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1
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_
2
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And so I thought I'd give
3
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investigative journalism a whirl.
4
00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:10,825
Well, get a hot scoop,
follow some leads,
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00:00:10,827 --> 00:00:12,294
write an expose.
6
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Do I... know you?
7
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Hayley Smith. Remember the name.
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I'm gonna be a famous journalist,
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really blow the lid off something.
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Not sure what yet.
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But, hey,
that's what the class is for,
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nahwhatimeanbrah?
13
00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:25,440
Ow.
14
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,543
Stomp the presses.
15
00:00:27,598 --> 00:00:29,344
_
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00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:31,914
Cool butt. Congratulations.
17
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Journalism. Is. Dead.
18
00:00:41,325 --> 00:00:43,057
This class is mainly gonna focus
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00:00:43,059 --> 00:00:46,128
on picking out the best
gifs for listicles.
20
00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:48,163
That's what journalism is now.
21
00:00:49,199 --> 00:00:52,266
Oh, no!
22
00:00:55,205 --> 00:00:57,806
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
23
00:00:57,808 --> 00:01:01,476
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
24
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:04,412
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
25
00:01:04,414 --> 00:01:08,450
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
26
00:01:10,887 --> 00:01:13,956
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
27
00:01:13,958 --> 00:01:16,758
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
28
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Aah!
29
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:22,207
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
30
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- Mmm!
- Oh, my God, Franny.
31
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Are you kidding me with this watermelon?
32
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Does anyone love
watermelon more than us?
33
00:01:32,376 --> 00:01:35,510
Is this the best day of our whole lives?
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- Mmm.
- You gonna say something or...?
35
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:45,253
Watermelon?
36
00:01:45,255 --> 00:01:47,189
I'm too depressed.
37
00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:50,325
Okay. Mmm.
38
00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:53,595
It's just that,
I was really excited about journalism.
39
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But my professor said journalism's dead.
40
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W-What do you think?
41
00:01:57,734 --> 00:01:59,934
Should I continue or just give up?
42
00:01:59,936 --> 00:02:01,336
You could continue,
43
00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:02,537
you could give up...
44
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:03,938
Right. T-That's what I'm asking.
45
00:02:03,940 --> 00:02:05,607
I mean, should I look for a story?
46
00:02:05,609 --> 00:02:07,141
Or should I drop the class?
47
00:02:07,143 --> 00:02:10,412
Any way you want it,
that's the way you need it.
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Any way you want it.
49
00:02:12,148 --> 00:02:13,548
You're not saying anything.
50
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I-I want your advice.
51
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Hello?
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Beans? In a salad?
53
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Okay...
54
00:02:21,692 --> 00:02:23,992
Are you pretending to be on the phone?
55
00:02:26,830 --> 00:02:27,830
Cool.
56
00:02:27,832 --> 00:02:29,698
Well, I'm gonna go get high in my room
57
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at 2:00 p.m. on a Wednesday.
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Do you have any thoughts on that?
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Wednesday...
it's not spelled how it sounds.
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Ugh!
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00:02:40,110 --> 00:02:41,576
Mmm.
62
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:44,779
- The [BLEEP] was that?
- My parenting style, baby!
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00:02:44,781 --> 00:02:48,383
You know my philosophy...
"benevolent neglect."
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00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:49,918
I don't know.
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As a mother,
you can't be there all the time.
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00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:55,523
Eventually,
you're going to let her down.
67
00:02:55,525 --> 00:02:57,592
So how do you prepare her for that?
68
00:02:57,594 --> 00:03:00,662
By letting her down early and often.
69
00:03:00,664 --> 00:03:02,664
So, you're saying you're
not gonna be there for her.
70
00:03:02,666 --> 00:03:06,535
Yes. And that's for her, ya dig?
71
00:03:06,537 --> 00:03:08,670
Ow! I dig, I dig!
72
00:03:09,473 --> 00:03:11,874
What's Mrs S's problem?
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00:03:11,876 --> 00:03:13,408
My babe is lost.
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00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,677
Just give my babe some guidance.
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Maybe I'm not lost.
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And maybe my professor is wrong.
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And maybe I already know
everything about journalism.
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00:03:24,554 --> 00:03:27,622
Been saying that about you for years.
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00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:29,558
I'm just gonna look for a story.
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00:03:30,827 --> 00:03:33,095
That last hit was a mistake.
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00:03:33,097 --> 00:03:34,496
I can see that now.
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I'm too high.
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00:03:35,566 --> 00:03:38,400
Me too, babe!
84
00:03:41,277 --> 00:03:44,813
Maybe my story's about clouds.
