All language subtitles for Bunheads.S01E05_English

PREVIOUSLY ON "BUNHEADS"...

MICHELLE, PRINCE CHARMING'S
HERE FOR YOU AGAIN.

- WHAT? OH!
- COME ON, HE'S SWEET
AND HARMLESS.

EVERY TIME HE COMES TO TOWN,
HE BRINGS YOU PRESENTS,

- HE BUYS YOU DINNER.
- MARRY ME.

- WELL, THIS IS IT-- OUR HOME.
- OH, I COULD STAND
HERE FOREVER.

- THAT'S MY PLAN.
- WHO'S THIS?

- MOM.
- YES-- MOM.

HUBBELL WAS
IN A CAR ACCIDENT
LAST NIGHT.

- MADAME FANNY'S HUBBELL?
- YUP.

- BAD?
- YUP.

- AND...?
- HE'S...

- WHAT? HE'S WHAT?
- YOU KNOW.

- I DON'T KNOW.
- OH MY GOD, HE'S DEAD?

- PAPERWORK?
- JUST SOME SIGNATURES.

- SIGNATURE FOR WHAT?
- FOR THE WILL TRANSFER.

I THOUGHT HE TOLD YOU.
HE CALLED ME ON THE WAY
BACK FROM VEGAS.

- HE LEFT EVERYTHING TO YOU.
- Fanny: HOMELESS?

- YOU'RE NOT HOMELESS.
- TALK ABOUT THE FACT
THAT I'M JOBLESS?

- YOU'RE NOT JOBLESS!
- Fanny: AS OF TODAY,
YOU OWN THE BALLET SCHOOL.

NO, YOU OWN THE SCHOOL.
I JUST OWN THE BUILDING

AND THE LAND THE SCHOOL
IS SITTING ON.

ARE YOU LEAVING?

I DON'T KNOW.

THIS IS
YOUR HOME, FANNY.

YOU ARE GONNA LIVE HERE

AND I'M GOING TO MOVE
INTO THE GUEST HOUSE.

- ( birds chirping )
- ( distant barking )

( shakily exhales )

( whispers ) OH MY.

( cellphone dials )

( whispers )
THERE'S SOMETHING
IN MY BED.

WHAT? SPEAK UP.
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

( softly )
THERE'S SOMETHING
IN MY BED.

OH. WELL, JUST GIVE HIM
SOME CAB FARE

- AND CHANGE THE LOCKS.
- IT'S NOT A MAN.

- IT'S A THING.
- A THING?

- A nature thing.
- LIKE A TSUNAMI?

NO, LIKE A POINTY,
FURRY, LONG-TAILED THING

- WITH LITTLE HAND-CLAWS.
- LIKE A RAT?

- Oh my God, is it a rat?
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

- I'M ASKING YOU
IF IT'S A RAT.
- I hate rats.

- JUST GET OUT OF BED.
- I CAN'T. I CAN'T MOVE.

- Michelle.
- I'M PARALYZED
WITH RAT FEAR.

- JUST TAKE A PICTURE.
- FOR POSTERITY?!

TAKE A PICTURE OF THE THING
WITH YOUR CELLPHONE

AND SEND IT TO ME
SO I CAN SEE WHAT IT IS

- AND END THIS CONVERSATION.
- OH. O-O-O-- OKAY,
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

- SHOULD I SAY "CHEESE"?
- NOW YOU'RE MAKING JOKES?

SORRY, I TOURED
WITH DAVID BRENNER
FOR A YEAR.

- ( softly ) OKAY.
- ( beeps )

- ( camera shutter clicks )
- UGH.

( beeps )

OKAY, I JUST
SENT IT TO YOU.

( beeps )

- IT'S NOT A RAT.
- OH GOOD.

- IT'S A POSSUM...
- Oh.

...WHICH IS BASICALLY
A REALLY BIG RAT.

OKAY, HAVE YOU EVER WORKED
AT A CRISIS HOTLINE BEFORE?

- 'CAUSE YOU GOT
MAD PEOPLE SKILLS.
- IT WON'T HURT YOU.

THEY ONLY ATTACK
IF THEY'RE IN HEAT.

OR IS THAT BEARS?

I DON'T KNOW.
I'M NOT JACK HANNA.

GRAB A FRYING PAN
AND BANG IT ON THE HEAD.

OKAY, FIRST OF ALL,
I DON'T COOK.

AND SECOND OF ALL,
I'M NOT BANGING IT
ON ITS HEAD,

'CAUSE IF I DO
AND HIS GIANT RAT FRIENDS
GET WIND OF IT,

THEY'LL START CIRCULATING
GIANT RAT WANTED POSTERS
WITH MY FACE ON 'EM,

AND I COULD WAKE UP
ONE MORNING AND FIND
MYSELF SURROUNDED

BY A GIANT RAT POSSE.
COME SAVE ME.

- I'M HANGING UP NOW.
- TO COME SAVE ME?

YES, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

( beeps )

SHE'S NOT COMING
TO SAVE ME.

- ( hissing )
- AH! AH.

( theme music playing )

- Fanny: FALLON MEATS, 724.
- Truly: 724.

BOX 1.
FRITZY'S CLEANERS, 162.

- 162.
- IT MOVED AND I FLED.

- BOX 2.
- DO YOU HAVE
ANY PEANUT BUTTER?

HANDYMAN, 88.14.

- WE NEED
A CHEAPER HANDYMAN.
- I WAS THINKING

IF I PUT SOME PEANUT BUTTER
ON SOME CRACKERS

AND THEN STICK IT
JUST OUTSIDE THE FRONT DOOR,

I COULD COAX HIM OUT AND HAVE
A PLACE TO LIVE AGAIN.

- STATIONARY STORE...
- YOU DON'T HAVE ANY
PEANUT BUTTER...

- ...99.75.
- ...OR CRACKERS.

- NO, WAIT-- 76.
- OR FOOD.

NO. 75.

I'M SORRY.
IS THAT A FIVE OR A SIX?

- IT'S A THREE.
- OH. 99.73.

YOU THINK A POSSUM
WOULD LIKE POWDERED YEAST?

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN MY KITCHEN?
- I TOLD YOU.

- OOH, NUTS.
DO THEY LIKE NUTS?
- WHO?

- MICHELLE HAS A VISITOR
IN HER BEDROOM.
- ALREADY?

IT'S A POSSUM.
HE'S IN MY BED.

OH. OH, THAT'S HORRIFYING.

IT IS HORRIFYING.
YOU KNOW, TRULY,

I CAN'T GO BACK IN THERE
UNTIL HE'S GONE.

MAYBE I COULD BUNK
WITH YOU TONIGHT?
WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WE COULD PRACTICE
KISSING OUR PILLOWS,

PULL A "FAST TIMES
AT RIDGEMONT HIGH"
WITH SOME CARROT STICKS.

I NEVER KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

- NEITHER DOES SHE.
- HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

- IT'S PAYING SEASON.
- WHAT'S PAYING SEASON?

TWICE A YEAR,
TRULY AND I GO
THROUGH MY BILLS,

ADD UP WHAT'S OWED,
SORT OUT WHO GETS WHAT,

BALANCE THE BOOKS,
WRITE THE CHECKS

- AND SETTLE
ALL MY BUSINESS ACCOUNTS.
- I'M SORRY. CLARIFY:

YOU ONLY PAY
YOUR BILLS TWICE A YEAR?

THAT'S THE WAY
WE DO IT IN PARADISE.

EVERYONE HAS
A PAYING SEASON.
DON'T THEY, TRULY?

UH-HUH. MINE IS WHEN
THE BILLS COME IN,

BUT FANNY'S SYSTEM
WORKS GREAT TOO.

I DIVIDE ALL MY BILLS
INTO FOUR HATBOXES.

BOX #1 IS FOR PEOPLE
WHO HAVE TO GET PAID,
LIKE ELECTRIC.

YOU ONLY PAY
YOUR ELECTRIC BILL
TWICE A YEAR?

WELL, I'VE KNOWN
FRED FOREVER.

BOX #2 IS FOR PEOPLE
WHO SHOULD GET PAID.

