:23,370 --> 01:54:24,670 Which, later... 1685 01:54:25,370 --> 01:54:26,470 ...later became... 1686 01:54:28,570 --> 01:54:29,970 ...blond as the sun. 1687 01:54:31,670 --> 01:54:32,970 Our son. 1688 01:54:33,370 --> 01:54:34,670 He was a healthy child. 1689 01:54:36,170 --> 01:54:40,070 And I had wanted a child. Oh, I had wanted a child! 1690 01:54:40,370 --> 01:54:41,970 A son? Daughter? 1691 01:54:42,370 --> 01:54:43,370 A child! 1692 01:54:48,370 --> 01:54:49,970 I had my child. 1693 01:54:50,370 --> 01:54:51,470 Our child. 1694 01:54:54,570 --> 01:54:55,970 And we raised him. 1695 01:54:58,870 --> 01:55:00,870 Yes, we did. We raised him. 1696 01:55:04,170 --> 01:55:07,370 And he had green eyes. 1697 01:55:09,370 --> 01:55:12,970 Such green, green eyes. 1698 01:55:14,270 --> 01:55:16,070 Blue, green, brown. 1699 01:55:17,070 --> 01:55:18,770 And he loved the sun. 1700 01:55:19,070 --> 01:55:22,470 And he was tan before and after everyone. 1701 01:55:24,570 --> 01:55:26,170 And in the sun... 1702 01:55:27,070 --> 01:55:28,570 ...his hair became... 1703 01:55:29,570 --> 01:55:30,670 ...fleece. 1704 01:55:34,770 --> 01:55:37,670 Beautiful, beautiful boy. 1705 01:55:43,070 --> 01:55:45,970 So beautiful, so wise. 1706 01:55:46,470 --> 01:55:47,870 All truth being relative. 1707 01:55:48,970 --> 01:55:50,270 It was true. 1708 01:55:51,970 --> 01:55:54,270 Beautiful, wise, perfect! 1709 01:55:54,470 --> 01:55:56,070 There's a real mother talking. 1710 01:55:56,370 --> 01:55:58,270 I want a child! 1711 01:55:59,970 --> 01:56:00,870 On principle? 1712 01:56:01,270 --> 01:56:03,770 I want a child. I want a baby. 1713 01:56:04,270 --> 01:56:06,370 This perfection could not last. 1714 01:56:07,470 --> 01:56:08,970 Not with George. 1715 01:56:10,170 --> 01:56:11,570 Not with George around. 1716 01:56:11,770 --> 01:56:13,170 There, you see, I knew she'd shift. 1717 01:56:13,370 --> 01:56:15,070 - Be still! - Sorry, Mother. 1718 01:56:15,270 --> 01:56:16,670 Can't you be still? 1719 01:56:17,470 --> 01:56:21,870 Not with George. A drowning man takes down those nearest, and he tried. 1720 01:56:22,670 --> 01:56:25,570 And, God, how I fought him! How I fought him! 1721 01:56:25,970 --> 01:56:27,270 The one thing... 1722 01:56:27,670 --> 01:56:30,070 ...I tried to carry unscathed through the... 1723 01:56:31,170 --> 01:56:32,470 ...sewer of our marriage... 1724 01:56:32,970 --> 01:56:36,570 ...through the sick nights and the pathetic, stupid days... 1725 01:56:36,970 --> 01:56:40,270 ...through the derision and the laughter. God, the laughter! 1726 01:56:41,670 --> 01:56:44,270 Through one failure after another. 1727 01:56:44,670 --> 01:56:48,470 Each attempt more numbing, more sickening than the one before. 1728 01:56:49,370 --> 01:56:52,670 The one thing, the one person I tried to protect... 1729 01:56:53,370 --> 01:56:57,770 ...to raise above the mire of this vile, crushing marriage... 