All language subtitles for Drowning.In.Sunshine.S01E03_English

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,000 ♪[opening title music]♪ 2 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:58,600 - [laughing] 3 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:04,680 - [slam] - Fifteen violations in thirty days! 4 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,280 - Sir... - Shut up. 5 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:12,800 - Warrantless surveillance, illegal wire-tapping, and the slew -... 6 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:18,680 - the slew of the mountain of complaints against the racial profiling you've been doing. 7 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:24,400 - Sir, I must protest, that I monitor all immigrants evenly. 8 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:28,000 - Enough! This is why we don't let you carry a badge. 9 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,280 - [OLLIE] Oh, not to worry, sir. I made my own. Look. 10 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:31,880 - [sigh] 11 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:38,680 - Ollie, if you do so much as step one foot out of... 12 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:43,080 - the limited jurisdiction you already have, under the banner of this agency,... 13 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:47,920 - then so help me god, I will tear that badge off your Primark shirt... 14 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:51,680 - and use it to scrape up your ashes! 15 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,080 - Now get out. 16 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:09,280 - [car door opening and closing] 17 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:15,800 ♪[marching drum music]♪ 18 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:34,200 -I got you, sir. No badges. 19 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:38,240 - Time to do some undercover work. 20 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,400 ♪[mexican standoff music]♪ 21 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:06,480 - [nerf gun firing] - Ow! 22 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:41,680 - OK, look. I've got one of those horrible cravings for miso soup. 23 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:48,800 - Right, so I went to the store to get one... and those chink bastards were working there! 24 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:52,200 - What? - The Chinese! 25 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:57,680 - Sophie, there are Chinese working at the Japanese retaurant! 26 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,120 - The horror! - I know! 27 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:05,800 - Like, think about it, it's a blatant theft of culture, innit. It's right before our eyes. 28 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:10,480 - I knew I had to do something about it, I...I came here as fast as I could, Sophie. 29 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,080 - The internet must know! 30 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,280 - Jeremy... 31 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:23,080 - Did I ever tell you what my favourite way to kill people is? 32 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:31,600 - Well, the way it works is I use... this special nail polish. 33 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:35,680 - [choking] - [thud] 34 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:43,400 - [sigh] It's made from an extract of the pufferfishes liver. 35 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:48,000 - A pin size amount is enough to kill a man. 36 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,600 - But...I have my formula perfect... 37 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:58,680 - will last exactly three hours. Once I've done that... 38 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,600 - [whispering] I like to flay them. 39 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:21,680 - Like a catfish...peeling off the skin...inch by inch. 40 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:28,080 - But I'm not going to do that today, Jeremy. 41 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:37,600 - I am going to spend the next three hours taking a bubble bath, reading a cheesy romance novel... 42 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:44,600 - and attempting to forget that you and I share the same number of chromosomes... 43 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:49,880 - much less a strand of DNA. OK? 44 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,080 - OK. 45 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:02,080 ♪[music]♪ [balloon modelling] 46 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:10,280 - [phone vibrating] - [KENNY] Hmm? 47 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,280 - Hmm! We have a gig! 48 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,000 - Another bar mitzvah? - No, a...erm... 49 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:22,600 - A wedding? I love weddings! - No, man, a 'special' event. 50 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:28,480 - Ahh!...Wait...it isn't another orgy, is it? 51 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:32,200 Because the last time we did that, Kenny, I'm not... 52 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:36,200 - It was really awkward.... Well, all those people were... 53 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:36,280 - Well, I don't really equate all touching with hitting...It was nontheless uncalled for! 54 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,080 - Well, I don't really equate all touching with hitting...It was nontheless uncalled for! -Touching me. - It's a hit! 55 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:42,600 - Well, I don't really equate all touching with hitting...It was nontheless uncalled for! 56 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:47,800 - An assassination, you moron! We've been hired to kill this girl. 57 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:50,600 - Ahh! - Hmm! 58 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:56,600 - Aww, she looks really funny, Kenny. - Hmm. 59 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:07,600 - Maybe before we, er...you know... I can, er...lay on the charm. 60 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,680 - You planning on flirting with the hit? 61 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:16,280 - Well, it's just that...in this job... this job in particular, I... 62 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:19,400 - I don't really get many chances to meet women. 