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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:04,500 ♪[opening title music]♪ 2 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:52,000 - [music playing] - [door opening] 3 00:00:52,900 --> 00:00:54,600 - Vera, what the hell are you... 4 00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:58,000 - Sophie! How are you doing, pet? 5 00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:01,000 - I was just in the neighbourhood on business and I thought... 6 00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:05,400 - Get out of my house! 7 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:12,400 - Aww, Sophie, what's wrong, hun? [gasps] Aww, trouble at work? 8 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,000 - No wait, that would actually mean you'd been employed by someone. 9 00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:18,000 - Accidentally trip a mousetrap? 10 00:01:18,150 --> 00:01:23,100 - Actually, crap-for-brains here went and... - I have just been great! 11 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,000 - Just took a trip to Russia. Business, of course. 12 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:30,700 - Oil Barons there. Very nice. Very generous. 13 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:37,000 - Very sensitive hearts though. Much too easy to...break them. 14 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,650 - [gasp] You know, you should really go there! 15 00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:44,200 - I hear mail-order brides earn just hundreds of rubles. 16 00:01:45,650 --> 00:01:49,600 - Oh, I didn't realise you were about to trim your nails. I'll leave you be. 17 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:57,000 - Oh, watch out for that one, he's a tiger! Roar! [laughing] Ciao! 18 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,000 - [door opening and closing] 19 00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:08,000 - Careful with that, Soph. You'll hurt yourself. 20 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:18,000 - [knife chopping] - [LUCKY] [humming] 21 00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:31,900 - [stirring] 22 00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:42,700 - [JACK] Er... 23 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:51,300 - When life gives you lemons, squirt them in the fucker's face! 24 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:56,900 - Or...lemonade? Watcha gonna do when you get thirsty, aye? 25 00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:07,300 - [glug] - [LUCKY] [gasp] 26 00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:10,800 - Erm... - [JACK] [coughing and spluttering] 27 00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:21,450 - I...I just don't know what to do! I don't know how to get out of this. 28 00:03:21,550 --> 00:03:24,600 - Maybe you don't have to get out of it. Just keep your head down. 29 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:30,600 - No, Black has a real hard on to kill me. We're going to end up shooting each other's face off. 30 00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:34,100 - Really? - Or spleens. Whatever. 31 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,700 - Oh, calm down, Black is harmless. Besides, Cameron really likes you. 32 00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:40,300 - Not exactly reassuring me with that one. 33 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,800 - [rattling] 34 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,000 - Why does you purse sound like maracas? 35 00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:52,800 - [CANDY] Lucky... - Holy shit. 36 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,050 - You've like enough Oxycontin to kill, like...twelve Anna Nicola Smiths. 37 00:03:56,150 --> 00:03:57,450 - It's for a friend. 38 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,300 - You friends with bears now? 39 00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:04,000 - I mean that in the, er... animal sense, not porn sense. 40 00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:07,000 - Oh my god, there you go judging again. - I'm not judging anything! 41 00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:10,500 - Yes you are. You're treating me like some...I'm some sort of fucking crack whore! 42 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:13,600 - Candy...you're way too needy to be a crack whore. 43 00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:19,700 - Jeez, Lucky, I said it's for a friend. - Pill-popping bouncer douchebag? 44 00:04:19,850 --> 00:04:24,300 - His name is Trevor. - His name is Commander Dickweed... 45 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:28,300 - and will remain Commander Dickweed. - You can be a real douche to people. 46 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:32,700 - And you love dating dicks! Big hard dicks! 47 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:35,500 - Yes, the bigger, the harder, the better! 48 00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:41,600 - I'm gonna get going. - ...I'll go to. 49 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,900 - [car horn] 50 00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:56,400 - Asshole. 51 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:05,850 - Afternoon, ma'am. Detective Rodriguez, FBI. 52 00:05:05,950 --> 00:05:09,450 - Could I have a word? - Alright. 53 00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:14,200 - So, been to any parties lately? 54 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:21,200 - I haven't. Way too much paperwork. 55 00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:26,800 - Can you believe somebody tried to kill a drug lord at a party? 56 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:31,200 - Bodyguards and armed friends everywhere. 