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>> TOSH.O IS INTENDED FOR MATURE
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AUDIENCES.
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THEY DISCOURAGE ANYONE FROM
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ATTEMPTING THEM.
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ENJOY.
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* * *
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[APPLAUSE]
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THAT IS GOING TO HURT THEIR
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ZAGAT RATINGS, PROBABLY DOWN TO
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23.
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TOSH, THE ONLY REAL TV.
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TONIGHT WE ARE CELEBRATING THE
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END OF BLACK HISTORY MONTH.
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NOT HAPPY IT IS ENDING.
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WE ARE NOT ONLY GOING TO
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ENTERTAIN YOU, BUT EDUCATE YOU.
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I AM WEARING ALEXANDER MCQUEEN.
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NO OTHER DESIGNER HAS DONE FOR
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AFRICAN-AMERICANS, THE BAD
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BREAKDANCER GETS A REMEMBER
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REDEMPTION.
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IS IT RACIST GETS A RETURN.
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ALL RIGHT.
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LET'S GET BACK TO THAT ASS, ASS,
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ASS, ASS, STOP.
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NOW MAKE THAT MOTHER -- HAMMER
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TIME.
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CALL ME CRAZY, BUT I REALLY LIKE
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THE OM BEE YENS OF THIS PLACE,
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THEY EVEN WEAR THEIR G STRINGS
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SAGGY.
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IT SAYS IT RIGHT THERE, NO
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SHIRT, NO SHOES, NOT SOLID
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PUDDING, NO DIGTY, NO SERVICE.
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[LAUGHTER].
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I AM SURE THEY'LL LEAVE A NICE
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TIP TO MAKE UP FOR IT.
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DID YOU KNOW L.P. RAY INVENTED
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THE DUST PAN IN 1897.
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HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
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AWE!
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OH.
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>> ALL RIGHT.
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NOW WOULD YOU PASS ME THE ORANGE
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JUICE, PLEASE.
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DRIPPING PROTEIN INTO EACH
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OTHER'S MOUTH IS WHAT BEING IN A
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FRAT IS ALL ABOUT.
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GO SEE RED TAILS, DID YOU SEE
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IT?
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THEN SHUT UP.
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BY A SLAVE NAMED NANCY GREEN WAS
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ABLE TO PURCHASE THEY ARE
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FREEDOM.
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THE PERSON THAT DOES THE CLOSED
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CAPTIONING FOR THIS SHOW IS
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ABOUT TO EXPLODE.
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>> YOU DONE NOTHING BUT
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AEROPOSTALE.
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GO CHANGE YOUR OUTFIT.
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IT AIN'T NOTHING.
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YOU GOT MY COUSIN.
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SHE STOLE, HOW MUCH YOU NEED?
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>> LONG BEACH'S DEBATE TEAM IS
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LOOKING STRONG.
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AT LEAST THE PARENTS DON'T HAVE
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TO WORRY ABOUT A COLLEGE FUND.
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OBAMA'S DAUGHTERS ARE WELL
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SPOKEN.
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APPARENTLY THEY DISLIKE THE
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CLOTHING COMPANY AEROPOSTALE.
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KNOW I HAPPEN TO BE A HUGE
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AEROPOSTALE FAN.
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>> OH NO YOU BITCHES DIDN'T.
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I HAVE BEEN WEARING AEROPOSTALE
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FOR A WHILE.
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>> WHO IS READY FOR ANOTHER
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FACT?
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TV'S FIRST INTERNATIONAL FACT
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THE FIRST KISS WAS BETWEEN
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WILLIAM SHATNER AND THAT BLACK
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CHICK.
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BLACK DON'T CRACK.
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DAD FROM FAMILY MATTERS WANTS
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YOU TO STAB THEM IN THE THROAT
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WITH AN EPI-PEN.
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BEFORE AMOS BECAME FAMOUS FOR
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HIS COOKIES, HE WAS A TALENT
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AGENT.
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THIS PROVES KANE WEST.
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I HOPE THAT HEART BREAK DROPS
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SOON.
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YOU CAN'T DO THAT WITH A WHITE
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KID'S HEART BEAT.
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THE TIMING IS ALL OFF.
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1701 RAYMOND T. JAZZ INVENTED
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MUSIC.
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[LAUGHTER].
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WHO KNEW THE SIDEWALK HAD BRING
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YOUR SON TO WORK DAY?
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ALL RIGHT YOU CAN SKIP YOUR
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COURT DATE, I AM PRETTY CERTAIN
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YOU ARE THE FATHER.
