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1
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♪[opening title music]♪
2
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- [laughing]
3
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- [slam]
- Fifteen violations in thirty days!
4
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,280
- Sir...
- Shut up.
5
00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:12,800
- Warrantless surveillance, illegal
wire-tapping, and the slew -...
6
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:18,680
- the slew of the mountain of complaints against
the racial profiling you've been doing.
7
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:24,400
- Sir, I must protest, that
I monitor all immigrants evenly.
8
00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:28,000
- Enough! This is why we don't
let you carry a badge.
9
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,280
- [OLLIE] Oh, not to worry, sir.
I made my own. Look.
10
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:31,880
- [sigh]
11
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:38,680
- Ollie, if you do so much
as step one foot out of...
12
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:43,080
- the limited jurisdiction you already
have, under the banner of this agency,...
13
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- then so help me god, I will tear
that badge off your Primark shirt...
14
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- and use it to scrape up your ashes!
15
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,080
- Now get out.
16
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:09,280
- [car door opening and closing]
17
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♪[marching drum music]♪
18
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:34,200
-I got you, sir. No badges.
19
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:38,240
- Time to do some undercover work.
20
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,400
♪[mexican standoff music]♪
21
00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:06,480
- [nerf gun firing]
- Ow!
22
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:41,680
- OK, look. I've got one of those
horrible cravings for miso soup.
23
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:48,800
- Right, so I went to the store to get one...
and those chink bastards were working there!
24
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:52,200
- What?
- The Chinese!
25
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:57,680
- Sophie, there are Chinese working
at the Japanese retaurant!
26
00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,120
- The horror!
- I know!
27
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:05,800
- Like, think about it, it's a blatant theft of
culture, innit. It's right before our eyes.
28
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:10,480
- I knew I had to do something about it,
I...I came here as fast as I could, Sophie.
29
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,080
- The internet must know!
30
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,280
- Jeremy...
31
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:23,080
- Did I ever tell you what my
favourite way to kill people is?
32
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:31,600
- Well, the way it works is I use...
this special nail polish.
33
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:35,680
- [choking]
- [thud]
34
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:43,400
- [sigh] It's made from an
extract of the pufferfishes liver.
35
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:48,000
- A pin size amount is
enough to kill a man.
36
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,600
- But...I have my formula perfect...
37
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:58,680
- will last exactly three hours.
Once I've done that...
38
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- [whispering] I like to flay them.
39
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:21,680
- Like a catfish...peeling
off the skin...inch by inch.
40
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:28,080
- But I'm not going to do that today, Jeremy.
41
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:37,600
- I am going to spend the next three hours taking
a bubble bath, reading a cheesy romance novel...
42
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:44,600
- and attempting to forget that you and
I share the same number of chromosomes...
43
00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:49,880
- much less a strand of DNA. OK?
44
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,080
- OK.
45
00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:02,080
♪[music]♪
[balloon modelling]
46
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:10,280
- [phone vibrating]
- [KENNY] Hmm?
47
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,280
- Hmm! We have a gig!
48
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,000
- Another bar mitzvah?
- No, a...erm...
49
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:22,600
- A wedding? I love weddings!
- No, man, a 'special' event.
50
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:28,480
- Ahh!...Wait...it isn't
another orgy, is it?
51
00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:32,200
Because the last time we
did that, Kenny, I'm not...
52
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:36,200
- It was really awkward....
Well, all those people were...
53
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:36,280
- Well, I don't really equate all touching
with hitting...It was nontheless uncalled for!
54
00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,080
- Well, I don't really equate all touching
with hitting...It was nontheless uncalled for!
-Touching me.
- It's a hit!
55
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:42,600
- Well, I don't really equate all touching
with hitting...It was nontheless uncalled for!
56
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:47,800
- An assassination, you moron!
We've been hired to kill this girl.
57
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:50,600
- Ahh!
- Hmm!
58
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:56,600
- Aww, she looks really funny, Kenny.
- Hmm.
59
00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:07,600
- Maybe before we, er...you know...
I can, er...lay on the charm.
60
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,680
- You planning on flirting with the hit?
61
00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:16,280
- Well, it's just that...in this job...
this job in particular, I...
62
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:19,400
- I don't really get many
chances to meet women.
63
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,880
- Do not flirt with the hit, Jets!
64
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,000
- It's 'The Jets' now!
- What?
65
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:31,240
- Well, I thought by adding a 'The' in front
of my name might give it an extra cool factor.
