All language subtitles for Good.Behavior.S02E03.WEBRip.x264-ION10

Letty: So, you were going
to kill someone?

Javier:
Yes. And it was a trap.

He was another hit man
there to kill me.

Get rid of this body.
Now.

Take it to
what's his name --

Silk.
The funeral home.

I really do need
to find your daughter.

I've told you,
I don't know where she is.

We're gonna find this guy,

and he's not gonna
get away this time.

I'm here to schedule
my son's interview.

Monday at 2:00.

If the interview goes well,
we'll need this.

I told you
I have that money covered.

No.
I will get the money.

By murdering somebody?

I saw Emile arguing with one of
those college guys in the woods.

And the guy jumped
off a cliff.

Man: Bryce!

Those guys are looking
for their friend Bryce.

Do you know
where he is?

No idea.

Apple saw you
in the woods.

I don't know what Apple saw,
but, uh...yes.

I was in the woods last night
with one of those guys.

Why?

I was getting wood
for the fire with him.

What did Apple tell you
she saw exactly?

She was peeing
in the woods.

When she came back,
she told me she saw

Javier and a guy arguing.

Then the guy
jumped off a cliff,

and Javier
just stood there.

Is Apple crazy
or was she drunk?

Drunk.

She stole a beer.

She drank
the whole thing.

I told her
she couldn't have seen that

and it was because
she was drunk.

Obviously.

But then, just now,
those guys were looking
for their friend Bryce.

So?
You know Javier.

He obviously wouldn't just watch
a guy walk off a cliff

and do nothing about it.

He's not a psychopath.

Jacob: Do you have bad people
from your past like Mom does?

Everybody has bad people
in their past.

Yeah, but this is
a really nice car.

How did you afford it
if you're just a cook?

Did you used to do
other stuff?

-Actually --
-You mean like the stuff I did?

Yeah.
Is that how you met?

No.

Where are you going
with this?

You think that
maybe Javier was arguing

with a bad guy
from his past?

Yeah.

A 20-year-old college dude
named Bryce?

I don't know
how old he was.

And as soon as
he found Javier,

he walked off a cliff
and killed himself?

Yeah, I guess
that doesn't make sense.

No.

And also, the guy I got
firewood with,

his name wasn't Bryce.

It was Daniel.

Oh.

Yeah.

It is good that you asked
these questions, though.

You should always
ask questions

if you can't find
the answer yourself.

Yeah.

**

* Hard time forgiving

* Even harder forgetting

* Before you do something

* You might regret, friend

* Bricks are caving in

* Oh, how sweet this sin

* I left you the keys

* You won't let me in

* Hard time forgiving

* Even harder forgetting

* Before you do something

* You might regret, friend

[ Chimes clinking ]

**

[ School bell rings ]

[ Indistinct chatter ]

**

[ School bell rings ]

Hi.

A list of books
he'll need,

our honor code,
and a parents' manual.

S-So you're
letting him in?

He got in?

He can start as soon as we
return from the holiday break.

I know we're probably not the
only school you're looking at,

but we really hope
you'll choose Cedarwood.

You got in!

You got in!

So, I'll take that
as a "yes"?

Yes!

Yes!

Uh...
Oh.

Here.

Okay.

We'll see you
in the new year, Michael.

[ Laughs ]
Can we get
all the books now?

We could.

But it might make us late

to drop you off
with your dad.

Oh.

You don't have to stay with him
if you don't want to.

Yes, I do.

He gets Christmas...
for a week.

I know.

But if you don't want
to be with him,

if you want to come on a trip
with me and Javier

and Nana and Rob...

I want to be
with him.

Okay.

Good.
That's good.

I'll get all the books
while you're away.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Knock on door ]

Ho ho ho.

Gracias.

Ah.

How many phone books do you need
to fill Yankee Stadium?

They asked that
in your interview?

Millions.

One. Then, you call
all the people in it

and make them come
to the stadium.

You can't make them
come to the stadium.

It was
the right answer.

How'd you know?

I Googled "stupid interview
questions."

Oh.
Smart.

We're very proud
of you, Jacob.

It is not easy to get into
such a good school.

Maybe you can give me
the list of books

and I can get them
with Sean.

I told you
I would get them.

I know, but if Sean can get them
when I'm at his house,

then I'll have a week
to start reading and get ahead.

Ahead of what?

Ooh.
Can we get a dog?

No. No.

But hey.

You can have this.