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[LAUGHTER].
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FOR THE RECORD NOT EVERY
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AFRICAN-AMERICAN CAN PICK UP AN
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INSTRUMENT AND START PLAYING.
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* * *
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I STAND CORRECTED.
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[LAUGHTER].
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I ONCE SAW A MEXICAN FAMILY DO
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SOMETHING SIMILAR IN THE GARDEN
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SECTION OF LOWES.
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[LAUGHTER].
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HEY, DID YOU KNOW IN THE EARLY
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80S, ANITA HILL ONCE FOUND A
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PUBIC HAIR ON HER SODA CAN?
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>> YOU REALLY ARE, SO AM I.
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>> MAN THEIR HAND SHAKES ARE
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GETTING MORE AND MORE
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COMPLICATED.
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LET'S WATCH SOME GOOD OLE
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BLACK-ON-BLACK VIOLENCE ON THIS
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WEEK'S BREAK DOWN.
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ALL RIGHT.
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THIS IS IN HOT-LANTA, WHICH IS
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HIP HOP'S NASHVILLE.
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LOOKS LIKE THIS GUY IN THE
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ORANGE DID NOT ENJOY HIS TAN
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KWER RAY SHONS BLI AND HE EAT
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TRYING TO GET IN THE CAR TO PICK
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UP HIS DAUGHTER.
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HE MUST BE A MEMBER OF NADD.
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YOU COULD TAKE HIS KEYS AWAY.
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IT IS NOT LIKE A CAB WOULD EVER
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TOP TO PICK THEM UP.
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IT COSTS MORE THAN A DUI?
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REINSTRUCTIVE DENTAL SURGERY.
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I SWEAR TO GOD I LOVE YOU IS THE
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BEST WAY TO PAY TRIBUTE TO BOBBY
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AND WHITNEY'S RELATIONSHIP.
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HE KEEPS FORGETEDING TO SAY NO
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HOMO.
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I AM SURE IF YOU WEREN'T
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CRUSHING HIS WINDPIPE HE WOULD
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SAY I LOVE YOU BACK.
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WE ARE NOT GOING TO WORRY ABOUT
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THE FACT THAT NO ONE EVER PICKED
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UP HIS DAUGHTER AND FOR THAT WE
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THANK YOU FOR THAT.
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WE COULDN'T DECIDE IF THIS
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SHOULD BE THE BLACK CLIP OR THE
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DICK OF THE WEEK, WE COMPROMISED
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AND MADE IT THE BLACK DICK OF
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THE WEEK.
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HAVE A CLUE, YOU ARE NOT GOING
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TO BE THE GREAT BREAKDANCER YOU
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THINK YOU ARE.
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YOU ARE GOING TO DESTROY YOUR
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BODY BEFORE YOU GET UP INTO THE
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LITTLE ASIANS LEVEL.
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>> LITTLE ASIANS, SEEMS
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REDUNDA
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REDUNDANT.
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THAT B-BUOY IS ALEX.
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I HEARD BREAKDANCER IS THE MOST
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IMPORTANT FOR AFRICAN-AMERICANS
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NEXT TO DECORATING PUBLIC
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PROPERTY INTO SPRAY PAINT.
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IT IS GYMNASTIC FOR PEOPLE WHO
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CAN'T AFFORD PROPER TRAINING.
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I REFUSE TO LAY MY BODY ON THE
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DISGUSTING FLOOR.
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THIS SHIRT COST $900.
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YEAH, HIGH FASHIONED.
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I KNOW TO LOCK MY CAR DOOR WHEN
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EVER PEOPLE ARE DOING IT.
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I AM FROM FLORIDA YOU KNOW I CAN
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TOOT SI ROLL.
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I HAVE NEVER KRIP WALKED.
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I GREW UP IN A GOOD SED.
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MINORITIES ARE BETTER AT
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BREAKDANCER.
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THERE ARE FEWER PARENTS TO
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SQUASH THEIR PASSION.
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WHITES ARE NOT THE BEST AT THIS
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ONE PARTICULAR ACTIVITY.
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WE CONTROL THE WORLD ECONOMY.
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I AM OKAY FOR LETTING ANOTHER
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RACE HAVE KRUMPING.
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MICHAEL J. FOX DID LEAVE
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TELEVISION TO PURSUE TELEVISION
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FULL TIME.
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ALEX STILL THINKS HE CAN DANCE.
