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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:11,667 [students chattering] 2 00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:13,130 [audience groans] 3 00:00:13,167 --> 00:00:16,167 [cheers and applause] 4 00:00:18,833 --> 00:00:21,233 - WELCOME TO TOSH.0! 5 00:00:21,267 --> 00:00:22,727 [cheering continues] 6 00:00:22,767 --> 00:00:25,097 WOW! 7 00:00:25,133 --> 00:00:27,303 SHE IS REALLY UP THERE. 8 00:00:27,333 --> 00:00:28,933 THE HEAVIER GIRL NOT SO MUCH. 9 00:00:28,967 --> 00:00:30,497 HEH HEH! 10 00:00:30,533 --> 00:00:34,373 FRESHMAN 15 HAS ITS ADVANTAGES. 11 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,700 YOU CAN ONLY ASK KIDS TO SIT DOWN SO MANY TIMES, 12 00:00:36,733 --> 00:00:39,473 THEN YOU HAVE TO HIT A SPEED BUMP DOING 50. 13 00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:40,870 LITTLE KNOWN FACT. 14 00:00:40,900 --> 00:00:43,270 THAT'S WHY ROSA PARKS DIDN'T SIT IN THE BACK. 15 00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:45,970 POTHOLES. 16 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,500 POTHOLES. 17 00:00:48,533 --> 00:00:49,803 WE HAVE GREAT SHOW TODAY. 18 00:00:49,833 --> 00:00:52,403 THE HOME SHOPPING LADDER GUY GETS A WEB REDEMPTION. 19 00:00:52,433 --> 00:00:55,603 WE GIVE THE PIZZA ROLL KID HIS TOUGHEST CHALLENGE YET. 20 00:00:55,633 --> 00:00:59,033 I CONSIDER TAKING THIS GUY ON IN ARM WRESTLING. 21 00:00:59,067 --> 00:01:01,327 AND BE SURE TO STAY TUNED FOR THE WHOLE SHOW, 22 00:01:01,367 --> 00:01:03,427 BECAUSE WE HAVE A SEASON-ENDING CLIFFHANGER 23 00:01:03,467 --> 00:01:05,697 THAT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND. 24 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:07,503 LET'S START WITH A LITTLE ROAD KILL. 25 00:01:07,533 --> 00:01:10,473 [women hooting] 26 00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:12,070 [women scream] 27 00:01:12,067 --> 00:01:13,697 [chuckles] 28 00:01:13,733 --> 00:01:14,903 IT COULD'VE BEEN WORSE. 29 00:01:14,933 --> 00:01:17,633 THEY COULD'VE BEEN HOT. 30 00:01:17,667 --> 00:01:20,427 GUESS WE'RE HEADING BACK TO THE HOME DEPOT 31 00:01:20,467 --> 00:01:21,867 TO GET TWO NEW ONES. 32 00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:25,670 [laughter] UN-UH. I MEAN MEXICANS. 33 00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:29,070 THAT REALLY DOESN'T SOFTEN IT. 34 00:01:29,067 --> 00:01:31,067 ALL RIGHT, NOW OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND SAY, "UGH!" 35 00:01:31,100 --> 00:01:32,830 - [speaking foreign language] 36 00:01:32,867 --> 00:01:36,467 [audience groaning] 37 00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:39,430 YEAH. HE GOES [bleep] ON WOMEN BY 10:00 A.M. 38 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,797 THAN YOU DO ALL DAY. 39 00:01:41,833 --> 00:01:45,433 HEY, I'D LET HIM GO [bleep] ON ME JUST FOR THE STORY. 40 00:01:45,467 --> 00:01:48,727 HE CAN TIE A CHERRY TREE IN A KNOT. 41 00:01:48,767 --> 00:01:51,627 YOU KNOW HIS PENIS MUST HAVE TONGUE ENVY. 42 00:01:51,667 --> 00:01:54,927 HIS DOCTOR PROBABLY USES A 2x4 AS A TONGUE DEPRESSOR. 43 00:01:54,967 --> 00:01:58,267 YOU GET IT? HE'S GOT A BIG [bleep] TONGUE. 44 00:01:58,300 --> 00:01:59,900 UGH. 45 00:02:00,067 --> 00:02:03,497 HERE'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T GIVE A HOOT. 46 00:02:03,533 --> 00:02:07,373 YEAH, WHEN IN ROMANIA. 47 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:10,670 YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS A RIVER OF [bleep]? 48 00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:12,330 WEEZER'S NEW ALBUM. 49 00:02:12,367 --> 00:02:16,327 [laughter and applause] 50 00:02:16,367 --> 00:02:19,097 TRUST ME, THERE IS NOTHING MORE RELAXING 51 00:02:19,133 --> 00:02:22,533 THAN TUBING DOWN THE MISS-[bleep] RIVER. 52 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:28,330 AHH! 53 00:02:28,367 --> 00:02:30,067 [opens can] 54 00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,697 IT'S OKAY. 55 00:02:31,733 --> 00:02:34,533 IT WASN'T OPENED YET. 56 00:02:34,567 --> 00:02:37,167 PROBABLY SHOULD'VE RECYCLED. 57 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,900 THERE'S MY CONDOM. 58 00:02:39,933 --> 00:02:42,273 THAT IS THE ONLY POSITION YOU SHOULD BE IN 59 00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:45,200 IN JEAN SHORTS. 60 00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:46,803 ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S NEXT? 61 00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:58,200 A HOT TUB, SEA-DOO AND A STRIPPER POLE? 62 00:02:58,233 --> 00:03:03,073 THIS IS THE HOLY TRINITY OF HAPPINESS. 63 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:06,830 AND I WAS HOPING THIS WOULD END IN AN ACCIDENT TOO... 64 00:03:06,867 --> 00:03:08,527 BUT SADLY, NO. 65 00:03:08,567 --> 00:03:09,967 MAYBE THIS NEXT ONE WILL BE BETTER. 66 00:03:10,067 --> 00:03:11,927 - READY. 67 00:03:11,967 --> 00:03:14,067 - YES. TAZER. 