All language subtitles for Bunheads.S01E07_English

- PREVIOUSLY ON "BUNHEADS"...
- DO YOUR PARENTS KNOW
WHERE YOU ARE?

- NOPE.
- I STAYED OUT ALL NIGHT
AND WRECKED MOM'S CAR.

- [ rips ]
- [ gasps ]

I GOT MY LETTER TODAY
FROM THE JOFFREY.

- WHAT DID YOUR PARENTS SAY?
- I'LL TELL THEM WHEN
I GET BACK.

- YOU CAN'T JUST UP AND LEAVE.
- LOOK, THEY WON'T EVEN
NOTICE I'M GONE.

- YOU LIKE JOSH.
- YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN TOGETHER
SINCE, WHAT? THIRD GRADE?

- SECOND. MISS MARSH'S CLASS.
- WHAT'S THE POINT, MICHELLE?

- THE POINT IS YOU HAVE CLASSES.
- I KNOW. AND HOW WONDERFUL
THAT YOU'RE THERE

SO I CAN GET AWAY FOR A WEEK
AND THEN YOU CAN TEACH THEM.

- [ piano playing ]
- LEAN FORWARD.

THAT'S IT.
STRAIGHT KNEES.

EXTEND DOWN, CHIN UP.

EHH.

GRACEFULLY, GRACEFULLY,

GRACEFULLY. YES.

- I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.
- AGAIN? UHH.

- OKAY, LADIES.
- [ piano stops ]

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT
THE COLD HARD REALITY

OF LIFE AS A DANCER.
WHEN YOU'RE ON BROADWAY

THE SHOW DOESN'T STOP
SO YOU CAN GO POTTY.

"LES MIS" IS
THREE HOURS LONG,

AND SURE THERE'S
AN INTERMISSION,

BUT BETWEEN CHANGING COSTUMES
AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
IF MARIUS IS STRAIGHT,

YOU'RE NOT GONNA
HAVE TIME TO PEE.
YOU'VE GOT TO HOLD IT.

SO FROM NOW ON
WE ARE ALL GOING
TO TRY VERY HARD TO--

[ whimpering ]

OKAY.
NOTE TO SELF:

POTTY BREAK FIRST,
"LES MIS" LECTURE LATER.

WHOEVER ELSE NEEDS TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM, GO AHEAD.
GO NOW.

WOW, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

IN MY DAY
WE ALL HAD BLADDERS.
[ sighs ]

PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS
MY LAST CLASS OF THE DAY.

- NOPE, YOU STILL HAVE--
- ROOMBA! I JUST REMEMBERED.

IT'S "ZUMBA."
TOMORROW'S A BIG DAY TOO.

- YOU HAVE JAZZERCISE AT 9:00--
- UGH, SKINNY PEOPLE.

YOU TEACH
THE WEITZMAN COUPLE THEIR
WEDDING DANCE AT 10:00--

- UGH, HAPPY PEOPLE.
- THEN IT'S A SOLD-OUT
SWING CLASS.

- UGH, PEOPLE.
- THEN JAZZ AT 3:00,
PAS DE DEUX AT 4:15,

- AND HIP-HOP
LINE DANCING AT 5:30.
- WHAT'S HIP-HOP LINE DANCING?

TWO CLASSES
WERE UNDERBOOKED,
SO I COMBINED THEM.

THIS IS NOT WORKING!
I CAN'T TEACH MY CLASSES

AND FANNY'S CLASSES
AND MAINTAIN MY SEXY.

- THANK GOD SHE'S BACK TOMORROW!
- OH...

- "OH"? WHAT "OH"?
- FANNY EXTENDED HER TRIP.

- SHE'S NOT
COMING BACK UNTIL NEXT WEEK.
- WHAT? WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME?

- SHE POSTED IT ON FACEBOOK.
- THAT DOESN'T COUNT
AS TELLING ME.

WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THEY CAN
JUST SHARE NEWS ON FACEBOOK

AND AUTOMATICALLY
EVERYONE WILL KNOW?

BECAUSE EVERYONE'S
ON FACEBOOK.

I'M HERE. I MADE IT.
I'M NOT LATE!

- I THOUGHT IT WAS WEDNESDAY.
- YOU ARE LATE AND IT IS
WEDNESDAY.

RATS.
RIGHT. SORRY, BOO.

BUT TO MAKE IT UP:
AIR FRIES.

WHAT ARE AIR FRIES?
BY THE WAY, I'M MICHELLE.

NANETTE.
NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU.

- AIR FRIES ARE
FRIES COOKED IN AIR.
- THEY'RE NOT ON MY DIET.

- BUT THEY DON'T TASTE GOOD,
THAT MEANS THEY'RE HEALTHY.
- THEY'RE STILL POTATOES.

I LIKE POTATOES.
I LIKE AIR.

ARE YOU TEACHING
MY DAUGHTER TO STRIP?

NO JUDGMENT.
I ALWAYS TELL HER SHE SHOULD
HAVE SOMETHING TO FALL BACK ON.

I FIGURED TYPING,
BUT THIS COULD BE GOOD TOO.

WE'RE ADDING SOME NEW CLASSES.
CARDIO-STRIPTEASE WILL NOW BE
OFFERED FRIDAYS AT 10:00,

RIGHT BETWEEN
"I WISH I WAS STILL IN BED"
AND "WHERE DID I GO WRONG?"

- [ laughs, gasps ]
RUBY'S MARKET!
- WHAT ABOUT RUBY'S MARKET?

I LEFT YOUR BROTHER
AT THE PRODUCE SECTION
AT RUBY'S MARKET!

- AGAIN?
- GET YOUR STUFF, WE GOTTA GO.

- WOW, THESE ARE GROSS.
- [ girl screaming ]

I SHOULD PROBABLY
LOOK INTO THAT.

[ theme music playing ]

- SO NO SASHA TODAY.
- I KNOW, MISSING CLASS--
SCANDAL.

- YOU HEAR FROM HER?
- NOT SINCE THE MOVIE-TRUCK
NIGHT.

- I TEXTED HER TWICE.
NO RESPONSE.
- SO WEIRD.

HEY, BOO?
ANY WORD FROM SASHA?

I LEFT MESSAGES.
MAYBE SHE FINALLY
GOT IN TROUBLE.

- SASHA NEVER GETS IN TROUBLE.
- SHE DID STAY OUT ALL NIGHT
AND WRECK HER MOM'S CAR.

- AND HER MOM LOVES THAT CAR.
- THE CAR WAS IN THE CHRISTMAS-
CARD PICTURE.

- THE FATHER WAS NOT.
- EVERY PARENT HAS
THEIR LIMIT, I GUESS.

MAYBE SHE'S TOTALLY
GROUNDED FOR LIKE MONTHS.

WHAT IF THEY SENT HER AWAY?
WHAT IF SHE'S IN MILITARY
SCHOOL?

I DON'T THINK SHE'S
IN MILITARY SCHOOL.

I'D LIKE TO GO
TO MILITARY SCHOOL.

- NO, YOU DON'T.
- I DO. I THINK
IT WOULD BE REALLY--

OH WAIT. I'M THINKING
OF CAMP, SORRY.

I HAVE TO GO. TEXT ME
IF YOU HEAR ANYTHING.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?
- JOSH AND I HAVE
OUR ANNIVERSARY.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
EIGHT YEARS-- INSANE.

I KNOW. JOSH IS
COMING OVER AND I HAVE
THIS GREAT NIGHT PLANNED.

- IT'S NOT THAT MURDER-MYSTERY
DINNER THING, IS IT?
- NO.

BECAUSE FRANKLY, I WOULD'VE
DUMPED YOUR ASS
OVER THAT ONE.

THERE'S A FOOD-TRUCK FAIR
GOING ON IN GOLETA AND THERE'S
A STAGE AND BANDS ARE PLAYING.

- WOW, THAT ACTUALLY
SOUNDS FUN.
- I KNOW.

- I MEAN, IT'S SO NOT
THE TWO OF YOU--
- STOP.

SERIOUSLY, WHAT DID YOU DO
FOR YOUR FIFTH ANNIVERSARY?

- WE SAW "HOTEL FOR DOGS."
- YEAH, I WOULD'VE DUMPED
YOUR ASS FOR THAT ONE TOO.

WELL, THIS IS GOING
TO BE REALLY GREAT.
I'M EXCITED.

