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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:08,358 - BUT IT'S NOT QUITE DONE YET. - I NEED TO SEE IT. 2 00:00:08,399 --> 00:00:10,579 I WAS GOING TO PUT ON THE FINISHING TOUCHES AND SHOW YOU LATER. 3 00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:12,529 THIS IS THE FINISHING TOUCH: MY SEEING WHAT YOU'VE DONE 4 00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:14,747 - WITH MY DANCE AND THEN SWEARING A LOT. - OKAY FINE. 5 00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:16,627 BUT YOU NEED TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND. 6 00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:18,408 - I ALWAYS HAVE AN OPEN MIND. - RIGHT. 7 00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:20,723 BUT YOU NEED TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND LIKE OTHER PEOPLE KEEP AN OPEN MIND. 8 00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,759 WITH A MIND THAT'S ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, OPEN. 9 00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:25,025 HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU MY PRODUCTION 10 00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:27,718 - OF "THE NUTCRACKER" IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY YEAR? - 842. 11 00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:30,726 AND HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT THESE TWO WEEKS OF SHOWS 12 00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:34,079 - MAKE UP THE BULK OF MY MONEY FOR THE YEAR? - 12,064. 13 00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:37,081 - I GAVE YOU ONE DANCE TO CHOREOGRAPH. - THE EVIL RAT DANCE, YES. 14 00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,784 - MICE! - WHAT? 15 00:00:38,821 --> 00:00:40,781 - MICE, THEY'RE EVIL MICE. - NO DIFFERENCE. 16 00:00:40,823 --> 00:00:42,783 - BIG DIFFERENCE. - WHATEVER. ANYHOW, IT'S DONE 17 00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:46,085 AND IT'S GREAT. I JUST PUT MY OWN SPIN ON IT IS ALL. 18 00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:48,613 ARE THEY WEARING PASTIES AND G-STRINGS? 19 00:00:48,657 --> 00:00:51,177 AHH, SEE, FUNNY-- LIKE I MADE THEM VEGAS STRIPPER RATS. 20 00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:52,615 - MICE. - WHATEVER. 21 00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:54,101 NO, I JUST MODERNED IT UP A BIT. 22 00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:55,751 PLUS I NEEDED SOMEONE TO STAND IN FOR CLARA, 23 00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:58,284 SINCE WE STILL DON'T HAVE A CLARA, SO THERE'S A TEMP IN THERE. 24 00:00:58,319 --> 00:01:01,839 TERRIFIC. YOU CAN DICTATE YOUR RESIGNATION LETTER TO HER AFTERWARDS. 25 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,510 ♪ SA-SHA! 26 00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:22,869 OKAY, MAKE MAMA LOOK GOOD. 27 00:01:27,783 --> 00:01:30,223 [ music playing ] 28 00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:35,722 YOU GET IT? 29 00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:38,904 THE RATS ARE LIKE WALL STREET GUYS 'CAUSE WALL STREET GUYS ARE... RATS? 30 00:02:38,941 --> 00:02:41,291 - I GET IT. - DO YOU LIKE IT? 31 00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:48,212 - I LOVE IT. - [ sighs of relief ] 32 00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:54,869 - AND THEY'RE MICE. - WHATEVER. 33 00:02:58,569 --> 00:03:00,789 [ theme music playing ] 34 00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:21,238 OPENING WEEKEND'S SOLD OUT. 35 00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:22,938 NICE. HOT MUSTARD. 36 00:03:22,985 --> 00:03:24,765 MID-WEEK LOOKS A LITTLE SLOW. 37 00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:26,823 IT'LL PICK UP. MOO SHU PORK. 38 00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:29,298 EVERYTHING'S DOWN THIS YEAR. 39 00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:33,259 TICKET SALES, ENROLLMENTS... HOPEFULLY THAT FUNDRAISER YOU'RE ORGANIZING 40 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,430 - WILL MAKE UP THE DIFFERENCE. - FUNDRAISER? 41 00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:37,736 YES, THE FUNDRAISER. 42 00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:40,262 THE FUNDRAISER AT THE OYSTER BAR. 43 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:44,267 THE ONE THAT YOU SAID YOU'D PLAN, THAT YOU HAD COMPLETELY HANDLED. 44 00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,961 - THE ONE THAT-- - [ chuckles ] 45 00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:47,918 - I HATE YOU. - EVERYTHING'S SET-- 46 00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:49,926 MENU, DECORATIONS, SOUND SYSTEM. 47 00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:51,838 I GOT A WEEKEND AT CATALINA TO RAFFLE OFF, 48 00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:54,933 AND I EVEN GOT RICO TO DONATE THE PLACE FOR FREE. 49 00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:57,323 SPEECHLESS! 50 00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:59,847 - YOU'RE PRETTY PROUD OF YOURSELF, AREN'T YOU? - YEP. 51 00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:02,811 WHAT WOULD YOU SAY 52 00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:04,901 TO RUNNING THIS PLACE ALONE? 53 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:06,810 FOR A WHILE, ANYWAY. 54 00:04:06,855 --> 00:04:09,595 MICHAEL BROUGHT UP MONTANA AGAIN LAST NIGHT. 55 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,340 HE'S TALKED ABOUT IT ON AND OFF FOR YEARS. I DON'T THINK HE'S EVER 56 00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:15,522 BEEN THERE FOR MORE THAN A FEW DAYS, BUT HE HAS THIS ROMANTIC NOTION ABOUT IT. 57 00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:16,949 ANYHOW, I WAS THINKING 58 00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:19,685 SINCE THINGS ARE GOING VERY SMOOTHLY AROUND HERE... 59 00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:21,997 - SINCE I'VE BEEN AROUND. - ...I THOUGHT MAYBE MICHAEL AND I 60 00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:25,274 COULD GET AWAY FOR A WHILE. I FOUND THIS WONDERFUL CABIN-- 61 00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:27,218 VERY RUSTIC, BUT COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE. 62 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:30,307 I THOUGHT I COULD SURPRISE HIM AND RENT IT FOR A COUPLE, THREE MONTHS. 63 00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:32,317 SO ROMANTIC. I'D BE HAPPY 64 00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:34,929 TO TAKE OVER WHILE YOU HANG IN THE MOUNTAINS WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND. 65 00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:38,320 - THANK YOU. - WHICH ONE OF YOU IS GOING TO BE HEATH LEDGER? 66 00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:41,535 YOU ALWAYS END THE CONVERSATION ONE SENTENCE TOO LATE. 67 00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:44,015 - I'M HERE! - [ bag drops ] 68 00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:45,546 - [ whispers ] OH NO! - WHAT? 69 00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:48,639 OH CRAP! I FORGOT ALL ABOUT HER. 70 00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:50,809 - WHO, THE KID? - THAT'S NO KID. 71 00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:53,675 - I'M READY! - OKAY, GOOD! 72 00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:55,078 READY FOR WHAT? 73 00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:01,690 WHOA-- HOLY CRAP. WHO IS SHE? 74 00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,606 - THE RINGER. - WHAT? 75 00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:06,611 WHEN SASHA QUIT AND I COULDN'T FIND ANYONE ELSE I GOT DESPERATE 76 00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:09,574 AND I CALLED THE RINGER. I HAD HER SHIPPED DOWN FROM SAN FRANCISCO. 77 00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:11,573 - WHAT'S HER NAME? - I DON'T KNOW HER NAME. 78 00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:14,305 SHE'S ALWAYS JUST BEEN CALLED THE RINGER. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? 79 00:05:14,357 --> 00:05:16,787 - FANNY, YOU HAVE TO TELL HER SASHA'S BACK. - I KNOW I DO. 80 00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,930 - JIMINY CRICKET! - SHE'S TERRIFYING. 