66
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:36,480
- Like "The Hulk" or...or "The Rock".
What do you think?
67
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:41,600
- I think you might actually be retarded...
Let's get ready.
68
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,680
- You won't believe how sick
I was this morning, guys.
69
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,120
- I mean, I must have eaten something
fierce 'cause I was dropping some, like,...
70
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:51,480
- mad telephone poles. OK, the donor
meat looked greyer than usual but...
71
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:54,080
- when's that shit, like, ever looked...
72
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:57,400
- Guys?
73
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- [muffled television noise]
74
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:01,720
- Oh.
75
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,800
♪[music]♪
76
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:13,800
- One...Two...Three...Four...Five...
77
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- Draw!
78
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,480
- [nerf guns firing]
79
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,480
- [laughing]
80
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,480
- [panting]
- [groaning]
81
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,800
- And now you die!...Ow!
82
00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:41,680
- OK, OK.
83
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:50,680
- You win.
84
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,600
- Chest bump?
85
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,280
- Oh my god!
86
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:45,480
- How did you get inside my house?
87
00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,480
- Through the door.
88
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:55,680
- You know, it's actually a lot harder
to break into a childs toy chest.
89
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,840
- Why are you here?
90
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:05,680
- Picking you up for work.
Is the safety on this thing?
91
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:10,680
- If it was, it never will be again.
92
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,640
- Are you going to get out?
93
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:45,600
- Hmm? Oh. [laughing] [clearing throat]
94
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:53,600
- Don't flatter yourself,
you...fat, ugly, little girl.
95
00:10:53,800 --> 00:11:00,800
- You know, there's absolutely
nothing that you have...
96
00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:09,000
- that can make me anything...
[sniffing]...other...than nauseous.
97
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:18,800
- [laughing] Uh, uh, uh! Gotcha clip.
- Got one in the chamber!
98
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:27,400
- [laughing] You're not as stupid as
you look. You have fifteen minutes.
99
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:32,880
- And if I don't come with you in fifteen minutes?
- [sighing]
100
00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:42,880
- Fifteen minutes.
101
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:53,000
- What does David do? For like, money?
102
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:58,800
- You know, I've never
been entirely clear on that.
103
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,080
- Back when we used to live
together, he'd always have this...
104
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:06,200
- brand new, hair-brained,
get-rich-quick scheme every week.
105
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,280
- They ever work?
106
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:15,480
- I think so. He's been good for money
for as long as I've known him anyway.
107
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,800
- What did you used to do?
108
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:31,680
- Erm...I was a personal chef.
Came with a lot of strings attached.
109
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:36,480
- Strings? Like, what kind of strings?
110
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:40,680
- [slurping] [refreshing sigh]
- Can I get another one of these?
111
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,200
- Be right back.
112
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:52,680
♪[marching drum music]♪
113
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:16,600
- ♪[music]♪
114
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,680
- Why are you following me?!
- Uh?!
115
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:31,000
- I...think you're...really...pretty.
116
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:40,720
- OK, there's the girl. And that must be
her dopey associate she, er...associates with.
117
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:46,000
- Alright, "The Jets", get the tickets ready.
118
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,000
- What the hell do you think you're doing?!
119
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:55,480
- This is why we're not allowed in the park anymore!
- Sorry, Kenny.
120
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,280
- You think I'm pretty?
121
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:13,000
- Yes, and I...I was following
you to...to...to tell you!
122
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,600
- Lovely couple!
123
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:20,040
- It's your lucky day.
We're giving away a free magic show!
124
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,120
- Magic!
125
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,400
- For one night only.
- Only!
126
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:27,000
- And we have two tickets just for you.
- For!
127
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:35,480
- There's one for you...and for you.
128
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:40,280
- What a cute couple you make!
129
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:47,120
- Erm...do you want to...
maybe...go to this thing tonight?
130
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:54,200
- With me on a...a...a...a...
131
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:59,480
- A date?
- [OLLIE]...Yeah.
132
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:14,280
- O...K?
- Wonderful! Oh, don't forget...
133
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:20,280
- show starts at 8pm sharp. Address is
on the back of the ticket and don't be late.
134
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:26,040
- Oh, and erm...no mobile phones.
Disturbs the show and what-not.
135
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,120
- What's going on?
136
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:38,400
- I think I have a...date.
137
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,200
- [slurping]
That' s Nice
138
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,760
- [slurping]
That' s Nice
139
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,240
♪[marching drum music]♪
140
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:10,280
- Plans to infiltrate the target
seemed to have work rather...too well.
