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1
00:00:04,308 --> 00:00:09,138
Every family has a good egg
and a bad egg.
2
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:13,269
It can be hard
to tell which is which.
3
00:00:13,274 --> 00:00:16,804
Sometimes, you have to eat both
to find out.
4
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:24,073
Who wants eggs?
Me.
5
00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:26,497
Okay, ladies, today is a day
that will live in infamy.
6
00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:27,984
[ Sighs ]
7
00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:29,864
My older sister, Barbra,
is coming to visit.
8
00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:32,205
Barbra?
Isn't she in jail?
9
00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:33,636
Was in jail.
10
00:00:33,642 --> 00:00:35,212
I didn't know
you had a sister.
11
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:38,129
Only by blood.
I identify as an only child.
12
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,865
Every time my sister
comes to visit,
13
00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:41,735
she makes my life
a nightmare.
14
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:44,607
Well, I, for one,
can't wait to hate her.
15
00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:48,219
Nothing brings women closer
together than a common enemy.
16
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,748
Hey, there,
little sis.
17
00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:56,100
Barbra,
how did you get in here?
18
00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:57,669
I changed
all the locks.
19
00:00:57,666 --> 00:01:00,316
I always carry
my own knob.
20
00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:05,111
Oh, I'm Barbra,
but you can call me Babs.
21
00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:08,758
Both: I'm Debra,
but you can call me Dabs.
22
00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:10,554
Barbra,
why are you here?
23
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:13,508
Why are any of us here,
man?
24
00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:15,078
Other than to love.
25
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,115
That's my chair.
26
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:18,599
You can stand,
right?
27
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,430
Yes.
I love standing.
28
00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:24,298
I don't know if you remember,
but I actually won best stander.
29
00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:25,521
I'll go get
the trophy.
30
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:28,610
Ooh, I think Debby needs
a chill pill.
31
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,130
Am I right?
32
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:32,003
[ Whispers ] This whole place
is bugged.
33
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:35,704
[ Laughs ]
I'm not scared of her.
34
00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:38,404
You know she wet the bed
until she was 43?
35
00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:40,062
Wait,
how old is Debra?
36
00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:43,276
You know, Debra took
a chicken nugget to prom.
37
00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:44,627
[ Laughter ]
38
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:48,586
Both:
Chicken kisser, chicken kisser.
39
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:51,236
Well, did you guys know that
Barbra went to jail for arson?
40
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:56,381
Yeah, Arson was my ex,
and I burned his house down.
41
00:01:56,377 --> 00:01:58,027
Cool.
42
00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,290
Did he die?
Was he nice?
43
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:02,034
Why don't I tell you
all about it
44
00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:07,524
over a hot, steaming mug of beer
and a cup of cold corn?
45
00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:10,258
Uh, they can't. We're actually
really busy eating eggs,
46
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:12,090
and it's gonna
take all day so...
47
00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:13,788
[ Whining ]
Please let us go.
48
00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:15,955
[ Whining ]
We've been so good.
49
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,751
What are you,
their mother?
50
00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:22,096
No.
I'm their neighbor.
51
00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:23,668
Come on, Dabs.
52
00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:29,575
♪♪
53
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:35,554
♪♪
54
00:02:35,546 --> 00:02:36,976
Barbra.
55
00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:40,552
♪♪
56
00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:42,341
Hey!
57
00:02:42,336 --> 00:02:44,686
Hey, everybody,
Barbra's back!
58
00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:47,906
All: Barbra!
59
00:02:47,906 --> 00:02:50,556
Did you miss us,
Barbra?
60
00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:54,441
How could I
not miss that?
61
00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:58,565
Everybody, give a nice,
warm welcome to my new friends,
62
00:02:58,569 --> 00:03:00,879
Debra and Debra.
63
00:03:00,876 --> 00:03:02,486
All: Deb, Deb, Debra!
64
00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:05,786
Oh, play nice, boys.
65
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:08,324
This is
their first rodeo.
66
00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:10,928
Let's get our girls
some shots, eh?
67
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:13,579
What'll it be?
Whiskey, tequila,
68
00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:15,674
rabies, Gardasil?
69
00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:17,153
[ Both gasp ]
70
00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:18,763
Both: Gardasil!