81 00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:23,372 IF MARVEL COMICS HAD A CRIME-FIGHTING BALLERINA, 82 00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:25,110 THIS BALLERINA WOULD KICK THAT BALLERINA'S ASS. 83 00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:28,627 YOU'RE TALKING. 84 00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:31,066 - NO, NO ONE'S-- - SHE'S TALKING. I'M WATCHING. 85 00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:33,073 I'M NOT TALKING. I'M NOT TALKING! 86 00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:35,415 WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A BREAK FOR A SECOND? 87 00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,607 GOOD LUCK, COWBOY. 88 00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,962 WAIT! 89 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:53,052 BREAK'S OVER. 90 00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:10,721 - WHAT IS THAT? - Sophia: I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'M LEARNING TO TYPE. 91 00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:13,981 YOU DON'T THINK MADAME FANNY ACTUALLY... 92 00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:23,595 GREAT. VERY MATURE. 93 00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:26,434 HEY, WHAT IS THE WHAT? I'M STARVING. 94 00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:29,953 - WHERE DO YOU GUYS STASH THE CANDY BARS? - DANCERS DON'T EAT CANDY BARS. 95 00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:32,958 YEAH RIGHT. SUZANNE FARRELL WAS 60% CARAMEL. 96 00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:34,701 CAN WE HELP YOU WITH SOMETHING? 97 00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:37,012 I JUST CAME UP TO CHECK THE STATE OF THE ROOM, 98 00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:40,008 MAKE SURE IT'S STILL PINK. IT IS. 99 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:46,450 - WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? - APPARENTLY WHILE I WAS OFF MAKING WITH THE POM-POMS 100 00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:49,633 SOME SORT OF BLOOD FEUD HAPPENED AND NO ONE SEEMS READY TO LET IT GO 101 00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:51,850 [ loudly ] NO MATTER HOW BORING IT'S GETTING! 102 00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:54,679 HUH. ANYTHING I CAN HELP WITH? 103 00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,586 OKAY, YOU FOUR, FRONT AND CENTER. 104 00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,025 WHY ME? I'M NOT IN A FIGHT. 105 00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:02,731 YOU NEED A FOURTH. WATCH "THE CRAFT." MOVE. 106 00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:08,433 OKAY, AS THE NEW SORT-OF-PROMOTED- 107 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:11,171 KIND-OF-EQUAL- NOT-QUITE-A-PARTNER-BUT- DEFINITELY-SOMEONE- 108 00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:14,173 WITH-MORE-AUTHORITY- THAN-SHE-HAD-YESTERDAY, I AM ORDERING YOU TO SPILL. 109 00:07:18,699 --> 00:07:21,479 BOO LIKES CHARLIE, CHARLIE LIKES GINNY, 110 00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:24,138 MELANIE SAYS GINNY CAN'T DATE CHARLIE BECAUSE BOO LIKED HIM FIRST, 111 00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:27,142 BUT GINNY THINKS SINCE BOO LIKES CARL SHE RELINQUISHES CHARLIE, 112 00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:30,705 WHO SHOULD REVERT BACK TO THE OPEN MARKET. AND ME, I WISH WE WERE ALL LESBIANS. 113 00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:33,504 WOW, OKAY, UH... GINNY, YOU LIKE CHARLIE. 114 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:36,500 - AND HE LIKES ME. - AND, MELANIE, YOU THINK SHE SHOULDN'T DATE HIM? 115 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:38,813 - BOO HAS DIBS. - SO YOU LIKE HIM FOR BOO? 116 00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:41,899 - I DON'T LIKE HIM FOR ANYONE. - BUT IF BOO WANTS CARL 117 00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:44,549 AND IS OKAY WITH GINNY DATING CHARLIE, 118 00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:47,474 COULD YOU FIND A WAY TO POSSIBLY TO BE OKAY WITH IT AT ALL? 119 00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:50,210 THE ALTERATIVE BEING YOU MIGHT LOSE A REALLY PERKY FRIEND. 120 00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:52,652 - I'LL DEAL. - REALLY? 121 00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:56,039 ON THE CONDITION THAT I NEVER HAVE TO HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT CHARLIE-- EVER. 122 00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:59,044 NOTHING ABOUT HIS HAIR OR HIS CAR OR HIS CREEPY CHICKEN HANDS. 123 00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:01,517 I PROMISE. I WON'T TALK TO YOU ABOUT CHARLIE AT ALL. 124 00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:04,218 - FINE. - BOO? 125 00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:07,226 - CHARLIE DOESN'T LIKE ME. - NOT THE POINT. 126 00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:09,229 - THE POINT IS THAT... - I LIKE CARL. 127 00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:12,231 - YES. SO...? - IT'S FINE. 128 00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:15,104 - YOU DATING CHARLIE IS FINE. - GOOD GIVE. 129 00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:17,666 NOW WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO FOR HER, BLONDIE? 130 00:08:17,714 --> 00:08:20,244 - NO MORE SHORT-CARL JOKES-- FROM EITHER OF US. - WHAT?! 131 00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:23,152 WE WILL BE COMPLETELY NICE TO HIM AND WE'LL HELP YOU GET HIM BACK. 132 00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:25,678 C'MON! I HAVEN'T CALLED HIM BILBO BAGGINS YET! 133 00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:27,122 - Michelle: MELANIE! - FINE. 134 00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:29,938 WELL HANDLED. OKAY, UH, GUM WRAPPER. 135 00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:33,157 OKAY, EVERYONE WRITE YOUR NAME ON THIS VERY OFFICIAL DOCUMENT 136 00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:36,648 AND CONSIDER THE FIRST OFFICIAL 137 00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:39,210 PARADISE DANCE ACADEMY PEACE ACCORD ENACTED. 138 00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:41,557 HEAR YE, HURRAH, STRAWBERRY FIELDS FOREVER. 139 00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:45,871 YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE? I KOFI ANNAN-ED THEIR BUTTS. 140 00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:48,526 VERY IMPRESSIVE. WHO'S THE SPINNER? 141 00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:51,751 OH WOW. WHERE DID SHE COME FROM? 142 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:55,542 OH, I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THAT MIGHT BE. HUH, THAT'S WEIRD. 143 00:09:03,325 --> 00:09:06,145 - MADAME FANNY? - SASHA! 144 00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:08,587 GOODNESS, I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COME IN. 145 00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:11,155 - HOW ARE YOU? - I'M FINE. WHO IS THAT? 146 00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:12,902 - WHO? - HER. 147 00:09:12,943 --> 00:09:15,213 THE PERSON DANCING NONSTOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR. 148 00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,600 OH HER. 149 00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:19,654 - WELL, THAT'S-- - DID YOU CALL IN THE RINGER? 150 00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:22,169 I DID! I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. 151 00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:25,613 - IS SHE GOING TO BE CLARA? - NO, YOU ARE CLARA. 152 00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:28,792 WELL, IS SOMEBODY GOING TO TELL MUSIC-BOX BALLERINA OVER THERE? 153 00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:30,739 YES, OF COURSE. 