141
00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:17,240
- We'll utilise this incident to extract
valuable information in a casual setting.
142
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,560
- Also, get better shirt.
143
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,760
- [gulping]
- [door opening]
144
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:38,040
- Oh, well I see you two
have finally decided to show up.
145
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:42,240
- Hi, David.
- You ditched me today!
146
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,760
- [JACK] Didn't know we had plans.
- You forgot about me!
147
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,240
- This is literally the
first I'm hearing of this.
148
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,360
- What the hell, bro?! I brought you beer.
149
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,040
- Well, then you drank it!
150
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:58,800
- Well, excuse me, Mr. Marley
and Mrs...Ro...Ro-ja!
151
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:03,200
- Ro-ja. Ha, like an 'H'.
152
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:09,560
- Oh yeah, Spanish. Well, Mr. Marley and
Ms. Ro'Ha', you arseholes abandoned me today.
153
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:13,080
- And for what? A nice pair of
titties, that promises she's totally...
154
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,080
- going to meet you at some sushi
restaurant. Oh, but when you text her...
155
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,760
- she suddenly finds herself with a
familiar case of amnesia. Oh, but...
156
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:23,040
- "I swear we'll meet tomorrow.
Yeah, I swear we'll meet tomorrow!"...
157
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,400
- because that's the lame arse
excuse every woman gives to why...
158
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:29,040
- she can't ditch her trout-of-a-friend.
"Oh, but what if someone rapes Cassie, aye?!"
159
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,640
- "What if someone rapes Cassie?!"
No one's going to rape Cassie!
160
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:37,640
- Cassie looks like my stepdad after
he graduated from crack to meth!
161
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:42,160
- Lucky...has a date.
162
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,960
- Oh! [inaudible excited grunting] Yes!
163
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:56,960
- [JACK] Not...me....Jesus.
164
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,640
- You whore!
165
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:04,080
- I fucking never say no to anyone!
[sigh] I miss my old job.
166
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,760
- God, I know, you were so
good as making cheese fries.
167
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,040
- Ernesto just doesn't know
how to heat the oil right.
168
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:15,960
- Fucking Cameron and his freaky ass "man-servant".
- Yeah...Black.
169
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:19,560
- He's pretty weird, but you're werrd too.
I'm surprised you don't get along better.
170
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,960
- Yes, I'm sure under that rough
exterior of a murderer is someone wanting...
171
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,400
- to be my best friend and
give me a basket of muffins!
172
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:30,960
- Always pretending to be above it all.
Did you forget about the guy you shot at the party?
173
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:36,640
- No...that guy had it...you know what,
I don't need to jusify myself to someone...
174
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,560
- who takes off their clothes for money!
- Exactly, above it all!
175
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,160
- The most uppity strip club cook you'll ever meet.
176
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:45,440
- The term is "chef". A job
that I liked doing by the way.
177
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:52,360
- Now, I've no idea what my job even fucking is!
Doubt I'll be sending the IRS my W-2 form this year.
178
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,640
- So...want to hang out later?
179
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:03,840
- [LUCKY] You have a date? Who?
180
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:08,440
- Please do not get all
judgy on me, alright?...Trevor.
181
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:12,640
- Gah! Trevor, that...fucking
roided up, pill popping bouncer...
182
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,960
- Why do you have to be like that about people?!
- God, because he's a fucking dick!
183
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:19,200
- "Fucking dick!" Everybody's a fucking dick then!
- Well, you know what, you just love them...
184
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:23,360
- You just love dicks, and douchebags and assholes...
- Yeah, I do love dicks, why do you think I'm a stripper?!
185
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,040
- Oh my god!...Jesus Christ!
- What?!
186
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:29,840
- This is...this why you always get like this!...
- No, I don't! He's a good boyfriend, OK?!...
187
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:35,560
- [BLACK] "Now" means...right now! Dumb bitch!
188
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:40,040
♪[music]♪
189
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,840
- [LUCKY] This is ridiculous!
Where are you taking me?
190
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:52,640
- To work. We're taking the
scenic route. It relaxes me.
191
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:56,640
- I...I have legs, you know? I can use them.
192
00:19:56,760 --> 00:20:00,800
- Hmm. Well, considering how pudgy they are
and how quickly you were moving them...
193
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:04,360
- I'm sincerely beginning to doubt it.