1730 01:56:58,670 --> 01:57:02,670 ...the one light in all this hopeless darkness! Our son! 1731 01:57:02,870 --> 01:57:03,670 Stop it! 1732 01:57:08,270 --> 01:57:09,770 Why, don't you like it? 1733 01:57:10,170 --> 01:57:11,470 You can't do this. 1734 01:57:11,670 --> 01:57:12,470 Who says? 1735 01:57:12,470 --> 01:57:14,870 - I say! - Tell us why, baby. 1736 01:57:15,870 --> 01:57:17,270 Is this game over? 1737 01:57:19,870 --> 01:57:21,770 Oh, no! Not by a long shot. 1738 01:57:22,870 --> 01:57:25,670 I've got a surprise for you. It's about sonny-Jim. 1739 01:57:27,670 --> 01:57:29,170 I'm running this show! 1740 01:57:30,170 --> 01:57:31,170 Sweetheart... 1741 01:57:31,870 --> 01:57:34,670 ...I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you. 1742 01:57:34,870 --> 01:57:37,170 For both of us, I mean. Some rather sad news. 1743 01:57:38,170 --> 01:57:39,670 What is this? 1744 01:57:39,870 --> 01:57:43,870 Martha, while you were busy, while the two of you were busy... 1745 01:57:44,170 --> 01:57:46,170 ...I don't know where, but you were somewhere... 1746 01:57:46,670 --> 01:57:48,570 ...while you were busy for awhile... 1747 01:57:49,370 --> 01:57:52,070 ...Missy and I were having a little talk. 1748 01:57:52,270 --> 01:57:54,370 You know, a chaw and a talk. 1749 01:57:54,570 --> 01:57:56,270 And the doorbell rang. 1750 01:57:56,470 --> 01:57:57,470 Chimed. 1751 01:58:04,070 --> 01:58:05,370 It's hard for me to tell you. 1752 01:58:07,070 --> 01:58:08,270 Please don't! 1753 01:58:08,570 --> 01:58:09,570 Tell me! 1754 01:58:10,570 --> 01:58:14,570 It was good old Western Union, some little boy about seventy. 1755 01:58:15,570 --> 01:58:16,470 Crazy Billy? 1756 01:58:16,870 --> 01:58:18,370 That's right. Crazy Billy. 1757 01:58:19,070 --> 01:58:21,570 And he had a telegram and it was for us. 1758 01:58:23,570 --> 01:58:24,670 I have to tell you about it. 1759 01:58:26,270 --> 01:58:30,570 Why did they bring it? Why didn't they telephone it? 1760 01:58:31,070 --> 01:58:35,670 There are some telegrams you have to deliver, Martha. Some you cannot phone. 1761 01:58:37,070 --> 01:58:38,370 What do you mean? 1762 01:58:41,070 --> 01:58:42,770 I can hardly bring myself to say it. 1763 01:58:43,770 --> 01:58:44,870 You want to do it? 1764 01:58:50,570 --> 01:58:55,070 Well, Martha, I'm afraid our boy isn't coming home for his birthday. 1765 01:58:55,970 --> 01:58:57,370 Of course he is! 1766 01:58:58,270 --> 01:58:59,870 Of course he is! I say he is! 1767 01:59:00,270 --> 01:59:01,070 He can't. 1768 01:59:05,470 --> 01:59:06,670 Our son... 1769 01:59:07,770 --> 01:59:08,770 ...is... 1770 01:59:10,370 --> 01:59:11,170 ...dead. 1771 01:59:12,770 --> 01:59:15,470 He was killed late in the afternoon... 1772 01:59:16,170 --> 01:59:18,370 ...on a country road with his learner's permit. 1773 01:59:18,570 --> 01:59:21,070 He swerved to avoid a porcupine and drove... 