71
00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,289
Stick with me, ladies.
72
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:25,159
The only rule is
there are no rules.
73
00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:27,821
And cash only.
74
00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:29,116
Follow me.
75
00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:33,171
You haven't seen fun
until you've seen darts.
76
00:03:33,169 --> 00:03:36,739
All: Yeah!
77
00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:39,178
Welcome to
the circus.
78
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:43,605
[ Cheering ]
79
00:03:43,614 --> 00:03:50,624
♪♪
80
00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:57,541
♪♪
81
00:03:57,541 --> 00:04:00,281
[ Both vocalizing ]
82
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:03,943
♪ Debra, Debra, Debra,
Debra, Debra ♪
83
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:05,199
Understudies,
it's your lucky day.
84
00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:06,201
You're on in 5.
85
00:04:06,202 --> 00:04:07,942
[ Both gasp ]
86
00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:10,473
Thank you, 5! Thank you, 5!
87
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:13,117
I think it's time I told you
the real reason
88
00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:14,782
why I brought you here.
89
00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:16,466
I want you to be part
of my crew.
90
00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:18,133
But we already
have a crew.
91
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:20,557
We're Debras.
We don't take that lightly.
92
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:26,184
Why be a Debra when
you could be a Barbra?
93
00:04:26,178 --> 00:04:28,568
When you put it like that,
I'm in.
94
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:29,882
Me too.
How do we join?
95
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:32,488
It's easy.
Come with me.
96
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,888
Oh, sorry.
97
00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:44,497
[ Giggles ]
98
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:49,330
And acting.
99
00:04:50,681 --> 00:04:52,731
[ Clears throat ]
100
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:55,117
Okay, ladies,
today is a horrible day.
101
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:58,170
My older sister, Barbra,
is coming to visit.
102
00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:01,337
Ew, Barbara.
She makes me sick.
103
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:03,484
You are objectively
better than her.
104
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:06,127
I want her dead
and in the ground.
105
00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:08,051
Thank you for this
beautiful brunch.
106
00:05:08,046 --> 00:05:12,266
I'm excited to do
whatever you want today.
107
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:15,488
Good.
108
00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,399
Mmm.
109
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,844
Scene.
110
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:22,580
Oh, you were
brilliant back there.
111
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:24,373
I really believed
you were at brunch.
112
00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:27,757
I've been meaning to ask.
Did your boyfriend get his PhD?
113
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,372
This isn't working.
114
00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:30,852
You're just agreeing
with everything that I say.
115
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:33,382
We're just working with
the material you provided.
116
00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:34,986
We are more than happy
to improvise.
117
00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:36,986
Look at this.
I'm a cat.
118
00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:38,428
Oh, my God.
119
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,595
It's not about the script,
which is perfect.
120
00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:42,171
I'm perfect.
121
00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:45,297
It's about the authenticity
of the characters,
122
00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,871
and I realize now
the only people
123
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:51,388
that could pretend to be
my friends are my friends.
124
00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:52,614
You're dismissed.
125
00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:55,443
Oh, this is
actually perfect.
126
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:56,752
I have a big audition
at 4:00.
127
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,177
Oh, I'll drive you.
128
00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,493
Oh, you're the best,
thank you so much.
129
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,270
Can we take the freeway?Yeah, absolutely.
130
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:04,894
I can tell
they're really hurting.
131
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:06,976
They're really good actors,
132
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:11,405
and I'm really good at writing,
directing, and producing.
133
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:14,554
♪♪
134
00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:18,768
[ Laughs ]
135
00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:20,209
I don't understand.
136
00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:22,205
What could a convicted felon
possibly want
137
00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:24,427
from the Lemoncurd
Treasure Museum?
138
00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:25,777
I will tell you.
139
00:06:25,776 --> 00:06:28,736
Your first and final task
is to steal
140
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:32,566
the Lemoncurd
Declaration of Independence.
141
00:06:32,566 --> 00:06:33,996
Steal it?
142
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,442
But it's the most heavily
guarded artifact
143
00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:37,088
in all of Lemoncurd.
144
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:39,272
It's from when Lemoncurd
seceded from the whole world.
145
00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:40,488
Plus, it's illegal.