- [ phone ringing ]
- SASHA?

MAYBE.

- HEY THERE, OLD MAN.
- THAT NICKNAME'S BEGGING
FOR AN ASSDUMPING TOO, F.Y.I.

YEAH, I'M JUST GETTING READY
TO LEAVE NOW.

I'LL RUSH HOME, SHOWER
AND SHOULD BE READY TO GO--

OH, BUT COULDN'T IT--
WELL, I KIND OF HAD THINGS ALL--

NO. THAT'S NICE TOO.

I KNOW. OKAY.

SEE YOU THEN.

OOPS. WHAT?

HE'S AT MY HOUSE PUTTING
TOGETHER AN ENTERTAINMENT
CABINET THAT MY MOM JUST BOUGHT.

AND IT'S REALLY COMPLICATED
AND SHE REALLY WANTS IT
READY BY TOMORROW,

BECAUSE SHE'S HOSTING
THIS BROKERS' LUNCHEON

AND SHE WANTS THE LIVING ROOM
TO LOOK COMPLETE,
WHICH IT HASN'T

SINCE MY DAD LEFT AND TOOK
THE OLD CABINET WITH HIM.

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO
WITH YOUR ANNIVERSARY?

- HE WON'T BE DONE IN TIME
TO DRIVE TO GOLETA.
- YOU'RE KIDDING.

SO MY MOM SAID SHE'LL TAKE US
OUT FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY
TONIGHT INSTEAD.

SHE MADE RESERVATIONS
AT THAT NEW SUSHI PLACE.

- OH. WELL, YOU LIKE SUSHI.
- UH-HUH, EXCEPT FOR THE FISH.

- RIGHT.
- BUT THE CUCUMBER ROLLS--
AWESOME.

SO AWESOME.
MAYBE YOU GUYS CAN
FOOD TRUCK IT NEXT WEEKEND?

- DOESN'T MATTER. IT'S FINE.
- AND BRIGHT SIDE:

NOW YOU HAVE
SOME EXTRA MONEY, RIGHT?
FOR BOOZE AND BROADS?

ABSOLUTELY.
GOTTA GO.

HEY, EIGHT YEARS,
RIGHT ON!

[ music playing,
taps clicking ]

I REMEMBER THIS SONG
BEING MUCH SHORTER.

SERIOUSLY, DID IT
LOOP BACK AROUND?

THAT'S WHY I WANTED TO DANCE
TO "MOVES LIKE JAGGER."

- THAT SONG REALLY
GETS TO THE POINT!
- NEXT TIME, SAM.

I DON'T THINK THERE'S GONNA
BE A NEXT TIME FOR YOU.

IS THAT IT?
IS CLASS OVER?

- [ music stops ]
- ALL RIGHT, I GOT A PULSE.

- THAT'S A WRAP, EVERYONE.
- IS IT OVER?

- OH, IT'S OVER.
- DID I WIN?

- SURE, SWEETIE.
- NICE CLASS, EVERYBODY.
COME BACK NEXT WEEK

WHEN THE PART OF ME
WILL BE PLAYED
BY ANNA FARIS.

- YOU DON'T LOOK
SO GOOD, MICHELLE.
- I'M SO SORRY, SAM,

DID YOU SAY
"TAP-A-TAP-A-TAP-A"?

- I THINK YOU NEED SOME SLEEP.
- AND SOME SLEEP.

- I JUST SAID THAT.
- HAS TAP DANCING ALWAYS
BEEN SO LOUD?

UNLESS A COWBOY IS SHOOTING
BULLETS AT YOUR FEET,

IT'S THE LOUDEST DANCE
THERE IS.

- I'LL SEE YA LATER.
- SEE YA.

[ water dripping ]

UGH.

[ faintly ]
OH MY GOD.

- [ water trickling ]
- OH NO.

NO NO NO!

NO NO NO NO NO NO!

OH GOD.
OH MY GOD.

OH MY--

M-MY GOD.

OKAY, HELLO, UM...

UH UH UH...

[ stammering ]

OH MY GOD.

PICK UP,
STOP!

PICK UP. STOP!
PICK UP!

Hi, you've reached
Fanny Flowers.
Leave a message.

FANNY, IT'S MICHELLE.
IT'S COMING FROM THE CEILING.

THERE'S WATER COMING
FROM THE CEILING AND IT'S
FLOODING THE DRESSING ROOM

AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP IT
OR HOW LONG IT'S BEEN GOING ON.

OH GOD, I WISH YOU WERE THERE
TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

UH, LET'S SEE, IF YOU
WERE THERE, YOU'D PROBABLY
SAY SOMETHING LIKE,

"WELL, MICHELLE, MAYBE IF
YOU DIDN'T SLEEP UNTIL 11:00

AND STUMBLE INTO CLASS
LIKE A HOBO, YOU COULD'VE

CHECKED ON THE DRESSING ROOM
BEFORE IT FLOATED AWAY."

AND I'D SAY "IT'S NOT
DRIFTING OFF TO SEA, FANNY.
IT'S JUST VERY VERY WET."

"THAT'S FINE.
WE'LL JUST RENAME THE STUDIO

THE ATLANTIS DANCE ACADEMY.
I'LL ORDER A SIGN."

THAT'S VERY FUNNY, FANNY.
WHY DON'T YOU POST THAT
ON FACEBOOK?

"MICHELLE, ISN'T THE WATER
RISING AS YOU PLAY OUT
THIS LITTLE BIT?"

YES, IT IS, FANNY.
I SHOULD PROBABLY GO.

"THEN GO!"
I WILL!

OH MY GOD.

- [ beeps ]
- OKAY.

- Truly: Sparkles.
- THERE'S A FLOOD!

A PIPE MUST HAVE BURST
OR WE HIT AN ICEBERG.

THE CARPET IS SQUISHY
AND NOTHING I'M DOING
IS HELPING.

Paper towels are useless!
Useless!

[ confused ]
THIS IS SPARKLES.
WE DO DRESSES.

Truly, it's me, Michelle.

I'M AT THE DANCE STUDIO
AND IT'S LITERALLY

RAINING IN THE GIRLS'
DRESSING ROOM. HELP ME!

WELL, I KNOW THERE'S NO WAY
YOU CAN REACH FANNY RIGHT NOW.

- How do you know this?
- HER TWITTER FEED

SAYS SHE'S UNAVAILABLE
THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON.

- SINCE WHEN IS
FANNY ON TWITTER?
- SINCE @OJAIFLOYD805

CONVINCED HER TO JOIN.
YOU REMEMBER, HE DID
YOUR FLOORS?

- SO YOU'RE ON TWITTER NOW TOO?
- YEAH, I FOLLOW FANNY
AND FLOYD.

- HAVE YOU CALLED
A PLUMBER?
- NO.

- THEN CALL A PLUMBER.
- RIGHT! YES! A PLUMBER!

- I'LL CALL A PLUMBER!
- LET ME KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.

I'M PART OF THIS NOW.

[ cackles ]

- WHAT--
- THIS IS FUN.

FUN?
[ stammers ]

YOU KNOW YOU'RE PUTTING HOLES
IN THE WALL, RIGHT?

- OH YEAH.
YOU WANNA POKE ONE?
- TEMPTING, THANK YOU,

BUT DON'T WE NEED THESE WALLS?
I MEAN, WALLS ARE IMPORTANT.
BUILDINGS ARE MADE OUT OF THEM.

YOU ALREADY PUNCHED
THAT ONE HOLE.

- THAT WAS LIKE THAT
WHEN I GOT HERE.
- SO WHAT'S A FEW MORE?

'CAUSE I'M JUST TRYING
TO FIGURE OUT WHERE
YOUR PLUMBING IS.

AND THAT TAKES HOLES.

AH!
I THINK I GOT
THE LAY OF THE LAND HERE.

I GOTTA GET SOMETHING
OUT OF MY TRUCK.

HEY LOOK.
I GOT A PLUMBER.

HE'S THE ONE WHO
PUNCHED ALL THESE HOLES.
EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM.

- DAVIS.
- TRULY.

- HIM?
- WHO?

- THE ONE-EYED PLUMBER?
THAT'S WHO YOU HIRE?
- HE'S GOT ONE EYE?

- HE'S WEARING AN EYE PATCH.
- I THOUGHT THAT WAS
FOR FASHION.