68 00:03:14,067 --> 00:03:19,727 WE'RE OFF TO A GOOD START. DO IT. 69 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,197 [chuckling] 70 00:03:21,233 --> 00:03:23,433 THAT WAS SHOCKING. 71 00:03:23,467 --> 00:03:25,197 NOW LET'S SEE HOW MANY FUNNY COMMENTS 72 00:03:25,233 --> 00:03:27,603 WE CAN POST IN 20 SECONDS. 73 00:03:27,633 --> 00:03:29,933 DON'T FEEL BAD. CHINA'S TOO CROWDED, ANYWAY. 74 00:03:29,967 --> 00:03:31,597 audience: OH! 75 00:03:31,633 --> 00:03:35,073 - GREAT. HE'S GONNA SLEEP RIGHT THROUGH HIS KARATE LESSON. 76 00:03:35,067 --> 00:03:36,627 MORE EFFECTIVE THAN RITALIN. 77 00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:38,567 IF YOU DO THAT WHILE YOU MASTURBATE, 78 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,470 IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE AWESOME. 79 00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:42,700 IT IS. 80 00:03:42,733 --> 00:03:44,333 YOU HAVE DISHONORED YOURSELF. [drumbeat] 81 00:03:44,367 --> 00:03:47,067 AAH! KUNG PAO! 82 00:03:49,233 --> 00:03:52,233 KIND OF RACIST AT THE END THERE. 83 00:03:52,267 --> 00:03:54,067 ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE POLAR BEAR CLUB? 84 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,267 THAT'S WHERE OLD MEN JUMP INTO FREEZING WATER. 85 00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:58,470 WELL, HERE'S HOW THEY HAZE THEIR NEW MEMBERS. 86 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:01,570 - [speaking foreign language] 87 00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:08,900 - THAT IS NOT HOW JESUS DID IT. 88 00:04:08,933 --> 00:04:12,673 OR MAYBE IT IS, AND IT'S JUST A BOOK OF EXAGGERATIONS. 89 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,570 AND I THOUGHT I'D FEED THIS WHOLE CROWD WITH ONE FISH. 90 00:04:19,967 --> 00:04:21,427 IF I HAD ONE WISH, IT WOULD BE 91 00:04:21,467 --> 00:04:23,267 TO GET BETTER CAMERAS IN RUSSIA. 92 00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,270 I FEEL THAT PLACE COULD BE BEAUTIFUL. 93 00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:29,170 BUT THE FOOTAGE I'VE SEEN-- VERY DEPRESSING. 94 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,130 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A TALENT SHOW 95 00:04:31,167 --> 00:04:32,727 WHERE SOMEONE WAS ACTUALLY TALENTED? 96 00:04:32,767 --> 00:04:34,427 IT IS AWFUL. 97 00:04:34,467 --> 00:04:37,427 [playing classical music] 98 00:04:37,467 --> 00:04:38,827 * 99 00:04:38,867 --> 00:04:42,497 LOOK AT THAT VIRGIN GO. 100 00:04:47,533 --> 00:04:50,203 CONGRATS. YOU'RE THE BEST ACCORDION PLAYER IN THE WORLD. 101 00:04:50,233 --> 00:04:52,703 HAVE FUN BEING THAT. 102 00:04:52,733 --> 00:04:54,773 WHAT'S IT LIKE TO HAVE MASTERED SOMETHING 103 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,530 NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO EVER? 104 00:04:57,567 --> 00:04:59,127 I WAS ACTUALLY IN THAT TALENT SHOW. 105 00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:02,897 [plays note] 106 00:05:02,933 --> 00:05:06,473 AND THAT WAS BEYONCE'S SINGLE LADIES. 107 00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:08,670 I SHOULD'VE GONE FIRST. 108 00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,700 I TELL YOU WHAT I SHOULD'VE DONE. 109 00:05:10,733 --> 00:05:14,803 I SHOULD'VE GONE WITH A RIHANNA SONG. 110 00:05:14,833 --> 00:05:17,273 - WHOA! 111 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:19,600 [people cheering] 112 00:05:19,633 --> 00:05:22,673 [woman shouting] 113 00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:24,870 [audience groans] 114 00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:27,300 OH! WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL. 115 00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:28,733 WOMEN CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT. 116 00:05:28,767 --> 00:05:30,467 [laughter and applause] 117 00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:32,730 EVEN IN DUBAI, UGH. 118 00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:36,467 I GUESS SHE SHOULD BE GLAD SHE DIDN'T STOP ON A LANDMINE. 119 00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:38,800 NOW LET'S RESET THE PINS AND TAKE ANOTHER LOOK 120 00:05:38,833 --> 00:05:40,773 AT THIS 7-10 SPLIT TO THE HEAD 121 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,200 IN THIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN. 122 00:05:42,233 --> 00:05:46,273 [cheers and applause] 123 00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:49,330 - YOU CAN TELL THIS ISN'T IN AMERICA 124 00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:53,067 BECAUSE THE WOMAN BOWLING ISN'T 80 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT. 125 00:05:53,067 --> 00:05:55,927 NOPE, IT'S THE LEAGUE NIGHT AT ARABIAN STRIKES, 126 00:05:55,967 --> 00:05:57,867 AND PRINCESS JASMINE HERE IS READY TO GO 127 00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:00,330 SUICIDE BOMBER ON SOME PINS. 128 00:06:00,367 --> 00:06:01,667 BIG NIGHT. 129 00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:04,670 SHE GOT TO WEAR WHAT AMERICANS CALL BLUE JEANS. 