63 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,880 - Do not flirt with the hit, Jets! 64 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,000 - It's 'The Jets' now! - What? 65 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:31,240 - Well, I thought by adding a 'The' in front of my name might give it an extra cool factor. 66 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:36,480 - Like "The Hulk" or...or "The Rock". What do you think? 67 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:41,600 - I think you might actually be retarded... Let's get ready. 68 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,680 - You won't believe how sick I was this morning, guys. 69 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,120 - I mean, I must have eaten something fierce 'cause I was dropping some, like,... 70 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:51,480 - mad telephone poles. OK, the donor meat looked greyer than usual but... 71 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:54,080 - when's that shit, like, ever looked... 72 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:57,400 - Guys? 73 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,000 - [muffled television noise] 74 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:01,720 - Oh. 75 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,800 ♪[music]♪ 76 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:13,800 - One...Two...Three...Four...Five... 77 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,800 - Draw! 78 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,480 - [nerf guns firing] 79 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,480 - [laughing] 80 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,480 - [panting] - [groaning] 81 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,800 - And now you die!...Ow! 82 00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:41,680 - OK, OK. 83 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:50,680 - You win. 84 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,600 - Chest bump? 85 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,280 - Oh my god! 86 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:45,480 - How did you get inside my house? 87 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,480 - Through the door. 88 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:55,680 - You know, it's actually a lot harder to break into a childs toy chest. 89 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,840 - Why are you here? 90 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:05,680 - Picking you up for work. Is the safety on this thing? 91 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:10,680 - If it was, it never will be again. 92 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,640 - Are you going to get out? 93 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:45,600 - Hmm? Oh. [laughing] [clearing throat] 94 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:53,600 - Don't flatter yourself, you...fat, ugly, little girl. 95 00:10:53,800 --> 00:11:00,800 - You know, there's absolutely nothing that you have... 96 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:09,000 - that can make me anything... [sniffing]...other...than nauseous. 97 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:18,800 - [laughing] Uh, uh, uh! Gotcha clip. - Got one in the chamber! 98 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:27,400 - [laughing] You're not as stupid as you look. You have fifteen minutes. 99 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:32,880 - And if I don't come with you in fifteen minutes? - [sighing] 100 00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:42,880 - Fifteen minutes. 101 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:53,000 - What does David do? For like, money? 102 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:58,800 - You know, I've never been entirely clear on that. 103 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,080 - Back when we used to live together, he'd always have this... 104 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:06,200 - brand new, hair-brained, get-rich-quick scheme every week. 105 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,280 - They ever work? 106 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:15,480 - I think so. He's been good for money for as long as I've known him anyway. 107 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,800 - What did you used to do? 108 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:31,680 - Erm...I was a personal chef. Came with a lot of strings attached. 109 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:36,480 - Strings? Like, what kind of strings? 110 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:40,680 - [slurping] [refreshing sigh] - Can I get another one of these? 111 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,200 - Be right back. 112 00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:52,680 ♪[marching drum music]♪ 113 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:16,600 - ♪[music]♪ 114 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,680 - Why are you following me?! - Uh?! 115 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:31,000 - I...think you're...really...pretty. 116 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:40,720 - OK, there's the girl. And that must be her dopey associate she, er...associates with. 117 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:46,000 - Alright, "The Jets", get the tickets ready. 118 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,000 - What the hell do you think you're doing?! 119 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:55,480 - This is why we're not allowed in the park anymore! - Sorry, Kenny. 120 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,280 - You think I'm pretty? 121 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:13,000 - Yes, and I...I was following you to...to...to tell you! 122 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,600 - Lovely couple! 123 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:20,040 - It's your lucky day. We're giving away a free magic show! 124 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,120 - Magic! 125 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,400 - For one night only. - Only! 126 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:27,000 - And we have two tickets just for you. - For! 127 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:35,480 - There's one for you...and for you. 128 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:40,280 - What a cute couple you make! 129 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:47,120 - Erm...do you want to... maybe...go to this thing tonight? 130 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:54,200 - With me on a...a...a...a... 131 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:59,480 - A date? - [OLLIE]...Yeah. 132 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:14,280 - O...K? - Wonderful! Oh, don't forget... 