Don't open it
until Christmas morning.

Thanks, Javier.

Actually, it's from
the both of us.

It says "To Jacob, From Javier."

**

[ Horn honks ]

**

Rob:
I missed you, dude!

Oh, I wish you were
coming on our trip!

Missed you, too.
Where's Javier?

We dropped him off
at the movies.

Fucking Christmas.

Rob, inside.

Hey.

Jacob, come on.

[ Laughs ]
Hey, Dad.

Ah.

Hey, Jacob, I want you
to meet Bethenny.

She's my, uh --
She's gonna be my wife.

Bethenny: Oh, you are even
more handsome in person

than you are
in your pictures.

And your daddy has so many
pictures of you on his phone.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, Letty.

Hi.

I feel like I'm meeting
a celebrity.

The trials that God
has presented you,

the things He's carried
you through and shown you?

I mean,
I know this is ugly,

but I'm so jealous
of your relationship with Him.

Nothing to be
jealous of, really.

Well, He has obviously
chosen you.

I mean, after everything
He put you through,

you are standing there,
so alive and beautiful.

[ Sneezes ]

Oh.
Bless you.

Thank you.
I'm allergic to everything.

Jacob.

You didn't tell me
about Bethenny.

You don't tell me
anything.

Do I ask?

Jacob has a list of books
he needs for school.

It would be great
if you could get them.

Isn't that your job?

I don't know. But he wants
to get them with you.

Hey, you ready, Jacob?

Jacob.

Oh.

I love you, baby.

-I love you, too.
-See you in a week.

Bye, Mom.
Love you.

[ Car door closes ]

[ Engine starts ]

**

Estelle: Why did Javier
go to the movies?

He didn't want
to see Sean.

Well, I didn't want
to see Sean, either.

Birch Mountain Resort and Spa,
here we come!

Ooh ooh! Ooh ooh!

[ Laughs ]
It's five stars, Letty.

You're gonna love it.
And it's all on me.

What? No, Rob,
you're not paying.

Already done.
Already done.

And I got us
adjoining rooms,

which is good for Christmas
but bad for other things.

[ Horn honks ]

[ Laughs ]

But one thing
you'd never guess about me --

I-I'm super quiet
during sex.

I'm not so quiet.

Oh, I know.

Thanks, Rob.

I've never really been
on a vacation.

What are you
talking about?

Most of your life's
been a vacation.

Come on. Let's get Jav
and hit the road!

Rob, you go get Javier.

I'll ride with Letty.

-Why?
-Go, Rob.

We'll be
right behind you.

[ Vehicle departs ]

[ Sighs ]

What?
Just talk.

That FBI woman
came asking questions.

What did she want?

She didn't say.

She just wanted to know
where you were,

which I didn't
tell her

because
I didn't know.

Good.

Why does she want
to find you, Letty?

-I don't know.
-I think you probably do.

And I think
it's a fair question

considering you're with
my grandson.

She's not looking
for me.

She's looking
for Javier.

It's why he's
at the movies --

in case the FBI were here,
waiting for him.

What?

Remember the drug dealer
I had to rat out

to get custody
of Jacob?

It was Javier.

But he doesn't
do it anymore.

I can't picture him
ever doing that.

I know. He's never done
a single drug himself.

He's the one who
keeps me in line.

And he's the reason
I have Jacob,

so I'm helping him hide.

Okay?

Okay.

**

[ Rapping ] * That was me in BK
on Atlantic *

* Never looked both ways,
ran in traffic *

* Pops went away,
but I stayed, vagrant *

* Placed where the steel
and cement became nature *

Holy shit, Rob.
Thank you.

* Cityscape where the blood
of good men courses *
I'll go get us checked in.

* And the dreamers are bull
trapped in porcelain *

Don't get any ideas.

I can have ideas.

I mean
about stealing.

I know that's
what you mean.

Do you really think
I'm gonna walk out of here

with an
800-pound couch?

You would figure out
a way.

I would.
But I was thinking,

I just want a house
that looks like this.

Oh, by the way,
thanks for including me

in that gift
for Jacob.

I thought you would get him
something yourself.

I thought getting him
into private school

was a pretty nice gift.
Kids want to unwrap things.

Private school
is all he wanted.

Just because he wanted
one thing

doesn't mean he doesn't want
more things.

Of all people, I'm sure
you can understand that.

[ Scoffs ]

Estelle: What are
you two fighting about?