130 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,400 - WHOA! 131 00:06:08,433 --> 00:06:11,073 - NOTICE--PINK BALL, TERRIBLE TECHNIQUE. 132 00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:14,130 PETE WEBER WOULD NOT APPROVE. 133 00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:17,597 [laughter and applause] 134 00:06:17,633 --> 00:06:21,503 YOU DON'T KNOW WHO PETE WEBER IS? 135 00:06:21,533 --> 00:06:24,073 SUCK IT. 136 00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:25,527 HEY, AND LOOK AT THAT. SHE'S OVER THE LINE. 137 00:06:25,567 --> 00:06:27,497 THAT'S A FOOT FAULT, CHEATER! 138 00:06:27,533 --> 00:06:29,203 CHEATERS NEVER WIN. 139 00:06:29,233 --> 00:06:30,533 EXCEPT IN BASEBALL. 140 00:06:30,567 --> 00:06:31,827 [audience groans] 141 00:06:31,867 --> 00:06:35,597 [men cheering] 142 00:06:35,633 --> 00:06:39,703 PRAISE ALLAH! A STRIKE! 143 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,933 THAT'S THE MOST A WOMAN HAS EVER ACCOMPLISHED 144 00:06:41,967 --> 00:06:43,197 IN THAT COUNTRY. 145 00:06:43,233 --> 00:06:44,233 audience: OH! 146 00:06:44,267 --> 00:06:45,497 - AND CHECK OUT THIS GUY 147 00:06:45,533 --> 00:06:49,273 TRYING TO SNEAK A TITTY CUP ON THE HIGH HUG. 148 00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:51,070 MANY HAVE HAD A HAND CHOPPED OFF 149 00:06:51,067 --> 00:06:53,367 FOR LESS THAN THAT, MY FRIEND. 150 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,100 [woman screaming] 151 00:06:55,133 --> 00:06:56,433 ALL RIGHT, CALM DOWN. 152 00:06:56,467 --> 00:06:58,697 IT'S NOT LIKE YOU FOUND OSAMA. 153 00:06:58,733 --> 00:07:01,873 YOU ROLLED A BALL. AND WHERE ARE YOU HEADED? 154 00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:06,400 YOU DON'T HAVE TO RETRIEVE YOUR OWN BALL. 155 00:07:06,433 --> 00:07:10,873 AND SHE TOPPLES JUST LIKE THE STATUE OF SADDAM. 156 00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:13,870 BOWLING SHOES ARE NOT MADE FOR TAKING VICTORY LAPS. 157 00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:16,930 LET'S SEE IT AGAIN. 158 00:07:16,967 --> 00:07:19,097 OOH! YOU HIT YOUR HEAD, 159 00:07:19,133 --> 00:07:21,433 BUT IT'S BETTER THAN BEING LOCKED IN A SEX DUNGEON. 160 00:07:21,467 --> 00:07:23,067 [chuckles] 161 00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:26,967 OR A NON-CONSENSUAL SEX ROOM. 162 00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:30,527 [cheers and applause] 163 00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:32,467 IT'S JUST TOO BAD THAT SHE'LL HAVE TO BE 164 00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:35,070 STONED DEATH FOR DAMAGING THAT LANE. 165 00:07:35,067 --> 00:07:36,927 LUCKY FOR US, WE DON'T LIVE THERE, 166 00:07:36,967 --> 00:07:39,227 BUT AT LEAST SOMEONE DEFIED THE TALIBAN LONG ENOUGH 167 00:07:39,267 --> 00:07:43,127 TO PUT THIS VIDEO ONLINE, AND FOR THAT, WE THANK YOU. 168 00:07:43,167 --> 00:07:46,697 COMING UP, WE GIVE THE HOME SHOPPING GUY A WEB REDEMPTION. 169 00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:50,803 BUT FIRST, HERE'S PROOF THAT A FAT PERSON CAN STRETCH. 170 00:07:50,833 --> 00:07:52,133 THEY JUST CHOOSE NOT TO-- 171 00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:54,367 IN OUR SKATEBOARD TRICK OF THE WEEK. 172 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:57,300 - WATCH IT, WATCH IT. 173 00:07:57,333 --> 00:07:59,503 - OH, [bleep]! 174 00:08:03,867 --> 00:08:05,197 - SAY YOU HAVE A-- YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE TO 175 00:08:05,233 --> 00:08:07,103 GET UP ON THE WALL OR HIGH CEILING, VAULTED CEILING. 176 00:08:07,133 --> 00:08:08,473 HEY, LISTEN, JUST WALK RIGHT UP. 177 00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:10,130 AND I TELL YOU, IT'S VERY SAFE. 178 00:08:10,167 --> 00:08:12,127 IT'S DURABLE. AND IT'S LIGHTWEIGHT. 179 00:08:12,167 --> 00:08:14,097 - OH, YOU'RE SCARING ME. - SO REALLY-- 180 00:08:14,133 --> 00:08:16,073 - WHOA! - NOW IT'S LOCKED IN PLACE. 181 00:08:16,067 --> 00:08:18,727 OKAY? SO REALLY, YOU SEE-- 182 00:08:18,767 --> 00:08:20,697 - OH, GOD! HAROLD, ARE YOU OKAY? 183 00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:22,973 [laughter and applause] 184 00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:25,497 - WASN'T LOCKED. 185 00:08:25,533 --> 00:08:27,303 I HOPE OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY, 186 00:08:27,333 --> 00:08:30,203 BECAUSE HE'S GONNA NEED A RIDE TO THE HOSPITAL. 187 00:08:30,233 --> 00:08:31,803 INFOMERCIALS ARE GREAT. 188 00:08:31,833 --> 00:08:33,273 WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GONNA WATCH AT 3:00 A.M.? 189 00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:35,500 CARSON DALY? 190 00:08:35,533 --> 00:08:37,933 SOMEONE JUST GOT OUT OF THE [bleep] ROOM. 191 00:08:37,967 --> 00:08:41,497 [laughter] 192 00:08:41,533 --> 00:08:44,903 THE WRONG END, THE WRONG END. 193 00:08:44,933 --> 00:08:47,133 MY FAVORITE PART OF INFOMERCIALS? 194 00:08:47,167 --> 00:08:48,767 THE PITCHMEN. 