- OH GOD.
- HIS CARD WAS
IN FANNY'S FILE.

IT DIDN'T LIST
HOW MANY EYES HE HAD.

- THAT MAN CANNOT
BE AROUND TOOLS.
- HE WAS SO NICE ON THE PHONE

- AND HE QUOTED ME A LOW PRICE.
- THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE ONLY
PAYING FOR ONE EYE!

- TRULY--
- NO ONE IN TOWN HIRES
DAVIS FOR PLUMBING.

THEY HIRE HIM
TO PICK UP PEOPLE'S MAIL
WHEN THEY'RE OUT OF TOWN

AND TO KEEP AN EYE
ON THINGS.

THAT'S OUR LITTLE JOKE
BECAUSE HE ONLY HAS ONE EYE
TO LOOK AT OUR THINGS WITH.

- WHOA.
- FLOOD CITY.

- LIKE FROM THE BIBLE.
- Melanie: WHAT HAPPENED?

IT'S UNDER CONTROL, GIRLS.
THERE'S BEEN A LEAK,
I'VE HIRED A PLUMBER.

- HALF A PLUMBER.
- YOU HIRED DAVIS?

- NO ONE HIRES DAVIS.
- NOT FOR PLUMBING ANYWAY.

WE USE HIM TO KEEP
AN EYE ON THINGS.

LOOK, I'M GONNA NEED
YOU GUYS TO CHANGE

- IN THE BOYS' ROOM
FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE.
- EW.

- NO WAY.
- HAVE YOU EVER BEEN
IN THE BOYS' DRESSING ROOM?

YOU CAN
LITERALLY SEE THE AIR.
AND THE TOILETS?

THEY HIT THEIR MARKS
ON THE DANCE FLOOR,
BUT THAT'S WHERE IT ENDS.

FINE.
CHANGE AT MY PLACE.

- MY HOUSE IS YOUR HOUSE.
- COOL.

BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW
THAT RIGHT NOW YOUR HOUSE
IS PRETTY DIRTY.

DON'T JUDGE YOURSELF THOUGH.
YOU'VE BEEN VERY BUSY

TEACHING FANNY'S CLASSES
ALL WEEK AND STUFF PILES UP.

- IT'S GOT TO BE BETTER THAN
THE BOYS' DRESSING ROOM.
- ANYTHING IS.

LOOK, IT'LL BE FINE.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF DAVIS.

- HE JUST NEEDS
A LOT OF SUPERVISION.
- OKAY. THANKS.

I'VE GOT TO GET DOWNSTAIRS.
I'VE GOT MY POP-LOCKING

STREET-VOGUING
HIPPETY-HOPPITY MACARENA
JUMP CLASS IN FIVE MINUTES.

- ARE WE GOING IN?
- I FEEL WEIRD.

- SHE TOLD US TO, BOO.
- OKAY.

BUT WE NEED TO BE
RESPECTFUL OF THIS PLACE.
AFTER ALL-- HEY!

THIS IS IT?
36 YEARS OLD AND THIS IS ALL
SHE HAS TO SHOW FOR IT?

COOL BED. OOPS.

- SHE'S GOT BACK ISSUES.
- GET OFF OF THERE.

SHE'S GOT NOTHING
IN HERE BUT GINGER ALE
AND MOISTURIZER.

Girl: GINNY, COME LOOK AT THIS. WOW.

SHE WAS A BLONDE.

OH, THAT DOES NOT
WORK FOR HER AT ALL.

THIS IS AN INVASION OF PRIVACY.
THERE ARE LAWS AGAINST THIS.

WOW, SHE HAS TOURED EVERYWHERE.
SHE WAS IN "OKLAHOMA"

- IN OKLAHOMA.
- HUH, BIG FEET.

- HER BOOBS, HOWEVER--
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF
SOMEBODY CAME TO YOUR HOUSE

AND CALLED YOUR FEET BIG
AND YOUR BOOBS SMALL?

BOY, SHE'S SURE GOT
A LOT OF JUNK ON HERE.
WHO'S ROD STEWART?

YOU BREAK INTO A HOUSE
AND YOU DON'T THINK
TO INVITE ME?

- SASHA!
- FINALLY!

HUH, A BATHTUB
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM--

- HOW VERY MID-CENTURY SHTETL.
- WE THOUGHT YOU WERE
IN MILITARY SCHOOL.

- NO, WE DIDN'T. WE JUST
THOUGHT YOU GOT BUSTED.
- FOR WHAT?

- FOR WHAT?
- FOR THE CAR THING?

THE SNEAKING OUT THING,
THE JUST GENERALLY
BEING YOU THING.

NOPE, NOT BUSTED.
IN FACT THEY TOOK ME TO A SPA

- AND...
- WHAT?

- NEXT SHOPPING SPREE
IS ON ME.
- NO WAY.

THEY GAVE YOU
A CREDIT CARD
FOR BEING A JERK?

IT'S ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO BE
FOR EMERGENCIES, BUT THESE DAYS
WHAT ISN'T AN EMERGENCY?

WHAT WITH GLOBAL WARMING
AND THE WORLD COMING
TO AN END AND ALL,

EVERYTHING'S FAIRLY DIRE.
SO WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

THERE'S A LEAK
IN THE DRESSING ROOM
SO MICHELLE TOLD US

- TO GET READY FOR CLASS HERE.
- AND WE'RE GOING THROUGH
HER STUFF.

WE ARE NOT
GOING THROUGH HER STUFF!

OKAY, LET'S GO
THROUGH HER STUFF.

Girl:
OOH, WHAT'S THIS?

- Girl #2: LOOK AT
ALL THIS JEWELRY.
- OH MY GOODNESS.

HUH, A FILTHY DOLL.

NICE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
HAPPENED HERE?

- Ginny: OUCH.
- Melanie: THAT'S A STORY.

- Boo: IT GOT RIPPED.
- IN TWO.

- LIKE IN A PSYCHOTIC RAGE.
- MAYBE SHE HAD A BREAKDOWN.

YEAH. THAT EXPLAINS
HOW SHE LOST EVERYTHING
AND WOUND UP LIVING HERE.

- I THINK THIS PLACE IS COOL.
- BUT IF SHE HAD
A PSYCHOTIC BREAK

THAT INVOLVED A DOLL,
THEN WOULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN
A LONG TIME AGO?

- YEAH, SO?
- SO IS SHE STILL BROKEN?

- MAYBE SHE'S ON MEDS.
- Melanie: OR MAYBE SHE'S ONE OF
THOSE FUNCTIONING CRAZY PEOPLE

THAT'S NORMAL IN THE DAY
AND THEN TALKS TO DOLLS
AT NIGHT.

THAT WOULD MAKE HER
MUCH MORE INTERESTING,
THAT'S FOR SURE.

HUH.

ONE WORD: OUCH.

NOW REMEMBER,
IT'S A LONG REACH OUT
ON THE PENCHE,

AS IF THE FOOT AND THE HAND
ARE CONNECTED.

ONE GOES DOWN,
THE OTHER GOES UP.

RIGHT?

OKAY AND HIT!

FROM THE TOP.

- [ ballad playing ]
- [ tools banging ]

- [ Davis and Truly arguing ]
- HEY!

- I MAY ONLY HAVE ONE EYE,
BUT I'VE GOT TWO EARS.
- THEN QUIT THE BANGING.

HEY!
SORRY, HOLD ON.

- [ music stops ]
- Truly: WHY ARE YOU
MAKING SUCH A MESS?

- OY!
- TOO LOUD?

- TOO LOUD.
- SORRY.

I TOLD YOU IT WAS TOO LOUD,
YOU FREAKING MISSING LINK!

SORRY ABOUT THAT.
AGAIN, FROM THE TOP.

[ vocalizing ]
♪ OOOH, DESIRE...

♪ LYING IN A QUIET
BACK ROOM ♪

♪ CAREFUL 'CAUSE THE HOUSE
COULD CRACK SOON ♪

♪ AND IN THE MORNING
WE CAN PLAY THIS GAME... ♪

NICE.

[ applause ]

EXCELLENT!
REALLY GREAT.

YOU!
GIRL WITH THE BIG EARS,

AT FIRST GLANCE,
YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE
A SPECK OF GRACE IN YOU,

BUT YOU DO.
SERIOUSLY.

GAZELLES!
ALL OF YOU-- GAZELLES!