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HE PLAYS CRAWLING WITH LITTLE
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ASIANS IN THIS WEEK'S WEB
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REDEMPTION.
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>> DANIEL, YOUR BOYFRIEND IS
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HERE.
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>> COME IN, HAVE A SEAT.
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MAYBE I CAN GET YOU SOMETHING.
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MAYBE A WATCH.
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>> YOU'LL NEVER BE AS FUNNY AS
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THOSE LITTLE JEWS.
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>> I WILL THEN I WILL SHOVE IT
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IN YOUR -- FACE.
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HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DANCING?
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>> YEAH.
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I TRIED FOOTBALL, MY DAD PUSHED
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ME INTO PLAYING BASKETBALL.
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>> VERY FEW DADS PUSH THEIR BOYS
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INTO B-BOYING.
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>> A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE HIT ME
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UP ON YOUTUBE AND SAID SHE IS A
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RACIST, BITCH.
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IN THE VIDEO SHE IS WORRIED
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ABOUT MY HEALTH BECAUSE I KEEP
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HURTING MYSELF.
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>> THEN SHE THROUGH AN ENTIRE
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RACE OF PEOPLE THROUGH THE BUS.
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WHEN MY PARENTS SAW IT WASN'T A
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FAD, A THING TO GET GIRLS.
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>> IT IS STILL JUST TO GET
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GIRLS, RIGHT?
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MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE IS FOR
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WOMEN.
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I GOT INTO COMEDY FOR GIRLS.
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>> THE QUICKEST WAY TO A GIRL IS
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HER FUNNY BONE.
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>> IT IS NOT TRUE, IT IS MONEY.
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>> I AM IN A CREW.
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>> DID YOU GET BEAT IN OR SEXED
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00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:47,203
IN.
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>> WHAT RACE IS THE BEST
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DANCERS?
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00:12:50,733 --> 00:12:52,403
>> KOREA AND JAPAN.
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>> SMEAR NUMBERS GAME.
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SO MANY OF THOSE LITTLE
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BASTARDS.
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WHEN YOU ARE AT A NIGHTCLUB, HOW
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QUICK BEFORE YOU TAKE OVER?
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>> POST UP AGAINST THE WALL,
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WATCH PEOPLE.
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WHEN YOU SEE SOMEONE ELSE, I
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COULD SMACK HIM.
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YOU JUMP UP AND PROVE YOU ARE
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BETTER.
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>> I POST UP AND BE THE CREEPY
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GUY.
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WHENEVER YOU ARE MAKING LOVE,
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HAVE YOU SPUN OVER ON THEM?
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>> IF YOU ARE A B-BOW YOU CAN
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WANT.
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>> WOULD YOU DATE JAY-LO?
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>> YES.
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>> I WOULDN'T>> WHY?
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>> FIRST OF ALL SHE IS
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DISGUSTING.
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>> TELL ME THREE NICE THINGS
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THAT AREN'T RACIST ABOUT ASIANS?
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>> I LOVE ASIAN FOOD.
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>> I WATCH -- MARSHAL ARTS.
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00:13:58,167 --> 00:14:03,327
>> DO YOU THINK IT IS COOL THAT
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THEY PEE PEE IN OUR COKE?
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00:14:07,233 --> 00:14:08,903
>> NO.
266
00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:11,430
>> I HAVE FLOWN YOUR MOTHER OUT
267
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:11,733
HERE.
268
00:14:11,733 --> 00:14:18,173
YOUR MOM AND A GROUP OF 25 PAID
269
00:14:18,167 --> 00:14:18,497
EXTRAS.
270
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:19,970
ARE YOU READY?
271
00:14:19,967 --> 00:14:21,097
>> YES.
272
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:24,230
>> MOM, ARE YOU READY NOT TO SAY
273
00:14:24,233 --> 00:14:27,733
ANYTHING RACIST FOR THE NEXT 2
274
00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:28,103
MINUTES?
275
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:28,430
>> SURE.
276
00:14:28,433 --> 00:14:38,403
* * *
277
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:44,730
[APPLAUSE].
278
00:14:44,733 --> 00:14:45,133
>> THANKS.
279
00:14:45,133 --> 00:14:45,873
WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE LITTLE
280
00:14:45,867 --> 00:14:46,397
ASIANS DOING HERE?
281
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:46,800
[LAUGHTER].
282
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:49,830
>> DANCE BATTLE.
283
00:14:49,833 --> 00:14:56,703
[LAUGHTER
284
00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:57,100
[LAUGHTER].
