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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,250
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:03,792 --> 00:00:04,792
What are you guys doing?
3
00:00:04,875 --> 00:00:09,745
I gave Principal Skidmore a hairpin
that's actually a wireless webcam.
4
00:00:15,792 --> 00:00:18,422
What are you smiling about?
This is a school!
5
00:00:20,625 --> 00:00:21,455
(all laughing)
6
00:00:22,125 --> 00:00:23,705
We can see everything she sees?
7
00:00:23,792 --> 00:00:25,922
As long as she's in range of the receiver.
8
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,170
Which pretty much covers any place
in the school.
9
00:00:36,208 --> 00:00:37,578
(all exclaiming)
10
00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:44,997
What's Skidmore looking at now?
11
00:00:45,083 --> 00:00:47,173
Oh. She's looking at a group of kids.
12
00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:49,630
And it looks like
they're watching something on a monitor.
13
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:52,460
Uh-oh.
14
00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:58,457
Chyna! You gave me this!
15
00:00:58,542 --> 00:01:01,632
This is what you rotten kids
use the Internet for?
16
00:01:01,709 --> 00:01:03,579
No. We also use it for online shopping.
17
00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:05,287
Isn't that where you bought the webcam?
18
00:01:06,125 --> 00:01:08,535
(stutters)
Webcam?
19
00:01:09,083 --> 00:01:10,543
It has a webcam?
20
00:01:10,625 --> 00:01:14,455
I just got you this
because it's cute. See?
21
00:01:15,166 --> 00:01:16,536
That's it!
22
00:01:16,625 --> 00:01:20,075
I am turning off Internet access
in this school,
23
00:01:20,166 --> 00:01:22,326
-effective immediately!
-(all groaning)
24
00:01:22,417 --> 00:01:25,077
And you have Chyna to thank!
25
00:01:27,542 --> 00:01:30,542
(groaning)
26
00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:35,671
(children shouting)
27
00:01:39,125 --> 00:01:42,035
♪ Ooh, ooh, doo, doo ♪
28
00:01:42,125 --> 00:01:44,535
♪ Ooh, ooh, doo, doo ♪
29
00:01:44,625 --> 00:01:45,495
Whoo!
30
00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,793
♪ Everybody's got that thing ♪
31
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,415
♪ Something different we all bring ♪
32
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,500
♪ Don't you let 'em clip your wings ♪
33
00:01:51,583 --> 00:01:53,213
♪ You got it, you got it ♪
34
00:01:53,291 --> 00:01:54,831
♪ We're on fire and we blaze ♪
35
00:01:54,917 --> 00:01:56,707
♪ In extraordinary ways ♪
36
00:01:56,792 --> 00:01:58,832
♪ 365 days ♪
37
00:01:58,917 --> 00:02:00,417
♪ We got it, we got it ♪
38
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:02,210
♪ You can dream it ♪
39
00:02:02,291 --> 00:02:03,881
♪ You can be it ♪
40
00:02:03,959 --> 00:02:05,419
♪ If you can feel it ♪
41
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:08,040
♪ You can believe it ♪
42
00:02:08,125 --> 00:02:11,625
♪ 'Cause I am, you are, we are ♪
43
00:02:11,709 --> 00:02:15,539
♪ Exceptional, exceptional ♪
44
00:02:15,625 --> 00:02:18,825
♪ Yeah, I am, you are, we are ♪
45
00:02:18,917 --> 00:02:23,127
♪ Exceptional, exceptional ♪
46
00:02:23,208 --> 00:02:25,498
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
47
00:02:25,583 --> 00:02:27,423
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
48
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:28,420
Whoo!
49
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,000
(students shouting)
50
00:02:34,083 --> 00:02:36,253
(panting)
51
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:42,080
Wow. People are really angry at me
about this whole Internet thing.
52
00:02:42,667 --> 00:02:45,377
I think I got rebooted a couple of times.
53
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,002
(sighs)
Well, at least you guys don't blame me.
54
00:02:50,583 --> 00:02:52,043
You destroyed what I love.
55
00:02:52,125 --> 00:02:55,125
Now I'm going to destroy what you love.