Nah,
we're not fighting.

Yes, we are. You can't just
end arguments without me.

Why is that guy
staring at us?

[ "Jingle Bells" plays
on piano ]

[ Indistinct chatter ]

[ Sighs ]

What's wrong?

I think he might be here
to kill me.

What would make you
think that?

It's just a feeling.

He was probably
looking at your ass.

Rob:
408 and 409.

Back to back!
Double penetration!

[ Laughs ]

409.

Uh-oh! 409!
Where you gonna end up?

Ah!
Just give Letty
the other key for 409.

Thank you.

Hey, can I give you a piece
of relationship advice?

-No.
-If you really like Javier,

don't pick on him
for stupid shit.

The only thing you can really
change about a man is his hair.

I like his hair.

What are you doing?

Looking for that guy.

He's gone.

Are you gonna be like this
the whole time?

[ Knock on door ]
Woman: U.P.S.!

Aw! You've already
been here today!

[ Book slams ]
Ugh.

[ Glass thuds ]

[ Laughs ]

Not funny.

-I decide what's funny.
-[ Groans ]

You yelling at an innocent
U.P.S. delivery person

is hilarious.

Why are you having all your
packages delivered here?

You have your own house.

Yes, I do.

But you're
in yours all day

while I'm out in the field
working.

I'm not your doorman.

Oh, don't cry.

Why don't you just take your
packages and go. Please.

Why do you think
I'm here?

But you're coming with.

You're gonna help.

I'm not helping --
Accurate!

You haven't done a single thing
to help me find Javier.

So, this is how
you're gonna help.

Let's go.
-No, I'm not going anywhere!

[ Boxes thud ]

Are you agoraphobic?

No.

Big Christmas plans?

[ Sighs ] No.

Is there a hooker
coming over?

What?
No.

[ Laughing ] Well, then,
what's your problem, dude?

I'm taking you to my cabin in
the woods for a holiday retreat.

It's very quaint.
It's very cute.

We will assemble the plastic,
pre-lit Christmas tree

currently suffocating
in one of those boxes.

In the rest of these boxes
are presents,

which we will wrap
and unwrap.

Maybe we'll drink hot cider

if I have any
of those little packets

left over from last year.

W-Why didn't you
just tell me?

Because I like
surprises.

I don't.

-Boo!
-Aah!

[ Refrigerator door closes ]

[ Cap clacks ]

[ Sighs ]

Javier:
That was fast.

I'm on vacation.

And you need to take
longer showers.

[ Sighs ]

You also need
to relax.

You're on vacation, too.

Here.

I mean, if you did something
else, if you were like --

I don't know --
a neurologist or something,

you wouldn't have to worry
about people trying to
kill you all the time.

Yeah, I have been hired
to kill neurologists.
You know what I mean.

And we wouldn't have to
gaslight Jacob.

What?

It's when you
manipulate someone

into thinking they're
the crazy one.

We did not make him think
he was crazy.

We kind of did. So, what are you
gonna do the next time?

And the next time?

I thought we were
on vacation.

Don't open these yet,
but a Christmas tree

with no presents under it
is a sad sight.

Dinner downstairs
at 7:00.

[ Door closes ]

[ Javier sighs ]

What's wrong?

I miss my family.

They miss you.

**

[ Glass thuds ]

[ Javier sighs ]

**

You don't have to leave this
thing parked at the office?

What?

No.

I own this.

Like, with the TVs
and everything?

You expect me to drive the basic
shit car the FBI gives us?

[ Chuckles ]
Don't answer that.

It makes sense
that you would think that.

And you own
this cabin, too?

What are you,
some kind of gold digger?

**

[ Cork pops ]

Say it again.

-Buenos Aires.
-Say it again.

Buenos Aires.
Again.

[ Chuckles ]

Rob: Hey, that's the most
expensive one, right?

Server:
Yes, it is.

Rob, how well are your
grasshoppers doing?

You mean my sperm?

No.

I mean Rob's Grasshoppers.

Oh!
Really well.

I had my best year this year.

Out of how many years?

Nine.

Seriously?
That's not so much.

I mean, we finished high school
15 years ago.

[ Clears throat ]

I mean, I know
you didn't graduate --

I got it.

You know why this year
has really been so great?

God damn it,
I'm gonna make a toast.

[ Clears throat ]

[ Breathes deeply ]

The last Christmas
I spent with my family,

my Uncle Dale got so drunk,

he threw my Aunt Georgina
through a plate-glass window.