THEY'VE EARNED IT,
THEY'VE WAITED,

SO THEY GET FIRST SHOT
AFTER PEOPLE IN BOX #1,

- THE ONES THAT HAVE
TO GET PAID.
- HUH.

NOW BOX #3 IS FOR PEOPLE
WHO MIGHT GET PAID.

MAYBE THEY WERE TOO AGGRESSIVE
IN THEIR BILLING PRACTICES
OR RUDE TO DEAL WITH.

WHATEVER THE REASON,
THEY NEED TO WAIT

UNTIL THE OTHER ACCOUNTS
ARE SETTLED,

AND THEN IF THERE'S
ANYTHING LEFT OVER,
WE'LL SEE WHAT WE CAN DO.

NOW THIS LAST BOX--
WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT'S IN HERE.

THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS
THAT MIGHT BE RECEIPTS

OR THEY MIGHT BE TRASH,
BUT WE'RE KEEPING THEM

IN CASE WE GET AUDITED.

EVERY DAY IN YOUR HOUSE IS
LIKE A KRISTEN WIIG
FILM FESTIVAL.

GO AWAY NOW.
WE'RE BUSY.

OKAY FINE,
BUT I'M TAKING THE NUTS.

THESE NUTS.
YOU TWO CAN STAY
WHERE YOU ARE.

TWO-TOPS SHALL
REMAIN TWO-TOPS.

FOUR-TOPS SHALL REMAIN
FOUR-TOPS.

NO TWO AT A FOUR,
NO FOUR AT A TWO--

MAINLY 'CAUSE
THERE AREN'T ENOUGH CHAIRS.

- DID YOU GET THAT JOKE?
- GOT IT.

GOOD. NOW MOST PLACES TELL
THEIR EMPLOYEES THEY MUST
WASH THEIR HANDS

EVERY TIME THEY USE
THE BATHROOM. NOT ME.

I'M MORE OF
AN EVERY-20-MINUTES GUY
MYSELF. SEE THIS?

- OUCH.
- YUP, CHAPPED RAW.
BLEED AT NIGHT.

AND THAT'S NOT
FROM PLOWING FIELDS,
MY FRIEND.

- YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S FROM?
- FREQUENT HAND WASHING.

FREQUENT HAND WASHING.
EXACTLY.

NOW I CAN'T VOUCH
FOR THE GUYS BACK THERE
IN THE KITCHEN,

BUT UP HERE I PROMISE
YOU CAN EAT RIGHT
OFF OUR HANDS.

- OR WITH THEM.
- I'LL HANDLE THE JOKES FOR NOW.

- SORRY.
- LISTEN, WIPE THAT TABLE,
WILL YOU?

I DON'T WIPE TABLES NOW
THAT I'M A SENIOR MANAGER.

NOW EACH TABLE IS
NAMED AFTER A COLLEGE
I WANT TO GO TO.

THE BIGGER THE TABLE,
THE MORE I WANT TO GO
TO THAT COLLEGE.

AMHERST.
THIS IS BERKELEY.

YOU SEE THAT TABLE
OVER THERE? TABLE SIX?

SEATS EIGHT. HARVARD.

I REALLY WANT
TO GO TO HARVARD.

GROUPS OF THREE,
MY SECTION.

BE RIGHT WITH YOU GUYS.
GROUPS OF TWO, YOUR SECTION;

UNLESS IT LOOKS LIKE
THEY'RE ON THEIR FIRST DATE,

THEN THAT'S GONNA
BE MY SECTION.

ANY GROUP OF KIDS THAT LOOK
LIKE THEY'RE COMING IN

TO SHARE A PLATE OF FRIES--
YOUR SECTION.

ANYONE WITH YOGA PANTS--
YOUR SECTION.

ANY WOMEN COMING IN
WITH SHOPPING BAGS

AND LOOK LIKE THEY'RE SETTLING
IN FOR THE AFTERNOON

TO HAVE SOME DRINKS,
COMPLAIN ABOUT THEIR HUSBANDS--

- YOUR SECTION.
- YOU'RE LEARNING.

NOW PART OF YOUR JOB--
THE DUMPSTER JUMP.

I'M SORRY. WHAT?

IF THE TRASH IS UP
TOO HIGH,

THE TOP WON'T CLOSE
AND THE GARBAGE TRUCK
WON'T PICK IT UP,

SO SOMEONE HAS TO GO INSIDE
AND SQUASH THE TRASH,

WHICH IS BEST ACCOMPLISHED
BY A REPETITIVE JUMPING MOTION.

- UP AND DOWN.
- YOU WANT ME TO GET IN
THE DUMPSTER?

NO, I DON'T WANT YOU TO.
IT'S JUST PART OF THE JOB.

- NOW?
- YEAH.

OH. OKAY.

- COULD YOU--
- WHAT IF I'M NOT HERE?

WHAT IF I'M
OFF AT HARVARD?
WHAT THEN?

RIGHT.

( grunts )

( shrieks )

GOOD. NOW JUMP.

YEAH. NO,
GIVE IT SOME OOMPH.

MORE OOMPH. COME ON.
YOU'RE A DANCER, RIGHT?

JUST GIVE IT SOME HEIGHT.

YEAH, THERE YOU GO.
AH.

SO DO YOU HAVE
A BOYFRIEND?

- OOH, SO CUTE. AIDS?
- WHALES.

- NICE.
- YEAH, "SAVE THE WHALES."

IT'S MY CAUSE, MY THING.
IT DEFINES ME.

SO YOU'RE
SHOWING YOUR SUPPORT
FOR THE ENVIRONMENT

BY WEARING
SYNTHETIC RUBBER BANDS
MADE FROM PETROLEUM--

A VALUABLE NATURAL RESOURCE
THAT YOU'RE WASTING--

- TO MAKE A STATEMENT?
- WELL, THEY'RE PINK.

- WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
- I KNOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN
IT TOTALLY STINKS.

- ARE THERE HORSES
ON THE PROPERTY?
- NO, IT'S NOT THAT.

- DID THE SEPTIC TANK BACK UP?
- NO, IT'S MORE OF A SMELL

- LIKE WHEN MY MOM MAKES CHILI.
- OH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

- IT SMELLS LIKE
A SUPER BOWL PARTY.
- BUT AN OLD SUPER BOWL PARTY

FROM THE FIRST SUPER BOWL
AND IT'S ALL COVERED IN
BURNT MICROWAVE POPCORN.

I TOOK
FOUR SHOWERS, OKAY?

- IT WON'T COME OUT.
- OH MY GOD, IT'S YOU?

YES, IT'S ME. IT'S ME.
THE SMELL IS ME.

- BUT WHAT HAPPENED?
- I GOT A JOB AT THE OYSTER BAR.

PEOPLE HAVE TO WORK.
THE ECONOMY IS BAD.

- WATCH THE NEWS.
- ( girls cough )

I'LL GO CHANGE DOWNWIND.

- ( sprays )
- ( girls gag )

- OH GOD.
- ( coughs )

- HEY!
- GOD!

- WHAT'S GOING ON
IN THERE?
- I--

WAIT.
SORRY, MANNERS.

SAL RUSSANO,
PROPRIETOR OF THE LOCAL
DANCEWEAR STORE--

- "SAL'S DANCY PANTS."
NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO--

I'M AWARE THAT FANNY'S
PAYING SEASON STARTS TODAY,

AND I JUST WANNA KNOW
WHAT BOX I'M IN...

- OH.
- ...BECAUSE FOR THE LAST
THREE YEARS I'VE BEEN

IN THE MIGHT-GET-PAID BOX.
AS IT TURNS OUT,
I NEVER GOT PAID.

WELL, TO BE FAIR, YOU WERE
IN THE MIGHT-GET-PAID BOX.

I'M JUST SAYING
IF I GET PUT INTO
THE MIGHT-GET-PAID BOX AGAIN,

- I HAVE TO BE PAID.
- THEN YOU'LL BE IN
THE HAVE-TO-GET-PAID BOX.

LOOK, I DON'T CARE
HOW THE SYSTEM WORKS.

I WANT MY MONEY.
I HAVE EXPENSES.