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- DID YOU SEE THE--

THIS IS NOT THE BELASCO!
YOU ARE NOT HERE TO WATCH
"GUYS AND DOLLS"!

- I KNOW THAT.
- GET BACK IN THE ROOM.

I CAN'T STAND
"GUYS AND DOLLS."

RUN.
SAVE YOURSELVES.

[ laughter ]

- BOO, DID YOU
SEE HER WATCHING?
- SO WEIRD.

- HOW'S IT GOING
UP HERE, KIDS?
- GREAT.

- NOT SO.
- I'M DONE.

- YOUR CAREER IS.
- WELL, EVERYTHING'S DONE.

I CHANGED OUT
A BUNCH OF RUSTY PIPES,
REPLACED THE SHUT-OFF VALVE.

- IT'S ALL GOOD.
- WE'LL SEE.

I STAND BY THE WORK.
IT'S A FAMILY BUSINESS.

- THE GAMBINO FAMILY.
- HEY!

WE'VE BEEN IN BUSINESS
50 YEARS AND RUNNING.

I SAW THE PICTURE OF YOUR
GRANDFATHER ON THE TRUCK--
NICE LOOKING MAN.

- THAT'S MY GRANDMOTHER.
- OH, SORRY.

WOMEN LOOKED DIFFERENT
BACK THEN.

YOU CAN GET
THE DRYWALLERS
IN HERE ANYTIME.

THANK YOU, DAVIS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

- SO IT IS WITH A SENSE OF
SATISFACTION THAT I CAN SAY--
- MILDEW.

- WHAT?
- THE CARPETS. THEY TO BE DRIED
OR THEY'LL MILDEW.

- IT'S DRYISH.
- NOT DRY ENOUGH.
YOU NEED FANS.

- FANS?
- OR ELSE THE MILDEW
WILL COME.

AND ONCE MILDEW COMES,
IT NEVER LEAVES.

- ALL RIGHT.
- I'D HELP, BUT I HAVE
TO GET BACK TO WORK.

IT'S OKAY.
THANKS, TRULY.

[ dryer whirring ]

- THIS IS A SAD SIGHT.
- IT'S THE MILDEW.

I HAVE TO STOP THE MILDEW!

WE JUST CAME UP HERE
TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE OKAY.

- [ dryer clicks off ]
- I'M AS OKAY AS I LOOK.

- DO YOU NEED HELP?
- I'M ALREADY HELPING.
SHE'S USING MY BLOW-DRYER.

- I'M FINE.
- Melanie: WE CAN'T
LEAVE YOU HERE LIKE THIS.

WHAT IF YOU ELECTROCUTE
YOURSELF? THEY WOULDN'T FIND
YOUR BODY FOR HOURS.

NOT TRUE.
I GOT MY JAZZY G-SLIDING
BOOGIE WOOGIE

BARN DANCING
HULA CLASS IN FIVE MINUTES.
THOSE KIDS'LL FIND ME.

- LET'S HELP.
- NO, YOU SHOULDN'T,
I COULDN'T.

PLEASE GET IN HERE.

Charlie:
MELANIE! PIG!
WHERE ARE YOU?

- IS THAT CHARLIE?
- YEAH. HE'S HERE
TO PICK ME UP.

- WHAT, JERK?!
- DON'T LEAVE ME WAITING.
MY TIME IS VALUABLE.

BITE ME.
THERE'S A FLOOD UP HERE
AND I'M HELPING.

I CHANGED MY WHOLE SCHEDULE
TO COME PICK YOU UP.
I HAD THINGS TO DO.

THE BOX OF TISSUES IN YOUR
BEDROOM WILL STILL BE THERE
WHEN YOU GET BACK.

- GO AWAY!
- YOU LOOK GROSS
FROM THIS ANGLE.

- YOU LOOK GROSS
FROM EVERY ANGLE.
- ONLY TWO MORE DAYS

LEFT OF THIS AND I'M FREE
OF CATERING TO YOU. ADIOS.

- YOU HAVE MENTAL PROBLEMS.
- SO IN TWO DAYS HE WON'T HAVE
TO BE YOUR CHAUFFEUR ANYMORE?

OH NO, HE WILL.
I FOUND A JOINT IN HIS ROOM.

AND ONCE I SHOW IT
TO MY PARENTS,

HE'S GOING TO BE
DRIVING MISS DAISY
FOR A LONG TIME.

- I'M MISS DAISY.
- GOT IT.

[ dryers whirring ]

- HOW LONG HAVE WE
BEEN DOING THIS?
- THREE HOURS.

LAST SEMESTER
WE READ "NO EXIT."

I DIDN'T GET IT,
BUT I DO NOW.

HOW DO WE KNOW
WHEN WE'RE DONE?

WHEN THE CARPET'S DRY
AND NOTHING SMELLS LIKE MILDEW.

- WHAT DOES MILDEW SMELL LIKE?
- IT SMELLS LIKE IT SOUNDS.

YUCK. HOW IS IT THAT
HALF OF THIS ROOM SMELLS
LIKE RASPBERRIES

AND THE OTHER HALF
SMELLS LIKE A GAS STATION?

I THINK IT'S ALWAYS
BEEN LIKE THAT.

- SO WE'VE ACHIEVED STATUS QUO?
- WHICH MEANS WE'RE DONE?

LADIES, THEY SAY
GO WITH YOUR GUT.

AND MY GUT TELLS ME
WE ARE DONE.

AND THAT IT'S HUNGRY.
ARE YOU GUYS HUNGRY?

- UH-HUH.
- WELL, I AM TAKING
MY FOUR HEROINES

OUT FOR ANYTHING
AND EVERYTHING THEY WANT.
HOW DOES THE OYSTER BAR SOUND?

- INEVITABLE.
- IT'S THE ONLY PLACE OPEN.

- I'M STARVING.
- I'M KIND OF HUNGRY TOO.

- I DO LIKE THEIR ONION RINGS.
- GET ONION RINGS, GET BURGERS,

HELL, IT'S LOBSTER NIGHT.
STUFF YOURSELVES WITH LOBSTER.

- DO NOT GET THE LOBSTER.
- GOT IT.

OKAY, EVERYBODY,
BLOW-DRYERS OFF,
LET'S GET GOING.

- THEY ARE OFF.
- SO THAT NOISE IS JUST
IN MY HEAD NOW?

- AFRAID SO.
- GREAT.

- BOO, HAVE A FRIED TRIANGLE.
- NO THANKS.

- FRIED RECTANGLE?
- NO THANKS.

- OCTAGON?
- NO.

- SOLAR SYSTEM?
- I AM HAPPY WITH
MY SALAD, THANK YOU.

NO ONE IS HAPPY WITH A SALAD.
THE LETTUCE JUST PUNCHED
ITSELF IN THE FACE.

- UGH, I'M ALREADY STUFFED.
- 'CAUSE YOU WEIGH TWO POUNDS.

THIS COMING
FROM REFRIGERATOR PERRY
DOWN THERE.

- EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT
HERE, LADIES?
- YES SIREE BOB.

- GREAT. BOO, TABLE FOUR
NEEDS SOME WATER.
- OKAY.

BOO, WAIT!

SHE MOVES FAST, THAT ONE.

I REALLY WANT TO THANK YOU GUYS
FOR HELPING ME OUT TONIGHT.

AND TO PROVE IT,
WE WILL ORDER MORE
CHICKEN WINGS.

JUST DON'T TELL
MADAME FANNY WE ATE THIS.

- YEAH, THAT WOULD NOT BE GOOD.
- FANNY HAS SOME DIETARY
RULES, HUH?

- SHE HAS RULES FOR EVERYTHING.
- HOUSEHOLD PRODUCTS,
SUSTAINABLE FISH,

EXTRACURRICULAR
ACTIVITIES.

SWIMMING, PIANO LESSONS,
READING-- ALL FINE.

Mel:
HORSEBACK RIDING,
ICE SKATING,

- ROLLER BLADING, SKIING...
- ALL OUT?

- ALONG WITH HIGH HEELS.
- THEY SHORTEN YOUR TENDONS.

- HEAVY PURSES...
- THEY THROW YOUR SHOULDERS OFF.

- AND TIGHT JEANS.
- THEY JUST LOOK TRASHY.

- NO EATING AFTER SUNDOWN,
AVOID DIRECT SUNLIGHT.
- ARE YOU GREMLINS?