A-And that was before my sister
announced that she was pregnant

even though her husband got his
balls snipped the year before,

which is when things got
really ugly, let me tell you.

So, I can say that,
having you guys as my new family

is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to me.

I mean, the only thing
better was the day
that Estelle said "yes."

Estelle, you've made me
the luckiest man alive,

and I still get a boner
every time you walk into a room.

And even though
y'all aren't married,

I consider you
my daughter and son-in-law.

Letty, you gave me
a grandson,

and Jacob is the coolest boy
in the world.

And Javier,
you gave me a whole car.

The McDanielses are a bunch
of dick-wad alcoholics

who never gave me a single
Goddamn thing

except a shitty reputation.

So, I couldn't be happier
right now.

I mean,
we're all here together.

And we're having
a family spa day on Thursday.

[ Laughs ]

So, let's all
raise a glass...

to family.

-To family.
-To family.

A la familia.

[ Glasses clink ]

What's that mean,
Javier?

"To family."

Oh.
Cool.

You got a big family?

I do, yeah.

They're also
a bunch of assholes.

No, they're not.

It is really just my father
who's the asshole.

Well, who cares
about your dad?

You got me now.

Rob, you deal
with the check

while me and Javier get a table
in the bar for a nightcap.

We can all
just go together.

I don't see a check.
Do you see a check?

I'll stay with Rob.

[ Clears throat ]

We obviously have to wait
for the check.

No, you don't.
They don't do checks here.

You just get up.

What are you
talking about?

It's all-inclusive.

Um, no, it's not.

Uh, yeah, it is.

Why would you
think that?

These places
always are.

No, they're not.

Every vacation I've ever been on
is all-inclusive.

This is a
five-star hotel.

-So is Club Med.
-No, it's not.

Jesus, Rob...

It was weird that they
didn't give us any beads

or drink vouchers
when we checked in.

Between the rooms and meals
and drinks for five nights,

plus spa treatments,

it's gonna be at least
10 or 12 grand.

-What?
-Here you are.

Oh, my God.
The limit on my card is $4,000.

I don't -- I don't have
that kind of money.

I mean, I'm --
I'm gonna have to sell

the new
Rob's Grasshoppers vans,

and I'm -- I'm not gonna
be able to pay my fair
share of the house.

Your mom is gonna kill me.

I mean...

I really think
she might leave me.

What am I gonna do,
Letty?

Tell me what to do.

**

Don't worry.
I'll figure something out.

**

I can see
you make Letty happy.

Do you think you'll be able
to keep on making her happy?

I will try.

Well, she's no
day at the beach.

Yeah.

Yeah, we live
at the beach.

[ Chuckles ]
No. It's a saying.

It means she's not easy
to live with.

Oh.

Well, neither am I.

Oh, my God,
there's that guy again.

**

Holy shit.
I know who that is.

-You do?
-Oh, my God. I can't.

Estelle, who is it?

His name is Luke.

He was one of
my phone-sex clients.

I knew he wasn't right
in the head

from the first time he called me
over a year ago.

He said he wanted to do
twisted, violent shit to me,

and I told him
not to call back, but...

-Did you tell Rob?
-Are you kidding?

He'd kill the guy and then
get caught and end up in jail

for the rest
of his life.

How do you know this guy
is that Luke guy?

Well, that's how
he said he looked --

6'3", dark hair,
with that rose tattoo.

That could be
a lot of guys.

And who's been stalking me
since I got here?

[ Clears throat ]

I will
take care of it.

No. It's not
your problem.

You're family.

I will take care of it.

**

[ Rapping ] * Who, me?

* I is di queen
* Queen

* Yeah, me bad
* Yeah, me bad

* Just like machine...gun

* Qui moi?

* Je suis la reine
* La reine

* Je suis forte

* Ca c'est certain

* Délicieux

* Comme des bonnes

* Comme des bonnes,
comme des bonnes *

* Comme des bonnes

* Délicieux

* Comme des bonnes

* Comme des bonnes,
comme des bonnes *

* Comme des bonnes

**

There you are.

With all that champagne, I had
to pee for, like, 10 hours.

Keep your morning open.

What? What are you
talking about?

Trust me. I've done this
a few thousand times.

Stole from Santa?

No.
From real people.

Oh. Good.

Javier:
Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Can I help you?