57 00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:34,800 - Course, they probably got a helping of lead for their troubles. 58 00:05:35,050 --> 00:05:39,000 - Probably at the bottom of a bay by now. - I don't know what you are talking about. 59 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:42,300 - Ms. Roja, I've already talked to the witnesses. 60 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:46,100 - They say that you shot him. Alvarez used you as a shield. 61 00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:50,200 - I don't care about that. It's Alvarez that I want. 62 00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:54,300 - I can't help you. 63 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:57,700 - You know, I talked to the eggheads that do the paper trails. 64 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:04,200 - They say Alvarez was trying to dump all of his helpings onto someone new in his circle. 65 00:06:04,550 --> 00:06:08,500 - By the way, get any really big gifts lately? 66 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,300 - I've gotta go. 67 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:20,300 - Look, nobody wants to see you go down for this. 68 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:24,850 - But if you don't help me, or you won't help me... 69 00:06:24,950 --> 00:06:30,000 -I'm gonna have to start looking at you in a whole nother light. 70 00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:33,800 - I've gotta go. 71 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:43,300 - Alright, but if you change you mind, do give me a call. 72 00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:46,700 - Thank you, Ms. Roja. - [car door closing] 73 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,700 - [blowing nose] 74 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,600 - [coughing] 75 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,000 - Erm, Jack? 76 00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:21,900 - [JACK] Yep. - I think someone's kidnapped David. 77 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:27,800 - [sigh] Christ. - [LUCKY] Are we supposed to do something? 78 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,350 - Get something to eat, I suppose. [cough]. 79 00:07:33,450 --> 00:07:36,500 - Don't you normally, like, call, the police in this situation? 80 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,900 - [JACK] Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah! Can't do that. 81 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:46,300 - If we call the police, spelt with an 'X', then... 82 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:50,300 - "We will kill David real hard and then torture him bad and"... 83 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,650 - "we will know if you try cause our hackers have hacked the police cops,"... 84 00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:57,400 - "so they can't get calls about David. But if something goes wrong"... 85 00:07:57,500 --> 00:08:00,400 - "like there's a fire or something, then you can still call the police"... 86 00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:05,800 - "and if the fire gets you then you should stop, drop and roll." 87 00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:10,000 - [LUCKY] But... - Oh, it's very simple. 88 00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:14,300 - David, our "badass and super-cool"... - [DAVID V.O.] best friend forever... 89 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,600 - [DAVID V.O.] has been kidnapped by an evil wizard. 90 00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:20,400 - [DAVID V.O.] And if you still care about him, like, even at all anymore... 91 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,850 - [DAVID V.O.] then you have to do a real, epic quest to save him. 92 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:27,000 - [DAVID V.O.] like 'Lord of the Rings' but with less stupid talking and more ninjas. 93 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:41,500 - But we've got some time. Lunch? 94 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,000 ♪[jovial music]♪ 95 00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:50,400 - [SOPHIE] I was the best. People...begged...me. 96 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:55,900 - Men fell on their knees to hire me. 97 00:08:56,200 --> 00:09:00,100 - And now, look at me now. Now, I'm... 98 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,600 - [slam] - Listen to me while I bitch about my life! 99 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,000 - Ugh! 100 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:16,500 - Sophie, maybe...maybe it's time you got back on the horse, you know? 101 00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:19,400 - Thought about...thought about dating? 102 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:23,900 - I mean, someone with better impulse control? 103 00:09:24,900 --> 00:09:28,000 - [JEREMY] I'm just saying! Maybe if you had someone who... 104 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:34,300 - was a bit more...obedient. Less irrational, irresponsibile and... 105 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:40,050 - totally not fun, then you might not sink into your armadillo armour of despair... 106 00:09:40,150 --> 00:09:43,500 - every time something goes wrong. Now... 107 00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:48,600 - Important things. 108 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,700 - What are we playing? 109 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,600 - There's a riddle on the back. 110 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,500 - [JACK] Ugh!! 111 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,000 - Go ahead. 