Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,750 --> 00:00:07,125
[ Children squealing ]
2
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:10,250
[ Grunting ]
3
00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:17,583
♪♪
4
00:00:17,666 --> 00:00:18,958
Hi.
Hi!
5
00:00:19,041 --> 00:00:20,250
Oh! Oh!
6
00:00:20,333 --> 00:00:21,583
Fuck!
Sorry. Sorry.
7
00:00:21,666 --> 00:00:23,000
No, no, no. It's nothing.
It's nothing. It's fine.
8
00:00:23,083 --> 00:00:24,375
Um, hi, I'm --
I'm so sorry,
9
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,833
because I thought it was
Pride Night tonight.
10
00:00:25,916 --> 00:00:28,041
But apparently,
that's next Friday,
11
00:00:28,125 --> 00:00:30,750
and tonight is actually
Country Night.
12
00:00:30,833 --> 00:00:32,041
Oh.
Yeah.
13
00:00:32,125 --> 00:00:33,250
No, it's all good.
14
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:34,916
And you look great.
15
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,291
And I'm sure
no one will notice.
16
00:00:37,375 --> 00:00:39,000
I-I mean, like,
I-I can change.
17
00:00:39,083 --> 00:00:41,125
Like, I-I have clothes
i-in a locker.
18
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,791
I-I didn't know
what magical
19
00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:44,916
Under the Stars things we were
gonna get up to afterwards.
20
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,208
Oh. How late are we
gonna be out?
21
00:00:46,291 --> 00:00:47,958
Oh, so he already wants it
to be over.
22
00:00:48,041 --> 00:00:49,416
No, no, no. I just need to tell
my dad, like, when to get me.
23
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:50,708
No, that was a joke.
I was joking.
24
00:00:50,791 --> 00:00:52,166
Oh.
Oh, that's so cute.
25
00:00:52,250 --> 00:00:53,500
[ Chuckles ]
26
00:00:54,416 --> 00:00:56,250
We -- Should we get
the s-skates?
27
00:00:56,333 --> 00:00:57,625
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28
00:00:57,708 --> 00:00:59,958
[ Chuckles ]
So, how are you?
29
00:01:00,041 --> 00:01:02,000
Like, I want to know everything.
Tell me all of it.
30
00:01:02,083 --> 00:01:03,375
"I'm Bo. I'm cute."
31
00:01:03,458 --> 00:01:04,708
Go.
Okay.
32
00:01:04,791 --> 00:01:06,666
Um...
33
00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:09,375
I-I started mining
for bitcoin today.
34
00:01:09,458 --> 00:01:10,625
Sorry, that's so boring.
35
00:01:10,708 --> 00:01:12,708
No, it's actually
very Taurus of you.
36
00:01:12,791 --> 00:01:14,041
Whoa.
37
00:01:14,125 --> 00:01:16,458
Well, that's crazy.
Did I tell you I'm a Taurus?
38
00:01:16,541 --> 00:01:20,208
No. She's just
very intuitive.
39
00:01:20,291 --> 00:01:23,541
Uh, actually,
I-I-I stalked you
40
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,958
a little bit,
to find your birthday.
41
00:01:26,041 --> 00:01:27,708
But, like, you know,
who doesn't want to be stalked
42
00:01:27,791 --> 00:01:28,916
a little bit, right?
43
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,291
Like, I'm like,
"Yes, please.
44
00:01:30,375 --> 00:01:32,458
Fantasize abut me
in pervy ways."
45
00:01:32,541 --> 00:01:35,791
Well, actually, um,
my aunt had a stalker --
46
00:01:35,875 --> 00:01:38,500
Well, I mean, he wasn't
really, but she thought he was
47
00:01:38,583 --> 00:01:40,583
'cause he kept showing up
at her apartment complex.
48
00:01:40,666 --> 00:01:42,333
But he was just
a delivery guy.
49
00:01:42,416 --> 00:01:45,500
Um. Only she ended up
pepper-spraying him, and then...
50
00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:48,083
he filed a restraining order
against her, and --
51
00:01:48,166 --> 00:01:50,000
and she had
a nervous breakdown.
52
00:01:55,083 --> 00:01:56,583
Um, size 10, please.
53
00:01:59,375 --> 00:02:00,500
Oh, are you okay?
54
00:02:00,583 --> 00:02:02,666
Yes. Uh -- Uh --
So, bitcoin!
55
00:02:02,750 --> 00:02:04,208
T-Tell me about that.
How do you do that?
56
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:07,416
Okay. Uh, well, it's mostly
just figuring out software
57
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:09,875
and profitability based on,
uh, energy consumption
58
00:02:09,958 --> 00:02:11,583
versus the current
bitcoin price
59
00:02:11,666 --> 00:02:13,625
But the --
Are you sure you're okay?
60
00:02:13,708 --> 00:02:16,166
Yeah. Just, um, keep
telling me about bitcoin.
61
00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:18,291
Uh, the --
the cool thing is mining
62
00:02:18,375 --> 00:02:20,500
actually helps keep
the network secure,
63
00:02:20,583 --> 00:02:22,666
which is interesting,
you know?
64
00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:23,875
Yes!
65
00:02:24,750 --> 00:02:26,166
Oh, is it?
Yes!
66
00:02:26,250 --> 00:02:29,500
Hey, uh, I like
"Brokeback Mountain".
67
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,208
I like Blake Shelton.
68
00:02:31,291 --> 00:02:32,666
[ Laughter ]
69
00:02:32,750 --> 00:02:34,208
That's fuckin'
hilarious.
70
00:02:34,291 --> 00:02:35,875
I bet he actually does like
Blake Shelton.
71
00:02:35,958 --> 00:02:38,250
Oh, I-I love
Blake Shelton.
72
00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:40,083
No, you don't.
73
00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:42,541
♪♪
74
00:02:42,625 --> 00:02:43,666
Are you sure
you don't want to stop?
75
00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:44,875
Yeah, no, I-I'm fine.
76
00:02:44,958 --> 00:02:46,333
I just haven't skated
in a while,
77
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:47,750
but you know, there --
there are other things
78
00:02:47,833 --> 00:02:48,875
that I want to do
that might be fun --
79
00:02:48,958 --> 00:02:50,375
"Rocky Horror" and --
80
00:02:50,458 --> 00:02:51,750
Oh, I've always wanted
to see that.
81
00:02:51,833 --> 00:02:53,708
Oh, you're a virgin!
Okay. That's gonna be great.
82
00:02:53,791 --> 00:02:55,083
I wanna help you figure out
what to wear,
83
00:02:55,166 --> 00:02:56,541
because if you wear
the wrong thing,
84
00:02:56,625 --> 00:02:58,000
then, you get sacrificed
with the other virgins,
85
00:02:58,083 --> 00:02:59,333
and then, you have
to do something, like,
86
00:02:59,416 --> 00:03:01,833
moan your mom's name
like she's being fucked.
87
00:03:01,916 --> 00:03:04,916
Oh.
But it's, like, fun, though.
88
00:03:06,166 --> 00:03:07,625
Are you guys brothers?