285
00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:59,700
>> TURNS OUT YOUR MOM WAS SPOT
286
00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:00,070
ON.
287
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:05,797
* * *
288
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,470
>> DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS
289
00:15:08,467 --> 00:15:08,827
WATCHING.
290
00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:09,603
EVERYONE IS WATCHING THAT ASIAN
291
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:18,430
CREW.
292
00:15:18,433 --> 00:15:21,533
* * *
293
00:15:21,533 --> 00:15:21,933
NICE.
294
00:15:21,933 --> 00:15:23,973
THERE IS NO WAY YOU LOST THIS.
295
00:15:23,967 --> 00:15:29,597
[APPLAUSE].
296
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:32,700
>> DON'T FEEL BAD, YOU'LL NEVER
297
00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:35,070
BE AS GOOD AS THOSE GANG
298
00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:35,397
MEMBERS.
299
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:38,070
[APPLAUSE].
300
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:43,567
STOP CLAPPING, TIME FOR ANOTHER
301
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:43,867
FACT.
302
00:15:43,867 --> 00:15:47,427
LONNIE G. JOHNSON INVENTED THE
303
00:15:47,433 --> 00:15:50,673
SUPER SOAKER TOY, THE NO. 1
304
00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:56,567
SELLING TOY IN AMERICA IN 1991.
305
00:15:56,567 --> 00:15:59,327
GREAT NEWS REGARDING KEVIN
306
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:13,733
EVERETT, HE MOVES ARMS AND LEGS
307
00:16:13,733 --> 00:16:15,103
>> NOW IT IS TIME FOR IS IT
308
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:18,400
RACIST?
309
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,430
>> TIME FOR A SPECIAL BLACK
310
00:16:20,433 --> 00:16:24,273
HISTORY MONTH OF IS IT RACIST?
311
00:16:24,267 --> 00:16:28,167
YOU DECIDE IF THIS CLIP IS
312
00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:28,497
RACIST?
313
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:29,270
THIS SEGMENT HAS NEVER BEEN MORE
314
00:16:29,267 --> 00:16:29,627
IMPORTANT.
315
00:16:29,633 --> 00:16:46,673
[LAUGHTER].
316
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:49,467
CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN, THERE IS
317
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:52,167
NOTHING RACIST ABOUT SOMEONE
318
00:16:52,167 --> 00:16:52,697
ENJOYING FRUIT.
319
00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:53,870
HOWEVER, WHEN SOMEONE'S EATING
320
00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:56,427
IT THAT AGGRESSIVELY, YOU MIGHT
321
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:59,703
NOT WANT A BUNCH OF OLD WHITE
322
00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:07,730
WOMEN CHEERING HER ON LIKE THEY
323
00:17:07,733 --> 00:17:08,403
HAVE MONEY RIDING ON HER.
324
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:09,170
SO YES, I BELIEVE THAT WAS A TAD
325
00:17:09,167 --> 00:17:09,497
RACIST.
326
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:13,500
I WAS RECENTLY IN AN EATING
327
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:13,830
CONTEST.
328
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:22,733
I AM CONFIDENT MY RACE GAVE ME A
329
00:17:22,733 --> 00:17:26,203
COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE.
330
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:32,170
>> SON.
331
00:17:32,167 --> 00:17:32,827
[LAUGHTER].
332
00:17:32,833 --> 00:17:37,503
THE TRICK TO WINNING THE
333
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,500
CONTEST, YOU HAVE TO DIP THEM IN
334
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:42,400
WATER BEFORE YOU EAT THEM.
335
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,930
ONLY TWO WHITE PEOPLE HAVE
336
00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:48,833
CAUGHT SINGLE CELL ANEMIA.
337
00:17:48,833 --> 00:17:51,573
ONE IS MICHAEL RAPAPORT.
338
00:17:51,567 --> 00:18:00,367
THIS WEEK'S WINNER WINNER
339
00:18:00,367 --> 00:18:01,167
CHICKEN DINNER COMES FROM WAVEZ
340
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:01,467
CLUB.
341
00:18:01,467 --> 00:18:02,567
>> GUESS WHOSE FACEBOOK I AM IN
342
00:18:02,567 --> 00:18:04,667
VEE JONES?
343
00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:07,827
>> VEE JONES.
344
00:18:07,833 --> 00:18:18,403
>> VEE JONES.
345
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,130
VEE JONES.