133 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:20,280 - show starts at 8pm sharp. Address is on the back of the ticket and don't be late. 134 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:26,040 - Oh, and erm...no mobile phones. Disturbs the show and what-not. 135 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,120 - What's going on? 136 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:38,400 - I think I have a...date. 137 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,200 - [slurping] That' s Nice 138 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,760 - [slurping] That' s Nice 139 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,240 ♪[marching drum music]♪ 140 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:10,280 - Plans to infiltrate the target seemed to have work rather...too well. 141 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:17,240 - We'll utilise this incident to extract valuable information in a casual setting. 142 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,560 - Also, get better shirt. 143 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,760 - [gulping] - [door opening] 144 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:38,040 - Oh, well I see you two have finally decided to show up. 145 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:42,240 - Hi, David. - You ditched me today! 146 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,760 - [JACK] Didn't know we had plans. - You forgot about me! 147 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,240 - This is literally the first I'm hearing of this. 148 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,360 - What the hell, bro?! I brought you beer. 149 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,040 - Well, then you drank it! 150 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:58,800 - Well, excuse me, Mr. Marley and Mrs...Ro...Ro-ja! 151 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:03,200 - Ro-ja. Ha, like an 'H'. 152 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:09,560 - Oh yeah, Spanish. Well, Mr. Marley and Ms. Ro'Ha', you arseholes abandoned me today. 153 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:13,080 - And for what? A nice pair of titties, that promises she's totally... 154 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,080 - going to meet you at some sushi restaurant. Oh, but when you text her... 155 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,760 - she suddenly finds herself with a familiar case of amnesia. Oh, but... 156 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:23,040 - "I swear we'll meet tomorrow. Yeah, I swear we'll meet tomorrow!"... 157 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,400 - because that's the lame arse excuse every woman gives to why... 158 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:29,040 - she can't ditch her trout-of-a-friend. "Oh, but what if someone rapes Cassie, aye?!" 159 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,640 - "What if someone rapes Cassie?!" No one's going to rape Cassie! 160 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:37,640 - Cassie looks like my stepdad after he graduated from crack to meth! 161 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:42,160 - Lucky...has a date. 162 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,960 - Oh! [inaudible excited grunting] Yes! 163 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:56,960 - [JACK] Not...me....Jesus. 164 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,640 - You whore! 165 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:04,080 - I fucking never say no to anyone! [sigh] I miss my old job. 166 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,760 - God, I know, you were so good as making cheese fries. 167 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,040 - Ernesto just doesn't know how to heat the oil right. 168 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:15,960 - Fucking Cameron and his freaky ass "man-servant". - Yeah...Black. 169 00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:19,560 - He's pretty weird, but you're werrd too. I'm surprised you don't get along better. 170 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,960 - Yes, I'm sure under that rough exterior of a murderer is someone wanting... 171 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,400 - to be my best friend and give me a basket of muffins! 172 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:30,960 - Always pretending to be above it all. Did you forget about the guy you shot at the party? 173 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:36,640 - No...that guy had it...you know what, I don't need to jusify myself to someone... 174 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,560 - who takes off their clothes for money! - Exactly, above it all! 175 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,160 - The most uppity strip club cook you'll ever meet. 176 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:45,440 - The term is "chef". A job that I liked doing by the way. 177 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:52,360 - Now, I've no idea what my job even fucking is! Doubt I'll be sending the IRS my W-2 form this year. 178 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,640 - So...want to hang out later? 179 00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:03,840 - [LUCKY] You have a date? Who? 180 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:08,440 - Please do not get all judgy on me, alright?...Trevor. 181 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:12,640 - Gah! Trevor, that...fucking roided up, pill popping bouncer... 182 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,960 - Why do you have to be like that about people?! - God, because he's a fucking dick! 183 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:19,200 - "Fucking dick!" Everybody's a fucking dick then! - Well, you know what, you just love them... 184 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:23,360 - You just love dicks, and douchebags and assholes... - Yeah, I do love dicks, why do you think I'm a stripper?! 185 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,040 - Oh my god!...Jesus Christ! - What?! 186 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:29,840 - This is...this why you always get like this!... - No, I don't! He's a good boyfriend, OK?!... 187 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:35,560 - [BLACK] "Now" means...right now! Dumb bitch! 188 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:40,040 ♪[music]♪ 189 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,840 - [LUCKY] This is ridiculous! Where are you taking me? 190 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:52,640 - To work. We're taking the scenic route. It relaxes me. 191 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:56,640 - I...I have legs, you know? I can use them. 192 00:19:56,760 --> 00:20:00,800 - Hmm. Well, considering how pudgy they are and how quickly you were moving them... 193 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:04,360 - I'm sincerely beginning to doubt it. - [groan] 194 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:09,360 - Listen. You think just 'cause some rich guy gives you a gun and... 195 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:14,240 sends you on some, obviously, 'tiny-penis enduced power trip'... 