85
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Like, how... where are they sometimes?
86
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Is this something?
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I have a worm in my mouth.
88
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"Something to do with clouds."
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_
90
00:03:59,962 --> 00:04:02,697
Something to do with bubbles?
91
00:04:02,699 --> 00:04:05,499
We should've brought a car.
92
00:04:05,501 --> 00:04:07,368
Stomp the presses.
93
00:04:07,370 --> 00:04:09,103
- Butts.
- ♪ Cool, baby, know what I'm sayin'? ♪
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00:04:09,105 --> 00:04:11,572
♪ Left cheek, right cheek,
left cheek, right cheek ♪
95
00:04:11,574 --> 00:04:13,641
♪ Show off, show off, show off ♪
96
00:04:13,643 --> 00:04:15,243
♪ Show off, boom ♪
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00:04:15,245 --> 00:04:16,911
Jeff, I have been noticing
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00:04:16,913 --> 00:04:19,647
a lot of cool butts in town recently.
99
00:04:19,649 --> 00:04:21,720
My reporter's instinct is telling me
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00:04:21,755 --> 00:04:23,584
to follow 'em, find their source.
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00:04:23,586 --> 00:04:26,488
I'm gonna follow a different lead.
102
00:04:30,460 --> 00:04:33,794
Eat me, red spaghetti!
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00:04:34,330 --> 00:04:36,664
♪ Now let me see that booty work,
booty work ♪
104
00:04:36,666 --> 00:04:38,266
♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪
105
00:04:38,268 --> 00:04:41,335
♪ Left cheek, right cheek,
left cheek, right cheek ♪
106
00:04:41,337 --> 00:04:43,337
♪ Show off, show off, show off ♪
107
00:04:43,339 --> 00:04:45,206
♪ Show off, boom ♪
108
00:04:45,208 --> 00:04:47,275
♪ Boo-boo-booty work ♪
109
00:04:47,277 --> 00:04:48,877
HG.
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00:04:48,879 --> 00:04:51,011
Huh. But what does it stand for?
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00:04:51,013 --> 00:04:52,080
Holy grail!
112
00:04:52,082 --> 00:04:55,616
Stomp the premsses! I got a hot scoomp!
113
00:04:55,618 --> 00:04:57,786
But I'll have to go undercover.
114
00:05:03,159 --> 00:05:05,293
I'm just a regular Hayley.
115
00:05:05,295 --> 00:05:06,961
My hat's in the dumpster.
116
00:05:06,963 --> 00:05:08,496
Okay...
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00:05:08,498 --> 00:05:10,298
Did you need to sign up for a class?
118
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'Cause she's about to start.
119
00:05:12,435 --> 00:05:14,235
- Who she?
- Holly?
120
00:05:14,237 --> 00:05:17,305
HG? The queen of dance cardio?
121
00:05:17,307 --> 00:05:19,440
- Hello?
- Hello.
122
00:05:19,442 --> 00:05:20,841
We specialize in the Holly method,
123
00:05:20,843 --> 00:05:23,177
the only technique proven
to make you a new you.
124
00:05:23,179 --> 00:05:24,512
The first class is free.
125
00:05:24,514 --> 00:05:27,315
We will need a credit card, though.
126
00:05:27,317 --> 00:05:29,336
The class itself is free.
127
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,719
What you get from the class costs $500.
128
00:05:31,721 --> 00:05:33,454
That's too high of a money!
129
00:05:33,456 --> 00:05:37,592
This is an expensive gym
where people have good butts.
130
00:05:37,594 --> 00:05:39,393
I don't think that's a story. Damn.
131
00:05:39,395 --> 00:05:40,995
You look lost.
132
00:05:40,997 --> 00:05:42,130
Well, you look...
133
00:05:46,469 --> 00:05:48,669
...a-ma-ma-ma-mazing.
134
00:05:48,671 --> 00:05:50,404
You reek of weed.
135
00:05:50,406 --> 00:05:52,340
It's the middle of the day.
136
00:05:52,342 --> 00:05:53,942
It's Wednesday.
137
00:05:53,944 --> 00:05:55,543
Do you have any thoughts on that?
138
00:05:55,545 --> 00:05:57,545
It's not spelled how it sounds?
139
00:05:57,547 --> 00:06:00,281
You're lost. I just said so myself.
140
00:06:00,283 --> 00:06:01,749
But I can help.
141
00:06:01,751 --> 00:06:04,485
You need someone to tell you what to do.
142
00:06:04,487 --> 00:06:05,754
You need me.
143
00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:07,688
Yes.