1774 01:59:21,470 --> 01:59:22,570 You can't do that! 1775 01:59:23,670 --> 01:59:24,970 ...into a large tree. 1776 01:59:26,070 --> 01:59:27,570 You cannot do that! 1777 01:59:29,270 --> 01:59:30,770 I thought you should know. 1778 01:59:32,570 --> 01:59:34,270 You cannot do that! 1779 01:59:34,570 --> 01:59:37,470 You can't decide these things for yourself! 1780 01:59:38,070 --> 01:59:39,970 I will not let you do that! 1781 01:59:40,270 --> 01:59:41,970 Have to leave around noon, I suppose. 1782 01:59:42,270 --> 01:59:44,270 I won't let you decide these things. 1783 01:59:44,470 --> 01:59:47,770 There are matters of identification, arrangements to be made. 1784 01:59:48,170 --> 01:59:50,270 You can't do this! I won't let you! 1785 01:59:50,970 --> 01:59:53,770 - Get your hands off me! - I haven't done anything! 1786 01:59:54,170 --> 01:59:56,470 Now you listen to me. Our son is dead! 1787 01:59:56,670 --> 01:59:58,270 Can you get that through your head? 1788 01:59:59,270 --> 02:00:03,670 Listen carefully. We got a telegram. There was a car accident and he's dead! 1789 02:00:03,970 --> 02:00:06,670 Poof! Just like that! Now how do you like it? 1790 02:00:10,770 --> 02:00:12,770 Let her go. She'll be all right. 1791 02:00:23,970 --> 02:00:26,370 He is not dead. 1792 02:00:28,870 --> 02:00:29,870 He is dead. 1793 02:00:35,170 --> 02:00:37,470 You cannot decide. 1794 02:00:38,470 --> 02:00:39,970 He hasn't decided anything. 1795 02:00:40,370 --> 02:00:43,470 It's not his doing. He doesn't have the power. 1796 02:00:43,870 --> 02:00:48,170 That's right. I'm no god. I have no power over life and death, do I? 1797 02:00:50,070 --> 02:00:52,170 You can't kill him. 1798 02:00:52,570 --> 02:00:55,070 You can't let him die! 1799 02:00:59,970 --> 02:01:01,370 There was a telegram. 1800 02:01:05,070 --> 02:01:08,370 Show it to me! Show me that telegram! 1801 02:01:13,370 --> 02:01:14,370 I ate it. 1802 02:01:15,670 --> 02:01:17,870 What did you just say to me? 1803 02:01:18,970 --> 02:01:21,570 I ate it. 1804 02:01:24,870 --> 02:01:26,270 Good for you, Martha. 1805 02:01:26,870 --> 02:01:29,770 You make a joke at a time like this? 1806 02:01:29,970 --> 02:01:31,370 Did I not eat the telegram? 1807 02:01:31,570 --> 02:01:34,370 You ate it. I watched you and you ate it all down. 1808 02:01:34,770 --> 02:01:35,770 Like a good boy. 1809 02:01:37,270 --> 02:01:39,170 You won't get away with this. 1810 02:01:41,370 --> 02:01:43,770 You know the rules, for God's sake! 1811 02:01:45,070 --> 02:01:46,570 What are you talking about? 1812 02:01:46,870 --> 02:01:48,270 I can kill him if I want to. 1813 02:01:48,570 --> 02:01:49,670 He is our child. 1814 02:01:49,870 --> 02:01:53,170 - You bore him. A good delivery. - He is our child. 1815 02:01:53,370 --> 02:01:54,570 And I've killed him. 1816 02:01:56,970 --> 02:01:59,470 Oh my God, I think I understand this. 1817 02:01:59,970 --> 02:02:00,870 Do you? 1818 02:02:01,670 --> 02:02:04,970 - Oh my God, I think I understand this. - Good for you. 1819 02:02:09,670 --> 02:02:12,870 You've no right. You've no right at all. 1820 02:02:13,070 --> 02:02:17,570 I have the right, we never spoke of it. I could kill him any time I wanted. 