346
00:18:19,133 --> 00:18:20,703
ANY NEW WHAT THE.
347
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,600
FOR THE RECORD VEE JONES IS A
348
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,130
LARGE WHITE WOMAN.
349
00:18:24,133 --> 00:18:27,873
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
350
00:18:27,867 --> 00:18:38,297
COMIC REMIX!
351
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:39,070
[APPLAUSE] WHAT IS UP BROTHERS
352
00:18:39,067 --> 00:18:40,627
AND SISTERS?
353
00:18:40,633 --> 00:18:43,073
DID YOU KNOW ON FEBRUARY 22ND,
354
00:18:43,067 --> 00:18:44,467
2012, DWYANE WADE SCORED 30
355
00:18:44,467 --> 00:18:48,227
POINTS AND 10 ASSISTS AGAINST
356
00:18:48,233 --> 00:18:49,633
THE SACRAMENTO KINGS WHICH IS
357
00:18:49,633 --> 00:18:50,073
PRETTY GOOD.
358
00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:55,327
I DISCOVERED MCDONALDS HAS A
359
00:18:55,333 --> 00:18:56,433
WEBSITE EXCLUSIVELY FOR ITS
360
00:18:56,433 --> 00:18:59,873
BLACK CUSTOMERS.
361
00:18:59,867 --> 00:19:06,897
YEA!
362
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:07,630
THE ADDRESS IS 365 BLACK.COM.
363
00:19:07,633 --> 00:19:10,933
MCDONALDS HAS SEGREGATED
364
00:19:10,933 --> 00:19:12,873
WEBSITES, COME ON, EVERYONE
365
00:19:12,867 --> 00:19:17,867
KNOWS THE BLACK MCDONALDS IS
366
00:19:17,867 --> 00:19:18,597
MCDOWELLS.
367
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:24,200
I AM CONFIDENT THAT POPEYES ONLY
368
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:24,700
HAS ONE WEBSITE.
369
00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:28,800
WHAT YOU DO WITH THE INFORMATION
370
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,200
IS UP TO YOU.
371
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:34,370
IF A COMPANY HAS FORWARD
372
00:19:34,367 --> 00:19:36,327
THINKING AS MCDONALDS HAS TWO
373
00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:46,203
WEBSITES THEN SO SHOULD I.
374
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:46,630
WWW.NBA.COM.
375
00:19:46,633 --> 00:19:49,803
>> HEY, GUYS IS IT SAFE TO EAT
376
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,770
OUT OF A BOX WITH FIRECRACKERS?
377
00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:56,067
>> STAND BACK IT IS GOING TO
378
00:19:56,067 --> 00:20:01,827
BLOW.
379
00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:04,333
>> DWYANE WADE WAS ONLY
380
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:05,633
RECRUITED BY 3 COLLEGE
381
00:20:05,633 --> 00:20:09,003
BASKETBALLS PROGRAMS, MARQUETTE,
382
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:13,970
ILLINOIS STATE AND DEPAUL.
383
00:20:13,967 --> 00:20:16,697
TICKETS ARE ON SALE TO SEE ME IN
384
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:20,330
VEGAS, WE HAD A LOT OF FUN
385
00:20:20,333 --> 00:20:23,173
TODAY, STEREOTYPES ARE NOT
386
00:20:23,167 --> 00:20:24,727
ALWAYS TRUE.
387
00:20:24,733 --> 00:20:25,603
HERE ARE BRAVE AFRICAN-AMERICANS
388
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:26,570
NOT AFRAID TO GO AGAINST THE
389
00:20:26,567 --> 00:20:27,467
GRAIN.
390
00:20:27,467 --> 00:20:40,427
* * *
391
00:20:40,433 --> 00:20:43,833
>> I DO NOT LIKE HIM, NOR DO I
392
00:20:43,833 --> 00:20:50,533
RESPECT HIM.
393
00:20:50,533 --> 00:20:54,403
>> I THINK I GOT A LITTLE -->>
394
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,330
WE HAVE COME A LONG WAY.
395
00:20:57,333 --> 00:20:59,633
DWYANE WADE HAS 18 POST SEASON
396
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,303
CAREER DOUBLE, DOUBLES.
397
00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:02,700
ALL RIGHT, THAT IS IT FOR BLACK
398
00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:03,770
HISTORY.
399
00:21:03,767 --> 00:21:07,497
GET READY FOR THE NEXT 11 MONTHS
400
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:11,400
WHEN WE CELEBRATE WHITE HISTORY.
24682
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