146
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:41,787
What if we get caught?
147
00:06:41,792 --> 00:06:44,012
Do you want to be
a Barbra or not?
148
00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:53,112
♪♪
149
00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:56,238
Oh, my God.
There it is.
150
00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:57,811
But how are we ever
going to get to it
151
00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,378
without
tripping the alarm?
152
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:04,725
♪♪
153
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,598
What about this?
154
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:15,390
♪♪
155
00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:17,831
Oh. I thought that sign
was a joke.
156
00:07:17,828 --> 00:07:24,878
♪♪
157
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:26,879
Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go!
158
00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:34,761
♪♪
159
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:36,758
-Barbra. Barbra.
-Barbra. Barbra.
160
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,150
Barbra, we did it.
We committed the crime.
161
00:07:39,154 --> 00:07:40,464
Can we be Barbras now?
162
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,900
Nice work, ladies.
163
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,506
[ Sirens wailing ]Wait.
164
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:47,116
Barbra, why are you
running away from the police?
165
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:48,988
Come back.
You're my best friend!
166
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,170
You're under arrest.
167
00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:53,995
No, no,
you're not being nice!
168
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:58,908
Where is she?
Where is Barbra?
169
00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:00,313
She's long gone.
170
00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:02,435
What did she do
with my Debras?
171
00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:04,088
You mean the Barbras.
172
00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:06,222
They're in the slammer.
173
00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:08,884
I knew something like this
would happen.
174
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:11,009
Everything Barbra touches
goes to jail.
175
00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:16,708
[ Shivers ]
176
00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:18,323
I'm freezing.
177
00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:21,463
I'm shivering.
It's so cold.
178
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,677
Jail is hell.
179
00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:25,807
We should probably
just die here.
180
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:29,809
[ Coughs ]
181
00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,693
This is all
Barbra's fault.
182
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:33,765
We should have
never left Debra.
183
00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:35,914
[ Doorbell rings ]You got that right.
184
00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,466
Both: [ Gasp ] Debra!
185
00:08:37,473 --> 00:08:39,343
You came back for us!
186
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:42,004
I had no choice.
Your understudies were horrible.
187
00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:44,129
And brunch wasn't
the same without you.
188
00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:45,482
Let's get you
out of here.
189
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:47,481
How did you
get past the guard?
190
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:49,793
If somebody would have told me
I'd lose my virginity today,
191
00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:52,710
I would have worn
different pants.
192
00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:55,006
Now, let's go get
my backstabbing sister.
193
00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:56,712
I know just where
to find her.
194
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:03,022
Barbra,
stop right there!
195
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,850
It's too late.
196
00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:08,068
I've got the Declaration
and the fastest mode
197
00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:10,989
of transportation known to man
at my disposal.
198
00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:13,065
You'll never catch me.
199
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:15,824
Why do you always come back
and try to ruin my life?
200
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:17,376
Because
you're a control freak
201
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,782
who thinks she's better
than everybody else.
202
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:23,386
And I'm the one thing
you could never control.
203
00:09:23,388 --> 00:09:24,998
Well,
that's where you're wrong.
204
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:26,829
You're under arrest.
Oh?
205
00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:28,387
You better say oink
'cause the pigs are here
206
00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:31,093
to take you to the pen,
you stinky, pink bitch.
207
00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:36,305
How dare you
utter my birth name
208
00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:38,454
in front of
my best friends?
209
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:41,227
Her name is
Stinky Pink Bitch?
210
00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:44,502
No wonder
she smells like shit.
211
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:47,196
Both: She's a stinky pink bitch
who smells like shit.
212
00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:50,545
[ Laughs ]
Take her away!
213
00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:52,106
Forget the pig stuff.
214
00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:53,903
We're taking you to fish jail.
215
00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:55,457
Aaah!
216
00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:59,994
-Whoo! Yeah!
-Yes! Yeah!
217
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:02,990
Now, who wants to eat
the Declaration of Independence?
218
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:04,693
Way ahead of you.
219
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:09,301
Now, that's amore.
220
00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:11,924
[ Laughter ]
221
00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:21,575
♪♪
222
00:10:21,577 --> 00:10:31,017
♪♪
223
00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:40,421
♪♪
15215
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