1821 02:02:17,770 --> 02:02:19,470 Why? 1822 02:02:19,770 --> 02:02:20,970 You broke our rule, Martha. 1823 02:02:21,270 --> 02:02:24,770 You mentioned him to somebody else. 1824 02:02:25,070 --> 02:02:26,970 - I did not. - Yes, you did. 1825 02:02:30,470 --> 02:02:32,470 To me, you mentioned him to me. 1826 02:02:35,670 --> 02:02:36,770 I forget. 1827 02:02:38,170 --> 02:02:42,070 Sometimes when it's late night and everybody's talking... 1828 02:02:42,470 --> 02:02:44,470 ...I forget and I want to mention him. 1829 02:02:44,770 --> 02:02:47,470 But I hold on. I hold on. 1830 02:02:48,870 --> 02:02:51,470 I've wanted to so often. 1831 02:02:52,470 --> 02:02:54,470 But, George, you've pushed it. 1832 02:02:54,770 --> 02:02:57,970 There was no need, there was no need for this! 1833 02:02:59,670 --> 02:03:01,470 I mentioned him, all right? 1834 02:03:02,770 --> 02:03:05,370 But you didn't have to push it over the edge. 1835 02:03:06,170 --> 02:03:08,170 You didn't have to kill him. 1836 02:03:16,170 --> 02:03:19,670 You didn't have to have him die. 1837 02:03:25,370 --> 02:03:27,970 That wasn't needed. 1838 02:03:57,670 --> 02:03:59,170 It's dawn. 1839 02:04:00,770 --> 02:04:02,670 I think the party's over. 1840 02:04:08,570 --> 02:04:10,270 You couldn't have any? 1841 02:04:12,970 --> 02:04:14,170 We couldn't. 1842 02:04:19,070 --> 02:04:21,870 Home to bed, children. It's way past your bedtime. 1843 02:04:32,870 --> 02:04:34,270 You two go now. 1844 02:04:48,570 --> 02:04:50,470 - I'd like to... - Goodnight. 1845 02:05:17,570 --> 02:05:18,970 You want anything? 1846 02:05:20,270 --> 02:05:21,770 No. Nothing. 1847 02:05:27,570 --> 02:05:28,970 Time for bed. 1848 02:05:35,670 --> 02:05:36,670 Tired? 1849 02:05:37,070 --> 02:05:38,070 Yes. 1850 02:05:39,370 --> 02:05:40,370 I am. 1851 02:05:49,770 --> 02:05:51,370 Sunday tomorrow. 1852 02:05:53,770 --> 02:05:54,970 All day. 1853 02:06:32,570 --> 02:06:34,570 Did you have to? 1854 02:06:36,670 --> 02:06:37,670 Yes. 1855 02:06:42,570 --> 02:06:43,870 You had to? 1856 02:06:50,570 --> 02:06:51,670 I don't know. 1857 02:06:55,170 --> 02:06:57,370 - It was time. - Was it? 1858 02:07:08,770 --> 02:07:10,170 I'm cold. 1859 02:07:12,770 --> 02:07:13,770 It's late. 1860 02:07:26,370 --> 02:07:27,770 It will be better. 1861 02:07:31,170 --> 02:07:32,670 I don't know. 1862 02:07:33,770 --> 02:07:35,470 It will be. Maybe. 1863 02:07:37,970 --> 02:07:39,770 I'm not sure. 1864 02:07:48,570 --> 02:07:49,770 Just us? 1865 02:07:54,270 --> 02:07:55,970 - You don't suppose maybe... - No. 1866 02:08:09,970 --> 02:08:11,670 - You all right? - Yes. 1867 02:08:17,470 --> 02:08:18,470 No. 1868 02:08:23,670 --> 02:08:27,070 Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf? 1869 02:08:29,470 --> 02:08:30,770 I am, George. 1870 02:08:34,470 --> 02:08:35,770 I am, George. 1871 02:08:37,770 --> 02:08:38,870 I am. 141834