- OKAY, WHAT DID I MISS?
- WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
FANNY'S RULES.

YOU TELL HER ABOUT
WALKING ON SAND?

OH YEAH, I FORGOT.
NO WALKING ON SAND.

AND NO GOING IN THE OCEAN--
IT'S JUST A GIANT FISH TOILET.

MMM, THIS SALAD
IS REALLY GOOD.

- BOO, YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT
ON THE CLOCK, RIGHT?
- I KNOW.

YOU DID NOT HAVE TO REFILL
THOSE WATER GLASSES.

- I KNOW, BUT HE'S MY BOSS.
- YES, WHEN YOU ARE WORKING.

BUT WHEN YOU ARE NOT WORKING,
HE'S JUST ANOTHER BOY

- WHO WENT TO THE PROM
WITH HIS COUSIN, OKAY?
- OKAY.

- BOO, TABLE THREE STILL
HASN'T GOTTEN THEIR DESSERT.
- I'M ON IT.

HEY!
UGH, OKAY FINE.

ANY OTHER RULES
I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT?

YOU CAN'T BE LATE FOR CLASS.
LITERALLY NOT A SECOND.

- AND THERE'S THE BOOB RULE.
- I'M SORRY, WHAT?

WELL, IF YOU HAVE
A CERTAIN CUP SIZE...

THEN YOU HAVE TO DOUBLE-BRA,
AND IF THAT DOESN'T
HELP, TAPE.

- WHAT?
- TAPE 'EM DOWN.

- NO.
- MADAME FANNY HATES BOUNCE.

- I BOUNCE.
- WELL, BELIEVE ME,
A LITTLE BOUNCE IS GOOD.

- NOT FOR BALLET.
- YEAH, BUT FOR OTHER THINGS.

- LIKE SEX?
- WELL--

GUYS WILL LIKE YOU BETTER
IF YOU'RE BIG.

- I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
- I DO.

MY BROTHER HAS A WALL
OF BOOBS IN HIS ROOM.

A WHOLE WALL COVERED
WITH PICTURES OF BOOBS.

THE FACES, NOT IMPORTANT,
THEY'RE COVERED UP BY BOOBS.

- NOT ALL GUYS ARE
OBSESSED WITH BOOBS.
- SOME LIKE BUTTS.

- MORE LIKE BOOBS.
- ALL I KNOW IS
UNLESS I FIND ONE

WHO GETS HOT FOR
A REALLY DEFINED CLAVICLE,
I'M DYING ALONE.

- I'M BACK.
- TABLE THREE GET DESSERT?

- YEP.
- CAKE?

- PIE.
- WHIPPED CREAM?

- OF COURSE.
- COFFEE REFILL?

- YES.
- REGULAR AND DECAF?

- THE OLD GUY HAS
TROUBLE SLEEPING.
- BOO.

- I'M NOT ON THE CLOCK?
- YOU'RE NOT ON THE CLOCK!

FINE.

MM, BOY, THIS IS
A REALLY GOOD SALAD.

- I PUT SOME FRENCH FRIES IN IT.
- YOU PUT FRENCH FRIES
IN MY SALAD?

- I PUT TWO PACKS OF SUGAR
IN YOUR WATER TOO.
- HEY THERE.

WOW., THAT IS
A LOT OF FRIED FOOD.
DOES FANNY KNOW?

NO, AND YOU'D
BETTER NOT TELL HER.

THEN YOU'RE GOING
TO HAVE TO FIGURE OUT
A WAY TO CONVINCE ME.

TWIST MY ARM.
[ laughs ]

OH, I'M SORRY.
THIS IS A GIRL THING,
ISN'T IT?

- THAT'S OKAY.
- NO NO, I AM INTERRUPTING
A GIRL THING.

I WILL TAKE MY MALENESS
OVER THERE TO THAT TABLE
AND READ.

TAKE YOUR TIME. WHEN YOU'RE
DONE, I'LL DRIVE YOU HOME.

- YOU'RE NICE.
- THAT IS THE SCUTTLEBUTT.

- WHO WAS THAT?
- THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND JOSH.

THEY'VE BEEN TOGETHER
SINCE SECOND GRADE.

- SHUT UP.
- IT'S TRUE.

LIKE, EVER SINCE
SECOND GRADE?

ALL THE TIME?
NO BREAKS AT ALL?

- NOPE.
- WOW. WEIRD.

- WHAT'S WEIRD ABOUT IT?
- OH WELL, IT'S NOT WEIRD LIKE

SEE-THAT-GUY-EATING-THAT
OTHER-GUY'S-FACE-OVER-THERE?-
HE'S-SO-WEIRD WEIRD.

IT'S MORE LIKE NO-OTHER-
GUY-SINCE-SECOND-GRADE?-
THAT'S-WEIRD WEIRD.

IT'S NOT WEIRD.
WE MET, WE CLICKED.
THAT WAS IT.

SO, LIKE, WHAT?
DID YOU HAVE A TOTALLY
SLUTTY FIRST GRADE?

CAMPED OUT BY THE BOYS' CUBBY,
WAITING FOR SOME ACTION?

NO.
JOSH IS THE ONLY GUY
I HAVE EVER DATED.

WELL, THAT'S GREAT.
REALLY, MY HAT'S OFF TO YOU.

WHEN I THINK ABOUT WHAT
I WAS DOING WHEN I WAS 16--
HOLY MOLEY.

- WHAT? WHAT WERE YOU DOING?
- I WAS JUST WILD.

- I DATED EVERYONE.
A NEW GUY EVERY NIGHT.
- Melanie: YOU'RE SERIOUS?

- A NEW GUY EVERY NIGHT.
- ONE GUY MIGHT'VE SNUCK IN
A SECOND TIME,

BUT HE HAD GONE PUNK
AND DYED HIS HAIR GREEN
SO I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE HIM.

- COOL.
- OCCASIONALLY
I DATED IN SHIFTS.

- SHIFTS?
- THE EARLY SHIFT
WAS 6:00 TO 9:00,

THE LATE SHIFT
WAS 9:00 TO 12:00,
AND ONCE IN A WHILE,

IF THE GUY LOOKED LIKE
CHRISTIAN SLATER, THERE WAS
A LITTLE MIDNIGHT MADNESS.

GOD, THOSE WERE
REALLY FUN DAYS,
WHEN EVERYTHING WAS NEW.

I LOVED DATING
WHEN I WAS YOUNG.

HEY, I NEED SOMEONE TALL
TO GET A VAT OF PICKLES
OFF THE TOP SHELF.

BOO, YOU DO NOT
HAVE TO DO THIS.
YOU ARE NOT WORKING,

YOU ARE SITTING WITH FRIENDS.
HOLD YOUR GROUND.

OH, YOU MEAN ME?
SORRY.

[ vocalizing ]

- HEY!
- [ gasps ] WHOA.

- TRULY AND DAVIS!
- OH MY GOD.

- DAVIS AND TRULY!
- GO, DAVIS, GO.

PLEASE DON'T
MENTION THIS ON YELP.

I WOULDN'T KNOW HOW.

UM, SO WHAT,
WAS THE ONE-ARMED
YOGURT GUY UNAVAILABLE?

- DON'T MAKE THIS WORSE.
- TRULY, THERE ARE TOE SHOES

AND LITTLE
FLUFFY TUTUS IN HERE!
YOU CAN'T MAKE OUT HERE.

- I WASN'T THINKING
ABOUT THE TUTUS.
- YOU HATE DAVIS.

- DON'T YOU HATE DAVIS?
- I DON'T HATE DAVIS.
I JUST HATE HIS PLUMBING.

DIDN'T LOOK LIKE IT
FROM WHERE I WAS STANDING.
IS IT THE PATCH?

THE MYSTERY
OF WHAT'S UNDERNEATH?

IT DIDN'T START OUT
AS A MAKE-OUT SESSION.
HE SAID HE LEFT SOMETHING HERE,

- I CAME OVER TO LET HIM IN.
- AND THEN YOU STARTED
TO LET HIM IN.

I'M REALLY SORRY THAT
I GOT INVOLVED IN ALL THIS
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

AND IF ANY TUTUS WERE DAMAGED,
I WILL FIX THEM!

IT'S WHAT I DO!
[ sobbing ]

[ water dripping ]

[ trickling ]

[ birds chirping ]

[ birds caw, flutter ]

SORRY, BIRDS.