AND I SWEAR TO GOD
IF I DON'T GET PAID THIS YEAR,

SOMETHING'S GONNA HAPPEN.
YOU HEAR ME? YOU TELL FANNY

IF I WIND UP IN THE WRONG BOX,
I'M GONNA COME DOWN THERE

AND I'M GONNA RIP
THE TOE SHOES RIGHT OFF
THOSE LITTLE GIRLS.

- WOW.
- MID-JETE,
THEY'RE COMING OFF.

OKAY, WILL DO.
I'LL TELL HER
RIGHT AFTER I CALL 911.

- YOU'RE A DANCER.
- WHAT?

- YOU LOOK LIKE
A DANCER FROM THE BACK.
- UH, YEAH, I AM.

I CAN ALWAYS TELL
BY THE TUSH. DANCERS HAVE
A VERY SPECIFIC TUSH,

AND DIFFERENT KINDS OF DANCERS
HAVE DIFFERENT KINDS OF TUSHES.

- REALLY?
- OH YEAH, TAP DANCER'S TUSH
IS ALWAYS HIGHER,

'CAUSE THEY KEEP JUMPING
UP AND DOWN ALL THE TIME.

BALLET DANCERS HAVE
A NICE CENTERED TUSH.

FOSSE'S GOT
A VERY CONTOURED TUSH--

A LOT OF SIDE INDENTATION.

BUT YOU-- YOU HAVE
A SORT OF MULTI-TUSH.

I SEE SOME BALLET,
A LITTLE TAP,

MAYBE SOME MODERN.
THAT'S A GOOD TRAINED TUSH.

- THANK YOU.
- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
WITH THAT TUSH?

- RENT IT OUT FOR FUNCTIONS?
- YOU LIVE HERE NOW.

- YES.
- NO DANCE COMPANIES HERE.

- I KNOW.
- NO BROADWAY, NO REGIONAL.

WE HAD "STOMP" HERE ONCE,
BUT THAT'S A VERY
SPECIFIC THING.

EVER DANCE
WITH A TRASH-CAN COVER?

- NO.
- WELL, THEN UNLESS
THAT TUSH CAN TYPE,

- YOU SHOULD BE DANCING.
- I NEVER SAID I WASN'T.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE
THAT TUSH FOREVER.

CAN WE TALK ABOUT
MY KNEES FOR A WHILE?

OH, AND I SENSE
SOME FRUSTRATION WITH THIS
TOPIC OF CONVERSATION.

- DO YA?
- I'M DONE.

BUT JUST REMEMBER--

A TUSH IS
A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE.

COME BY THE STORE.

FIRST TIME, 50% OFF.

- THANKS.
- SURE.

- REMEMBER TO TEL FANNY.
- MID-JETE,

SHOES RIPPED OFF.
GOT IT.

FANNY, THERE'S AN ASS-MAN
IN YOUR BUSHES

WHO WANTS TO KNOW
WHAT BOX HE'S IN.

COULD THAT SOUND
ANY DIRTIER?

( wind gusts )

I FOUND YOUR PHONE BILL.

I CAN'T REACH IT.
IS IT IMPORTANT?

IT'S ALL IMPORTANT.
THEY'RE BILLS.

I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD
START PUTTING THIS ALL
ON A COMPUTER.

OH, SO NOW THIS IS MY FAULT?
WHO OPENED THE DOOR?

IT'S HOT AND YOU WON'T
PUT ON THE AIR CONDITIONING!

- ( wind gusts )
- OH! OH, GRAB 'EM!

OH! OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

HALF OF MARCH IS
BEHIND THE TV.

I'M STARTING
TO WONDER HOW YOU EVER MADE
A PROFIT AT SPARKLES.

( angrily )
I HAVE A COMPUTER
AT SPARKLES.

CALM DOWN, I'LL HELP.

JUST REMIND ME
WHAT GOES IN WHICH HATBOX

AND WE'LL HAVE THIS SYSTEM UP
AND NOT WORKING IN NO TIME.

- WHAT TIME IS IT?
- PLEASE SAY TIME
FOR YOUR MEDS.

I HAVE TO GO.
I HAVE A CLASS TO TEACH.

- WHAT?
- YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE.

- TRULY CAN HANDLE THIS.
- THE PLACE IS A WRECK.

SHE'S FINE.
YOU'RE FINE.

- SEE? SHE'S FINE.
- SHE'S NOT FINE!

- LOOK AT HER EYES.
SHE'S THE GIRL WHO HIDES...
- ( door opens )

- ...THE CHICKEN UNDER HER BED
IN "GIRL, INTERRUPTED."
- ( door closes )

THERE'S TOO MANY.
THERE'S TOO MANY!

OH, TO STAY, TO GO?
TO STAY, TO GO--
GOTTA GO.

YO, FLOWERS,
THESE ARE YOUR FINANCES.

YOU NEED TO START
TAKING THINGS SERIOUSLY.

SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE
SUCH BUSINESS ACUMEN?

SINCE SOME GUY
NAMED SAL THREATENED
TO RIP THE TOE SHOES

OFF YOUR STUDENTS
IF HE DOESN'T GET PAID.

SAL'S NOT GONNA DO THAT.
SAL'S NIECE IS IN MY CLASS.

- SAL'S A PUSSYCAT.
- WELL, PUSSYCAT'S MAD.

IN FACT,
HALF THIS TOWN IS MAD.

GILDA AT THE MINI-MART
WON'T SELL ME A SLUSHEE

TILL SHE FINDS OUT IF SHE'S
A MUST, A MIGHT OR A MAYBE.

- JUST PAY PEOPLE, FANNY.
- IT'LL ALL GET SORTED OUT.

- FANNY, HOW MUCH DO YOU OWE?
- THAT'S WHAT I'M FIGURING OUT.

- HOW MUCH IN YOUR ACCOUNT?
- BEFORE OR AFTER?

- BEFORE OR AFTER WHAT?
- BEFORE OR AFTER I PAY
SOME OF THE PEOPLE I OWE.

- OR ALL THE PEOPLE YOU OWE.
- THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

- THAT'S WHY I HAVE HAT BOXES.
- OKAY, THAT'S IT.

I'M GOING TO GO IN THERE
RIGHT NOW AND I'M GOING
TO FIND AN ACCOUNTANT--

A REAL ONE WITH
A DESK AND A DEGREE
WHO YOU CAN'T MAKE CRY.

OH, TRULY CRIES
OVER CLOUD COVER.

- YOU HAVE TO IGNORE HER.
- GO TEACH, FANNY.

- I GOT THIS.
- I'M NOT GOING
TO AN ACCOUNTANT.

I'M NOT GIVING UP
MY HATBOXES.

SO THE PARENTS SAID
IT'S COOL IF YOU COME OVER
SATURDAY NIGHT.

- I'M THERE. GINNY?
- SOUNDS GREAT.

- JUST LET ME CHECK
WITH MY MOM.
- GINNY.

- HMM?
- WE ALL KNOW
THAT'S NOT YOUR MOM.

- YES, IT IS.
- THERE'S A RED HEART
EMOTICON NEXT TO "HIYA."

SERIOUSLY?
YOU HAVE TO CHECK
EVERYTHING WITH JOSH?

- NOT EVERYTHING.
- EVERYTHING. EVERY SINGLE
DAMN THING.

WELL, SATURDAY IS
A BIG DAY FOR US, OKAY?

WE HAVE TO DO CHORES,
PICK UP POTTING SOIL
FOR MY MOM'S SHED,

GET STAMPS, TAKE GRANDMA
TO THE BUTTON STORE.

- YOU ARE 100.
- BOO, YOUR TABLE.

OKAY, WE'RE GOOD.
WE'LL DO OUR "C.S.I."s
ON SUNDAY.

YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN TOGETHER
SINCE, WHAT, THIRD GRADE?

SECOND--
MISS MARSH'S CLASS.

FIRST DAY HE SAT NEXT TO ME
AND BY LUNCH THAT WAS IT.

- WE WERE SOULMATES.
- IN SECOND GRADE?

SO WHAT IF I FOUND MY SOULMATE
IN THE SECOND GRADE?

IT'S ROMANTIC.
AND CONVENIENT.

VERY PRACTICAL.
ONE LESS THING FOR ME
TO WORRY ABOUT.