- [groan]
194
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:09,360
- Listen. You think just 'cause
some rich guy gives you a gun and...
195
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:14,240
sends you on some, obviously,
'tiny-penis enduced power trip'...
196
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:20,360
- you can do whatever the fuck you want?
You're not as scary as you think you are.
197
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:27,440
- [laughing] Oh, I haven't
even begun to scare you yet.
198
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:33,560
- In fact, if you're feeling so brave,
why don't you just stay here? Hmm?
199
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:38,960
- Or even run back to your
little friend, er...Candy, was it?
200
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,440
- She seems nice.
201
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:57,640
- [car door closing]
♪[dramatic music]♪
202
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:12,640
- [car door opening and closing]
203
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:19,360
- [BLACK] It's time to feed the dogs.
204
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,160
- [car starting up]
205
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,960
- [door knocking]
206
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,840
- [door opening]
207
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:45,840
- You know usually, some people don't
answer their knocks, it means not to come it.
208
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:54,360
- Or...it means nobody's in there
and you can safely steal their stuff.
209
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:05,760
- [clearing throat] Erm...
Sorry about how all that went down.
210
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:11,360
- I think when I was explaining it to David,
I might've given across the wrong impression...
211
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:19,840
- A bit. It wasn't meaning to sound
like...like, erm...like a thing, you know?
212
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:28,240
- [door opening and closing]
213
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,640
- [tap running]
214
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:51,560
- [sliding door opening and closing]
215
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,040
♪[dramatic music]♪
216
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:20,440
- [GIRL] I didn't say anything, I swear!
- [BLACK] Oh?! Oh, you swear?! So, on your...
217
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,040
- on your mother's grave?
- Yes!
218
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,160
- Or in the lord's name?
- Both!
219
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:28,440
- You know what, it's irrelevant.
Would you like to know why?
220
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:34,640
- Because, your innocence...bores me.
221
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:41,840
- So...Let's play a game. Hmm?
Let's play 'pretendzies'. Hmm?
222
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,240
- Please, no, please, I swear!
- Let's pretend that...
223
00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:51,960
- you opened your big mouth,
and I am sent here to close it!
224
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,440
- No! Please, I'll do anything! Please!
225
00:23:56,640 --> 00:24:00,160
- No. [laughing]
- [sobbing]
226
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,760
- [humming]
- [gasping and crying]
227
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:13,640
- No? No?...I'm just kidding.
I'm just fucking with ya.
228
00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:18,040
- [laughing] Yes! Yes. Yes.
229
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:30,360
- [water running]
- [acid burning]
230
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,440
- [GIRL] [shrieking]
231
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:45,840
- [gunshot]
232
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,760
- [gasping] [heavy breathing]
233
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:09,160
- [laughing] Not so quick
with the draw there. Hmm?!
234
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:10,960
- You're sick!!
235
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:17,640
- No...I'm creative.
236
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:24,640
- Now...that, my girl, is what
you're going to beg me for...
237
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:31,760
- if I catch you running away or
having a little chat with the police!
238
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:39,760
- Now, in this situation, I usually
threaten some...violent fate...
239
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:49,560
- upon your family, but...I'm surprised
to find that...you have no one!
240
00:25:51,640 --> 00:26:03,360
- How sad...but it's OK, really.
No one left to miss you, once I'm done with you!
241
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:14,840
- Now, my girl, you're going to learn to beg.
Beg me for your sad, pathetic, little life!
242
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:21,040
- Go fuck yourself!!
- [CAMERON] The fuck you two doing out here?
243
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,040
- [CAMERON] Lucky...
244
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:30,160
- Why don't you go inside and make me a drink?
245
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,240
- And put some ice in it.
246
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:53,040
- You...do not fucking listen, huh?!
Still not fucking paying attention.
247
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,160
- I guess I'm gonna have to
teach you a little lesson.
248
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:00,240
- [tap running]
249
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:13,760
- Jack, I know you've always looked up to me.
250
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:18,440
- And as your mentor, I feel
I should give you some advice.
251
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,760
- Stop being such a fucking pussy!
252
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,560
- Do you know what girls like?
253
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:30,560
- Do you know what they don't
like? Like [mock crying].
254
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:35,200
- Dude, I try and help you
out the best I can. I mean...
255
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:39,360
- Do you remember that stuff I showed you.
- Yeah...
256
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:43,360
- Yeah, I'm on some kind of watchlist now.
- Yeah, well that stuff works!