195 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,430 I DON'T CARE THAT THE GUY'S SELLING A SPONGE 196 00:08:50,467 --> 00:08:53,527 SHAPED LIKE A PAPER TOWEL BEAT UP A HOOKER. 197 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:55,227 OR THAT MY LAUNDRY HAS NEVER BEEN CLEANER 198 00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:57,527 THANKS TO A GUY THAT LOVES WHITE POWDER. 199 00:08:57,567 --> 00:09:00,067 [chuckles] AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT OXICLEAN. 200 00:09:00,067 --> 00:09:01,567 R.I.P., BILLY. 201 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,430 I HOPE THEY BURIED YOU IN A SNUGGIE. 202 00:09:04,467 --> 00:09:07,567 WHICH, FOR THE RECORD, IS JUST A BACKWARDS ROBE 203 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:11,530 FOR MORONS WHO DON'T MIND STRIPPING DOWN TO PEE NAKED. 204 00:09:11,567 --> 00:09:13,597 EVERY TIME I SEE AN INFOMERCIAL, 205 00:09:13,633 --> 00:09:16,103 I THINK, "HOW MUCH IS THIS CRAP GONNA COST ME?" 206 00:09:16,133 --> 00:09:18,503 MY GUESS IS $1 MILLION. NO? 207 00:09:18,533 --> 00:09:20,073 IMAGINE MY SHOCK AND SURPRISE 208 00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:22,070 WHEN IT GOES FOR $9.99. 209 00:09:22,067 --> 00:09:23,467 THEN THEY'RE THROWING IN A TON 210 00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:25,770 OF OTHER SLIGHTLY-RELATED ITEMS FOR THE SAME PRICE, 211 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,430 AND SUDDENLY YOU'D BE LOSING MONEY 212 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,497 IF YOU DIDN'T BUY IT. 213 00:09:29,533 --> 00:09:32,773 ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS SET IT AND FORGET IT! 214 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:37,770 NOW I'M RUNNING A GODDAMN BOSTON MARKET IN MY KITCHEN. 215 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,500 THAT'S WHY WE PAID HAROLD MCCOO 216 00:09:39,533 --> 00:09:42,073 THREE EASY PAYMENTS OF $206, 217 00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:43,700 PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING, 218 00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:45,603 TO COME TO HOLLYWOOD FOR THIS WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION. 219 00:09:45,633 --> 00:09:47,633 [cheers and applause] 220 00:09:51,367 --> 00:09:52,397 - HEY, DANIEL. 221 00:09:52,433 --> 00:09:54,173 - HEY, HAROLD. - HOW ARE YOU? 222 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:55,900 - I'M DOING GOOD. JUST DOING THE WINDOWS. 223 00:09:55,933 --> 00:09:57,073 - I SEE THAT. 224 00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:59,997 - [bleep]. I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN. 225 00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,273 WAS IT LOCKED? 226 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:04,530 - NO. IT WASN'T LOCKED. 227 00:10:04,567 --> 00:10:05,867 - THE FLEX-O-LADDER. 228 00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:07,530 I'D LIKE TO THINK THAT YOU OWN THIS COMPANY NOW. 229 00:10:07,567 --> 00:10:09,867 - [laughs] - DID YOU SUE 'EM? 230 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,570 - THE THING IS, IT WASN'T LOCKED. 231 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,830 - I KNOW. WE ALL KNOW. 232 00:10:14,867 --> 00:10:16,367 - SO THAT'S NOT THE COMPANY'S FAULT. 233 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,200 - HOW LONG AFTER THAT CLIP DID YOU QUIT? 234 00:10:19,233 --> 00:10:20,203 - I DIDN'T QUIT. 235 00:10:20,233 --> 00:10:21,873 THEY SHUT THE WHOLE NETWORK DOWN. 236 00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:23,230 - BECAUSE OF THAT INCIDENT? 237 00:10:23,267 --> 00:10:25,497 - NO. NOT BECAUSE-- 238 00:10:25,533 --> 00:10:28,103 - I WOULD HAVE LOVED FOR YOU TO BRING THE WHOLE EMPIRE DOWN 239 00:10:28,133 --> 00:10:30,373 BECAUSE OF ONE FAULTY LADDER. 240 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,130 ARE YOU MAD THAT IT POPPED UP ON YOUTUBE? 241 00:10:32,167 --> 00:10:34,067 - WHEN I STARTED LOOKING AT SOME OF THE COMMENTS, 242 00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:36,000 THEN I REALLY GOT SICK, 243 00:10:36,033 --> 00:10:39,273 'CAUSE SOME OF THESE PEOPLE IT'S AS IF THEY HAVE NO LIFE. 244 00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:41,130 SO THEY GO TO YOUTUBE, LOOK AT STUFF. 245 00:10:41,167 --> 00:10:43,027 - WELCOME TO THE INTERNET. 246 00:10:43,067 --> 00:10:44,367 - AND IT'S IRONIC THAT ALL THE THINGS 247 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,600 I'VE DONE IN THE INDUSTRY, YOU KNOW, 248 00:10:46,633 --> 00:10:48,433 LEGITIMATE HARD-CORE NEWS, 249 00:10:48,467 --> 00:10:51,027 DOING REPORTING, AND ANCHORING, AND TALK SHOWS, 250 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,697 INTERNATIONAL PRINT WORK, YOU KNOW, B.E.T. NETWORK. 251 00:10:53,733 --> 00:10:55,603 - I'M FAMILIAR? - OH, YEAH? 252 00:10:55,633 --> 00:10:57,773 - YES. THEY LET ME WATCH. 