- IT'S SO WEIRD.
- YOU LIKE JOSH.

I DO LIKE JOSH.
IT'S STILL WEIRD.

YEAH, WHO STICKS
WITH A DECISION THEY MADE
IN THE SECOND GRADE?

I CAN'T EVEN
STICK WITH DECISIONS
I MADE YESTERDAY.

- ISN'T THAT MY SHIRT?
- YOU GAVE IT TO ME.

- I WANT IT BACK. SEE?
- ( bell dings )

- ALL RIGHT,
LET'S HEAR IT.
- HEAR WHAT?

YES, THE JEANS HAVE PLEATS
AND I'M WEARING A BUTTON
THE SIZE OF MY HEAD.

- WE'RE JUST HERE
TO BE SUPPORTIVE.
- YEAH, AND AS PLEATS GO,

THEY'RE NOT
THAT PLEATY.

- MM-HMM.
- SERIOUSLY, BOO,

IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL.
YOU LOOK FINE.

PLUS THE WHOLE PLACE SMELLS
LIKE RANCID ONIONS, ANYWAY,

- SO YOU TOTALLY BLEND IN.
- UH, THANKS.

YOU'RE WELCOME.
NOW THAT THAT'S BEHIND US,

LET'S TALK.
THIS LITTLE JOB OF YOURS--

- WHAT'S IN IT FOR US?
- MEANING?

WE ARE YOUNG WOMEN
WITH NO MONETARY STABILITY
AT THE MOMENT

AND YET ARE SO SO HUNGRY.

ALYSSA MILANO CRIES
WHEN SHE SEES US.

I CAN PROBABLY
SNEAK YOU GUYS SOME FRIES.

- ONION RINGS?
- JEFF COUNTS THE RINGS
IN THE BACK.

- WHAT ABOUT
THE MOZZARELLA STICKS?
- POSSIBILITY.

- WHAT ABOUT THE CLAMS?
- ( whispers ) YOU SO DO NOT
WANT THE CLAMS.

HOW'S THIS? FRIES,
BREADSTICKS AND HIDE SOME
CHICKEN STRIPS IN THERE.

Ginny:
NO CHICKEN FOR ME.
WE'RE VEGETARIANS NOW.

- "WE"?
- YES, ME AND JOSH--
WE'RE VEGETARIANS.

- SINCE WHEN?
- SINCE JOSH'S
CHOLESTEROL WENT UP.

WAIT, JOSH HAS
HIGH CHOLESTEROL?

- HE'S 15.
- IT'S NOT HIGH HIGH,

BUT IT TICKED UP SLIGHTLY
AND HE DOES HAVE A FAMILY
HISTORY OF IT.

MY MISTAKE.
YOU'RE 200.

OH MY GOD.

( Melanie gasps )
WHOA!

NO WAY.
BOO, WHEN DID GODOT
GET BACK FROM COSTA RICA?

- YESTERDAY.
- AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US?

I DIDN'T KNOW
I WAS SUPPOSED TO.

Melanie:
OH, HE'S EVEN CUTER
THAN LAST YEAR, ISN'T HE?

WAY CUTER.
GINNY, LOOK.

- NO THANKS.
- OH, COME ON.

JUST 'CAUSE YOU HAVE
A BOYFRIEND, YOU CAN'T
EVEN LOOK AT A CUTE GUY?

THAT HAS
NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
I DON'T THINK HE'S THAT CUTE.

YOU ARE THE WORST LIAR
IN THE WORLD.

Melanie:
MUST BE NICE TO HAVING
YOUR PARENTS OWN A RESTAURANT

SO YOU CAN JUST COME
AND GO WHENEVER YOU WANT.

- FOR GOD'S SAKE, GINNY.
- WHAT?

I MEAN, WHAT'S THERE
TO LOOK AT, ANYWAY?

HE'S PROBABLY
JUST STANDING THERE
WITH HIS SHIRT OFF.

- IS HIS SHIRT OFF?
- YEAH.

HIS SHIRT IS OFF.
THAT'S A GOD. HE'S A GOD.

NOBODY TELL JOSH
I JUST SAW GOD.

BUT I THOUGHT YOU
AND JOSH WERE SOULMATES.

I MET HIM IN THE SECOND GRADE.
HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED

TO KNOW IF JOSH
IS MY SOULMATE,
FOR CHRISTMAS'S SAKE?

GIRLS, I HATE
TO INTERRUPT THIS INSTALLMENT
OF OCCUPY OYSTER BAR,

BUT, BOO...
( snaps fingers )

- WHAT'S HE SNAPPING ABOUT?
- YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

ALTHOUGH THE BOOKKEEPING
IS UNCONVENTIONAL,

THERE'S ENOUGH RAW DATA
TO ALLOW ME TO ANALYZE
THE CAPITAL ALLOWANCES.

NOW IF I COULD JUST FIND
THE B2C DEBITS OR THE B3Cs.

HEY. YOU MADE ME COME HERE.

SORRY, I'M BACK.
CONTINUE WITH THE--

OKAY, NOW AS FOR
THE ALL-IMPORTANT
CAPITAL EXPENDITURES,

I'VE BROKEN IT
INTO TWO PARTS.
WE CAN'T IGNORE

THE SIGNIFICANCE
OF THESE EXPENDITURES
ON THE NET LOSSES.

( crunching )

- VERY CLASSY.
- DON'T YOU AGREE?

- I'M SORRY.
- AM I TALKING
TO FAST FOR YOU?

NO, NOT AT ALL.
IF ANYTHING I WISH
HE'D TALK FASTER.

I MEAN, I'M JUST SO BORED.
AREN'T YOU BORED?

I HAVEN'T UNDERSTOOD
A WORD HE SAID SINCE,
"HI, MY NAME IS BOB."

ERIC.
MY NAME IS ERIC.

- OH.
- OKAY.

LET'S JUST CUT
TO THE CHASE.

( sighs )
I'VE GONE THROUGH EVERYTHING

AND YOUR PROBLEM
ISN'T JUST THIS LUDICROUS
ORGANIZATIONAL SYSTEM.

- YOUR PROBLEM IS INCOME.
- MEANING?

YOU NEED SOME.
I MEAN, HAVE YOU TWO SAT DOWN

AND THOUGHT ABOUT HOW
ALL THIS IS GOING TO WORK?

OKAY, LET'S START
WITH MICHELLE.

WAIT, HOW DID
I GET INTO TROUBLE?

YOUR HUSBAND
LEFT YOU PROPERTY,

TWO CARS--
ONE THAT WORKS--
TWO SMALL C.D.s,

A BANK ACCOUNT THAT
IF YOU MANAGE VERY VERY WISELY

WILL KEEP EVERYTHING
GOING FOR A WHILE,

BUT NOT FOREVER.
YOU NEED SOME INCOME.

THE BALLET SCHOOL
HELPS, RIGHT?

Eric:
IT WOULD IF THEY HAD
ANY STUDENTS.

WHOA, WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THAT PLACE IS
LOUSY WITH STUDENTS.
HER CLASSES ARE PACKED.

SORRY, PAYING STUDENTS,

AND ACCORDING TO THESE RECORDS,
MOST OF THE STUDENTS DO NOT PAY.

THEY DON'T?
IS HE RIGHT
ABOUT THIS, FANNY?

I GUESS SO.
I'M ASSUMING YOU GOT US
A DECENT ACCOUNTANT.

I'M SORRY.
WHY DON'T THEY ALL PAY?

WELL, THERE ARE
SCHOLARSHIPS.

- HOW MANY SCHOLARSHIPS?
- I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY.

- HOW MANY KIDS
IN THE SCHOOL?
- 75.

- AND HOW MANY STUDENTS PAY?
- NINE.

- NINE?!
- NINE.

- NINE? NINE?
- YOU SOUND LIKE A GERMAN.

- NINE?
- ARE WE DONE HERE?

- NINE?
- COME ON.

- NINE?
- SAY AUF WIEDERSEHEN

- TO THE NICE ACCOUNTANT MAN.
- NINE?

NINE?

- FANNY.
- ( snaps fingers )

FANNY!

- FANNY.
- OW! OW!