56
00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:56,502
(whirring)
57
00:02:56,583 --> 00:02:57,423
(loud crash)
58
00:03:00,959 --> 00:03:04,209
I don't understand
why everyone is so upset.
59
00:03:04,291 --> 00:03:07,331
We can still go on the Internet
with our cell phones.
60
00:03:07,417 --> 00:03:09,957
No, we can't.
Skidmore jammed our cell phones.
61
00:03:10,041 --> 00:03:11,381
You're lucky.
62
00:03:12,041 --> 00:03:13,581
She peanut-buttered mine.
63
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:20,080
Well, back when we had the Internet,
64
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:23,916
I read online that kids
used to do stuff without the Internet.
65
00:03:25,250 --> 00:03:29,960
Like, we could go to that park
across the street and fly a kite.
66
00:03:30,041 --> 00:03:32,291
How are we supposed
to find our way across the street
67
00:03:32,375 --> 00:03:34,165
without looking up directions online?
68
00:03:35,625 --> 00:03:38,495
How do you think people crossed the road
before there was an Internet?
69
00:03:38,583 --> 00:03:40,133
They followed the chicken?
70
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:42,830
Wait!
71
00:03:42,917 --> 00:03:45,287
How are we supposed to do schoolwork
without Internet?
72
00:03:45,375 --> 00:03:47,245
I have a paper due this afternoon.
73
00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,462
Why don't you guys just use the library?
74
00:03:50,458 --> 00:03:51,788
We have a library?
75
00:03:53,041 --> 00:03:54,581
(glass shattering)
76
00:03:58,959 --> 00:04:00,539
Okay. Seriously, people?
77
00:04:00,625 --> 00:04:02,035
Just because the Internet is out,
78
00:04:02,125 --> 00:04:04,325
there's no reason to resort to violence.
79
00:04:05,333 --> 00:04:08,333
Actually, this is just what people
are using now instead of email.
80
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:11,246
(all laughing)
81
00:04:12,458 --> 00:04:13,578
L.O.L.
82
00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:16,995
(glass shattering)
83
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:24,830
Lexi, you get Internet out here?
84
00:04:24,917 --> 00:04:25,877
What? No.
85
00:04:25,959 --> 00:04:28,249
I only have this laptop
to use the webcam as a mirror.
86
00:04:31,417 --> 00:04:33,247
Well, I better get to class.
87
00:04:33,333 --> 00:04:36,503
Okay, I'll see you later, honey.
I'll miss you.
88
00:04:37,667 --> 00:04:38,497
Wait.
89
00:04:39,083 --> 00:04:42,083
Cameron?
Remember your invisible girlfriend?
90
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,327
I think I'm seeing her now.
91
00:04:46,917 --> 00:04:49,247
Lexi, this is Vanessa.
92
00:04:49,333 --> 00:04:51,173
My actual girlfriend.
93
00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:54,790
My actual girlfriend.
94
00:04:57,166 --> 00:05:00,166
Is he holding you against your will?
Are you in danger?
95
00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:02,540
Blink twice if you want me
to call the authorities.
96
00:05:03,166 --> 00:05:05,916
(chuckles)
I'll see you after school, sweetie.
97
00:05:07,333 --> 00:05:09,583
-(sighs)
-This is very upsetting.
98
00:05:10,417 --> 00:05:12,827
If a girl like that can end up
with someone like you,
99
00:05:12,917 --> 00:05:16,957
I could end up with someone
only slightly more attractive than you!
100
00:05:18,208 --> 00:05:20,578
I'm telling you.
There must be something wrong with her.
101
00:05:20,959 --> 00:05:24,709
Just accept it. She finds me irresistible.
102
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:25,752
Look at yourself.
103
00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:29,460
You're resistible.
104
00:05:31,417 --> 00:05:32,827
I'm telling you,
105
00:05:32,917 --> 00:05:36,037
there must be some other reason
she's interested in you.
106
00:05:36,792 --> 00:05:40,422
Maybe she's a vampire
with a thirst for human blood.
107
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,210
No, she babysits.