196 00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:20,360 - you can do whatever the fuck you want? You're not as scary as you think you are. 197 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:27,440 - [laughing] Oh, I haven't even begun to scare you yet. 198 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:33,560 - In fact, if you're feeling so brave, why don't you just stay here? Hmm? 199 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:38,960 - Or even run back to your little friend, er...Candy, was it? 200 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,440 - She seems nice. 201 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:57,640 - [car door closing] ♪[dramatic music]♪ 202 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:12,640 - [car door opening and closing] 203 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:19,360 - [BLACK] It's time to feed the dogs. 204 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,160 - [car starting up] 205 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,960 - [door knocking] 206 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,840 - [door opening] 207 00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:45,840 - You know usually, some people don't answer their knocks, it means not to come it. 208 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:54,360 - Or...it means nobody's in there and you can safely steal their stuff. 209 00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:05,760 - [clearing throat] Erm... Sorry about how all that went down. 210 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:11,360 - I think when I was explaining it to David, I might've given across the wrong impression... 211 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:19,840 - A bit. It wasn't meaning to sound like...like, erm...like a thing, you know? 212 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:28,240 - [door opening and closing] 213 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,640 - [tap running] 214 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:51,560 - [sliding door opening and closing] 215 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,040 ♪[dramatic music]♪ 216 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:20,440 - [GIRL] I didn't say anything, I swear! - [BLACK] Oh?! Oh, you swear?! So, on your... 217 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,040 - on your mother's grave? - Yes! 218 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,160 - Or in the lord's name? - Both! 219 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:28,440 - You know what, it's irrelevant. Would you like to know why? 220 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:34,640 - Because, your innocence...bores me. 221 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:41,840 - So...Let's play a game. Hmm? Let's play 'pretendzies'. Hmm? 222 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,240 - Please, no, please, I swear! - Let's pretend that... 223 00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:51,960 - you opened your big mouth, and I am sent here to close it! 224 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,440 - No! Please, I'll do anything! Please! 225 00:23:56,640 --> 00:24:00,160 - No. [laughing] - [sobbing] 226 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,760 - [humming] - [gasping and crying] 227 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:13,640 - No? No?...I'm just kidding. I'm just fucking with ya. 228 00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:18,040 - [laughing] Yes! Yes. Yes. 229 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:30,360 - [water running] - [acid burning] 230 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,440 - [GIRL] [shrieking] 231 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:45,840 - [gunshot] 232 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,760 - [gasping] [heavy breathing] 233 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:09,160 - [laughing] Not so quick with the draw there. Hmm?! 234 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:10,960 - You're sick!! 235 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:17,640 - No...I'm creative. 236 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:24,640 - Now...that, my girl, is what you're going to beg me for... 237 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:31,760 - if I catch you running away or having a little chat with the police! 238 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:39,760 - Now, in this situation, I usually threaten some...violent fate... 239 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:49,560 - upon your family, but...I'm surprised to find that...you have no one! 240 00:25:51,640 --> 00:26:03,360 - How sad...but it's OK, really. No one left to miss you, once I'm done with you! 241 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:14,840 - Now, my girl, you're going to learn to beg. Beg me for your sad, pathetic, little life! 242 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:21,040 - Go fuck yourself!! - [CAMERON] The fuck you two doing out here? 243 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,040 - [CAMERON] Lucky... 244 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:30,160 - Why don't you go inside and make me a drink? 245 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,240 - And put some ice in it. 246 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:53,040 - You...do not fucking listen, huh?! Still not fucking paying attention. 247 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,160 - I guess I'm gonna have to teach you a little lesson. 248 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:00,240 - [tap running] 249 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:13,760 - Jack, I know you've always looked up to me. 250 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:18,440 - And as your mentor, I feel I should give you some advice. 251 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,760 - Stop being such a fucking pussy! 252 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,560 - Do you know what girls like? 253 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:30,560 - Do you know what they don't like? Like [mock crying]. 254 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:35,200 - Dude, I try and help you out the best I can. I mean... 255 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:39,360 - Do you remember that stuff I showed you. - Yeah... 256 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:43,360 - Yeah, I'm on some kind of watchlist now. - Yeah, well that stuff works! 257 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:47,240 - But, you know, you...you can't rely on good, old David forever. 