89
00:03:07,708 --> 00:03:10,250
No. Do we look like
we're brothers?
90
00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:11,416
We're on a date.
91
00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:14,875
Oh, so, are you gonna
touch penises?
92
00:03:14,958 --> 00:03:16,458
Man: No, no, no, Bobby!
Other way! Other way!
93
00:03:16,541 --> 00:03:18,208
Ew! Ew! Ew!
94
00:03:18,291 --> 00:03:19,750
[ Vomiting ]
95
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,500
Oh, my God! Shoot!
Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!
96
00:03:22,583 --> 00:03:24,583
Oh, my God.
A-Are you okay?
97
00:03:24,666 --> 00:03:27,250
Ew! Fuck!
98
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:28,250
Ugh.
99
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,583
Fuck!
100
00:03:29,666 --> 00:03:31,625
[ Ashnikko's Cry (feat. Grimes)
plays ]
101
00:03:31,708 --> 00:03:36,583
♪♪
102
00:03:36,666 --> 00:03:38,041
[ Text message send noise ]
103
00:03:38,125 --> 00:03:40,291
♪ I'm a tough bitch,
but I'm sensitive ♪
104
00:03:40,375 --> 00:03:42,833
Delilah: Everybody come buy
your dance tickets!
105
00:03:42,916 --> 00:03:44,125
Riley! Hey!
106
00:03:44,208 --> 00:03:45,625
Do you wanna get --
-Sorry. I can't.
107
00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:47,208
♪ I'm about to rip
all of my hair out ♪
108
00:03:47,291 --> 00:03:48,708
♪ 'Cause I'm madder
than I've ever been ♪
109
00:03:48,791 --> 00:03:52,416
♪ Bitch, are you tryna
make me cry? ♪
110
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:55,250
♪ Are you tryna make me
lose it? ♪
111
00:03:55,333 --> 00:03:58,291
♪ You win some
and lose some ♪
112
00:03:58,375 --> 00:03:59,791
♪ This could
get gruesome ♪
113
00:03:59,875 --> 00:04:03,166
♪ Bitch, are you tryna
make me cry? ♪
114
00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:06,791
♪ Are you tryna make me
lose it? ♪
115
00:04:06,875 --> 00:04:09,916
The assignment was to take
an everyday object
116
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,750
and look at it
in a new way,
117
00:04:11,833 --> 00:04:13,833
so that's what I did.
118
00:04:13,916 --> 00:04:15,166
Sam: Uh-huh.
119
00:04:15,250 --> 00:04:16,875
You've been, uh,
cutting too many classes.
120
00:04:16,958 --> 00:04:18,541
We're only 10 days
into the new term,
121
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:20,583
and you're failing
photography,
122
00:04:20,666 --> 00:04:23,750
which feels a little like
Picasso failing art.
123
00:04:23,833 --> 00:04:25,000
Thank you.
124
00:04:25,083 --> 00:04:26,916
Why is Picasso
failing art?
125
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,458
Is there, like, a slip you sign,
or something?
126
00:04:29,541 --> 00:04:31,291
At my high school, there was
a track and field coach
127
00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:33,333
who everyone --
everyone hated
128
00:04:33,416 --> 00:04:35,625
'cause he called kids
"weaklings,"
129
00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:37,500
like, straight up.
130
00:04:37,583 --> 00:04:40,500
One time, he, uh,
tripped a kid on purpose,
131
00:04:40,583 --> 00:04:41,791
using a pole vault pole.
132
00:04:41,875 --> 00:04:44,708
Like, he was evil.
133
00:04:44,791 --> 00:04:48,000
My point is people will always
try to crush dreams,
134
00:04:48,083 --> 00:04:49,791
so, what do you do?
135
00:04:52,666 --> 00:04:55,208
Take pictures of fruit.
[ Chuckles ]
136
00:04:55,291 --> 00:04:58,958
I get you want to blow things
up, but like, how big?
137
00:04:59,041 --> 00:05:04,041
Just 'cause you don't want to
blow yourself up in the process.
138
00:05:04,125 --> 00:05:06,166
[ Indistinct conversations
in distance ]
139
00:05:06,250 --> 00:05:10,000
♪ Bitch, are you tryna
make me cry? ♪
140
00:05:10,083 --> 00:05:11,291
♪ Are you tryna make me
lose it? ♪
141
00:05:11,375 --> 00:05:12,916
[ Horn blasts ]
142
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,541
You had to choose
the one fruit that's hairy?
143
00:05:15,625 --> 00:05:16,750
♪ Bitch -- ♪
144
00:05:16,833 --> 00:05:19,291
♪♪
145
00:05:19,375 --> 00:05:20,541
What?
146
00:05:20,625 --> 00:05:21,708
Nothing.
I like you.
147
00:05:21,791 --> 00:05:23,458
You're my sister
from another mister.
148
00:05:23,541 --> 00:05:25,916
[ Chuckles ] Why?
You just are.
149
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,166
[ Phone chimes ]
150
00:05:28,708 --> 00:05:29,875
Are you going?
151
00:05:29,958 --> 00:05:31,583
I don't know.
Are you?
152
00:05:31,666 --> 00:05:36,416
Chester: No. I am going on
a date with Cutie McCutie.
153
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:38,291
Riley:
Oh, cute. [ Chuckles ]
154
00:05:38,375 --> 00:05:40,333
And if you dial back
his nerdcon a bit...
155
00:05:40,416 --> 00:05:43,750
Like, how many stories are there
of straight people
156
00:05:43,833 --> 00:05:46,416
marrying their
high school sweethearts?
157
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:49,416
It's the queers' turn
now, baby.
158
00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:50,875
Give it to usssss!
Mwah!
159
00:05:50,958 --> 00:05:52,041
Oh, my God.
160
00:05:52,125 --> 00:05:53,583
Can I just say --
it's so great
161
00:05:53,666 --> 00:05:55,250
that you're not putting
any pressure on this.
162
00:05:55,333 --> 00:05:56,625
Oh, thank you.
Mm-hmm.
163
00:05:56,708 --> 00:05:57,833
So proud.
Whatever.
164
00:05:57,916 --> 00:05:59,250
But you are going to
"X-Files", right?
165
00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:01,583
Mm...
166
00:06:01,666 --> 00:06:03,875
No. No. Stop.
167
00:06:03,958 --> 00:06:06,125
You're going!
-Mm!
168
00:06:06,208 --> 00:06:07,833
Does Greta...
169
00:06:07,916 --> 00:06:09,250
even want me there?
170
00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:10,666
Yes.
171
00:06:11,833 --> 00:06:13,250
What was
the motel drama?
172
00:06:13,333 --> 00:06:15,833
S-She just freaked out
a little bit.
173
00:06:15,916 --> 00:06:18,125
Mnh-mnh.
Something else.
174
00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:19,541
I know you, sis.
175
00:06:19,625 --> 00:06:20,875
I don't really know
where we stand,
176
00:06:20,958 --> 00:06:23,958
or what she wants, or...
177
00:06:24,041 --> 00:06:25,625
[ Clears throat ]
178
00:06:25,708 --> 00:06:27,791
I-I don't -- I mean,
I don't know what I want.
