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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:08,269 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 2 00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:13,358 I GOT A CALL ON THE WAY BACK FROM VEGAS. 3 00:00:13,404 --> 00:00:14,754 WELL, YOUR WAY BACK FROM VEGAS, 4 00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:16,187 YOU AND HUBBELL. ANYHOW, 5 00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:17,413 HE CALLED ME AND TOLD ME TO PUT 6 00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:19,632 EVERYTHING IN HER NAME, YOUR NAME-- 7 00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:21,411 THE WILL, THE LAND, THE HOUSE. 8 00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:23,716 HE HAD ME ADD HER TO HIS CAR INSURANCE 9 00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:24,852 AND CREDIT CARD. 10 00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:26,374 I SENT IN A CHANGE OF ADDRESS FORM 11 00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:28,067 AND REREGISTERED HER TO VOTE. 12 00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:30,025 AND SIGNED HER UP FOR A SUBSCRIPTION TO "ROLLING STONE." 13 00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:31,253 STARTS NEXT MONTH. 14 00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:33,212 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 15 00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:34,340 IT CAN'T START THIS MONTH, 16 00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:35,602 BECAUSE WE'RE ALREADY HALF WAY IN. 17 00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:38,394 I UNDERSTAND HOW A MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTION WORKS. 18 00:00:38,429 --> 00:00:40,209 I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MY SON 19 00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:42,087 COULD GIVE AWAY MY HOME. 20 00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,089 HE DID NOT GIVE IT AWAY, 21 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,350 HE JUST PUT IT IN HER NAME. 22 00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,612 MY HOUSE, MY LAND, 23 00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:48,435 MY STUDIO, IN HER NAME? 24 00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:50,533 - YES. - I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 25 00:00:50,572 --> 00:00:52,052 - HELP? - JERRY, 26 00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:54,395 I THINK WHAT FANNY IS TRYING TO SAY IS... 27 00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:57,103 SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND. 28 00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:58,624 - OH, BOY. - AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 29 00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,797 ACTUALLY, THERE'S A GENERAL LACK OF UNDERSTANDING 30 00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:01,893 ON THIS SIDE OF THE TABLE. 31 00:01:03,454 --> 00:01:05,074 I GOT A CALL ON THE WAY BACK FROM VEGAS-- 32 00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:06,278 HUBBELL AND I WERE MARRIED 33 00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:08,587 FOR TWO DAYS. THAT'S IT. 34 00:01:08,633 --> 00:01:10,463 LESS IF YOU COUNT THE TIME I WAS CONSCIOUS, 35 00:01:10,505 --> 00:01:12,195 WHICH WAS BASICALLY FROM VALET PARKING 36 00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:14,116 TO THE NICKEL SLOTS BATHROOM AT WHISKEY PETE'S. 37 00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:16,291 SO WE'RE ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT 16 HOURS, TOPS. 38 00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:18,687 MAYBE WE SHOULD CONTINUE THIS TOMORROW. I MEAN, YOU'RE UPSET. 39 00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:21,300 - I'M EXPLAINING THIS BADLY. - DOES SHE OWN EVERYTHING? 40 00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:25,654 - YES. - YOU'RE EXPLAINING IT JUST FINE. 41 00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:27,654 WHY WOULD HE LEAVE EVERYTHING TO ME? IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. 42 00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:29,646 - YOU WERE HIS WIFE. - FOR SECONDS. 43 00:01:29,698 --> 00:01:32,088 BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ALL HUBBELL EVER WANTED IN LIFE 44 00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:35,395 WAS TO BE MARRIED. HE'S TALKED ABOUT IT SINCE THE FOURTH GRADE. 45 00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:37,363 HE DRESSED UP AS A GROOM FOR HALLOWEEN 46 00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:39,401 EVER YEAR SIX YEARS IN A ROW. 47 00:01:39,447 --> 00:01:41,487 PEOPLE KEPT THINKING HE WAS A WAITER UNTIL HE FINALLY CONVINCED 48 00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:43,146 THAT WEIRD, OLD SHUT-IN LADY DOWN THE STREET 49 00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:44,450 TO GO WITH HIM AS HIS BRIDE. 50 00:01:44,495 --> 00:01:46,495 - SISSY MERKOWSKI. - SISSY MERKOWSKI. 51 00:01:46,541 --> 00:01:48,241 SHE STILL LIVES THERE. 52 00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:50,412 THAT HALLOWEEN WAS THE LAST TIME ANYONE SAW HER. 53 00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:52,678 WHEN IT FINALLY HAPPENED, HE JUST WANTED 54 00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:54,511 TO LET EVERYONE KNOW. 55 00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:57,329 HE WAS SO HAPPY, I NEVER HEARD HIM SO HAPPY. 56 00:01:57,378 --> 00:01:59,158 SO. 57 00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:02,166 HE GOT HIS BRIDE, YOU GET THE HOUSE 58 00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:04,339 AND MY SON HAS THROWN ME OUT ON THE STREET. 59 00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:07,425 - NO. NOT TRUE. - I'LL HAVE TO MOVE IN WITH SISSY MERKOWSKI 60 00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:09,125 AND THE MUMMIFIED CORPSE OF HER MOTHER 61 00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:10,832 WHICH I THINK SHE KEEPS IN THE REFRIGERATOR. 62 00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:12,439 Jerry: FANNY, YOU SHOULDN'T WORRY. 63 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:13,870 YOU'RE COMPLETELY TAKEN CARE OF. 64 00:02:13,916 --> 00:02:15,656 THERE ARE PROVISIONS IN THERE. 65 00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:18,700 THE DANCE STUDIO IS YOURS TO RUN AS LONG AS YOU WANT IT, 66 00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:21,177 AND I'M SURE MICHELLE HAS NO INTENTION 67 00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:23,578 - OF MOVING YOU OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. - NO INTENTION AT ALL. 68 00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:25,281 SEE? SO WHEN YOU LOOK AT IT, NOTHING'S REALLY CHANGED. 69 00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:26,669 EXCEPT NOW EVERYTHING'S IN MICHELLE'S NAME 70 00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:29,581 INSTEAD OF HUBBELL'S. LOOK AT IT THIS WAY. 71 00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:31,407 YOU DIDN'T OWN ANYTHING BEFORE, 72 00:02:31,455 --> 00:02:34,585 SO NOW YOU-- YOU STILL DON'T OWN ANYTHING. 73 00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:35,852 [ mouths ] 74 00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:37,774 YEAH, LOOK. 75 00:02:37,809 --> 00:02:40,679 IT'S AN AWFUL TIME, AND, UM... 76 00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:42,805 I'M SURE YOU BOTH MUST HAVE A MILLION QUESTIONS. 77 00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:45,728 SO WHY DON'T YOU STOP BY MY OFFICE NEXT WEEK 78 00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:47,564 AND, UM, I'LL GO OVER IT AGAIN. 79 00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:49,212 OKAY? 80 00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:52,216 [ cuckoo clocks chiming ] 81 00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:27,209 [ door opens, shuts ] 82 00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:37,998 [ theme music playing ] 83 00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:59,850 - [ clocks chiming ] - OH MY GOD! 84 00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:01,891 - [ clock barking ] - [ groans ] 85 00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:12,815 [ barking continues ] 86 00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:21,697 GOOD DOG. 87 00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:31,532 UGH. 88 00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,716 OH, PRE-WAR. NICE. 89 00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:52,859 ALL RIGHT, WHICH ONE OF YOU FREAKS HAS FOOD? 90 00:04:55,556 --> 00:04:56,986 AND I'M WAITING FOR AN ANSWER. 91 00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,035 NEW LOW. 92 00:05:03,085 --> 00:05:05,955 FOOD, FOOD. NEAREST FOOD. 93 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:08,704 OKAY, I'M SORRY, KID, BUT A SPLIT TOENAIL 94 00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:09,873 IS NOT GONNA CUT IT. 95 00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:11,348 IF IT WERE INFECTED, THEN WE COULD TALK. 96 00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:13,358 BUT IT'S TURNING BLACK AND BLUE. SEE? 97 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:14,840 SERIOUSLY? YOU CALL THAT BLACK AND BLUE? 98 00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:16,489 PSH. CALL ME WHEN YOU GET SOME GLASSES. 99 00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:17,623 OFF THE TREE. 100 00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,445 - WHAT YOU GOT FOR ME? - BUNIONS. 101 00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:20,763 - THERE, THERE... - [ camera clicks ] 102 00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:22,368 - ...AND THERE. - NICE. 103 00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:23,929 OH, YEAH. WE DO BUNIONS GOOD. 104 00:05:23,975 --> 00:05:26,455 IT'S A FAMILY THING. MY MOM HAS BUNIONS 105 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,760 AND SHE TALKS A LOT ABOUT BUNIONS. 106 00:05:28,806 --> 00:05:30,066 AND MENOPAUSE. 107 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:31,462 SHE REALLY NEEDS TO GO ON A DATE. 108 00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:32,765 FOOT HIGHER, PLEASE? 109 00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:34,460 [ camera clicks ] 110 00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:35,938 OH, BEAUTY. REALLY. 111 00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:37,467 OKAY, BOO? 112 00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,771 FIVE BLISTERS, AN INGROWN TOENAIL 113 00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:41,777 AND SOME GENERAL SCABBING 114 00:05:41,819 --> 00:05:44,079 - AND PEELING. - I CAN WORK WITH THAT. 115 00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:46,646 HEY, NICE PICTURES? 116 00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:47,744 IS THIS A NEW INTERNET THING 117 00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:49,042 I'M HAPPY TO BE TOO OLD TO KNOW ABOUT? 118 00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:50,737 WE'RE TAKING PICTURES OF OUR FEET. 119 00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:52,735 YEAH, I GOT THE WHAT, JUST LOOKING FOR THE WHY. 120 00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:53,957 WE'RE HAVING A CONTEST 121 00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:55,955 TO SEE WHOSE ARE THE MOST DISGUSTING. 