108
00:05:43,291 --> 00:05:46,041
Why would anyone hire a babysitter
who's a vampire?
109
00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:49,130
Maybe Vanessa's an alien!
110
00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:51,998
And her species is here
to take over the bodies of humans.
111
00:05:52,083 --> 00:05:55,003
Naturally, it's easier to take control
of someone weak-minded.
112
00:05:55,083 --> 00:05:57,633
Someone without a real personality.
An empty shell!
113
00:05:58,834 --> 00:05:59,884
Yeah. Like that.
114
00:06:07,792 --> 00:06:09,752
(all coughing)
115
00:06:12,083 --> 00:06:15,083
Well, the library does exist.
116
00:06:17,917 --> 00:06:21,127
I don't understand.
How do you find what you need in here?
117
00:06:21,208 --> 00:06:23,208
You just ask the librarian for help.
118
00:06:24,583 --> 00:06:26,333
Excuse me, Miss. We really need...
119
00:06:26,667 --> 00:06:28,917
(screaming)
120
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,460
(shushing)
121
00:06:30,542 --> 00:06:32,712
This is a library.
122
00:06:33,792 --> 00:06:36,542
Don't freak out.
Librarians always look better
123
00:06:36,625 --> 00:06:38,995
when they take off their glasses
and let down their hair.
124
00:06:43,041 --> 00:06:45,831
(all screaming)
125
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,457
See? Cute, huh?
126
00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:53,787
Excuse me, headless skinny lady.
127
00:06:55,166 --> 00:06:58,376
I need to get some information on penguins
for my science assignment.
128
00:06:58,458 --> 00:06:59,958
You came to the right place.
129
00:07:00,041 --> 00:07:02,631
Libraries aren't just filled with dust
and corpses.
130
00:07:02,709 --> 00:07:05,459
They're also filled
with all kinds of valuable information!
131
00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:08,130
She is right.
132
00:07:08,208 --> 00:07:09,958
Here, Paisley, use this.
133
00:07:10,041 --> 00:07:11,291
Thanks!
134
00:07:14,125 --> 00:07:16,035
None of these apps are working.
135
00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:19,535
Thanks, Chyna.
Now I'll never know what a penguin is.
136
00:07:20,291 --> 00:07:22,921
Penguins are a group of aquatic,
flightless birds
137
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,920
that are members
of the Spheniscidae family,
138
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,330
native to the southern hemisphere,
especially Antarctica.
139
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,500
(all clamoring)
140
00:07:32,333 --> 00:07:35,293
Of course!
Anything you need from the Internet,
141
00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:36,915
you can get from us!
142
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:38,500
Information,
143
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,078
images,
144
00:07:40,667 --> 00:07:43,497
music, and funny videos!
145
00:07:43,583 --> 00:07:46,383
We'll be the ANTernet!
146
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,460
Good, because I'm getting tired
of sending email by brick.
147
00:07:51,542 --> 00:07:53,252
-(glass shattering)
-(screaming)
148
00:07:55,834 --> 00:07:57,504
I hate when people use "reply all."
149
00:08:00,542 --> 00:08:01,632
Hey!
150
00:08:01,709 --> 00:08:02,579
Hey!
151
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:05,173
Hey! Hey!
152
00:08:06,959 --> 00:08:08,789
Privet!
153
00:08:08,875 --> 00:08:11,035
Welcome to Hippo's House of Borscht.
154
00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:13,785
Where we're rushin' to serve you.
155
00:08:13,875 --> 00:08:16,665
Although not really. I get winded easily.
156
00:08:18,625 --> 00:08:19,915
This is your new theme?
157
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,920
Russia's really in right now?
158
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,040
I don't know. Usually I look online
to find out what's in,
159
00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:27,535
but since I "borrow"
wi-fi from the school,
160
00:08:27,625 --> 00:08:29,075
this was just a shot in the dark.
161
00:08:29,959 --> 00:08:32,289
Your server today will be Alexi.
162
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:38,923
Take good care of them, dollface.
163
00:08:43,625 --> 00:08:47,125
Here's something I never thought
I'd say to you, Cameron.