You've been following me.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Since we checked in, I have
caught you watching me twice.

This is what I do for a living,
so I know what you're doing.

Well,
what am I doing?

Watching me. Or watching
my mother-in-law.

Watching people
isn't against the law.

If you are stalking them, then,
yes, it is against the law.

You need to relax.

You need to go away.

I'm a guest
at this hotel.

I'll do whatever
I want.

Please don't kill a random
phone-sex guy in this hotel.

He might not be
a random phone-sex guy.

He might not be
a hit man, either.

Not every person who looks
at you is trying to kill you.

[ Breathes deeply ]

Look at me.

Look at me.

I'm looking at you,
and I'm not trying to kill you.

I know.

I mean, sometimes
I want to kill you.

I know.

Sometimes,
I want to kill you.

It's funny...

from the moment we met, you knew
I killed people for a living.

And I knew you were an addict,
a thief.

We knew the worst things about
each other from the start...

and we didn't run away.

I tried to.

Yeah, so did I.

But here we are.

And all we do is try
to change each other.

Why are we together?

I think this is what happens
when the honeymoon is over.

Did we ever have
a honeymoon?

[ Dia Frampton's
"Die Wild" plays ]

* If I never get sober

* Fuck it

* The heart wants
what it wants *

* If I never get over you

* Fuck it

* Well, I just wanna
be blue sometime *

* I don't wanna get better

* I wanna burn
like the 4th of July *

* A little bit
I got to fill me up *

* A little bit
of spit in my eye *

* I just wanna die wild

* I just wanna die wild

* I just wanna die
wiiiiiiild *

* I just wanna die
wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiild *

[ FaceTime beeping ]

Merry Christmas Eve!

Did I wake you up?

Jacob: No.
I've been up.

Sean and Bethenny
are having a party.

And you're hiding
in your room?

They told me
to stay up here.

What are you
talking about? Why?

They said
it's for adults.

It's okay.
It seems boring anyway.

I'm gonna call Sean.

No!
I'm okay, Mom.

I'm excited
for Christmas tomorrow.

-Yeah.
-Did you get me something?

For Christmas?
Of course.

Sean said you didn't
give him anything for me

for under the tree.

That's because...
Sean doesn't know about it.

It's a surprise.

Oh, I miss you.

I love you.
-I miss you, too.

I'll call you tomorrow
when I open your present.

Okay.
Yay!

-Bye.
-Bye.

[ Cellphone beeps ]

Fuck.

**

Woodhill!

Presents time.

It's not Christmas.
You're right.
It's Christmas Eve,

which is when you open Christmas
presents if you're Jewish.

Well, I open them
on Christmas morning.

Okay.

You can open your present
on Christmas morning.

Ha ha!

[ Laughs ]

Sound machine!

All the rest of those
are yours?

[ Wah! Wah! Wah! Wah! ]

Well...

Hi.
Great.

[ Door closes ]
Are we doing Swedish
or Deep Tissue or...

It's whatever
my boyfriend wants.

Ready, babe?

-For what?
-Your 90-minute massage

so you can relax.

Merry Christmas.

-Are you serious?
-Yeah.

Don't let him
tip you.

**

[ Elevator bell dings ]

**

[ Cellphone rings ]

-I can't do this.
-Yes, you can.

Just do exactly
what I told you to do.

The elves will know
that I'm not a real elf.

Nobody is
a real elf, Rob,

and nobody likes
pretending to be a real elf.

What they will like
is anyone who helps them

do their job
a little less.

That's you.

Why wouldn't they like
pretending to be a real elf?

See?
You're gonna be great.

[ Cellphone beeps ]

Hi.
I'm Rob, the elf.

What do you want
for Christmas?

You're not Santa.

No, but you can tell me,
and I'll tell Santa.

I'll just wait
for Santa.

Can I -- Can I get
your room number?

Why?

Hotel policy.
Research, maybe --

like, demographics
of who likes Santa

and should they do it
next year or whatever.

Uh, 306.

* Let's have applause
for Mrs. Santa Claus *

* Who trims his beard
and helps to load the sleigh *

* Who makes the toys
while Santa's away *

* Who should get
all the applause? *

[Spoken] Who, of course,
but Mrs. Santa Claus

* Who darns his socks
and hangs out his suit? *

* Who lights up
Rudolph's nose... *

And in what room should Santa
leave your pony?

442.

...42.

What are you up to?

I'm working.

No, I mean later.