179
00:06:27,875 --> 00:06:30,791
Whatever.
What do you think?
180
00:06:30,875 --> 00:06:33,000
I think lesbians
are exhausting.
181
00:06:33,083 --> 00:06:34,250
[ Chuckles ]
182
00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:36,250
I'm not a lesbian.
183
00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:38,083
Yeah, well, you have
that over-talky,
184
00:06:38,166 --> 00:06:41,333
smother-y lesbian
thing down.
185
00:06:41,416 --> 00:06:42,666
If that is your definition,
186
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:46,250
you are the biggest lesbian
in all of Anaheim.
187
00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:47,750
[ Tires screech ]
188
00:06:47,833 --> 00:06:49,458
♪♪
189
00:06:49,541 --> 00:06:51,750
You cunt!
190
00:06:51,833 --> 00:06:58,541
♪♪
191
00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:00,708
[ Gearshift clicks,
engine shuts off ]
192
00:07:00,791 --> 00:07:03,875
[ Dog barking in distance ]
193
00:07:03,958 --> 00:07:06,541
I can't with my parents
right now.
194
00:07:06,625 --> 00:07:08,583
[ Birds chirping ]
195
00:07:08,666 --> 00:07:10,250
Could you, uh, come in?
196
00:07:11,875 --> 00:07:13,250
[ Metal creaking ]
197
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:14,500
Chester: Oh, my God.
198
00:07:14,583 --> 00:07:15,708
Who is that?
199
00:07:15,791 --> 00:07:17,958
My dad's child bride.
200
00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:20,750
I literally thought
she went to school with us.
201
00:07:20,833 --> 00:07:22,833
Nope.
That is his girlfriend.
202
00:07:24,083 --> 00:07:26,041
Wait, so,
your mom moved out?
203
00:07:26,125 --> 00:07:29,541
No. She's not.
Come -- Come see this.
204
00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:35,791
[ Gasps ]
205
00:07:35,875 --> 00:07:39,333
What?!
206
00:07:39,416 --> 00:07:40,541
What is this?
207
00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:43,375
My mom has an inner child
named Ginnie,
208
00:07:43,458 --> 00:07:45,541
and she decided that
that inner child
209
00:07:45,625 --> 00:07:47,041
needs a place
to play, so...
210
00:07:47,125 --> 00:07:49,125
Wait, so, she's crazy?
211
00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:51,875
More just really
narcissistic.
212
00:07:51,958 --> 00:07:53,125
Or actually,
I don't know.
213
00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:55,541
Yeah, maybe --
maybe she's crazy.
214
00:07:55,625 --> 00:07:57,791
"We don't have
a Black friend."
215
00:07:57,875 --> 00:08:00,208
Okay, this is, like,
kind of fun, in --
216
00:08:00,291 --> 00:08:02,833
in a weird,
creepy kind of way.
217
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:05,166
I mean, divorce makes people
do weird things.
218
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:07,125
Like, one of my aunts
went full-on Born Again,
219
00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:08,500
and then, became
a quadruple black belt,
220
00:08:08,583 --> 00:08:12,083
but, like,
not in an empowering way.
221
00:08:12,166 --> 00:08:13,666
[ Breathes sharply ]
222
00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:15,958
I have to leave for me, but
I don't want to leave for you.
223
00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:17,291
It's okay. Go.
224
00:08:17,375 --> 00:08:18,541
You sure?
Yes. Don't be late.
225
00:08:18,625 --> 00:08:19,875
Do not worry about me.
Seriously.
226
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:22,083
She has fucked me up
so much already,
227
00:08:22,166 --> 00:08:23,833
I am beyond fuck-up-able.
228
00:08:23,916 --> 00:08:25,708
She once told me that
Santa Claus wasn't real
229
00:08:25,791 --> 00:08:28,166
just so I'd be mad
at my dad for lying.
230
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:31,541
Yes. And then, I have to watch
her be this 5-year-old,
231
00:08:31,625 --> 00:08:34,000
like, obsessively making
these finger paintings
232
00:08:34,083 --> 00:08:36,083
of rainbow hearts,
233
00:08:36,166 --> 00:08:38,541
'cause she can't find love,
and I...
234
00:08:38,625 --> 00:08:42,791
But then, I'm like, "What
would I do if I heard my husband
235
00:08:42,875 --> 00:08:46,375
banging some barely legal girl
in my own home?"
236
00:08:46,458 --> 00:08:49,041
[ Toilet flushes ]
237
00:08:54,625 --> 00:08:57,625
[ Door creaking ]
238
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,458
Hi.
239
00:09:02,541 --> 00:09:04,041
I'm Chester.
240
00:09:04,125 --> 00:09:06,625
Eh, it's --
it's so nice to meet you.
241
00:09:21,750 --> 00:09:24,083
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
I'm so sorry. I'm --
242
00:09:24,166 --> 00:09:26,208
I'm canceling my date.
No. Don't do that.
243
00:09:26,291 --> 00:09:27,500
Yes.
Don't do that.
244
00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:29,333
She's probably happy
that she overheard.
245
00:09:29,416 --> 00:09:31,250
Now, she can ignore me,
and just feel justified.
246
00:09:31,333 --> 00:09:32,958
It's fine. Ah.
247
00:09:33,041 --> 00:09:36,291
Please, go, and be happy
with your perfect boyfriend
248
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:38,166
on your perfect date,
please.
249
00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:39,583
I-I just --
250
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:43,333
I need you to go, actually,
so I know that love exists.
251
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,833
I love you.
Okay.
252
00:09:44,916 --> 00:09:46,541
So, that love exists.
253
00:09:46,625 --> 00:09:48,041
Thank you.
254
00:09:48,125 --> 00:09:49,750
[ Sighs ]
255
00:09:50,833 --> 00:09:52,583
Go to "X-Files."
256
00:09:54,708 --> 00:09:56,625
[ Door opens ]
257
00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:03,208
[ Birds chirping ]
258
00:10:07,083 --> 00:10:10,750
♪♪
259
00:10:10,833 --> 00:10:12,458
♪ Are you ready? ♪
260
00:10:12,541 --> 00:10:19,750
♪♪
261
00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:26,541
♪♪
262
00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:28,708
Ana:
I miss you.
263
00:10:28,791 --> 00:10:30,291
It's so good that you came.
264
00:10:30,375 --> 00:10:32,875
[ Singing in Spanish ]
265
00:10:32,958 --> 00:10:34,875
She's just coming over.
266
00:10:34,958 --> 00:10:36,541
Oh, yeah. [ Chuckles ]
267
00:10:36,625 --> 00:10:38,833
I just --
The apartment looks so nice.
268
00:10:38,916 --> 00:10:41,541
My sister will be back any
day, and though I used to think
269
00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:43,750
I'd rather gouge my eyes out
than live two doors down
270
00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:47,166
from her,
well, family, right?
271
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,875
[ Door opens ]
272
00:10:49,958 --> 00:10:51,791
-Hi.
-Oh, hey.