144
00:06:07,690 --> 00:06:09,423
- Yes, what?
- Yes, mommy.
145
00:06:09,425 --> 00:06:10,625
You did it.
146
00:06:10,627 --> 00:06:12,693
You said the right answer.
147
00:06:12,695 --> 00:06:14,362
♪ Booty work, booty work ♪
148
00:06:14,364 --> 00:06:15,896
♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪
149
00:06:15,898 --> 00:06:17,966
♪ Left cheek, right cheek ♪
150
00:06:18,788 --> 00:06:21,422
_
151
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:24,157
We gotta confuse the
muscles to get results.
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00:06:24,159 --> 00:06:25,825
When I say leg, I mean bicep.
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00:06:25,827 --> 00:06:27,026
Just follow me.
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00:06:27,028 --> 00:06:28,762
I am in charge of your body now.
155
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Gimme an amen.
156
00:06:30,366 --> 00:06:31,732
Amen!
157
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:33,809
Good.
158
00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:36,011
Sip some agua, grab some protein,
159
00:06:36,013 --> 00:06:38,548
get those bank routing
numbers to Lindsay,
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00:06:38,573 --> 00:06:40,039
and let's get back out there.
161
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,003
Oh, hey, Hayley.
162
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,672
How's journalism class going?
163
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:48,674
Mom, I dropped that class months ago.
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00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,009
I am a one-class-at-a-time
kind of person.
165
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:53,411
And right now,
it's five workout classes a day,
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00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,612
seven days a week.
167
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,014
But only one class at a time.
168
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,350
That's a physical limitation I have.
169
00:06:58,352 --> 00:06:59,952
Can't be in two classes at once.
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00:06:59,954 --> 00:07:02,220
And I would if I could,
and HG knows that.
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00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:04,156
She gets that I'm dedicated.
172
00:07:04,158 --> 00:07:06,558
She hasn't said it,
but sometimes I can feel
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00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,893
her eyes graze over me,
174
00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:10,296
and I feel oceans of approval and love.
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00:07:10,298 --> 00:07:12,430
One day, I am gonna get a DMT.
176
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,500
That stands for distressed muscle tank.
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00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:16,902
The DMTs get to work out next to HG.
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00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,501
I just gotta put in the time,
keep getting better.
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00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:22,533
I'm gonna go fill up my mattress
with ice and rest up for later.
180
00:07:23,692 --> 00:07:25,825
So, Hayley's in a cult.
181
00:07:25,827 --> 00:07:27,627
Yeah, an exercise cult.
182
00:07:27,629 --> 00:07:29,963
No. It's a real cult, Roger.
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00:07:29,965 --> 00:07:32,366
Like Jonestown with ankle weights.
184
00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:33,567
And I should know.
185
00:07:33,569 --> 00:07:35,501
I've been in more cults than anyone.
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00:07:35,503 --> 00:07:37,137
Remind me?
187
00:07:37,650 --> 00:07:38,735
_
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00:07:39,174 --> 00:07:40,774
Francine!
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00:07:40,776 --> 00:07:42,642
Is that the scrapbook I hear?
190
00:07:42,644 --> 00:07:43,977
I don't have my keys!
191
00:07:43,979 --> 00:07:45,379
I left them in the car
when I rolled out of it!
192
00:07:47,783 --> 00:07:49,783
- Scrapbook!
- Scrapbook?
193
00:07:49,785 --> 00:07:50,850
Oh, shit!
194
00:07:50,852 --> 00:07:53,181
Scrapbook! Yay!
195
00:07:53,182 --> 00:07:55,521
Oh, wow. Remember this?
196
00:07:55,523 --> 00:07:58,524
I liked wearing all the
red and orange clothes.
197
00:07:58,526 --> 00:08:00,460
Oh, this was this vegan one.
198
00:08:00,462 --> 00:08:02,262
We ate so much spelt.
199
00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:04,798
Some people had a lot
of sex with the guy.
200
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,401
Those cupcakes ended up being poisoned.
201
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,736
Still have those Nikes somewhere.
202
00:08:09,738 --> 00:08:13,339
Honey, you might fall for cults,
but let's be real...
203
00:08:13,341 --> 00:08:15,541
cults also fall for you.
204
00:08:15,543 --> 00:08:16,954
Frann-ay!
205
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:20,414
Always skyrocketing right
into the inner circle.
206
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:21,335
True.
207
00:08:21,336 --> 00:08:23,950
I'm either a right-hand
man or a high-up wife.
208
00:08:23,952 --> 00:08:26,352
Oh, God, and there's me on the altar.
209
00:08:26,354 --> 00:08:28,021
You were gonna sacrifice me.