164
00:08:47,208 --> 00:08:48,128
(chuckles)
165
00:08:48,917 --> 00:08:49,997
Table for two?
166
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,500
I just wanted you to know, you were wrong.
167
00:08:58,583 --> 00:09:00,753
I have proof Vanessa is not an alien.
168
00:09:00,834 --> 00:09:02,754
She rode here in the basket of my bike
169
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,294
and not once did we leave the ground.
170
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,460
Whatever. I have my own problems,
171
00:09:09,542 --> 00:09:12,502
like having to wear this stupid,
uncomfortable costume.
172
00:09:19,583 --> 00:09:20,753
That's better.
173
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,630
Good question. I love Slovakia!
174
00:09:28,709 --> 00:09:30,249
It boasts beautiful mountains
175
00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:35,043
with Gerlachovsky stit
being its highest peak at 2,655 meters.
176
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:38,252
Wait, you're the geography teacher.
Shouldn't you know this?
177
00:09:40,625 --> 00:09:43,035
Here you go. A picture of a hot chick.
178
00:09:46,709 --> 00:09:47,749
(purrs)
179
00:09:49,792 --> 00:09:52,332
(in British accent)
Ouch! Ouch Charlie!
180
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,787
(wailing)
181
00:09:55,500 --> 00:10:00,670
Charlie bit me,
and that really hurt, Charlie.
182
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,500
(laughter)
183
00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:05,583
I also do music downloads.
184
00:10:06,834 --> 00:10:08,464
♪ So you didn't show up ♪
185
00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:10,332
♪ My heart didn't blow up ♪
186
00:10:10,417 --> 00:10:13,827
♪ I ain't gonna lose it all tonight ♪
187
00:10:14,583 --> 00:10:17,583
See? Isn't this better
than getting your music from piracy?
188
00:10:17,667 --> 00:10:18,497
(sword swishing)
189
00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:22,495
(imitates pirate yelling)
190
00:10:22,583 --> 00:10:24,713
♪ So ya didn't show up ♪
191
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:26,542
♪ My heart didn't blow up ♪
192
00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:30,035
♪ I ain't gonna lose it all tonight ♪
193
00:10:30,625 --> 00:10:31,575
I have a question.
194
00:10:31,667 --> 00:10:33,327
Sure. What would you like to know?
195
00:10:34,041 --> 00:10:35,631
Why are my parents always fighting?
196
00:10:35,709 --> 00:10:36,999
That's an easy one.
197
00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:38,833
According to statistical research,
198
00:10:38,917 --> 00:10:40,667
the vast majority of conflict
among couples
199
00:10:40,750 --> 00:10:42,250
is caused by financial stress,
200
00:10:42,333 --> 00:10:44,633
communication issues,
or lack of quality time together.
201
00:10:45,041 --> 00:10:45,881
Next!
202
00:10:48,041 --> 00:10:51,501
(sobbing)
203
00:10:53,208 --> 00:10:56,128
Olive! Paisley has a real problem,
204
00:10:56,208 --> 00:10:59,168
and she needs emotional support,
not cold hard facts.
205
00:10:59,667 --> 00:11:01,417
That's what Internet would have told her.
206
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,460
Well, we're not computers.
207
00:11:03,542 --> 00:11:04,752
We're human.
208
00:11:05,792 --> 00:11:07,752
Hmm? Oh, thanks.
209
00:11:09,458 --> 00:11:12,168
(playing pop music)
210
00:11:29,667 --> 00:11:31,247
Oh! Cute!
211
00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:37,787
Am I crazy,
or does this borscht taste like foot?
212
00:11:37,875 --> 00:11:38,875
You're crazy.
213
00:11:42,458 --> 00:11:44,578
I don't feel so well.
214
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:52,580
I don't get why this place isn't busier.
215
00:11:52,917 --> 00:11:55,037
I put these on every windshield in town.
216
00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,960
Maybe you should consider
using a pretty girl
217
00:12:01,041 --> 00:12:03,081
instead of whatever the heck this is.
218
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,540
A pretty girl. Great idea!
219
00:12:07,625 --> 00:12:08,955
There's one over there!
220
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,710
Hey there.
