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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,069 --> 00:00:02,499 Narrator: TONIGHT ON "HOT PACKAGE"... 2 00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:04,636 OUCH! 3 00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:08,042 Beckles: SUCCESSFUL! THE "HOT PACKAGE SUCCESS AWARDS!" 4 00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:09,476 Roark: ONLY OUR CAMERAS WERE THERE 5 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,280 TO GIVE YOU THE EXCLUSIVE INSIDE PEEK. 6 00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:14,383 AAH! Beckles: I SIT DOWN WITH BARBER 7 00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:16,745 AND ALT COMEDY SUPERSTAR TEDDY BOY GREG. 8 00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:17,924 PIZZA! 9 00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:18,921 Roark: PLUS, THEN PLUS... 10 00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,492 Narrator: HOLOGRAM MARK IS BACK, 11 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,061 AND THE BUFF BOYZ HAVE HIM WORKING BETTER THAN EVER. 12 00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:23,990 McGrath: FINALLY WORKING PROPERLY. 13 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:24,864 Man: YEP. 14 00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:25,892 Beckles: AND THEN... 15 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,197 Narrator: THE "HP" SCREEN TEST COMPETITION CONTINUES. 16 00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,071 WHO WILL WIN TONIGHT'S SEMIFINALS? 17 00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:33,300 THIS IS BULLSHIT! 18 00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:36,102 * WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW? 19 00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:37,867 * CAN'T FIND MY WAY 20 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:42,412 Beckles: PLUS, A "SUCCESS AWARD" DUET YOU WON'T FORGET. 21 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:43,383 UGH. 22 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:49,449 Narrator: WHICH MAJOR CELEB TAKES ON THE BIZ PIT? 23 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:50,123 WOW! 24 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:52,851 LET'S GET INSIDE! 25 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,356 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 26 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,218 Narrator: YOU'RE WATCHING "HOT PACKAGE," 27 00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:58,787 THE ONE AND ONLY ENTERTAINMENT NEWS PROGRAM 28 00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:02,196 WITH A HOLOGRAM CO-HOST. 29 00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:04,300 WELCOME BACK, NORTH AMERICA. 30 00:01:04,332 --> 00:01:07,102 I'M DERRICK BECKLES, AND I'M HERE WITH MY MAIN MAN 31 00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,095 HOLOGRAM MARK. 32 00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:09,896 HEY, EVERYONE! Man: YES. 33 00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:10,867 AND NOW IT'S -- 34 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,574 WELL, THE WORLD'S A-BUZZIN' 35 00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:14,906 ABOUT LAST NIGHT'S "HP SUCCESS AWARDS," 36 00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:16,642 INCLUDING YOURS TRULY. 37 00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,877 A LITTLE WORSE FOR THE WEAR, BUT I'LL SOLDIER ON. 38 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,212 LET'S GET STARTED. 39 00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:21,218 SO -- SORRY. AND NOW -- 40 00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:22,719 MY BAD. [ BOTH LAUGH ] 41 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:25,590 WELL, IF LAST WEEKEND'S BOX-OFFICE TALLY 42 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,089 IS ANY INDICATION, 43 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:30,091 SUCCESS AWARD NOMINEE "QUIGLEY" FAILED... 44 00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:31,694 TO LET ANYONE DOWN. 45 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,426 HEY! HEY! HEY! 46 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:40,827 WHOA! 47 00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:41,768 WHOA! 48 00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:46,809 Man: WHOA! 49 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:47,910 [ SKIPPING LAUGHS ] 50 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,541 WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? 51 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,679 THIS IS INCREDIBLE. 52 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:55,084 Greg: COMING UP... 53 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,415 THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. 54 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:58,651 NO ONE WILL KNOW. 55 00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:03,489 I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR GAMES. 56 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:05,264 H-H-HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY GAMES? 