273
00:10:51,875 --> 00:10:54,083
[ Door closes ]
Greta: Hi.
274
00:10:55,208 --> 00:10:57,291
What's up?
Um. Oh, I --
275
00:10:57,375 --> 00:11:00,125
...such a fucking power move.
Well, I mean, it was just like...
276
00:11:00,208 --> 00:11:01,583
Delilah: You are a ho
in the best sense of the word.
277
00:11:01,666 --> 00:11:03,041
Arianna:
I learned from you.
278
00:11:03,125 --> 00:11:04,708
That was, like,
a life-lesson moment.
279
00:11:04,791 --> 00:11:07,375
Like, parents of the world,
if you try to control us,
280
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,750
this is what
we will do.
281
00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:10,083
-Hi.
-Hi.
282
00:11:10,166 --> 00:11:12,708
I'm Ana. Welcome to
the "X-Files" experience.
283
00:11:12,791 --> 00:11:14,208
So, is this everyone
who's coming?
284
00:11:14,291 --> 00:11:15,416
I'm gonna
start the show now.
285
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:16,916
-So, Chester's not coming?
-Oh.
286
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,750
Um, I think he's
hanging out with Bo.
287
00:11:19,833 --> 00:11:22,083
Cool. Great. Um...
Oh, my God.
288
00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:23,958
So, they've been, like,
hanging out a lot, or...
289
00:11:24,041 --> 00:11:27,208
No, I think this is
the first time, but, yeah.
290
00:11:27,291 --> 00:11:28,750
You okay?
Yeah. Totally.
291
00:11:28,833 --> 00:11:30,416
It's -- It's just,
like, weird,
292
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:32,166
'cause he's never mentioned
the voicemail, but,
293
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:35,416
like, it's fine --
For real? A cumshot on a kiwi?
294
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:36,750
No. No, no, no, no.
295
00:11:36,833 --> 00:11:38,333
It was a middle-schooler
fucking a kiwi, right?
296
00:11:38,416 --> 00:11:39,708
No, it was not.
297
00:11:39,791 --> 00:11:40,916
Delilah:
Wait, let me see.
298
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,250
Oh, this photo
is really amazing.
299
00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:44,583
-Shh!
-Oh, thank you.
300
00:11:44,666 --> 00:11:46,250
-Look.
-It's starting now.
301
00:11:46,333 --> 00:11:48,250
-Sorry. Sorry.
-This show really taught the world
302
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,791
to pay attention
to how the government lies.
303
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,625
Ana:
You are invited back.
304
00:11:51,708 --> 00:11:53,958
Nathan:
Based on today, Naomi is the best liar in the world --
305
00:11:54,041 --> 00:11:56,125
and I say that
with full respect.
306
00:11:56,208 --> 00:11:59,083
Arianna: Watch this.
Two truths and a lie, bitch.
307
00:11:59,166 --> 00:12:00,541
Go.
-Okay.
308
00:12:00,625 --> 00:12:01,958
Um, everyone in my family
309
00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:03,708
has a middle name
that starts with N.
310
00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:06,125
Once, I fractured my nose
from sneezing too hard.
311
00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:09,041
And I absorbed a triplet
in the womb.
312
00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:11,291
-Definitely three.
-You can't fracture your nose.
313
00:12:11,375 --> 00:12:13,416
-It was two.
-[ Laughs ]
314
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:17,166
Hey.
So, are you okay? Your absorbed a triplet?
315
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:18,958
Yeah. It was just, like,
my mom was --
316
00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:20,166
[ Pounding on door ]
317
00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:21,708
Man: And keep it down!
318
00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:24,083
I will when your wife stops
stealing my Amazon packages!
319
00:12:24,166 --> 00:12:25,750
Naomi: I should've
absorbed Nathan.
320
00:12:25,833 --> 00:12:27,916
But I'm telling you,
if you talk during it,
321
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,833
you will miss
crucial plot points.
322
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,916
[ Sirens wailing in distance ]
323
00:12:34,416 --> 00:12:35,958
[ Door opens ]
324
00:12:37,083 --> 00:12:38,625
[ Door closes ]
325
00:12:41,625 --> 00:12:43,750
Not into the show?
[ Chuckles ]
326
00:12:43,833 --> 00:12:48,000
I'll get into when the aliens
start torturing the people.
327
00:12:49,125 --> 00:12:53,250
And, um, uh -- how --
how was your break?
328
00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:55,583
Great. Yeah, I mean,
I don't know,
329
00:12:55,666 --> 00:12:58,000
I guess a little weird?
330
00:12:58,083 --> 00:13:03,208
My parents don't,
um...know.
331
00:13:03,291 --> 00:13:04,375
Oh.
332
00:13:04,458 --> 00:13:05,833
Yeah.
I don't know.
333
00:13:05,916 --> 00:13:07,750
We live in this world
where it's all, like,
334
00:13:07,833 --> 00:13:11,541
"Oh, you need to tell everything
to everyone all the time,"
335
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,916
and maybe it's just...
336
00:13:15,083 --> 00:13:16,500
I don't know...
337
00:13:16,583 --> 00:13:18,375
not actually always
the best thing?
338
00:13:18,458 --> 00:13:20,166
[ Phone chimes ]
339
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:22,416
-Oh!
-Oh, shit!
340
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:24,708
Are -- Are you okay?
341
00:13:24,791 --> 00:13:26,041
-Yeah.
-I told you.
342
00:13:26,125 --> 00:13:27,458
Ana: It's good.
343
00:14:08,958 --> 00:14:11,375
Delilah: Everybody,
come buy your dance tickets!
344
00:14:11,458 --> 00:14:12,916
Riley!
345
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,500
Hey, do you wanna get tickets --
-No, I can't.
346
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:19,750
Both of you close your eyes
and hold out your hands.
347
00:14:19,833 --> 00:14:21,375
-What?
-Now.
348
00:14:21,458 --> 00:14:22,666
Do it.
349
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:26,041
Open up.
350
00:14:28,208 --> 00:14:32,750
-[ Gasps ] Oh, my God!
-Oh, it's a little helix.
351
00:14:32,833 --> 00:14:35,416
Because D-N-A!
352
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,583
Oh, my gosh!
353
00:14:36,666 --> 00:14:40,166
-Come here.
-Oh!
354
00:14:40,250 --> 00:14:42,708
I seriously love
you guys so much.
355
00:14:42,791 --> 00:14:45,750
You are my bitches,
you are my hos, you're my sluts.
356
00:14:45,833 --> 00:14:47,458
I fucking love you
for life.
357
00:14:47,541 --> 00:14:49,208
Oh!
358
00:14:49,291 --> 00:14:51,291
I love this more
than life itself.
359
00:14:55,958 --> 00:14:57,958
Um, is someone
sitting here?
360
00:14:58,041 --> 00:14:59,750
Hi. No.
361
00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:01,458
Okay.
Okay, cool.
362
00:15:01,541 --> 00:15:03,708
Um, I wanted...
363
00:15:04,750 --> 00:15:05,958
I wanted to, um...
364
00:15:06,041 --> 00:15:07,458
-Hi!
-Hi!