154 00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:33,657 I MEAN, IT'S TOO LATE TO SEND HER BACK NOW. ARRANGEMENTS HAVE BEEN MADE. 155 00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:35,583 SHE'LL BE HERE AT LEAST A WEEK. 156 00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,268 I'LL JUST GIVE HER A DIFFERENT ROLE. 157 00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:39,315 I WONDER HOW SHE'LL FEEL ABOUT THAT. 158 00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:41,231 I DON'T KNOW. DO MACHINES FEEL? 159 00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:43,626 - YOU TELL HER! - WHAT? 160 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:46,320 YES! AS PART OF YOUR PUNISHMENT, YOU HAVE TO GO OVER THERE 161 00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:49,148 - AND TELL HER SHE'S NOT PLAYING CLARA. - ARE YOU AFRAID OF HER? 162 00:09:49,197 --> 00:09:52,107 NO, I'M NOT AFRAID OF HER. 163 00:09:52,156 --> 00:09:55,986 THIS IS A LIFE LESSON. YOUR BEHAVIOR GOT US INTO THIS SITUATION, 164 00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:58,250 SO YOUR BEHAVIOR SHOULD GET US OUT OF IT. 165 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:02,690 - FINE. - WAIT! 166 00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:09,828 GO! 167 00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:16,011 HEY. I'M SASHA. 168 00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,880 WOW, YOUR SHOES SHOULD BE RED. 169 00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:21,272 I WRAP MY FEET IN CELLOPHANE SO THE BLOOD DOESN'T SOAK THROUGH. 170 00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:24,356 NO, I DIDN'T MEAN LIKE-- NEVER MIND. 171 00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:27,316 SO THERE'S BEEN A LITTLE MISTAKE. 172 00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:29,235 YOU WERE CALLED DOWN HERE TO-- 173 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,760 TO PLAY CLARA? I KNOW. I'M READY. 174 00:10:31,805 --> 00:10:34,805 YEAH WELL, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO REPLACE ME, 175 00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:37,381 BUT NOW I'M BACK, SO YOU DON'T NEED TO. 176 00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,992 - ANYMORE. - REPLACE YOU? 177 00:10:42,032 --> 00:10:44,252 - YEAH. - WHERE WERE YOU? 178 00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:47,205 I, UH, QUIT BALLET FOR A WHILE. 179 00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:49,385 - TO DO WHAT? - TO... 180 00:10:49,431 --> 00:10:51,301 BE A CHEERLEADER. 181 00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:53,776 OH! 182 00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:57,743 YEAH, SO THANKS FOR COMING, 183 00:10:57,787 --> 00:11:00,827 - BUT BYE! - YOU KNOW, I'VE SEEN YOUR KIND BEFORE. 184 00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:04,047 YOU GET INTO BALLET FOR THE TUTUS. 185 00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:06,708 I DID NOT GET INTO BALLET FOR THE TUTUS. 186 00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:09,323 BUT THEN YOU GET OLDER AND SUDDENLY THERE'S BOYS 187 00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:12,284 AND CLOTHES AND... CHEERLEADING. 188 00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:15,413 YEAH WELL, WHATEVER, I'M HERE NOW, 189 00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:18,717 - SO I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. - WE'LL SEE. 190 00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:22,285 LOOK, MADAME FANNY SAID SHE'D GIVE YOU ANOTHER PART TO PLAY IF YOU-- 191 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:25,253 COULD YOU STOP DANCING FOR ONE FREAKING MOMENT?! 192 00:11:25,293 --> 00:11:27,733 I'LL STOP DANCING. I'LL STOP DANCING 193 00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:30,434 AFTER I TAKE MY BOW IN "THE NUTCRACKER"... 194 00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:32,132 AS CLARA. 195 00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:44,921 HEY, RICO, YOUR PLACE LOOKS GREAT. 196 00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:47,265 YEAH, THERE'S A LOT OF FREAKING PEOPLE IN HERE. 197 00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,835 - I KNOW. GREAT TURNOUT. - I MEAN THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. 198 00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:52,453 - THEY'RE USING THE BATHROOMS. - THAT WAS PART OF THE TICKET PRICE-- 199 00:11:52,494 --> 00:11:55,284 - FOOD, DRINKS, WORKING TOILETS. - BUT HOW LONG ARE THEY GOING TO STAY? 200 00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:58,283 - THE PARTY'S TILL 10:00. - 10:00? THAT'S LIKE FOUR HOURS FROM NOW. 201 00:11:58,326 --> 00:11:59,976 - WHO AGREED TO THIS? - YOU DID! 202 00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:02,243 OH, WHAT THE FRAK! 203 00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:05,246 - ARE YOU PAYING ME A LOT? - YOU DONATED THE PLACE. 204 00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:07,859 - YEAH, THAT SOUNDS LIKE ME. - HAVE A DRINK. 205 00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:11,341 IT WILL ALL LOOK BETTER AFTER A DRINK. CHINA, SET HIM UP GOOD. 206 00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:14,262 - YOU GOT IT. - Ginny: THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING. 207 00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:16,208 Melanie: SEE YOU AT THE SHOW! 208 00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:18,827 OKAY, WHOSE GROSS HAND DO WE HAVE TO SHAKE NEXT? 209 00:12:18,868 --> 00:12:20,518 I SAY WE WAIT A FEW MINUTES 210 00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:23,345 AND LET THE FOUR DIFFERENT KINDS OF BIRD FLU SINK INTO OUR PORES 211 00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,794 BEFORE WE GO FOR THE MALARIA-EBOLA TRIFECTA. 212 00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:28,792 - I WANT TO LIVE IN A BUBBLE. - HEY, DON'T LOOK TOO CLOSELY, 213 00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:31,785 - BUT OLD MAN PURDEE LEFT HIS FLY UNZIPPED AGAIN. - UGH, I KNOW. 214 00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:35,148 - I WAS LOOKING FOR CARL. - I THINK I SAW HIM UNDER THE SINK. 215 00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,795 - MELANIE, WRAPPER! - THAT WASN'T A SHORT JOKE. 216 00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:41,276 HE WAS LITERALLY UNDER THE SINK. 217 00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:43,065 HE MUST'VE DROPPED SOMETHING. 218 00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:45,290 I DIDN'T SAY HE WAS LIVING UNDER THE SINK, GOD. 219 00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:49,159 STOP FOLLOWING ME. I'M NOT JUSTIN BIEBER! 220 00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:50,383 WHO? 221 00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:53,291 - SERIOUSLY? - WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS? 222 00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:55,427 WHAT IF YOU GET ABDUCTED BY ALIENS? 223 00:12:55,470 --> 00:12:58,820 WHAT IF SOME GUY GRABS YOU ON THE SIDEWALK AND THROWS YOU IN THE BACK OF A VAN? 224 00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:01,165 - THEN I'D HOPE YOU'D CALL THE POLICE. - OF COURSE. 225 00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:03,035 AFTER REHEARSAL. 226 00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:06,444 - HEY, CARL! - HEY. 227 00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:08,881 - SO MANY PEOPLE HERE TONIGHT. - LOVE THOSE BOOTS. 228 00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:10,528 - DIGGING THE HAT. - OKAY? 229 00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:12,842 - YOU HAVE ANY PLANS FOR THE SUMMER? - CAMP. 230 00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,969 - S'MORES! - AWESOME. 231 00:13:15,011 --> 00:13:17,361 YEAH, I'M GOING TO GO NOW. 232 00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:19,445 OKAY. BYE, CARL. 233 00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:21,984 YOU'RE WAY TALLER THAN PRINCE. 234 00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:24,888 - THAT WAS HARD. - I THINK I ACTUALLY PULLED SOMETHING. 235 00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:29,423 WHAT? DID THE PIZZA BITES FINALLY COME OUT? 236 00:13:30,374 --> 00:13:32,124 WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE, GINNY? 237 00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:34,289 I MENTIONED THE FUNDRAISER TO CHARLIE IN ONE OF OUR TEXTS. 238 00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:36,205 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU TWO WERE TEXTING. 239 00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,300 WE AGREED I WASN'T GOING TO TALK ABOUT CHARLIE TO YOU. 240 00:13:38,339 --> 00:13:40,079 GUM WRAPPER, REMEMBER? 241 00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:43,563 HEY, GINNY, YOU LOOK CUTE. WHO'S THE DUDE YOU'RE WITH? 242 00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:46,385 VERY FUNNY. IT'S NICE YOU BRING YOUR WIFE EVERYWHERE. 243 00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:49,394 YOU WANNA MAYBE GO SOMEWHERE WHERE THE SCENERY IS LESS REVOLTING? 