Who cares
about this shit?

* Christmas Eve,
she orders snow *

* Wakes up Santa
when it's time to go-o *

* Who helps him check
each Christmas list? *

* Who wears a smile
though her name's been missed? *

I need a gun.

-Why?
-To shoot my little sister.

-That's not very nice.
-She's not very nice.

Kids should never
have guns.

But w-what's
your room number?

The penthouse.

Santa's getting you
a bike.

-You're not in charge.
-Yes, I am.

You think Santa
actually does the work?

[ Scoffs ] He pretends
he does everything,

but he just shows up
to this crap once a year,

and I do
everything else.

You're getting
a bike.

* She should get
all the applause *

* Let's have a hand
for Mrs. Santa Claus *

* She makes presents
all year through *

* Tells the dwarves
what they must do *

* Christmas Eve,
she orders snow *

* Wakes up Santa
when it's time to go-o *

* Who helps him check through
each Christmas list? *

* Who wears a smile --
Girl: What are you doing?

Letty: Hi.

Are your parents here?

No. They're downstairs
with my stupid brother.

Who are you?
-Your stupid brother?

Why is he stupid?

He still believes
in Santa.

What are you doing
in our room?

I'm exchanging
your presents.

Why?

Because Santa gave you
the wrong ones.

I just told you
Santa isn't real.

How do you know?

You know how,
when you sit on Santa's lap

and you tell him what you want,
if your parents can't hear,

they always ask
for what you asked for.

Well, last year,
I told Santa one thing

and my parents another
just to prove he isn't real.

I like you.
But you're wrong.

-No, I'm not.
-Yes, you are.

I should know.

[ Whispering ]
I'm Mrs. Claus.

But you're not fat.

Common misconception.

Bye, Jessica.

How did you know
my name?

[ Shimmer! ]

Because I'm Mrs. Claus.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

**

[ Door lock beeps ]

**

[ Dial tone ]

[ Keypad beeping ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Groans ]

Why are you here?

What?
This is my room.

You didn't
come here to...explore.

You came here
to do something.

Aah!

Okay!
I came for her!

God damn it!

-What?
-Estelle.

I couldn't handle her just being
a voice on the line.

[ Exhales sharply ]

You will never
bother Estelle again.

You will leave
this hotel.

If I ever see your face again,
it will not end well for you.

Unh!

[ Floor indicator chimes ]

[ Elevator bell dings ]

What happened
to your massage?

Nothing.

It was great.
Thank you.

Where are you
coming from?

I, uh...

I went shopping.

I got a present
for your mom and Rob.

Oh.
Same.

Why are you
all dressed up?

I also went shopping
for myself.

You like?

I do.

Festive.

Can you open the door?

I forgot my keycard.

Right.

[ Door lock beeps ]

[ Door opens ]

[ Gift wrap tearing ]

[ Sighs ]

Daniela: Uncle Jav always
knows what to get.

Yeah.

[ Sniffles ]

I brought gifts
for you, too.

**

[ Object rattles ]

Oh.

Aww.
This is beautiful.

I'm sorry.
Isn't this a little much?

Daniela --

No, these earrings are,
like, at least $1,000.

Seriously, Mom,
this is so weird.

Teo:
I'm sorry. I --

I've never been very good
at giving gifts.

No, Teo.

These are gorgeous.
It's just...

we're still
going through a lot.

Of course.

I shouldn't have.

I'm sorry.

Merry Christmas.

You don't have to
go anywhere.

Really?

I think I have to go
to the bathroom.

Yeah, me too.

[ Sighs ]

Merry Christmas!

Ho ho ho!

Let's see what Santa's got
for his little children, here.

[ Gasps ]
[ Laughs ]

Letty Betty Bo Betty...

[ Objects clacking, rattling ]

Is this a puzzle?
No guessing.

* Just like the ones
I used to know *

[ Gift wrap tears ]

I know you love it,
so you should have it.

And -- And the shark almost
kind of looks like you, right?

Uh-huh.

[ Chuckles ]
Jav...

you are gonna
love this.

[ Grunts ]

* I'm dreaming
of a white Christmas *

Wow.

Rob, this is too much.

It's a gun.

Did you just
throw this at me?

There's a safety
obviously.

Safety first.
Look at the handle.

He got an engraved gun,
and I got a used puzzle?

Seriously, Rob,
this is...

I can't accept this.

Uh, I'm pretty sure
you have to accept it.