365
00:15:07,541 --> 00:15:09,125
Hi. Um...
366
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:10,375
ca va?
367
00:15:10,458 --> 00:15:11,833
Uh, ca va.
368
00:15:13,458 --> 00:15:14,625
Oh!
369
00:15:14,708 --> 00:15:15,791
[ Mouthing words ]
370
00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:19,000
[ Woman speaking French ]
371
00:15:19,083 --> 00:15:21,666
Did you know it's because
he has bad sinuses
372
00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:23,125
that he breathes
so loudly?
373
00:15:23,208 --> 00:15:24,916
He told me one time
during French,
374
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,125
'cause I was staring,
375
00:15:26,208 --> 00:15:27,333
and he thought
I was staring
376
00:15:27,416 --> 00:15:28,833
because he was
breathing so loud.
377
00:15:28,916 --> 00:15:30,291
Are you sure you're okay
with this?
378
00:15:30,375 --> 00:15:32,333
'Cause I know you wanted
to fuck him.
379
00:15:32,416 --> 00:15:34,625
No. It's seriously fine.
380
00:15:34,708 --> 00:15:36,083
Okay.
381
00:15:36,166 --> 00:15:39,000
But the other thing I was
thinking while I was staring is,
382
00:15:39,083 --> 00:15:42,500
"How do you tell a guy
their cologne smells bad?"
383
00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:44,250
Which you have to do,
because other--
384
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:46,666
Naomi: I'm, like, open to,
like, working it out,
385
00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:47,958
because that's just, like,
386
00:15:48,041 --> 00:15:49,500
what you have to do
in a relationship.
387
00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:52,666
-Yeah.
-We literally need them in an hour.
388
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:53,958
Megan: What for?
389
00:15:54,041 --> 00:15:56,541
Naomi: For our viewing party.
Dad knows.
390
00:15:56,625 --> 00:15:59,000
Oh. Okay.
391
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,791
Apparently, he has his method
of parenting and I have mine.
392
00:16:01,875 --> 00:16:06,041
So, from now on, you must both
ask my permission, also,
393
00:16:06,125 --> 00:16:08,041
because he was not
on that FaceTime call
394
00:16:08,125 --> 00:16:09,541
when you viciously
attacked me.
395
00:16:09,625 --> 00:16:11,125
[ Doorbell rings ]
396
00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:16,333
[ Cellphone chimes ]
[ Door opens ]
397
00:16:16,416 --> 00:16:17,750
Hi.
Pastor Jeb: Megan.
398
00:16:17,833 --> 00:16:19,416
[ Door closes ]
Kids, um, Pastor Jeb, uh,
399
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:23,375
stopped by to pick up an
extra, uh, paper shredder I have.
400
00:16:23,458 --> 00:16:26,666
Hi, Nathan.
Hi, Naomi. Hi, kids.
401
00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:28,625
Well, actually,
why don't you just stay
402
00:16:28,708 --> 00:16:30,083
for a glass
of iced tea?
403
00:16:30,166 --> 00:16:31,333
Great.
Yeah. It'll be great.
404
00:16:31,416 --> 00:16:32,541
Nathan,
why don't you join us?
405
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:35,125
-I really --
-iMaravillosa!
406
00:16:35,208 --> 00:16:37,208
Oh, look, Gloria's already
set it up. She's a genius.
407
00:16:37,291 --> 00:16:38,541
[ Whispering ]
I'll pray for you. Ah, excellent.
408
00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:41,208
I just think New Year's,
you know,
409
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:43,041
it's a great time...
Okay.
410
00:16:43,125 --> 00:16:45,625
...to have a conversation
about resetting,
411
00:16:45,708 --> 00:16:47,166
about building new found--
412
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,708
Is this about the kissing video
or me being bi?
413
00:16:50,791 --> 00:16:51,916
Pastor Jeb: So...
414
00:16:53,041 --> 00:16:55,750
...it's like skiing.
415
00:16:55,833 --> 00:16:57,291
Sometimes,
you put on your skis,
416
00:16:57,375 --> 00:16:59,791
and you push yourself
down a mountain,
417
00:16:59,875 --> 00:17:02,166
and suddenly,
you're thinking,
418
00:17:02,250 --> 00:17:05,083
"This mountain is a lot steeper
than I thought..." Mm.
419
00:17:05,166 --> 00:17:07,333
"...and it's going too fast.
420
00:17:07,416 --> 00:17:10,416
And it seemed like
it was gonna be fun,
421
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,916
but I'm really not
enjoying this anymore,
422
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:17,625
and I want to stop,
but it feels like I can't."
423
00:17:18,625 --> 00:17:21,375
You ever get that feeling,
Nathan?
424
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:23,083
Not really, no.
425
00:17:23,166 --> 00:17:25,583
-Oh. Well.
-Oh, my God.
426
00:17:25,666 --> 00:17:28,625
Southern California.
Yeah.
427
00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:33,708
But I-I think your parents feel
you're experiencing pressures,
428
00:17:33,791 --> 00:17:36,458
and that's resulting
in some choices that --
429
00:17:36,541 --> 00:17:38,375
Okay, so, we are talking
about me being bi?
430
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,583
-No.
-I hate when parents lie.
431
00:17:40,666 --> 00:17:42,458
Like, they think
we can't tell?
432
00:17:42,541 --> 00:17:46,083
And we're rally coming at this
from a place of love, you know?
433
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:48,916
Nathan: Cool.
Well, I love love.
434
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,041
Actually, I think I might be
falling in love.
435
00:17:51,125 --> 00:17:54,125
Well, that's frickin'
great news. Oh, awesome.
436
00:17:54,208 --> 00:17:56,333
I mean, I was really worried
that you might be upset
437
00:17:56,416 --> 00:17:57,916
that I had a boyfriend.
438
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,416
You do not.
439
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:00,791
Who's he dating?
440
00:18:00,875 --> 00:18:03,708
I think he's lying
just to fuck with them,
441
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:06,166
which is a ballsy move.
442
00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:08,000
Though, she'll never
believe him,
443
00:18:08,083 --> 00:18:10,541
and she'll pick him apart,
and he'll start crying.
444
00:18:10,625 --> 00:18:12,208
Mm, normal.
445
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:14,208
-Shit.
-What?
446
00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:15,833
-Fuck.
-What?
447
00:18:15,916 --> 00:18:18,166
He better buy me a really
expensive gift card for this.
448
00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:19,416
What are you gonna do?
449
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:21,166
Megan: I'm not saying
that you don't have a --
450
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:22,666
a b-friend.
451
00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:24,000
I'm just saying that,
sometimes,
452
00:18:24,083 --> 00:18:27,375
you do exaggerate
for dramatic effect.
453
00:18:27,458 --> 00:18:30,000
I'm so glad you finally
told them.
454
00:18:30,083 --> 00:18:31,875
Do they know who he is?
This bitch.
455
00:18:31,958 --> 00:18:33,833
Nathan: It was such
a fucking power move.
456
00:18:33,916 --> 00:18:36,791
Naomi: And you know she was just
dying to know who it was,
457
00:18:36,875 --> 00:18:39,166
but wouldn't ask
in front of Pastor Jeb.