I was wondering if you might be interested
221
00:12:14,792 --> 00:12:16,922
in posing for some
flyers for my restaurant.
222
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,290
Because my current flyer
is getting a somewhat mixed reaction.
223
00:12:20,375 --> 00:12:22,665
I love it, but everyone else hates it.
224
00:12:24,291 --> 00:12:27,041
I actually am a model.
225
00:12:27,125 --> 00:12:30,165
Awesome!
Can you come by for a photo shoot later?
226
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:33,962
Sure, but you should know I'm an alien.
227
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:36,040
You mean you're from up there?
228
00:12:36,125 --> 00:12:37,325
Yeah. Canada.
229
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:42,328
Since I'm from another country,
do I need a work permit?
230
00:12:42,417 --> 00:12:44,077
Work permit?
(scoffs)
231
00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:46,166
I don't even have a restaurant license.
232
00:12:49,166 --> 00:12:51,536
Just show up here tonight at six
with your makeup on.
233
00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:58,330
Hi, Mom! Having fun on your cruise?
234
00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:02,040
(sighs)
Things are going really well down here.
235
00:13:02,625 --> 00:13:06,665
I just got a new assignment.
No, it doesn't matter that I'm an alien.
236
00:13:08,250 --> 00:13:10,540
All I have to do
is show up with my face on.
237
00:13:10,625 --> 00:13:11,575
(exclaims)
238
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,582
Oh, Cameron, I didn't see you there.
239
00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:16,207
I was just calling my mother's ship.
240
00:13:23,166 --> 00:13:24,326
Paisley?
241
00:13:25,041 --> 00:13:25,881
Paisley?
242
00:13:26,709 --> 00:13:27,669
Are you in here?
243
00:13:28,542 --> 00:13:31,042
(Paisley) No. Go away.
244
00:13:31,458 --> 00:13:33,038
Well, she's not in here. Let's go.
245
00:13:34,542 --> 00:13:35,542
No.
246
00:13:36,291 --> 00:13:39,631
We need to help her.
She needs a shoulder to cry on.
247
00:13:39,709 --> 00:13:40,539
Here.
248
00:13:43,166 --> 00:13:44,036
Olive.
249
00:13:44,917 --> 00:13:48,667
Um, Paisley, are you okay?
250
00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:50,455
Is there anything I can do?
251
00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:53,001
There's lots of things you can do,
252
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,923
play instruments,
write songs, make friends.
253
00:13:57,125 --> 00:13:59,285
Wait, why am I cheering you up?
254
00:14:01,166 --> 00:14:03,996
I don't think I'll ever stop crying.
255
00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:06,083
Oh, sure you will.
256
00:14:06,166 --> 00:14:09,036
Tears are mostly water,
so you'll eventually become dehydrated,
257
00:14:09,125 --> 00:14:11,125
which, if untreated,
can result in delirium,
258
00:14:11,208 --> 00:14:12,998
unconsciousness, swelling of the tongue
259
00:14:13,083 --> 00:14:14,253
and in extreme cases, death.
260
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,670
(sobbing)
261
00:14:17,750 --> 00:14:18,960
(sighs)
262
00:14:19,041 --> 00:14:22,081
Olive, we're supposed
to be making her feel better.
263
00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:27,000
Hey. You want to see a video
that always makes me smile?
264
00:14:28,208 --> 00:14:33,628
(vocalizing)
265
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,578
(vocalizing)
266
00:14:40,083 --> 00:14:42,543
(whining)
267
00:14:42,625 --> 00:14:45,165
Paisley, all parents fight.
268
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:48,000
It's a natural part of all relationships.
269
00:14:48,583 --> 00:14:51,793
But I love them so much
and I hate to see them unhappy.
270
00:14:51,875 --> 00:14:54,495
Well, I'm sure they have
some good times together.
271
00:14:55,208 --> 00:14:56,458
They used to.
272
00:14:57,750 --> 00:15:01,540
Well, why don't we throw them a romantic
dinner and rekindle their romance?
273
00:15:02,166 --> 00:15:05,206
That's a great idea, creepy singing man.