I'M SORRY,
BUT THE WHOLE WAY HOME

YOU WERE LISTENING TO--
REALLY?

- I'M GONNA MAKE SOME TEA.
- YOU WEREN'T LISTENING
TO ANYTHING.

- THERE'S NO MUSIC ON THIS.
- I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE
TO FILL IT YET.

THE ENTIRE CAR RIDE
YOU SAT THERE LISTENING
TO NOTHING

LIKE YOU'RE 15
AND NO ONE ASKED YOU TO PROM.

I WASN'T IN THE MOOD
FOR A LECTURE.

WE NEED
TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

AND I'M STILL
NOT IN THE MOOD.

LOOK, AS FAR AS I CAN TELL,
THE WOO TWINS ARE

THE ONLY FAMILY
REGULARLY PAYING FOR LESSONS.

I'M AN ARTIST, OKAY?

I DON'T THINK ABOUT MONEY.

I'M HERE TO CREATE ART
AND TO CREATE OTHER ARTISTS.

ANY CHILD WHO WANTS
TO DANCE SHOULD BE ABLE
TO DANCE, PERIOD.

I RESPECT THAT, I DO,
BUT GIVEN THE FACT THAT
HARDLY ANYONE PAYS,

THEY'RE TECHNICALLY
NOT DANCERS, THEY'RE SQUATTERS.

SQUATTERS WHO DANCE--
SOUND VERY PINA BAUSCH.

YOU MUST LIKE HER--
SHE'S GERMAN TOO.

YOU'RE IN THE BUSINESS
OF TEACHING AND SHOULD
BE PAID FOR IT.

THAT'S KIND OF HOW THE WHOLE
CAPITALIST THING WORKS.

WELL, HOW ABOUT
A GIRL LIKE SARAH?

SARAH'S FATHER LOST
HIS JOB LAST MONTH.

IF SARAH STOPS
GOING TO CLASSES,

- SHE MOVES
STRAIGHT TO CRACK.
- REALLY? CRACK?

THERE'S NOTHING BETWEEN
TOE SHOES AND CRACK?

- NOT EVEN
A GRATEFUL DEAD ALBUM?
- IT'S MY BUSINESS.

I KNOW,
BUT IT'S OUR PLACE,
OUR HOME,

AND WE NEED
TO BE ABLE TO PAY FOR IT.

THE DANCE STUDIO SIMPLY
CAN'T SURVIVE LIKE IT IS.

HUBBELL'S NOT AROUND
TO SAVE THE DAY ANYMORE.

FOR EITHER OF US.

SO WE NEED TO START
THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX.

- ( kettle whistling )
- HOW ABOUT WE ADD SOME MORE
CLASSES? WHAT ABOUT TAP?

I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S SO LOUD WHEN
THEY TAP AROUND.

- IT'S TAP.
- NO TAP.

OKAY, FINE.
THEN HOW ABOUT
SOME NON-DANCE CLASSES,

LIKE ZUMBA
OR TODDLER CLASSES?

PEOPLE LOVE TO SPEND
MONEY ON TODDLERS.

OR DOGS. YOU COULD
TEACH ONE OF THOSE
DANCING DOG CLASSES,

LIKE ON "LETTERMAN"
WHERE PEOPLE BALLROOM DANCE
WITH THEIR DALMATIANS?

I JUST LOST
THE MATURE PERSON'S
UPPER HAND, DIDN'T I?

- BIG TIME.
- OKAY, FINE. NO DOGS.
BUT THE OTHER IDEA--

THE ONE ABOUT
THE MORE CLASSES--

THAT SHOULD
BE A START, RIGHT?

SURE, I'LL JUST ADD
SOME BABY CLASSES...

- GOOD.
- ...AND SOME TAP CLASSES

AND SOME ZUMBA CLASSES
AND SOME JAZZERCISE

AND DANCING WITH THE OLDIES.
AND I'LL DO ALL OF THIS

BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH
SPARE TIME AND ENERGY

AFTER TEACHING
30 CLASSES A WEEK.

UNLESS YOU WERE THINKING
OF HELPING OUT.

- ME?
- YOU COULD TEACH.

ME? TEACH?
NO NO NO NO NO.

- WHY NOT?
- NO NO NO NO.
I DON'T TEACH.

OH, I SEE.

SO YOUR PLAN WAS TO DRAG ME
TO THE ACCOUNTANT

TO SHOW ME HOW MUCH
MONEY WE DON'T HAVE

AND THEN DO ABSOLUTELY
NOTHING ABOUT IT.

YOU WANT ME TO DO
SOMETHING ABOUT IT?

I WILL. I'LL GET
YOUR STUDENTS TO PAY.

- WHAT?
- YOU DON'T WANT
TO ASK THEM, I WILL.

I CAN BE THE BAD COP.
YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?

ASK TIA DELANO.

TIA AND I WERE
WORKING TOGETHER
ON THE CELINE DION SHOW

AND SHE OWED ME $50.
EVERY WEEK SHE SAID
SHE DIDN'T HAVE IT.

SHE HAD ALL THESE EXCUSES
AS TO WHY SHE COULDN'T GET IT.

SHE SPRAINED AN ANKLE, RENT,
KIDNEY, BLAH BLAH BLAH.

I WOUND UP HAVING TO STEAL
HER SHOES AND KEY HER CAR,

BUT THAT WAS
A WHOLE BOYFRIEND THING.

ANYHOW GUESS WHO GOT
HER 50 BUCKS BACK?

AND BOOM!
THAT'S HOW IT'S DONE!

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK YOU'D BE
A VERY GOOD TEACHER.

SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU
OVER THE MUSIC.

- MICHELLE--
- OOH, IT'S A GOOD SONG.

- ( whispers ) DO YOU SEE HIM?
- NO, DO YOU?

- SHH, NOT SO LOUD.
- SORRY.

- ( whispers ) I'M SORRY.
- SIT.

ACT CASUAL.

SO HOW DO I LOOK?

- GOOD.
HOW DO I LOOK?
- GOOD.

- NOT AS GOOD AS ME,
BUT GOOD.
- THANKS.

- SURE.
- WILL YOU TWO PLEASE
STOP ACTING SO OBVIOUS?

WHAT HAPPENED
TO HAVING A BOYFRIEND?

I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

I AM JUST HERE
TO HANG OUT WITH YOU GUYS.

- IN THAT?
- WHAT?

OH THIS?
I'M SEEING JOSH LATER.
THIS IS FOR JOSH.

THIS IS ALL FOR JOSH.

EXCEPT FOR HE ONLY GETS
TO TOUCH 20% OF IT.

- PSHAW.
- Man: HEY, LADIES.

IT'S HIM, 3:00.

OH, HE'S TALLER
AND BETTER-LOOKING
THAN YESTERDAY.

- BASTARD!
- I'M JUST HAPPY HE'S
FINALLY WEARING A SHIRT.

SO WHAT'S THE PLAN?

YEAH, WHAT ARE WE GOING
TO DO BESIDES SIT HERE
AND STARE AT HIM?

WHICH, BY THE WAY, IS EXACTLY
WHAT THAT TABLE OVER THERE
IS ALREADY DOING.

WELCOME
TO THE OYSTER BAR.

HERE ARE YOUR FRENCH FRIES
THAT YOU ORDERED BEFORE
COMING IN.

NOW I'M GOING TO TELL YOU
ABOUT TODAY'S SPECIALS.

BOO, YOU DON'T NEED
TO DO THAT.

WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO START
WITH THE APPETIZERS FIRST?

- NOT REALLY.
- WE CAN'T EVEN AFFORD
THE FREE FRIES.

MY MANAGER'S WATCHING,
SO I AM GOING TO ACT
LIKE YOU ARE ALL

SUPER INTERESTED IN HEARING
EVERY ONE OF TODAY'S
DELICIOUS SPECIALS.

'KAY?
TODAY WE HAVE SHRIMP PARMESAN,

EGGPLANT DIABLO, CLAMS CASINO
AND BLACKENED MAHI MAHI.

HOW ABOUT SOME WATERS
TO GO WITH THE FRIES?

- MMM.
- AND MORE KETCHUP.

COMING RIGHT UP!