112 00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:27,400 - "You must find the guy with one eye who says "Arr" at the Pav-lion." 113 00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:31,000 - Pav-lion? "Is where he...'arr'?!" 114 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,400 - [sigh] It's a bloody enigma. 115 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,700 - What's up? 116 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:45,200 - Mmm, nothing. It's just kinda nice to do something normal. 117 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,400 - Normal? 118 00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:53,500 - You're on a scavenger hunt to rescue your kidnapped friend from a dark wizard. 119 00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:57,100 - What the hell were you doing before you came here?! 120 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:02,000 - [SUIT GUY] It's everything. The houses, the accounts... 121 00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:06,700 - the boats, the companies, the businesses. It doesn't matter how clever you accountants are. 122 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:11,100 - There is too much to hide. The paper trail's too long. 123 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:16,100 - Change it! Hide it, burn it, fix it! I don't care! 124 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,200 - What do I pay you?! Do something! 125 00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:23,500 - Fuck. Isn't there anything we can do? 126 00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:27,500 - What if we put it under somebody else's name? 127 00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:35,800 - You mean, transfer everything to somebody else? Put everything under their name? 128 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,300 - Yeah, we'll make it look like they are running the show. 129 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:46,300 - Maybe. It's wouldn't fool anybody. But it will get rid of a lot of evidence. 130 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,700 - Has to be plausible though. Has to be somebody close. 131 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:55,500 - Do you have anybody in mind? - Yeah, I've got an idea. 132 00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:13,200 - [heavy breathing] - [knife slicing] 133 00:12:21,850 --> 00:12:25,000 - Hey, somebody's a little bit jumpy, huh? 134 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,750 - Nicotine craving. 135 00:12:28,850 --> 00:12:32,400 - Why don't you get a cigarette from Black? He's around here somewhere. 136 00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:35,900 - No, thank you. - What's the matter? You don't like Black? 137 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:47,300 - No, I don't like Black. He's the type of guy who can... 138 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:51,800 - kill someone and then make himself a fucking sandwich. 139 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:57,500 - [CAMERON] Alright, that's true, but he's a useful guy to have around when you need him. 140 00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:02,600 - Everyone's a useful guy to have around when you need him. 141 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,400 - So, do you want me to get rid of him for you? 142 00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:09,900 ♪[title music]♪ 143 00:13:15,250 --> 00:13:17,250 - Er, actually... 144 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:24,800 - I was thinking that, maybe I... 145 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:33,900 - I think... I should look for another job. 146 00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:44,000 - What's the matter? You're not happy here? 147 00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:47,400 - [CAMERON] Don't I make you happy? 148 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,900 - Erm... ♪[dramatic music]♪ 149 00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:57,700 - I'm...I'm your cook. 150 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,500 - I don't even know how that's relevant. 151 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,000 - Don't be so fucking stupid! - [glass smash] 152 00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:06,300 - You think I fucking hire you to be my cook?! 153 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:11,150 - No. I hired you 'cause you're what I need right now. 154 00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:18,200 - You're honest with me. I'm surrounded by fucking groupies, yes-men, little, lying motherfuckers. 155 00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:22,400 - But not you. I can trust you. 156 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,800 - And you. You can trust me. 157 00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:35,400 - Don't you turn away from me! - [slap] 158 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,600 - [gasp] - Not you, Lucky. Not you. 159 00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,900 - [CAMERON] Clear up this fucking mess. 160 00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:52,600 - Get in the car. 161 00:14:57,300 --> 00:15:00,800 - [LUCKY] That actually is really pretty. 162 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:05,000 - Once you get inside it looks like a cheap Chinese restuarant. 163 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,400 - [clearing throat] Greetings... 164 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,250 - [pirate voice] Arr! Greetings, yeh landlubbers! 165 00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:20,350 - D'ya seek yer best doubloon, David? 166 00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:26,100 - Arr, well on your quest ye shall 'ave a need o' this! 167 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,600 - But before we can have it... 168 00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:32,200 - Arr! But before ye can have it, ye must solve a riddle! 