210
00:08:28,023 --> 00:08:30,051
But then the knife broke!
211
00:08:34,362 --> 00:08:36,630
Ah! That was fun. I needed that.
212
00:08:36,632 --> 00:08:38,231
But I gotta get back to it.
213
00:08:38,233 --> 00:08:38,685
Same.
214
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,587
Yeah, it's a big time of year for me.
215
00:08:41,837 --> 00:08:44,170
You've been in a lot of cults.
I remember now.
216
00:08:44,172 --> 00:08:46,440
Yeah, cults are really fun,
217
00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:50,176
but I have a sixth-sense
about when the fun is over.
218
00:08:50,178 --> 00:08:52,979
You know,
when there's gonna be a FBI raid
219
00:08:52,981 --> 00:08:56,049
or mass soo-ey, or blend up beavers
220
00:08:56,051 --> 00:08:58,318
and put it in the town's water supply.
221
00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,453
Cool.
222
00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:01,721
How and why did we get
into this convo again?
223
00:09:01,723 --> 00:09:03,323
- Hayley is in a cult.
- Riiight.
224
00:09:03,325 --> 00:09:04,590
You gonna help her get out?
225
00:09:04,592 --> 00:09:05,926
I'm not helping her.
226
00:09:05,928 --> 00:09:07,928
She's gotta get out
by herself because...
227
00:09:07,930 --> 00:09:09,395
Benevolent neglect!
228
00:09:09,397 --> 00:09:12,176
Speaking of which,
you know what I neglect sometimes?
229
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,533
My own needs.
230
00:09:13,535 --> 00:09:16,303
That's not a joke. It's something sad.
231
00:09:18,874 --> 00:09:21,541
Whooooo! Let's do this!
232
00:09:25,881 --> 00:09:27,080
What's going on?
233
00:09:27,082 --> 00:09:29,349
Everyone huddle up for a second.
234
00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:31,217
We're having a bit of a problem.
235
00:09:31,219 --> 00:09:33,954
The Fire Marshall's
been sniffing around.
236
00:09:33,956 --> 00:09:36,823
He wants to do an "inspection,"
237
00:09:36,825 --> 00:09:38,224
and we all know what that means.
238
00:09:38,226 --> 00:09:39,912
He's gonna come in here
and try to shut us down.
239
00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:46,366
Guns?
240
00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:48,969
They have to be worth $600 each!
241
00:09:48,971 --> 00:09:50,637
And you're just giving them to us?
242
00:09:50,639 --> 00:09:51,971
Is this real?
243
00:09:55,711 --> 00:09:57,443
Hey, girl, what that?
244
00:09:57,445 --> 00:09:58,472
It's my gym gun.
245
00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:00,113
Anyway, I'm just here
to grab some extra clothes
246
00:10:00,115 --> 00:10:01,982
and all of my important documents.
247
00:10:01,984 --> 00:10:03,717
I'm gonna be living at
the gym from now on,
248
00:10:03,719 --> 00:10:05,185
for maximum readiness.
249
00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:08,454
Honey, what if, just like,
as a readiness exercise,
250
00:10:08,456 --> 00:10:10,724
I said, don't go live at the gym?
251
00:10:10,726 --> 00:10:13,593
I'd call you a CV and
tell you to suck my butt.
252
00:10:13,595 --> 00:10:15,662
And a CV is...?
253
00:10:15,664 --> 00:10:16,730
A commitment vampire.
254
00:10:16,732 --> 00:10:18,064
It's the worst thing you can be.
255
00:10:18,066 --> 00:10:20,234
Cool. Perfect answer.
256
00:10:22,070 --> 00:10:25,271
Looks like the fun is over at HG studio.
257
00:10:25,273 --> 00:10:27,607
Unfortunately,
Hayley doesn't seem to have
258
00:10:27,609 --> 00:10:29,409
my sense of cult timing.
259
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:31,011
I'm gonna have to help get her out.
260
00:10:31,013 --> 00:10:32,546
What happened to benevolent neglect?
261
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:34,748
Too late for benevolent neglect!
262
00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:36,149
We've got a new plan.
263
00:10:36,151 --> 00:10:37,746
It's called...
264
00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:40,520
Francine's plan.
265
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:47,694
Keep the car running. I'll be right out.
266
00:10:47,696 --> 00:10:48,762
Vroom vroom.
267
00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:56,723
Mom?!
268
00:10:56,972 --> 00:10:58,705
Did I inspire you?
269
00:10:58,707 --> 00:10:59,618
Yeah.