- YOU DONE?
- I'M GOOD. THANKS, BRO.

OKAY, WE CAN TAKE
A BREAK FROM STARING.

SO WHAT? WE'RE GONNA
SIT HERE, NOT STARING
UNTIL HE COMES OVER?

'CAUSE THEN I'M NOT SURE
WHAT'S GONNA BRING HIM OVER.

AT LEAST IF WE DO STARE,
THERE'S A CHANCE

HE'LL COME OVER TO TELL US
NOT TO BE SO CREEPY.

I'M JUST HAVING
ONE OF THOSE DAYS THAT
FEELS LIKE A LIFETIME.

EVER HAVE ONE OF THOSE
LIFETIME DAYS FILLED WITH CRAZY
PEOPLE WHO DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE?

- UH--
- WELL--

NOW I DON'T WANT
TO BADMOUTH ANYONE--
LIKE FANNY--

BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE SO CRAZY--
LIKE FANNY--

THAT THEY CAN'T EVEN SEE THAT
THEY NEED TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
FOR THEIR ACTIONS--

LIKE FANNY FANNY FANNY
FANNY FANNY, YOU KNOW?

- WHY ARE YOU
HANGING OUT WITH US?
- 'CAUSE YOU HAVE FRIES.

AND FANNY MAKES ME WANT FRIES--
NO, NEED FRIES.

BELIEVE ME, YOU WOULD BE
WILLING TO HANG OUT WITH KIDS

15 YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU
IF YOU HAD MY LIFE LATELY.

- 20 YEARS YOUNGER.
- LET'S SAY 17 AND SPLIT
THE DIFFERENCE.

MM, THESE ARE SO GOOD.

WHY ARE YOU GUYS ALL DRESSED
FOR A QUINCEANERA?

- WE'RE NOT.
- AND YOU SMELL LIKE ORANGES.

WE HAVE FRUIT IN OUR BAGS.
WE'RE DANCERS, WE EAT FRUIT.

OH, COME ON, YOU CAN TELL ME,
I JUST SHARED.

WAIT, WHAT ARE
YOU LOOKING--

OH HEY, WHAT DO YOU NEED?

AHA.
HELLO, MOONDOGGY!

WOULD YOU STOP
BEING SO OBVIOUS?!
TURN AROUND!

OKAY.
WHO IS HE?

- HIS NAME IS GODOT.
- SO YOU'RE ALL "WAITING
FOR GODOT"?

YOU'RE SO LUCKY
YOU HAVE FRIES.

- HE'S RICO AND NINA'S SON.
- HE'S BACK IN TOWN.

HE'S BEEN GONE FOR MONTHS
TRAVELING THE WORLD TO SURF.

- AND HE'S GORGEOUS.
- ( sniffs )

- OH HI, BOO.
- HOW DID YOU KNOW
IT WAS ME?

- UH, YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE
A DISTINCTIVE... WALK.
- SMELL.

- NO OFFENSE.
- I THOUGHT I BLENDED IN HERE!

SO WHAT'S YOUR ANGLE
WITH THIS GUY?

- WHAT ARE YOUR MOVES?
- WE DON'T REALLY HAVE ANY.

OH, SO YOU NEED ME TO HELP?
COOL.

OKAY, FIRST THING TO KNOW
ABOUT GUYS LIKE THAT

IS KEEP YOUR SENTENCES SHORT.
DON'T MENTION TOLSTOY OR MATH,

IT WILL JUST MAKE YOU SAD.
OH, AND IT REALLY HELPS IF
YOU HAVE A CAR AND AN INCOME,

- 'CAUSE THAT GUY'S GOT NOTHIN'.
- THANKS.

AND HE NEVER WILL.
NO MONEY, NO CAR, NO THOUGHTS
OF MONEY OR A CAR.

TRUST ME, IF THERE'S A SECOND
SET OF SHORTS AT HOME,
YOU'VE HIT THE JACKPOT.

- GOT IT.
- GOOD. OH, AND HE WON'T
START SHOWERING TILL HE'S 30.

OR HE'S BEEN SKUNKED.
DON'T KNOW WHY.
IT'S A THING.

YOUNG PRETTY GUYS LIKE THAT
WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET
OUT OF BATHING.

- JOHNNY DEPP MOVED TO FRANCE.
- COULD YOU PLEASE JUST GO?

OH RIGHT YEAH,
I'M CRAMPING YOUR STYLE.

HERE, I'M GONNA--
I'M JUST GONNA--

ALL RIGHT, SURF'S UP!
ROCK ON!

- WEAR SUNSCREEN.
- LEAVE!

( laughs )

THIS IS STUPID.
I FEEL STUPID.

YOU'RE RIGHT.
WE SHOULD JUST GO.

- WE CAN'T GO.
- WELL THEN, WHAT ARE
WE GONNA DO?

'CAUSE I DON'T WANT
TO JUST KEEP SITTING HERE.

I BET I CAN GET HIM
TO GIVE ME A DRINK.

- YOU CAN NOT.
- JUST WATCH.

( sighs )
WHOOPS.

CAN'T TAKE ME ANYWHERE.

WHAT DO I WANT?

SUCH A GOOD
SELECTION HERE.

THE PLACE
ACROSS THE STREET,

THEY ONLY HAVE HALF
AS MANY BOTTLES AS
THIS PLACE DOES,

MAYBE EVEN FEWER BOTTLES
AT THAT OTHER BAR
I'VE BEEN TO

WHERE THEY HAVE
ALMOST NO BOTTLES

ON THE BOTTLE SHELF.

YOU, HOWEVER,
HAVE A LOT OF BOTTLES.

YEP.

SO DO YOU LIKE
BARTENDING?

DO YOU WANT SOMETHING
FROM THE BAR?

SURE,
I'LL HAVE A, UH, A...

A TEMPLE GRANDIN.

A WHAT?

JUST A CUP OF CHERRIES,
PLEASE.

- GOOD?
- THANKS.

- THOSE ARE CHERRIES.
- I KNOW, RIGHT?

HE'S A LOT OF WORK.

( yelps )

EW.

- ( groans )
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- DUMPSTER JUMPING.
- FOR, LIKE, A CONTEST?

NO.
IT'S PART OF MY JOB.

- WHAT JOB?
- MY JOB.

SO YOU'RE LIKE
THE TRASH-COMPACTOR GIRL
OR SOMETHING?

WAITRESS.

ARE THERE CUSTOMERS
IN THERE?

NO, JUST TRASH.

OKAY, I'M SORRY,
I'M JUST TRYING TO

GRASP THE WHOLE
CONCEPT HERE.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?

- WELL, JEFF SAID--
- ( mimics buzzer )

I'M SORRY.
JEFF MADE YOU DO THAT?

- DOUCHE.
- NO, NO DOUCHE.

- DOUCHEBAG. OUT.
- BUT--

- GET OUT
OF THE TRASH, SENORITA.
- BUT JEFF'S THE SENIOR MANAGER.

THERE IS
NO SENIOR MANAGER

OR JUNIOR MANAGER
OR MANAGER.

THE PARENTS AREN'T
REALLY INTO LABELS. OUT.

RELAX, I'LL HANDLE JEFF--
TELL HIM HARVARD BURNED DOWN
AND WATCH HIM CRY.

- HE'D CRY REALLY HARD.
- YEAH. YOU KNOW ABOUT
TABLE SIX, RIGHT?

- OOH YES.
- OH YEAH.

OOH.
THANKS.

- GNARLY.
- OH YEAH.

- THERE'S A LOT
OF SAUCES IN THERE.
- HERE, WEAR THIS, IT'S CLEAN.

REALLY?
THANKS.

OH MY GOD!
HAVE YOU BEEN HERE ALL DAY?

- YES MA'AM.
- WORKING?

IN THE KITCHEN?
THE SAME KITCHEN I WORK IN?

- WHY?
- 'CAUSE MY SHIRT
SMELLS LIKE HOARDERS,

BUT THIS-- THIS--

SMELLS LIKE A COCONUT
SNICKERDOODLE.

SPEND A YEAR SURFING
CRYSTAL WAVES,

HIKING UP INSANE MOUNTAINS
ABOVE THE CARIBBEAN,

WATCHING DAZZLING
COSTA RICAN SUNSETS--

THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR SMELL.