122 00:05:56,007 --> 00:05:57,747 - AAH. - WE'RE COMPETING WITH SCHOOLS 123 00:05:57,792 --> 00:06:00,102 ALL OVER CALIFORNIA, 'CAUSE THE GROSSER THE FEET-- 124 00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:02,582 THE BETTER THE DANCE STUDIO. I'M WITH YOU. 125 00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:04,063 SAN FRANCISCO LOOKS PRETTY COMPETITIVE. 126 00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:06,502 AH, LA CANADA IS REALLY THE ONE TO BEAT. 127 00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:07,890 UGH, THOSE GIRLS HAVE REVOLTING FEET. 128 00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:09,982 - PLUS THEY HAVE A RINGER. - A RINGER? 129 00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:12,551 YEAH, ONE OF THE GIRLS HAS A SHRUNKEN TOE. 130 00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:14,719 - A WHAT? - Ginny: ALL HER TOES ARE NORMAL SIZED, 131 00:06:14,765 --> 00:06:16,105 EXCEPT FOR THE ONE NEXT TO THE PINKY TOE. 132 00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:18,598 IT'S... THIS BIG. WHICH WOULD BE BAD ENOUGH, 133 00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,419 BUT IT'S NOT EVEN WHERE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE. 134 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,687 - WHERE IS IT? - Ginny: IN THE MIDDLE OF HER FOOT. 135 00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:24,730 WHICH SHOULDN'T EVEN COUNT 'CAUSE THAT'S NOT BALLET, 136 00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:27,735 THAT'S D.N.A. THAT'S COUSIN-MAKING- BABIES TERRITORY. 137 00:06:27,778 --> 00:06:29,428 BUT IT'S SUPER GROSS, SO THEY ALWAYS WIN. 138 00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:31,386 WE'VE COME IN THIRD FOUR TIMES 139 00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:33,964 AND SECOND TWICE, BUT WE'VE NEVER WON. 140 00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,442 HOW ARE YOUR FEET? 141 00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:36,702 IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I'VE BEEN ON POINT. 142 00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:38,014 - SORRY. - OH, THAT'S TOO BAD. 143 00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:39,139 PROFESSIONAL GROSS FOOT WOULD REALLY PUT US 144 00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:40,841 OVER THE TOP. HEY, BOO. 145 00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:42,788 THAT BLISTER WOULD BE A LOT MORE DISGUSTING IF IT POPPED. 146 00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:43,927 OH, RIGHT. 147 00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:45,578 ALL RIGHT, WELL, GOOD LUCK. GAH. 148 00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:47,762 OKAY. YEAH. TEXT ME WITH THE WINNER. 149 00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:49,798 OKAY, WE WILL. 150 00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:51,894 - YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU MY NUMBER? - OH, WE HAVE YOUR NUMBER. 151 00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:53,853 - YOU DO? - EVERYBODY HAS YOUR NUMBER. 152 00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:54,981 - REALLY? - YEP. 153 00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:57,113 THORNTON WILDER SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED 154 00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,715 THE CREEPY SIDE OF SMALL TOWN LIFE. 155 00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:00,986 - WHO? - NO ONE. HE WAS IN MENUDO. 156 00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:02,859 - WHO? - I'M GONNA GO BE OLD NOW. 157 00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:03,860 OKAY, BYE. 158 00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:05,641 MY BIG TOENAIL JUST CAME OFF! 159 00:07:05,686 --> 00:07:07,036 MY BIG TOENAIL JUST CAME OFF. 160 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:09,861 YES! SUCK IT, LA CANADA. 161 00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:13,216 SO. 162 00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:16,035 WHO KNEW THE GAS STATION 163 00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:18,477 ALSO HAS A FINE BAKERY SECTION. 164 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,785 WELL, IT DOES. SO I GOT US SOME BREAKFAST, 165 00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:21,961 AND NOW I'M GONNA MAKE US SOME COFFEE 166 00:07:22,006 --> 00:07:23,436 THAT ISN'T COMPLETELY SEE THROUGH. 167 00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:25,046 I'M SORRY, I DON'T EAT BREAKFAST. 168 00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:28,576 HOLD THAT DECISION UNTIL YOU SEE WHAT I BOUGHT. 169 00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:30,582 SCONES. HUH? 170 00:07:30,624 --> 00:07:31,714 FEELING THE "DOWNTOWN ABBEY"? 171 00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:33,575 NOW HERE'S THE THING I DON'T UNDERSTAND 172 00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:35,187 ABOUT SCONES-- ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO BE HARD? 173 00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:36,497 I MEAN, LIKE, THIS HARD? 174 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:37,673 BECAUSE THIS ONE'S LIKE A ROCK 175 00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:39,498 WITH WEIRD TEENY-TINY RAISINS IN IT. 176 00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:41,026 - CURRANTS. - EXCUSE ME? 177 00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:43,549 THE SMALL RAISINS ARE CALLED CURRANTS. 178 00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:46,506 OH, YOU'RE A TEA PERSON. 179 00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:48,563 THAT EXPLAINS THE EXTENSIVE SCONE KNOWLEDGE. 180 00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,598 I'M SORRY? 181 00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:51,994 OH, THE KETTLE. 182 00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:54,076 YES. I'LL EXPLAIN. 183 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,205 THIS TEA KETTLE ACTUALLY CAME WITH THE HOUSE. 184 00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:57,828 IT WAS UNDER THE SINK WHEN WE MOVED IN. 185 00:07:57,868 --> 00:07:59,168 SO IT BELONGED TO THE PEOPLE WHO LIVED HERE 186 00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:00,517 BEFORE WE DID, SO I FIGURED 187 00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:01,787 IT WAS LEGAL TO USE. 188 00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:03,789 - LEGAL? - NOW THAT ONE. 189 00:08:03,831 --> 00:08:05,221 THE SHINY, NEW, CLEAN ONE, 190 00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:06,787 OF COURSE IS YOURS NOW. 191 00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:09,054 - OH, BOY. - THIS ONE IS A BIT RUSTY, 192 00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,617 AND THERE DO SEEM TO BE SOME HOLES 193 00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:11,844 AROUND THE SIDE HERE. 194 00:08:11,882 --> 00:08:13,672 BUT I FIGURE IF I DON'T FILL IT TOO FULL 195 00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:16,190 AND I STOP IT BEFORE IT COMPLETELY BOILS, 196 00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:18,114 I MIGHT BE ABLE TO ALMOST HAVE ENOUGH 197 00:08:18,149 --> 00:08:20,239 - FOR A SINGLE CUP OF TEA. - PLEASE STOP. 198 00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:22,722 NOW, WATER-- 199 00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:24,503 WATER COULD BE A PROBLEM. 200 00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,197 BECAUSE THE PIPES ARE YOURS, 201 00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:27,514 THE SINK IS YOURS 202 00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:29,250 AND THE FAUCET IS YOURS. 203 00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:31,691 I GUESS I COULD TAP INTO THE COUNTY WELL WATER, 204 00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:33,858 OR MAYBE TAKE A BUCKET OUT TO THE AQUEDUCT, 205 00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:35,124 OR THERE'S POND WATER, 206 00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:36,906 OR THAT POTHOLE 207 00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:38,651 ON HIGHWAY THREE SHOULD STILL HAVE 208 00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:40,562 SOME RAINWATER IN IT FROM THE OTHER NIGHT. 209 00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:41,647 MAYBE I COULD BUILD A FIRE 210 00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:42,955 AND BOIL THE INSECTS OUT. 211 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,520 I SHOULD SIT, RIGHT? 212 00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:48,697 NOW, AS SOMEONE WHO HAS NEVER OWNED ANYTHING, 213 00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:50,265 I SHOULD HAVE HAD A PLAN FOR THIS. 214 00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:51,712 I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS WOULD HAPPEN. 215 00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:52,748 I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT THROUGH. 216 00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,583 - I APOLOGIZE. - GOOD. 217 00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,231 I WILL FIGURE ALL THIS OUT VERY SOON. 218 00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:57,674 BUT IN THE MEANTIME, 219 00:08:57,711 --> 00:08:59,151 I WOULD REALLY LIKE 220 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,240 A PARTIAL CUP OF RUSTY TEA. 221 00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:03,929 SO HOW ABOUT, JUST FOR TODAY, 222 00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:05,548 IN EXCHANGE FOR THE WATER 223 00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,938 - I GIVE YOU A DIME? - NO. 224 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,290 ALL RIGHT, A QUARTER. 225 00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:12,943 NOW. 226 00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:15,077 A MUG, A MUG, A MUG. 227 00:09:15,119 --> 00:09:16,289 FANNY PLEASE JUST TAKE A MUG. 228 00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:18,858 HUBBELL MADE THIS FOR ME 229 00:09:18,906 --> 00:09:20,596 WHEN HE WAS SIX. 230 00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:21,997 OF COURSE IT'S TOXIC 231 00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:24,909 AND CONTAINS LEAD PAINT, BUT IT WAS A GIFT. 232 00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:26,565 AND HERE'S WHERE I'M CONFUSED-- 233 00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,309 ARE GIFTS YOURS, TOO? 234 00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,740 SHOULD WE CALL THE LAWYER BEFORE I POUR MY TEA? 235 00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:32,657 FANNY, CAN WE PLEASE JUST TALK ABOUT THIS? 236 00:09:32,702 --> 00:09:34,922 - TALK ABOUT WHAT? THE FACT IT I'M HOMELESS? - YOU'RE NOT HOMELESS. 237 00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:37,135 - TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT I'M JOBLESS? - YOU'RE NOT JOBLESS! 238 00:09:37,185 --> 00:09:38,925 AS OF TODAY, YOU OWN THE BALLET SCHOOL. 239 00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:41,099 NO, YOU OWN THE SCHOOL. I JUST OWN THE BUILDING 240 00:09:41,145 --> 00:09:42,795 AND THE LAND THE SCHOOL IS SITTING ON. 241 00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:45,282 I DIDN'T MEAN THAT. 242 00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:47,983 IT'S TRUE. WHY NOT SAY IT? 243 00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:50,892 MY SON HAS THROWN ME OUT INTO THE COLD. 244 00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:53,638 HE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE PUT ME ON AN ICEBERG AND PUSHED ME OUT TO SEA. 245 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,940 THAT'S RIDICULOUS. WE'RE MILES FROM THE NEAREST ICEBERG. 