257
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:47,240
- But, you know, you...you can't
rely on good, old David forever.
258
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:51,400
- I know I'm the closest thing you've had to a father.
- My Dad and I are great...
259
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:55,040
- I spoke to him yesterday.
- And like every son, you want to be just like me.
260
00:27:55,160 --> 00:28:00,160
- But you can't...'cause I'm fucking David!
261
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,560
- But, you can be second best.
262
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,840
- First, you've gotta go through
what my dad did to me, and that's to...
263
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:10,440
- tell you everything that's wrong with you.
- I...really don't...
264
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:17,560
- I do this from love...but, dude...
What the fuck is with that shirt?!
265
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,360
- You're not at a funeral or anything.
266
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:25,360
- Your hair...it's retarded as balls.
267
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,640
- What's with that smell you've always got?
268
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,760
- I don't know, David. I shower?
- Yeah, man!
269
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:40,360
- None of that bullshit! You've gotta...
[sniff] let your natural pheromones run free!
270
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:44,760
- Your choice of beer is terrible.
- You bought this!
271
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:50,360
- Man, your accent's an idiot.
You write crosswords in with a pencil.
272
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,160
- [JACK] You done?
- Yeah, think so...
273
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,840
- Gotta save something for your wedding!
274
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:03,040
- OK. David...
- Yeah?
275
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:12,000
- I am not...taking...any of your advice! Ever!
276
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:15,560
- For any reason!
- But I'm fuckin' David, man!
277
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:20,240
- Well, fuckin' David, your
last girlfriend to kill you!
278
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:24,240
- Let's not start getting into that! No...No.
- Yeah...Yeah, let's start getting into that.
279
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:32,040
- Your last girlfriend set your car,
your house and your favourite pub on fire.
280
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,480
- On fire!
281
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:44,160
- You...are literally the last person I am
ever going to turn to for relationship advice!
282
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:46,240
- OK?
283
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,240
- [JEREMY] Sophie...
- [SOPHIE] Yeah?
284
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:56,240
- [JEREMY] I...I really, really
need to go to the toilet.
285
00:29:56,360 --> 00:30:00,160
- Well, I guess you should've
thought of that before then, Jer.
286
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:04,760
- [JEREMY] Honestly, I...
I'm gonna pee my pants!
287
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:14,240
♪[jovial music]♪
- [door opening and closing]
288
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:19,160
- Oh, and try and keep it all in one spot.
289
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:24,880
- [phone vibrating]
290
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,560
- My lady!
291
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:56,040
- Please, sit, dear, sit!
292
00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:01,040
- We have quite a show for you!
293
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:08,360
- Hello...I'm Ollie.
- Lucky.
294
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:13,040
- Oh, er, I got this for you.
295
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,560
- Why is there no one else here?
296
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:33,960
- No idea...So, Lucky,
your accent is very...foreign.
297
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:38,160
- Exactly how and when did
you come into this country?
298
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:45,440
- Erm, October 1st...and I swam!
299
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,040
- [laughing] I'm sorry, what?
300
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:55,440
- Ladies and Gentlemen, our
performance is about to begin.
301
00:31:55,560 --> 00:32:02,040
- We ask you to remain seated at all times
because tonight is going to get a little bit...
302
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:05,840
- ♪[music]♪
- [flowers ruffling] [lighter clicking]
303
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:15,560
- [KENNY] [laughing]
304
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:31,160
- So...how long and how often would
you say you came to the United Kingdom?
305
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:40,240
- [phone scrolling and texting]
306
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,160
- What's the matter, you don't like scotch?
307
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:08,040
- I know what it is. You're still
thinking about what happened outside, right?
308
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,560
- Alright, how do I explain this to you?
309
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,240
- [CAMERON] That girl...
see, she was a talker.
310
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:20,040
- And, it's not a thing I like to do,
you understand, but...well, people talk...
311
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:24,440
- things they...they get complication,
you know? You see, that's why I like you.
312
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:28,840
- You're a nice girl. A nice, quiet girl.
313
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:32,760
- And quiet girls, they're good listeners.
314
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:38,040
- And listening...that's a
characteristic that I find invaluable.
315
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:44,760
- [CAMERON] Listening is one of
the things I like best about you.
316
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,240
- What, have you got a gun in your
pocket or are you just happy to see me?
317
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:53,040
- That's what I like about you.
You're always ready. I really like...
318
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:57,440
- in fact, I love it. I love that about you.
I love it almost as much as I love...