244 00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:51,437 - UM, SURE. - COOL. 245 00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:53,142 LATER. 246 00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:55,920 I HAVE TO HAND IT TO HER, MICHELLE REALLY CAME THROUGH. 247 00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:59,575 - LOOK AT ALL THESE PEOPLE. - YOU MEAN LOOK AT ALL OF THESE WALKING DOLLAR SIGNS. 248 00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:02,451 - OH, MICHAEL... BUT YES. - [ laughs ] 249 00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:05,853 SO I DON'T WANT TO SAY I TOTALLY DELIVERED, BUT... 250 00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:10,015 - BUT WHAT? - YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY "YOU TOTALLY DID." 251 00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:12,896 I AM? I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY "TOTALLY"? 252 00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:15,419 - I DON'T THINK SO. - WHY WON'T SHE GIVE ME MY PROPS? 253 00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:18,903 JUST FIVE MINUTES AGO SHE WAS SAYING THAT YOU REALLY CAME THROUGH. 254 00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:20,855 - YOU'RE KIDDING. - DON'T TELL HER THAT. 255 00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:24,343 - WAIT, WHAT ELSE DID SHE SAY? - SHE SAID THAT YOU WERE GOING TO BE OVER HERE 256 00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:28,385 FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS, BUT I SAID THAT YOU WERE TOO GOOD FOR THAT. 257 00:14:30,652 --> 00:14:32,522 - NEVER MIND. - [ both laughing ] 258 00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:37,616 BE RIGHT BACK. 259 00:14:37,659 --> 00:14:40,439 DON'T DO IT. THE ANSWER'S NEVER IN A CITRUS SLICE. 260 00:14:40,488 --> 00:14:42,578 HAVE A SHOT INSTEAD. 261 00:14:42,620 --> 00:14:45,010 I'M AN IDIOT. 262 00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:47,968 PUT THAT COMMENT INTO CONTEXT BEFORE I FORM A RESPONSE. 263 00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:50,497 I TOTALLY BLEW IT WITH CARL. 264 00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:53,241 I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE I LIKED HIM UNTIL HE WAS GONE. 265 00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:55,203 WELL, HE DIDN'T GO FAR. HE'S OVER THERE. 266 00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:58,112 MIGHT AS WELL BE IN SINGAPORE, HE'S NEVER COMING NEAR ME AGAIN. 267 00:14:58,158 --> 00:15:00,508 - YOU HURT HIS FEELINGS, BOO. - I KNOW. 268 00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:04,381 YOU DID THE DAMAGE, NOW YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT RIGHT. 269 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:07,515 SO GET UP AND GO MAKE IT RIGHT. 270 00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:19,566 - WHAT DID YOU DO? - JUST SPREADING THE YODA AROUND. 271 00:15:19,614 --> 00:15:21,444 OH MY GOD. 272 00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:24,135 - IS THIS ON? - TRY THE VEAL! 273 00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:27,144 - WHAT? - NEVER MIND. GO ON. YAY, BOO. 274 00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:29,277 [ crowd cheering ] 275 00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:31,019 THANK YOU. 276 00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:34,060 UM, I'D LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY 277 00:15:34,107 --> 00:15:36,067 TO SAY SOMETHING 278 00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:37,629 HERE 279 00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:40,325 IN FRONT OF A LOT OF PEOPLE. 280 00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:43,334 IT'S HUMILIATING AND I DESERVE TO BE HUMILIATED. 281 00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:46,337 - WOW, THIS KID SHOULD BE A NUN. - CARL? 282 00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:50,600 I LIKE YOU. YOU'RE GREAT AND I THINK YOU'RE HOT. 283 00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:54,255 - NEVER MIND. - AND I AM SUCH A DOPE, 284 00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:56,691 A BIG STUPID SLOBBERING MORON. 285 00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:59,308 - THIS WAS YOUR ADVICE? - I DIDN'T WRITE IT OUT FOR HER. 286 00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:01,439 I KNOW TONIGHT ISN'T ABOUT YOU AND ME-- 287 00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:04,662 NOT THAT THERE IS A YOU AND ME. BUT IF THERE WAS A YOU AND ME, 288 00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:08,012 TONIGHT WOULD DEFINITELY NOT BE THE NIGHT TO DISCUSS IT, HERE, 289 00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:11,624 - OR ANY PUBLIC PLACE PROBABLY. - GET IN THERE AND SAVE HER. 290 00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:14,276 - I'M GOING. - BUT YOU PUT IT ALL OUT THERE FOR ME ONCE 291 00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:16,541 - AND NOW IT'S MY TURN. - [ "Rainbow Connection" playing ] 292 00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:19,504 YOU'RE AMAZING AND YOU LIKED ME. 293 00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:22,593 AND I WAS LUCKY AND I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT. 294 00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:25,423 AND I WAS STUPID AND I'M SORRY 295 00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:28,342 - AND I WILL BE SORRY FOREVER. - SIT. 296 00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:31,028 - SITTING. - I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO FORGIVE ME, 297 00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:34,037 BUT IF YOU EVER DECIDED THAT 298 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,730 YOU WANT GINGER AROUND AGAIN, 299 00:16:35,777 --> 00:16:38,557 I'M HERE, FRED. THANK YOU. 300 00:16:38,606 --> 00:16:41,086 Crowd: AWWW. 301 00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:48,217 - HI. - WOW. 302 00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:50,488 YOU TALKED ABOUT ME LIKE I'M RYAN GOSLING. 303 00:16:50,531 --> 00:16:53,141 WELL, THAT'S HOW I FEEL, SO... 304 00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:58,446 - SHOULD WE TAKE THAT DANCE? - ♪ Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection ♪ 305 00:16:58,495 --> 00:17:03,535 ♪ The lovers, the dreamers and me... ♪ 306 00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:06,367 YEAH, I'M STILL MORE FRED ARMISEN THAN FRED ASTAIRE. 307 00:17:06,416 --> 00:17:08,636 I DON'T THINK SO. 308 00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:12,029 ♪ We know that it's probably magic... ♪ 309 00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:15,034 - THIS IS GONNA TO SUCK. - I'M COUNTING ON IT. 310 00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:20,595 ♪ Have you been half asleep ♪ 311 00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:24,168 ♪ And have you heard voices? ♪ 312 00:17:24,217 --> 00:17:29,267 ♪ I've heard them calling my name ♪ 313 00:17:31,485 --> 00:17:34,705 ♪ Is this the sweet sound ♪ 314 00:17:34,749 --> 00:17:37,749 ♪ That called the young sailors? ♪ 315 00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:43,665 ♪ The voice might be one and the same ♪ 316 00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:49,071 ♪ I've heard it too many times ♪ 317 00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:51,461 ♪ To ignore it 318 00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:56,245 ♪ There's something that I'm supposed to be... ♪ 319 00:17:58,599 --> 00:18:01,559 - [ glass shatters ] - ♪ Someday we'll find it 320 00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:05,132 ♪ The Rainbow Connection 321 00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:09,781 ♪ The lovers, the dreamers and me... ♪ 322 00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:14,623 THAT WAS VERY IMPRESSIVE. 323 00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:16,438 GOT MY PROPS! 324 00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:26,666 Fanny: GOD, THIS THING WON'T END. WHAT TIME IS IT? 325 00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:28,594 9:15. SOMEONE'S SUDDENLY CRABBY. 326 00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:30,669 - I'M TIRED. - YOU'RE NEVER TIRED. 327 00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:36,156 - MONTANA WAS FOR HIM, NOT US. - WHAT? 328 00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,772 ALL THAT TALK ABOUT MONTANA WAS JUST FOR HIM. 329 00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:42,383 IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. HE BOUGHT A PIECE OF LAND THERE. 