169 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:40,200 - Or your first mate will be damned to Scurvy Jones Locker! 170 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,900 - 'Arr'right then. 171 00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:47,500 - The riddle? 172 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:53,000 - Arr! It is greater than God, is more evil than the devil... 173 00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:59,600 - the poor have it, the rich need it and if you eat it, you'll die. What is it? 174 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:04,500 - [LUCKY] It's nothing. It's nothing. 175 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:10,400 - [LUCKY] Nothing is greater than God, nothing is more evil than the devil... 176 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:14,600 - the rich need nothing, the poor have nothing and if you eat nothing, you'll die. 177 00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:25,000 - Arr! Ye be true! Take ye prezzie and present it to the green fairy...at the pier! 178 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:32,300 ♪[gaming music]♪ 179 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,400 - [V.O.] Jeremy wins! - [SOPHIE] This is bullshit! 180 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:53,000 - This game is bullshit! 181 00:16:55,150 --> 00:16:58,600 - Practise makes perfect, dear sister. 182 00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:06,500 - [laughing] Practise? What the fuck kinda loser practises this shit?! 183 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:14,000 - I've spent my life acquiring actual skills that can be used to kill actual people. 184 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:19,350 - Not this made-up, bouncy...bullshit! 185 00:17:19,450 --> 00:17:23,050 - The artful, Yoshimitsu. 186 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,700 - Yoshi-fuck-you! 187 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:31,800 - Yes, studying how to kill people. Mum must be so proud. 188 00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:39,450 - Proud enough to beg me to protect you against some stupid, imaginary internet dangers... 189 00:17:39,550 --> 00:17:43,900 - Hey! Now those Chinese students, they're a real threat, Sophie! 190 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:48,800 - I called them out on their propaganda lies and now my life is in danger. 191 00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:52,400 - So yeah, maybe I wouldn't need your help if I could do some of the things... 192 00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:55,000 - that you can do. It's not the point. 193 00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:02,400 - Alright then. - Alright then, what? 194 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:08,700 - Alright, I'm gonna teach you some skills you can use. 195 00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:14,750 - Thank... - No. 196 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:20,100 - Check me out! [battle scream] 197 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:25,000 - OK. Now turn this crap off. 198 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,200 - [car engine running] 199 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:54,400 - Pass me the gun. Back seat. 200 00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:11,800 - Wait here. - [car door opening] 201 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,100 - [car door shutting] ♪[dramatic music]♪ 202 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,500 - [grunting] [heavy breathing] 203 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,500 - [boot shutting] 204 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:44,100 - [car door opening] - [heavy breathing] 205 00:19:45,700 --> 00:19:48,300 - [car door closing] - Let's go. 206 00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:13,100 - Hello, my turtle doves! My young loves! 207 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:17,900 - What brings such a beautiful couple to this pier of whimsy? 208 00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:21,900 - We're searching for our friend, David. 209 00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:26,150 - Oh, might you be searching for your friend, David? 210 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,400 - I...yes. 211 00:20:31,150 --> 00:20:36,750 - Well, to find him you must see, and to see, you must stop not seeing. 212 00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:40,500 - [JACK] What? - Eye patch. 213 00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:46,200 - Oh, right... - [FAIRY] Oh, frabtitionous joy! 214 00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:50,600 - Now, my wiggly-squigglyens, you may answer my little riddle-diddle... 215 00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:54,000 - and get these adorable little glasses! 216 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:59,800 - [FAIRY] I am the beginning of the end, and the end of time and space. 217 00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:07,000 - I'm essential to creation and surround every place. What am I? 218 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,800 - The Letter 'E'. - [FAIRY] Yes, yes, that's it! 219 00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:29,900 - [FAIRY] Now, my loves, you must go to the ferris wheel. 220 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:37,500 - There's a precious, little princess there! A bundle of joy! You must go and speak to her. 221 00:21:48,700 --> 00:21:50,700 ♪[marching drum music]♪ 222 00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:56,000 - Suspects intergrating with a number of bizzare vagrants. 223 00:21:56,100 --> 00:21:59,000 - Seem to be in search of their missing 'David'. 