270
00:10:59,619 --> 00:11:02,912
Let me just say, you have amazing taste.
271
00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:05,579
I wish the first cult I
ever joined was this nice.
272
00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:07,781
- Not a cult.
- It's a great space.
273
00:11:07,783 --> 00:11:10,516
I'm seeing a super-charismatic leader.
274
00:11:10,518 --> 00:11:13,453
The inner circle has sick-ass tanks.
275
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:14,455
DMTs.
276
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:17,123
- Primo cult, for sure.
- Damn right.
277
00:11:17,125 --> 00:11:19,259
But shit is about to go down.
278
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:21,472
We have to get you
out of here right now.
279
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:22,862
Okay, suck my butt.
280
00:11:22,864 --> 00:11:24,892
Since when do you have advice for me?
281
00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:28,756
We will deprogram you later,
but for now, just listen.
282
00:11:28,964 --> 00:11:31,605
The schematics show a
window in the bathroom.
283
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,073
We're gonna slip out.
284
00:11:33,075 --> 00:11:35,609
Roger is waiting outside
with the car running.
285
00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,277
There was a funny smell in the car,
286
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:38,812
and I couldn't get the windows down.
287
00:11:38,814 --> 00:11:40,346
Had to use that hammer to get out.
288
00:11:40,348 --> 00:11:42,749
The little hammer for if
you drive into a river?
289
00:11:42,751 --> 00:11:44,884
Anyway, have you seen HG?
290
00:11:44,886 --> 00:11:46,486
I'm all in, Franny.
291
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:47,687
All. In.
292
00:11:47,689 --> 00:11:49,489
Roger gets it!
293
00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:51,091
And you're a CV.
294
00:11:51,093 --> 00:11:53,760
And I have to report any CV behavior.
295
00:11:53,762 --> 00:11:54,961
- HG!
- HG!
296
00:11:54,963 --> 00:11:56,430
HG, I love you!
297
00:11:56,432 --> 00:11:57,697
Do you see me, HG?
298
00:11:57,699 --> 00:12:00,667
First day, HG! Very impressive, yes?
299
00:12:01,770 --> 00:12:04,570
Hi, ladies! Fire Marshall here.
300
00:12:05,707 --> 00:12:07,573
I'm just gonna take a quick looky-loo,
301
00:12:07,575 --> 00:12:10,043
and I will be out of your hair.
302
00:12:12,911 --> 00:12:14,176
Fire Marshall?
303
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:17,160
Fire Marshall Bill!
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.
304
00:12:17,185 --> 00:12:19,620
Remember that? Oh, my God, so funny.
305
00:12:21,457 --> 00:12:25,659
I'm honored you all have taken
such an interest in my work!
306
00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:30,263
Hmm. All the windows are sealed shut.
307
00:12:30,265 --> 00:12:32,532
That's gonna be a no-go.
308
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:35,102
No one's getting out
of there in a hurry.
309
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:39,739
I'm not lovin' that.
310
00:12:41,076 --> 00:12:43,477
Whoa. Loose floorboard?
311
00:12:43,479 --> 00:12:45,145
When I was a kid,
312
00:12:45,147 --> 00:12:47,747
my grandma tripped on a loose floorboard
313
00:12:47,749 --> 00:12:49,082
and fell on her butt.
314
00:12:49,084 --> 00:12:51,351
It was so embarrassing!
315
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:53,086
I'm gonna have to close this place down.
316
00:12:53,088 --> 00:12:54,420
Just leave!
317
00:12:54,422 --> 00:12:56,690
No one shuts us down
over a loose floorboard!
318
00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:57,891
Aah!
319
00:12:57,893 --> 00:12:59,359
Ah! My tiny gun went off!
320
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:03,229
Y-You shot me in the tummy!
321
00:13:03,231 --> 00:13:04,831
Oh, my God!
322
00:13:04,833 --> 00:13:05,699
What do we do?
323
00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:08,564
Everything is okay.
324
00:13:08,837 --> 00:13:10,504
This needed to happen.
325
00:13:10,506 --> 00:13:12,105
It was necessary.
326
00:13:12,107 --> 00:13:13,907
It had to happen, HG.
327
00:13:13,909 --> 00:13:15,309
Here's the good news...
328
00:13:15,311 --> 00:13:17,911
This brought us to phase two.
329
00:13:17,913 --> 00:13:20,180
Just a little sooner than planned.
330
00:13:20,182 --> 00:13:21,715
Yeah, phase two, HG.
331
00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:24,050
This new woman... what's your name?
332
00:13:24,052 --> 00:13:25,385
- HG?
- No.
333
00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:26,452
Then Britney M.