330 00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:44,855 ALREADY PAID FOR IT. HE'S GOING TO BUILD A HOUSE. 331 00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:47,596 WHAT A MAN WHO'S ONLY LIVED IN HOTELS HIS ENTIRE ADULT LIFE 332 00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:50,648 KNOWS ABOUT BUILDING A HOUSE IS BEYOND ME, BUT THERE IT IS. 333 00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:52,444 DID YOU TELL HIM ABOUT THE CABIN? 334 00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:54,739 - THE CABIN DOESN'T MATTER NOW. - BUT DID YOU TALK TO HIM? 335 00:18:54,785 --> 00:18:56,525 DOES HE UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL? 336 00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:59,360 ALL THESE YEARS HE'S NEVER OWNED A HOUSE, A CAR. 337 00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:03,359 HE EVEN RENTED HIS TUX TO PLAY FOR GIGS-- SAID HE DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE "THINGS." 338 00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:06,453 NOW HE WANTS "THINGS." THINGS IN MONTANA. 339 00:19:06,493 --> 00:19:08,283 OH, FANNY. 340 00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:11,281 WELL, THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. 341 00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:13,894 I HAVE GUESTS HERE. I HAVE THE SCHOOL TO THINK ABOUT. 342 00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:16,235 - BUT-- - I'M GOING TO MAKE THE ROUNDS. 343 00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:22,162 SO SHOULD WE DATE? 344 00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:23,774 - WHAT?! - WELL-- 345 00:19:23,814 --> 00:19:27,344 HELL FREEZES OVER, I'D BUY A SWEATER. I DO NOT DATE YOU. 346 00:19:27,383 --> 00:19:29,823 HEY, I DON'T WANT TO DATE YOU EITHER. I JUST THOUGHT, 347 00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:33,484 WITH CHARLIE DATING GINNY, DON'T WE HAVE TO, TOO? 348 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,610 OH MY GOD. 349 00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:38,832 IT'S JUST EASIER! THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH ROOM IN THE CAR! 350 00:19:38,873 --> 00:19:40,923 - I'M LEAVING. - OH, IS IT LATE? WHAT TIME IS IT? 351 00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:44,662 IT'S HALF PAST I'M-NOT- SITTING-AT-THAT-TABLE- WITH-THAT-LOSER-ANYMORE. 352 00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:46,225 - BYE. - WAIT, I'LL COME WITH YOU! 353 00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:48,362 - NO! - I HAVE TO GO. 354 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:50,804 - REALLY? - YEAH, SHE-- ANYHOW. 355 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,410 IT WAS REALLY NICE THAT YOU CAME TONIGHT. 356 00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:57,715 UH, SURE, SO... 357 00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:02,240 - OW! - ARE YOU OKAY? 358 00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:05,378 - CRAP, I'M BLEEDING! - I THINK THAT'S MY BLOOD ACTUALLY. 359 00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:07,551 - MY LIP IS SPLIT. - I'M SORRY. CAN I SEE? 360 00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:10,247 NO NO, I'M FINE. I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 361 00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:11,946 LET'S BAIL. 362 00:20:11,993 --> 00:20:15,303 - MICHAEL. - YOU ARE INTELLIGENT, 363 00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:18,264 VERY THIN AND YOU HAVE EXCELLENT HAIR. 364 00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:19,964 CAN I TALK TO YOU A SEC? 365 00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:22,741 THAT SOUNDS SERIOUS. SHOULD I ORDER ANOTHER DRINK? 366 00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:25,616 - IT'S ABOUT MONTANA. - WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MONTANA? 367 00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:28,749 - I KNOW YOU BOUGHT SOME LAND THERE. - FIVE ACRES, NOT A LOT, 368 00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:32,752 BUT ENOUGH TO BUILD A HOUSE AND MAYBE A RECORDING STUDIO OUT BACK. 369 00:20:32,796 --> 00:20:35,356 - SOUNDS LIKE IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT. - ONE SNOWSTORM 370 00:20:35,408 --> 00:20:38,588 AND WE COULD BE TALKING ABOUT THE LAST 15 MINUTES OF "THE SHINING." 371 00:20:38,628 --> 00:20:41,498 BUT I'M HOPING FOR THE BEST. 372 00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:43,814 AND FANNY? 373 00:20:43,851 --> 00:20:46,421 - WHAT ABOUT FANNY? - DOES SHE GET TO BE YOUR SHELLEY DUVALL? 374 00:20:46,462 --> 00:20:48,812 DOES SHE WANT TO BE MY SHELLEY DUVALL? 375 00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:52,466 - WELL, I DIDN'T ACTUALLY MEAN-- - DID YOU SEE "THE SHINING"? 376 00:20:52,512 --> 00:20:54,822 - I WAS TRYING TO BE THEMATIC. - HE COMES AFTER HER WITH AN AXE! 377 00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:56,862 FORGET SHELLEY DUVALL. IT'S JUST IN THE PAST, 378 00:20:56,907 --> 00:20:59,867 WHEN YOU TALKED ABOUT MONTANA, FANNY WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION 379 00:20:59,910 --> 00:21:01,910 THAT IT WAS FOR BOTH OF YOU. 380 00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:05,606 FANNY IN MONTANA? COME ON. 381 00:21:05,655 --> 00:21:08,005 NO, I'M SERIOUS. SHE ACTUALLY WENT OUT 382 00:21:08,049 --> 00:21:10,829 AND FOUND A CABIN TO RENT FOR THE TWO OF YOU THIS SUMMER. 383 00:21:10,878 --> 00:21:13,708 I WAS GOING TO TAKE OVER THE DANCE STUDIO. 384 00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:15,710 SHE WAS GOING TO SURPRISE YOU. 385 00:21:18,364 --> 00:21:20,674 WELL... I'M SURPRISED. 386 00:21:20,714 --> 00:21:23,674 I THINK SHE FIGURED SINCE YOU WEREN'T GOING TO BE ON THE ROAD SO MUCH, 387 00:21:23,717 --> 00:21:26,937 THAT YOU GUYS COULD FINALLY REALLY BE TOGETHER. 388 00:21:26,981 --> 00:21:30,511 I KNOW THIS IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS 389 00:21:30,550 --> 00:21:32,860 BUT I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW. FANNY'S SO STUBBORN. 390 00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:36,340 - I UNDERSTAND. - YOU DO? 391 00:21:36,382 --> 00:21:38,692 - AND I APPRECIATE THE INFORMATION. - GOOD. 392 00:21:38,732 --> 00:21:41,042 OKAY GOOD. 393 00:21:41,082 --> 00:21:42,612 CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK? 394 00:21:42,649 --> 00:21:45,349 ALL THE PROCEEDS GO TO KEEPING BALLERINAS IN BUNION PADS. 395 00:21:45,391 --> 00:21:47,871 SURE. YOU ORDER. I'M GOING TO GO MAKE A CALL. 396 00:21:47,915 --> 00:21:50,695 CELLPHONE SERVICE IN HERE'S NOT SO GOOD. 397 00:21:50,744 --> 00:21:53,704 - OKAY. CHINA, TWO MORE! - SURE THING. 398 00:21:55,705 --> 00:21:57,525 - HEY! - WHOA. SORRY. 399 00:21:57,577 --> 00:21:59,707 - THAT'S MY HIDING PLACE. - WHO ARE YOU HIDING FROM? 400 00:21:59,753 --> 00:22:01,763 - THE TOE-SHOE TERMINATOR. - WHO? 401 00:22:01,798 --> 00:22:03,838 CRAZY CHICK WANTS MY PART IN "THE NUTCRACKER." 402 00:22:03,887 --> 00:22:06,667 SHE'S MENTAL, SHE'S LETHAL AND SHE'S PIROUETTING AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE. 403 00:22:06,716 --> 00:22:08,756 - HEY, I KNOW YOU. - NO. 404 00:22:08,805 --> 00:22:11,895 - YOU'RE ON THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD. - OH YEAH, I WAS. 405 00:22:11,939 --> 00:22:14,809 I'M TYLER. I'M ON THE BASKETBALL TEAM. 406 00:22:14,855 --> 00:22:17,805 - I'VE SEEN YOU AT GAMES. - AH WELL, HELL OF A SEASON YOU'RE HAVING. 407 00:22:17,858 --> 00:22:20,728 - WE'RE 0 AND 12. - CONSISTENCY IS EVERYTHING. 408 00:22:20,774 --> 00:22:23,084 SO YOU'RE NOT CHEERING ANYMORE? 409 00:22:23,124 --> 00:22:25,524 AS SOON AS I REALIZED "VICTORY" AND THEIR FIRST NAMES 410 00:22:25,561 --> 00:22:27,871 WERE ALL THEY COULD ACTUALLY SPELL, I WAS OUTTA THERE. 411 00:22:27,911 --> 00:22:29,781 - NOT YOUR CROWD? - NOT AT ALL. 412 00:22:32,916 --> 00:22:35,566 - WELL, I SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK. - BYE. 413 00:22:35,615 --> 00:22:37,785 SEE YOU. 414 00:22:37,834 --> 00:22:39,404 - WAIT! - YEAH? 415 00:22:39,445 --> 00:22:41,615 - YOU MIND? - OH. SURE. 416 00:22:50,978 --> 00:22:54,068 - "IN-A-GADDA-DA-VIDA"? - "WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO." 417 00:22:54,111 --> 00:22:55,941 OH, SO CLOSE. 418 00:22:55,983 --> 00:22:59,603 - SAME SHORTS. NEW SHIRT? - SAME SHIRT. INSIDE OUT. 419 00:22:59,639 --> 00:23:02,769 - WOW, VERY KATE MIDDLETON. - SHE IS MY PRIMARY ROLE MODEL. 