274
00:15:08,625 --> 00:15:09,915
Where did Chyna go?
275
00:15:20,417 --> 00:15:21,497
(screams)
276
00:15:23,625 --> 00:15:25,575
What are you doing in my locker?
277
00:15:26,208 --> 00:15:27,328
Hiding from Vanessa.
278
00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:30,750
You know,
I thought I'd be claustrophobic in here,
279
00:15:30,834 --> 00:15:33,384
but all these mirrors
really open up the room.
280
00:15:34,875 --> 00:15:36,665
Why are you hiding from Vanessa?
281
00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,790
I found out she is an alien.
282
00:15:38,875 --> 00:15:40,495
Yeah, Hippo told me.
283
00:15:40,583 --> 00:15:43,253
And yet he hired her as a model
and not me.
284
00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:46,705
I should call the government
and have them come and take her away.
285
00:15:46,792 --> 00:15:50,542
What? No! I don't want anything
to happen to her!
286
00:15:50,625 --> 00:15:52,455
Even though
we're from two different worlds,
287
00:15:52,542 --> 00:15:54,002
our love can survive!
288
00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:57,133
Aw, that's amazing.
289
00:15:57,208 --> 00:15:58,458
Thanks, Lexi.
290
00:15:58,542 --> 00:16:00,422
No, I meant my complexion.
291
00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:05,713
Just when I thought
I couldn't get any prettier.
292
00:16:10,792 --> 00:16:13,292
(Chyna) This dinner for Paisley's parents
has to be perfect.
293
00:16:13,625 --> 00:16:15,245
Angus, what are you making?
294
00:16:15,333 --> 00:16:16,673
Chipped beef.
295
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:26,580
Hi, guys.
296
00:16:27,583 --> 00:16:29,543
Paisley? Where are your parents?
297
00:16:30,125 --> 00:16:31,665
Right here.
298
00:16:32,583 --> 00:16:34,333
(both chirping)
299
00:16:35,625 --> 00:16:36,915
Those are parrots.
300
00:16:37,625 --> 00:16:41,665
Right. My parrots.
The ones I said are always fighting.
301
00:16:43,375 --> 00:16:45,875
(parrot 1) Stop nagging, you old buzzard!
302
00:16:45,959 --> 00:16:49,169
(parrot 2) Shut your trap, birdbrain!
303
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:51,290
I don't know why everyone
keeps talking about it.
304
00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:53,575
There's nothing fun about angry birds.
305
00:16:55,083 --> 00:16:57,673
Okay, there must have been
a misunderstanding.
306
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,250
We thought you were bringing your parents.
307
00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:03,043
My parents wouldn't fit in this cage.
308
00:17:04,125 --> 00:17:06,745
Well, I guess we're done here.
309
00:17:07,875 --> 00:17:10,165
What about the romantic dinner?
310
00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:12,535
You promised you'd help them.
311
00:17:13,083 --> 00:17:14,213
(crying)
312
00:17:16,041 --> 00:17:19,291
Come on, guys.
Paisley really needs our help.
313
00:17:19,375 --> 00:17:20,705
They may just be parrots to us,
314
00:17:20,792 --> 00:17:23,332
but they're obviously
really important to her.
315
00:17:25,083 --> 00:17:28,543
Don't cry, Paisley.
We can still have the dinner.
316
00:17:28,625 --> 00:17:29,825
For your birds.
317
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:35,710
Here you go.
Two soups with extra crackers.
318
00:17:36,542 --> 00:17:39,792
(parrot 1) Keep stuffing your gizzard,
you tub of lard!
319
00:17:40,750 --> 00:17:43,170
(parrot 2) At least I'm not going bald!
320
00:17:44,083 --> 00:17:45,673
This isn't working.
321
00:17:46,250 --> 00:17:48,380
Hey.
You want these birds to stop fighting?
322
00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:50,128
Give me five minutes alone with them.
323
00:17:50,208 --> 00:17:51,708
You going to put them in chipper?
324
00:17:51,792 --> 00:17:53,332
I don't hear a better plan.
325
00:17:54,458 --> 00:17:57,038
Give me five minutes alone with them.