253 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,670 - OF ALL THAT, THE ONE THING 254 00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:04,470 THAT NOW IS SPLATTERED ALL OVER THE INTERNET 255 00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:07,600 IS THIS LITTLE INCIDENT WITH THIS LADDER COLLAPSING. 256 00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:09,603 - WELL, A CLOSE SECOND, IN MY BOOK, 257 00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:11,873 WOULD BE SOME OF THAT INTERNATIONAL PRINT WORK. 258 00:11:11,900 --> 00:11:13,800 [laughter] 259 00:11:13,833 --> 00:11:15,403 I'D LIKE TO GIVE YOU A FEW PRODUCTS, 260 00:11:15,433 --> 00:11:17,073 GET YOU BACK UP ON THAT HORSE-- 261 00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:18,230 LADDER-- 262 00:11:18,267 --> 00:11:20,067 AND SEE HOW WELL YOU CAN SELL THEM. 263 00:11:20,067 --> 00:11:21,667 AND IF YOU DO GET HURT THIS TIME, 264 00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:25,300 I PROMISE YOU WE WILL SEND YOU A FREE LADDER. 265 00:11:25,333 --> 00:11:26,473 NO, YOU CAN SUE. 266 00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:28,300 YOU COULD SUE IF YOU GOT HURT TODAY, 267 00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:29,633 THAT'S FOR SURE. - YEAH. 268 00:11:29,667 --> 00:11:31,097 - THAT IS ON TAPE. 269 00:11:31,133 --> 00:11:32,633 OKAY, THE WORLD WANTS TO KNOW, 270 00:11:32,667 --> 00:11:35,097 ARE YOU READY TO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT? 271 00:11:35,133 --> 00:11:38,173 - I'M READY. ARE YOU GUYS READY? 272 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,230 [cheers and applause] 273 00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,367 - WHAT DO YOU GOT FOR US? 274 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,070 - THE SHAMWOW, 275 00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:44,730 THE MOST ABSORBENT TOWEL EVER. 276 00:11:44,767 --> 00:11:45,927 CHECK IT OUT. 277 00:11:45,967 --> 00:11:47,197 - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. - OH, YES. 278 00:11:47,233 --> 00:11:48,533 - OH! 279 00:11:48,567 --> 00:11:49,867 - YOU'LL SAY "WOW" EVERY TIME... 280 00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:51,930 - WOW! - WITH THE SHAMWOW. 281 00:11:51,967 --> 00:11:53,797 BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. - OH, MAN. 282 00:11:53,833 --> 00:11:55,903 - WHO DOESN'T WANT TIGHT, TONED, SIX-PACK ABS? 283 00:11:55,933 --> 00:11:57,973 - I DO! - WITH THE AB LOUNGE, 284 00:11:58,067 --> 00:11:59,727 THEY'VE NEVER BEEN EASIER TO GET. 285 00:11:59,767 --> 00:12:01,567 - I CAN FEEL IT WORKING! 286 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,800 - BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. 287 00:12:03,833 --> 00:12:06,103 - YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! 288 00:12:06,133 --> 00:12:08,073 - I'M NOT. IT'S THE GINSU KNIFE. 289 00:12:08,067 --> 00:12:11,627 BY FAR THE BEST, THE SHARPEST KNIFE 290 00:12:11,667 --> 00:12:13,767 YOU'LL EVER OWN. 291 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,130 - THAT WENT THROUGH LIKE BUTTER. 292 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,467 - BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. 293 00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:18,830 - [bleep]! 294 00:12:18,867 --> 00:12:21,227 - THE POWER JUICER, THE ULTIMATE JUICING MACHINE. 295 00:12:21,267 --> 00:12:25,067 BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! 296 00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:26,400 - MORE? 297 00:12:26,433 --> 00:12:28,073 - THE SNUGGIE. 298 00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:30,170 - IT'S SO SOFT! 299 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:31,330 - BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. 300 00:12:31,367 --> 00:12:33,627 - OH, I WILL [bleep] HIT YOU. 301 00:12:33,667 --> 00:12:35,667 - THE FLEX-O-LADDER. - THE FLEX-O-LADDER? 302 00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:37,800 ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE READY FOR THE FLEX-O-LADDER? 303 00:12:37,833 --> 00:12:38,973 - I'M SURE. 304 00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:40,797 - ARE YOU SURE IT'S LOCKED? 305 00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:42,303 - IT'S LOCKED. 306 00:12:42,333 --> 00:12:45,203 - WELL, THEN WHY ELSE WOULD YOU GO OVER 307 00:12:45,233 --> 00:12:47,233 A BUNCH OF PUPPIES AND BABIES 308 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,427 UNLESS YOU WERE COMPLETELY SURE? 309 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,400 - SEE, NOW IT'S LOCKED IN PLACE, OKAY? 310 00:13:15,067 --> 00:13:16,897 - THE FLEX-O-LADDER! 311 00:13:16,933 --> 00:13:18,503 THE FLEX-O-LADDER! 312 00:13:18,533 --> 00:13:20,073 GOOD JOB. 313 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,800 ALL FOR $19.95. 314 00:13:22,833 --> 00:13:25,073 BABIES AND PUPPIES NOT INCLUDED. 315 00:13:25,067 --> 00:13:26,497 OH, MY GOODNESS. 316 00:13:26,533 --> 00:13:28,073 FUNNY BEHIND-THE-SCENES STORY. 