334
00:13:26,454 --> 00:13:28,054
Welcome to the inner circle.
335
00:13:28,056 --> 00:13:30,324
Two tosses for Britney M.
336
00:13:34,062 --> 00:13:35,329
Yay!
337
00:13:35,331 --> 00:13:37,531
In 20 minutes,
we're gonna load up the buses,
338
00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:38,999
head to the airfield, and take off
339
00:13:39,001 --> 00:13:42,936
for our remote studio location
in the jungles of the Congo.
340
00:13:42,938 --> 00:13:44,871
Everyone have your passports?
341
00:13:44,873 --> 00:13:46,873
Just kidding. We have your passports.
342
00:13:49,188 --> 00:13:50,321
- Ugh!
- Don't worry.
343
00:13:50,346 --> 00:13:52,412
We have your passports.
344
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:54,381
I'm part of the "we."
345
00:13:57,219 --> 00:13:58,752
You saw what I saw.
346
00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:00,286
There's still time.
347
00:14:00,288 --> 00:14:01,955
We can't leave the
country with these people.
348
00:14:01,957 --> 00:14:03,957
You're right. That was crazy.
349
00:14:03,959 --> 00:14:05,692
I wanna go home.
350
00:14:05,694 --> 00:14:09,229
Just follow me behind the bus,
and then start running.
351
00:14:14,236 --> 00:14:15,669
Good work, Francine.
352
00:14:17,373 --> 00:14:19,305
What are you doing?!
353
00:14:19,307 --> 00:14:21,375
Betraying you, getting a cool tank top.
354
00:14:21,377 --> 00:14:23,643
It looks great on you, Francine.
355
00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:26,646
You've got the good shoulders for it.
356
00:14:26,648 --> 00:14:28,582
So do I, though.
357
00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:34,081
And up and back and kick,
358
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:37,150
front, table top, extend.
359
00:14:37,152 --> 00:14:40,287
I mean, I love HG,
but what you did was savage.
360
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,881
Sold out your own kid for a DMT.
361
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,750
My voice is the only
voice I should hear.
362
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:47,151
Sorry, HG.
363
00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:49,020
I mean, I get it. I shot a guy.
364
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:51,422
But I'm like you...
I don't even feel bad about it.
365
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,558
Shhhh! Britney M.
366
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,360
Almost done, HG.
367
00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:57,762
And she's fine.
She's in non-prison confinement.
368
00:14:57,764 --> 00:15:00,899
I don't wanna go to non-prison,
but Hayley's probably okay.
369
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:02,617
- Oh, God.
- Ooof.
370
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:05,088
- I know. It's really hot in here, right?
- Shhhh!
371
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:08,032
And then, I put a little bit of mint,
banana, a green apple.
372
00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:08,909
Sometimes.
373
00:15:08,934 --> 00:15:10,449
It's packed with, like, everything...
374
00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:12,516
flax, chia, fish oil,
CBD oil, coconut oil,
375
00:15:12,518 --> 00:15:15,599
olive oil, pennzoil... it's very oily.
376
00:15:15,624 --> 00:15:17,558
Don't spill it,
because you'll be cleaning
377
00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:18,793
for the rest of the morning.
378
00:15:18,794 --> 00:15:21,628
But you'll have crazy energy
if you get any in your mouth.
379
00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:23,163
How long do I have to be in here?
380
00:15:23,165 --> 00:15:24,699
Until you're ready to dance again.
381
00:15:24,701 --> 00:15:26,967
You mean I can just go back to class?
382
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:27,953
Sure.
383
00:15:27,978 --> 00:15:29,696
But if you are gonna make the smoothie,
384
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:32,439
do not smoke for up to 36 hours after.
385
00:15:32,441 --> 00:15:34,041
You will explode.
386
00:15:39,515 --> 00:15:41,782
Hayley, I'm so sorry.
387
00:15:41,784 --> 00:15:44,318
I never should have betrayed
you for this tank top,
388
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:45,519
even though I look amazing.
389
00:15:45,521 --> 00:15:47,854
We gotta get out of here, for real.
390
00:15:47,856 --> 00:15:49,558
I shouldn't trust you.
391
00:15:50,126 --> 00:15:52,793
Okay, meet me tonight. I know a way.
392
00:15:52,795 --> 00:15:56,247
Also, I figured out which one
of the girls has the bad B.O.
393
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:57,399
It's me.
394
00:15:58,401 --> 00:16:00,401
Just a little further.
395
00:16:00,403 --> 00:16:02,202
Ah, here it is!
396
00:16:02,204 --> 00:16:04,405
You see, HG? I told you!