420 00:23:02,816 --> 00:23:05,596 - WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT AT THIS THING? - I THOUGHT YOU'D BE HERE. 421 00:23:05,645 --> 00:23:07,815 STRAIGHT TO THE POINT. 422 00:23:07,864 --> 00:23:09,874 NO FANCY COY TALK, NO CLEVER BANTER. 423 00:23:09,910 --> 00:23:12,830 I'M GOING TO AUSTRALIA NEXT WEEK SO I GOTTA MOVE THINGS ALONG. 424 00:23:12,869 --> 00:23:15,869 - WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO IN AUSTRALIA? - DON'T KNOW. 425 00:23:15,916 --> 00:23:17,786 - HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA BE THERE? - NOT A CLUE. 426 00:23:17,831 --> 00:23:19,791 - YOU EVER PUT A SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE? - ONCE, 427 00:23:19,833 --> 00:23:21,443 BUT IT WAS ON AN ACTUAL GIRL NAMED BARBIE. 428 00:23:21,487 --> 00:23:24,617 - I DON'T THINK I WANT A FURTHER EXPLANATION. - GOOD. 429 00:23:30,931 --> 00:23:33,411 I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS THE NIGHT FOR THIS. 430 00:23:36,763 --> 00:23:39,033 OR MAYBE I'M WRONG. 431 00:23:42,856 --> 00:23:44,856 [ music playing ] 432 00:24:12,886 --> 00:24:16,886 - [ music stops ] - OH MY GOD, STOP! I GIVE! 433 00:24:16,933 --> 00:24:20,723 - WHAT? - THAT IS THE MOST BORING DUET IN THE HISTORY OF DUETS. 434 00:24:20,763 --> 00:24:23,203 I HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO STAND IT, EVER. 435 00:24:23,244 --> 00:24:26,734 IT JUST GOES ON AND ON WITH THAT ANNOYING MONOTONOUS MUSIC. 436 00:24:26,769 --> 00:24:29,689 I CAN'T DO IT. IT'S CUT. I'M CUTTING IT OUT OF THE BALLET. 437 00:24:29,729 --> 00:24:32,509 AND THE DANCE WORLD HOISTS ME UP ON THEIR SHOULDERS. 438 00:24:32,558 --> 00:24:35,208 - WHAT ABOUT MY SOLO? - OH. 439 00:24:35,256 --> 00:24:38,166 RIGHT. DO THE "CHINESE DANCE." 440 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:45,880 STOP SINGLE-WHITE- FEMALE-ING ME! 441 00:24:45,919 --> 00:24:47,659 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 442 00:24:47,703 --> 00:24:49,973 - IT'S A MOVIE. - A CHEERLEADER AND A MOVIEGOER. 443 00:24:50,010 --> 00:24:51,880 AND THEN CHARLIE BENT DOWN AS I WENT UP 444 00:24:51,925 --> 00:24:55,225 AND OF COURSE YOU CAN GUESS WHAT HAPPENED-- BANG! TOTAL COLLISION. 445 00:24:55,276 --> 00:24:57,836 - GINNY. - WHAT? DID YOU HEAR? 446 00:24:57,887 --> 00:24:59,977 I'M SORRY. I WASN'T TELLING YOU. I WAS TELLING MATISSE. 447 00:25:00,020 --> 00:25:03,150 - YEAH, I NEED TO GET TO THE ROSIN. - OH SORRY. 448 00:25:03,197 --> 00:25:05,587 - GOOD? - TERRIFIC. 449 00:25:05,634 --> 00:25:08,554 [ whispering ] THE BOTTOM LINE IS HE WOULD HAVE KISSED ME. 450 00:25:08,594 --> 00:25:11,074 I HOPE HIS TEETH ARE OKAY. THEY SEEMED REALLY STRONG. 451 00:25:11,118 --> 00:25:14,598 THEY ACTUALLY LEFT A MARK HERE IN MY SCALP. SEE? IS IT STILL THERE? 452 00:25:23,260 --> 00:25:25,090 THAT BOO IS GOOD. 453 00:25:25,132 --> 00:25:27,532 SHE IS GOOD. 454 00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:30,829 HAVE YOU EVER PUT GROUND GLASS IN YOUR RIVAL'S TOE SHOE? 455 00:25:32,574 --> 00:25:35,274 - NO. - HUH. 456 00:25:39,102 --> 00:25:41,842 [ music playing ] 457 00:25:54,074 --> 00:25:57,604 - [ music stops ] - WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL. 458 00:25:57,643 --> 00:26:00,953 THE ONLY THING MORE BORING THAN THE "ARABIAN DANCE" IS THE "CHINESE DANCE." 459 00:26:00,994 --> 00:26:03,044 IT'S CUT. OUT OF THE BALLET. 460 00:26:03,083 --> 00:26:06,963 - WHAT CAN YOU DO THAT'S NOT GOING TO PUT ME TO SLEEP? - THE "SPANISH DANCE"? 461 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,790 DOESN'T SOUND PROMISING, BUT SURE, DO THAT. 462 00:26:09,829 --> 00:26:12,789 BOO! TINY FAN PLEASE. 463 00:26:16,836 --> 00:26:19,186 IS EVERYTHING OKAY, MADAME FANNY? 464 00:26:19,229 --> 00:26:21,009 IN WHAT SENSE? 465 00:26:21,057 --> 00:26:23,627 YOU SEEM LIKE YOU'RE IN A BAD MOOD. 466 00:26:23,669 --> 00:26:25,889 MY MOOD IS FINE! 467 00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:30,760 REALLY?! 468 00:26:30,806 --> 00:26:33,976 MAYBE IT'S TOO SOON TO THINK ABOUT PROM SINCE IT'S STILL A COUPLE YEARS OFF, 469 00:26:34,027 --> 00:26:37,857 BUT FORMING A PERFECT PROM-NIGHT POTENTIAL-SEX CONTINGENCY PLAN TAKES TIME. 470 00:26:37,900 --> 00:26:39,820 IT'S A DELICATE MATTER. NOW ASSUMING 471 00:26:39,859 --> 00:26:41,989 WE HAVEN'T CONSUMMATED THE RELATIONSHIP YET, 472 00:26:42,035 --> 00:26:44,335 A GENTLE BUT DEFINITIVE "NO" MESSAGE 473 00:26:44,385 --> 00:26:47,685 HAS TO BE DELIVERED IN A WAY THAT DOESN'T MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE LESS OF A MAN. 474 00:26:47,736 --> 00:26:50,036 HOWEVER, IF THE DEED HAS BEEN DONE ALREADY, THEN YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE 475 00:26:50,086 --> 00:26:52,736 HE DOESN'T TAKE YOU TO A CHEAP DUMP JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE ALREADY GIVEN IT UP. 476 00:26:52,785 --> 00:26:55,085 - YOU KNOW I'M ONLY 12, RIGHT? - OH. 477 00:26:55,135 --> 00:26:58,915 YEAH, SO THIS WHOLE TALK IS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE. 478 00:26:58,965 --> 00:27:02,005 - SORRY. DID YOU HEAR? - IT'S FINE. 479 00:27:02,055 --> 00:27:04,185 NO, I PROMISED NOT TO TALK ABOUT... 480 00:27:04,231 --> 00:27:08,101 THE PERSON I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT, SO I'M NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT... 481 00:27:08,148 --> 00:27:10,238 PERSON. 482 00:27:12,152 --> 00:27:14,942 [ chatting ] 483 00:27:16,852 --> 00:27:19,072 - I THINK I'M GOING TO WALK HOME. - GINNY. 484 00:27:26,732 --> 00:27:28,302 AS SOON AS THE GUYS ARE DONE, YOU CAN OPEN THE HOUSE. 485 00:27:28,342 --> 00:27:30,692 HOW IS IT? FIXED? PERFECT, THAT'S ALL I WANT TO HEAR. 486 00:27:30,736 --> 00:27:33,086 - Michelle: OKAY, JUST DON'T SWEAT AND YOU'LL BE FINE. - Girl: THANK YOU. 487 00:27:33,129 --> 00:27:36,309 - PLACE LOOKS GREAT. - Fanny: THE AIR CONDITIONERS ARE BEING DIFFICULT. 488 00:27:36,350 --> 00:27:38,400 - THE GUYS WILL FIX IT. - I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS CRAP. 489 00:27:38,439 --> 00:27:40,269 - YES, YOU ARE. - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 490 00:27:40,310 --> 00:27:42,400 IT MEANS YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN AND LET ME FIX YOUR LASHES. 491 00:27:42,443 --> 00:27:45,403 MY LASHES? WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY LASHES? 492 00:27:45,446 --> 00:27:48,666 MY GOD. MY LASHES ARE CROOKED. 493 00:27:48,710 --> 00:27:51,970 I'VE BEEN WALKING AROUND WITH MY LASHES COMPLETELY CROOKED FOR AN HOUR 494 00:27:52,018 --> 00:27:55,368 - AND NO ONE SAYS A THING. - YES, WHERE'S A NICE DRAG QUEEN WHEN YOU NEED ONE? SIT. 495 00:27:55,412 --> 00:27:58,422 - OKAY. - MY GOD. 496 00:27:58,459 --> 00:28:00,809 ARE YOU FLEEING THE COUNTRY AFTER THE SHOW? 497 00:28:00,853 --> 00:28:03,253 IT'S MY ZOMBIE-APOCALYPSE VEGAS SLUT BAG. 498 00:28:03,290 --> 00:28:05,340 I TAKE IT TO EVERY PERFORMANCE WITH ME ALWAYS. 499 00:28:05,379 --> 00:28:07,989 IT HAS EVERYTHING YOU WOULD NEED IN ANY SORT OF SITUATION-- 500 00:28:08,034 --> 00:28:10,304 MONEY, POWER BARS, WATER, FLAXSEED OIL, 501 00:28:10,340 --> 00:28:12,910 BOBBY PINS, HAIR SPRAY, PONYTAIL HOLDERS, 502 00:28:12,952 --> 00:28:17,742 BOOB TAPE SO YOUR-- ON YOUR BOOBS, DON'T LOOK SO ♪ HELLO. 503 00:28:17,783 --> 00:28:21,133 - I KNOW WHAT BOOB TAPE DOES. - ...CONDOMS, HANDCUFFS, HANDCUFF KEYS. 504 00:28:21,177 --> 00:28:24,747 - YOU'RE LIKE AN X-RATED MARY POPPINS. - THEN OF COURSE BAND-AIDS, 505 00:28:24,790 --> 00:28:27,920 ACE BANDAGE, RAPE WHISTLE, DISPOSABLE CELLPHONE, 506 00:28:27,967 --> 00:28:31,317 LIPSTICK CASE YOU CAN HIDE SOME CYANIDE IN, PRETTY MACE... 507 00:28:31,361 --> 00:28:34,451 - PRETTY MACE? - YEP, MACE THAT COMES IN A PRETTY LITTLE SHINY BOTTLE 508 00:28:34,495 --> 00:28:37,405 THAT IF I PULLED IT OUT WOULD SAY TO THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE MUGGER, 509 00:28:37,454 --> 00:28:40,894 "DON'T BE AFRAID OF MY PRETTY SHINY BOTTLE. IT WON'T DO ANYTHING BUT BLIND YOU!" 510 00:28:40,936 --> 00:28:44,286 - GOOD LORD. - OH AND HERE, EYELASH GLUE. AND JUNIOR MINTS. 511 00:28:44,331 --> 00:28:47,901 - 'CAUSE SERIOUSLY, WHY NOT? - FIX MY LASHES BEFORE YOU GO BACK INTO THAT BAG AGAIN. 512 00:28:47,943 --> 00:28:49,473 LEAN BACK. 513 00:28:51,947 --> 00:28:54,337 THERE. NOW JUST SIT QUIET WHILE I RECITE THE CONTENTS 514 00:28:54,384 --> 00:28:57,434 OF MY "FOLLOWING U2, WHERE THE STREETS HAVE NO NAME, I LOVE YOU BONO" BAG. 515 00:28:57,474 --> 00:29:00,434 BYE-BYE. I'M OPENING THE HOUSE! 516 00:29:00,477 --> 00:29:03,087 15 MINUTES TO CURTAIN! 517 00:29:03,132 --> 00:29:05,532 FANNY! THE SHOW'S GOING TO BE GREAT. 518 00:29:12,272 --> 00:29:14,972 - HOW ARE YOU? - FINE. AND YOU? 519 00:29:15,014 --> 00:29:17,364 FINE. I HOPE YOU DON'T MESS UP OUR TRIO TONIGHT. 