- UM, HI?
- YOU NEED A NEW
AIR CONDITIONER.

- THAT AND AN ALARM SYSTEM.
- SEE, I TOLD YOU WE
SHOULDN'T BE HERE.

- YOU SAID WE COULD
USE YOUR PLACE.
- TRUE DAT.

AS A DRESSING ROOM.
WHEN WE HAVE CLASS.

WAIT-- DO WE HAVE
CLASS TODAY, BOO? HOW LONG
WAS I SLEEPING UP THERE?

- NO, IT'S SATURDAY.
- AND I FELL ASLEEP ON FRIDAY,

- SO I'M GOOD HERE.
- DID YOU SAY "TRUE DAT"?

CUT ME SOME SLACK,
I HAD A BAD NIGHT.

WHY DO YOU SLEEP
WITH A JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER
BY YOUR BED?

YOU'LL UNDERSTAND
WHEN YOU'RE OLDER.

SO SOME PRIVACY, GIRLS.
MAMA'S GOTTA CLEAN UP.

IS THE DRESSING ROOM
FIXED YET?

- IT'LL BE READY
FOR CLASS ON MONDAY.
- AFTER ALL THAT DRYING WE DID.

I'M GONNA GET
A SECOND PLUMBER OUT HERE.
HE'S GONNA HAVE TWO EYES.

- IT'LL BE GREAT.
- YOU'RE OUT OF DIET SODA.

- I AM?
- WELL, YOU ARE NOW.

[ groans ]

ARE YOU SURE I CAN'T
BRING YOU ANYTHING?

GOD, NO.
I'VE SPENT THREE DAYS
TRYING NOT TO THROW UP

FROM THAT FREAKY FRIED FESTIVAL
WE HAD THE OTHER NIGHT.

PARTIALLY BECAUSE I HATE
THROWING UP AND PARTIALLY
BECAUSE IF I DO THROW UP,

I WANT TO DO IT
IN CHARLIE'S CAR.

- I'LL BRING YOU
SOMETHING FIZZY.
- THANKS.

- HEY, BOO, BRING FRIES!
- DON'T BOUNCE. I'M NAUSEOUS.

- SORRY. FRIES WILL
MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
- NO!

OH, COME ON.
HAIR OF THE DOG.

YOU'RE WAY TOO PERKY FOR ME
TO DEAL WITH TODAY.

OKAY FINE.
WANT TO GO SHOPPING?

- HOMEWORK-- DARK AGES.
- OH.

- HOW LONG HAVE YOU
BEEN ON THAT PAGE?
- WHY?

- COBWEBS.
- I CAN'T CONCENTRATE.

- WANT MY NOTES?
- DO THEY HAVE HEARTS AND
SMILEY FACES ALL OVER THEM?

- AFRAID SO.
- GIVE 'EM.

- THERE YOU ARE.
- HERE I AM.

- WHAT HAPPENED?
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I'VE BEEN WAITING
FOR YOU FOREVER!
LITERALLY FOREVER!

- SO DRAMATIC.
- GINNY, I'VE BEEN SITTING
OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL SINCE 3:00.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE ABDUCTED.
I WENT BY SIX LIQUOR STORES

AND FORCIBLY VIEWED
THEIR SURVEILLANCE VIDEOS.

- I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING
TO WALK HERE WITH MELANIE.
- YOU DIDN'T WALK HERE WITH--

- YOU NEVER SAID THAT.
- I DID TOO, JOSH.
LISTEN FOR A CHANGE.

GINNY, YOU NEVER SAID THAT
YOU WERE GOING TO WALK
HERE WITH MELANIE.

I NEVER SAID
MEET ME OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL.

I ALWAYS MEET YOU OUTSIDE
OF SCHOOL ON MONDAYS.

MONDAYS, THURSDAYS
AND EVERY OTHER FRIDAY

WHEN I DON'T HAVE JAZZ BAND,
I MEET YOU OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL.

I DON'T WANT
TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

I'VE BEEN MEETING YOU
OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL

ON BASICALLY THAT SAME
SCHEDULE FOR EIGHT YEARS.

ONE YEAR IT WAS TUESDAYS
INSTEAD OF MONDAYS

WHEN I HAD
THAT EXTRA CREDIT
HORTICULTURE CLASS,

BUT THAT WAS
A LONG TIME AGO.

- I NEVER TOLD YOU I'D BE THERE!
- BUT YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE!

AND HOW BORING IS THAT, HUH?
MONDAY, THURSDAY AND EVERY
OTHER FRIDAY?

- I'M FALLING ASLEEP
JUST REPEATING IT.
- IT'S NOT BORING,

- IT'S WHAT WE DO.
- I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

GINNY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
WHY ARE YOU MAD AT ME?

I'M THE ONE WHO FORCED
THE SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT
TO FILE

A MISSING PERSONS REPORT
AGAINST THEIR OWN POLICY!
GINNY!

- WHAT'S GOING ON?
- I DON'T KNOW.

- ARE THEY FIGHTING?
- I THINK THEY'RE FIGHTING.

- THEY NEVER FIGHT.
- MAYBE HE FORGOT TO SET
THE D.V.R.

THIS SEEMS BIGGER
THAN A D.V.R. FIGHT.

GINNY, IF YOU DON'T
COME OUT HERE THEN--

OH MY GOD, HE FOLLOWED HER
INTO THE LADIES' ROOM?!

THAT'S ILLEGAL.
AND JOSH WOULD NEVER
DO SOMETHING ILLEGAL.

SOMETHING'S REALLY WRONG.

CAN YOU HEAR
WHAT THEY'RE SAYING
FROM THE MEN'S ROOM SIDE?

LET'S GO SEE.

HEY THERE,
FARMER JOHN.

YA TENDING
TO YOUR GARDEN?

WOW. THAT'S WEIRD.
IT SMELLS LIKE GARLIC.

I HAD GIOVANNI'S
FOR LUNCH.

AND IT'S PUTTING ME
IN THE MOOD
FOR SOME ITALIAN.

IS GIOVANNI'S GOOD?
I'M ALWAYS ON THE HUNT
FOR A GOOD CALZONE.

- I'M KIND OF BUSY HERE.
- I KNOW. LOOK, TRULY,

I JUST WANTED TO SAY

- I DIDN'T MEAN
TO SPOOK YOU LAST NIGHT.
- I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

BUT I NEED TO APOLOGIZE.
I SHOULD'VE HANDLED IT
MORE DELICATELY.

I WAS DRY HUMPING A PLUMBER
IN THE DANCE STUDIO.

THERE'S NOTHING
DELICATE ABOUT THIS.

AND THEN I MADE IT WORSE.
I COULD HAVE--
[ chuckles ]

WHAT?

WHAT YOU JUST SAID--
THAT WAS FUNNY.

- SO YOU CAME BY
TO LAUGH AT ME?
- NO.

ALTHOUGH THERE IS A TOUCH
OF COMEDY TO ALL THIS,
YOU HAVE TO ADMIT.

I MEAN, LAST NIGHT
I SPENT AN HOUR BEFORE
GOING TO SLEEP

COMING UP WITH
ONE-EYED PLUMBER JOKES,
AND THERE ARE TONS,

BUT I MADE YOU FEEL BAD
AND I DIDN'T MEAN TO.
REALLY.

FINE.

DO YOU AT LEAST WANT
TO TELL ME ABOUT
PLUMBER GUY?

WAS LAST NIGHT
TOTALLY SPONTANEOUS
OR IS THERE A HISTORY?

- I REALLY DON'T WANT
TO TALK ABOUT THIS.
- WHY?

'CAUSE HE ONLY HAS ONE EYE?
'CAUSE OTHERWISE HE'S
PRETTY CUTE.

I ONCE SLEPT WITH A GUY
WHO HAD A PEG LEG.

HE WAS IN THE PIRATE SHOW
AT TREASURE ISLAND.

I THOUGHT IT WAS A PROP.
IT WAS NOT A PROP.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT
THE ONE-EYE THING.

GREAT. BECAUSE IT'S
GOOD TO GET OUT THERE,
GRAB A LITTLE SOMETHING.

TRULY?

I STILL LOVE HUBBELL.

- BUT HE'S GONE.
- I KNOW.

AND EVEN BEFORE HE WAS GONE,
HE WAS TAKEN.