326
00:17:57,125 --> 00:17:58,665
I'll talk to them.
327
00:17:58,750 --> 00:18:01,710
Uh, I don't know, Olive.
328
00:18:01,792 --> 00:18:04,672
You're not always
the most sensitive person.
329
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,500
What? I am super sensitive.
330
00:18:07,583 --> 00:18:10,133
Really? When Fletcher broke his arm
at his birthday party
331
00:18:10,208 --> 00:18:11,498
and had to go to the hospital,
332
00:18:11,583 --> 00:18:14,173
you just said, "More cake for us!"
333
00:18:20,709 --> 00:18:24,579
Welcome to my new restaurant,
Hippo's Petri Dish.
334
00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:28,577
Where we're allowed to have bacteria
in the food because it's science-y.
335
00:18:30,125 --> 00:18:32,285
What happened to the Russian theme?
336
00:18:32,375 --> 00:18:34,205
Russia is very out right now.
337
00:18:34,291 --> 00:18:37,041
Except in Russia,
where it remains moderately popular.
338
00:18:38,625 --> 00:18:41,705
Lexi!
Take over while I do the photo shoot!
339
00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:51,535
Lexi, why are you dressed like that?
340
00:18:51,625 --> 00:18:55,125
Well, I figured if one pretty girl
would bring in customers,
341
00:18:55,208 --> 00:18:57,878
think of what would happen
if you used one pretty girl
342
00:18:57,959 --> 00:18:59,709
and one even prettier girl.
343
00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:02,205
I like the way you think.
344
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:06,290
But where am I going to find
another pretty girl on such short notice?
345
00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:10,535
Now go get
into your dissected frog costume.
346
00:19:14,875 --> 00:19:16,955
Okay, strike a pose.
347
00:19:17,583 --> 00:19:18,833
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
348
00:19:18,917 --> 00:19:20,877
All right, all right, all right,
that's great.
349
00:19:20,959 --> 00:19:23,879
-(camera clicking)
-Just act like I'm not even here.
350
00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:29,498
Stay still.
This'll be over before you know it.
351
00:19:29,583 --> 00:19:30,673
You monsters!
352
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:34,830
I won't let you cut open
this poor creature!
353
00:19:34,917 --> 00:19:37,077
Cameron? What are you doing?
354
00:19:37,166 --> 00:19:40,456
Saving you!
And destroying this torture chamber!
355
00:19:41,041 --> 00:19:44,751
(grunts)
356
00:19:46,417 --> 00:19:49,627
What is this, reinforced steel?
357
00:19:54,083 --> 00:19:56,383
There you go, hero of Earth.
358
00:19:57,250 --> 00:20:00,250
Hey! This restaurant's theme is science,
359
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:03,423
not jerks that come in
and smash everything.
360
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:05,920
Although that's a pretty good hook.
361
00:20:06,917 --> 00:20:07,747
A hook?
362
00:20:07,834 --> 00:20:10,174
Is that what you're going to use
to tear open her face?
363
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:13,706
So what if under all that makeup
she's a beast?
364
00:20:13,792 --> 00:20:17,582
Where she comes from
this is probably considered hideous.
365
00:20:19,375 --> 00:20:20,785
Where I come from, too.
366
00:20:22,417 --> 00:20:24,827
Well, I won't let you cut her open!
367
00:20:24,917 --> 00:20:27,077
And I don't care that she's an alien!
368
00:20:27,166 --> 00:20:28,416
I love her!
369
00:20:29,083 --> 00:20:31,753
Aw. I love you, too.
370
00:20:32,834 --> 00:20:36,084
But I wouldn't think being from Canada
is that big a deal.
371
00:20:37,667 --> 00:20:38,667
Canada?
372
00:20:39,875 --> 00:20:41,535
You're from Canada?
373
00:20:43,458 --> 00:20:47,078
That gives me an idea!
A Canadian-themed restaurant!
374
00:20:47,166 --> 00:20:49,746
We could serve chow mein
and play backgammon.
375
00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:53,999
I don't really know
very much about Canada.
376
00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:01,500
So, how did it go?