397
00:16:04,407 --> 00:16:06,006
She's the real CV!
398
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,508
Hayley!
399
00:16:09,122 --> 00:16:10,521
Oh, what, Mom?
400
00:16:10,546 --> 00:16:12,346
I wanna be in the inner circle.
401
00:16:12,348 --> 00:16:14,214
I feel really left out!
402
00:16:14,216 --> 00:16:15,950
I'll take my DMT now, thank you.
403
00:16:15,952 --> 00:16:17,618
You better watch your back!
404
00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:19,486
That DMT is mine.
405
00:16:19,488 --> 00:16:22,489
No, that DMT is mine, actually.
406
00:16:22,491 --> 00:16:24,291
You two are a lot of trouble,
407
00:16:24,293 --> 00:16:25,760
and I don't have time for this.
408
00:16:25,762 --> 00:16:28,429
You're both going to non-prison.
409
00:16:28,431 --> 00:16:29,630
- What?!
- What?!
410
00:16:29,632 --> 00:16:32,833
Ooooh! You made mommy maaaaad.
411
00:16:32,835 --> 00:16:35,102
Shh! You talk too much.
412
00:16:35,104 --> 00:16:37,238
A criticism!
413
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,574
A flying caterpillar!
414
00:16:40,243 --> 00:16:41,308
What is wrong with us?
415
00:16:41,310 --> 00:16:42,509
It's not us.
416
00:16:42,511 --> 00:16:44,711
It's the cult. We're brainwashed.
417
00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:48,115
Yeah, but we're the ones
who decided to join a cult.
418
00:16:48,117 --> 00:16:49,250
That's true.
419
00:16:49,252 --> 00:16:51,385
Why do I keep joining cults?
420
00:16:51,387 --> 00:16:52,853
What is that about?
421
00:16:52,855 --> 00:16:55,922
Maybe it has something
to do with my mom.
422
00:16:55,924 --> 00:16:59,193
She was always telling me
what to do, what to think.
423
00:16:59,195 --> 00:17:00,394
I hated it!
424
00:17:00,396 --> 00:17:03,130
But maybe on some level,
425
00:17:03,132 --> 00:17:05,399
I keep looking to re-create it?
426
00:17:05,401 --> 00:17:07,468
I think it's the opposite for me.
427
00:17:07,470 --> 00:17:10,471
I was dying for someone
to tell me what to do,
428
00:17:10,473 --> 00:17:12,807
or at least just give me some advice.
429
00:17:12,809 --> 00:17:15,209
I'd like you to be that person.
430
00:17:15,211 --> 00:17:16,610
I'm sorry.
431
00:17:16,612 --> 00:17:19,213
I just didn't want to be like my mom.
432
00:17:19,215 --> 00:17:21,215
You're not your mom.
433
00:17:21,217 --> 00:17:24,218
But I do need you to be my mom.
434
00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:25,552
I can do that.
435
00:17:25,554 --> 00:17:27,688
Should we start a coup against HG?
436
00:17:27,690 --> 00:17:31,091
Are you ready for my motherly advice?
437
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:33,160
Yes.
438
00:17:33,162 --> 00:17:34,761
Let's dance.
439
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:38,965
Listen up, ladies!
440
00:17:38,967 --> 00:17:41,302
I've been in a lot of cults in my life,
441
00:17:41,304 --> 00:17:42,970
and I know what's up.
442
00:17:42,972 --> 00:17:46,773
HG acts like a god,
but she's just a person.
443
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:49,510
A very hot, charismatic person
444
00:17:49,512 --> 00:17:51,904
with a great exercise regimen
445
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,648
that gives us confidence
446
00:17:53,650 --> 00:17:56,717
and the direction that
we need in our lives,
447
00:17:56,719 --> 00:18:00,921
and cool butts that look like
two stuck-together onions!
448
00:18:00,923 --> 00:18:03,457
Yay!
449
00:18:03,459 --> 00:18:04,791
No! No.
450
00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:08,329
She means, HG is a bad person.
451
00:18:08,331 --> 00:18:10,256
And we're all brainwashed!
452
00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:14,735
She's got us exercising in
a jungle for 10 hours a day!
453
00:18:14,737 --> 00:18:17,471
Let's band together and get out of here!
454
00:18:17,473 --> 00:18:20,033
And she keeps shushing me. It's so rude.
455
00:18:21,678 --> 00:18:24,171
What's with all the loose floorboards?
456
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,880
Okay, she's not even hurt.
457
00:18:25,882 --> 00:18:26,815
What gives?
458
00:18:26,816 --> 00:18:29,016
The bullets went right through her!