317 00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:31,827 WE HAD SO MANY MORE BABIES ON THE FIRST TAKE. 318 00:13:31,867 --> 00:13:34,567 ALL RIGHT, THAT MAKES 16 WEB REDEMPTIONS THIS SEASON, 319 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,100 AND IT HASN'T BEEN EASY ON ME 320 00:13:36,133 --> 00:13:38,073 MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY, OR SPIRITUALLY. 321 00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:39,430 THEY TAKE A LOT OUT OF ME. 322 00:13:39,467 --> 00:13:41,727 SO LET'S TAKE A LOOK BACK AT HOW I PERSONALLY 323 00:13:41,767 --> 00:13:43,227 AND SINGLE-HANDEDLY, 324 00:13:43,267 --> 00:13:45,967 WITHOUT THE HELP OF ANYBODY ELSE ON THIS SHOW, 325 00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:50,297 CHANGED THE LIVES OF SO MANY POOR WRETCHED SOULS. 326 00:13:50,333 --> 00:13:52,073 HERE'S TO GREAT WEB REDEMPTIONS. 327 00:13:52,067 --> 00:13:53,427 THE WORLD WANTS TO KNOW... 328 00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:55,567 ARE YOU READY TO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT? 329 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,070 - I THINK SO. - I THINK SO. 330 00:13:57,067 --> 00:13:58,227 - YEAH. - YES. 331 00:13:58,267 --> 00:13:59,527 - I'M READY. - YEAH. 332 00:13:59,567 --> 00:14:01,227 - I'M READY. - OH, I'M DEFINITELY READY. 333 00:14:01,267 --> 00:14:02,567 - I'M READY. - THINK SO. 334 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,400 - LET'S DO IT. - HELL YEAH, I'M READY TO GO. 335 00:14:04,433 --> 00:14:05,433 - LET'S GO. - YES. 336 00:14:05,467 --> 00:14:06,927 - I'M READY. - I'M READY. 337 00:14:06,967 --> 00:14:08,497 ARE YOU GUYS READY? 338 00:14:08,533 --> 00:14:11,173 - DO NOT [bleep] THIS UP. 339 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,070 [audience groans] 340 00:14:41,467 --> 00:14:43,767 EVERYONE DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE. 341 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,070 THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL. 342 00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:46,197 GOD, THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL. 343 00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:48,703 MEMORIES. 344 00:14:48,733 --> 00:14:51,073 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A FUN NEW WAY 345 00:14:51,067 --> 00:14:52,627 TO DO WATERBOARDING. 346 00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:55,627 BUT BEFORE WE GO, IT'S TIME FOR THE PRANK OF THE WEEK. 347 00:14:55,667 --> 00:14:58,367 - GO. 348 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,870 [audience oohs] 349 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,870 male announcer: AND THAT WAS THE PRANK OF THE WEEK 350 00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:04,870 BROUGHT TO YOU BY HTC. 351 00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:06,300 YOU DON'T NEED TO GET A PHONE. 352 00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:07,773 YOU NEED A PHONE THAT GETS YOU. 353 00:15:10,333 --> 00:15:12,333 - I'M GETTING READY TO EAT 40 PIZZA ROLLS. 354 00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,600 THAT WAS A GOOD ONE, GUYS. 355 00:15:30,633 --> 00:15:32,273 IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER CHALLENGE YOU WANT ME TO TRY, 356 00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:33,270 HIT ME UP. 357 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:34,630 I'LL SEE IF I CAN DO IT. 358 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,897 DAMN, THAT WAS ROUGH. 359 00:15:36,933 --> 00:15:39,503 - YEAH, IT WAS ROUGH TO WATCH TOO, JUSTIN. 360 00:15:39,533 --> 00:15:41,403 SO YOU'RE LOOKING FOR CHALLENGES, HUH? 361 00:15:41,433 --> 00:15:43,333 EVER HEAR OF CHICKEN IN A CAN? 362 00:15:47,867 --> 00:15:49,867 IT COMES FULLY COOKED. KINDA GROSS, RIGHT? 363 00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:51,370 WELL, THERE'S YOUR CHALLENGE. 364 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,730 I MAILED HIM SIX CANS. BON APPETIT. 365 00:15:53,767 --> 00:15:55,727 - HEY, DANIEL, I REVIEWED YOUR CHALLENGE. 366 00:15:55,767 --> 00:15:57,227 SAD TO SAY, I'M GONNA DOMINATE 367 00:15:57,267 --> 00:15:59,067 THIS CHICKEN IN A CAN FOR YOU. 368 00:15:59,067 --> 00:16:01,127 I'D LIKE SOME MEAT ON THIS. 369 00:16:01,167 --> 00:16:02,667 ALL RIGHT, THERE WE GO. 370 00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:06,570 [audience groaning] 371 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,100 I'M LUCKY. 372 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,470 [audience groaning] 373 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,100 [belches] 374 00:16:14,133 --> 00:16:15,903 TWO CHICKENS IN THE CAN. 375 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,803 ALL RIGHT, THIS IS JUSTIN. 376 00:16:17,833 --> 00:16:20,073 CAMERAMAN WAS TREVOR. AND WE ARE OUT. 377 00:16:20,067 --> 00:16:21,797 - OH, THANK YOU, JUSTIN. 378 00:16:21,833 --> 00:16:26,373 MAN, YOU WERE GREAT IN SEVEN. 379 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:29,630 JUSTIN IS NOT THE ONLY HUGE THING ON THE INTERNET. 