258 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:51,400 - I know I'm the closest thing you've had to a father. - My Dad and I are great... 259 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:55,040 - I spoke to him yesterday. - And like every son, you want to be just like me. 260 00:27:55,160 --> 00:28:00,160 - But you can't...'cause I'm fucking David! 261 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,560 - But, you can be second best. 262 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,840 - First, you've gotta go through what my dad did to me, and that's to... 263 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:10,440 - tell you everything that's wrong with you. - I...really don't... 264 00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:17,560 - I do this from love...but, dude... What the fuck is with that shirt?! 265 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,360 - You're not at a funeral or anything. 266 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:25,360 - Your hair...it's retarded as balls. 267 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,640 - What's with that smell you've always got? 268 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,760 - I don't know, David. I shower? - Yeah, man! 269 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:40,360 - None of that bullshit! You've gotta... [sniff] let your natural pheromones run free! 270 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:44,760 - Your choice of beer is terrible. - You bought this! 271 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:50,360 - Man, your accent's an idiot. You write crosswords in with a pencil. 272 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,160 - [JACK] You done? - Yeah, think so... 273 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,840 - Gotta save something for your wedding! 274 00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:03,040 - OK. David... - Yeah? 275 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:12,000 - I am not...taking...any of your advice! Ever! 276 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:15,560 - For any reason! - But I'm fuckin' David, man! 277 00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:20,240 - Well, fuckin' David, your last girlfriend to kill you! 278 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:24,240 - Let's not start getting into that! No...No. - Yeah...Yeah, let's start getting into that. 279 00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:32,040 - Your last girlfriend set your car, your house and your favourite pub on fire. 280 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,480 - On fire! 281 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:44,160 - You...are literally the last person I am ever going to turn to for relationship advice! 282 00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:46,240 - OK? 283 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,240 - [JEREMY] Sophie... - [SOPHIE] Yeah? 284 00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:56,240 - [JEREMY] I...I really, really need to go to the toilet. 285 00:29:56,360 --> 00:30:00,160 - Well, I guess you should've thought of that before then, Jer. 286 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:04,760 - [JEREMY] Honestly, I... I'm gonna pee my pants! 287 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:14,240 ♪[jovial music]♪ - [door opening and closing] 288 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:19,160 - Oh, and try and keep it all in one spot. 289 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:24,880 - [phone vibrating] 290 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,560 - My lady! 291 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:56,040 - Please, sit, dear, sit! 292 00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:01,040 - We have quite a show for you! 293 00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:08,360 - Hello...I'm Ollie. - Lucky. 294 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:13,040 - Oh, er, I got this for you. 295 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,560 - Why is there no one else here? 296 00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:33,960 - No idea...So, Lucky, your accent is very...foreign. 297 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:38,160 - Exactly how and when did you come into this country? 298 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:45,440 - Erm, October 1st...and I swam! 299 00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,040 - [laughing] I'm sorry, what? 300 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:55,440 - Ladies and Gentlemen, our performance is about to begin. 301 00:31:55,560 --> 00:32:02,040 - We ask you to remain seated at all times because tonight is going to get a little bit... 302 00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:05,840 - ♪[music]♪ - [flowers ruffling] [lighter clicking] 303 00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:15,560 - [KENNY] [laughing] 304 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:31,160 - So...how long and how often would you say you came to the United Kingdom? 305 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:40,240 - [phone scrolling and texting] 306 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,160 - What's the matter, you don't like scotch? 307 00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:08,040 - I know what it is. You're still thinking about what happened outside, right? 308 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,560 - Alright, how do I explain this to you? 309 00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,240 - [CAMERON] That girl... see, she was a talker. 310 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:20,040 - And, it's not a thing I like to do, you understand, but...well, people talk... 311 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:24,440 - things they...they get complication, you know? You see, that's why I like you. 312 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:28,840 - You're a nice girl. A nice, quiet girl. 313 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:32,760 - And quiet girls, they're good listeners. 314 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:38,040 - And listening...that's a characteristic that I find invaluable. 315 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:44,760 - [CAMERON] Listening is one of the things I like best about you. 316 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,240 - What, have you got a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? 317 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:53,040 - That's what I like about you. You're always ready. I really like... 318 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:57,440 - in fact, I love it. I love that about you. I love it almost as much as I love... 319 00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:01,560 - teaching deserving assholes valuable life lessons. 