246 00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:58,994 HOW COCKY BEING LAND RICH HAS MADE YOU. 247 00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:01,913 FANNY, HUBBELL LOVE YOU. YOU KNOW THAT. 248 00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:03,989 I MEAN, THE MAN LIVED WITH YOU FOR 48 YEARS. 249 00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:06,338 THAT'S LOVE. IT'S BORDERLINE PSYCHOTIC, BUT IT'S LOVE. 250 00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:07,958 THINK ABOUT IT, FANNY. 251 00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:09,648 PEOPLE DON'T EXPECT TO PASS AWAY 252 00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:11,216 BEFORE THEIR PARENTS. IT'S NOT NATURAL. 253 00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:13,962 HUBBELL OBVIOUSLY ASSUMED, BY THE TIME HE-- 254 00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:16,144 YOU KNOW, THAT YOU WOULD ALREADY BE... 255 00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:17,660 DEAD? 256 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,314 NO. 257 00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:21,837 I MEAN, WELL... YOU ARE-- 258 00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:24,362 - OLD? - NO! I MEAN-- 259 00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:26,666 WELL, YEAH, COMPARATIVELY SPEAKING. 260 00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,323 THIS WAS NOT MY IDEA! 261 00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:30,146 I NEVER WANTED ALL OF THIS. 262 00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:32,284 I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXISTED WHEN I GOT MARRIED. 263 00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:34,627 WELL, THAT'S NICE. I FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW. 264 00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:36,327 OH, YOU'RE SO EXHAUSTING. 265 00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:38,864 WE OLD PEOPLE USUALLY ARE. 266 00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:40,859 YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T WANT TEA. 267 00:10:40,901 --> 00:10:42,821 TAKE THE MUG. TAKE THE POT. 268 00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:44,119 I HAVE A CLASS TO TEACH. 269 00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:52,652 [ students chattering ] 270 00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:54,865 - HI. - JEEZ. 271 00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:57,045 DON'T EVER SNEAK UP ON SOMEONE READING THE WORDS 272 00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:58,701 "AMIDST A BLOODY AFTERMATH." 273 00:10:58,745 --> 00:10:59,695 OH, SORRY. 274 00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:00,826 PICK A HAND. 275 00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,137 THAT ONE. 276 00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:03,883 - FOR YOU. - A SNOOD. 277 00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:05,014 SO COOL. 278 00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,395 I MADE IT FOR THE JOFFREY AUDITIONS. 279 00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:07,748 IT'S LUCKY. 280 00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,837 OOH. A LUCKY SNOOD. 281 00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:11,446 YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO DANCE NOW. 282 00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:14,764 IT'S PERFECT. I LOVE IT. 283 00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:16,114 - PUT IT ON? - YEP. 284 00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:26,250 - YOU GUYS CAN SIT THERE. - Boy: SO HOW LONG IS THIS THING? 285 00:11:26,294 --> 00:11:28,124 MY CLASS IS AN HOUR AND A HALF. 286 00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:29,725 - SERIOUSLY? - OH MY GOD. 287 00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:31,296 HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU DRIVEN ME TO BALLET CLASS? 288 00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:32,782 Boy: I KNOW, BUT IT USED TO BE SHORTER. 289 00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:34,912 - IT WAS NEVER SHORTER. - YOU SAID IT WAS SHORTER. 290 00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:36,385 LAST MONTH IT WAS TOTALLY SHORTER. 291 00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:37,744 NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF EXISTING 292 00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:39,524 HAS IT EVER BEEN SHORTER THAN IT IS NOW. 293 00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:42,308 - WE'RE MEETING BUD AND MELON AT 6:00. - MY CLASS IS TILL 6:30. 294 00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:44,363 - Boy 2: NOT GONNA WORK. - Boy: WE'RE MEETING THEM AT 6:00. 295 00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:47,359 - THAT'S A LOT OF MIRRORS. - IT'S A BALLET STUDIO, GENIUS. 296 00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:49,712 - JUST DUCK OUT EARLY. - YEAH, BEFORE THE SWAN DIES. 297 00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:52,277 WHAT? I'M NOT A BARBARIAN. 298 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,760 - I'M NOT DUCKING OUT EARLY. - THEN BAIL NOW. 299 00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:55,761 NO. 300 00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,462 DUDE, HANDLE THIS. SHE'S EIGHT. 301 00:11:57,499 --> 00:12:00,759 HEY, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HAD TO HAVE YOUR "RISKY BUSINESS" MOMENT 302 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,287 WHEN MOM AND DAD WENT TO TAHOE. 303 00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:05,120 SO UNTIL THEY SAY OTHERWISE, I OWN YOU. 304 00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:06,899 I COULD MAKE YOU DRESS UP LIKE ANTHONY HOPKINS 305 00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:08,473 IN "REMAINS OF THE DAY" AND SERVE ME TEA, 306 00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:10,160 BUT INSTEAD ALL YOU HAVE TO DO 307 00:12:10,207 --> 00:12:12,167 IS SIT ON YOUR BUTT AND WATCH A ROOM FULL OF GIRLS 308 00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:13,819 JUMP AROUND UNTIL SIX-FRICKEN-30. 309 00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,213 BUT WE'RE MEETING AT 6:00. 310 00:12:15,256 --> 00:12:16,466 HELLO, MOM? 311 00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:18,518 FINE. WE'RE HERE. GO SPIN. 312 00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:22,003 MELANIE! 313 00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:25,785 [ whispers ] WHY IS YOUR BROTHER HERE? 314 00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:26,832 [ mouths ] 315 00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:31,364 WHY IS CHARLIE HERE? 316 00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:33,012 [ mouths ] 317 00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:36,194 WHY IS CHAR-- 318 00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:39,113 OH, NEVER MIND. I'M COMING DOWN. 319 00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:46,288 ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE, PLACES AT THE BARRE. 320 00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,505 WHAT IS YOUR BROTHER DOING HERE? 321 00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:52,342 OUR PARENTS CAUGHT HIM WITH BEER ON HIS BREATH LAST WEEKEND, 322 00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:54,510 AND DRIVING ME EVERYWHERE I WANT IS HIS PUNISHMENT. 323 00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:56,036 WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE ME A HEADS UP? 324 00:12:56,079 --> 00:12:57,859 - WHAT FOR? - SO I COULD... 325 00:12:57,907 --> 00:13:00,127 YOU KNOW, DO STUFF TO MYSELF. 326 00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:03,090 - LIKE WHAT? - I DON'T KNOW-- MAKE-UP, 327 00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:06,350 DIFFERENT LEOTARD, BAG OVER MY HEAD. 328 00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:09,964 I CAN WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE ALL DONE TALKING IF YOU LIKE. 329 00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:11,266 THANK YOU. 330 00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:13,362 - [ piano music playing ] - PLIES. 331 00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:17,061 AND DEMI AND STRAIGHT. 332 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,230 DEMI AND STRAIGHT. 333 00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:20,576 AND GRAND. 334 00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:26,072 VERY SUBTLE, BOO. 335 00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:39,468 - HELLO. - HI THERE. 336 00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:41,304 I'M CLAIRE. I'M GINNY'S MOM. 337 00:13:41,342 --> 00:13:43,562 WE MET LAST NIGHT, BUT I'M JUST SURE IT WAS A BIG BLUR 338 00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:45,035 - FOR YOU. - RIGHT. CLAIRE. 339 00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:46,515 GINNY'S MOM. YES, HI. 340 00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:48,444 I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH SHE TALKS ABOUT YOU, 341 00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:50,869 ABOUT YOUR CAREER AS A SHOWGIRL IN VEGAS. 342 00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:53,567 - I HAVE TO ADMIT, I'M A LITTLE JEALOUS. - OH, WELL, DON'T BE. 343 00:13:53,615 --> 00:13:55,875 I JUST WANTED TO OFFER MY CONDOLENCES AGAIN. 344 00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:58,232 - HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP? - UM. 345 00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,012 OF COURSE. HOW COULD YOU BE HOLDING UP? 346 00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,316 I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, 347 00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:02,892 I'M HERE FOR YOU IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, 348 00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:05,239 ANYTHING AT ALL. AND I BROUGHT MY FAMOUS 349 00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:07,239 TACO-IN-A-BAG CASSEROLE. 350 00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:08,501 TACO-IN-A-BAG? 351 00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:10,243 OH, IT'S AN OLD GIRL SCOUT DISH. 352 00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:11,894 EVERY CAMPER GETS A BAG OF CHIPS, 353 00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:13,938 THEY PUT IN THEIR FAVORITE TACO FIXINGS, 354 00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:15,123 THEY CRUNCH IT ALL UP, 355 00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:18,508 AND VOILA. YOU GOT TACO IN A BAG. 356 00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:20,033 IT LOOKS REVOLTING, 357 00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:21,336 BUT IT TASTES LIKE HEAVEN. 358 00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:22,912 OH, AND IT'S TERRIBLE FOR YOU. 359 00:14:22,949 --> 00:14:24,339 PERFECT. 360 00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:25,645 I'LL POP THIS IN THE FRIDGE. 