459
00:18:29,018 --> 00:18:30,484
She is a god!
460
00:18:33,422 --> 00:18:35,021
Oh, shit, she is!
461
00:18:35,023 --> 00:18:36,290
My bad, HG!
462
00:18:36,292 --> 00:18:38,936
Kneel before me.
463
00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:41,228
And remember to activate your core
464
00:18:41,230 --> 00:18:44,432
as you beg for my forgiveness.
465
00:18:45,411 --> 00:18:46,693
Huh?
466
00:18:49,372 --> 00:18:50,963
Uh, eyes up.
467
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:52,590
My butt is up here.
468
00:18:57,113 --> 00:18:58,713
She's not a god!
469
00:18:58,715 --> 00:19:00,381
She's not even a person!
470
00:19:00,383 --> 00:19:02,583
She's a hologram!
471
00:19:06,389 --> 00:19:08,589
Uh... occupado?
472
00:19:08,591 --> 00:19:10,257
It's a big, gross man!
473
00:19:10,259 --> 00:19:12,126
On a toilet.
474
00:19:12,128 --> 00:19:14,128
Eating oysters?
475
00:19:14,130 --> 00:19:15,730
Out of a garbage bag?
476
00:19:15,732 --> 00:19:19,400
Oh, look who it is... scoomby-doo.
477
00:19:20,603 --> 00:19:22,136
So, Holly was a hologram.
478
00:19:22,138 --> 00:19:24,071
HG equals Holly Graham.
479
00:19:24,073 --> 00:19:25,806
You figured it out.
480
00:19:25,808 --> 00:19:28,809
Come on, it's funny! It's a joke.
481
00:19:28,811 --> 00:19:31,278
You guys should smile more, by the way.
482
00:19:32,481 --> 00:19:34,881
Yikes, dude. What is your deal?
483
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:35,801
My deal?
484
00:19:35,802 --> 00:19:38,953
No one ever asked the Wizard
of Oz what his deal was.
485
00:19:38,955 --> 00:19:41,756
He could sit behind a curtain,
spying on munkins,
486
00:19:41,758 --> 00:19:44,425
and I can't ogle women
through one-way glass?
487
00:19:44,427 --> 00:19:47,027
I've committed no crimes here.
488
00:19:48,297 --> 00:19:50,765
Why do I discard the
shells into the same sack
489
00:19:50,767 --> 00:19:52,767
I take the fresh ones out of?
490
00:19:52,769 --> 00:19:55,836
Uh, I frustrate myself.
I should get two sacks.
491
00:19:55,838 --> 00:19:57,504
Sometimes you gotta swish around
492
00:19:57,506 --> 00:19:59,240
and look for the loosies at the bottom.
493
00:19:59,242 --> 00:20:01,776
Oooh! Jackpot!
494
00:20:01,778 --> 00:20:04,445
Ugh! Oh, that was a loogie.
495
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:07,037
I should not be spitting
my loogies in there.
496
00:20:08,451 --> 00:20:11,185
See?! You think I'm disgusting.
497
00:20:11,187 --> 00:20:13,120
This is why I need to
hide behind the mirror
498
00:20:13,122 --> 00:20:14,589
in the first place!
499
00:20:14,591 --> 00:20:17,524
You never would have just
let me steal your money
500
00:20:17,526 --> 00:20:19,126
so I could watch you dance all day
501
00:20:19,128 --> 00:20:20,727
while I sit on my little toilet,
502
00:20:20,729 --> 00:20:23,598
digging through my garbage
bag full of oysters.
503
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:27,735
I had to be smart about it.
504
00:20:29,672 --> 00:20:32,807
I see. You're all on
your periods or whatever.
505
00:20:32,809 --> 00:20:35,876
- Ooh!
- ♪ Show off, show off, show off ♪
506
00:20:35,878 --> 00:20:38,078
♪ Boom, show off ♪
507
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,946
Ooh! Ooh!
508
00:20:42,151 --> 00:20:44,551
♪ Now let me see that booty work,
booty work ♪
509
00:20:44,553 --> 00:20:45,886
♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪
510
00:20:45,888 --> 00:20:48,222
I never should have made you so strong!
511
00:20:48,224 --> 00:20:51,492
One last request...
put me back on the toilet.
512
00:20:51,494 --> 00:20:53,828
I wanna die with dignity!
513
00:20:53,830 --> 00:20:55,530
- Suck our butts!
- Suck our butts!
514
00:20:56,298 --> 00:20:57,798
Buh-bye! See you soon.
515
00:21:00,236 --> 00:21:01,936
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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