- I KNOW.
- SO HOW LONG ARE YOU
GOING TO WAIT?

ITALIAN WIDOWS WEAR BLACK
THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.

WOW.
SOUNDS SLIMMING.

I FEEL LIKE I'M CHEATING.
IS THAT CRAZY?

PUT THE SHARP SNIPPY THINGS
DOWN AND I'LL ANSWER.

YEAH, I SUPPOSE
ENOUGH TIME HAS PASSED.

- DEFINITELY.
- MAYBE.

DEFINITELY.

SO ARE WE GOOD?

YES.

GOOD.

- GO AHEAD.
- AH, YOU'RE STILL RAW.

- IT'S FINE.
- WE'RE HAVING A MOMENT.

- LAST CHANCE.
- OKAY, SO TELL ME.

WHAT WAS IT LIKE STARING
LONGINGLY INTO DAVIS'S EYE?

DID HE CLOSE HIS?
OH, YOU COULDN'T TELL
'CAUSE YOURS WERE CLOSED.

WAS THERE DEPTH PERCEPTION
PROBLEMS?

LIKE, WHEN HE WENT IN
TO KISS YOU, DID HE MISS?
I'M DYING TO KNOW HERE.

Michelle:
THIS ONE? NOPE. OKAY.

THIS ONE? NOPE.
NOTE TO SELF:

GET YOUR OWN KEY
OR LOSE MIND IN THE PROCESS.

IS THE DRESSING ROOM
UNDERWATER?

NOPE, IT'S SAFE.
ALL DRY.

- HEY.
- YEAH?

- UH, CUTE SHIRT.
- OH, THIS? I JUST THREW IT ON.

- YOU LIKE IT?
- I DO, I DO LIKE IT,
ESPECIALLY SINCE IT'S MINE.

- NO, IT'S NOT.
- SASHA, THAT IS MY SHIRT.

- NO, IT'S NOT.
- THAT SHIRT WAS GIVEN
TO ME BY SIEGFRIED

- THE NIGHT THEIR TIGER ATE ROY.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT.

- ABOUT THE TIGER EATING ROY
OR ABOUT YOU WEARING MY SHIRT?
- EITHER ONE.

- DID YOU TAKE
THAT SHIRT FROM MY ROOM?
- IT'S NOT YOUR SHIRT.

- IT HAS MY NAME IN IT.
- HOW SIXTH GRADE.

DO YOU WRITE YOUR NAME
IN YOUR GLITTER THONGS TOO?

HEY, DON'T GASLIGHT ME, LADY.
THAT IS MY SHIRT.

FINE. YOU WANT IT?

TAKE IT.

DO I WANT IT?
WELL YEAH, I WANT IT
'CAUSE IT'S MINE.

ENJOY.

[ piano music playing ]

ROTATE FROM THE HIP.

EXTEND THE LEG.

BOO, HAVE YOU STOPPED
BREATHING?

YOU'RE GONNA PASS OUT
IF YOU STOP BREATHING.

THERE YOU GO.
MORE FUN WITH OXYGEN, RIGHT?

EYES FRONT, EVERYBODY.

- BOO, YOU'RE NOT
BREATHING AGAIN.
- [ exhales ]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU'RE 15 MINUTES
LATE TO CLASS.

THANKS, NARC.

- HEY!
- [ music stops ]

DRESSING ROOM.
NOW.

WHAT'S WITH HER?
WHAT HAPPENED?

I DON'T KNOW.

- HEY, DID YOU
BREAK YOUR LEGS?
- WHAT?

ARE THOSE PROSTHETICS
YOU HAD TO CARVE YOURSELF

OUT OF AN OLD DINING-ROOM SET?
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE LATE?

- NO.
- THEN WHAT'S
YOUR DAMAGE, HEATHER?

- WHAT?
- BOY, IF ANYONE SHOULD
KNOW THAT REFERENCE IT'S YOU.

STREAM IT, DOWNLOAD IT,
WIKIPEDIA IT,

GOOGLE "PEOPLE WHO STEAL
FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER."
GET TO KNOW THE REAL YOU.

- WHY ARE YOU FREAKING OUT?
- BECAUSE, WINONA, YOU KNOW
YOU CAN'T EVEN BE

A MINUTE LATE FOR CLASS.
FANNY'S RULE, NOT MINE.

- FANNY'S NOT HERE.
- MADAME FANNY TO YOU.

AND NO, SHE'S NOT HERE,
BUT HER CLASS IS, HER STUDIO IS,

AND HER RULES SURE AS HELL ARE.
BUT YOU KNOW ALL THIS,
DON'T YOU?

YOU KNOW THAT THIS KIND
OF BEHAVIOR WILL NOT FLY.

I MEAN, FORGET WHATEVER BEEF
YOU THINK YOU HAVE WITH ME,

BUT THERE ARE KIDS HERE
WHO WANT TO DANCE--
FRIENDS OF YOURS.

- I DON'T HAVE A BEEF WITH YOU.
- WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

WHY ARE YOU
FORCING ME INTO THIS ROLE?
I DON'T WANT TO BE THIS PERSON,

THIS AUTHORITY FIGURE.
IT'S NOT ME.

AND NOW YOU'VE GOT ME
TALKING ABOUT RULES
AND YOUR BEHAVIOR,

AND I LOOK STERN AND I THINK
I WAGGED MY FINGER.
DID I WAG MY FINGER?

YOU MADE ME WAG MY FINGER!
I'M NOT A DISCIPLINARIAN.
I'M NOT A GROWN-UP!

WELL, I DON'T WANT TO BE!

I'M NOT HERE TO TEACH YOU
ANYTHING-- EXCEPT BALLET.

I AM HERE
TO TEACH YOU BALLET.
SO YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES

TO GET THAT HAIR IN A BUN
AND GET YOUR BUTT BACK
TO THE BARRE

OR DON'T BOTHER
COMING BACK TO CLASS.
PERIOD!

MADE ME SAY "PERIOD."
PUNK ASS KID.

FIFTH POSITION.

BATTEMENTS:
FRONT SIDE BACK,

FRONT BACK FIFTH, REVERSE.
BOO, BREATHE.

- LET'S GO.
- [ music playing ]

- THANK YOU.
- [ music clicks off ]

NICE WORK, PEOPLE.

THERE MAY BE
HOPE FOR YOU YET.

YO, ZIPPY.

- DISTURBED MUCH?
- LET'S GO!

- FINE.
- HEY!

- SORRY. DUCK!
- I WISH YOU HAD
A FLESH-EATING DISEASE.

- I DO. IT PICKS ME UP
AND DROPS ME OFF EVERY DAY.
- LET'S GO.

FIRST I HAVE TO GET MY STUFF
AND TALK TO EVERYONE
I KNOW FOR HOURS

- UNTIL YOU SHRIVEL UP AND DIE.
- YOU COMING TOO?

- YES, SHE'S COMING TOO.
- 'CAUSE SUDDENLY I'M WEARING
A CHAUFFEUR'S OUTFIT.

FOR WHAT?!

I'M HERE. IT'S THE RIGHT DAY
AND I'M HERE!

YAY ME, RIGHT?!
AM I RIGHT?

IS IT THE RIGHT DAY?
AM I WRONG?

- CRAP!
- MOM.

OH, YOU'RE HERE!
I'M RIGHT!

YOU ARE RIGHT.
I JUST HAVE TO CHANGE
AND WE CAN GO.

WELL HURRY, I LEFT YOUR BROTHER
AT EITHER THE CAR WASH
OR THE CLEANERS.

EITHER WAY I WON'T HAVE
TO BATHE HIM TONIGHT.

I'M ON TIME.
NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE.

- HIGH FIVE!
- WELL, LOOK WHO'S HERE.

- I KNOW, ON TIME!
- WHATEVER. WHERE ARE
MY AIR FRIES?

YOU! REALLY?

REALLY? WHY?

- WHY? WHY?
- OH, WHAT I'D GIVE
FOR A SENTENCE.

- SHE BROKE UP WITH HIM!
- WHO BROKE UP WITH--

- GINNY BROKE UP WITH JOSH!
- WHAT? WHY?

- BECAUSE YOU TOLD HER TO!
- I DID NOT TELL HER TO.

AFTER EIGHT YEARS SHE BREAKS UP
WITH THE PERFECT MAN!

SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND
HOW HARD THEY ARE TO COME BY!