380 00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:31,297 THERE'S ALSO WATERBOARDING. 381 00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:33,233 PEOPLE ALWAYS DEBATE, IS IT TORTURE? 382 00:16:33,267 --> 00:16:34,897 I DON'T KNOW, BUT I FIGURED OUT A WAY 383 00:16:34,933 --> 00:16:36,503 TO MAKE IT A LOT MORE REFRESHING-- 384 00:16:36,533 --> 00:16:39,773 BY REPLACING WATER WITH LEMONADE. 385 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,400 I TESTED IT OUT ON MY GOOD FRIEND, 386 00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:44,133 COMEDIAN TODD GLASS, AND I HOPE WE CAN ALL AGREE 387 00:16:44,167 --> 00:16:46,767 THAT LEMONADE BOARDING, WHILE DELIGHTFULLY TANGY, 388 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,700 IS ALSO AN EFFECTIVE WAY TO EXTRACT INFORMATION. 389 00:16:49,733 --> 00:16:51,803 ARE CODE WORD, OKAY? 390 00:16:51,833 --> 00:16:53,203 - OH. 391 00:16:55,667 --> 00:16:58,927 OH, NO. [laughs] 392 00:16:58,967 --> 00:17:01,427 - IF YOU NEED TO STOP, YELL THAT WORD. 393 00:17:09,133 --> 00:17:10,333 - [bleep, bleep]! 394 00:17:10,367 --> 00:17:11,867 OH, MY GOD. 395 00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:12,930 - [laughs] IS IT AWFUL? 396 00:17:12,967 --> 00:17:15,227 - MY EYES ARE BURNING 397 00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:16,527 FROM THE [bleep] LEMONADE 398 00:17:16,567 --> 00:17:18,497 BEFORE THE WATERBOARDING BOTHERED ME. 399 00:17:18,533 --> 00:17:21,533 HOLY [bleep]. 400 00:17:21,567 --> 00:17:23,767 THAT'S ALL I COULD DO? 401 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,070 - IF YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE MORE... 402 00:17:26,067 --> 00:17:28,927 NO, KNOCK IT OFF. NO. 403 00:17:28,967 --> 00:17:31,197 IF YOU THINK YOU CAN GUESS OUR SAFE WORD, 404 00:17:31,233 --> 00:17:34,573 FEEL FREE TO TRY AT COMEDYCENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0. 405 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,670 AND WHILE YOU'RE THERE, UPLOAD YOUR OWN VIDEO 406 00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:38,930 FOR A CHANCE TO BE OUR VIEWER VIDEO OF THE WEEK. 407 00:17:38,967 --> 00:17:40,727 THIS WEEK'S WINNER IS BERNICE, 408 00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:42,527 AND SHE'S FROM OAKLAND. 409 00:17:42,567 --> 00:17:44,567 - * SITTING ON A TOILET 410 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:47,300 * SITTING ON A TOILET 411 00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:49,933 * SITTING ON A TOILET 412 00:17:49,967 --> 00:17:52,227 * SITTING ON A TOILET 413 00:17:52,267 --> 00:17:54,627 * SITTING ON A TOILET 414 00:17:54,667 --> 00:17:57,167 * SITTING ON A TOILET 415 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,530 * SITTING ON A TOILET 416 00:17:59,567 --> 00:18:02,067 * SITTING ON A TOILET 417 00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:04,530 * SITTING ON A TOILET 418 00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:06,767 * SITTING ON A TOILET 419 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,070 * SITTING ON A TOILET 420 00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:11,130 * NOW FLUSH 421 00:18:11,167 --> 00:18:13,797 [audience groans] 422 00:18:13,833 --> 00:18:16,273 Daniel and audience: * SITTING ON A TOILET 423 00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:17,600 * SITTING ON A TOILET 424 00:18:17,633 --> 00:18:18,803 - WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 425 00:18:18,833 --> 00:18:20,133 audience: * SITTING ON A TOILET 426 00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:21,767 - WITH STAND-UP STAND-UP WITH WALI COLLINS. 427 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,370 audience: * SITTING ON A TOILET 428 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,500 * SITTING ON A TOILET - OKAY. 429 00:18:27,867 --> 00:18:31,227 [cheers and applause] 430 00:18:31,267 --> 00:18:34,067 - * SITTING ON A TOILET 431 00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:36,567 I'M GONNA REMIX THE [bleep] OUTTA THAT. 432 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,530 [laughter] 433 00:18:38,567 --> 00:18:40,197 FEEL FREE TO SEND US YOUR BEST VERSION. 434 00:18:40,233 --> 00:18:42,203 I DON'T CARE. 435 00:18:42,233 --> 00:18:44,603 ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS KNOW ME AS THE HOST OF TOSH.0, 436 00:18:44,633 --> 00:18:46,203 BUT WHAT YOU MAY NOT KNOW 437 00:18:46,233 --> 00:18:48,533 IS THAT I AM THE CURRENT UNDEFEATED CHAMPION 438 00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:50,797 OF THE COMEDY CENTRAL ARM WRESTLING LEAGUE. 439 00:18:50,833 --> 00:18:52,433 YEAH. DON'T BELIEVE IT? 440 00:18:52,467 --> 00:18:54,527 WHAT IF I TOLD YOU I SPEND HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS 441 00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:58,167 ON MY OWN ARM WRESTLING TABLE? 442 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,500 IT'S ABOUT 150 ACTUALLY. 443 00:19:00,533 --> 00:19:01,903 STILL NOT CONVINCED? 