520 00:29:17,407 --> 00:29:19,757 - I WON'T. - YOU DON'T JUMP ON THREE. YOU JUMP ON FOUR. 521 00:29:19,801 --> 00:29:22,461 - I KNOW. - THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN KNOWING AND DOING. 522 00:29:22,499 --> 00:29:25,459 HOW ABOUT THIS: I PROMISE TO JUMP ON FOUR IF YOU PROMISE TO BITE ME ON THREE? 523 00:29:25,502 --> 00:29:27,812 - VERY CONSTRUCTIVE. - I'M NOTHING IF NOT HELPFUL. 524 00:29:27,853 --> 00:29:31,163 - DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. - I WANT TO JUST SCREW THE WHOLE DANCE UP FOR YOU AND EVERYONE. 525 00:29:31,204 --> 00:29:33,254 - FINE. - GREAT. 526 00:29:35,556 --> 00:29:38,296 THE TRUCE IS OFF. TRASH THE WRAPPER. 527 00:29:43,259 --> 00:29:45,519 LOOK WHO'S WEARING THE BOW NOW. 528 00:29:45,566 --> 00:29:47,566 I DO BELIEVE IT'S ME. 529 00:29:55,054 --> 00:29:56,494 AT LEAST I HAVE A NAME. 530 00:29:56,533 --> 00:29:58,493 YOU RUINED EVERYTHING WITH CHARLIE! 531 00:29:58,535 --> 00:30:00,355 I-- WHAT? 532 00:30:00,407 --> 00:30:03,317 YOU ARE ACTUALLY THE ONE WHO FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST. YOU KNOW THAT? 533 00:30:03,366 --> 00:30:06,496 DATING IS ALL ABOUT TIMING. I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU I RUINED MY TIMING. 534 00:30:06,543 --> 00:30:09,073 COMEDY IS ABOUT TIMING. DATING IS ABOUT UTTERING A SYLLABLE 535 00:30:09,111 --> 00:30:11,371 - WHEN YOU'RE WITH THE STUPID GUY. - YOU'RE A JERK. 536 00:30:11,418 --> 00:30:13,068 AND YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A TOTAL BABY. 537 00:30:13,115 --> 00:30:15,065 IN DATING YEARS YOU'RE IN SECOND GRADE. 538 00:30:15,117 --> 00:30:18,207 WHO ARE YOU TO TALK ABOUT DATING? WHO HAVE YOU EVER DATED EXCEPT YOUR COUSIN? 539 00:30:18,251 --> 00:30:21,561 HE WASN'T MY COUSIN! I ONLY CALLED HIS MOM AUNT BECAUSE WE'RE CLOSE! 540 00:30:21,602 --> 00:30:23,472 WHATEVER. ALL I KNOW IS HE'S AWFULLY TALL. 541 00:30:23,517 --> 00:30:26,297 - [ applause ] - HEY, LIGHTS ARE GOING DOWN. PLACES NOW! 542 00:30:35,572 --> 00:30:38,532 [ music playing ] 543 00:31:54,564 --> 00:31:57,524 - HOW'S IT GOING OUT THERE? - THE AIR CONDITIONING'S NOT WORKING. 544 00:31:57,567 --> 00:31:59,477 - IT MUST SMELL GREAT. WHO NEEDS A SPRAY? - I DO. 545 00:31:59,526 --> 00:32:01,216 EVERYONE, LINE UP, LINE UP. 546 00:32:01,267 --> 00:32:03,397 ALL RIGHT, OKAY... 547 00:32:05,445 --> 00:32:07,225 - [ groans ] CRAP. - I HAVE TO GO BACK ON! 548 00:32:07,273 --> 00:32:09,143 CHILL, CLARA. I HAVE MORE IN HERE. 549 00:32:09,188 --> 00:32:11,928 - OKAY, GOT IT. - [ shrieking ] 550 00:32:11,973 --> 00:32:13,983 WHAT? WHAT-- 551 00:32:14,019 --> 00:32:16,589 - [ shrieks ] - Melanie: WHAT THE HELL IS IT? 552 00:32:16,630 --> 00:32:19,150 - OH MY GOD! - Ginny: MY EYES ARE MELTING! 553 00:32:19,198 --> 00:32:21,978 - THIS ISN'T HAIRSPRAY, IT'S MACE. - YOU MACED US?! 554 00:32:22,027 --> 00:32:24,677 - I MACED YOU. - WHY, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? 555 00:32:24,725 --> 00:32:27,465 - IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. - AHH, THAT'S MY MUSIC! 556 00:32:27,510 --> 00:32:29,560 - WHERE'S THE STAGE? - THERE THERE. 557 00:33:11,424 --> 00:33:13,034 - BOO! - HERE! 558 00:33:13,078 --> 00:33:16,558 - NEED A SPECIFIC-- UP, DOWN, RIGHT, LEFT. - HERE. 559 00:33:16,603 --> 00:33:18,693 - HERE. - AHHH! 560 00:33:18,735 --> 00:33:22,035 I FOUND YOU. UHHH AHHH AHHH. 561 00:33:22,087 --> 00:33:23,697 - [ moaning ] - WATER, I'VE GOT WATER. 562 00:33:23,740 --> 00:33:26,570 EVERYONE, TRY TO GET YOUR FACE IN FRONT OF THE FLYING WATER! 563 00:33:26,613 --> 00:33:28,223 - Sasha: HELP ME! - SASHA. 564 00:33:28,267 --> 00:33:29,747 - MICHELLE? - SASHA! 565 00:33:29,790 --> 00:33:30,750 - MARCO? - POLO! 566 00:33:30,791 --> 00:33:32,621 - MARCO? - POLO! 567 00:33:35,100 --> 00:33:37,150 OHHH, CRAP. OKAY, LEMME TRY AND FIND-- 568 00:33:37,189 --> 00:33:39,409 SOMETHING. 569 00:33:43,108 --> 00:33:45,458 I TOLD YOU I'D BE CLARA. 570 00:33:48,809 --> 00:33:51,289 [ dancers clamoring ] 571 00:33:59,298 --> 00:34:01,558 [ audience clamoring ] 572 00:34:01,604 --> 00:34:04,304 [ sirens approaching ] 573 00:34:20,188 --> 00:34:22,188 [ chattering ] 574 00:34:23,496 --> 00:34:26,106 - HOW ARE YOUR EYES? - THE LEFT ONE'S BACK. 575 00:34:26,151 --> 00:34:28,501 - Michelle: RAY RAY, STEPHANIE. - THAT'S GOOD. 576 00:34:28,544 --> 00:34:30,764 - Girl: OVER HERE. - MATISSE? 577 00:34:30,807 --> 00:34:33,417 - I HATE CHARLIE. - RIGHT HERE. 578 00:34:33,462 --> 00:34:36,772 - Michelle: KATRINA? KATRINA? - ME TOO. 579 00:34:36,813 --> 00:34:38,773 - I'M HERE. - STEPHANIE, STEPHANIE? 580 00:34:38,815 --> 00:34:41,505 - YEAH? - ANNA MARIA, ANNA MARIA, ANNA MARIA? 581 00:34:41,557 --> 00:34:43,687 - WE DON'T HAVE AN ANNA MARIA. - WE DON'T? 582 00:34:43,733 --> 00:34:46,133 - NO. - WHO'S THE GIRL I CALL ANNA MARIA? 583 00:34:46,171 --> 00:34:48,481 - CASEY. - OH. CASEY! 584 00:34:48,521 --> 00:34:51,131 - HERE. - HEY, KID, YOU CAN'T GO FOUR MONTHS 585 00:34:51,176 --> 00:34:53,656 LETTING SOMEONE CALL YOU ANNA MARIA. A LITTLE LIFE TIP FOR YOU. 586 00:34:53,700 --> 00:34:55,350 - YOU'RE MICHELLE? - YES, HOW ARE THE KIDS? 587 00:34:55,397 --> 00:34:57,527 WE FLUSHED THEIR EYES, GAVE THEM ICE, EVERYONE WILL BE FINE. 588 00:34:57,573 --> 00:34:59,493 - I JUST NEED TO CHECK YOU OUT. - NOT NOW, I'M BUSY. 589 00:34:59,532 --> 00:35:01,102 - ANGEL! - YEAH? 590 00:35:01,142 --> 00:35:03,062 - I NEED TO CHECK YOU OUT NOW, PLEASE. - LOOK, LADY, 591 00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:05,491 I'M NOT GONNA LEAVE THIS HALLWAY, OKAY? I'M THE ONE WHO MACED THESE KIDS 592 00:35:05,538 --> 00:35:07,838 AND I AM GOING TO BE HERE UNTIL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM IS-- 593 00:35:07,888 --> 00:35:09,848 I'M TALKING TO A PIECE OF CARDBOARD, RIGHT? 594 00:35:09,890 --> 00:35:12,200 - YEP. - AFTER YOU. 595 00:35:17,550 --> 00:35:20,600 HEY. I KNOW YOU. 596 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:22,820 - YEAH? - YOU'RE ON THE BASKETBALL TEAM. 597 00:35:22,859 --> 00:35:25,509 WAS ON THE BASKETBALL TEAM. 598 00:35:25,558 --> 00:35:26,988 WHAT HAPPENED? 599 00:35:27,037 --> 00:35:29,607 YOU DRIBBLE RIGHT, YOU DRIBBLE LEFT, YOU DRIBBLE RIGHT, 600 00:35:29,649 --> 00:35:33,219 YOU DRIBBLE LEFT-- THAT'S A LOT OF DRIBBLING WITHOUT HAVING SOME SORT OF STROKE. 601 00:35:33,261 --> 00:35:35,871 - I HEAR YOU. - I'M ROMAN. 602 00:35:35,916 --> 00:35:38,696 - I THOUGHT YOUR NAME WAS TYLER. - ROMAN'S MY MIDDLE NAME. 603 00:35:38,745 --> 00:35:42,435 - IT WORKS BETTER WITH THE HAIR. - THAT'S THE THOUGHT PROCESS. 604 00:35:42,488 --> 00:35:46,708 - SO WHAT ARE YOU IN FOR? - MOSH PIT GOT A LITTLE TOO INTENSE. 605 00:35:46,753 --> 00:35:49,843 - WHAT ABOUT YOU? - MY BALLET TEACHER MACED US 606 00:35:49,886 --> 00:35:52,716 - DURING A PRODUCTION OF "THE NUTCRACKER." - WOW! 607 00:35:52,759 --> 00:35:56,369 - MAYBE I SHOULD BE TAKING BALLET. - IT'S ROUGHER THAN YOU THINK. 608 00:35:56,415 --> 00:36:00,285 - APPARENTLY. - SO THIS LOOK-- NEW? 609 00:36:00,332 --> 00:36:02,552 - FAIRLY RECENT. - NO MORE VARSITY JOE? 610 00:36:02,595 --> 00:36:05,545 I THINK WE HAVE OFFICIALLY PARTED WAYS. 611 00:36:05,598 --> 00:36:08,558 - YOU'RE SASHA, RIGHT? - YEAH. 612 00:36:08,601 --> 00:36:10,781 MY MIDDLE NAME'S HENRIETTA, SO... 613 00:36:10,820 --> 00:36:12,870 SASHA IT IS. 614 00:36:15,825 --> 00:36:17,605 - THERE YOU ARE. - FAMILY? 615 00:36:17,653 --> 00:36:19,393 - SORT OF. - I GUESS. 616 00:36:19,438 --> 00:36:21,658 - DAUGHTER-IN-LAW FOR A MINUTE OR SO. - MOTHER-IN-LAW FOR A MINUTE. 617 00:36:21,701 --> 00:36:23,271 - LANDLORD NOW. - DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MAKES ME NOW. 618 00:36:23,311 --> 00:36:25,491 WHATEVER. COME ON IN. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. YOU'LL BE OKAY? 619 00:36:25,531 --> 00:36:27,401 - NO. - ATTAGIRL! 620 00:36:33,452 --> 00:36:36,192 - SO HOW ARE YOU? - FACE HURTS. 621 00:36:36,237 --> 00:36:37,667 YES. LARGE DOSES 622 00:36:37,717 --> 00:36:40,587 OF SELF-INFLICTED PEPPER SPRAY WILL DO THAT TO A PERSON. 623 00:36:40,633 --> 00:36:42,553 YEAH. I'M SO SORRY. 624 00:36:42,591 --> 00:36:45,731 YOU MACED MY ENTIRE PRODUCTION OF "THE NUTCRACKER." 625 00:36:45,768 --> 00:36:47,508 I DON'T THINK I GOT EVERYONE. 626 00:36:47,553 --> 00:36:50,513 NO, YOU DID. IT WAS A CLEAN SWEEP. NAILED EVERY LAST DEWDROP. 627 00:36:50,556 --> 00:36:53,556 - I'M REALLY SORRY. - YOU KNOW I HAD TO CANCEL THE SHOWS. 628 00:36:53,602 --> 00:36:55,692 TWO WHOLE WEEKS, CANCELED. 629 00:36:55,735 --> 00:36:57,685 - I'M-- - YOU'RE SORRY? YES, I HEARD. 630 00:36:57,737 --> 00:37:01,387 DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD THIS IS? I WILL BE LUCKY IF THESE PARENTS 631 00:37:01,436 --> 00:37:03,656 DON'T DRAG ME INTO COURT AND HAVE ME FLOGGED. 