361 00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:30,608 - OH, VERY SAD SELECTION. - YEAH, THE BEST ONES WERE EATEN 362 00:14:30,652 --> 00:14:32,922 AT THE MEMORIAL THE OTHER NIGHT. THESE ARE THE REJECTS. 363 00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:34,919 ANYWAY, I'LL GET OUT OF YOUR HAIR. 364 00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:36,441 JUST CALL ME IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU. 365 00:14:36,484 --> 00:14:38,534 - I WILL. - YOU KNOW, THE DAY I LOST MY HUSBAND 366 00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:40,533 WAS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. 367 00:14:40,575 --> 00:14:42,135 OF COURSE I LOST HIM TO THE DIVORCEE 368 00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:44,265 IN THE JEGGINGS ACROSS THE STREET 369 00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:45,358 AND NOT IN A CAR ACCIDENT, 370 00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:47,316 BUT IT STILL HURT. 371 00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:48,934 - I'M SURE. - BUT YOU. 372 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,925 YOU POOR THING. 373 00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,197 HUBBELL DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE YOU, 374 00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:54,109 NOT THE WAY GIL LEFT ME. 375 00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:55,554 YOU WERE STILL NEWLYWEDS, 376 00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:56,630 STILL IN LOVE. 377 00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:58,158 AND NOW YOU'RE HERE IN A NEW TOWN, 378 00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:00,331 IN A STRANGE HOUSE, ALL ALONE. 379 00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:03,947 - MUST BE OVERWHELMING. - I THINK I'M STILL IN THE NUMB PHASE. 380 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,640 OVERWHELMING IS PROBABLY ON THE WAY. 381 00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:06,727 AND ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE, 382 00:15:06,775 --> 00:15:08,295 TO BE BURDENED DOWN WITH ALL THIS, 383 00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:10,562 - I CAN'T IMAGINE. - ALL OF WHAT? 384 00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:14,125 - ALL THIS. - OH, WELL, THIS IS FANNY'S STUFF. 385 00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:15,924 SHE LIKES THINGS THAT STARE. 386 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,178 OH, NO, SWEETIE, I DON'T MEAN THAT. 387 00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:18,660 I MEAN ALL OF THIS-- 388 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,010 THE HOUSE, THE LAND. 389 00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:23,180 OH, WOW. NEWS TRAVELS FAST. 390 00:15:23,226 --> 00:15:25,486 AROUND HERE, LIKE A BULLET TRAIN. 391 00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:28,283 - YOU EVER OWN LAND BEFORE? - I'VE NEVER OWNED ANYTHING BEFORE. 392 00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:30,408 I STILL HAVE A LEATHER JACKET ON LAYAWAY AT THE FORUM SHOPS. 393 00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:32,671 OH, IT'S A BIG RESPONSIBILITY. 394 00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:35,594 THE UPKEEP-- IT'S ENOUGH TO MAKE YOUR HEAD SPIN. 395 00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,550 ANYHOW, IF YOU SHOULD DECIDE 396 00:15:37,588 --> 00:15:40,288 THAT THIS IS ALL JUST TOO MUCH FOR YOU, 397 00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:41,720 YOU COULD GIVE ME A CALL. 398 00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:46,416 GIVE YOU A CALL TO DO? 399 00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:49,509 YOU'RE A REAL ESTATE AGENT? 400 00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:52,467 TOP SALESPERSON THREE YEARS RUNNING. 401 00:15:52,516 --> 00:15:54,336 USED TO BE PART TIME, 402 00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,128 AND THEN GIL RAN OFF WITH THAT WHORE 403 00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:58,612 WHO REFUSED TO BRING HER BARRELS IN IN THE MORNING. 404 00:15:58,653 --> 00:16:00,183 THAT'S HOW SHE HOOKED HIM. 405 00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,610 FINALLY OFFERED TO BRING THEM IN FOR HER, 406 00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:04,567 AND IT WAS ALL OVER. 407 00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:06,435 TRASH! HOOKED HIM WITH TRASH. 408 00:16:06,487 --> 00:16:08,137 YOU'RE GETTING OVER IT VERY WELL. 409 00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:10,494 I KNOW. BUT IF YOU EVER DECIDE 410 00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:12,544 THAT YOU WANT TO SELL THIS PLACE, 411 00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:15,710 I KNOW I COULD GET YOU A REALLY GOOD PRICE 412 00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:17,627 OH, AND I HAVE THE MOST ADORABLE 413 00:16:17,672 --> 00:16:19,242 BEACH CONDOS THAT ARE JUST PERFECT 414 00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:21,202 FOR A SINGLE GIRL LIKE YOURSELF 415 00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:23,031 BECAUSE ANY WAY YOU SLICE IT, 416 00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:25,199 SEVEN ACRES IS A LOT. 417 00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:27,195 UH-- I'M SORRY, HOW MANY ACRES? 418 00:16:28,683 --> 00:16:32,343 HUBBELL BOUGHT THE PLACE AND WAS SLOWLY FIXING IT UP. 419 00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,432 HE GOT TO THE HOUSE, THE STUDIO 420 00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:36,651 AND A COUPLE OF THE OTHER STRUCTURES, 421 00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:38,431 - YOU SEE THESE TREES? - YES. 422 00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:40,995 THEY ARE IN DESPERATE NEED OF SOME THINNING. 423 00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:42,613 YOU SHOULD TAKE SOME OUT. 424 00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:45,053 - THEY'RE TOO CROWDED. - INTIMACY ISSUES? 425 00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:48,091 THEY'RE GONNA LEAD TO A SQUIRREL POPULATION EXPLOSION. 426 00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:49,617 HUBBELL WAS GONNA TAKE CARE OF THAT 427 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,270 LAST YEAR, BUT NEVER WENT THROUGH WITH IT. 428 00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:53,274 I THINK THE PRICE PROBABLY SCARED HIM OFF. 429 00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,276 WONDER IF HE EVER TOOK CARE OF THAT ROOT ROT. 430 00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:57,408 OH, SO HOW MUCH WOULD IT COST TO THIN THE TREES 431 00:16:57,451 --> 00:16:58,761 SO THE SQUIRRELS DON'T EXPLODE? 432 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,060 30 TO 40, DEPENDING ON HOW MANY TREES YOU HAVE, 433 00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:02,757 AND YOU HAVE A LOT OF TREES. 434 00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:04,414 $40,000? 435 00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:06,198 HOW'S YOUR DRAINAGE? 436 00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:08,242 - DO YOU KNOW? - NO. 437 00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:09,508 YOU SHOULD FIND OUT. 438 00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:11,160 PLUS YOU SHOULD HAVE THAT LAKE DREDGED, 439 00:17:11,204 --> 00:17:12,164 IT'S BEEN AWHILE. 440 00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:13,465 I HAVE A LAKE? 441 00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:16,040 YOU HAVE ONE LAKE AND TWO SWAMPY PONDS. 442 00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:18,248 PLUS GEESE WHICH MEANS GOOSE POOP. 443 00:17:18,298 --> 00:17:20,428 [ sniffs ] 444 00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:22,654 WHAT? WHAT IS IT? 445 00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:24,393 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT'S DOWN THERE? 446 00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:25,704 WHAT'S THE STATUS OF YOUR SEPTIC TANK? 447 00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:26,780 MY...? 448 00:17:26,828 --> 00:17:28,658 WE'RE NOT ON A SEWER SYSTEM OUT HERE. 449 00:17:28,699 --> 00:17:30,089 YOU HAVE A SEPTIC SYSTEM. 450 00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:31,616 OH, OKAY. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN EXACTLY? 451 00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:33,099 IT MEANS ALL YOUR HOUSEHOLD WASTE 452 00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,529 IS PIPED INTO THE GROUND BEHIND YOUR HOUSE 453 00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:35,525 AND IT STAYS THERE. 454 00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:36,656 - WHAT? - SO YOU HAVE TO 455 00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:38,537 HAVE A COMPANY COME OUT AND SERVICE IT. 456 00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:40,709 - SERVICE IT? - SUCK IT OUT. 457 00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:41,795 GOOD LORD. 458 00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:42,803 DO YOU KNOW YOUR SERVICE SCHEDULE? 459 00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:44,114 - NO. - THAT'S OKAY. 460 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,330 YOU'LL KNOW WHEN YOU NEED 461 00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,458 - TO HAVE THEM OUT. - HOW? 462 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:47,810 HOW WILL I KNOW WHEN TO HAVE THE MEN 463 00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:49,239 WITH THE TUBES COME SUCK THE WASTE 464 00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:50,495 OUT OF THE GROUND? 465 00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:51,547 YOU'LL SMELL IT. 466 00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:52,642 OH, SURE. 467 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,290 AND YOU'LL FEEL IT. 468 00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:55,474 GREAT. 469 00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:56,809 IT'S A LOT, I KNOW. 470 00:17:56,858 --> 00:17:58,248 - MM-HMM. - AND FANNY'S REALLY 471 00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:00,344 NO HELP WITH THIS BECAUSE SHE'S AN ARTIST. 472 00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:02,819 I GOT VISUALS. 473 00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:04,694 ALL SORTS OF VISUALS. 474 00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:14,142 WHAT'S THIS? THE VOMITORIUM? 475 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:15,400 [ chuckles ] 476 00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:20,137 OH, WOW. SO PRETTY. 477 00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:21,796 Claire: THAT WAS HUBBELL'S. 478 00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:22,799 Michelle: REALLY? 479 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,760 HE REBUILT IT ENTIRELY FROM PIECES 480 00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:26,759 HE TRACKED DOWN ON THE INTERNET. 481 00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:29,718 HE WOULD DRIVE IT IN THE 4th OF JULY PARADE 482 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,850 EVERY YEAR IF HE WAS IN TOWN. 483 00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:34,853 THAT CAR WAS HIS PRIDE AND JOY. 484 00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:36,456 BUT THE VOLVO. 