319
00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:01,560
- teaching deserving assholes
valuable life lessons.
320
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:06,960
- For example...see when I tell
this son of a bitch to listen...
321
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:12,560
- what I really mean is to listen to
everything and anything I fucking say.
322
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,840
- ♪[dramatic music]♪
323
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:20,040
- [punch] [groaning]
- [CAMERON] That's for you. Cheers.
324
00:34:23,240 --> 00:34:25,240
- [KENNY] Now, for our next illusion...
325
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:29,840
- we're going to need somebody
from the audience. A volunteer!
326
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:31,840
- You!
327
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:38,160
- Yes, you! Come up here!
328
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:46,760
- Don't be shy. There we go.
Now, this helpful young man will...
329
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:52,640
- disappear before your
very eyes!...in the box.
330
00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:58,640
- [OLLIE] Erm, if I could...
- [box shutting]
331
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:01,240
- [phone vibrating]
332
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,240
- Ah, I see you've finally
got your balls back.
333
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:14,560
- [JACK] Yeah.
334
00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:17,640
- Well?
335
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:22,160
- Well, what?
- [DAVID] You're not going to invite me?
336
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:24,160
- Invite you?
337
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:29,240
- Oh I get it, you're gonna go punch
this guy in the face with your dick.
338
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,760
- But we are bros, and you don't
ditch bros twice in one day!
339
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:41,560
- No...Sit...Stay.
340
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:49,640
- I know where you live, Jack...Here!
341
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,360
- When I say the magic
words, "piff paff poff!"...
342
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:57,040
- our helpful, young friend here
will disappear before your very eyes.
343
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:00,440
- Piff. Paff. Poff!
344
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:15,040
- [box opening]
- Perfect! Jets...my knives!
345
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:18,240
♪[music]♪
346
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:20,960
- [surprised whimper]
347
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:27,040
- Ladies and Gentlemen, it has
been a pleasure and a privilege...
348
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:32,040
- to have been your hosts this evening.
But, er...before we part one another...
349
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:37,280
- Myself and my associate, wish to
present you one final performance...
350
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:43,280
- A capstone, to send you off,
into that sweet goodnight!
351
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:48,640
- For myself and my associate,
"The Jets", we wish to end the night by...
352
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:51,640
-Raping You
353
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:52,640
- What? No! Damn, it,
man, we talked about this!
354
00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:57,760
- We're going to rob you.
- [KENNY] No!
355
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,560
- [THE JETS] And then rape you!
- [KENNY] For godsake man!
356
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,840
- There's no rape, my lady.
357
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:07,640
- After we, erm...
you know, once we kill her...
358
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:11,960
- maybe then we can...
- Do I even know you?!
359
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:17,640
- [KENNY] Jets, what part of
this are you not getting?
360
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:21,040
- [THE JETS] Well, I...
I suppose most of it, really.
361
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:26,640
- We were in such a rush before we came and,
well, you know, sometimes I get into these dazes...
362
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:31,040
- Do you even know what
the purpose of tonight was?!
363
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:37,200
- To do...something...to the
girl, erm... and her friend?
364
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:39,440
- We're going to kill them!
365
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:44,600
- We're going to take those knives and
throw them at the girl and her associate...
366
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:46,560
- And we're going to make them dead!
367
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:47,560
- Bereft of life...
- But, Kenny...Kenny!
368
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:52,240
- What?!
- The girl has gone.
369
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:54,760
♪[music stops]♪
- Oh.
370
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:59,360
- ♪[sinister music]♪
371
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,960
- [box unlocking and opening]
- [heavy breathing]
372
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:35,440
- Phone. Phone.
373
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:43,760
- Actually, it was the best date
I've been on in, like, three years.
374
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:48,360
- It might be the only date
I've been on in, like, three years.
375
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:55,560
- Ahh, well...maybe if you tried dating someone
a bit taller, a bit more handsome, dashing...
376
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:56,960
- Irish.
377
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:03,760
- Are you asking me out, Jack?
378
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:07,960
- Honestly, sir, I was here. I was
undercover with a foreign girl and...
379
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:11,160
- there were these two strange magicians,
and they locked me in the box, and...
380
00:39:11,240 --> 00:39:14,400
- when I came out of the box, she was gone,
and they were dead! I swear to you...
381
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:18,560
- there was one there, and there
was one there and...[heavy breathing]
382
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:24,160
- Wh...you kee...
383
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:33,840
♪[ending title music]♪
33807
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