458
00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:41,375
You were a ho in the
best sense of the word.
459
00:18:41,458 --> 00:18:42,583
I learned from you.
460
00:18:42,666 --> 00:18:44,416
That was, like,
a life lesson moment.
461
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:47,541
Like, Parents of the World,
if you try to control us,
462
00:18:47,625 --> 00:18:49,125
this is what
we will do to you.
463
00:18:49,208 --> 00:18:50,875
-Thank you.
-Hi.
464
00:18:50,958 --> 00:18:52,375
-I'm Ana.
-Hi.
465
00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:54,208
Welcome to
the "X-Files" experience.
466
00:18:54,291 --> 00:18:55,833
Thank you so much
for having us.
467
00:18:55,916 --> 00:18:57,708
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God.
468
00:18:57,791 --> 00:19:00,041
-"X-Files"-themed food.
-So, is this everyone who's coming?
469
00:19:00,125 --> 00:19:01,333
I'm gonna
start the show now.
470
00:19:01,416 --> 00:19:04,041
Riley:
And h-how was your break?
471
00:19:04,125 --> 00:19:05,375
[ Siren wails in distance ]
472
00:19:05,458 --> 00:19:06,708
Great.
473
00:19:07,583 --> 00:19:09,208
Yeah, I mean...
474
00:19:09,291 --> 00:19:10,416
[ Wailing continues ]
475
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:13,458
I don't know,
I guess a little weird?
476
00:19:13,541 --> 00:19:17,791
My parents don't,
um...know.
477
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:20,500
Oh.
I don't know.
478
00:19:20,583 --> 00:19:23,625
We live in this world
where it's all like...
479
00:19:23,708 --> 00:19:27,125
"You have to tell everything
to everyone all the time,"
480
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:29,666
and maybe it's just...
I don't know...
481
00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:31,875
not actually always
the best thing?
482
00:19:31,958 --> 00:19:34,333
[ Phone chimes ]
483
00:19:34,416 --> 00:19:36,791
-Oh!
-Oh, shit!
484
00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:39,416
-[ Screams ]
-Oh, my God!
485
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:40,791
-Aah!
-Aah!
486
00:19:41,875 --> 00:19:43,916
Ana: I told you.
It's good, right?
487
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,666
Arianna: Oh, my God.
488
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:47,916
Are you okay?
489
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,458
Yeah. Yeah.
490
00:19:51,166 --> 00:19:53,291
Isn't he on a date?
491
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,291
Delilah: Riley! Hey!
Do you want to get --
492
00:19:56,375 --> 00:19:58,208
Riley: Sorry, I can't.
493
00:19:58,291 --> 00:19:59,750
Will you just
pin her down
494
00:19:59,833 --> 00:20:01,000
and wrap your legs
around her face already?
495
00:20:01,083 --> 00:20:03,000
[ Sighs ]
What?
496
00:20:03,083 --> 00:20:07,041
It's just, like, why is
everything always so sexual?
497
00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:10,291
Where are you going
with Bo?
498
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:13,000
Uh, roller skating,
which I'm trash at,
499
00:20:13,083 --> 00:20:15,250
but at least he'll be forced
to hold my hand.
500
00:20:15,333 --> 00:20:16,458
[ Chuckles ]
501
00:20:16,541 --> 00:20:17,791
♪♪
502
00:20:17,875 --> 00:20:19,958
Wait, you think
it's a bad choice?
503
00:20:20,041 --> 00:20:22,708
Hold up.
Are you nervous?
504
00:20:22,791 --> 00:20:23,958
Fuck you. Yes.
505
00:20:24,041 --> 00:20:25,750
Yes, I'm nervous.
506
00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:29,791
He's not some, like, older guy
who's never gonna be into me,
507
00:20:29,875 --> 00:20:33,458
or some suck-my-fisting-dick
Grindr guy -- sorry.
508
00:20:33,541 --> 00:20:38,083
He -- He's, like, actual
boyfriend material.
509
00:20:38,166 --> 00:20:40,083
Also, over the break,
I was like,
510
00:20:40,166 --> 00:20:42,375
"If I turn on the TV
and 'Love Actually' is on,
511
00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:44,125
it means
I'm marrying Bo."
512
00:20:44,208 --> 00:20:45,500
It's always on.
513
00:20:45,583 --> 00:20:46,958
What can I say?
It was on.
514
00:20:47,041 --> 00:20:49,041
It was on.
I asked the universe.
515
00:20:49,125 --> 00:20:50,291
The universe answered.
516
00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:52,416
And she was like,
"No more unrequited love
517
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,458
for you, God bless."
518
00:20:54,541 --> 00:20:56,333
[ Children squealing ]
Fuck!
519
00:20:56,416 --> 00:20:57,750
[ Vomiting ]
520
00:20:57,833 --> 00:20:59,375
Fuck.
521
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:00,791
Ah!
522
00:21:00,875 --> 00:21:03,958
Captain Hook: Alright, ye
scallywags, finish up ye nachos,
523
00:21:04,041 --> 00:21:05,791
because it's almost time
for cake.
524
00:21:05,875 --> 00:21:11,166
Boy: Can you stop talking?
You have a very annoying voice.
525
00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:12,500
Hi.
Hi.
526
00:21:12,583 --> 00:21:15,333
Are you okay?
Yes.
527
00:21:15,416 --> 00:21:16,708
I-I got us some food.
528
00:21:16,791 --> 00:21:18,291
Oh, that is so sweet.
529
00:21:18,375 --> 00:21:20,875
So, while I was in the bathroom,
cleaning up vomit,
530
00:21:20,958 --> 00:21:24,375
um, I was thinking that
you being a Taurus
531
00:21:24,458 --> 00:21:26,875
is actually the gods being like,
"Hey, bitch, pay attention
532
00:21:26,958 --> 00:21:28,750
to this,
and make it work," you know?
533
00:21:28,833 --> 00:21:30,291
'Cause I'm a Scorpio, and --
534
00:21:30,375 --> 00:21:32,250
Woman: Tyler, we do not take
our clothes off in public!
535
00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:35,375
Miss G-- Miss Google was saying,
like, Scorpio and Taurus,
536
00:21:35,458 --> 00:21:37,416
they share
a personal belief system
537
00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:40,166
that goes deeper than
the bottom of the ocean.
538
00:21:40,250 --> 00:21:41,958
She also said, like,
for physical pleasure,
539
00:21:42,041 --> 00:21:43,625
expect
"crackling chemistry,"
540
00:21:43,708 --> 00:21:45,916
but maybe I won't
bring that up just yet.
541
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,375
Yeah, I don't know,
it's just, like,
542
00:21:47,458 --> 00:21:49,875
the whole thought of u-us
meeting on the roof.
543
00:21:49,958 --> 00:21:52,041
Like, I-I feel like
the universe
544
00:21:52,125 --> 00:21:54,625
is telling me to take this
seriously and pursue it,
545
00:21:54,708 --> 00:21:56,166
either till it's, like,
the end-all-be-all,
546
00:21:56,250 --> 00:21:58,083
or until it all falls apart,
and one of us gets,
547
00:21:58,166 --> 00:21:59,625
like, epically hurt --
548
00:22:01,083 --> 00:22:02,166
Oh, my God.