485 00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:38,506 OH, THAT WAS FOR WORK. 486 00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:39,812 THIS WAS FOR LOVE. 487 00:18:41,337 --> 00:18:44,777 [ piano music playing ] 488 00:19:21,812 --> 00:19:23,902 WHO KNEW THE SEPTIC SYSTEM WOULDN'T BE THE WORST THING 489 00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:25,895 - YOU TOLD ME TODAY. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! 490 00:19:25,947 --> 00:19:27,377 AH! MY GOD, YOU SCARED ME. 491 00:19:27,427 --> 00:19:28,727 CLAIRE WAS JUST TELLING ME 492 00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:30,336 HOW IF SOMEONE IS BITTEN ON YOUR PROPERTY 493 00:19:30,386 --> 00:19:31,556 BY A RABID ANIMAL, THEY CAN SUE 494 00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:32,645 IF THEY DON'T DIE. 495 00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:34,563 IF THEY DO DIE, THE FAMILY CAN SUE. 496 00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:35,608 WE NEED UMBRELLA INSURANCE. 497 00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:36,652 DO WE HAVE IT? 'CAUSE WE NEED IT. 498 00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:37,737 YOU'RE SELLING? 499 00:19:37,785 --> 00:19:38,735 WHAT? 500 00:19:38,786 --> 00:19:40,216 MY HOME. MY LIVELIHOOD. 501 00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:41,876 ALL I HAVE LEFT IN THIS WORLD? 502 00:19:41,919 --> 00:19:42,919 WHAT? NO, NO. I-- 503 00:19:42,964 --> 00:19:43,924 ARE YOU THROWING IN THE MUG 504 00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:44,915 AND THE RUSTY TEA KETTLE 505 00:19:44,966 --> 00:19:46,266 FOR AN ALL-CASH OFFER? 506 00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:47,355 NO, I JUST-- 507 00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:48,713 THEN WHAT'S SHE DOING HERE? 508 00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:51,232 WELL, SHE SHOWED UP WITH THE BAG FOOD THING-- 509 00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:52,837 YOU CALLED HER HERE? 510 00:19:52,887 --> 00:19:54,407 YOU CALLED HER HERE TO SELL MY HOUSE? 511 00:19:54,454 --> 00:19:57,464 OKAY, I'M JUST GONNA LEAVE YOU TWO LADIES TO IT. 512 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:58,810 YOU HAVE MY MAGNET. 513 00:20:00,808 --> 00:20:01,978 SHE GAVE YOU A MAGNET? 514 00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:03,416 I DID NOT TELL HER I WAS SELLING YOUR HOUSE. 515 00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:04,423 YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL HER. 516 00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:05,644 NO ONE TELLS CLAIR ANYTHING. 517 00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:06,642 SHE GAVE YOU A MAGNET. 518 00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:07,773 IT'S SOLD. LET'S GET BOXES. 519 00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:09,245 FANNY, PLEASE CALM DOWN. 520 00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:10,945 I HAVE LIVED IN THIS TOWN FOR OVER 40 YEARS. 521 00:20:10,992 --> 00:20:12,342 DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT'S LIKE? 522 00:20:12,385 --> 00:20:13,335 OF COURSE NOT. 523 00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:14,426 WELL, I'M NOT A GYPSY, FANNY. 524 00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:15,434 I DIDN'T TRAVEL WITH THE CIRCUS. 525 00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:16,685 THIS IS MY HOME. 526 00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:18,257 MY HOME. NOT YOURS. 527 00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:19,574 YOU KNOW, I'M TRYING, FANNY. 528 00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:21,389 I'M TRYING HARD. I BROUGHT YOU SCONES. 529 00:20:21,437 --> 00:20:22,477 FROM A GAS STATION. 530 00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:23,825 IT HAD A PASTRY SECTION. 531 00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:24,964 AND I'M NEW AROUND HERE, 532 00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:26,436 WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME? 533 00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:28,436 I WANT YOU TO LEAVE MY HOUSE ALONE. 534 00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:29,878 - FINE. - YOU'RE NOT WANTED. 535 00:20:29,924 --> 00:20:31,714 - GOT IT. - YOU'RE AN INTERLOPER. 536 00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:32,842 DULY NOTED! 537 00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:46,977 [ pop music playing ] 538 00:20:47,028 --> 00:20:49,288 ♪ HEY 539 00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:50,945 ♪ HEY 540 00:20:54,731 --> 00:20:56,731 ♪ HEY 541 00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:58,387 ♪ HEY. 542 00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:02,874 [ engine sputters ] 543 00:21:19,060 --> 00:21:22,060 [ piano music playing ] 544 00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:25,940 HEY, BOO. 545 00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:27,330 YOU SHOULD GO UP FRONT TODAY. 546 00:21:27,373 --> 00:21:28,333 WHAT? NO. 547 00:21:28,374 --> 00:21:29,464 COME ON. 548 00:21:29,505 --> 00:21:30,675 I DON'T STAND IN THE FRONT, MELANIE. 549 00:21:30,724 --> 00:21:33,344 - EVER. - WELL, YOU SHOULD TODAY, 550 00:21:33,379 --> 00:21:35,469 SO YOU CAN DANCE IN FRONT OF MY BROTHER. 551 00:21:35,511 --> 00:21:37,601 - Boo: NUH-UH. - BOO, YOU HAVE TO. 552 00:21:37,644 --> 00:21:39,344 CHARLIE WILL NEVER SEE YOU BACK HERE. 553 00:21:39,385 --> 00:21:40,515 IF CHARLIE WANTS TO NOTICE ME, 554 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:41,740 HE CAN NOTICE ME BACK HERE, 555 00:21:41,778 --> 00:21:42,738 IN THE BACK. 556 00:21:42,779 --> 00:21:44,129 HE'S NOT THAT OBSERVANT. 557 00:21:44,172 --> 00:21:46,042 ONE TIME HE FELL ASLEEP WITH AN EGG SALAD SANDWICH 558 00:21:46,087 --> 00:21:47,037 IN HIS BED. 559 00:21:47,088 --> 00:21:48,518 OUR MOM FOUND IT A WEEK LATER 560 00:21:48,568 --> 00:21:49,568 WHEN THE SMELL FINALLY LEAKED OUT 561 00:21:49,612 --> 00:21:50,792 INTO THE HALLWAY. 562 00:21:50,831 --> 00:21:52,051 THAT'S NOT TRUE. 563 00:21:52,093 --> 00:21:53,093 IT'S SO TRUE. 564 00:21:53,137 --> 00:21:54,747 HE'S A MORON. BUT YOU LIKE HIM, 565 00:21:54,791 --> 00:21:55,971 SO GET UP THERE. 566 00:21:56,010 --> 00:21:58,530 I CAN'T. 567 00:21:58,578 --> 00:22:00,058 BOO, THE GUY SLEPT WITH A SANDWICH 568 00:22:00,101 --> 00:22:02,631 FOR A WEEK AND HAD NO CLUE. 569 00:22:02,669 --> 00:22:04,499 ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE. THAT'S ENOUGH. 570 00:22:04,540 --> 00:22:06,410 CENTER OF THE FLOOR FOR REVERENCE. 571 00:22:07,543 --> 00:22:09,593 - OKAY, I'M GOING IN. - WAIT. 572 00:22:14,811 --> 00:22:16,031 PRETTY. 573 00:22:16,073 --> 00:22:17,813 AND THE GLARE MIGHT ATTRACT HIS ATTENTION. 574 00:22:17,858 --> 00:22:18,948 THANKS. 575 00:22:26,562 --> 00:22:27,652 GOD, BOO. 576 00:22:27,694 --> 00:22:29,354 WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE HIM A LAP DANCE? 577 00:22:33,961 --> 00:22:35,011 OH, BOO. LOOK AT YOU 578 00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:36,009 IN THE FRONT OF THE ROOM. 579 00:22:36,050 --> 00:22:37,570 GOOD FOR YOU. GET UP THERE. 580 00:22:37,617 --> 00:22:38,787 STAY UP THERE. 581 00:22:40,446 --> 00:22:41,966 MORE, PLEASE. 582 00:22:42,012 --> 00:22:43,012 IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN THE FRONT, 583 00:22:43,057 --> 00:22:44,537 THEN BE IN THE FRONT. 584 00:22:44,580 --> 00:22:46,670 VERY GOOD. 585 00:22:46,713 --> 00:22:48,983 ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE. READY, AND-- 586 00:22:49,019 --> 00:22:52,019 [ piano music playing ] 587 00:23:04,165 --> 00:23:06,165 [ radio chattering ] 588 00:23:10,606 --> 00:23:11,826 HEY, THERE. 589 00:23:11,868 --> 00:23:12,958 - I'M LOU. - HEY, LOU. 590 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:13,960 UH, JUST GIVE ME A SECOND, 591 00:23:14,001 --> 00:23:15,051 I GOT THE HELICOPTER HAT ON, 592 00:23:15,089 --> 00:23:16,959 I'M FLYING, I'M FLYING, I'M FLYING! 593 00:23:17,004 --> 00:23:18,964 - [ game noise ] - OH. 594 00:23:19,006 --> 00:23:20,696 DARN. WELL, IT'S BEEN THAT KIND OF DAY. 595 00:23:20,747 --> 00:23:21,877 YOU CALL FOR A TOW? 596 00:23:21,922 --> 00:23:22,972 UH, YEAH. BLESS YOU. 597 00:23:23,010 --> 00:23:25,140 UM, I WAS PULLING ONTO THIS ROAD, 598 00:23:25,186 --> 00:23:27,486 AND I GUESS I TURNED THE WHEEL PRETTY SHARPLY, 599 00:23:27,536 --> 00:23:29,056 AND THERE WAS A CLANG OR MAYBE A CLUNK, 600 00:23:29,103 --> 00:23:30,633 AND THEN IT JUST STOPPED DEAD. 601 00:23:30,670 --> 00:23:31,980 I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S A TRANSMISSION THING, 602 00:23:32,019 --> 00:23:33,669 OR A BRAKE THING, OR AN OIL THING, 603 00:23:33,716 --> 00:23:34,886 OR MAYBE BECAUSE I TURNED THE STEERING WHEEL 604 00:23:34,935 --> 00:23:36,455 SO FAST, IT COULD BE A STEERING WHEEL THING. 605 00:23:36,502 --> 00:23:37,892 FEEL FREE TO JUMP IN ANY TIME HERE. 606 00:23:37,938 --> 00:23:39,848 CAN'T DIAGNOSE IT WITHOUT TAKING A LOOK. 607 00:23:39,896 --> 00:23:41,156 WELL, COME ON UP HERE AND TAKE A LOOK. 608 00:23:41,202 --> 00:23:42,162 CAN'T. 609 00:23:42,203 --> 00:23:43,603 YOU CAN'T LOOK AT MY CAR? 610 00:23:43,639 --> 00:23:44,809 NOPE. SORRY. 611 00:23:44,858 --> 00:23:46,158 WELL, ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING? 612 00:23:46,207 --> 00:23:47,687 YUP. 613 00:23:47,730 --> 00:23:48,990 OKAY. 614 00:23:49,036 --> 00:23:51,466 WELL, CAN YOU JUST TOW IT FOR ME THEN? 615 00:23:51,517 --> 00:23:52,647 CAN'T DO THAT EITHER. 616 00:23:52,692 --> 00:23:54,082 ISN'T THAT ANOTHER THING YOU DO FOR A LIVING? 617 00:23:54,128 --> 00:23:55,478 YUP. 618 00:23:55,521 --> 00:23:58,091 ARE YOU ABOUT TO TELL ME THAT THERE'S NO GORGONZOLA? 619 00:23:58,132 --> 00:23:59,182 'CAUSE THIS IS STARTING TO FEEL LIKE 620 00:23:59,220 --> 00:24:00,660 THE MONTE PYTHON CHEESE SHOP SKETCH. 621 00:24:00,700 --> 00:24:02,620 YOU'RE ON A PRIVATE ROAD. 622 00:24:02,658 --> 00:24:03,878 I AM? 623 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,010 OH, I DON'T SEE A SIGN. 624 00:24:05,052 --> 00:24:06,492 THERE IS NO SIGN. 625 00:24:06,532 --> 00:24:07,712 IT'S JUST THAT NOBODY'S ALLOWED 626 00:24:07,750 --> 00:24:08,750 TO DRIVE ON THAT ROAD 627 00:24:08,795 --> 00:24:10,095 WITHOUT PERMISSION. 628 00:24:10,144 --> 00:24:11,194 OH. 629 00:24:11,232 --> 00:24:12,232 OH, OKAY, I GET IT. 630 00:24:12,276 --> 00:24:13,706 YOU CAN'T DRIVE ON THE PRIVATE ROAD, 631 00:24:13,756 --> 00:24:15,536 BUT I'M, LIKE, BARELY ON IT. 632 00:24:15,584 --> 00:24:16,764 IT'S STILL A PRIVATE ROAD. 633 00:24:16,803 --> 00:24:19,023 YEAH, BUT THERE'S NO SIGN. 634 00:24:19,066 --> 00:24:20,626 HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? 635 00:24:20,676 --> 00:24:22,196 WELL, A PRIVATE ROAD'S A PRIVATE ROAD. 636 00:24:22,243 --> 00:24:23,463 EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. 637 00:24:23,505 --> 00:24:25,115 YEAH, BUT I'M NEW. 638 00:24:25,159 --> 00:24:26,939 - LIVE AND LEARN. - WOW. 639 00:24:26,987 --> 00:24:28,207 LESSON LEARNED. 640 00:24:28,249 --> 00:24:30,509 UM, SO HOW DO I GET THIS TOWED THEN? 641 00:24:30,556 --> 00:24:31,946 I'D NEED PERMISSION. 642 00:24:31,992 --> 00:24:33,912 HOW DO WE GET PERMISSION? 643 00:24:33,950 --> 00:24:35,560 YOU GOTTA GET IT FROM THE ROAD'S OWNER. 644 00:24:35,604 --> 00:24:37,134 [ chatter from radio ] 645 00:24:37,171 --> 00:24:39,041 YEAH, THIS IS 37. I'M AVAILABLE AGAIN. 646 00:24:39,086 --> 00:24:40,776 WHOA, WHOA. NO, NO, NOT YET. 647 00:24:40,827 --> 00:24:42,917 UH, THIS OWNER, DOES HE HAVE A NAME? 648 00:24:42,959 --> 00:24:44,919 UH, MOST EVERYBODY SAYS IT'S BILL. 649 00:24:44,961 --> 00:24:47,051 MOST EVERYBODY? IS THERE NOT, LIKE, A CONSENSUS? 