- COMPLETELY.
- WOW.

WELL, I SHOULD GET
BACK TO WORK,

- BUT THANKS FOR THE SHIRT.
- IT'S ALL JUST FABRIC TO ME.

- BYE.
- BYE.

WEAR DARK GREEN TIGHTS
WITH THE DAISY,

LIGHT GREEN WITH THE TULIP.

NO TRADING!

THEY TRY THAT EVERY YEAR
AND IT NEVER WORKS.

- KIDS.
- YOU SAID IT.

THAT'S A WEEPING WILLOW,
NOT A PEEPING WILLOW, DARLA.

BACK DOWN WHERE IT WAS.

MAKE SURE ALL YOUR FRIENDS
AND FAMILY BUY THEIR
TICKETS SOON.

THE SPRING FLOWER FESTIVAL
IS VERY POPULAR

AND THIS YEAR WE HAVE
THAT FLOWER THAT ONLY
BLOOMS ONCE A YEAR

AND SMELLS TERRIBLE,
TICKETS ARE GOING FAST.

IF YOU NEED ALTERATIONS,

TAKE YOUR COSTUMES
TO SPARKLES.

TRULY IS DOING
FITTINGS EVERY AFTERNOON

FROM 4:00 TO 6:00.

NOW WE'LL NEED EXTRA
REHEARSAL TIME THIS WEEK,

SO ALL ADAGIO CLASSES
WILL BE RUNNING LATE.

EXTRA-LONG CLASSES FOR THE SAME
PRICE AS REGULAR CLASSES?

WOW, WHAT A BARGAIN!
I'LL SAY ONE THING
ABOUT BALANCHINE,

HE NEVER GAVE YOU A BREAK.
CHARGED EIGHT BUCKS
FOR A SANDWICH TOO.

IF YOU HAVE YOUR COSTUMES
AND YOUR INSTRUCTIONS,
YOU CAN GO.

EXCUSE ME A SEC.
THAT'S MY CUE.

OKAY HELLO, PEOPLE,
HELLO HELLO HELLO.
A MOMENT PLEASE!

PLENTY OF TIME LATER TO DISCUSS
HOW ADORABLE LITTLE TIMMY'S
GONNA BE AS A PETUNIA.

AND HE IS. BUT RIGHT NOW
I HAVE SOMETHING ELSE THAT
NEEDS TO BE DISCUSSED.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- BAD COP.

- WHAT?
- CHIKLIS.

HEAR YE,
HEAR YE, HEAR YE...

- Fanny: MICHELLE.
- HOW'S EVERYBODY DOING TONIGHT?

AREN'T THOSE
FLOWER COSTUMES GREAT?
A HAND FOR FANNY.

DOES THIS WOMAN DO
A HELL OF A JOB OR WHAT?

SHE IS DA BOMB
AT MAKING SURE YOUR KIDS
DON'T BOMB, AM I RIGHT?

- PLEASE STOP.
- OKAY, SO AS EVERYONE KNOWS,

THE FIRST OF THE MONTH
IS NEXT WEEK.

AND YOU ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS
ON THE FIRST OF THE MONTH?

WELL, IN MOST
PARTS OF THE WORLD,
PAYMENT IS DUE.

THAT'S RIGHT.
NOW I KNOW IN THE PAST

PARADISE DANCE ACADEMY'S
POLICY ON PAYING HAS BEEN
A LITTLE LAX,

BUT TIMES,
THEY ARE A CHANGIN'.

SO STARTING NOW,
EVERYONE NEEDS TO PAY
FOR LESSONS.

COSTUMES LIKE THESE
DON'T GROW ON TREES.

EVEN THE TREE COSTUMES
DO NOT GROW ON TREES.
WE ARE RUNNING A BUSINESS.

YOU BRING
YOUR KIDS HERE TO LEARN.
YOU WANT THEM TO DANCE?

YOU WANT FAME?
WELL, FAME COSTS.

AND RIGHT HERE'S WHERE
YOU START PAYING.

IN MONEY!
I KNOW YOU THOUGHT I WAS
GOING TO SAY "SWEAT,"

BUT WE DON'T NEED
SWEAT, WE NEED MONEY!
YOU HEAR ME?

THE GRAVY TRAIN IS OVER.

THE BUS OF FREELOADING HAS
REACHED ITS DESTINATION.

IT'S TIME TO GET OFF
AND OPEN A PURSE!

NOTHING, AND I MEAN
NOTHING IN LIFE IS FREE!

YES, OF COURSE
IT'S ALL STILL FREE.

WHAT I MEANT WAS IS, UH,
I'M HEAVILY MEDICATED

AND... YES, FANNY WAS JUST
AS SURPRISED AS ANYBODY.

ANYWAY, SO I'M REALLY SORRY
THAT I MADE LITTLE LUCY CRY

AND I HOPE YOU'LL CONSIDER
BRINGING HER BACK SO SHE CAN
REHEARSE FOR NEXT WEEKEND.

YES, MY DOCTORS
ARE DISCUSSING

A DOSAGE INCREASE
AS WE SPEAK.

- ( phone ringing )
- CAN YOU HOLD ON A SEC?

PARADISE DANCE ACADEMY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR GETTING BACK TO ME, KATIE.

MS. WILLIAMS, OF COURSE.

I JUST WANTED TO APOLOGIZE
FOR GOING INTO YOUR PURSE

AND GRABBING
YOUR WALLET LIKE THAT.
IT WAS MORE FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT

THAN ANYTHING ELSE.
YOU UNDERSTAND.

HAD I ANY IDEA THAT YOU HAD
THAT ARRANGEMENT WITH FANNY...

FOUR MORTGAGES?
WOW, THAT'S A LOT OF MORTGAGE.

OKAY, CAN WE COUNT
ON SEEING PAM SATURDAY?

20 FEET AWAY FROM YOU
AND YOUR FAMILY.

I DO UNDERSTAND.

THANK YOU.

( phones ringing )

HELLO?
HI, MRS. WOO.

YES, I KNOW IT SEEMS LIKE

YOU'RE THE ONLY FAMILY
PAYING FULL PRICE FOR LESSONS,

BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE FANNY
LOVES YOUR GIRLS THE BEST.

YUP YUP, OKAY,
THAT'LL WORK.

SEE YOU SATURDAY.

WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS

I MANAGED TO GET BACK THE BEES,
A TULIP AND ONE WEEPING WILLOW.

THE BAD NEWS--
THE WOO TWINS GET HALF OFF
FOR TWO MONTHS

AND WE HAVE TO BUY
THEIR GAS FOR A YEAR.

HOW PROUD CHIKLIS
MUST BE RIGHT NOW.

- I'M SO SORRY.
- SIX MONTHS OF REHEARSING
FOR THIS SHOW

AND I HAVE
HALF A FLOWER GARDEN
TO DEAL WITH.

I'M SORRY, I'M TRYING, FANNY.
BUT THE SNAPDRAGONS WON'T
EVEN CALL ME BACK

AND THE PUSSY WILLOW'S MOM
IS A SNOT!

YOU BETTER FIGURE SOMETHING OUT,
BECAUSE IF WE DON'T HAVE
ENOUGH PEOPLE FOR THAT SHOW,

- YOU'LL BE WEARING THIS.
- I'M TRYING.

- WHAT'S PLAN "B"?
- I'LL KEEP MAKING CALLS

- UNTIL I HAVE EVERYONE BACK.
- AND THEN WHAT?

- AND THEN I'LL
HAVE EVERYONE BACK.
- THEN WE'RE BACK TO SQUARE ONE.

ACTUALLY, SQUARE -1
SINCE THE WOO TWINS

- ARE NOW HALF OFF.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU WANT ME TO DO.

- I WANT YOU TO SAY
YOU'LL TEACH.
- NO.

I CAN ADD MORE CLASSES,
WE CAN GROW THE BUSINESS.

- I DON'T TEACH.
- YOU'VE NEVER TRIED.

- I DON'T TEACH.
- THEN WHAT DO YOU DO
SINCE LEAVING VEGAS,

EXCEPT SLEEP WITH POSSUMS
AND FILL THE RECYCLE BIN
WITH TRASHY MAGAZINES?