I can't return a gun
with your name on it.

Okay.
Thank you.

So, this is for you.

And this is for you.

All right!

[ Gift wrap tears ]

Where the treetops glisten
and children listen

Rob: Javier.

Holy shit.

You're my favorite son.

Do you have other sons?

Probably.

Estelle:
Thanks, Javier.

Letty: Wow.

World's greatest.
Congrats.

Okay, my turn.

* May your days be merry
and bright *

Oh!
Thanks.

* And may all your
Christmases be white *

* Sleigh bells ring

* Are you listening?

* In the lane
Thank you.

* Snow is glistening

* A beautiful sight

* We're happy tonight

* Walkin'

* Gone away
is the bluebird *
[ Javier chuckles ]

* Here to stay
Merry Christmas.

-Merry Christmas.
-Thanks, baby.

* He sings a love song

Javier.

Don't open it here.

It's an
unofficial present.

It's just cash.

Javier:
Estelle, this is very generous,
but Letty and I are fine.

No.
The money is for Jacob.

Books, clothes,
sushi -- whatever.

I'm giving it to you
because you'll make sure

the money's spent the way
that it's meant to be.

Okay.

[ FaceTime beeping ]

-[ Gasps ]
-Mom!

You got me a dog!
-Merry Christmas!

-Hey, merry Christmas!
-Hey, merry Christmas!

You said I couldn't have one,
but then you still got me one.

Because that's what
you wanted.

Have you given him
a name?

I wanted to
ask you first.

The name is totally
up to you.

-Javier.
-Mm-hmm.

I left Rob's present
in the car.

And I would ask Rob
to go get it,

but then I'd be a real bitch
because it's his present.

Do you mind?
-Not at all.

Thanks.

It's in a green bag
in the way back.

Green bag.

Tell Javier thanks
for the AirPods.

You're welcome.

Oh, he's running upstairs.
I got to get him.

Letty: Okay.

[ Puppy barking ]
[ Bethenny sneezing ]

I cannot believe
that you Craiglisted

a fucking dog
to this house.

Oh, no, I forgot.
Bethenny's allergic.

Bye, Sean.

[ Laughs ]

* Walking in a winter
wonderland *

[ Car alarm chirps ]

[ Lighter clicking ]

You're actually really good
at this, Rob.

Thanks.
I practice.

Not the puzzle --
Christmas.

[ Knock on door ]
I got it.

[ Cellphone vibrating ]

Hey.

Estelle:
He's here -- Luke.

He's outside my door.

Go into my room,
with Letty and Rob.

Lock the doors.
I'll be right there.

**

Mom.

[ Lock clicks ]

Rhonda?

Rhonda?

Mom, what the hell
is going on?

Estelle:
Javier didn't tell you?

You seriously have
a stalker?

-Why wouldn't I?
-A stalker?

[ Door slams open in distance ]

**

Rhonda!

[ Picture frame clacks ]

[ Sighs ]

**

**

**

This is insane.
I'm calling security.

No, you're not.

Why would you not
want to call security?

[ Cellphone vibrating ]

Christian.

You have to tell me the truth
right now.

Are you anywhere
in the Smoky Mountains?

Yes.
Birch Mountain Resort.

Shit!
You need to leave.

-Why?
-I'm supposedly on vacation

with Lashever at her cabin,

only it's conveniently five
minutes from Birch Mountain.

And I just realized
this isn't even her cabin!

[ Gun cocks ]

I told you
to disappear.

Agent Lashever: Drop the gun.
You're under arrest.

FBI.

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]
I think she's got you.

I think you're right.

[ Cellphone beeps ]

I'm sorry, Letty.

[ Handcuffs click ]

Ooh!

What's this?

It's a Christmas gift.

From Estelle Raines.
To get rid of her stalker.

Got it.

Seriously?
[ Door opens ]

This is bullshit!

Oh!
Look who it is!

It's like I'm opening
a Shitty Person Advent Calendar.

Go back in
the other room, Letty.

It's over.

Letty,
put down the gun.

No.

Let him go.

Let him go!

Ah!

[ Handcuffs click ]
Jesus Christ, Ms. Raines.

You could've gotten out
of this scot-free.

All you had to do was not
threaten a federal agent.

**

This was not the plan.
Let her go!

**

* Have yourself
a merry little Christmas *

* Let your heart be light

* From now on, our troubles
will be out of sight *

Which airline?

**

**

**

**