57 00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,763 LOOK, EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT 58 00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,704 WHEN YOU FINISH YOUR NEW VIDEO GAME. 59 00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:11,269 THESE GAMES ARE THE BEST WE'VE EVER SEEN. 60 00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:13,169 DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE LIKE THESE? 61 00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:14,301 SEVERAL UNFINISHED ONES. 62 00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:18,936 YOU GOT TO TRUST YOUR FRIENDS. AND WOMEN ARE LIKE DOGS. 63 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,712 JUST SHAKE YOURSELF DRY. 64 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:26,784 AND I GOT TO SAY CUJOS TO ALL THOSE INVOLVED 65 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,224 IN MAKING THIS MOVIE, 66 00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:31,289 FOR ALL THOSE INVOLVED IN WANTING TO LAUGH. 67 00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,649 [ REPEATING LAUGH ] 68 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,987 [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] 69 00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:37,293 Roark: AND NOW... 70 00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:38,785 Narrator: THE RUNDOWN FROM LAST NIGHT'S 71 00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:42,496 8th ANNUAL "HOT PACKAGE SUCCESS AWARDS." 72 00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:51,806 * A PLUS-SIZE, B-SIDE MODEL LIKE YOU * 73 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:52,969 WHOO! 74 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,576 * I NEED A BBW 75 00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:55,378 WHOO! 76 00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,009 * I NEED A BBW, YEAH 77 00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:59,684 * OOH-OOH, OHH 78 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,612 STAY TUNED FOR MORE SUCCESSES. 79 00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:33,454 WHAT A NIGHT IT WAS, AND THAT'S JUST THE START. 80 00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:35,551 IS THAT YOU, DERRICK? 81 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,586 Roark: COMING UP... 82 00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:39,848 IT STEPPED UP THE PARTY, IT WAS BRILLIANT, 83 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,087 AND I ADORED IT. 84 00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:44,061 THE DANCERS WERE UNBELIEVABLE. MATTER OF FACT, 85 00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:47,461 WE SHOULD BRING THEM RIGHT BACK ON AGAIN AND HAVE ANOTHER ONE. 86 00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,525 I THINK IT'S SUPER. 87 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:53,033 I THINK IT WAS FABULOUS. FABULOUS, FABULOUS, FABULOUS. 88 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:56,896 AND NOW DERRICK BECKLES WITH A "ONES ON ONE." 89 00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:58,267 Beckles: HE'S NOT JUST A BARBER. 90 00:03:58,306 --> 00:03:59,966 HE'S ALSO ONE OF L.A.'s TOP ALT COMICS. 91 00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:02,377 OF COURSE, I'M TALKING ABOUT TEDDY BOY GREG. 92 00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:04,650 AND BEFORE WE COULD EVEN START THE INTERVIEW, 93 00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:05,908 HE TOOK A LITTLE OFF HIS TOP. 94 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:08,546 WHEN I WATCH YOUR VIDEOS, I JUST THINK, 95 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,382 "HOW DOES HE GET ALL OF THIS DONE?" 96 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:11,588 WHAT'S YOUR PROCESS? 97 00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:12,819 I JUST FILM STUFF JUST ON A WHIM. 98 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,223 I'LL JUST SAY, "WELL, [BLEEP] IT." 99 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,094 ARE YOU READY FOR THE A-LIST? 100 00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:17,223 WHAT'S THE A-LIST? 101 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,127 BEING A STAR. YEAH, I'M READY. 102 00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,729 I CAN'T WAIT TILL [BLEEP] TMZ 103 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,931 AND ALL THOSE PEOPLE ARE INTERVIEWING ME. 104 00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,903 "TEDDY BOY GREG'S SMOKING A CIGARETTE OUTSIDE 7-ELEVEN. 105 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,673 HE JUST TOLD ME TO SUCK HIS [BLEEP] AGAIN." 106 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:30,571 AND SPEAKING OF HOT, WHAT ABOUT DEGREES? 107 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,174 THIS ONE IDIOT I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH 108 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:33,405 HAD A FULL RIDE TO HARVARD, 109 00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:35,581 AND HE GOES AND GETS A DEGREE IN RELIGION. 