- I HAVE CALLS TO MAKE.
- I'VE SEEN YOU WITH THOSE KIDS,
YOU'RE GOOD.

THERE ARE A LOT
OF GOOD TEACHERS.

THAT DANCE YOU HAD THEM
DO FOR ME?

YOU PUT THAT TOGETHER IN HOURS.
AND THAT NIGHT YOU SHOWED UP
WITH HUBBELL--

- THAT DANCE AUDITION--
YOU'RE A NATURAL.
- SO WHAT?

THEY LIKE YOU.
THEY CONNECT WITH YOU.

I DON'T WANT
THEM TO GET TOO CONNECTED.
I MAY NOT STAY HERE FOREVER.

- THEN TEACH TEMPORARILY.
- I DON'T DO ANYTHING
HALF-ASSED.

- CURRENTLY YOU DON'T
DO ANYTHING AT ALL.
- ENOUGH, FANNY.

- TRY, JUST TRY!
- NO!

NOW I'M SORRY THAT
I SCREWED UP YOUR SHOW

BUT I DON'T TEACH!
YOU TEACH! THAT'S YOU!
NOT ME!

HEY.

- TELL BOO TO HURRY UP.
WE'RE ALREADY LATE.
- YOU'RE NOT COMING IN?

I DON'T FEEL THE NEED
TO SMELL LIKE BURNT
GARBAGE AT THE MOMENT.

- YOU'RE NOT EVEN GOING
TO TURN OFF THE CAR?
- NO. WHY?

IT'S WEIRD.
IT'S LIKE WE'RE
ROBBING THE PLACE.

- BOO COULD'VE BEEN
IN THE CAR BY NOW.
- FINE.

- DON'T ABANDON US HERE.
- I'LL WEIGH MY DECISION
CAREFULLY.

OH, THERE SHE IS.

Godot: BETTINA!

- WHO'S BETTINA?
- THAT'S BOO.

YOU'RE KIDDING.
I THOUGHT HER NAME WAS BOO.

- BOO IS SHORT
FOR BETTINA.
- OH.

HOW IS BOO SHORT
FOR BETTINA?

WHEN DID THOSE TWO
BECOME FRIENDS?

LOOK HOW CLOSE
TO HIM SHE IS--
INCHES.

- SO LUCKY.
- Sasha: YES.

STANDING INCHES
FROM A BARTENDER IS
INCREDIBLY LUCKY.

THERE'S NO OTHER SITUATION
IN THE ENTIRE WORLD WHERE
YOU COULD POSSIBLY DO THAT.

EXCEPT FOR EVERY
HAPPY HOUR IN THE WORLD.
SHE JUST PEAKED.

- THIS IS LIKE A DRIVE-IN MOVIE.
- A REALLY BAD ONE.

YEAH, A REALLY GOOD
BAD DRIVE-IN MOVIE.

GIVE IT A LISTEN,
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.

BUT I'M BETTING A BLOWN MIND
IS COMING YOUR WAY.

- SOUNDS DANGEROUS.
- PEOPLE SAY HE'S THE FATHER
OF SURF MUSIC.

DUDE PRACTICALLY INVENTED
THE REVERB SOUND

- ON THE STRINGS
OF HIS STRATOCASTER.
- AWESOME.

- I'LL GIVE IT LISTEN
THE MINUTE I GET HOME.
- I WANT A FULL REPORT TOMORROW.

AYE AYE, CAPTAIN.

HEY!
READY?

SO WHAT WAS
THAT ALL ABOUT?

- WHAT?
- YOU AND GODOT?

- LOOKED COZY.
- LIKE ALL THAT WAS MISSING
WAS A SLOW JAM.

PLEASE.
HE'S A FRIEND.

- A FRIENDLY FRIEND?
- WE WERE JUST TALKING.

YEAH? WHAT HAPPENED
AFTER YOU USED UP THE 10 WORDS
IN HIS VOCABULARY?

WE WERE TALKING ABOUT MUSIC.
HE GAVE ME THIS CD

- TO LISTEN TO. SEE?
- COOL.

A CD?
THAT'S CURRENT.

HEY...
HOW COME YOU DON'T SMELL?

EVER SINCE
HE GAVE ME HIS SHIRT,

IT'S LIKE I TOTALLY
DON'T SMELL ANYMORE.

IT'S LIKE I HAVE
THIS SMELL FORCE FIELD.

- HE GAVE YOU HIS SHIRT?
- MM-HMM, YEAH.

- WHAT?
- NOTHING.

NICE TARTAR SAUCE
ON YOUR PANTS.

- ( soft rock music playing )
- ( vocalizing )

WELCOME WELCOME, EVERYONE.

AND NOW TO KICK OFF
THE FLOWER SHOW,

THE ADVANCED CLASS
OF THE PARADISE DANCE ACADEMY

WILL PERFORM THEIR
TRIBUTE TO SPRING--

AN ORIGINAL BALLET
THAT TELLS THE STORY

OF NATURE'S STRUGGLE
AGAINST THE FORCES
OF INDUSTRIALISM.

IT'S ENTITLED
"PAPER OR PLASTIC."

I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.

- SO YOU GOT THEM ALL BACK.
- ALL BUT TWO.

I HAD TO PAY
THOSE TWO CONCESSION CHICKS
FIVE BUCKS TO STAND THERE.

- "PAPER OR PLASTIC"?
- MM-HMM.

( music playing )

Fanny: SEE,
IT STARTS WITH NATURE,
FREE AND HAPPY.

THEN THE FORCES
OF EVIL ENTER.

- Michelle:
THE SUPERMARKET CASHIER?
- THAT'S RIGHT.

A FORCE IGNORANT
OF THE EVIL SHE'S DOING,

BLINDED BY MONEY
AND CORRUPTION.

A SUPERMARKET CASHIER
BLINDED BY MONEY?

WHAT SUPERMARKET
DO YOU SHOP IN?

THEN COMES THE MOMENT
THE FATAL QUESTION
IS ASKED...

PAPER

OR PLASTIC?

( laughing )
THIS IS NUTS.

A VICIOUS BATTLE ENSUES.

THE HERO ENTERS.

- THE CANVAS TOTE!
- THE CANVAS TOTE!

I ALWAYS FORGET
THAT CANVAS TOTE.

ITS MOTIVES ARE PURE,

BUT IT'S JUST ONE FORCE
AGAINST AN ARMY

OF NONRENEWABLE
RESOURCES.

THE BATTLE ENDS.
THE DIE IS CAST.

THE CASHIER LOOKS AROUND
AT THE UTTER DESTRUCTION

SHE'S WROUGHT...

AND GOES ON BREAK.

I'M SORRY,
SO NATURE DIES?

YEP.

SO IT'S A HAPPY ENDING?
YOU'RE DIABOLICAL.

- IT IS ONE OF MY BEST.
- THAT WAS AWESOME!

IT WAS.
AND IT WAS FUN--

PUTTING IT TOGETHER,
WORKING WITH THE KIDS.

YOU KNOW,
JUST BECAUSE YOU TEACH,
DOESN'T MEAN IT'S OVER.

FANNY, THAT WAS AMAZING.
YOUR BEST YET.

- THANK YOU, SAL.
- I KNOW. WHEN THE ECOSYSTEM
BROKE DOWN,

- SO DID I.
- I'M GLAD.

SCREW MARTHA GRAHAM!
SCREW HER.

HONEY, GO GET A PRETZEL.

OH, AND I WANT TO THANK YOU
LADIES FOR THE SHOUT OUT.

REALLY BIG OF YOU.

SO THAT MAKES US SQUARE
UNTIL NEXT PAYING SEASON,
RIGHT, SAL?

ABSOLUTELY.

- YOU'RE AN ICE SKATER, RIGHT?
- DON'T LOOK AT MY TUSH.

YOU'VE GOT A LITTLE
OKSANA BAIUL THING
GOING ON.

IT'S CREEPY, SAL.
IT'S CREEPY.

DOES HE REALIZE THAT HE
STILL HASN'T GOTTEN PAID?

NOPE.
AND HE NEVER WILL.