444 00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:05,103 WELL, HERE'S SOME OF MY HIGHLIGHTS, MOTHER[bleep]. 445 00:19:05,133 --> 00:19:09,103 I AM GONNA [bleep] RUIN THIS OLD MAN. 446 00:19:09,133 --> 00:19:12,103 READY? GO. 447 00:19:12,133 --> 00:19:13,903 OH, THERE IT IS. 448 00:19:13,933 --> 00:19:15,803 AHH! 449 00:19:15,833 --> 00:19:17,733 - GO. 450 00:19:17,767 --> 00:19:21,297 - OHH! AHH! 451 00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:23,733 - READY, SET, WRESTLE. 452 00:19:23,767 --> 00:19:26,327 - OH! 453 00:19:26,367 --> 00:19:28,827 - WAH! 454 00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:29,967 - GO. 455 00:19:30,067 --> 00:19:32,867 - OH. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 456 00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,370 - WRESTLE. 457 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,230 - AH! 458 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,073 - WRESTLE. 459 00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:47,767 - AHH! 460 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,100 [cheering] 461 00:19:49,133 --> 00:19:51,133 - WHAT? 462 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,730 - IT IS THE TRIGGER. 463 00:19:57,767 --> 00:19:59,267 THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL IT. 464 00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:00,670 UNH! 465 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,600 YOU'RE NEXT, LINCOLN HAWK. 466 00:20:02,633 --> 00:20:04,603 THAT'S RIGHT, TURN YOUR HAT AROUND ALL YOU WANT. 467 00:20:04,633 --> 00:20:07,573 I'M TAKING YOUR SON AND YOUR CHAMPIONSHIP. 468 00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,067 THANKS FOR WATCHING. 469 00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:12,400 MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER 470 00:20:12,433 --> 00:20:14,103 SO WE CAN LIVE CHAT DURING THE SHOWS. 471 00:20:14,133 --> 00:20:16,173 AND DON'T SEND ME TOO MANY QUESTIONS. 472 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,770 FLYING DUTCHMAN, I'M TAKING TO YOU. 473 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:21,470 I'M NOT ANSWERING YOUR TWEETS BECAUSE YOU'RE A MORON. 474 00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,100 NOW CHECK OUT MY TOUR SCHEDULE 475 00:20:23,133 --> 00:20:24,903 AND MAKE SURE YOU KEEP UP WITH OUR DAILY BLOG 476 00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:27,433 AT COMEDYCENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0. 477 00:20:27,467 --> 00:20:29,327 IT'S BEEN A GREAT SEASON, 478 00:20:29,367 --> 00:20:31,327 AND I'VE MADE A LOT OF GOOD FRIENDS. 479 00:20:31,367 --> 00:20:34,127 UH, THAT GUY THAT SITS NEXT TO THE CAMERA. 480 00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:36,327 THAT LADY THAT COOKS. 481 00:20:36,367 --> 00:20:41,027 UH, I HAVE A WRITER THAT HAS A FAMILY. 482 00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:42,967 THE POINT IS THESE ARE RELATIONSHIPS 483 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,700 THAT I WILL TREASURE FOREVER. 484 00:20:44,733 --> 00:20:46,233 AND NOW IT'S TIME 485 00:20:46,267 --> 00:20:48,567 FOR OUR BIG CLIFFHANGER ENDING. 486 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:49,800 - SARAH, PLEASE. 487 00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:51,773 - NO! I'M SLIPPING, GABE! 488 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:54,300 GABE, DON'T LET ME FALL! NO! - NO! 489 00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:56,473 - HOLD ON, WALKER. 490 00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:58,200 DON'T LET HER GO. 491 00:20:58,233 --> 00:21:00,133 THAT MOVIE IS SO SUSPENSEFUL. 492 00:21:00,167 --> 00:21:01,767 WILL HE BE ABLE TO HOLD ON? 493 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,930 TUNE IN NEXT SEASON TO FIND OUT. 494 00:21:03,967 --> 00:21:05,267 GOOD NIGHT. 495 00:21:05,300 --> 00:21:07,270 [cheers and applause] 496 00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:10,300 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 497 00:21:12,967 --> 00:21:14,327 - BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. 498 00:21:14,367 --> 00:21:16,127 - YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK. 499 00:21:16,167 --> 00:21:17,867 - THROW THAT FOOD PROCESSOR AWAY. 500 00:21:17,900 --> 00:21:19,600 - I WILL. - THE SLAP CHOP... 501 00:21:19,633 --> 00:21:22,533 - I'M GONNA THROW IT AWAY. - GETS IT DONE QUICKER. 502 00:21:22,567 --> 00:21:25,427 - OH, MY GOODNESS! - YES! YES! 503 00:21:25,467 --> 00:21:26,797 - AH! 504 00:21:26,833 --> 00:21:28,803 [yelping] SALSA! 505 00:21:28,833 --> 00:21:31,073 - BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. 506 00:21:31,067 --> 00:21:33,067 - OH, MY GOODNESS. - YES! 507 00:21:33,067 --> 00:21:36,497 - I'M COMING FOR YOU, HONEY. I'M COMING FOR YOU. 508 00:21:36,533 --> 00:21:37,973 [chuckling] 509 00:21:38,067 --> 00:21:40,067 - ELIZABETH. 510 00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:41,570 - WHAT, WEEZIE? - ELIZABETH. 35407

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