224 00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:04,500 - [OLLIE] People in bizzare costumes are exchanging strange substances in glasses. 225 00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:08,800 - Probably some sort of brand-new superdrug. 226 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,700 - Could this be the elusive 'David'... 227 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,500 - Ooh! Oysters! 228 00:22:17,700 --> 00:22:23,200 - [SOPHIE] Now, Jeremy. You remember what happened the last time... 229 00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:26,400 - you got hold of a weapon? 230 00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:30,600 - Yeah, took down one of the world's most deadliest assassins. 231 00:22:30,700 --> 00:22:32,300 - [blade slashing] - [screaming] 232 00:22:34,900 --> 00:22:38,400 - [laughing]...Sorry. 233 00:22:39,300 --> 00:22:44,300 - Well, since you managed to screw up a simple blade,... 234 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:49,400 - we're going to start very slowly. 235 00:22:50,100 --> 00:22:58,400 - Now, before I let you touch anything, we're going to go over some basic safety precautions... 236 00:22:58,500 --> 00:23:02,050 - Oh sweet! Is this one of those sleeping darts you lob at people?! 237 00:23:02,150 --> 00:23:05,600 - Like...[throwing sound]. And they're like...just... 238 00:23:11,300 --> 00:23:13,800 - [sigh] 239 00:23:14,300 --> 00:23:19,300 - Then you bring back the grain and bring the chicken over. 240 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:28,200 - Greetings, wanderers. I am a princess from a far-away country. 241 00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:36,250 - Behold my magic stick...Which will grant ye access to your final destination. 242 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:42,050 - [PRINCESS] But first, ye must... 243 00:23:42,150 --> 00:23:45,650 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, riddle. Riddle. Come on. 244 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:56,850 - The man who makes it doesn't want it. The man who wants it doesn't use it. 245 00:23:57,350 --> 00:24:04,000 - The man who's using it doesn't know he is using it. What is it? 246 00:24:08,350 --> 00:24:10,350 - A coffin. 247 00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:15,300 - [groaning and spluttering] 248 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,900 - Hello, Leon. 249 00:24:21,100 --> 00:24:26,300 - Now, Cameron didn't really appreciate your little gatecrashing. 250 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,800 - [punch] [groaning] - Found it rather impolite. 251 00:24:29,900 --> 00:24:34,100 - So, we thought we'd come pay you a little visit. 252 00:24:34,300 --> 00:24:37,500 - [punch] [groaning] - See how you like it! 253 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:41,800 - [in Spanish] You son of a bitch! [English] I'm gonna kill you! 254 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,500 - [LEON] You wouldn't fucking dare! 255 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,100 - [gunshot] - [LUCKY] [scream] 256 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:31,300 - Here's your magic stick. 257 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:38,000 - Now you have to find the evil wizard. He's on the beach somewhere. 258 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,000 - [WIZARD] Ho there, wanderers! 259 00:25:53,100 --> 00:25:57,400 - Impressed art I that thou have gained such wisdom! 260 00:25:57,500 --> 00:26:04,500 - Surely thou musteth loveth thine friend most indubitably to have travelléd so fareth! 261 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:12,300 - [gasp] A bargain! Thine friend shall be released, if thy doth parteth with yon sceptre. 262 00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:15,600 - What? - [WIZARD] Yon sceptre. 263 00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:17,700 - Giveth for thy friend. 264 00:26:21,350 --> 00:26:27,850 - Aha! Alas, you foolish cad! I wrought deception! 265 00:26:27,950 --> 00:26:32,200 - Now, with yon sceptre, I can ruleth the universe! 266 00:26:32,300 --> 00:26:37,000 - Beholdeth my ninja army! 267 00:26:37,100 --> 00:26:39,100 - [DAVID] Nooo!! ♪[battle music]♪ 268 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,100 - [slashing] - [groaning] 269 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:52,800 - [slow motion] Nooo!! 270 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,500 - No! - [WIZARD] [evil laughter] 271 00:26:57,250 --> 00:27:02,200 - [WIZARD] But this doth be impossible! What dark power doth thou possesseth?! 272 00:27:02,700 --> 00:27:04,700 - The power of friendship! 273 00:27:05,700 --> 00:27:10,800 - Agh! Alas, my nefarious plans thwarted! 274 00:27:10,900 --> 00:27:16,400 - However did I thinketh I could conquer thee, O magnificent and badass one?! 275 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:22,000 - [DAVID] Victory! - [WIZARD] Agh! I am vanquished! 276 00:27:22,100 --> 00:27:27,350 - [sobbing] If only I hadeth a friend as valiant and bitchin'! 277 00:27:27,450 --> 00:27:33,800 - Thine friends shouldeth be grateful to haveth such an awesome, chill dude sucheth as thee! 278 00:27:33,900 --> 00:27:40,400 - They shouldeth stop doing stuff and ditching thou doing cool stuff withouteth thee. 279 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:46,200 - I think you're right, wizard. I think you're right. 280 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:51,000 - [JACK] Well, conquering hero... 281 00:27:52,450 --> 00:27:54,300 - D'ya wanna come back and play Call of Duty? 282 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:55,900 - Fuck yeah! 283 00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,000 ♪[piano music]♪ 284 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:24,400 ♪[ending title music]♪ 24870

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