110 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,579 LIKE, HE CAN [BLEEP] ABSOLUTELY DO ANYTHING 111 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,411 WITH THAT [BLEEP] DEGREE. 112 00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:40,777 HE COULD'VE JUST DROPPED OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL 113 00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,324 AND WORKED AT McDONALD's AND MADE MORE. 114 00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:43,920 A McDONALD's NEAR, LIKE, A CHURCH. 115 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,091 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 116 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,588 AND I HAD TO ASK, 117 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,920 ARE THERE ANY OTHER TATTOOED-FACED BARBERS IN TOWN? 118 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:51,786 THERE'S ANOTHER BARBER. HIS NAME IS RICHIE THE BARBER. 119 00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:54,185 HE HAS HIS FACE FULLY TATTOOED LIKE ME. 120 00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:55,457 WHAT? 121 00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:57,366 I PUT OUT A VIDEO JUST CALLING HIM OUT, 122 00:04:57,398 --> 00:05:00,598 BUT HE HASN'T RESPONDED BACK TO MY CHALLENGE. 123 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,774 WELL, HE RESPONDED TO MY CHALLENGE 124 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,813 TO BE ON "ONES ON ONE." AND MY FIRST QUESTION... 125 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,269 WHEN YOU GOT YOUR PENIS TATTOOED, 126 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,377 HOW DID THAT FEEL, AND WHAT'S ON IT? 127 00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:11,610 IT HURT LIKE HELL. BUT I DID NUMB IT, THOUGH. 128 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,475 BUT -- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? IT WAS WEIRD. 129 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:16,354 I WAS ALL PILLED OUT, AND... AND IT'S A BARBER POLE. 130 00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:18,324 YOU KNOW, STRIPES AROUND, AND THE HEAD'S YELLOW. 131 00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:20,022 OKAY. TIME TO GET SERIOUS. 132 00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:22,723 DO YOU THINK NICK CANNON'S TALENTED? 133 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,786 YOU GOT ME ON THE SPOT HERE. 134 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,855 AND SPEAKING OF BEING ON THE SPOT, 135 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:29,704 IS HE GOING TO FIGHT TEDDY BOY GREG? 136 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,400 I'M NOT -- I'M NOT A FIGHTER, I'M A LOVER. 137 00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,302 [ HORN HONKS ] 138 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,802 GOT ME. BACK TO FUN. 139 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:37,004 DO ME A FAVOR -- JUGGLE SOME KNIVES IN FRONT OF MY FACE. 140 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,707 ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. 141 00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,309 HANGING OUT WITH THIS BARBERSHOP DUET 142 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,480 REMINDED ME OF WHAT IT WAS LIKE 143 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:43,339 TO LIVE ON THE RAZOR'S EDGE. 144 00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:44,747 AND I WANT TO THANK THEM BOTH 145 00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:49,318 FOR GIVING ME SOME SERIOUS FACE TIME. 146 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,849 Narrator: STAY TUNED FOR... 147 00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:56,893 AS WE ALL KNOW, SUCCESS COMES IN MANY SHAPES AND SIZES, 148 00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:59,164 BUT WHEN WE SIZE UP THE SHAPE OF SUCCESS, 149 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:03,532 IT SHOULD BE WITH THE INTENT TO SIZABLY RESHAPE SUCCESS ITSELF. 150 00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:05,004 SO WITH THAT IN MIND, 151 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:08,572 LET'S GET TO THIS WEEK'S "HP" RISING STAR FINALIST. 152 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,770 Beckles: I DUG THROUGH MY MARVELOUS 153 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:15,175 HOLLYWOOD MOVIE COLLECTION TO PAIR THE PERFECT SCENE 154 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,108 WITH THE PERFECT ACTOR... 155 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:18,013 I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! 156 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,275 ...TO MAKE THE BEST DECISION POSSIBLE. 157 00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:23,053 TONIGHT, ROD IVES AND LUCY MORGENSTERN 158 00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:26,053 BATTLE-AX FOR A CHANCE TO WIN $40,000. 159 00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:29,016 AND A WARNING FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKE WINNERS -- 160 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,256 THERE'S GONNA BE A LOSER. 