549
00:22:02,250 --> 00:22:05,375
Uh. I'm so sorry.
550
00:22:06,708 --> 00:22:08,208
Captain Hook: Please
don't pull off me hook.
551
00:22:08,291 --> 00:22:11,083
My friend wants to know --
are you Jewish?
552
00:22:11,166 --> 00:22:13,875
Girl: Your teeth
are very yellow.
553
00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:16,916
[ Indistinct conversations ]
554
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,541
Man: Ah.
What did I have in this hat?!
555
00:22:19,625 --> 00:22:20,750
Bo: Uh.
556
00:22:20,833 --> 00:22:22,000
Are you okay?
Sorry.
557
00:22:22,083 --> 00:22:23,583
No, no.
That's...
558
00:22:25,208 --> 00:22:26,416
[ Cellphone vibrating ]
559
00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:28,791
-Whoo!
-Oh, very smart.
560
00:22:28,875 --> 00:22:31,625
My -- My mom's calling.
Yeah. Yeah.
561
00:22:31,708 --> 00:22:33,041
Hi, Mom.
562
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,750
Presto chango!
563
00:22:35,833 --> 00:22:37,208
Oh.
564
00:22:37,291 --> 00:22:38,791
Do I have to?
[ Chuckles ]
565
00:22:40,541 --> 00:22:41,666
Okay.
566
00:22:42,833 --> 00:22:45,875
I'm so sorry, but, um...
567
00:22:45,958 --> 00:22:48,000
my -- my mom...
568
00:22:48,083 --> 00:22:49,375
needs me to
come home early,
569
00:22:49,458 --> 00:22:50,916
'cause she has
this emergency work,
570
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:55,166
like, PowerPoint presentation,
and she needs my help with it
571
00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:57,500
'cause she can't...
572
00:22:57,583 --> 00:23:00,250
do, um...
573
00:23:01,250 --> 00:23:02,625
...technology.
574
00:23:02,708 --> 00:23:04,791
S-So, yeah..
575
00:23:04,875 --> 00:23:13,416
♪♪
576
00:23:13,500 --> 00:23:14,750
Okay.
577
00:23:14,833 --> 00:23:21,041
♪♪
578
00:23:21,125 --> 00:23:23,166
[ Child squealing in distance ]
579
00:23:23,250 --> 00:23:25,083
♪ Underneath it all ♪
580
00:23:25,166 --> 00:23:29,250
♪♪
581
00:23:29,333 --> 00:23:32,125
♪ I feel a sadness ♪
582
00:23:32,208 --> 00:23:35,041
♪♪
583
00:23:35,125 --> 00:23:36,416
[ Line ringing ]
584
00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:37,791
♪ But there's
something beautiful ♪
585
00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:41,666
-Hello.
-It was shit, and I hate life.
586
00:23:41,750 --> 00:23:43,666
Riley: I'm sorry.
587
00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:45,166
Come up here.
588
00:23:45,250 --> 00:23:47,000
Eat some cupcakes,
589
00:23:47,083 --> 00:23:51,458
watch some people
get abducted by aliens,
590
00:23:51,541 --> 00:23:55,583
and know that everybody up here
really loves you.
591
00:23:55,666 --> 00:23:56,958
Okay.
592
00:23:57,041 --> 00:24:00,333
♪ I'm torn apart ♪
593
00:24:00,416 --> 00:24:02,666
It sucked.
Don't -- Don't ask.
594
00:24:02,750 --> 00:24:04,166
[ Door closes ]
595
00:24:04,250 --> 00:24:05,833
I forgive you
for being so late.
596
00:24:05,916 --> 00:24:07,333
Oh, my gosh.
597
00:24:07,416 --> 00:24:08,625
There.
598
00:24:08,708 --> 00:24:11,000
Nathan: Dude, do you want me
to run it back?
599
00:24:11,083 --> 00:24:12,625
No, that's okay.
600
00:24:12,708 --> 00:24:14,416
Here you go.
601
00:24:14,500 --> 00:24:17,125
-Something like what?
-I don't know.
602
00:24:17,208 --> 00:24:19,458
This is your Federal Bureau
of Impossible Burger, okay?
603
00:24:19,541 --> 00:24:20,750
Oh.
604
00:24:20,833 --> 00:24:21,875
Thank you.
605
00:24:21,958 --> 00:24:23,833
-Yeah.
-Does that look like...
606
00:24:23,916 --> 00:24:26,666
Here's a, um, ginger
[Chuckling] alien drink.
607
00:24:26,750 --> 00:24:27,708
Woman on TV: Yes.
608
00:24:27,791 --> 00:24:29,083
♪♪
609
00:24:29,166 --> 00:24:30,666
[ Chuckles ]
610
00:24:30,750 --> 00:24:34,000
I don't know,but I'm going to find out.
611
00:24:34,083 --> 00:24:35,541
♪♪
612
00:24:35,625 --> 00:24:37,416
[ Indistinct talking on TV ]
613
00:24:37,500 --> 00:24:38,750
[ Sighs ]
614
00:24:38,833 --> 00:24:41,708
♪ 'Cause I'm a lonely man ♪
615
00:24:41,791 --> 00:24:42,875
I'm sorry.
616
00:24:42,958 --> 00:24:45,208
[ Indistinct talking on TV ]
617
00:24:45,291 --> 00:24:47,708
Are you?
Man on TV: Why am Iless responsible?
618
00:24:47,791 --> 00:24:50,291
'Cause I knowyou're gonna have my back.
619
00:24:50,375 --> 00:24:53,500
I-I, um -- I-I really wanted not
to have left that voicemail.
620
00:24:53,583 --> 00:24:54,958
[ Chuckles ] Like -- Like,
621
00:24:55,041 --> 00:24:56,083
as soon as I left it,
I was like,
622
00:24:56,166 --> 00:24:57,583
"Ooh, fuck."
623
00:24:57,666 --> 00:24:59,208
Yeah.
624
00:24:59,291 --> 00:25:01,125
No, i-it's all good.
625
00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:04,208
I just -- Like, I --
626
00:25:04,291 --> 00:25:09,208
You know it's never gonna
be like that for us, right?
627
00:25:09,291 --> 00:25:10,750
Yeah. No, I know.
628
00:25:10,833 --> 00:25:12,875
I-I was just, like,
on drugs that day.
629
00:25:12,958 --> 00:25:14,750
No, you weren't.
630
00:25:14,833 --> 00:25:16,083
No, I-I wasn't.
631
00:25:16,166 --> 00:25:17,125
♪♪
632
00:25:17,208 --> 00:25:18,291
[ Chuckles ]
633
00:25:18,375 --> 00:25:20,666
Um, but, like,
more than anything,
634
00:25:20,750 --> 00:25:25,875
I-I really just want it to,
like, not be weird between us.