632 00:37:03,699 --> 00:37:05,879 THEY DON'T FLOG PEOPLE IN CALIFORNIA. 633 00:37:05,919 --> 00:37:08,789 - YOU'RE A LAWYER? YOU KNOW THE LAW? - I KNOW THEY DON'T FLOG. 634 00:37:08,835 --> 00:37:11,925 WELL, I DON'T KNOW THAT. I'M NOT AS WISE AND WORLDLY AS YOU ARE. 635 00:37:11,968 --> 00:37:15,228 I DIDN'T LIVE IN VEGAS AND DATE GANGSTERS. I JUST TRIED TO TEACH BALLET 636 00:37:15,276 --> 00:37:18,926 TO A BUNCH OF KIDS-- THE SAME KIDS WHO ARE SITTING OUT IN THE HALLWAY OF THIS HOSPITAL. 637 00:37:24,633 --> 00:37:27,333 I SHOULD'VE KNOWN SOMETHING LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN. 638 00:37:27,375 --> 00:37:30,335 - WHY? 'CAUSE I WAS INVOLVED? - BAD LUCK WAS IN THE AIR. 639 00:37:30,378 --> 00:37:33,428 WHEN I GOT UP THIS MORNING AND MICHAEL WAS GONE JUST LIKE THAT, 640 00:37:33,468 --> 00:37:35,468 - IT WAS A SIGN. - MICHAEL'S GONE? 641 00:37:35,514 --> 00:37:37,344 - YES. - WHY WOULD HE GO? 642 00:37:37,385 --> 00:37:39,945 I EXPLAINED EVERYTHING TO HIM. 643 00:37:39,996 --> 00:37:42,606 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 644 00:37:42,651 --> 00:37:44,481 I TOLD HIM ABOUT THE CABIN, 645 00:37:44,523 --> 00:37:46,743 ABOUT WHAT YOU THOUGHT MONTANA WAS GOING TO BE-- 646 00:37:46,786 --> 00:37:49,006 YOU AND HIM BEING TOGETHER FINALLY. 647 00:37:49,049 --> 00:37:51,829 - WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? - I WAS TRYING TO HELP. 648 00:37:51,878 --> 00:37:54,918 - HELP WHO, ME? - FANNY, YOU DON'T EXPLAIN TO A MAN 649 00:37:54,968 --> 00:37:59,318 YOU WANT TO BE WITH HIM PERMANENTLY, OF COURSE HE GOES AND BUYS A PLACE FOR HIMSELF. 650 00:37:59,364 --> 00:38:02,854 AND YOU KNOW ALL THIS BASED ON WHAT? YOUR PERFECT RELATIONSHIP RECORD? 651 00:38:02,889 --> 00:38:05,459 - I-- - 30 YEARS I'VE BEEN WITH THIS MAN. 652 00:38:05,500 --> 00:38:08,680 FOR 30 YEARS HE'S FELT FREE, UNENCUMBERED. 653 00:38:08,721 --> 00:38:12,031 HE'S BEEN ABLE TO LIVE THE EXACT LIFE HE WANTED AND WE WERE HAPPY. 654 00:38:12,072 --> 00:38:15,602 - YOU NEVER SAW EACH OTHER. - EVEN WHEN I ASKED HIM TO HANG AROUND A LITTLE LONGER 655 00:38:15,641 --> 00:38:18,601 HE KNEW I WASN'T TRYING TO CHANGE HIM OR TIE HIM DOWN. 656 00:38:18,644 --> 00:38:21,604 AND THEN YOU, WITH YOUR EXTRAORDINARILY BIG MOUTH, 657 00:38:21,647 --> 00:38:24,687 YOU DRIVE HIM AWAY IN ONE DAY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 658 00:38:24,737 --> 00:38:27,037 YOU DON'T KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH BY NOW 659 00:38:27,087 --> 00:38:29,697 TO KNOW THAT IF I WANTED HIM TO KNOW ABOUT THE CABIN 660 00:38:29,742 --> 00:38:33,532 AND MY PLANS AND WHAT I EXPECTED TO HAPPEN, I WOULD'VE TOLD HIM MYSELF? 661 00:38:33,572 --> 00:38:36,662 YOU ARE THE BAD LUCK! EVER SINCE YOU GOT HERE, 662 00:38:36,705 --> 00:38:38,835 EVER SINCE HUBBELL-- 663 00:38:45,888 --> 00:38:48,058 I HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE AND DEAL WITH THE PARENTS. 664 00:38:48,108 --> 00:38:51,548 YOU SHOULD PROBABLY STAY IN HERE A LITTLE WHILE LONGER. 665 00:38:58,553 --> 00:39:00,563 [ street noise, door closes ] 666 00:39:07,127 --> 00:39:08,687 HI, I'M MICHELLE SIMMS. 667 00:39:16,441 --> 00:39:17,491 [ music playing ] 668 00:39:17,529 --> 00:39:19,529 ♪ MAYBE THIS TIME 669 00:39:19,574 --> 00:39:22,454 ♪ I'LL BE LUCKY 670 00:39:22,490 --> 00:39:27,670 ♪ MAYBE THIS TIME HE'LL STAY ♪ 671 00:39:29,454 --> 00:39:31,594 ♪ MAYBE THIS TIME 672 00:39:31,630 --> 00:39:34,680 ♪ FOR THE FIRST TIME 673 00:39:34,720 --> 00:39:40,600 ♪ LOVE WON'T HURRY AWAY 674 00:39:40,639 --> 00:39:45,379 ♪ HE WILL HOLD ME FAST 675 00:39:46,732 --> 00:39:50,692 ♪ I'LL BE HOME AT LAST 676 00:39:52,912 --> 00:39:57,442 ♪ NOT A LOSER ANYMORE 677 00:39:57,482 --> 00:40:00,702 ♪ LIKE THE LAST TIME AND 678 00:40:00,746 --> 00:40:03,836 ♪ THE TIME BEFORE 679 00:40:05,054 --> 00:40:07,584 ♪ EVERYBODY 680 00:40:07,622 --> 00:40:10,672 ♪ LOVES A WINNER 681 00:40:10,712 --> 00:40:15,592 ♪ SO NOBODY LOVES ME 682 00:40:16,588 --> 00:40:19,458 ♪ LADY PEACEFUL 683 00:40:19,504 --> 00:40:22,644 ♪ LADY HAPPY 684 00:40:22,681 --> 00:40:26,861 ♪ THAT'S WHAT I LONG TO BE ♪ 685 00:40:28,687 --> 00:40:34,167 ♪ ALL THE ODDS ARE IN MY FAVOR ♪ 686 00:40:34,214 --> 00:40:39,054 ♪ SOMETHING'S BOUND TO BEGIN ♪ 687 00:40:40,525 --> 00:40:43,475 ♪ IT'S GOTTA HAPPEN 688 00:40:43,528 --> 00:40:46,568 ♪ HAPPEN SOMETIME 689 00:40:46,618 --> 00:40:51,618 ♪ MAYBE THIS TIME I'LL WIN... ♪ 690 00:41:01,502 --> 00:41:03,592 HELLO? 691 00:41:03,635 --> 00:41:05,245 WHAT DID YOU THINK? 692 00:41:07,247 --> 00:41:09,727 WOW. 693 00:41:09,771 --> 00:41:11,861 HEY. 694 00:41:11,904 --> 00:41:13,734 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 695 00:41:13,775 --> 00:41:15,645 OH, I'VE BEEN AROUND. 696 00:41:15,690 --> 00:41:18,690 - [ traffic noise stops ] - EVERYTHING LOOKS SO DIFFERENT NOW. 697 00:41:18,737 --> 00:41:22,917 NO, NOTHING'S DIFFERENT. EVERYTHING'S EXACTLY WHERE IT WAS WHEN YOU LEFT. 698 00:41:22,958 --> 00:41:26,178 I'VE TRIED REALLY HARD NOT TO ROCK THE BOAT. 699 00:41:26,222 --> 00:41:29,102 YOU'RE HERE TO ROCK THE BOAT. 700 00:41:30,226 --> 00:41:32,746 YOU KNOW, SHE ALWAYS WANTED ME TO DANCE. 701 00:41:32,794 --> 00:41:35,884 [ laughs ] OH, WHAT I WOULD'VE GIVEN FOR A PICTURE OF THAT. 702 00:41:35,928 --> 00:41:38,498 YEAH. SHE WOULD'VE LIKED A GIRL. 703 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:43,760 HUBBELL? 704 00:41:45,067 --> 00:41:48,767 - THEY'RE BROKEN. - I JUST WANTED TO SEE THE FROGS. 705 00:41:48,810 --> 00:41:51,070 I'M DOING IT AGAIN. I'M RUINING EVERYTHING. 706 00:41:51,117 --> 00:41:54,077 - YOU CAN FIX IT. - I DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT I'M DOING IT. 707 00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:57,250 I NEED GLUE. YOU'RE MY GLUE. 708 00:41:57,297 --> 00:42:00,557 - THESE FOUR ARE FINE. - I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF THEM. 709 00:42:00,605 --> 00:42:02,685 I WAS SUPPOSED TO HELP THEM. 710 00:42:02,737 --> 00:42:04,737 I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER FOR THEM. 711 00:42:04,783 --> 00:42:08,003 I DON'T WANT THEM TO BE LIKE ME. 712 00:42:08,047 --> 00:42:10,267 YOU SHOULD LOOK AROUND. 713 00:42:10,310 --> 00:42:12,530 EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT. 714 00:42:13,966 --> 00:42:17,136 - I MISS YOU. - IT'S FUNNY WHEN THINGS HAPPEN. 715 00:42:17,186 --> 00:42:19,796 HUBBELL, TELL ME SOMETHING. 716 00:42:19,841 --> 00:42:21,061 WHAT? 717 00:42:21,103 --> 00:42:22,933 WOULD IT HAVE WORKED? 718 00:42:22,975 --> 00:42:25,665 WOULD I HAVE STAYED? 719 00:42:25,717 --> 00:42:28,587 P.A.: Dr. Freedman, dial 3996. 720 00:42:28,633 --> 00:42:31,683 Social services, call the fourth floor nurses' station. 721 00:42:33,812 --> 00:42:36,292 - Man: GONE, FANNY, SHE'S GONE! - Fanny: I KNOW YOU'RE ALL UPSET. 722 00:42:36,336 --> 00:42:39,166 Man: I'M NOT UPSET. I LOVE PICKING MY KID UP FROM THE EMERGENCY ROOM. 723 00:42:39,208 --> 00:42:41,858 Woman: THAT WOMAN IS NEVER AROUND OUR CHILDREN EVER AGAIN. 724 00:42:41,907 --> 00:42:43,997 Man: SHE'S UNSTABLE. THE OTHER NIGHT IN THE OYSTER BAR, 725 00:42:44,039 --> 00:42:45,949 SHE HAD SEX WITH THAT BARTENDER AT THE PARTY. 726 00:42:45,998 --> 00:42:47,608 Man #2: WHO CARES WHAT SHE DID AT THE BAR? 727 00:42:47,652 --> 00:42:48,782 Man: I CARE WHAT SHE DID AT THE BAR. 728 00:42:48,827 --> 00:42:50,657 I EAT BRUNCH THERE ON SUNDAYS. 729 00:42:50,698 --> 00:42:53,658 - Fanny: EVERYONE NEEDS TO CALM DOWN. - Woman: SHE MACED OUR KIDS! 730 00:42:53,701 --> 00:42:56,231 - SPRAYED PEPPER SPRAY IN THEIR FACES. - Doctor: HEY, YOU NEED TO MOVE. 731 00:42:56,269 --> 00:42:58,839 - WE HAVE TO WORK HERE. - Fanny: PLEASE, LET'S JUST TALK OUTSIDE. 732 00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:00,800 - Man: SHE'S GONE, FANNY! - Woman: EXACTLY. 733 00:43:03,015 --> 00:43:04,835 "O CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN!" 734 00:43:09,021 --> 00:43:11,071 "O CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN!" 735 00:43:13,982 --> 00:43:15,682 Both: "O CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN!" 736 00:43:17,986 --> 00:43:19,636 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 737 00:43:19,684 --> 00:43:21,864 - JUST GET UP. - I DON'T WATCH CABLE. 738 00:43:23,035 --> 00:43:25,035 YOU KNOW THAT AT THE END OF THE MOVIE 739 00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:26,820 THE GUY HAD TO LEAVE ANYHOW, RIGHT? 740 00:43:30,042 --> 00:43:31,912 THANK YOU, BOYS. 741 00:43:33,741 --> 00:43:35,831 THANK YOU, GIRLS. 742 00:43:35,874 --> 00:43:36,884 THANK YOU. 60844

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