161 00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:33,030 LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE CLIP -- CLIP -- CLIP. 162 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,360 Narrator: AND NOW THE ORIGINAL CLASSIC SCENE. 163 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,755 YOU OKAY? OH, I'M SO EMBARRASSED. 164 00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:38,397 HERE, LET ME HELP. THANK YOU. 165 00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:41,872 I GUESS I SHOULD'VE ASKED MY WIFE TO COME ALONG AND HELP. 166 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:45,212 THIS IS MY VAN. 167 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,308 HERE, I'LL JUST PUT THESE IN HERE FOR YOU. 168 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:48,380 THANK YOU. 169 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,738 [ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC ] 170 00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:52,448 GET IN. 171 00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,447 [ STUN GUN ZAPS ] 172 00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:02,258 WHAT WAS...THAT? 173 00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:06,459 THIS IS A MYOTRON, AND TH IS A BADGE. 174 00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:09,004 AND Y ARE UNDER ARREST. 175 00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:10,159 WOW! 176 00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:13,967 Narrator: AND NOW THE RISING STAR SCREEN TEST. 177 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:15,401 YOU OKAY? 178 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,665 I'M SO EMBARRASSED. 179 00:07:16,704 --> 00:07:19,244 HERE, LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT. 180 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:22,512 I GUESS I SHOULD'VE ASKED MY WIFE FOR HELP. 181 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,683 H-HERE, LET ME JUST -- LET ME JUST HELP -- 182 00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:25,982 JUST PUT IT IN THERE. 183 00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:27,683 LET ME JUST... 184 00:07:27,715 --> 00:07:29,145 THIS IS MY VAN. 185 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,449 HERE, LET ME JUST PUT IT IN THERE FOR YOU. 186 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,761 GET IN! 187 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,589 BZZT! BZZZZZZZZZZZZ! 188 00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:40,085 THIS IS A MYOTRON! AND THIS IS A BADGE! 189 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,997 YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! 190 00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:43,499 [ SCREAMING ] 191 00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,268 GOD! 192 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,272 WOW! 193 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,643 Narrator: LET'S GET OUTSIDE. 194 00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:53,542 GOT TO CONFESS -- I'M STILL MAJOR-LEAGUE BUZZED 195 00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:55,144 FROM LAST NIGHT'S "SUCCESS AWARDS." 196 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,735 HOW ABOUT YOU GUYS? 197 00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,151 LET'S GET BACK INSIDE! 198 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:05,451 ...A "SUCCESS AWARD" DUET YOU WON'T FORGET. 199 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:09,185 Narrator: IT'S TIME TO FIND OUT WHO DROPS BY THE BIZ PIT. 200 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,662 [ TIRES SCREECHING ] 201 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,791 I'M A HOLLYWOOD INSIDER. I KNOW WHAT GOES ON. 202 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,626 RIGHT. "DOGSTAR" IS ACTUALLY KEANU REEVES. 203 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:16,032 IT IS? OH, F-- YEAH. 204 00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:16,903 YEAH. 205 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,300 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 206 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,701 THERE'S ANOTHER INCARNATION BEFORE THE -- 207 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:24,544 UH, I'M PARANOID ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON OVER THERE. 208 00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,683 I DON'T KNOW ANY OF THESE PEOPLE. 209 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,338 I'VE NEVER MET ANY OF THEM. 210 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:33,210 I always have more material. [ CHUCKLES ] 211 00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,852 Can I say some more material? 212 00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,424 No. Okay. Gotcha. 213 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:39,991 [ CHUCKLES ] 214 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,020 Narrator: SUCCESSEE FOR ALWAYS HAVING MORE MATERIAL -- 215 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,056 JEFF DEANE TURNER. 