635
00:25:25,958 --> 00:25:27,583
Yes. Yes. I don't want it
to be weird, either.
636
00:25:27,666 --> 00:25:31,583
Like, you're sweet and funny,
and I like you.
637
00:25:31,666 --> 00:25:36,208
Like, seriously, who wouldn't
wanna fuck their clone
638
00:25:36,291 --> 00:25:37,500
if their clone was you?
Oh, God.
639
00:25:37,583 --> 00:25:39,083
J: I think the
whole premise is that
640
00:25:39,166 --> 00:25:42,750
there's a truth that exists,
but, I don't know, does it?
641
00:25:42,833 --> 00:25:45,208
[ Indistinct talking on TV ]
642
00:25:45,291 --> 00:25:46,625
Um...Okay.
643
00:25:46,708 --> 00:25:48,458
Th-- This --
This might be a weird question,
644
00:25:48,541 --> 00:25:50,500
but, like, hopefully not, 'cause
we just talked about everything
645
00:25:50,583 --> 00:25:52,583
and I'm, like,
super clear about us,
646
00:25:52,666 --> 00:25:55,416
and there not
being an us.
647
00:25:55,500 --> 00:25:57,666
But -- But basically...
648
00:25:57,750 --> 00:25:59,375
I had this whole thing
with my mom, and she was,
649
00:25:59,458 --> 00:26:00,750
like, freaking out, and so,
I decided to mess with her,
650
00:26:00,833 --> 00:26:02,791
and I told her
I have a boyfriend.
651
00:26:02,875 --> 00:26:04,791
Wait.
Who's your boyfriend?
652
00:26:04,875 --> 00:26:06,000
Oh.
Oh, I don't have one.
653
00:26:06,083 --> 00:26:07,541
I just said that
to fuck with her.
654
00:26:07,625 --> 00:26:08,833
Impressive.
655
00:26:08,916 --> 00:26:10,791
Thanks.
656
00:26:10,875 --> 00:26:14,125
Um, so -- so, basically,
the -- the question is...
657
00:26:15,708 --> 00:26:19,000
...would you ever, like...
I don't know, like,
658
00:26:19,083 --> 00:26:21,458
like, hug me or something
in front of my mom,
659
00:26:21,541 --> 00:26:24,041
so she doesn't think
I'm lying?
660
00:26:24,125 --> 00:26:26,916
You...You want me,
as your friend,
661
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,583
to pretend to be
your boyfriend?
662
00:26:30,666 --> 00:26:32,541
Sort of?
[ Chuckles ]
663
00:26:32,625 --> 00:26:36,000
Won't that be confusing
for you?
664
00:26:36,083 --> 00:26:37,500
No. Definitely not.
665
00:26:40,041 --> 00:26:42,833
So, I would be helping out
a friend,
666
00:26:42,916 --> 00:26:45,250
but also messing with
667
00:26:45,333 --> 00:26:48,041
a homophobic Evangelical
white woman?
668
00:26:48,125 --> 00:26:50,416
♪♪
669
00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:52,083
-Bye.
-Bye.
670
00:26:52,166 --> 00:26:54,166
-Bye.
-Wait, wait, wait.
671
00:26:54,250 --> 00:26:56,625
-Can she see me?
-Yep.
672
00:26:56,708 --> 00:26:58,041
Nathan:
Is her head exploding?
673
00:26:58,125 --> 00:26:59,500
-Yep.
-Thank you.
674
00:26:59,583 --> 00:27:02,000
You're seriously
such a good friend.
675
00:27:02,083 --> 00:27:04,750
How bad do you want
to mess with her?
676
00:27:04,833 --> 00:27:06,000
Really bad.
677
00:27:06,083 --> 00:27:07,458
Are you sure?
678
00:27:09,458 --> 00:27:19,041
♪♪
679
00:27:19,125 --> 00:27:20,416
[ Laughs ]
680
00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:24,833
-Shake 'em!
-Whoo! [ Laughs ]
681
00:27:24,916 --> 00:27:26,291
♪ This was never ♪
682
00:27:26,375 --> 00:27:28,416
Whoo!
♪ The way I planned ♪
683
00:27:28,500 --> 00:27:29,375
Yeah!
684
00:27:29,458 --> 00:27:30,833
♪ Not my intention ♪
685
00:27:30,916 --> 00:27:32,416
[ Cheers in distance ]
686
00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:36,375
♪ I got so brave,
drink in hand ♪
687
00:27:36,458 --> 00:27:39,625
♪ Lost my discretion ♪
Whoo!
688
00:27:39,708 --> 00:27:43,708
♪ It's not what good boys do
♪ Whoo! Whoo!
689
00:27:43,791 --> 00:27:47,291
♪ Not how they should behave ♪
690
00:27:47,375 --> 00:27:51,250
♪ My head gets so confused ♪
Oh!
691
00:27:51,333 --> 00:27:54,583
♪ Hard to obey ♪
692
00:27:54,666 --> 00:27:58,000
♪ I kissed a boy,
and I liked it ♪
693
00:27:58,083 --> 00:28:01,791
♪ The taste of his
cherry ChapStick ♪
694
00:28:01,875 --> 00:28:05,416
♪ I kissed a boy
just to try it ♪
695
00:28:05,500 --> 00:28:09,250
♪ I hope my girlfriend
don't mind it ♪
696
00:28:09,333 --> 00:28:11,333
♪ It felt so wrong ♪
697
00:28:11,416 --> 00:28:12,958
♪ It felt so right ♪
698
00:28:13,041 --> 00:28:16,583
♪ Don't mean
I'm in love tonight ♪
699
00:28:16,666 --> 00:28:21,250
♪ I kissed a boy,
and I liked it ♪
700
00:28:21,333 --> 00:28:22,250
♪♪
701
00:28:22,333 --> 00:28:25,208
♪ I liked it ♪
702
00:28:25,291 --> 00:28:27,541
♪♪
703
00:28:27,625 --> 00:28:29,750
♪ Not how they
should behave ♪
704
00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:33,791
♪ My head gets so confused ♪
705
00:28:33,875 --> 00:28:37,125
♪ Hard to obey ♪
706
00:28:37,208 --> 00:28:40,708
♪ I kissed a boy,
and I liked it ♪
707
00:28:40,791 --> 00:28:44,500
♪ The taste of his
cherry ChapStick ♪
708
00:28:44,583 --> 00:28:48,083
♪ I kissed a boy
just to try it ♪
709
00:28:48,166 --> 00:28:52,083
♪ I hope my girlfriend
don't mind it ♪
710
00:28:52,166 --> 00:28:53,958
♪ It felt so wrong ♪
711
00:28:54,041 --> 00:28:55,958
♪ It felt so right ♪
712
00:28:56,041 --> 00:28:59,541
♪ Don't mean
I'm in love tonight ♪
713
00:28:59,625 --> 00:29:04,416
♪ I kissed a boy,
and I liked it ♪
714
00:29:04,500 --> 00:29:05,333
♪♪
715
00:29:05,416 --> 00:29:08,916
♪ I liked it ♪
716
00:29:08,966 --> 00:29:13,516
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
50238
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