377
00:21:01,583 --> 00:21:02,543
Hear for yourself.
378
00:21:02,917 --> 00:21:06,537
-(parrot 1) You're the best!
-(parrot 2) I love you!
379
00:21:07,625 --> 00:21:08,665
Wow, Olive!
380
00:21:08,750 --> 00:21:12,250
Who would have thought five minutes
alone with you would be so amazing?
381
00:21:12,333 --> 00:21:13,673
(squawking)
382
00:21:17,375 --> 00:21:18,455
Thanks, guys!
383
00:21:19,041 --> 00:21:20,171
You don't have to thank us.
384
00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:23,040
You should just thank me.
Because I did it all.
385
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,710
Wow, Olive. I guess I misjudged you.
386
00:21:27,792 --> 00:21:30,582
You really can go deeper
than just spouting facts.
387
00:21:30,667 --> 00:21:32,497
(parrot 1) Interesting factoid.
388
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:35,668
(parrot 2) Parrots mimic human speech.
389
00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:37,330
But they have no vocal cords
390
00:21:37,375 --> 00:21:39,665
so sound is accomplished by expelling air
391
00:21:39,750 --> 00:21:42,210
across the mouth
of the bifurcated trachea.
392
00:21:43,041 --> 00:21:44,001
Wait a minute.
393
00:21:46,417 --> 00:21:49,247
You just got them
to repeat things you said.
394
00:21:49,333 --> 00:21:51,213
-That's not true.
-(parrot 1) That's not true.
395
00:21:51,291 --> 00:21:52,831
(parrot 2) That's not true.
396
00:21:55,667 --> 00:21:57,327
You didn't resolve their issues at all.
397
00:21:57,417 --> 00:21:59,077
They don't have issues.
398
00:21:59,166 --> 00:22:00,326
They don't hate each other?
399
00:22:00,417 --> 00:22:01,827
No. They weren't fighting.
400
00:22:01,917 --> 00:22:05,327
They were just repeating nasty things
they've heard people in your house say.
401
00:22:05,417 --> 00:22:08,957
My mother was right. I'm too good for you.
402
00:22:09,542 --> 00:22:11,502
Uh, Paisley.
403
00:22:12,083 --> 00:22:13,253
I hate to tell you this,
404
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:16,133
but I think your mom and dad
might be fighting.
405
00:22:16,208 --> 00:22:18,328
Oh yeah, they fight all the time.
406
00:22:19,834 --> 00:22:21,464
(parrot 1) Get off my back, woman!
407
00:22:21,750 --> 00:22:23,540
(parrot 2) Get off the couch, deadbeat!
408
00:22:25,083 --> 00:22:27,213
(chuckles)
"Get off the couch, deadbeat!"
409
00:22:27,291 --> 00:22:29,581
That is so Mom.
410
00:22:34,542 --> 00:22:38,502
Everyone,
I've decided to turn the Internet back on.
411
00:22:38,583 --> 00:22:40,673
(all cheering)
412
00:22:40,750 --> 00:22:42,330
So what happened, Principal Skidmore?
413
00:22:42,417 --> 00:22:45,077
Did you finally realize
that the free flow of information
414
00:22:45,166 --> 00:22:46,706
is more important to society
415
00:22:46,792 --> 00:22:49,332
than the feelings of one old lady
in pancake makeup?
416
00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:54,540
No. I realized I was missing
important emails.
417
00:22:54,625 --> 00:22:58,915
Like the one saying the superintendent
was coming to do an inspection.
418
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,000
By the way, if he asks,
the librarian is still alive,
419
00:23:02,083 --> 00:23:04,463
and they should continue
issuing her paychecks.
420
00:23:07,625 --> 00:23:09,035
Why is everyone so happy?
421
00:23:09,125 --> 00:23:10,705
This is a school.
422
00:23:11,834 --> 00:23:15,134
Principal Skidmark
is turning the Internet back on.
423
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,040
Oh! Thank goodness.
424
00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:21,375
Because I'm tired
of doing Dramatic Chipmunk.
425
00:23:21,959 --> 00:23:24,959
(ominous music playing)
31400
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