320 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:06,960 - For example...see when I tell this son of a bitch to listen... 321 00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:12,560 - what I really mean is to listen to everything and anything I fucking say. 322 00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,840 - ♪[dramatic music]♪ 323 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:20,040 - [punch] [groaning] - [CAMERON] That's for you. Cheers. 324 00:34:23,240 --> 00:34:25,240 - [KENNY] Now, for our next illusion... 325 00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:29,840 - we're going to need somebody from the audience. A volunteer! 326 00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:31,840 - You! 327 00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:38,160 - Yes, you! Come up here! 328 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:46,760 - Don't be shy. There we go. Now, this helpful young man will... 329 00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:52,640 - disappear before your very eyes!...in the box. 330 00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:58,640 - [OLLIE] Erm, if I could... - [box shutting] 331 00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:01,240 - [phone vibrating] 332 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,240 - Ah, I see you've finally got your balls back. 333 00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:14,560 - [JACK] Yeah. 334 00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:17,640 - Well? 335 00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:22,160 - Well, what? - [DAVID] You're not going to invite me? 336 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:24,160 - Invite you? 337 00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:29,240 - Oh I get it, you're gonna go punch this guy in the face with your dick. 338 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,760 - But we are bros, and you don't ditch bros twice in one day! 339 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:41,560 - No...Sit...Stay. 340 00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:49,640 - I know where you live, Jack...Here! 341 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,360 - When I say the magic words, "piff paff poff!"... 342 00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:57,040 - our helpful, young friend here will disappear before your very eyes. 343 00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:00,440 - Piff. Paff. Poff! 344 00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:15,040 - [box opening] - Perfect! Jets...my knives! 345 00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:18,240 ♪[music]♪ 346 00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:20,960 - [surprised whimper] 347 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:27,040 - Ladies and Gentlemen, it has been a pleasure and a privilege... 348 00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:32,040 - to have been your hosts this evening. But, er...before we part one another... 349 00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:37,280 - Myself and my associate, wish to present you one final performance... 350 00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:43,280 - A capstone, to send you off, into that sweet goodnight! 351 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:48,640 - For myself and my associate, "The Jets", we wish to end the night by... 352 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:51,640 -Raping You 353 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:52,640 - What? No! Damn, it, man, we talked about this! 354 00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:57,760 - We're going to rob you. - [KENNY] No! 355 00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,560 - [THE JETS] And then rape you! - [KENNY] For godsake man! 356 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,840 - There's no rape, my lady. 357 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:07,640 - After we, erm... you know, once we kill her... 358 00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:11,960 - maybe then we can... - Do I even know you?! 359 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:17,640 - [KENNY] Jets, what part of this are you not getting? 360 00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:21,040 - [THE JETS] Well, I... I suppose most of it, really. 361 00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:26,640 - We were in such a rush before we came and, well, you know, sometimes I get into these dazes... 362 00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:31,040 - Do you even know what the purpose of tonight was?! 363 00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:37,200 - To do...something...to the girl, erm... and her friend? 364 00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:39,440 - We're going to kill them! 365 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:44,600 - We're going to take those knives and throw them at the girl and her associate... 366 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:46,560 - And we're going to make them dead! 367 00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:47,560 - Bereft of life... - But, Kenny...Kenny! 368 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:52,240 - What?! - The girl has gone. 369 00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:54,760 ♪[music stops]♪ - Oh. 370 00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:59,360 - ♪[sinister music]♪ 371 00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,960 - [box unlocking and opening] - [heavy breathing] 372 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:35,440 - Phone. Phone. 373 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:43,760 - Actually, it was the best date I've been on in, like, three years. 374 00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:48,360 - It might be the only date I've been on in, like, three years. 375 00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:55,560 - Ahh, well...maybe if you tried dating someone a bit taller, a bit more handsome, dashing... 376 00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:56,960 - Irish. 377 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:03,760 - Are you asking me out, Jack? 378 00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:07,960 - Honestly, sir, I was here. I was undercover with a foreign girl and... 379 00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:11,160 - there were these two strange magicians, and they locked me in the box, and... 380 00:39:11,240 --> 00:39:14,400 - when I came out of the box, she was gone, and they were dead! I swear to you... 381 00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:18,560 - there was one there, and there was one there and...[heavy breathing] 382 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:24,160 - Wh...you kee... 383 00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:33,840 ♪[ending title music]♪ 33807

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.