SHE DOESN'T KNOW THAT
MOST OF THEM ARE SCUM

AND THAT WHEN YOU GET ONE
WHO IS FAITHFUL

AND GOOD TO YOU
AND YOUR MOTHER
THAT YOU KEEP HIM!

- I'M SORRY. IS GINNY OKAY?
- NO, SHE'S NOT OKAY.

- SHE JUST DOESN'T KNOW IT YET.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO RAISE A CHILD ALONE--

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE
A SINGLE MOTHER,

TO BE EXPECTED TO WORK
FULL-TIME,

HOW TO KEEP A HOUSE TOGETHER,
TAKE OUT THE TRASH.

HE WAS WONDERFUL.
HE WAS AROUND SINCE
SECOND GRADE.

AND HE FIXED THINGS.
SHE WAS ALWAYS HAPPY

AND MY TRASH WAS
ALWAYS TAKEN OUT.

DIDN'T HAVE TO FIX
A WINDOW OR A DOOR

AND HE HAD A LADDER.
I HAVE NO LADDER.

YOU KNOW WHERE MY LADDER IS?
IT'S AT FAYE MENDELSON'S HOUSE!

- MOM, STOP!
- AND IF I DIDN'T KNOW
FROM FACEBOOK

THAT FANNY WAS COMING BACK
NEXT WEEK I WOULD PULL HER
OUT OF THIS SCHOOL.

- YOU BROKE UP WITH JOSH?
- YEP.

OH MY GOD!

- [ knocks ]
- I KNOW! I SUCK! I GET IT!

IT'S NANETTE.
CAN I COME IN?

- ARE YOU OKAY?
- I'M THE HARBINGER OF EVIL,
BUT OTHER THAN THAT--

YOU CAN'T LISTEN TO CLAIRE.
SHE'S UNSTABLE AND HER HAIR
NEVER MOVES.

- I CAN'T DO THIS.
- CAN'T DO WHAT, HONEY?

I CAN'T TEACH, RUN A STUDIO,
BE IN CHARGE OF THINGS.

- SURE YOU CAN.
- THE STUDIO'S A MESS

AND IT'S WET AND I DIDN'T
EVEN THINK TO CALL A PLUMBER.
HOW STUPID IS THAT?

FANNY'S GOING TO BE
SO MAD WHEN SHE SEES IT.

IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.
SHE'LL KNOW THAT.

GRAPE JUICE?

AND LIKE AN IDIOT
I TRIED TO BE FRIENDS
WITH THOSE GIRLS.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WAS THINKING.
I MEAN, I'M 100 AND THEY'RE SIX

AND NOW I'M SUPPOSED
TO BE THEIR TEACHER
AND TEACH THEM THINGS.

AND YOU CAN'T TEACH THEM THINGS
IF YOU'RE THEIR FRIEND, I GUESS.

- COOKIE?
- AND SASHA?

UGH, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO WITH HER.

I'M NOT A PSYCHIATRIST
OR ANYTHING, BUT I'D SAY

THERE ARE SOME ISSUES
AT HOME THAT NEED TO BE
DEALT WITH PRONTO.

- WOW.
- PUMPKIN CHOCOLATE CHIP.

THIS IS THE BEST COOKIE
IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

- SHE TOOK MY SHIRT, YOU KNOW.
- NO. REALLY?

STOLE IT AND LIED
RIGHT TO MY FACE.

- DO KIDS DO THAT?
LIE RIGHT TO YOUR FACE?
- OH YES, ALL THE TIME.

I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I'M NOT HER MOTHER.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE NEEDS.

I'M NOT ANYBODY'S MOTHER.
I COULDN'T BE A MOTHER.

MY MOTHER SUCKED.
SHE WAS LIKE A NON-MOTHER.
I CALLED HER DEB.

THAT WASN'T EVEN HER NAME.
THAT'S JUST WHAT I CALLED HER.

THAT FEELS GOOD.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO
ANY OF THIS STUFF.

I HAVEN'T HUNG OUT WITH KIDS
SINCE I WAS A KID.

AND FRANKLY, I WASN'T EVEN
THAT GREAT WITH THEM THEN.

I DON'T HAVE THAT
KID-FRIENDLY GENE.
I'M ALL SHARP CORNERS

- AND A POOL WITH NO COVER.
- YOU KNOW THOSE KIDS LOVE YOU.

- THEY DO?
- BOO TALKS ABOUT YOU
ALL THE TIME.

- YOU'RE A BIG STAR
IN MY HOUSE.
- REALLY?

COULD I HAVE ANOTHER?

EVER SINCE THE FIRST
NIGHT YOU CAME HERE,
SOMETHING HAPPENED TO BOO.

SHE JUST WALKS
A LITTLE TALLER.

THAT CERTAINLY ISN'T
BECAUSE OF ME.

YOU ARE HAVING A MUCH
BIGGER INFLUENCE ON THESE
GIRLS THAN YOU THINK.

JUST HANG IN THERE.

I FORGOT HOW GOOD
GRAPE JUICE WAS.

BOO!

BOO, I WANNA
TALK TO YOU.

SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU MEANT ME.

WHAT OTHER BOO
IS THERE?

I JUST DIDN'T KNOW IF YOU
WERE SAYING, LIKE, "BOO!"

LIKE YOU WERE TRYING TO SCARE
SOMEONE ON YOUR PHONE
OR SOMETHING.

NO, I WANTED
TO ASK YOU A QUESTION.

- SURE.
- WHAT'S UP WITH GINNY?

I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT'S UP WITH HER?

WASN'T SHE, LIKE,
MARRIED TO THAT JOSH GUY
SINCE KINDERGARTEN?

IT WASN'T LEGAL
OR ANYTHING,

ALTHOUGH HE DID GIVE HER
HIS GRANDMOTHER'S RING.

- AND THEY'VE SPLIT NOW, RIGHT?
- LOOKS LIKE IT.

- WHAT AN IDIOT.
- GINNY?

JOSH.
'CAUSE GINNY'S HOT.

YEAH, HOT.

MEL'S PROBABLY
POISONED ME WITH HER,

BUT CAN YOU
DO ME A FAVOR?

- TALK ME UP TO HER.
- SURE.

- I COULD DO THAT.
- THANKS.

YO, SHE-DEVIL!
LET'S GO!

- HEY.
- HI. WHERE'D YOUR MOM GO?

SHE HAD TO TAKE A CALL.
SHE'S IN ESCROW ON SOMETHING.

OH. WELL, UH...

CHARLIE WAS
ASKING ABOUT YOU.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN
ASKING ABOUT ME?

HE WAS ASKING ABOUT YOU--

- YOUR AVAILABILITY.
- MY AVAILABILITY?

REALLY?
YOU MEAN, LIKE...?

CHARLIE?

OH MY GOD.
I NEVER THOUGHT
OF CHARLIE LIKE THAT.

HE WAS ALWAYS JUST CHARLIE--
STINKY CHARLIE.

I MEAN, I KNOW YOU THOUGHT
ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT,

BUT I NEVER THOUGHT
ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT,

AND HE'S ALL
GROWN UP NOW, ISN'T HE?

I MEAN, WOW.

- HE WAS SERIOUS?
- SERIOUS AS A FUNERAL.

I MEAN, NOT THAT
I'D GO OUT WITH HIM,

BUT IT'S JUST NICE TO BE
THOUGHT OF LIKE THAT.

IT'S WHAT MICHELLE SAID:
THERE'S THIS WHOLE WORLD
OF BOYS OUT THERE,

AND I'VE BEEN STUCK
WITH JUST THE ONE.

I WAS MARRIED
WHEN I SHOULD'VE
BEEN DATING AROUND,

TESTING THE WATERS.

I COULD GO OUT WITH CHARLIE,

THEN OUT WITH FREDDY,
THEN OUT WITH EDDIE.

I SHOULD MEET MORE BOYS
BECAUSE I MADE THOSE
LAST TWO UP,

BUT THEY'RE OUT THERE.

OKAY, WELL, THAT'S IT.

I JUST THOUGHT
I'D PASS IT ALONG.

- SO.
- YEAH, THANKS.

- YEAH.
- SEE YA.

SEE YA.

- FEELING BETTER?
- A LOT.

THANKS, NANETTE.
AND THANK YOU
FOR YOUR MAGIC PURSE.

ANYTIME.

BYE, BOO.

[ instrumental music playing ]