650 00:24:47,094 --> 00:24:48,534 WELL, HE'S JUST SOME RICH GUY 651 00:24:48,574 --> 00:24:49,584 THAT BOUGHT A LOT OF LAND 652 00:24:49,618 --> 00:24:50,578 AND BUILT A BIG HOUSE 653 00:24:50,619 --> 00:24:51,879 WHO NOBODY TALKS TO 654 00:24:51,925 --> 00:24:52,875 OR HAS SEEN. 655 00:24:52,926 --> 00:24:53,876 WE THINK. 656 00:24:53,927 --> 00:24:55,537 SUPPOSEDLY MADE HIS MONEY 657 00:24:55,581 --> 00:24:56,891 IN SILICON VALLEY, 658 00:24:56,930 --> 00:24:58,150 OR POSSIBLY SOMETHING TO DO WITH 659 00:24:58,192 --> 00:25:00,542 ILLEGAL INTERNATIONAL ORGAN TRANSPLANTS. 660 00:25:00,586 --> 00:25:01,796 I'VE HEARD SOMETHING 661 00:25:01,848 --> 00:25:03,148 ABOUT PIG HEART VALVES 662 00:25:03,197 --> 00:25:04,237 MADE OUT OF SILICONE, 663 00:25:04,285 --> 00:25:05,845 BUT I THINK THAT'S JUST SOMETHING 664 00:25:05,895 --> 00:25:06,845 THAT SOMEBODY MADE UP. 665 00:25:06,896 --> 00:25:07,896 WHATEVER IT IS, 666 00:25:07,941 --> 00:25:09,551 HE MADE A BUCKETLOAD OF MONEY. 667 00:25:09,595 --> 00:25:10,935 WELL, WHERE WOULD I FIND THIS 668 00:25:10,987 --> 00:25:12,077 SILICONE-PIG-HEART GUY 669 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:13,729 WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE NAMED BILL? 670 00:25:13,773 --> 00:25:15,513 UP THE ROAD. 671 00:25:15,557 --> 00:25:17,077 OKAY. 672 00:25:17,124 --> 00:25:18,084 FINE. 673 00:25:18,125 --> 00:25:19,685 YOU JUST WAIT HERE 674 00:25:19,735 --> 00:25:21,555 AND I WILL SKADOODLE ON UP THERE 675 00:25:21,607 --> 00:25:23,257 AND ASK THE GUY WHO MIGHT BE NAMED BILL 676 00:25:23,304 --> 00:25:25,264 FOR PERMISSION TO GET MY CAR TOWED OFF HIS ROAD. 677 00:25:25,306 --> 00:25:26,566 OH, UH. 678 00:25:26,612 --> 00:25:27,702 I WOULDN'T DO THAT. 679 00:25:27,743 --> 00:25:30,273 WHY, LOU? WHY? 680 00:25:30,311 --> 00:25:32,101 WELL, AWHILE BACK, TWO COUNTY WORKERS 681 00:25:32,139 --> 00:25:33,269 WENT UP THERE TO DISCUSS 682 00:25:33,314 --> 00:25:34,584 PUTTING IN A CELLPHONE TOWER 683 00:25:34,620 --> 00:25:36,270 AND NO ONE EVER SAW THEM AGAIN. 684 00:25:36,317 --> 00:25:38,277 YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT TWO PEOPLE 685 00:25:38,319 --> 00:25:40,629 WENT UP THERE, DISAPPEARED, 686 00:25:40,669 --> 00:25:42,189 AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM? 687 00:25:42,236 --> 00:25:43,926 PRIVATE ROAD. 688 00:25:43,977 --> 00:25:45,237 [ car door opens ] 689 00:25:46,806 --> 00:25:48,626 - HEY-O, CLAYTON. - HEY, LOU. 690 00:25:48,677 --> 00:25:49,937 THANK GOD. OFFICER CLAYTON, 691 00:25:49,983 --> 00:25:51,723 WILL YOU PLEASE GIVE LOU PERMISSION 692 00:25:51,767 --> 00:25:53,597 TO MOVE HIS TRUCK THREE FEET 693 00:25:53,639 --> 00:25:54,639 SO I CAN GET A TOW? 694 00:25:54,683 --> 00:25:55,773 OH, BOY. 695 00:25:55,815 --> 00:25:56,815 LET ME GUESS. PRIVATE ROAD? 696 00:25:56,859 --> 00:25:58,119 - PRIVATE ROAD. - ALL RIGHT, 697 00:25:58,165 --> 00:25:59,295 FIRST OF ALL, MAY I POINT OUT 698 00:25:59,340 --> 00:26:00,600 THAT THERE'S NO SIGNS? 699 00:26:00,646 --> 00:26:02,036 OH, WE DON'T LIKE SIGNS AROUND HERE, 700 00:26:02,082 --> 00:26:03,132 MARS THE LANDSCAPE. 701 00:26:03,170 --> 00:26:04,300 DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE ENTERING 702 00:26:04,345 --> 00:26:05,295 A PRIVATE ROAD? 703 00:26:05,346 --> 00:26:06,956 NO, 'CAUSE THERE'S NO SIGN! 704 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:07,960 NO NEED TO YELL. 705 00:26:08,001 --> 00:26:09,001 I'M NOT YELLING! 706 00:26:09,045 --> 00:26:09,995 ALL RIGHT, I'M YELLING A LITTLE BIT, 707 00:26:10,046 --> 00:26:10,996 BUT THERE IS NO SIGN! 708 00:26:11,047 --> 00:26:12,217 EVERYBODY AROUND HERE KNOWS 709 00:26:12,266 --> 00:26:13,306 THAT'S A PRIVATE ROAD. 710 00:26:13,354 --> 00:26:15,574 [ groans ] WELL, I'M FREAKIN' NEW. 711 00:26:15,617 --> 00:26:17,577 OH, ALL RIGHT. 712 00:26:17,619 --> 00:26:18,839 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 713 00:26:18,881 --> 00:26:21,011 NOTHING JUST YET. 714 00:26:21,057 --> 00:26:22,667 YOU'RE WRITING. WHAT ARE YOU WRITING? 715 00:26:22,711 --> 00:26:23,671 GOTTA GIVE YOU A TICKET. 716 00:26:23,712 --> 00:26:24,712 A TICKET? FOR WHAT? 717 00:26:24,757 --> 00:26:26,627 WELL, TRESPASSING FOR STARTERS. 718 00:26:26,672 --> 00:26:28,152 YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! 719 00:26:28,195 --> 00:26:30,065 PLEASE, LET'S KEEP THE TONE CIVIL, MA'AM 720 00:26:30,110 --> 00:26:31,980 AND COULD YOU COME ON DOWN HERE, PLEASE? 721 00:26:32,025 --> 00:26:33,025 NO. 722 00:26:34,027 --> 00:26:35,677 - NO? - NO. YOU COME UP HERE. 723 00:26:35,724 --> 00:26:36,994 IT'S A PRIVATE ROAD. 724 00:26:37,030 --> 00:26:38,770 WELL, NOW, IF I HAVE TO 725 00:26:38,814 --> 00:26:39,774 COME UP THERE, 726 00:26:39,815 --> 00:26:41,335 IT'S NOT GONNA BE GOOD. 727 00:26:41,382 --> 00:26:42,912 MAKE MY DAY. 728 00:26:45,386 --> 00:26:47,866 WELL. 729 00:26:47,910 --> 00:26:49,830 THIS MUST BE SOME KIND OF RECORD FOR YOU. 730 00:26:49,869 --> 00:26:51,259 THREE DAYS IN A NEW TOWN 731 00:26:51,305 --> 00:26:52,645 AND YOU'RE ALREADY HANDCUFFED 732 00:26:52,698 --> 00:26:53,788 IN THE BACK OF A POLICE CAR. 733 00:26:53,829 --> 00:26:55,179 I'M ZIP-TIED. NOT HANDCUFFED. 734 00:26:55,222 --> 00:26:56,922 OH. IS THERE A DIFFERENCE? 735 00:26:56,963 --> 00:26:58,363 THERE'S SO MANY INTERESTING THINGS 736 00:26:58,399 --> 00:27:00,359 - I CAN LEARN FROM YOU. - THIS IS BEYOND RIDICULOUS. 737 00:27:00,401 --> 00:27:02,061 I HAVE RIGHTS! 738 00:27:02,098 --> 00:27:03,838 IF I WERE YOU, I'D KEEP THAT SENTIMENT 739 00:27:03,883 --> 00:27:04,883 TO MYSELF. 740 00:27:04,927 --> 00:27:07,097 COME ON. I SPRUNG YOU. 741 00:27:07,147 --> 00:27:08,627 IS THAT THE PROPER LINGO? 742 00:27:11,238 --> 00:27:13,068 OH GOD. 743 00:27:15,764 --> 00:27:17,904 ALL RIGHT, CLAYTON. I'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE. 744 00:27:17,940 --> 00:27:20,680 WE'LL JUST CALL IT A MISUNDERSTANDING. 745 00:27:20,726 --> 00:27:21,676 THANK YOU. 746 00:27:21,727 --> 00:27:22,857 MM-HMM. 747 00:27:33,347 --> 00:27:34,867 YOU'RE JUST LUCKY I SWING DANCE 748 00:27:34,914 --> 00:27:37,394 WITH THE POLICE CHIEF. 749 00:27:37,438 --> 00:27:38,698 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 750 00:27:38,744 --> 00:27:39,834 I GOTTA GET HUBBELL'S CAR BACK. 751 00:27:39,875 --> 00:27:41,395 AND HOW DO YOU PLAN TO DO THAT, EXACTLY? 752 00:27:41,442 --> 00:27:43,712 I THINK I'M GONNA FLY BY THE SEAT OF MY PANTS ON THIS ONE. 753 00:27:43,749 --> 00:27:45,049 YOU JUST GOT ARRESTED FOR DOING 754 00:27:45,098 --> 00:27:46,188 WHAT YOU'RE DOING AGAIN. 755 00:27:46,229 --> 00:27:48,059 WELL, FORTUNATELY, MY MOTHER-IN-LAW 756 00:27:48,101 --> 00:27:49,671 SWING DANCES WITH THE POLICE CHIEF. 757 00:27:53,019 --> 00:27:54,279 [ sighs ] 758 00:27:57,458 --> 00:27:59,458 [ girls chattering, giggling ] 759 00:28:01,767 --> 00:28:03,067 COME ON, BOO. SLEEP OVER. 760 00:28:03,116 --> 00:28:05,116 THANKS, BUT I'M REALLY NOT IN THE MOOD. 761 00:28:05,161 --> 00:28:07,771 IF YOU COME, IT'LL BE A REAL SLEEP OVER PARTY 762 00:28:07,816 --> 00:28:09,336 INSTEAD OF JUST ME AND MEL SLEEPING TOGETHER. 763 00:28:09,383 --> 00:28:12,133 - MM. - THAT SOUNDED WRONG. 764 00:28:12,168 --> 00:28:13,998 IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU ARE MY LOV-AH. 765 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:15,780 AND I AM NOT YOUR LOV-AH. 766 00:28:15,824 --> 00:28:17,004 YOU GUYS ARE NUTS. 767 00:28:17,043 --> 00:28:18,043 DON'T YOU WANT ANOTHER SHOT 768 00:28:18,087 --> 00:28:19,087 - WITH MY BROTHER? - WE CAN HELP. 769 00:28:19,132 --> 00:28:20,182 WE'LL COME UP WITH A PLAN. 770 00:28:20,220 --> 00:28:21,830 I THINK CHARLIE'S HAD ENOUGH OF ME 771 00:28:21,874 --> 00:28:22,834 FOR ONE DAY. 772 00:28:22,875 --> 00:28:24,085 I'M JUST GONNA GO HOME, 773 00:28:24,137 --> 00:28:25,437 SIT IN A DARK CLOSET 774 00:28:25,486 --> 00:28:27,136 WHERE NO ONE CAN STARE AT ME. 775 00:28:27,183 --> 00:28:28,273 I COULD KILL SASHA. 776 00:28:28,315 --> 00:28:29,965 I KNOW. SOMETIMES SHE'S SO AWFUL. 777 00:28:30,012 --> 00:28:31,452 SERIOUSLY, I WAS READY TO STRANGLE HER. 778 00:28:31,492 --> 00:28:33,762 AND SHE'S GOT THAT SKINNY STRANGLABLE NECK. 779 00:28:33,799 --> 00:28:34,929 Melanie: MINIMAL EFFORT REQUIRED. 780 00:28:34,974 --> 00:28:35,984 Ginny: I KNOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE 781 00:28:36,018 --> 00:28:37,278 A MEAN GIRLFRIEND IN HIGH SCHOOL-- 782 00:28:37,324 --> 00:28:38,374 I'VE SEEN ALL THE MOVIES-- 783 00:28:38,412 --> 00:28:40,762 BUT THIS IS GETTING REALLY EXHAUSTING. 784 00:28:40,806 --> 00:28:41,756 YEAH, ONE DAY SHE'S NICE, 785 00:28:41,807 --> 00:28:42,897 THE NEXT DAY, SHE'S THIS. 786 00:28:42,938 --> 00:28:44,198 HMM. WE SHOULD FORCE HER TO WEAR A SIGN 787 00:28:44,244 --> 00:28:45,294 SO WE'RE PREPARED. 788 00:28:45,332 --> 00:28:46,552 YEAH. "HI, I'M SASHA, 789 00:28:46,594 --> 00:28:48,124 AND TODAY I'M GOING TO BE A COLOSSAL BITCH." 790 00:28:48,161 --> 00:28:49,291 YOU SHOULDN'T TALK ABOUT SASHA LIKE THAT 791 00:28:49,336 --> 00:28:50,506 BEHIND HER BACK. 792 00:28:50,554 --> 00:28:52,124 SHE WAS SO MEAN TO YOU TODAY IN CLASS. 793 00:28:52,165 --> 00:28:53,205 SHE'S HAVING A BAD DAY. 794 00:28:53,253 --> 00:28:54,303 SEEMS LIKE EVERY DAY NOWADAYS 795 00:28:54,341 --> 00:28:55,431 IS A BAD DAY. 796 00:28:55,472 --> 00:28:57,302 SERIOUSLY, BOO. HOW CAN YOU DEFEND HER 797 00:28:57,344 --> 00:28:58,394 AFTER WHAT SHE DID? 798 00:28:58,432 --> 00:28:59,832 WHO KNOWS WHAT SHE'S GOING THROUGH? 799 00:28:59,868 --> 00:29:01,298 SHE'S GOT A LOT OF ISSUES 800 00:29:01,348 --> 00:29:02,828 AND WEIRD THINGS GOING ON AT HOME. 801 00:29:02,871 --> 00:29:04,831 AND THAT'S PROBABLY WHY SHE ACTS THAT WAY. 802 00:29:04,873 --> 00:29:07,053 AND SOMETIMES PEOPLE LOOK LIKE THEY HAVE 803 00:29:07,093 --> 00:29:08,443 IT ALL TOGETHER, BUT WHO KNOWS 804 00:29:08,485 --> 00:29:10,305 WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON? 805 00:29:10,357 --> 00:29:12,137 YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE 806 00:29:12,185 --> 00:29:13,135 TO BE ME, BOO. 807 00:29:13,186 --> 00:29:14,796 SO DON'T PSYCHOANALYZE ME, 808 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,320 FEEL SORRY FOR ME OR DEFEND ME. 809 00:29:16,363 --> 00:29:18,193 I'M FINE. 810 00:29:18,234 --> 00:29:19,194 YOU'RE THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO HIDE 811 00:29:19,235 --> 00:29:21,015 IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM. 812 00:29:31,247 --> 00:29:32,207 [ people chattering ] 813 00:29:32,248 --> 00:29:33,418 COME ON, LET'S GO. 814 00:29:33,467 --> 00:29:35,817 - BYE. - BYE. 815 00:29:35,861 --> 00:29:36,911 GIRLS. 816 00:29:39,038 --> 00:29:40,338 HEY, NANETTE, MAKE BOO CHANGE HER MIND 817 00:29:40,387 --> 00:29:41,337 AND COME SLEEP OVER. 818 00:29:41,388 --> 00:29:42,348 YEAH, WE NEED HER. 819 00:29:42,389 --> 00:29:43,349 WE DO. WE BORE EACH OTHER. 820 00:29:43,390 --> 00:29:45,440 - A LOT. - [ laughs ] 821 00:29:49,222 --> 00:29:50,272 YOUR FRIENDS ARE HAVING A SLEEP OVER. 822 00:29:50,310 --> 00:29:51,440 WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO GO? 823 00:29:51,485 --> 00:29:52,615 OH, BECAUSE, 824 00:29:52,660 --> 00:29:54,360 I HAVE HOMEWORK, AND THE ADULT THING TO DO 825 00:29:54,401 --> 00:29:56,361 IS TO STAY HOME AND DO IT. 826 00:29:56,403 --> 00:29:58,363 OKAY, BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD GO. 827 00:29:58,405 --> 00:30:00,225 - WHY? - BECAUSE YOU'RE ONLY YOUNG ONCE, 828 00:30:00,276 --> 00:30:01,446 AND DINNER AT HOME TONIGHT 829 00:30:01,495 --> 00:30:02,445 IS GOING TO BE TERRIBLE. 830 00:30:02,496 --> 00:30:04,276 I'M SERIOUS. SAVE YOURSELF. 