216 00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:48,533 THERE WERE THREE WORDS FOR LAST NIGHT'S 217 00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:50,402 "SUCCESS AWARDS" -- WHAT A -- 218 00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:52,730 [ VOMITS ] AND HOW, DERRICK. 219 00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,026 THE 8th ANNUAL "SUCCESS AWARDS" 220 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,367 WAS A SIZZLING BLAST SENSATION 221 00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:59,013 FROM COAST TO COAST. WHAT...A...PARTY. 222 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:03,009 AND NOW TONIGHT'S LOSER IN THE RISING STAR ALERT FINALS 223 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,543 IS LUCY -- 224 00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,708 [ VOMITING ] 225 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:13,520 Narrator: AND NOW MORE WINNERS FROM "HOT PACKAGE'S" 226 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,823 8th ANNUAL "SUCCESS AWARDS." 227 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,900 HANNAH'S FIELD, FEATURING BONGO BLISS. 228 00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:25,600 * PASS THE DUTCHIE ON THE RIGHT-HAND SIDE * 229 00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:28,073 * SO COME ON, PUFF, PUFF, GIVE, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN * 230 00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:29,701 * SO PASS IT AROUND, BABY 231 00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,707 * 'CAUSE IT'S OBSCENE TO HOG THE GREEN * 232 00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,309 * PUFF, PUFF, GIVE, PUFF, PUFF, GIVE * 233 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,310 * COME ON 234 00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:35,481 * SHARE AND LIVE, 235 00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,078 PUFF, PUFF, GIVE * 236 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,610 * GROWS FROM THE EARTH, THE EARTH CAN'T HURT * 237 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:45,390 THE GUY LOOKED UP AT ME, AND HE SAYS, 238 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,858 "DON'T STAB ME ANYMORE, MAN. I'M DEAD ALREADY." 239 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,763 NOW, BAM! YOU'RE OUT OF THERE! 240 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,963 THAT'S THE END OF THAT STORY. 241 00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:56,655 LET'S TALK ABOUT ONE MORE THING HERE. 242 00:09:56,697 --> 00:10:00,127 I-I LOST MY CAT. I CANNOT FIND MY CAT. 243 00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:01,737 WOULD YOU HELP ME FIND MY CAT? 244 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:04,739 WOULD YOU COME WITH ME AND HELP ME FIND MY CAT? 245 00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,682 AND THIS LITTLE GIRL WHO LOVES CATS, SHE SAYS, 246 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,078 "I'M GONNA MAKE THE DOPE DEAL. 247 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,009 YOU HOLD THE DOPE. I'LL HOLD THE CAT." 248 00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:12,914 NOW THERE'S A SONG. IT GOES LIKE THIS -- 249 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,246 THEY'LL ASK SOMETHING LIKE, 250 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:15,481 "YOU KNOW WHERE THE SMITH PEOPLE LIVE? 251 00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:16,575 YOU KNOW?" 252 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,916 AND THEN, "I CAN'T HEAR YOU." 253 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,251 AND THEN THE LITTLE GIRL GETS A LITTLE CLOSER -- 254 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,487 "I CAN'T HEAR YOU. COME A LITTLE CLOSER." 255 00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:23,862 AND SHE GETS A LITTLE CLOSER -- 256 00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:25,861 "I CAN'T HEAR YOU. COME A LITTLE CLOSER." 257 00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:27,363 AND SHE GETS A LITTLE CLOSER..." 258 00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:30,004 Narrator: BEST EROTICALLY CHARGED PIANO INFLUENCE DUET 259 00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,670 AT THE 8th ANNUAL "SUCCESS AWARDS" -- 260 00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:36,100 JENNIFER DAY AND JEREMY EBENSTEIN. 261 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,866 * OOH, OOH 262 00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:43,005 * SUCCESS IS THE PLACE TO BE * 263 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:48,123 * SUCCESS IS THE PLACE TO BE * 264 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:53,848 * WHY EXIST ANYWHERE ELSE? 265 00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:58,187 * WHY EXIST ANYWHERE ELSE? 266 00:10:58,225 --> 00:11:03,495 * DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU GOT INSIDE * 267 00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,700 [ BECKLES VOMITING ] 268 00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:05,572 * NO -- 269 00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:06,968 [ LAUGHING ] 270 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,000 GOOD NIGHT, NORTH AMERICA. KEEP WINNING. 19249

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