831 00:30:04,324 --> 00:30:05,464 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 832 00:30:05,499 --> 00:30:06,889 WELL I FINALLY MADE A RECIPE 833 00:30:06,935 --> 00:30:07,975 FROM THAT NEW LIGHT COOKBOOK, 834 00:30:08,023 --> 00:30:09,023 THE ONE YOU MADE ME BUY. 835 00:30:09,068 --> 00:30:10,368 - THANKS, MOM. - DO NOT THANK ME. 836 00:30:10,417 --> 00:30:11,457 I AM THANKING YOU. 837 00:30:11,505 --> 00:30:12,545 IT'S LIGHT MACARONI AND CHEESE. 838 00:30:12,593 --> 00:30:14,073 THEN DOUBLE THANK YOU. 839 00:30:14,116 --> 00:30:16,286 YEAH, SEE, THERE'S A SMELL. 840 00:30:16,336 --> 00:30:17,376 A SMELL? 841 00:30:17,424 --> 00:30:18,604 THE ENTIRE HOUSE SMELLS. 842 00:30:18,642 --> 00:30:20,382 NOW I HAVE NEVER SMELLED A DEAD FOOT BEFORE 843 00:30:20,427 --> 00:30:21,557 - BUT-- - I'M SURE DINNER 844 00:30:21,602 --> 00:30:23,002 WILL BE HEALTHY, AND GOOD, 845 00:30:23,038 --> 00:30:24,168 AND I LOVE YOU FOR TRYING. 846 00:30:24,213 --> 00:30:25,393 SNIFF MY SHIRT. 847 00:30:25,432 --> 00:30:26,392 WHAT? 848 00:30:26,433 --> 00:30:27,433 SNIFF IT. 849 00:30:28,522 --> 00:30:30,092 [ sniffs ] 850 00:30:30,132 --> 00:30:31,092 [ laughs ] 851 00:30:31,133 --> 00:30:33,013 TOLD YOU IT WAS BAD. 852 00:30:33,048 --> 00:30:34,878 WOW. THAT IS... 853 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:36,140 - SO BAD. - DEAD FOOT? 854 00:30:36,182 --> 00:30:38,582 - TOTAL DEAD FOOT. - [ laughing ] 855 00:30:38,619 --> 00:30:41,059 HOW IS THAT SMELL EVEN POSSIBLE? 856 00:30:41,100 --> 00:30:42,580 IT'S LIKE I CAN'T STOP MYSELF. 857 00:30:42,623 --> 00:30:44,103 MAYBE THAT'S THE DIET. 858 00:30:44,146 --> 00:30:46,316 [ laughing ] 859 00:30:53,634 --> 00:30:56,594 NA-AH-AH-AH. LAP, PLEASE. 860 00:30:56,637 --> 00:30:59,597 YOU WOULD NOT EVEN BELIEVE MY DAY. HARROWING. 861 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:01,290 "THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE" AND I'M SHELLY WINTERS. 862 00:31:01,337 --> 00:31:03,597 I AM A KNOT, ONE GIANT KNOT. 863 00:31:03,644 --> 00:31:05,174 I CAN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT DINNER. 864 00:31:05,211 --> 00:31:06,521 I'VE SCHEDULED A MASSAGE FOR TONIGHT. 865 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:08,520 HENRI JUST BARELY MANAGED TO SQUEEZE ME IN, 866 00:31:08,562 --> 00:31:10,352 AND YOUR FATHER IS GOING TO BE OUT LATE 867 00:31:10,390 --> 00:31:11,610 AGAIN. 868 00:31:11,652 --> 00:31:13,312 SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? 869 00:31:13,349 --> 00:31:14,519 THERE'S TAKE-OUT 870 00:31:14,568 --> 00:31:16,088 OR SOMETHING FROZEN. 871 00:31:16,135 --> 00:31:17,605 I THINK. 872 00:31:17,658 --> 00:31:19,918 DO YOU JUST WANT TO GO HAVE DINNER WITH YOUR FRIENDS? 873 00:31:19,965 --> 00:31:21,225 NO. 874 00:31:22,968 --> 00:31:24,228 OKAY. 875 00:31:33,500 --> 00:31:36,500 [ panting ] 876 00:31:47,035 --> 00:31:48,245 - HELLO. - WHY? 877 00:31:48,297 --> 00:31:50,467 WHY, WHY DOES ANYONE HAVE TO LIVE SO FAR AWAY 878 00:31:50,517 --> 00:31:51,467 FROM CIVILIZATION? 879 00:31:51,518 --> 00:31:52,478 - PARDON ME? - I MEAN, 880 00:31:52,519 --> 00:31:53,609 THIS PRIVATE ROAD OF YOURS 881 00:31:53,650 --> 00:31:54,960 IS REALLY MISLEADING. 882 00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:56,180 YOU GO UP A STRAIGHT-AWAY, 883 00:31:56,218 --> 00:31:57,648 YOU THINK YOU'RE ALMOST AT THE HOUSE, 884 00:31:57,698 --> 00:31:59,478 YOU ROUND A BEND, MORE STRAIGHT-AWAY. 885 00:31:59,526 --> 00:32:01,306 SO YOU GO UP THAT, YOU ROUND A BEND, 886 00:32:01,354 --> 00:32:02,314 MORE STRAIGHT-AWAY. 887 00:32:02,355 --> 00:32:03,305 AND ON AND ON. 888 00:32:03,356 --> 00:32:04,706 YOU GET SOME KIND OF DEAL 889 00:32:04,748 --> 00:32:06,398 WITH STRAIGHT-AWAYS? YOU HAD A COUPON OR SOMETHING? 890 00:32:06,446 --> 00:32:07,396 MAY I ASK WHO YOU ARE? 891 00:32:07,447 --> 00:32:08,487 HAVE I NOT INTRODUCED MYSELF? 892 00:32:08,535 --> 00:32:10,485 - NO. - YOU HAD NO SIGN. 893 00:32:10,537 --> 00:32:12,097 - WHAT? - YOU HAVE NO PRIVATE-ROAD SIGN, 894 00:32:12,147 --> 00:32:13,447 AND MY CAR DIED, 895 00:32:13,496 --> 00:32:15,146 AND I GOT ARRESTED, AND I MUST SOUND LIKE A LOON. 896 00:32:15,194 --> 00:32:16,244 IT'S ALL A BIG MISUNDERSTANDING, 897 00:32:16,282 --> 00:32:17,502 - DO YOU HAVE ANY WATER? - SURE. 898 00:32:17,544 --> 00:32:18,634 I'M GRANT. 899 00:32:18,675 --> 00:32:20,325 OH, HAVE I STILL NOT INTRODUCED MYSELF? 900 00:32:20,373 --> 00:32:22,333 - NO. - OH, IT'S THOSE STRAIGHT-AWAYS. 901 00:32:22,375 --> 00:32:24,505 THEY SUCK THE POLITENESS RIGHT OUT OF YOUR HEAD, 902 00:32:24,551 --> 00:32:25,511 I'M MICHELLE. 903 00:32:25,552 --> 00:32:26,602 COME ON IN, MICHELLE. 904 00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:28,990 WAIT A SECOND. 905 00:32:29,034 --> 00:32:30,514 WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE CELL PHONE TOWER GUYS. 906 00:32:30,557 --> 00:32:33,207 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 907 00:32:34,387 --> 00:32:35,557 OKAY. 908 00:32:38,130 --> 00:32:39,350 YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE DOOR. 909 00:32:39,392 --> 00:32:43,092 THAT'S WHAT ALL THE LADIES SAY. 910 00:32:43,135 --> 00:32:44,395 WOW, THIS PLACE IS SO COOL. 911 00:32:46,051 --> 00:32:47,271 I'LL GET THAT WATER FOR YOU. 912 00:32:47,313 --> 00:32:49,183 OH, YOU HAVE A VIEW. 913 00:32:49,228 --> 00:32:51,008 HELP ME OUT, WHAT SHOULD I BE LOOKING FOR? 914 00:32:51,056 --> 00:32:53,616 UH, WHALES, DOLPHINS, SEALS. 915 00:32:53,667 --> 00:32:55,187 UH, THERE'S A NUDE BEACH 916 00:32:55,234 --> 00:32:57,194 ABOUT TWO MILES UP TO THE LEFT. 917 00:32:57,236 --> 00:32:59,236 AAH! WHY IS IT THAT THE PEOPLE ON NUDE BEACHES... 918 00:32:59,281 --> 00:33:01,021 ARE NEVER THE ONES YOU WANT TO SEE NAKED? 919 00:33:01,066 --> 00:33:02,366 - I DON'T KNOW. - WHY DO YOU LOOK? 920 00:33:02,415 --> 00:33:03,455 I CAN'T HELP IT. 921 00:33:03,503 --> 00:33:05,643 IT'S A BIOLOGICAL DISASTER ZONE. 922 00:33:05,679 --> 00:33:08,069 IT'S LIKE TWO MILES OF DALI PAINTINGS 923 00:33:08,116 --> 00:33:09,196 WALKING AROUND FREE. 924 00:33:09,248 --> 00:33:11,418 - [ sighs ] - [ chuckles ] 925 00:33:11,467 --> 00:33:12,597 SO, YOUR CAR? 926 00:33:12,642 --> 00:33:13,732 YES. 927 00:33:13,774 --> 00:33:15,384 IT BROKE DOWN AT THE BASE OF THE ROAD, 928 00:33:15,428 --> 00:33:16,388 AND NO ONE WILL TOW IT 929 00:33:16,429 --> 00:33:17,429 BECAUSE IT'S A PRIVATE ROAD-- 930 00:33:17,473 --> 00:33:18,653 COMPLETELY UNMARKED, BY THE WAY. 931 00:33:18,692 --> 00:33:20,092 I KEEP PUTTING SIGNS UP, 932 00:33:20,128 --> 00:33:21,388 BUT THERE'S THIS LOCAL COP 933 00:33:21,434 --> 00:33:22,704 WHO DRIVES BY AT NIGHT AND STEALS THEM. 934 00:33:22,739 --> 00:33:23,739 - BAD MUSTACHE? - YEP. 935 00:33:23,784 --> 00:33:25,394 THAT DUDE JUST TRIED TO ARREST ME. 936 00:33:25,438 --> 00:33:27,308 I'M GONNA TALK TO MY CHAUFFEUR ABOUT YOUR CAR. 937 00:33:27,353 --> 00:33:28,703 HE KNOWS CARS. 938 00:33:28,745 --> 00:33:29,745 YOU HAVE A CHAUFFEUR? 939 00:33:29,790 --> 00:33:31,230 WOW. 940 00:33:31,270 --> 00:33:32,580 BARRY MANILOW HAS A CHAUFFEUR. 941 00:33:32,619 --> 00:33:34,319 I WORKED WITH HIM A FEW TIMES IN VEGAS. 942 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:35,710 REALLY? AS WHAT? 943 00:33:35,752 --> 00:33:37,102 DANCER. 944 00:33:37,145 --> 00:33:38,755 I'M A DANCER. WAS A DANCER. 945 00:33:38,799 --> 00:33:39,759 YOU QUIT? 946 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,670 MANILOW? NO NO, THE GIG ENDED. 947 00:33:41,715 --> 00:33:42,715 BUT SERIOUSLY HOW MANY TIMES 948 00:33:42,759 --> 00:33:43,759 CAN YOU HEAR "COPACABANA" 949 00:33:43,804 --> 00:33:45,074 WITHOUT TOTALLY SIDING WITH RICO? 950 00:33:45,110 --> 00:33:46,420 NO. YOU QUIT DANCING? 951 00:33:46,459 --> 00:33:49,069 OH. 952 00:33:49,114 --> 00:33:50,684 DID YOU KNOW THAT HE FLIES HOME EVERY NIGHT 953 00:33:50,724 --> 00:33:51,734 TO PALM SPRINGS? 954 00:33:51,768 --> 00:33:52,768 WHEN HE PLAYS VEGAS? 955 00:33:52,813 --> 00:33:54,423 WHO? 956 00:33:54,467 --> 00:33:55,507 MANILOW. JUST SO HE CAN SLEEP 957 00:33:55,555 --> 00:33:57,035 IN HIS OWN BED. THAT'S RICH. 958 00:33:59,776 --> 00:34:01,776 HEY, RUSTY. YEAH, I GOT A FRIEND 959 00:34:01,822 --> 00:34:03,262 WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH HER CAR. 960 00:34:03,302 --> 00:34:04,782 DO YOU MIND TAKING A LOOK AT IT? 961 00:34:04,825 --> 00:34:07,175 YEAH, IT'S AT THE BASE OF THE DRIVEWAY. THANKS. 962 00:34:07,219 --> 00:34:08,789 YOU'RE CALLING THAT AUTOBAHN YOU HAVE 963 00:34:08,829 --> 00:34:11,699 ON YOUR PROPERTY A DRIVEWAY? 964 00:34:11,745 --> 00:34:12,695 BOY, YOU ARE RICH. 965 00:34:12,746 --> 00:34:13,696 YOU'RE MANILOW RICH. 966 00:34:13,747 --> 00:34:16,317 SO TELL ME, WHAT INSPIRED YOU 967 00:34:16,358 --> 00:34:18,188 TO BECOME THE MYSTERY MAN 968 00:34:18,230 --> 00:34:20,100 OF PARADISE, CALIFORNIA ANYHOW? 969 00:34:20,145 --> 00:34:21,095 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 970 00:34:21,146 --> 00:34:22,146 WELL, I BET YOU COULD LIVE 971 00:34:22,190 --> 00:34:24,450 ANYWHERE YOU WANTED, WHY HERE? 972 00:34:24,497 --> 00:34:26,717 WELL, I BOUGHT THIS PLACE YEARS AGO AS AN INVESTMENT, 973 00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:28,150 BUT LATELY I'VE BEEN SPENDING 974 00:34:28,196 --> 00:34:29,146 MORE AND MORE TIME HERE, 975 00:34:29,197 --> 00:34:30,457 AND I LIKE IT. 976 00:34:30,503 --> 00:34:32,113 I HIKE, I RIDE MY MOUNTAIN BIKE, 977 00:34:32,157 --> 00:34:33,637 SURF, READ. 978 00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:34,640 IT'S A NICE LIFE. 979 00:34:34,681 --> 00:34:36,291 I JUST GOT HERE 980 00:34:36,335 --> 00:34:38,115 TWO DAYS AGO. 981 00:34:38,163 --> 00:34:40,123 I'M THAT GIRL, YOU KNOW, THE ONE THAT MARRIED THE GUY 982 00:34:40,165 --> 00:34:42,465 IN VEGAS. I'M NOT HAVING ANY WINE BY THE WAY. 983 00:34:42,515 --> 00:34:43,775 THIS ISN'T FOR YOU. 984 00:34:43,820 --> 00:34:45,560 YOU KNOW, WE CAME HERE, 985 00:34:45,605 --> 00:34:46,735 THERE WAS A PARTY, 986 00:34:46,780 --> 00:34:48,130 THERE WAS AN ACCIDENT. 987 00:34:48,173 --> 00:34:50,353 IT WAS THE FRONT PAGE OF THE "PARADISE GAZETTE." 988 00:34:50,392 --> 00:34:51,832 I DON'T GET THE "GAZETTE." 989 00:34:51,872 --> 00:34:53,092 PAPER BOY WON'T COME UP THE-- 990 00:34:53,134 --> 00:34:54,144 PRIVATE ROAD. 991 00:34:54,179 --> 00:34:55,139 OH, YEAH, SURE. 992 00:34:55,180 --> 00:34:57,140 ANYHOW, UM, 993 00:34:57,182 --> 00:34:58,572 NOW I'M HERE AND... 994 00:34:58,618 --> 00:35:00,358 I'M KIND OF STUCK, 995 00:35:00,402 --> 00:35:02,322 STUCK WITH A HOUSE AND ACREAGE, 996 00:35:02,361 --> 00:35:04,411 LAKE, A COUPLE PONDS. 997 00:35:04,450 --> 00:35:05,490 IT'S NOT ME, YOU KNOW? 998 00:35:05,538 --> 00:35:07,148 I'M NOT A LAND OWNER. 999 00:35:07,192 --> 00:35:08,242 I'M MORE OF A RENTER. 1000 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:09,670 AND NOT A LAND RENTER EITHER, 1001 00:35:09,716 --> 00:35:10,756 AN APARTMENT RENTER-- 1002 00:35:10,804 --> 00:35:12,334 A STUDIO APARTMENT RENTER. 1003 00:35:12,371 --> 00:35:13,331 I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TELL YOU 1004 00:35:13,372 --> 00:35:14,332 THE LONGEST LEASE I EVER SIGNED-- 1005 00:35:14,373 --> 00:35:15,333 - SIX MONTHS. - I DIDN'T KNOW 1006 00:35:15,374 --> 00:35:16,424 THERE WERE SIX-MONTH LEASES. 1007 00:35:16,462 --> 00:35:17,852 OH, THERE ARE. AND I HAVE SIGNED THEM. 1008 00:35:17,898 --> 00:35:19,508 AND THEN WORRIED FOR THE NEXT FIVE MONTHS 1009 00:35:19,552 --> 00:35:22,342 THAT I WAS TRAPPED IN SOME HUGE, BINDING LEGAL COMMITMENT 1010 00:35:22,381 --> 00:35:24,211 THAT WOULD RUIN MY LIFE IF SOMETHING FABULOUS 1011 00:35:24,252 --> 00:35:25,512 CAME ALONG AND I COULDN'T SEIZE IT, 1012 00:35:25,558 --> 00:35:26,858 FOLLOW IT OR MOVE IN WITH IT. 1013 00:35:26,907 --> 00:35:28,387 SOUNDS LIKE YOU ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM. 1014 00:35:28,430 --> 00:35:29,870 YES. THAT'S IT. 1015 00:35:29,910 --> 00:35:31,430 THAT'S IT. I'M A FREE SPIRIT. 1016 00:35:31,477 --> 00:35:33,697 I'M A-- I'M A ROLLING STONE. 1017 00:35:33,740 --> 00:35:36,180 I'M A DUST IN THE AIR KIND OF GIRL. 1018 00:35:36,221 --> 00:35:37,401 WIND. 1019 00:35:37,439 --> 00:35:39,529 WIND. WHAT'S WIND TO YOU IS AIR TO ME, PAL. 1020 00:35:39,572 --> 00:35:41,532 POINT IS, I CAN'T BE NAILED DOWN. 1021 00:35:41,574 --> 00:35:43,844 I CAN'T WORRY ABOUT TERMITES, 1022 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:45,530 OR CORROSION. 1023 00:35:45,578 --> 00:35:47,618 YOU KNOW THE LAST TIME I HAD A CONVERSATION 1024 00:35:47,667 --> 00:35:48,887 ABOUT SEPTIC TANKS? 1025 00:35:48,929 --> 00:35:50,189 - NOPE. - NEVER! 1026 00:35:50,235 --> 00:35:51,365 NEVER IS THE LAST TIME. 1027 00:35:51,410 --> 00:35:52,850 I HONESTLY DIDN'T THINK THERE WAS A SCENARIO 1028 00:35:52,889 --> 00:35:54,279 AFTER THE 1800s 1029 00:35:54,326 --> 00:35:55,886 WHERE PEOPLE CRAPPED IN THE GROUND BEHIND THEIR HOUSE 1030 00:35:55,936 --> 00:35:57,236 AND THEN JUST LEFT IT THERE. 1031 00:35:57,285 --> 00:35:58,285 BUT APPARENTLY THERE IS, 1032 00:35:58,330 --> 00:35:59,810 AND SUDDENLY, I'M THINKING ABOUT IT, 1033 00:35:59,853 --> 00:36:00,853 TALKING ABOUT IT. 1034 00:36:00,897 --> 00:36:02,377 I'M SEPTIC TANK GIRL. 1035 00:36:02,421 --> 00:36:04,471 I WOULDN'T REPEAT "SEPTIC TANK GIRL" 1036 00:36:04,510 --> 00:36:05,550 IF I WERE YOU. 1037 00:36:05,598 --> 00:36:06,728 YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT ONCE 1038 00:36:06,773 --> 00:36:07,733 AROUND HERE, AND IT STICKS. 1039 00:36:07,774 --> 00:36:08,734 THAT'S HOW I GOT THE NAME "BILL." 1040 00:36:08,775 --> 00:36:10,725 I COULD SELL THE PLACE. 1041 00:36:10,777 --> 00:36:13,257 IT'S MINE TO SELL. 1042 00:36:13,301 --> 00:36:15,221 I DON'T WANT ROOTS. 1043 00:36:15,260 --> 00:36:16,700 AND THE ROOTS ARE ROTTING ANYWAY. 1044 00:36:17,871 --> 00:36:19,311 - ROTTING? - MM. 1045 00:36:19,351 --> 00:36:20,871 THE TREE ROOTS-- THEY'RE ROTTING UNDERGROUND 1046 00:36:20,917 --> 00:36:22,217 AND ALL THE TREES ARE GONNA FALL DOWN 1047 00:36:22,267 --> 00:36:23,697 UNLESS I SPEND $40,000 ON THEM. 1048 00:36:23,746 --> 00:36:24,876 $40,000-- 1049 00:36:24,921 --> 00:36:26,661 AND THE SEA AIR IS EATING EVERYTHING. 1050 00:36:26,706 --> 00:36:27,746 AND THE SQUIRRELS ARE ABOUT TO EXPLODE. 1051 00:36:27,794 --> 00:36:28,754 CAN I ASK YOU WHERE YOU GET 1052 00:36:28,795 --> 00:36:29,745 YOUR INFORMATION? 1053 00:36:29,796 --> 00:36:31,446 A REAL ESTATE AGENT. 1054 00:36:31,493 --> 00:36:33,453 OH, GOD. YOU'RE NOT DEALING WITH CLAIRE, ARE YOU? 1055 00:36:33,495 --> 00:36:34,575 DON'T LISTEN TO HER. 1056 00:36:34,627 --> 00:36:35,797 - REALLY? - CLAIRE'S AN IDIOT. 1057 00:36:35,845 --> 00:36:36,795 - SHE IS? - YEAH. 1058 00:36:36,846 --> 00:36:38,756 OH, GREAT. 1059 00:36:38,805 --> 00:36:40,935 YEAH. I THOUGHT THAT BARK BEETLE STUFF 1060 00:36:40,981 --> 00:36:42,241 SOUNDED FISHY. 1061 00:36:42,287 --> 00:36:43,847 BARK BEETLES? YOU HAVE BARK BEETLES? 1062 00:36:43,897 --> 00:36:45,587 - EESH. - EESH? WHY EESH? 1063 00:36:45,638 --> 00:36:46,598 WELL, THOSE ARE TOUGH. 1064 00:36:46,639 --> 00:36:47,599 CRAP. 1065 00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:48,860 NO, IT'S OKAY. THERE'S A SPRAY. 1066 00:36:48,902 --> 00:36:50,252 - A SPRAY? - YEAH. 1067 00:36:50,295 --> 00:36:51,945 WORKS LIKE MAGIC AND IT WON'T COST YOU 1068 00:36:51,992 --> 00:36:53,782 $40,000, NOT BY A LONG SHOT. 1069 00:36:53,820 --> 00:36:54,820 I GET YOUR POINT. 1070 00:36:54,864 --> 00:36:57,264 HOME OWNERSHIP ISN'T FOR EVERYONE. 1071 00:36:57,302 --> 00:36:58,612 IT'S A COMMITMENT. 1072 00:36:58,651 --> 00:37:00,261 YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOU REALLY WANT IT. 1073 00:37:00,305 --> 00:37:01,255 YEAH. 1074 00:37:02,655 --> 00:37:03,785 YOU CAN ALWAYS SELL. 1075 00:37:03,830 --> 00:37:05,270 AND SELL MY MOTHER-IN-LAW WITH IT. 1076 00:37:05,310 --> 00:37:06,270 I CAN'T DO THAT TO HER. 1077 00:37:06,311 --> 00:37:07,791 WELL, GIVE HER A CUT. 1078 00:37:07,834 --> 00:37:08,974 BIG CUT. 1079 00:37:09,009 --> 00:37:10,269 SHE COULD BUY A NICE CONDO, 1080 00:37:10,315 --> 00:37:11,445 AND YOU CAN GO HOME. 1081 00:37:11,490 --> 00:37:13,270 HOME. WHERE? 1082 00:37:13,318 --> 00:37:14,278 BACK TO VEGAS. 1083 00:37:14,319 --> 00:37:15,799 VEGAS ISN'T MY HOME. 1084 00:37:15,842 --> 00:37:16,892 IT'S JUST WHERE I LIVED 1085 00:37:16,930 --> 00:37:17,930 FOR THE PAST 8 YEARS. 1086 00:37:17,974 --> 00:37:19,804 GOD HELP ME IF VEGAS IS MY HOME. 1087 00:37:19,846 --> 00:37:21,716 IT'S NOBODY'S HOME. I TOLD YOU ABOUT MANILOW. 1088 00:37:21,761 --> 00:37:23,721 OKAY. SO-- SO IF NOT VEGAS, 1089 00:37:23,763 --> 00:37:24,893 THEN WHERE? 1090 00:37:24,938 --> 00:37:26,718 I MEAN IF YOU COULD GO LIVE ANYWHERE, 1091 00:37:26,766 --> 00:37:27,896 WHERE WOULD IT BE? 1092 00:37:27,941 --> 00:37:28,941 DOESN'T SOUND LIKE YOU HAVE ANYTHING 1093 00:37:28,985 --> 00:37:29,985 KEEPING YOU HERE. 1094 00:37:30,030 --> 00:37:31,380 SO WHERE? 1095 00:37:31,423 --> 00:37:32,863 [ cell phone ringing ] 1096 00:37:36,384 --> 00:37:37,824 OH, WOW. THEY WON. 1097 00:37:37,864 --> 00:37:39,744 - WHO DID? - THE GIRLS FROM THE DANCE STUDIO. 1098 00:37:39,779 --> 00:37:41,649 PART OF MY INHERITANCE. 1099 00:37:41,694 --> 00:37:43,654 THEY HAD THIS UGLIEST FEET COMPETITION 1100 00:37:43,696 --> 00:37:44,736 AND THEY WON! 1101 00:37:44,784 --> 00:37:46,394 THEY HAVE THE MOST DISGUSTING FEET 1102 00:37:46,438 --> 00:37:49,308 WHICH IS AWESOME AND... WOW. 1103 00:37:49,354 --> 00:37:50,664 TOTALLY TRUE. YIKES. 1104 00:37:50,703 --> 00:37:52,403 OH GOD. YEAH, WELL, GOOD FOR THEM. 1105 00:37:52,444 --> 00:37:54,364 A DANCER WITH A DANCE STUDIO. 1106 00:37:54,402 --> 00:37:55,882 THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING. 1107 00:37:57,884 --> 00:37:58,894 YEAH. 1108 00:38:01,366 --> 00:38:02,666 WELL. 1109 00:38:02,715 --> 00:38:04,665 YOU KNOW, I THINK I WILL HAVE SOME OF THAT WINE. 1110 00:38:04,717 --> 00:38:06,937 OH, THIS ISN'T FOR YOU. 1111 00:38:06,980 --> 00:38:08,330 IT ISN'T? I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING. 1112 00:38:08,373 --> 00:38:09,683 NO, I HAVE SOMEBODY COMING IN A FEW MINUTES. 1113 00:38:09,722 --> 00:38:10,772 YOU HAVE A DATE? 1114 00:38:10,810 --> 00:38:12,550 IF SHE HASN'T BEEN ARRESTED, YES. 1115 00:38:12,594 --> 00:38:14,344 OH MY GOD. I'LL GET OUT OF YOUR WAY. 1116 00:38:14,379 --> 00:38:15,989 NO, IT'S OKAY. YOU CAN STAY UNTIL SHE GETS HERE. 1117 00:38:16,032 --> 00:38:17,692 NO, YOU'VE ALREADY DONE ENOUGH. 1118 00:38:17,730 --> 00:38:19,950 UM. I'LL GO CHECK WITH RUSTY 1119 00:38:19,993 --> 00:38:21,563 ON THE CAR. 1120 00:38:21,603 --> 00:38:23,433 THANK YOU, THOUGH. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 1121 00:38:23,475 --> 00:38:24,605 I'LL SEE MYSELF OUT. 1122 00:38:26,391 --> 00:38:27,391 CAN I HAVE A RIDE? 1123 00:38:27,435 --> 00:38:28,475 - SURE. - THANK YOU. 1124 00:38:59,728 --> 00:39:00,818 BOY, YOU REALLY WANT TO GET 1125 00:39:00,860 --> 00:39:02,730 A GOOD SPOT FOR CLASS TOMORROW. 1126 00:39:02,775 --> 00:39:04,725 - WHAT YOU DOING? - LEAVING. 1127 00:39:04,777 --> 00:39:06,077 OH, DON'T LET ME CHASE YOU OUT OF A PLACE 1128 00:39:06,126 --> 00:39:07,556 YOU'RE REALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN. 1129 00:39:07,606 --> 00:39:08,956 MADAME FANNY SAYS WE CAN COME HERE 1130 00:39:08,998 --> 00:39:10,388 ANY TIME WE WANT. 1131 00:39:10,435 --> 00:39:11,435 IT'S PRETTY LATE. 1132 00:39:11,479 --> 00:39:12,569 - IS IT? - NO CURFEW? 1133 00:39:12,611 --> 00:39:13,701 NOPE. 1134 00:39:13,742 --> 00:39:14,872 DO YOUR PARENTS KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? 1135 00:39:16,049 --> 00:39:17,009 NOPE. 1136 00:39:17,050 --> 00:39:18,620 WHERE DO THEY THINK YOU ARE? 1137 00:39:18,660 --> 00:39:19,660 IN MY BEDROOM. 1138 00:39:19,705 --> 00:39:21,965 WINDOW, TREE BRANCH, DRAINPIPE COMBO? 1139 00:39:22,011 --> 00:39:23,101 BACK STAIRCASE, 1140 00:39:23,143 --> 00:39:25,103 KITCHEN DOOR, SIDE GATE EXIT. 1141 00:39:25,145 --> 00:39:26,755 BOLD. AN IN-HOUSE ESCAPE. 1142 00:39:28,148 --> 00:39:30,408 WHAT IF THEY GO IN YOUR ROOM AND SEE YOU'RE NOT THERE? 1143 00:39:30,455 --> 00:39:31,585 THAT NEVER HAPPENS. 1144 00:39:31,630 --> 00:39:32,720 - BUT IF IT DID. - IT DOESN'T. 1145 00:39:32,761 --> 00:39:34,591 - LET'S PRETEND. - I'M NOT SIX. 1146 00:39:34,633 --> 00:39:35,763 HUMOR ME. 1147 00:39:35,808 --> 00:39:36,938 [ sighs ] THEN I'LL TELL THEM 1148 00:39:36,983 --> 00:39:38,553 I WAS AT GINNY'S, AND WE FELL ASLEEP, 1149 00:39:38,593 --> 00:39:39,813 AND I CALLED BUT NO ONE ANSWERED, 1150 00:39:39,855 --> 00:39:41,025 WHICH IS PERFECTLY PLAUSIBLE BECAUSE 1151 00:39:41,074 --> 00:39:42,864 THEY SLEEP WITH SUPERSONIC EARPLUGS, 1152 00:39:42,902 --> 00:39:44,122 AND THERE'S NO PHONE IN THEIR ROOM. 1153 00:39:44,164 --> 00:39:46,784 NICE. GOOD. 1154 00:39:46,819 --> 00:39:48,119 I OCCASIONALLY USED 1155 00:39:48,168 --> 00:39:49,948 THE "I WAS IN THE SCHOOL LIBRARY 1156 00:39:49,996 --> 00:39:52,476 AND THE JANITOR ACCIDENTALLY LOCKED ME IN. 1157 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:53,780 AND THIS IS NOT A HICKEY ON MY NECK. 1158 00:39:53,826 --> 00:39:55,436 HOW COULD I GET A HICKEY LOCKED IN THE LIBRARY 1159 00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:56,440 ALL NIGHT?" STORY. 1160 00:39:56,481 --> 00:39:57,791 AND THEY BELIEVED THAT? 1161 00:39:57,830 --> 00:39:59,610 - YEP. - WERE THEY MORONS? 1162 00:39:59,658 --> 00:40:00,658 YEP. 1163 00:40:02,182 --> 00:40:03,792 YOU OKAY? 1164 00:40:07,709 --> 00:40:08,709 YEP. 1165 00:40:10,059 --> 00:40:11,189 BE SAFE GETTING HOME. 1166 00:41:01,850 --> 00:41:03,680 HELLO? 1167 00:42:14,053 --> 00:42:16,013 Man on TV: The entire area, and that means 1168 00:42:16,055 --> 00:42:18,185 more sunny skies and warm temperatures... 1169 00:42:18,231 --> 00:42:20,061 - [ door opens ] - [ continues speaking ] 1170 00:42:37,903 --> 00:42:39,913 [ TV shuts off ] 1171 00:42:41,689 --> 00:42:43,039 MAY I ASK WHAT YOU'RE DOING? 1172 00:42:43,082 --> 00:42:45,952 I'M DECANTING SOME WINE, FANNY. 1173 00:42:46,955 --> 00:42:48,295 AND WHEN I'M DONE, 1174 00:42:48,348 --> 00:42:50,658 I'M GOING TO POUR TWO GLASSES, 1175 00:42:50,698 --> 00:42:52,608 AND THEN I'M GOING TO EXPLAIN 1176 00:42:52,657 --> 00:42:54,657 HOW I THINK ALL THIS 1177 00:42:54,702 --> 00:42:57,052 - IS GOING TO WORK. - OH, REALLY? 1178 00:42:57,096 --> 00:42:58,136 YES. 1179 00:42:58,184 --> 00:42:59,624 SHOULD I START PACKING? 1180 00:42:59,664 --> 00:43:00,884 THIS IS YOUR HOME, FANNY. 1181 00:43:02,014 --> 00:43:03,324 HUBBELL WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO EVER FEEL 1182 00:43:03,363 --> 00:43:05,233 THAT IS ISN'T. 1183 00:43:05,278 --> 00:43:06,928 SO YOU'RE GOING TO STAY HERE 1184 00:43:06,975 --> 00:43:09,055 IN THIS HOUSE THAT YOU LOVE, 1185 00:43:09,108 --> 00:43:11,328 AND I'M GOING TO MOVE INTO THE GUEST HOUSE 1186 00:43:11,371 --> 00:43:14,111 BEHIND THE STUDIO. 1187 00:43:14,156 --> 00:43:15,156 AND THEN WHAT? 1188 00:43:15,201 --> 00:43:16,861 THAT'S ALL I GOT SO FAR. 1189 00:43:16,898 --> 00:43:18,808 NOT MUCH OF A PLAN. 1190 00:43:18,857 --> 00:43:20,207 ALL I KNOW 1191 00:43:20,249 --> 00:43:22,159 IS THAT YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE HERE 1192 00:43:22,208 --> 00:43:24,248 AND I'M GOING TO LIVE THERE, 1193 00:43:24,297 --> 00:43:25,647 AND TONIGHT 1194 00:43:25,690 --> 00:43:27,000 WE ARE GOING TO GET VERY, 1195 00:43:27,039 --> 00:43:28,739 VERY DRUNK. 1196 00:43:37,092 --> 00:43:38,882 HOW LONG IS THAT GOING TO TAKE? 1197 00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:41,360 A VERY... 1198 00:43:41,401 --> 00:43:44,011 VERY... 1199 00:43:44,056 --> 00:43:45,876 LONG... 1200 00:43:47,929 --> 00:43:49,239 TIME. 83048

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